Character feed back

[Jace]

Hi all! I as a role player value quality of quantity. I know my rp's so far aren't that long. I haven't played in some time and this is the first fed in 10 years I've participated in. Now with that I would like to know what other people think of Jace. Now I admit when I joined I just had a character name a vague concept. I'm developing a 4 part segment to establish his back story. Any feed back at all from Role playing tips, character development and just the thoughts on Jace would be appreciated. Thanks a lot it will be put to good use.

["The Real Deal" Ellis Graham]

I would definitely say give some good thought to what separates Jace from the other rich guys on the roster. If Jace is heel, then you need something that distinguishes him from Graham & McDonald. If he's face, well, you're infringing on CJ Gates' niche so, again, Jace needs something different. You said this is a 4-RP arc so if you already have something in mind, go for it.

The only other real advice I can give is just a focus on the basics. Jeff is by no means a typo Nazi, but the more you have, the less it looks like a quality finished product. Plus I think spacing between narration and speaking would help make the work a little easier to read.

I hope you don't think I'm trying to be overly negative. There's a lot to like about your writing. The one-sided phone call was a welcome dose of realism (most of the time when a wrestler gets a phone call - me included - you can "magically" hear both sides) and I liked the level of detail in narrating his actions while promoing (those little one-liners of narration go a long way to help visualize the moment plus it breaks up what would otherwise be a big sea of blue text).

Those little things will help your work be accurately evaluated for the high-potential content therein. Good job so far.

[Jace]

Thanks for the feed back. Jace is a tweener he tries to help people around him but when it comes to competition he is all business lol. I like your characters. Graham and McDonald. Maybe if I become hel one day we can get a stable going lol. I forget I need to space the narration. It's spaced on word but when I copy it over it doesn't. I don't mean to infringe on anyone's character. I use to play heel characters all the time so this is a change up for me. Again I do really enjoy your rp's aswell

["The Real Deal" Ellis Graham]

Thanks, but Evan McDonald is another guy's character. We just decided to form a team because we were so similar with our bio.

You do gotta watch Word though. By default, it puts a bonus space when you press enter. I don't know why because its dumb, but yeah you gotta go to the spacing tab & tell it to knock that off.

[Jace]

I wrote that I meant for that to say I like your guy's characters.