Lady Overdrive Vol. 1: Dancing With the Stars

[Evan De Parker]

"You make me feel like dancin'."

Dearest Steve,

As I'm sure you're more than aware, the two of us are scheduled to participate in a good ol' fashioned Costa Rican tango this week. I couldn't be happier, and I couldn't think of anybody that I would rather dance with, upon the gorgeous, golden sands of South America.

I know what you're thinking! "Gee, Evan, what an honor! Out of all of the prominent potential contenders, most of which have far more skill and technique than myself, you chose little ol' me." I know, I know. In retrospect, it might've looked better on my part had I challenged somebody such as Level One, or my tag team partner Delikado... Hell, maybe even World Champ Callahan himself. How would THAT have been for ratings? Grand. It would've been grand.

But that's not where we are. Not on April 11th.

This week, Steve, you dance with a star.

Not necessarily because you deserve it or because your performances have warranted it-- but because you've asked for this. You've begged for this. You chased me for months. Harassed me. STALKED me, even!

And for what, exactly?

Do the things I say unnerve you? GOOD! Does the way I carry myself upset you? Worry about yourself! Worry about YOU, Steve.

...Or is it the obvious? Is it the fact that you've never defeated me? Is it because I did my job back on August 26th and helped you become the shortest-reigning champion in Action Packed Wrestling history? Is it because I exposed you and helped confirm what many have believed all along?

It doesn't matter. It started in Los Angeles. It ends in San Josè. THAT is what I care about, Steve. The end. The finale. The last dance.

...And the pretty young thing on my arm:

Lady Overdrive; something recognized previously as the APW Overdrive Championship.

She's my permanent tango partner. She's my confidant. She's my sun. My moon. And you have the nerve to look at her with lustful intent... Staring. Gawking. And I've seen you. I saw it last week. I saw your invasive eyes. And I can't blame you. I know what it's like to have love and lose it. Sadly, I know what it's like to not have that love reciprocated. And with all these things taken into consideration, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Lady Overdrive no longer has eyes for you. It's me.

It's JUST me.

She’s the last thing I see before I go to bed and the first thing I see when I wake up every morning-- and that’s not changing anytime soon. I’ve grown fond of her, and she’s grown fond of me. The thought of seeing her with another man drives me insane, as you could imagine. After all, you’ve had her, only to lose her, not one, but twice. Two times you’ve let her slip away, and that’s a pain that I could never bear to even imagine. I shudder to think of what it feels like, to watch her sway and groove with somebody else every single night, instead of with me. It scares me to imagine walking without feeling her touch. I don’t envy you.

And by the time you get this letter, I’m sure you’ll already have spoken your piece before our dance this week. However, I can imagine it now... Like any self-respecting man, maybe you’ll pretend that you don’t love her anymore-- and that you don’t need her. You might tell yourself that the only thing that matters is getting your hands around my... My scrawny little neck... And twisting... And hurting me... And breaking me... And that’s the only thing you have eyes for. My health.

And I might’ve believed that a few months ago, Steven, but then I held her in my arms for the first time and I knew that there wasn’t a man, and maybe even a woman in the world, that wouldn’t want her. Maybe I got a little protective. Perhaps I reacted a little bit negatively last week when I saw you looking. On that same token, perhaps if you had reacted that way when Biggs was looking at her in 2009, she’d still be with you today, but that isn’t where we are, either. He took her from you. You didn’t deserve her. You didn’t appreciate her.

You’re a talented athlete, Steve, and despite my complete and total lack of respect for you as a human being, it would be absolutely wrong for me to neglect that fact. You dance as well as some of the best in APW. Maybe even better than some of them, you know?

But from now on... When it comes to Lady Overdrive... When you dance, you dance alone, motherfucker. And far, far away from my girl.

I understand that you’re more than capable of beating me, and that’s fine, but that’s not going to be the case on Thursday night. I’m not Slade Craven-- My judgment isn’t being clouded by jealousy, or rage, or even enmity. I have a very clear, very real understanding of what’s going on this Thursday. I understand that I have to protect the love of my life, and defend her from a 300-pound monster named Shadow. I know from experience that it isn’t a walk in the park, and I know that even after our last dance, people will still be looking; people like CJ Gates and people like your new friend, Buckson Gooch, whom, by the way, WILL be dealt with.

Do you understand how far I’m willing to go to protect what I love though? I mean, do you really grasp what could happen to you out there on Thursday?

Let me ask you this: What do you do when you walk away from the National Stadium empty-handed? Where do you go from there? And-- what reason will you have to hate me after that?

No. Don’t answer. There will be reasons aplenty. It’s easy to hate a beast. It’s easy to hate the guy that has the girl everybody wants. But what reason will you have to chase me, or my lady?

I mean... Not only did I give you a one-on-one match, but I gave you a shot at Lady Overdrive. I gave you MORE than you’ve earned, and if you can’t find a way to win, then you’re all out of excuses. You’ll no longer have any right to look at Lady Overdrive, NOR will you have a right to look in my direction. Ever.

You’re at a point where you almost have to win this week, Steve, to be taken seriously as a contender, but you won’t. You could, and you’re capable, but you won’t, because I won’t let that happen under any circumstances. This isn’t ABOUT Shadow becoming a three-time Overdrive Champion. This is about me proving that without doubt, I’m the King of Overdrive.

And she is my Queen.

And you have no place here. Not with us. Never... Never with us.

So one last time, Steve, I’ll be your dancing partner this week. I’ll move with you. I’ll sway with you. I’ll do everything I need to do-- and I’m sure you will too-- to make sure that this main event is among the best in Overdrive history. It’s our last dance. Let’s make it count.

But step on my toes, Steven, and I’ll break your legs.

Sincerely,
Evan Envi, K.O.D.

*****

”Can I help?”

Though the words of Jenny Knite greet us through darkness, we blink into color seconds afterward as we see Evan Envi licking the adhesive of an envelope, looking up at her behind the frames of his glasses. He arches an eyebrow in mild confusion and seals the envelope, offering little more than a shrug in response for a few seconds, before finally answering-- once he feels that his tongue has once again been sufficiently moisturized.

”I mean-- it only takes one guy to seal an envelope. Maybe next time, eh?”

Evan is seated at the kitchen table of his San Jose hotel suite, and Jenny Knite stands a few feet away, in front of the stove where a mystery substance is reaching a boil beneath the lid of a pot.

”I wanna help this week.”

Evan slaps his hands on the tabletop and sighs, but gives his manager a coy smile all the same.

”You know what this about.”

”It’s about you and Shadow.”

”Yes. And I don’t really--”

”And you don’t want controversy. You don’t want him to be able to come back and lay some sort of claim to your neck-- or the Overdrive Title.”

Evan visibly flinches as Jenny refers to the championship as such.

”That isn’t what she’s called.”

Jenny looks confused for a moment, but her eyes widen a bit and she nods.

”Right. You don’t want him to come back and lay claim to Lady Overdrive.”

”Correct. You’re smarter than you look, Jen.”

”But I want to help.”

”You’re helping. You’re helping me by staying in the back and making sure everybody is watching when I win in the main event. Again.”

”Evan, I--”

Evan raises his index finger and hushes her, shaking his head.

”You helped a lot last week. Don’t push it, Jen.”

”I mean-- I think I should at least be out there.”

”Is that what you think?”

”Yes!”

”No.”

”But, Evan--!”

Evan groans loudly and pushes his chair away from the table, successfully creating a dull, scraping noise against the tile. He gestures toward the living room.

”Grab my gym bag, and I’ll explain something to you.”

Jenny looks at him for a moment, her arms folded over her chest in a classic combination of defiance and frustration. For a moment, she continues to stand there, tapping her foot impatiently... But she spins on her heel and marches into the suite’s living room as she’s told. It only takes a few seconds for her to return. She doesn’t have the gym bag, and Evan smiles when he realizes that she’s cut straight to the chase-- carrying the APW Overdrive Championship in her hands, with the carefulness and matriarchal protectiveness that Evan would hope she possessed.

”You’re brilliant. You knew. Give her to me!”

Evan holds out his arms as if he’s delicately accepting a newborn into his hands. Jenny lowers the Overdrive Title belt into his arms and he immediately hugs it to his chest, smirking up at her.

”This is everything. Do you understand? She’s everything.”

Jenny looks from the title, to Evan, to the title again, and then back up to meet Evan’s eyes.

”Is Michelle as jealous of ‘Lady Overdrive’ as I am?”

Evan scoffs. ”I haven’t introduced them. I don’t even want to deal with that situation.”

Jenny smiles and glides back toward the stove, lifting the lid, beginning to stir the mysterious substance-- which we can now see is some sort of vegetable soup. ”Maybe you should. If she can’t accept your-- Lady Overdrive, then she can’t accept you. Right?”

Evan ponders it for a moment, looking idly off into the distance.

”Maybe.”

”You think you’re gonna beat him, right?” Her question earns a sharp glance from Evan, who whips his head in her direction. Jenny smiles faintly again, and adds, ”Shadow.”

”I know who you mean... And of course I do. I wouldn’t have demanded the match if I didn’t think I was going to win.”

”Never stopped you before.” She smirks as she sees Evan’s face begin to mildly contort as he begins to ponder what she’s said. ”But I think you will too.”

”Good. You’re paid to think that.”

”And to make it happen.”

Evan sighs and rolls his eyes.

”I told you, I--”

”Yes, I know, you want to do it by yourself. You wanna embarrass Shadow. You--”

”Jenny, you don’t get it, just like Duvall probably doesn’t get it. Just like Steve Ryback doesn’t get it. This isn’t about embarrassing Shadow, or proving anything to Shadow. It’s about getting him off my back. ENDING this blood-feud. ESTABLISHING MY DOMINANCE at the TOP of the Overdrive food chain.”

For a few seconds, Jenny doesn’t say anything. She continues to stir the contents of the pot and then places the lid on top again, turning the burner down to a lower level. Evan’s eyes briefly drift toward the shrinking flame.

”Do you think things would be the same if Terry Marvin was still on Overdrive?”

”Don’t you fucking dare speak his name again.”

The response causes Jenny to quite literally recoil, taking a step back from Evan.

”Alright. I’m sorry.”

Evan sighs and rests his head in his hand, leaning on the table as he gazes up at her. ”Michelle’s probably gonna be here soon.”

”Oh.”

Her tone is dry-- and this time, Evan is the one that is nearly forced to recoil. Panicked, he pushes himself to his feet, gently placing Lady Overdrive down on the tabletop before turning to meet Jenny Knite’s gaze once more.

”I’m just say--”

”Want me to leave?”

”What?! No!”

”She doesn’t like me.”

Evan laughs, nervously and shakes his head. ”How could you say that? She barely knows you!”

”She doesn’t like how I spend so much time with you.”

”You’re my agent, Jen-- and my manager. If she has a problem with you, then I’m guessing she has a problem with my career. And the way I run things.”

He turns and gestures toward Lady Overdrive as she lies face-up on the table.

”And a problem with her too.”

”And what if she does? What if she DOES have a problem with me, and your career, and the Overdrive Cha--”

”Ah-ah-ahhh!”

Jenny clears her throat. ”And Lady Overdrive.”

Evan bellows a deep, hearty laugh. It catches Jenny off-guard and she looks away, shrugging.

”If she does, what do you do? Do you cut her loose?”

From here, Evan’s smile begins to fade. He looks down at the face of Lady Overdrive again. He moves his finger across the hardwood tabletop and moves it to the championship belt, running a single finger over the nameplate, smiling with satisfaction as he finger runs over each individual marking-- each of the eight letters in his name.

”Why are you so interested in my relationship?”

Jenny crosses her arms and looks elsewhere, shrugging... Shrugging a few times, really. It’s a situation where Jenny knew that she didn’t have a good answer-- or at least one that anybody with a shred of respect would care to hear.

”I’m your agent. I’m interested in everything you do.” She points a finger in the direction of Lady Overdrive. ”Everything. And if you feel that you need to defend it, then I want to be there with you. I won’t touch him, Ev. I won’t do anything to interfere. I promise.”

Evan smirks again.

”Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK!

Jenny casts a wide-eyed glance to the door, and it’s damn-near impossible to miss the color draining from her face. Evan laughs upon seeing it and moves past her, out into the living room to answer the door.

”You’ll be fine.”

Unsurely, and weakly, Jenny responds with, ”okay” and watches in anticipation as Evan pulls the door open.

*****

Our camera pans over to the digital clock attached to the stove and oven of suite’s kitchen inside of our Costa Rican paradise. It reads 11:48 P.M.

We cut to the outside world where Evan Envi is reclining on the balcony, looking out across the normally-golden sands that are dyed a deep shade of blue due to the evening sky. He is dressed in little more than a dark-colored wifebeater and shorts, clutching a bottle of Corona in his left hand, kicking at misplaced grains of sand with his bare feet, watching as they sail off of the balcony, only to be caught in the wind and whisked away into obscurity.

He looks down at Lady Overdrive as she lies across his lap, looking back up at him. Gleaming. Shining. Smiling. He runs his fingers over the face of the championship before he slowly arches his head up, looking through the sliding glass door, into the kitchen where Michelle and Jenny are on opposite sides of the table, deeply engaged in a conversation.

Becoming briefly disenchanted with the two walking, breathing females in his life, Evans smile only returns as he looks down at the one: Lady Overdrive.

”They’re jealous of you... You know that? They’re really jealous. Don’t take anything they say too seriously.” He chuckles. ”Women, right? They can be clueless.”

He takes a long sip of the beer, but opens his eyes as he realizes what he’s said. He places the beer down on the balcony table and pulls Lady Overdrive closer, embracing her in a tight hug.

”I didn’t mean any offense by that. It’s just--”

He catches himself again and his words fade into a silent, and smug grin.

”Why am I telling you? You know what I meant. You knew what I’d say, and what I’d do... And that’s why you’re perfect. Y’know?” With that, Evan quickly devours the remainder of the Corona.

”Evan, who are you talking to?”

Evan looks in awe down at the face of the championship, though the realization occurs after a few seconds that the voice is coming from his left. He glances to the sliding door, just in time to see Michelle Weaver stepping through, gently closing it behind her. She turns and smiles at Evan, making it a point to meander into his lap, but Evan gasps and hurriedly removes Lady Overdrive from his lap, lying it across the table.

”CAREFUL!”

Immediately, Michelle’s voice evolves from kind and pleasant to angry and accusatory.

”Were you talking to that fucking belt?!”

Evan grunts. ”That’s not what it’s called.”

”...Y-- you know what, whatever. We need to talk about something.”

”Such as?”

”Jenny.”

Evan’s face falls, somehow even more than it had fallen before.

”You don’t like her.”

”That isn’t what I said. Not in the slightest.”

”Then what do we need to talk about?” He glances longingly at Lady Overdrive, but ultimately decides against reaching for it.

”You. Your life. Your career... You’re giving a twenty-year-old girl a lot of responsibility, Evan.”

”And she loves it.”

”She loves you.”

”Well, yeah-- who doesn’t? YOU KNOW who I am!”

Michelle takes note of his slightly more voluminous approach and glances toward the third-dozen of empty beer bottles that are scattered across the balcony.

”No, Ev. She loves you. Imagine what you have going on with the Overdrive Title right now, and multiply that times thirty-four or so. THAT is how Jennifer Knite feels about you.”

Evan sighs and rolls his eyes. ”Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?”

”...You saw what happened to Kurt.”

Evan’s eyes grow wide and then he begins to chuckle at the statement.

”Yeah? That was Kurt. And Kylie. This has nothing to do with Jenny and me. It’s not the same situation.”

”I don’t wanna get hurt, Evan.”

”You’re not the one wrestling a three-hundred pound barbarian with a vendetta against--”

”I don’t want to get hurt.” She narrows her eyes at him, but turns and looks out into the ocean as she takes a seat in the other chair provided on the balcony. ”I know what happens to people in this business, and I know how carried away they get. Look at you and Shadow. This has gone too far-- and I don’t know where any of this stops. I don’t know what’s going through your head sometimes. I don’t want to know. I just want this to be over.”

”Me and Shadow? Or... Me and Jenny?”

Michelle doesn’t turn to look at Evan, but continues to watch the dark waves crash against the shore.

”Jenny told me what you call her. Or-- what you call it.”

Protectively, Evan hugs the belt closer to himself.

”Okay...”

Michelle nods, but much like the average viewer, Evan can’t distinguish why she’s nodding.

”You know that’s not healthy.”

”And you know that you don’t know as much about wrestling as you fucking think.”

Immediately, he gasps. He places Lady Overdrive on the table and looks at Michelle in fear. He feels his cheeks growing hot, and he sees her gaze narrow as she continues to look out to the shore.

”No, I mean--!”

”It doesn’t matter, Evan.” She looks down and raises an eyebrow. ”Seems like you have a lot going on in your life right now.”

He looks at her-- watching her not watching him.

”You have a lot on your plate.”

”I... Yeah...”

Her jaw tightens and it’s immediately evident that it wasn’t the answer Michelle had been hoping for.

”Where’s she going to stay tonight?”

Evan glances toward Lady Overdrive. ”In our room.”

”I mean Jenny. Not that-- that belt.”

”SHE’S NOT--” Upon meeting Michelle Weaver’s glare, Evan literally bites his tongue. He sighs. ”Jenny’s staying in our suite, in the other bedroom. Wherever I go with APW, she’s coming along.”

”Fine.”

”Is that an issue?”

”Nah.”

”What?”

”No.”

Evan nods a little and stares. He then nods to Lady Overdrive.

”Is that an issue?”

With that, Michelle closes her eyes and leans back in the chair.

For upwards of a minute, there isn’t a word spoken between the two. Michelle looks out at the waves, and soon, Evan does the same. He slides his bare heels across the balcony, making a game out of trying to kick at the single loose screw that protrudes slightly from one of the planks.

The artificial serenity is interrupted as Michelle slides her chair back and springs up to her feet.

”I’m gonna go to sleep.”

She doesn’t wait for an answer and moves around Evan, throwing open the sliding-glass door and stepping into the suite without closing it behind her. She disappears into the shadows as she strides toward the bedroom.

SLAM![/i][/size]

...That door, however, is slammed.

He waits.

For what-- it’s unclear. However, for minutes, in silence, Evan waits. He convinces himself that he’s waiting for many different things: For Michelle to stride back out and apologize, and invite Evan and Lady Overdrive back to bed.

He eventually manages to convince himself that soon, Jenny Knite will step out onto the balcony, bearing good news. Even bearing some bad news would provide Evan with the satisfaction of knowing that somebody else out there was having a miserable time.

But eventually, like any man, Evan stops waiting. He turns and climbs to his feet, allowing the fifth and final empty Corona bottle to fall to the ground. He smiles warily at Lady Overdrive, and hoists her up after a few moments, throwing her across his left shoulder, hugging her to his heart.

”Nobody’s taking you away from me. Not Michelle... Not Shadow...”

He casts one more look out into the black ocean and smiles down at the Lady one last time.

”Lookin’ like it’s gonna be a ‘sleep on the couch’ kind of night. Eh?”

With one more, longing look toward the emptiness and freedom of the ocean, Evan takes his lady and he steps inside shutting the glass door behind him, leaving us to fend for ourselves in the outside.

Dark.

"Never's just the echo of forever, lonesome as a love that might have been. Let me go on lovin' and believin' 'til it's over. Please don't tell me how the story ends."