Post by Level-Two on Apr 17, 2013 23:58:02 GMT -4
The Sindicate Presents...
LATE NIGHT SIN!
You the viewer is inundated with cheesy 80's theme music while the camera pans around the studio to an action packed crowd. After the tour is over and done with we find ourselves on the main set as smoke begins to bellow from the entrance way...
Ladies and gentlemen presenting your host... Lester ''Level-One'' Only!
The crowd cheers as the soon to be World Heavyweight Champion side shuffles through the entrance way wearing a fancy black suit, dress pants and dress shoes. With a microphone in hand he greets you with a smile.
Level One: ''Hello, I am Lester Only and today on the Late Night Sin special the Sindicate has decided to give back to you - our viewers! In conjunction with the APW we have found myself four potential competitors who will step in the ring with me on Thursday Night Overdrive and I have invited them here to tell YOU the people why they deserve your votes!''
Cue the cheers.
Level-One: ''So, let's get started shall we? Our first hopeful is a former APW Overdrive champion holding notable victories over Azreal Gorean, Evan Envi and Delikado. He's also rich and the ladies at home love him without further ado... come on out Mark Mania!''
The crowd stirs with excitement as the camera pans to one of the mystery doors but after several seconds it becomes apparent that nobody is behind the door. The crowd begins to grow frustrated as do you the viewer at home and the absent Mark Mania begins to draw heat from the crowd.
Level-One: ''I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen. My producer Kia LeWinter has informed me that Mark Mania wasn't able to show up tonight citing the fact that Mark Mania really needs and I quote; ‘’A fucking pedicure!’’ Well, I can't say I can judge him after all I've never walked a day in his high heels before...''
BA DUM DUM!
Level-One: ''Well, while Mark Mania is making sure his toe nails are clipped at an equal length let me just tell you that a vote for Mark Mania is a vote for success! I mean, come on... growing up as a trust fund baby must have been so hard! He went to the best schools, dated the prettiest girls and was a wrestling jock - can you imagine how miserable his life must have been!? I mean his parents must have expected SO much out of their son, Mark... but then after becoming a drunkard and calling himself Crazy Joe all he ever amounted to was a lowly Overdrive champion.''
The sad story of Mark Mania draws a pathetic awe from both you the viewer and the live crowd - even Lester curls his lip to so him how much he cares.
Level-One: ''Mark Mania deserves better than this people! At dinner last night he order sparkling champagne and there wasn't enough sparkling going on goddamnit! The day before? He ordered a CHEESE pizza and the asshole at the counter gave him extra cheese! Can you people believe that!? Ugh. Idiots! Please, it's your DUTY to be a good American and vote for Mark Mania!''
You roll your eyes along with the rest of the world as a large spotlight shines down on door number two.
Level-One: ''The next competitor is known more for his bad hygiene then his mediocre ring work - he hails from a trailer park shed in Possumgrape Arkansas his name is... Buckson Gooch!''
The door opens up and the uncoordinated bozo comes stumbling through the mystery door to the disgust of the crowd - all of which whom reach behind their chairs and grab a white medical facemask as if he was infected with SARS. They clap their hands as the Buckson Gooch look-alike stumbles down the flight of stairs and joins Level-One on stage.
Level-One: Buckson, I am glad you could make it here today! On Thursday Night, you will be given an opportunity to step in the ring with me provided the fans vote for you on APW.com. In the event you are chosen tell us all how much that means for both you and your career?
The Buckson Gooch impersonator wipes the dribble off his face as he struggles to irk out a coherent sentence.
Brackason Gooch: Ya'll, I would be grateful for the opportunity to wrassle with a wrasslin' gawd such as Level-One! He is a wrasslin' gawd and I been prayin' to and watchin' him for years now back on my TV box. It wud bee a complete honor for me ta' lose to a guy you, Lester! I know this might sound freaky and everythin' but can ya' punch me in the face? Twice? I likes it rough. Hey you think I could getta' autograph on ma' corn on da cobb after tha show's over, bud?
The fake Gooch looks at Level-One who is seen talking with a hot southern belle; whom he recruited specifically to transcribe Buckson Gooch's words for him.
Level-One: ''I am afraid I won't be signing your corn on the cobb - whatever the hell that means! However, I gather even though you expect to lose you still want the fans to vote for you?''
The gooch impersonator claps his hands and nods his head up and down wildly.
Brackason Gooch: ''Yuur boy, you got dat' correct! Losing ta' ya would be da' greatest achievement in my wrasslin' career! Ya'll, I know it sounds crazy buh' just rubbin' sweat wit ya' on television would give me quite tha' rub and would be great for ma' career, see? Puhlease vote for me, I know Imma always make ma' momma proud lose, lose or lose.''
Level-One: ''Well... there we have it!? Vote for Buckson Gooch so he can live out his life long dream by losing to me!''
Buckson Gooch gets up to give Level-One a hug but he calls for security to remove the idiot off the stage; once again, you stare at your television waiting for the next hopeful as the spotlight settles over door number three.
Level-One: ''Our next potential opponent for Thursday is a wrestler who was featured on a Playboy spread sub titled; thank god for Photoshop and may be Buckson Gooch's only chance on earth to procreate with another human being as ugly as he is... please welcome, Amy Zing!''
A person whom you expect to be Amy Zing walks through the door but you're unsure because she's wearing a brown paper bag over her face with the eyes, mouth and nose cut slots cut out. She takes her seat as Level-One kneels beside and she puts a hand on her lap.
Level-One: ''Amy, I know you're not wearing that paper bag over your head because your ugly - even though you are - so please, enlighten us.''
The paper bagged Amy Zing crosses her arms in anger.
Amy Zinger: ''Look Lester, I don't know why I am even apart of this poll! I don't want to have to wrestle you, I am scared to death! I haven't won a match in god knows how long and if I can't beat the Michael Livelys and the Buckson Gooch's of the world how do I stand a chance against a wrestling GOD like yourself? Please, Lester... I don't even want to do this. Can you get the Sindicate to rig the polls against me? Please!? I'll do ANYTHING.''
A sadistic smile comes over Level-One's face.
Level-One: ''Anything?''
What? Don't act like the paper bag doesn't make sex with Amy Zing a half way pleasant thought - there's always a cure for the butter face. With that said, Lester quickly snapped out of it.
Level-One: ''Look Amy, I am afraid that not even the Sindicate can help you get out of this one. The fans are in full control of your fate this Thursday. Maybe you can make a plea to them?''
Amy Zing immediately falls of her chair down onto her knees with her head bowed and her hands clasped as she found herself at the public’s mercy.
Amy Zinger: ''I love all my loyal fans but please don't do this to me! I want you all to go ahead and vote for Buckson Gooch. Please do not split your votes and any vote for Mark Mania or Nathaniel Havok puts me in danger! I don't belong in the ring with Lester Only, in fact, I don't even think I belong on Overdrive. At this rate, I may never win another wrestling match again. I'm so frustrated! Please save me!''
Level-One: ''That is quite the touching plea, Amy. However, what if they don't listen? What if America is filled with a bunch of sick bastards with cold hearts who are cruel enough to put you in the ring with me!?''
Amy Zing is horrified by the notion and begins to fight back tears - her whimpering however fails to go unnoticed by everyone including you.
Amy Zinger: ''Well, then I will have to give you my best sir...''
Level-One: ''Amy, what happens when your best isn't good enough?''
Amy Zinger: ''You're right sir, I'm sorry sir! I guess I have no choice but to hope that you find it in your heart to spare me of any serious injuries this Thursday and approach this as a friendly match? I know I told my fans that this match is a win win for me but I just didn't want to let them down. I didn't want to have to tell them that I stood no chance again you, Lester.''
Level-One: ''I understand Amy. I hope America finds it in their hearts to spare you because I know I won't until the bell rings and you’re laying face down drowning in your own blood. Guards, take this bitch off my stage!''
The security guards are immediately on scene as they pick the begging paper bag Amy Zing up by her arms and carry her off stage as she continues to howl and whimper like a wounded dog. Lester snarls as he points at the final door which the spotlight hovers over.
Level-One: ''They say to save the best for last but needless to say, I didn't. Please welcome Nathaniel Havok to the show!''
The crowd boos the fake Nathaniel Havok mercilessly as the door opens up. The impostor sucks up the negative attention as he locks eyes with the host, Level-One. Lester tries to reach out to Nathaniel Havok but he disrespects him by taking a seat and ignoring the friendly gesture.
Level-One: ''As you can see there is no love lost between myself and Nathaniel Havok. Unlike Amy Zing and Buckson Gooch, I have a history with this man! This is the match I know we both want to see happen Nathaniel but let's face, it won't.''
Nathaniel Havecock: ''What? Why not?''
Level-One: ''Well this is fan appreciation day and the fans simply don't appreciate you. You won't be getting their votes and you'll be forced to wrestle in one big clusterfuck right where you belong. Though, while you may have not won this time - Late Night Sin created a poll where you can't lose! Let's take a look at it, shall we?''
Level-One and Nathaniel Havok look up at a big screen television on the elaborate set where the following chart is displayed.
Level-One: ''We asked a thousand voters what they thought your next gimmick should be and these were the answers, Havok.''
The crowd gasps as the impostor Nathaniel Havok looks around in horror at the vote count - at this point you can only imagine that he really wanted to be the Glitter King.
Nathaniel Havecock: ‘’Be myself?’’
Level-One nods his head up and down.
Level-One: ‘’If it’s any constellation Havok, I cast 100 votes for Glitter King. I figured you’d be the perfect guy to break the APW into the LGBT community.’’
Nathaniel Havok begins to draw deep breath and appears to be hyperventilating at this point as Level-One begins to signal for some medical personal.
Nathaniel Havecock: ‘’Lester, I - I - I - I don’t know how to be myself. Help me man - how the hell do you do it? How the hell are you, you!?’’
Level-One: ‘’Um, if I told you and you took my advice - wouldn’t you just try to be me? How does that help you be you?’’
Nathaniel Havecock: ‘’No, I mean how can I be me!?”
Level-One: ‘’How the hell do I know how you could be you!? I’m not you! You need to figure out how to be you!’’
Nathaniel Havecock: ‘’Please help me, Lester!’’
Level-One ignores Nathaniel Havok’s plea for help as he turns to the camera and flashes a cheesy grin to viewers much like yourself.
Level-One: ‘’I wish I could Mr. Havok but I am afraid that’s all for Late night Sin! Tune in next time as we help a man with sexual identity issues to make that leap and become a women! I am your host Level-One, goodnight folks!’’
You know if the APW really wanted to give back to these ungrateful fans - I'd be wrestling for the World Heavyweight title without Delikado running interference this Thursday night. Shit, if they REALLY wanted to give back to the fans I at the very least should have been given the night off rather then be forced to compete and therefore steam roll their favourite APW Mega Stars like Buckson Gooch, Mark Mania and Amy Zing! Ironically enough if these fans had one iota of intelligence they'd actually spend their time casting their votes for Nathaniel Havok to save FACE(s)... LITERALLY!
Though, it wouldn't surprise me to see them flock behind the likes of Amy Zing - a competitor of a female variety in hopes that they'll find their new Sally Talfourd to cheer for. It's no secret that I have struggled against wrestling women in the past - perhaps it's because I am too worried about touching a boob and catching a sexual assault charge in this politically correct bullshit society we live in but regardless - my track record against females could and should be much better. However, unlike the women who have beaten me in the past alas Sally Talfourd - Amy Zing does fails to possess one tenth of her talent and looks like she caught a shovel to the face in a buried alive match which makes her both UGLY and UNTALENTED!
To be honest if Amy Zing was selected to compete against me by these ill informed voters, I'd feel insulted. Amy Zing has no business being on Overdrive and has made us all realize how much we really do miss Kurt Noble and Chris Hart. At least going up against one of those two made me sweat whereas being matched up against Amy Zing is just a creative way to tell me I have the week off. Excuse me Ms. Zing but here on Overdrive having anything that resembles a competitive feud with the likes of Young Mannie makes you a fucking joke.
I don't care how much you've been hyped up by the pundits and the radio show hosts whom are all too afraid to admit that being a star on Meltdown means you're nothing more then a low level punching bag on Overdrive. There maybe an exception to the rule but the last time I checked your name wasn't Evan Envi. You made your debut two weeks ago and you have failed to pick up victories against two low level opponents. I don't know how you can even get lower than that without getting underneath Legion for more than three seconds...
That's when you know you have no shot at a career here. Though, no worries because should you win the popular vote I will gladly show you the talent disparity between you and me and that gap is large enough to fill the space in between Jason Kash's two front teeth and then some. In other words, Amy... it's not even close.
If there was one person I felt stood very little chance of receiving the vote it would be Mark Mania - especially after his poor showing last week... can we even call it that? I mean after all those things I said about you I really thought you'd offer a response but all I got was your silence. I even tried to reach out to that carpet munching secretary of yours but she told me to leave a message, so I didn't because I decided that you aren't worthy of my advice anymore, Mark.
I tried to help you but if you don't care about saving yourself anymore then why should I? Truth is, you had one hell of a bright future ahead of you but rather look towards the big picture, you got attached to your mediocrity and allowed your loss of the Overdrive title to eat away at you. Instead of seeing your loss as an opportunity to move onto something bigger and better you are here stuck in limbo with a poor man mentality which has ironically enough has already made you a millionaire.
You never really had to work too hard for anything life, have you Mark? You always wanted to be an Undisputed Champion and yet settled for the Overdrive title instead because that took less work and now that you can no longer call yourself a Overdrive champion nor an undisputed champion you have nothing more to fight for. Well, so be it. In a few weeks from now the APW will realize your contract isn't worth the money and you'll be released and then the APW will draft yet another Meltdown hopeful that never stood a fucking chance like Amy Zing and yet another blow to our Overdrive franchise will be dealt as it dies it's slow and painful death. Thanks for your contributions, old man.
If there was one person I'd say the fans would vote for it would probably be Buckson Gooch. Why? Well, Buckson Gooch is someone his voters can actually relate too. They are no smarter than he is, they have bad hygiene, they have annoying accents and they all had to actually work a day in their lives unlike that pampered millionaire Mark Mania whom sips his two dollar soup with his thousand dollar tupperware! The fans cheer Buckson Gooch on because they can not only relate to him but they can also vicariously through him because each and every one of them couldn't get up off their lazy ass and make something of themselves on their own.
Unfortunately, this trailer park superstar is only going to go so far. You may be tough and resilient - two traits that have got you this far but you lack the essentials to push you to the very top, Gooch. You don't have the intelligence needed to leverage yourself up and over your opponents. You can't be methodical and you lack the calculation needed to manoeuvre your way to the top and stay there as long as I have. You don't have the ability to mindfuck your opponents and defeat them before they even step into the ring! So, as a result... you'll continually have to work as twice as hard physically. You'll have to take more beatings which leads to more injuries and by the time you finally get your shot; your hard work won't pay off, rather it'll hinder you and you'll fade into obscurity like a dumbass.
Though, at least I can give you a round of applause for making something out of yourself. It may not be much but let's be honest what were your alternatives? If it wasn't for wrestling, you'd be taking care of five children with an ugly wife in a stinky trailer park drinking beer out back with Bob, Billy and Jack who likes to wear white sheets over his head and throw things from his car at any black person he sees. Your lazy asses too poor to afford that Wrassling Mania' every year ya'll would try to recreate the show in your backyard on a trampoline struggling to hold your weight. By the end of it, you and your 2 best friends will find out you're the BEST wrassler in your trailer park and then it's back to cleaning the shit up in your gutters the next morning and trying NOT to gawk at your wife’s vagina.
Your George W. Bush loving ass might as well call me Barack Obama because If it wasn't for the work I put in four years ago when the APW was a shit hole infested by the Blackwells you wouldn't have a REAL job! I am a big reason your even employed, Buck! I won't take full credit because you made the most out of the opportunity you've been given but just understand that I helped create the platform you stand on today!
If the fans think that you're their best shot at beating me then so be it but I promise you, it'll be the worst mistake they ever made. If they want to live through you and then can die through you too. I would love to beat you down just so I could send a message to each everyone of those fans who voted for you. No matter how many fan appreciation nights the APW wants to hold their votes mean nothing more than shuffling the deck chairs on the titanic. They are like you; powerless. The Sindicate are the power brokers here and it'll always be that way. You can either make a deal with it or be dealt by it. That's your choice.
As for Nathaniel Havok? I wish I could say that I’m looking forward to facing him given the fact that we have an established history but I am not. This isn’t 2010 anymore and the Nathaniel Havok I once knew died the night he lost to President Jeff at Rasslemania and failed to keep his job. To me stepping in the ring with you Havok is less appealing then stepping in the ring with any of my other three potential opponents because at least they have shown the ability to grow to some degree. You on the other hand? You’re stale, boring and on a steep and steady decline.
The sad thing about is? After all the years, you’re still not comfortable in your own skin. You are worse then a twelve year old girl with body issues. Whether your wearing make up and pretending to be dark or wearing face paint as a mask to cover up your true identity, you’ve always been a fake. You took on the personality of the Irish Phenom because you couldn’t find it in yourself to drop to your knees and beg President Jeff for your job back which makes you that much more pathetic. You could have got your job back with a little humility and without the theatrics if you still had some talent to rely on.
The Nathaniel Havok I once knew wouldn’t have lingered on Meltdown for months on end - failing to ever earn a spot on the Overdrive roster by his own merit. It’s funny how you were only brought up to Overdrive once you abandoned your gimmick and revealed your true identity, isn’t it? This means that were brought up not because you earned it but because of your name and the annotations attached your past…
When this night is all said and done and your left standing?
YOU should appreciate that the FANS never chose you…
You ungrateful prick.
LATE NIGHT SIN!
You the viewer is inundated with cheesy 80's theme music while the camera pans around the studio to an action packed crowd. After the tour is over and done with we find ourselves on the main set as smoke begins to bellow from the entrance way...
Ladies and gentlemen presenting your host... Lester ''Level-One'' Only!
The crowd cheers as the soon to be World Heavyweight Champion side shuffles through the entrance way wearing a fancy black suit, dress pants and dress shoes. With a microphone in hand he greets you with a smile.
Level One: ''Hello, I am Lester Only and today on the Late Night Sin special the Sindicate has decided to give back to you - our viewers! In conjunction with the APW we have found myself four potential competitors who will step in the ring with me on Thursday Night Overdrive and I have invited them here to tell YOU the people why they deserve your votes!''
Cue the cheers.
Level-One: ''So, let's get started shall we? Our first hopeful is a former APW Overdrive champion holding notable victories over Azreal Gorean, Evan Envi and Delikado. He's also rich and the ladies at home love him without further ado... come on out Mark Mania!''
The crowd stirs with excitement as the camera pans to one of the mystery doors but after several seconds it becomes apparent that nobody is behind the door. The crowd begins to grow frustrated as do you the viewer at home and the absent Mark Mania begins to draw heat from the crowd.
Level-One: ''I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen. My producer Kia LeWinter has informed me that Mark Mania wasn't able to show up tonight citing the fact that Mark Mania really needs and I quote; ‘’A fucking pedicure!’’ Well, I can't say I can judge him after all I've never walked a day in his high heels before...''
BA DUM DUM!
Level-One: ''Well, while Mark Mania is making sure his toe nails are clipped at an equal length let me just tell you that a vote for Mark Mania is a vote for success! I mean, come on... growing up as a trust fund baby must have been so hard! He went to the best schools, dated the prettiest girls and was a wrestling jock - can you imagine how miserable his life must have been!? I mean his parents must have expected SO much out of their son, Mark... but then after becoming a drunkard and calling himself Crazy Joe all he ever amounted to was a lowly Overdrive champion.''
The sad story of Mark Mania draws a pathetic awe from both you the viewer and the live crowd - even Lester curls his lip to so him how much he cares.
Level-One: ''Mark Mania deserves better than this people! At dinner last night he order sparkling champagne and there wasn't enough sparkling going on goddamnit! The day before? He ordered a CHEESE pizza and the asshole at the counter gave him extra cheese! Can you people believe that!? Ugh. Idiots! Please, it's your DUTY to be a good American and vote for Mark Mania!''
You roll your eyes along with the rest of the world as a large spotlight shines down on door number two.
Level-One: ''The next competitor is known more for his bad hygiene then his mediocre ring work - he hails from a trailer park shed in Possumgrape Arkansas his name is... Buckson Gooch!''
The door opens up and the uncoordinated bozo comes stumbling through the mystery door to the disgust of the crowd - all of which whom reach behind their chairs and grab a white medical facemask as if he was infected with SARS. They clap their hands as the Buckson Gooch look-alike stumbles down the flight of stairs and joins Level-One on stage.
Level-One: Buckson, I am glad you could make it here today! On Thursday Night, you will be given an opportunity to step in the ring with me provided the fans vote for you on APW.com. In the event you are chosen tell us all how much that means for both you and your career?
The Buckson Gooch impersonator wipes the dribble off his face as he struggles to irk out a coherent sentence.
Brackason Gooch: Ya'll, I would be grateful for the opportunity to wrassle with a wrasslin' gawd such as Level-One! He is a wrasslin' gawd and I been prayin' to and watchin' him for years now back on my TV box. It wud bee a complete honor for me ta' lose to a guy you, Lester! I know this might sound freaky and everythin' but can ya' punch me in the face? Twice? I likes it rough. Hey you think I could getta' autograph on ma' corn on da cobb after tha show's over, bud?
The fake Gooch looks at Level-One who is seen talking with a hot southern belle; whom he recruited specifically to transcribe Buckson Gooch's words for him.
Level-One: ''I am afraid I won't be signing your corn on the cobb - whatever the hell that means! However, I gather even though you expect to lose you still want the fans to vote for you?''
The gooch impersonator claps his hands and nods his head up and down wildly.
Brackason Gooch: ''Yuur boy, you got dat' correct! Losing ta' ya would be da' greatest achievement in my wrasslin' career! Ya'll, I know it sounds crazy buh' just rubbin' sweat wit ya' on television would give me quite tha' rub and would be great for ma' career, see? Puhlease vote for me, I know Imma always make ma' momma proud lose, lose or lose.''
Level-One: ''Well... there we have it!? Vote for Buckson Gooch so he can live out his life long dream by losing to me!''
Buckson Gooch gets up to give Level-One a hug but he calls for security to remove the idiot off the stage; once again, you stare at your television waiting for the next hopeful as the spotlight settles over door number three.
Level-One: ''Our next potential opponent for Thursday is a wrestler who was featured on a Playboy spread sub titled; thank god for Photoshop and may be Buckson Gooch's only chance on earth to procreate with another human being as ugly as he is... please welcome, Amy Zing!''
A person whom you expect to be Amy Zing walks through the door but you're unsure because she's wearing a brown paper bag over her face with the eyes, mouth and nose cut slots cut out. She takes her seat as Level-One kneels beside and she puts a hand on her lap.
Level-One: ''Amy, I know you're not wearing that paper bag over your head because your ugly - even though you are - so please, enlighten us.''
The paper bagged Amy Zing crosses her arms in anger.
Amy Zinger: ''Look Lester, I don't know why I am even apart of this poll! I don't want to have to wrestle you, I am scared to death! I haven't won a match in god knows how long and if I can't beat the Michael Livelys and the Buckson Gooch's of the world how do I stand a chance against a wrestling GOD like yourself? Please, Lester... I don't even want to do this. Can you get the Sindicate to rig the polls against me? Please!? I'll do ANYTHING.''
A sadistic smile comes over Level-One's face.
Level-One: ''Anything?''
What? Don't act like the paper bag doesn't make sex with Amy Zing a half way pleasant thought - there's always a cure for the butter face. With that said, Lester quickly snapped out of it.
Level-One: ''Look Amy, I am afraid that not even the Sindicate can help you get out of this one. The fans are in full control of your fate this Thursday. Maybe you can make a plea to them?''
Amy Zing immediately falls of her chair down onto her knees with her head bowed and her hands clasped as she found herself at the public’s mercy.
Amy Zinger: ''I love all my loyal fans but please don't do this to me! I want you all to go ahead and vote for Buckson Gooch. Please do not split your votes and any vote for Mark Mania or Nathaniel Havok puts me in danger! I don't belong in the ring with Lester Only, in fact, I don't even think I belong on Overdrive. At this rate, I may never win another wrestling match again. I'm so frustrated! Please save me!''
Level-One: ''That is quite the touching plea, Amy. However, what if they don't listen? What if America is filled with a bunch of sick bastards with cold hearts who are cruel enough to put you in the ring with me!?''
Amy Zing is horrified by the notion and begins to fight back tears - her whimpering however fails to go unnoticed by everyone including you.
Amy Zinger: ''Well, then I will have to give you my best sir...''
Level-One: ''Amy, what happens when your best isn't good enough?''
Amy Zinger: ''You're right sir, I'm sorry sir! I guess I have no choice but to hope that you find it in your heart to spare me of any serious injuries this Thursday and approach this as a friendly match? I know I told my fans that this match is a win win for me but I just didn't want to let them down. I didn't want to have to tell them that I stood no chance again you, Lester.''
Level-One: ''I understand Amy. I hope America finds it in their hearts to spare you because I know I won't until the bell rings and you’re laying face down drowning in your own blood. Guards, take this bitch off my stage!''
The security guards are immediately on scene as they pick the begging paper bag Amy Zing up by her arms and carry her off stage as she continues to howl and whimper like a wounded dog. Lester snarls as he points at the final door which the spotlight hovers over.
Level-One: ''They say to save the best for last but needless to say, I didn't. Please welcome Nathaniel Havok to the show!''
The crowd boos the fake Nathaniel Havok mercilessly as the door opens up. The impostor sucks up the negative attention as he locks eyes with the host, Level-One. Lester tries to reach out to Nathaniel Havok but he disrespects him by taking a seat and ignoring the friendly gesture.
Level-One: ''As you can see there is no love lost between myself and Nathaniel Havok. Unlike Amy Zing and Buckson Gooch, I have a history with this man! This is the match I know we both want to see happen Nathaniel but let's face, it won't.''
Nathaniel Havecock: ''What? Why not?''
Level-One: ''Well this is fan appreciation day and the fans simply don't appreciate you. You won't be getting their votes and you'll be forced to wrestle in one big clusterfuck right where you belong. Though, while you may have not won this time - Late Night Sin created a poll where you can't lose! Let's take a look at it, shall we?''
Level-One and Nathaniel Havok look up at a big screen television on the elaborate set where the following chart is displayed.
Level-One: ''We asked a thousand voters what they thought your next gimmick should be and these were the answers, Havok.''
The crowd gasps as the impostor Nathaniel Havok looks around in horror at the vote count - at this point you can only imagine that he really wanted to be the Glitter King.
Nathaniel Havecock: ‘’Be myself?’’
Level-One nods his head up and down.
Level-One: ‘’If it’s any constellation Havok, I cast 100 votes for Glitter King. I figured you’d be the perfect guy to break the APW into the LGBT community.’’
Nathaniel Havok begins to draw deep breath and appears to be hyperventilating at this point as Level-One begins to signal for some medical personal.
Nathaniel Havecock: ‘’Lester, I - I - I - I don’t know how to be myself. Help me man - how the hell do you do it? How the hell are you, you!?’’
Level-One: ‘’Um, if I told you and you took my advice - wouldn’t you just try to be me? How does that help you be you?’’
Nathaniel Havecock: ‘’No, I mean how can I be me!?”
Level-One: ‘’How the hell do I know how you could be you!? I’m not you! You need to figure out how to be you!’’
Nathaniel Havecock: ‘’Please help me, Lester!’’
Level-One ignores Nathaniel Havok’s plea for help as he turns to the camera and flashes a cheesy grin to viewers much like yourself.
Level-One: ‘’I wish I could Mr. Havok but I am afraid that’s all for Late night Sin! Tune in next time as we help a man with sexual identity issues to make that leap and become a women! I am your host Level-One, goodnight folks!’’
You know if the APW really wanted to give back to these ungrateful fans - I'd be wrestling for the World Heavyweight title without Delikado running interference this Thursday night. Shit, if they REALLY wanted to give back to the fans I at the very least should have been given the night off rather then be forced to compete and therefore steam roll their favourite APW Mega Stars like Buckson Gooch, Mark Mania and Amy Zing! Ironically enough if these fans had one iota of intelligence they'd actually spend their time casting their votes for Nathaniel Havok to save FACE(s)... LITERALLY!
Though, it wouldn't surprise me to see them flock behind the likes of Amy Zing - a competitor of a female variety in hopes that they'll find their new Sally Talfourd to cheer for. It's no secret that I have struggled against wrestling women in the past - perhaps it's because I am too worried about touching a boob and catching a sexual assault charge in this politically correct bullshit society we live in but regardless - my track record against females could and should be much better. However, unlike the women who have beaten me in the past alas Sally Talfourd - Amy Zing does fails to possess one tenth of her talent and looks like she caught a shovel to the face in a buried alive match which makes her both UGLY and UNTALENTED!
To be honest if Amy Zing was selected to compete against me by these ill informed voters, I'd feel insulted. Amy Zing has no business being on Overdrive and has made us all realize how much we really do miss Kurt Noble and Chris Hart. At least going up against one of those two made me sweat whereas being matched up against Amy Zing is just a creative way to tell me I have the week off. Excuse me Ms. Zing but here on Overdrive having anything that resembles a competitive feud with the likes of Young Mannie makes you a fucking joke.
I don't care how much you've been hyped up by the pundits and the radio show hosts whom are all too afraid to admit that being a star on Meltdown means you're nothing more then a low level punching bag on Overdrive. There maybe an exception to the rule but the last time I checked your name wasn't Evan Envi. You made your debut two weeks ago and you have failed to pick up victories against two low level opponents. I don't know how you can even get lower than that without getting underneath Legion for more than three seconds...
That's when you know you have no shot at a career here. Though, no worries because should you win the popular vote I will gladly show you the talent disparity between you and me and that gap is large enough to fill the space in between Jason Kash's two front teeth and then some. In other words, Amy... it's not even close.
If there was one person I felt stood very little chance of receiving the vote it would be Mark Mania - especially after his poor showing last week... can we even call it that? I mean after all those things I said about you I really thought you'd offer a response but all I got was your silence. I even tried to reach out to that carpet munching secretary of yours but she told me to leave a message, so I didn't because I decided that you aren't worthy of my advice anymore, Mark.
I tried to help you but if you don't care about saving yourself anymore then why should I? Truth is, you had one hell of a bright future ahead of you but rather look towards the big picture, you got attached to your mediocrity and allowed your loss of the Overdrive title to eat away at you. Instead of seeing your loss as an opportunity to move onto something bigger and better you are here stuck in limbo with a poor man mentality which has ironically enough has already made you a millionaire.
You never really had to work too hard for anything life, have you Mark? You always wanted to be an Undisputed Champion and yet settled for the Overdrive title instead because that took less work and now that you can no longer call yourself a Overdrive champion nor an undisputed champion you have nothing more to fight for. Well, so be it. In a few weeks from now the APW will realize your contract isn't worth the money and you'll be released and then the APW will draft yet another Meltdown hopeful that never stood a fucking chance like Amy Zing and yet another blow to our Overdrive franchise will be dealt as it dies it's slow and painful death. Thanks for your contributions, old man.
If there was one person I'd say the fans would vote for it would probably be Buckson Gooch. Why? Well, Buckson Gooch is someone his voters can actually relate too. They are no smarter than he is, they have bad hygiene, they have annoying accents and they all had to actually work a day in their lives unlike that pampered millionaire Mark Mania whom sips his two dollar soup with his thousand dollar tupperware! The fans cheer Buckson Gooch on because they can not only relate to him but they can also vicariously through him because each and every one of them couldn't get up off their lazy ass and make something of themselves on their own.
Unfortunately, this trailer park superstar is only going to go so far. You may be tough and resilient - two traits that have got you this far but you lack the essentials to push you to the very top, Gooch. You don't have the intelligence needed to leverage yourself up and over your opponents. You can't be methodical and you lack the calculation needed to manoeuvre your way to the top and stay there as long as I have. You don't have the ability to mindfuck your opponents and defeat them before they even step into the ring! So, as a result... you'll continually have to work as twice as hard physically. You'll have to take more beatings which leads to more injuries and by the time you finally get your shot; your hard work won't pay off, rather it'll hinder you and you'll fade into obscurity like a dumbass.
Though, at least I can give you a round of applause for making something out of yourself. It may not be much but let's be honest what were your alternatives? If it wasn't for wrestling, you'd be taking care of five children with an ugly wife in a stinky trailer park drinking beer out back with Bob, Billy and Jack who likes to wear white sheets over his head and throw things from his car at any black person he sees. Your lazy asses too poor to afford that Wrassling Mania' every year ya'll would try to recreate the show in your backyard on a trampoline struggling to hold your weight. By the end of it, you and your 2 best friends will find out you're the BEST wrassler in your trailer park and then it's back to cleaning the shit up in your gutters the next morning and trying NOT to gawk at your wife’s vagina.
Your George W. Bush loving ass might as well call me Barack Obama because If it wasn't for the work I put in four years ago when the APW was a shit hole infested by the Blackwells you wouldn't have a REAL job! I am a big reason your even employed, Buck! I won't take full credit because you made the most out of the opportunity you've been given but just understand that I helped create the platform you stand on today!
If the fans think that you're their best shot at beating me then so be it but I promise you, it'll be the worst mistake they ever made. If they want to live through you and then can die through you too. I would love to beat you down just so I could send a message to each everyone of those fans who voted for you. No matter how many fan appreciation nights the APW wants to hold their votes mean nothing more than shuffling the deck chairs on the titanic. They are like you; powerless. The Sindicate are the power brokers here and it'll always be that way. You can either make a deal with it or be dealt by it. That's your choice.
As for Nathaniel Havok? I wish I could say that I’m looking forward to facing him given the fact that we have an established history but I am not. This isn’t 2010 anymore and the Nathaniel Havok I once knew died the night he lost to President Jeff at Rasslemania and failed to keep his job. To me stepping in the ring with you Havok is less appealing then stepping in the ring with any of my other three potential opponents because at least they have shown the ability to grow to some degree. You on the other hand? You’re stale, boring and on a steep and steady decline.
The sad thing about is? After all the years, you’re still not comfortable in your own skin. You are worse then a twelve year old girl with body issues. Whether your wearing make up and pretending to be dark or wearing face paint as a mask to cover up your true identity, you’ve always been a fake. You took on the personality of the Irish Phenom because you couldn’t find it in yourself to drop to your knees and beg President Jeff for your job back which makes you that much more pathetic. You could have got your job back with a little humility and without the theatrics if you still had some talent to rely on.
The Nathaniel Havok I once knew wouldn’t have lingered on Meltdown for months on end - failing to ever earn a spot on the Overdrive roster by his own merit. It’s funny how you were only brought up to Overdrive once you abandoned your gimmick and revealed your true identity, isn’t it? This means that were brought up not because you earned it but because of your name and the annotations attached your past…
When this night is all said and done and your left standing?
YOU should appreciate that the FANS never chose you…
You ungrateful prick.
