Post by "The Welsh Dragon" Dan White on Apr 10, 2013 17:09:12 GMT -4
San Jose, Tuesday 9th April 2013
The scene opens up in San Jose, Costa Rica. In Justice Square to be precise. The weather is predictably fantastic for this time of year in the Central American nation, hitting about 23 degrees and feeling just a little bit humid. Better than the four degrees suffered in the United Kingdom recently. Dan and Sgt. Pilko, his younger brother are stood opposite the square’s most famous statue, the “Tradition, Stability and Justice” monument that dominates the landscape. And yeah, I did Wikipedia that because I’m not as clued up on my Costa Rican landmarks than I’d like to be.
It’s a thought-provoking statue, and Dan and his brother gaze at it, resting against a fence. It’s a nice break from the constant travel professional wrestling brings to one, and boxing scouting brings to the other.
Dan White: It’s powerful to look at, isn’t it.
Sgt. Pilko: Yeah it is. All those…shapes…
He might be one for catching a talented boxer, but Pilko doesn’t quite have the philosophical edge out of the duo when it comes to abstract art.
Dan White: Panama was a bit of a success all round, then?
Sgt. Pilko: Aye man, got a couple of agent’s numbers. Some canny talent in that country, like. Beautiful place as well, shame there wasn’t much to do.
Dan White: Aye but a lot of these countries are like that. Fantastic places though. You’d think with all the war and stuff these countries would be dangerous to breach into. Then again it’s not like we’re going into Honduras or El Salvador.
Sgt. Pilko: Or Wales.
Dan ignores his brother’s comments, and the duo stand, watching the world go by. People watching, it’s a very pleasurable thing sometimes. A mostly innocent voyeuristic event enjoyed by almost everyone.
Sgt. Pilko: Reckon you’ll win on Thursday then?
Dan White: Aye I think so. AC Smith, saw his match at Rasslemania and it wasn’t the most impressive thing in the world. Then again those kind of matches are.
Sgt. Pilko: Hardcore?
Dan White: Triple Threat.
Dan still going on about that damn dark match from APW’s flagship event.
Dan White: They’re always solid to win, and you basically have to take an advantage at the right time. Everyone always falls on the ground, you just have to hope when someone does, you’re the one in the best position to take the win. Doesn’t matter, anyone could win a Triple Threat. God damn I hate those types of matches.
Sgt. Pilko: Hardcore matches are the same though, and I’d know more than you.
Dan turns to Pilko, raising an eyebrow.
Sgt. Pilko: Howay I would! I was always in those divisions whenever I wrestled! It’s true though, you have to take an advantage of a lucky situation. If we were fighting each other, it’d basically be who could find the biggest weapon first would win. Where’s the tactics there?
Dan White: So basically you’re saying that you’re tactically inept and you could only win in a Hardcore division cos you’d pick up the biggest thing like a club and caveman-style it on your way to winning?
Sgt. Pilko: Fuck off! I’d kick your arse in a street fight any day of the week! Let’s go now, I’d put that stupid stone ball through your head!
Dan White: Whatever boyo! You never beat me!
Sgt. Pilko: Aye I fucking did! I’ve beaten you plenty of times.
They leave their quarrel in an awkward, angry silence, turning away from each other and continuing to watch the world pass them. A stunning lady walks past, suited up with the finest fashion brands, although a closer look would suggest that she’s sporting fakes. Even so, it’s interesting and to some people perhaps unsettling how much the “Western World” has influenced areas like here, particularly in a region that witnessed countless occasions of the people overruling the national government. And it leads us on to our next topic, with the brothers still refusing to look at each other.
Sgt. Pilko: Thatcher’s dead then.
Dan White: Aye. Ding dong, the witch is dead. I mean I’m not gonna celebrate a death, not like the street parties at home but what she did to where I’m from and where you’re from…nah, I’m not accepting that. Hated the old cunt. But yeah she’s 87. Whatever. She’s had a life and she was able to live it how she wanted it.
Sgt. Pilko: And her mates.
Dan White: And her mates. The whole thing royally pisses me off and the more I think about it the more I can’t stand it. Just the Conservatives in general. What they did to Wales in Aberfan and to Tryweryn. Fuck them.
Sgt. Pilko: Aye. Come up North, come to Durham. It’s shocking what she did to our area.
Dan White: It is, but I plan on talking about that later. Not in the mood for it at the moment. She was scum, let’s leave it at that.
Sgt. Pilko: Fair enough. What do you think of AC Smith then?
Dan White: He’s nothing to me.
Sgt. Pilko: Ohhhhhh Viennnnnaaaaa
This prompts a bit of a chuckle from the Welsh Dragon, who manages to shake it off.
Dan White: He’s had that title for a while and fair play to him. Schedule’s been kind to him though. As a person though I’m right. He’s nothing to me. We’ve come together to have a scrap, it’s not like we challenged each other. Just the way whoever decides the matches has decided. He’s a popular fella like, but I’m popular around these parts as well. I dunno though, I think I have what it takes to beat him.
Sgt. Pilko: You’ve got a poor record against people bigger than you, though.
Dan White: Oh piss off with your winding up.
Sgt. Pilko: It’s true though! I have to work with statisticians and one guy had done some wrestling stuff. Reeled through some old, famous names and your propped up. Said you only ever won twenty three per cent of people that were more than ten pounds heavier than you. That speaks volumes, that does.
Dan White: Aye but that’s all bollocks as well. Most of my career I was a young whippet who spoke big billy bollocks and got in trouble for it. Like that ten on one handicap match I had? Apart from the lasses they were all bigger than me so that’s gonna skew up the results, isn’t it?
Sgt. Pilko: Even so, it’s something to think about eh. You’ll have to do your homework against this lad, unlike your opponent you’ve had so many breaks in wrestling you’re like Stephen Hendry.
I bet that snooker reference falls on deaf ears, but whatever.
Dan White: …pint?
Sgt. Pilko: Aye, if you can find a bar.
And so our conversation between the brothers ends as it normally does, with a quest to find a local pub. Hopefully it does local ale, mine’s a cask.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
San Jose, 10th April 2013
The evening after the morning after the night before. And it wasn’t actually too messy. A few drinks downtown, talking to any locals that could speak slurred English, and then a few more in the hotel before heading off to bed. Pilko is away acquiring some more boxing contracts, and White is free to sit in the hotel and sip a beer, as our camera fades in.
The hotel is somewhat basically, with white walls and wooden panelling a distinctive feature both in 1970s bars and in 2010s Costa Rica. Regardless it tastes okay and it supplies Dan with the fuel he needs to get through a nice big hearty rant.
Game on.
Dan White: Margaret Thatcher died on Monday. And as a member of the lower or working class I could not have been happier. To see family friends be completely stripped of their livelihoods shattered by her heartless policies and entire communities decimated by her beliefs. People literally died. Well, they weren’t executed or anything like that but their quality of life was torn to the point that stubborn grown men, miners from the age of fourteen, felt so gutted and so ashamed of not being able to contribute for their family killed themselves. Others went destitute. Community spirit is something you see strong in the United States. I might not like your sports but I do admire your ability to get sixty thousand people for a university match. Most unis in the UK would be lucky to get above ten people coming to watch. Now we never had that as such but we had a community spirit like none other. The British attitude towards life was a very positive one, and that’s well documented throughout history. Having a stiff upper lip, the Dunkirk spirit, and our ability to live and prosper under a local society. A community.
Thatcher took that away and while I’m not here to make some ludicrous hate-fuelled political speech largely manufactured to get some cheap heat like the World champion Michael Callahan does, I feel that from the heart this needs to be spoken about. And there’s a point to all this, I’ll get to it in a moment. But let’s look at me for the short while. I’m now in my thirties, and I’ve managed to make a bit of a name for myself. Granted, I recently went and got into a little bit of debt, just a touch, but I’m generally okay and where I’ve come from, I’ve really done well for myself. Aye, the seventies sucked in a few ways in Britain but then you have someone come along like Margaret Thatcher, someone who sadly will be revered around the world for the fact that she has a minge and her foreign policy. She was good a sucking up. She was good at making sure her mates remained in power, including Saddam and the pro-Apartheid South African government. And she was good at doing that at home as well. She was good at making sure her Eton and Harrow pals got stronger and richer, and she helped her banker friends by allowing them to take the obscene bonuses that came under the greatest of scrutinies this recession. She was excellent at all that stuff. While most of Britain suffered, and I’m talking about Wales, Scotland, and everyone north of the Watford Gap, Thatcher and her pals were living the high life. A harlot.
Anyways what does this have to do with AC Smith and APW? Well, more than you think. Granted, this is an American based company but there are vast, vast similarities. It’s called the status quo, and I’m not on about the three-chorded inane drivel of a band, funnily enough also from the eighties. No, I’m talking about something greater than that. Take a look around APW. The championships that there are on offer, and mainly the APW World and Undisputed Heavyweight Championships. The former was won by Keaton Saint and then immediately by Michael Callahan. Talk about taking advantage when the numbers were down. I dunno who booked the damn match in the first place but sticking a weak Phil Aitken in a fight with Keaton Saint just a week before Rasslemania, the very event Callahan was the number one contender at for? Seems all too convenient for me. Callahan defeated his opponent, obviously starstruck at managing to win the damn thing at such short notice and lost. And then we have Mr. Terry Marvin, who has conspired his way through title defences ever since he got his hands on the bloody belt. Then what happens? Oh, the ol’ switcheroo. Get “T-Marv” the hell away from Overdrive when he’s exhausted beating hand-picked opponents and used up all his trump cards and when the only people left are legitimate contenders for his belt, and then start the process all over again on Asylum. Nice one, I look forward to getting my title shot in 2022. The World title is no different, with Callahan fluking his way through a farce of a defence against Delikado last week. Don’t expect things to change, folks. When the bigwigs are running the show trying to challenge them doesn’t bode well.
So AC Smith, what does this all have to do with you? Well it has something to do with the belt around your waist. Or on your shoulder, however the hell you like to hold it. The Xtreme Title. The belt I have a title shot for. And again, I’m jerking the curtain. But that’s fine. That’s okay. The fact is the Costa Rican army is going to see an opening like they’ve never seen it before! Two men who have been ALL around the world and done it. Immensely popular, and I’m particularly big in these parts, going at it hammer and tong. And any other weapons you can find. Whatever. But the Xtreme Title and Thatcher. The “Great APW Championship Conspiracy”. And why would a guy who’s as popular as AC Smith decide to align forces with the Axis of Ev-I mean Conservative Par-I mean, the title conspiracy? Well favours get you so far. I’ve been doing a little bit of history of my own, since you decided to BORE me with statistics about who won the belt when and why the belt was won and how. Big whoop. You’ve had the belt for a while, sure, but it’s when I dissect your competition that makes me curious as to how you’ve managed to keep your belt for so long. Well, I don’t have to dissect it much, it’s pretty obvious that you’ve been allowed to fight mediocre opposition for the duration of your reign.
“But gee Dan, I think you’re being a bit paranoid there. AC Smith is loved by all and can do no wrong”. Well that’s the idea! And AC Smith himself might not even know it but if he’s as boring as his recent shenanigans suggest, he’s the perfect image. Someone in the upper echelons, high in the heavens of APW clearly knows what image the company is going for. Let’s look at those exact “shenanigans” Mr. Smith took on recently, shall we? Why, it’s a golf tournament! And what’s golf? But of course, the sport of conservative thinking people! Mr. Smith goes to a golf tournament. Priceless. You couldn’t make it up, could you? A Republican politician in Callahan, a coward in Terry Marvin and a golf fan in AC Smith, and they are but three of your APW champions. If that doesn’t smell farce then I’m not sure what does! But tomorrow night, you’ve got a challenge and a half on your side! You see I faced Legion a couple of times, and the first time I was conspired into defeat by him and Delikado, who pretty much double teamed me. And I lost. But last week, he and the puppet masters couldn’t hold me down. I won the match, I’m going for your belt and I don’t really care if people are going to turn on me and go “well you didn’t want it when you didn’t have it”. Fuck it, sometimes a belt means more than being a champion. It’s about what it represents. And having someone like me having the representation of a Hardcore division would epitomise a greater message than this damn promo could.
He pauses, taking a big, long sip of his beer, before easing his shoulders and looking more rested.
Dan White: Let’s not talk politics anymore. Let’s talk about our match, then. “The Welsh Dragon” Dan White against “The Big Apple Asskicker” AC Smith. Quite the nickname you have there, buddy. But two people that are clearly very comfortable about representing their home, and I think that’s very important. Just the attitude Thatcher would have hat-I’m sorry I won’t do it again.
Cheesy grin for a second, followed by Serious face.
Dan White: Yeah, I might have disrespected the belt you have around your belt, but that’s because it didn’t serve a purpose to me. Now, I have quite the desire for it for reasons mentioned. To say I insulted you may be close to the mark but let’s face it AC Slater, that’s Wrestling One-Oh-One. It got into your head though, didn’t it? Were there doubts? Were you thinking to yourself that “hang on, maybe Dan’s right! Maybe my reign is the most pathetic thing people have ever seen on Overdrive”. Well Mr. Smith, don’t be too hard on yourself. It actually isn’t that bad. I mean you but a washed up Lively a couple of times including at Rasslemania, and you beat a fat postcode of a man in Buckson Gooch as well. That’s impressive! Stick it on your CV, or resume, whatever Americans call it. Thank your friends for such an illustrious reign.
And yeah, maybe the title is a means to an end but isn’t all of this? Would you be doing this job if it barely got you by and after your travel and sleeping expenses you had a handful of dollars to last you the day? Fuck off would you. You get to the top in this business and you reap the rewards. Just like any other business out there. The people who criticise about how little nurses and soldiers get paid compared to top sports stars but then go out and cheer and idolise those sports stars instead. And they deserve it anyways to be fair. Have you ever seen a nurse pitch a perfect no-hitter? But you could probably teach the average baseball player to stick in a catheter and take some blood samples. Oops, a truthism there. And I’m supposed to be the good guy in this game. Hmm.
But of course money is a factor. But to get money you have to create success. Of course I’m passionate about this damn sport, and everything that comes with it. I love getting cheered, I love meeting fans and seeing little kids tell me that they pretend to be me when they wrestle on their trampolines. That stuff is all wicked and it’s a massive reason why I came back. Yeah I like the pay I’m getting, it’s bigger than my pundit work but there has to be passion there otherwise I’ll just be turfed off like all the other of your opponents that were too pathetic to draw heat. But it’s not the be all and end all, no way. I’ve never been brought up that way. That’s not the kind of life I ever envisioned and living that way would make me a massive hypocrite considering my earlier political views. No. But you can become obsessed by it and if you’re always good then you’re always going to get a reaction, good or bad. I’ve always been damn good at this sport. FACT.
You are not going to get a simple fight come tomorrow night. I’ve been there, done that and bought the bloody t-shirt but that doesn’t stop from what I want. You think I’d bother with Hardcore matches if I didn’t care about anything other than fame and money? I’m not a prostitute, I don’t do anything for money. But I will do anything to get what I want. I will go the distance, and you are going to get a MASSIVE fucking surprise when that bell rings.
Dan pauses, to stop himself getting more worked up, and takes a sip of his drink. He then has the tiniest of smirks to himself as his brain processes his thoughts.
Dan White: Change is on the cards, and it’s going to rock APW from its foundations, right up into it’s “Mate’s Rates” con of a director’s board. Instead of going for my usual catchphrases, I think it’s only appropriate that here, in Central America, home of fighting for the people, that I take on their universal catchphrase.
Fade out…
The scene opens up in San Jose, Costa Rica. In Justice Square to be precise. The weather is predictably fantastic for this time of year in the Central American nation, hitting about 23 degrees and feeling just a little bit humid. Better than the four degrees suffered in the United Kingdom recently. Dan and Sgt. Pilko, his younger brother are stood opposite the square’s most famous statue, the “Tradition, Stability and Justice” monument that dominates the landscape. And yeah, I did Wikipedia that because I’m not as clued up on my Costa Rican landmarks than I’d like to be.
It’s a thought-provoking statue, and Dan and his brother gaze at it, resting against a fence. It’s a nice break from the constant travel professional wrestling brings to one, and boxing scouting brings to the other.
Dan White: It’s powerful to look at, isn’t it.
Sgt. Pilko: Yeah it is. All those…shapes…
He might be one for catching a talented boxer, but Pilko doesn’t quite have the philosophical edge out of the duo when it comes to abstract art.
Dan White: Panama was a bit of a success all round, then?
Sgt. Pilko: Aye man, got a couple of agent’s numbers. Some canny talent in that country, like. Beautiful place as well, shame there wasn’t much to do.
Dan White: Aye but a lot of these countries are like that. Fantastic places though. You’d think with all the war and stuff these countries would be dangerous to breach into. Then again it’s not like we’re going into Honduras or El Salvador.
Sgt. Pilko: Or Wales.
Dan ignores his brother’s comments, and the duo stand, watching the world go by. People watching, it’s a very pleasurable thing sometimes. A mostly innocent voyeuristic event enjoyed by almost everyone.
Sgt. Pilko: Reckon you’ll win on Thursday then?
Dan White: Aye I think so. AC Smith, saw his match at Rasslemania and it wasn’t the most impressive thing in the world. Then again those kind of matches are.
Sgt. Pilko: Hardcore?
Dan White: Triple Threat.
Dan still going on about that damn dark match from APW’s flagship event.
Dan White: They’re always solid to win, and you basically have to take an advantage at the right time. Everyone always falls on the ground, you just have to hope when someone does, you’re the one in the best position to take the win. Doesn’t matter, anyone could win a Triple Threat. God damn I hate those types of matches.
Sgt. Pilko: Hardcore matches are the same though, and I’d know more than you.
Dan turns to Pilko, raising an eyebrow.
Sgt. Pilko: Howay I would! I was always in those divisions whenever I wrestled! It’s true though, you have to take an advantage of a lucky situation. If we were fighting each other, it’d basically be who could find the biggest weapon first would win. Where’s the tactics there?
Dan White: So basically you’re saying that you’re tactically inept and you could only win in a Hardcore division cos you’d pick up the biggest thing like a club and caveman-style it on your way to winning?
Sgt. Pilko: Fuck off! I’d kick your arse in a street fight any day of the week! Let’s go now, I’d put that stupid stone ball through your head!
Dan White: Whatever boyo! You never beat me!
Sgt. Pilko: Aye I fucking did! I’ve beaten you plenty of times.
They leave their quarrel in an awkward, angry silence, turning away from each other and continuing to watch the world pass them. A stunning lady walks past, suited up with the finest fashion brands, although a closer look would suggest that she’s sporting fakes. Even so, it’s interesting and to some people perhaps unsettling how much the “Western World” has influenced areas like here, particularly in a region that witnessed countless occasions of the people overruling the national government. And it leads us on to our next topic, with the brothers still refusing to look at each other.
Sgt. Pilko: Thatcher’s dead then.
Dan White: Aye. Ding dong, the witch is dead. I mean I’m not gonna celebrate a death, not like the street parties at home but what she did to where I’m from and where you’re from…nah, I’m not accepting that. Hated the old cunt. But yeah she’s 87. Whatever. She’s had a life and she was able to live it how she wanted it.
Sgt. Pilko: And her mates.
Dan White: And her mates. The whole thing royally pisses me off and the more I think about it the more I can’t stand it. Just the Conservatives in general. What they did to Wales in Aberfan and to Tryweryn. Fuck them.
Sgt. Pilko: Aye. Come up North, come to Durham. It’s shocking what she did to our area.
Dan White: It is, but I plan on talking about that later. Not in the mood for it at the moment. She was scum, let’s leave it at that.
Sgt. Pilko: Fair enough. What do you think of AC Smith then?
Dan White: He’s nothing to me.
Sgt. Pilko: Ohhhhhh Viennnnnaaaaa
This prompts a bit of a chuckle from the Welsh Dragon, who manages to shake it off.
Dan White: He’s had that title for a while and fair play to him. Schedule’s been kind to him though. As a person though I’m right. He’s nothing to me. We’ve come together to have a scrap, it’s not like we challenged each other. Just the way whoever decides the matches has decided. He’s a popular fella like, but I’m popular around these parts as well. I dunno though, I think I have what it takes to beat him.
Sgt. Pilko: You’ve got a poor record against people bigger than you, though.
Dan White: Oh piss off with your winding up.
Sgt. Pilko: It’s true though! I have to work with statisticians and one guy had done some wrestling stuff. Reeled through some old, famous names and your propped up. Said you only ever won twenty three per cent of people that were more than ten pounds heavier than you. That speaks volumes, that does.
Dan White: Aye but that’s all bollocks as well. Most of my career I was a young whippet who spoke big billy bollocks and got in trouble for it. Like that ten on one handicap match I had? Apart from the lasses they were all bigger than me so that’s gonna skew up the results, isn’t it?
Sgt. Pilko: Even so, it’s something to think about eh. You’ll have to do your homework against this lad, unlike your opponent you’ve had so many breaks in wrestling you’re like Stephen Hendry.
I bet that snooker reference falls on deaf ears, but whatever.
Dan White: …pint?
Sgt. Pilko: Aye, if you can find a bar.
And so our conversation between the brothers ends as it normally does, with a quest to find a local pub. Hopefully it does local ale, mine’s a cask.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
San Jose, 10th April 2013
The evening after the morning after the night before. And it wasn’t actually too messy. A few drinks downtown, talking to any locals that could speak slurred English, and then a few more in the hotel before heading off to bed. Pilko is away acquiring some more boxing contracts, and White is free to sit in the hotel and sip a beer, as our camera fades in.
The hotel is somewhat basically, with white walls and wooden panelling a distinctive feature both in 1970s bars and in 2010s Costa Rica. Regardless it tastes okay and it supplies Dan with the fuel he needs to get through a nice big hearty rant.
Game on.
Dan White: Margaret Thatcher died on Monday. And as a member of the lower or working class I could not have been happier. To see family friends be completely stripped of their livelihoods shattered by her heartless policies and entire communities decimated by her beliefs. People literally died. Well, they weren’t executed or anything like that but their quality of life was torn to the point that stubborn grown men, miners from the age of fourteen, felt so gutted and so ashamed of not being able to contribute for their family killed themselves. Others went destitute. Community spirit is something you see strong in the United States. I might not like your sports but I do admire your ability to get sixty thousand people for a university match. Most unis in the UK would be lucky to get above ten people coming to watch. Now we never had that as such but we had a community spirit like none other. The British attitude towards life was a very positive one, and that’s well documented throughout history. Having a stiff upper lip, the Dunkirk spirit, and our ability to live and prosper under a local society. A community.
Thatcher took that away and while I’m not here to make some ludicrous hate-fuelled political speech largely manufactured to get some cheap heat like the World champion Michael Callahan does, I feel that from the heart this needs to be spoken about. And there’s a point to all this, I’ll get to it in a moment. But let’s look at me for the short while. I’m now in my thirties, and I’ve managed to make a bit of a name for myself. Granted, I recently went and got into a little bit of debt, just a touch, but I’m generally okay and where I’ve come from, I’ve really done well for myself. Aye, the seventies sucked in a few ways in Britain but then you have someone come along like Margaret Thatcher, someone who sadly will be revered around the world for the fact that she has a minge and her foreign policy. She was good a sucking up. She was good at making sure her mates remained in power, including Saddam and the pro-Apartheid South African government. And she was good at doing that at home as well. She was good at making sure her Eton and Harrow pals got stronger and richer, and she helped her banker friends by allowing them to take the obscene bonuses that came under the greatest of scrutinies this recession. She was excellent at all that stuff. While most of Britain suffered, and I’m talking about Wales, Scotland, and everyone north of the Watford Gap, Thatcher and her pals were living the high life. A harlot.
Anyways what does this have to do with AC Smith and APW? Well, more than you think. Granted, this is an American based company but there are vast, vast similarities. It’s called the status quo, and I’m not on about the three-chorded inane drivel of a band, funnily enough also from the eighties. No, I’m talking about something greater than that. Take a look around APW. The championships that there are on offer, and mainly the APW World and Undisputed Heavyweight Championships. The former was won by Keaton Saint and then immediately by Michael Callahan. Talk about taking advantage when the numbers were down. I dunno who booked the damn match in the first place but sticking a weak Phil Aitken in a fight with Keaton Saint just a week before Rasslemania, the very event Callahan was the number one contender at for? Seems all too convenient for me. Callahan defeated his opponent, obviously starstruck at managing to win the damn thing at such short notice and lost. And then we have Mr. Terry Marvin, who has conspired his way through title defences ever since he got his hands on the bloody belt. Then what happens? Oh, the ol’ switcheroo. Get “T-Marv” the hell away from Overdrive when he’s exhausted beating hand-picked opponents and used up all his trump cards and when the only people left are legitimate contenders for his belt, and then start the process all over again on Asylum. Nice one, I look forward to getting my title shot in 2022. The World title is no different, with Callahan fluking his way through a farce of a defence against Delikado last week. Don’t expect things to change, folks. When the bigwigs are running the show trying to challenge them doesn’t bode well.
So AC Smith, what does this all have to do with you? Well it has something to do with the belt around your waist. Or on your shoulder, however the hell you like to hold it. The Xtreme Title. The belt I have a title shot for. And again, I’m jerking the curtain. But that’s fine. That’s okay. The fact is the Costa Rican army is going to see an opening like they’ve never seen it before! Two men who have been ALL around the world and done it. Immensely popular, and I’m particularly big in these parts, going at it hammer and tong. And any other weapons you can find. Whatever. But the Xtreme Title and Thatcher. The “Great APW Championship Conspiracy”. And why would a guy who’s as popular as AC Smith decide to align forces with the Axis of Ev-I mean Conservative Par-I mean, the title conspiracy? Well favours get you so far. I’ve been doing a little bit of history of my own, since you decided to BORE me with statistics about who won the belt when and why the belt was won and how. Big whoop. You’ve had the belt for a while, sure, but it’s when I dissect your competition that makes me curious as to how you’ve managed to keep your belt for so long. Well, I don’t have to dissect it much, it’s pretty obvious that you’ve been allowed to fight mediocre opposition for the duration of your reign.
“But gee Dan, I think you’re being a bit paranoid there. AC Smith is loved by all and can do no wrong”. Well that’s the idea! And AC Smith himself might not even know it but if he’s as boring as his recent shenanigans suggest, he’s the perfect image. Someone in the upper echelons, high in the heavens of APW clearly knows what image the company is going for. Let’s look at those exact “shenanigans” Mr. Smith took on recently, shall we? Why, it’s a golf tournament! And what’s golf? But of course, the sport of conservative thinking people! Mr. Smith goes to a golf tournament. Priceless. You couldn’t make it up, could you? A Republican politician in Callahan, a coward in Terry Marvin and a golf fan in AC Smith, and they are but three of your APW champions. If that doesn’t smell farce then I’m not sure what does! But tomorrow night, you’ve got a challenge and a half on your side! You see I faced Legion a couple of times, and the first time I was conspired into defeat by him and Delikado, who pretty much double teamed me. And I lost. But last week, he and the puppet masters couldn’t hold me down. I won the match, I’m going for your belt and I don’t really care if people are going to turn on me and go “well you didn’t want it when you didn’t have it”. Fuck it, sometimes a belt means more than being a champion. It’s about what it represents. And having someone like me having the representation of a Hardcore division would epitomise a greater message than this damn promo could.
He pauses, taking a big, long sip of his beer, before easing his shoulders and looking more rested.
Dan White: Let’s not talk politics anymore. Let’s talk about our match, then. “The Welsh Dragon” Dan White against “The Big Apple Asskicker” AC Smith. Quite the nickname you have there, buddy. But two people that are clearly very comfortable about representing their home, and I think that’s very important. Just the attitude Thatcher would have hat-I’m sorry I won’t do it again.
Cheesy grin for a second, followed by Serious face.
Dan White: Yeah, I might have disrespected the belt you have around your belt, but that’s because it didn’t serve a purpose to me. Now, I have quite the desire for it for reasons mentioned. To say I insulted you may be close to the mark but let’s face it AC Slater, that’s Wrestling One-Oh-One. It got into your head though, didn’t it? Were there doubts? Were you thinking to yourself that “hang on, maybe Dan’s right! Maybe my reign is the most pathetic thing people have ever seen on Overdrive”. Well Mr. Smith, don’t be too hard on yourself. It actually isn’t that bad. I mean you but a washed up Lively a couple of times including at Rasslemania, and you beat a fat postcode of a man in Buckson Gooch as well. That’s impressive! Stick it on your CV, or resume, whatever Americans call it. Thank your friends for such an illustrious reign.
And yeah, maybe the title is a means to an end but isn’t all of this? Would you be doing this job if it barely got you by and after your travel and sleeping expenses you had a handful of dollars to last you the day? Fuck off would you. You get to the top in this business and you reap the rewards. Just like any other business out there. The people who criticise about how little nurses and soldiers get paid compared to top sports stars but then go out and cheer and idolise those sports stars instead. And they deserve it anyways to be fair. Have you ever seen a nurse pitch a perfect no-hitter? But you could probably teach the average baseball player to stick in a catheter and take some blood samples. Oops, a truthism there. And I’m supposed to be the good guy in this game. Hmm.
But of course money is a factor. But to get money you have to create success. Of course I’m passionate about this damn sport, and everything that comes with it. I love getting cheered, I love meeting fans and seeing little kids tell me that they pretend to be me when they wrestle on their trampolines. That stuff is all wicked and it’s a massive reason why I came back. Yeah I like the pay I’m getting, it’s bigger than my pundit work but there has to be passion there otherwise I’ll just be turfed off like all the other of your opponents that were too pathetic to draw heat. But it’s not the be all and end all, no way. I’ve never been brought up that way. That’s not the kind of life I ever envisioned and living that way would make me a massive hypocrite considering my earlier political views. No. But you can become obsessed by it and if you’re always good then you’re always going to get a reaction, good or bad. I’ve always been damn good at this sport. FACT.
You are not going to get a simple fight come tomorrow night. I’ve been there, done that and bought the bloody t-shirt but that doesn’t stop from what I want. You think I’d bother with Hardcore matches if I didn’t care about anything other than fame and money? I’m not a prostitute, I don’t do anything for money. But I will do anything to get what I want. I will go the distance, and you are going to get a MASSIVE fucking surprise when that bell rings.
Dan pauses, to stop himself getting more worked up, and takes a sip of his drink. He then has the tiniest of smirks to himself as his brain processes his thoughts.
Dan White: Change is on the cards, and it’s going to rock APW from its foundations, right up into it’s “Mate’s Rates” con of a director’s board. Instead of going for my usual catchphrases, I think it’s only appropriate that here, in Central America, home of fighting for the people, that I take on their universal catchphrase.
-~-|VIVA LA REVOLUCIÓN|-~-
Fade out…
