Post by Jake Titan on Apr 28, 2013 23:59:41 GMT -4
A man who is clearly on the verge of crapping in his pants ran onto an elevator with Jake Titan. Painfully, he looked at Jake Titan. “Oh man, this is going to be a long ride up. PLEASE hit number 21.” His pained groans filled the elevator as he tried to hold it in.
Doing as the man asked, Jake hit the button for the twenty first floor. Then he pressed the twentieth, and the nineteenth, then eighteenth and every button always the way down to the ground. With pained screams, the other man dropped onto his knees. Jake stood there, arms up as if he’s raising the roof, thrusting his hips at the other man as he attempted to control his bowels.
“Yeah, you like dat shit don’t you.” Taunted Jake.
The man looked up, almost on the point of crying. “You’re such a dick, dickhead. And PLEASE don’t talk about shit man.”
“I’m a motha fuckin’ gentleman!” He kept thrusting his junk towards the man’s face.
Then it came, the sound that Jake wanted to hear. Horrified screaming came from the man as he clearly began to soil his pants. By now, Jake was laughing pretty hard as couldn’t stop himself. However the smell was over whelming, Jake had to get off before he too almost threw up. Luckily it was also his stop as a sign would point McLovin towards the Welfare office. APW’s original gangsta took his time, strutting in like he owned the place, into the Welfare office. Skipping ahead of several people who were patiently waiting in line, Jake dropped off a paper, walked over to a woman, cupped his hand behind his butt then threw it in the woman’s face. She sniffed the air, held her mouth and ran over to a garbage can and threw up. Knowing that he’s instantly outworn his welcome, Jake made his way back to elevators.
Once inside, Jake stood there near the front clearly thinking deeply to himself. Everyone began to look at one another with a look of disgust. Yet Jake stood there, innocent like a fawn. Eventually the door opened as Jake turned around, and violently he said “IT WAS MEEEEE!!”
The people left the elevator car coughing, all of them angered that Jake did something so disgusting in public. Having dropped off his renewal of Welfare, Jake made his way down the street towards a gym that was within walking distance. On his way there, a group of seven or eight year old children are playing soccer or as it’s known in the rest of the world: Football. Their ball flew out of bounds and head to Jake. Seeing the ball coming, Jake caught it and began to bounce the ball on his head.
“Mister, over here!” one of the kids shouted.
Like a pro baller, Jake continued to bounce the ball as he made his way over to them. Then Jake started to bounce and juggle the ball on his knees. Never once letting it fall below his waist, Jake looked at the children. “This ya’lls?”
Their little heads nodded and confirmed his inquiry. The ball landed on the ground and it even looked like Jake was ready to kick it back to them. Instead of passing them the ball, Jake winded up his leg and gave the ball the hardest kick he could possibly deliver. The ball flew into a window, breaking it, and left the kids without a ball. Saddened that their ball is gone, they began to cry a little. On the other hand, we have Jake Titan standing there, happy, confidant, thrusting his hips forward, enjoying the children’s misery. A nearby sprinkler turned on and started to spray Jake as he celebrated at the children’s sadness. Like a true smooth criminal, Jake began to moon walk his way from the children.
“God DAMN it fee’s good to be ma. Ya get what I sayin’?” Suddenly, the faint sound of “Jump and Fall” by Taylor Swift is heard, and Jake pulled out his cell phone. “L.R.” is on the screen. “Yeah?... What’s up?... Ah ya now, da same ol’ shit. Jus’ doin’ what I always do. Makin’ da money ‘n’ shit, got a big match commin’ up ya know? Hey I’m goin’ through a tuna.”
There was no tunnel around Jake. It’s painfully clear that Jake doesn’t want to be on the phone any longer. “I be seein’ ya soon.”
As Jake continued down the street he noticed an outdoor restaurant. A woman is sitting by herself as she drink while a couple of hooligans are making obscene gestures at her. Patience is a virtual and this woman is practicing it as she just ignored the hooligans. Strutting his stuff, Jake passed by the woman and lightly slapped her tea cup as one guy is violently humping the air behind her. The coffee spilled over her blouse.
Laughing hysterically, Jake pointed at her and using his hands like pistols Jake shot her as he laughed. Has something come over Jake? Or did Jake simply finally smoke one too many rocks and go insane? Instead he pulled his phone out as the woman flipped him off and angrily yelled at him. The recipient read “Da Gurl” as he texted her. The phone is large enough that anyone close enough could read.
JT: Yo gurl. I hope u lykd da food ‘n’ movie we checked out.
Da Gurl: Yeah, it was really good food and that Evil Dead Remake was actually pretty good.
JT: Yea’, dem Evil Dead b da shit. I red it on da net n da ppl say dat it was good. Jist thot u wud lyk it n shit.
Da Gurl: I did, really bloody but it wasn’t that scary.
JT: May b da movie dey mke now n shit jist ain’t scarey.
Da Gurl: Yeah, I don’t think they’re trying hard any more either.
JT: I b by l8er, a’ight?
Perhaps Jake is going to be on a hot date tonight? Maybe Jake is going to get lucky tonight? Or it could be that Jake is finally ready to calm down from constantly moving from woman to woman in whatever city or day it just so happened to be. Either way, our beloved OG was in a great mode, a mood so great he jumped into traffic and began to break dance.
His left elblow is cocked while the hand is limp, the right hand pointed towards the ground. His legs however are skipping; the left knee is never on the ground while he skipped around. Traffic dodged him and he started to honk, several threw trash at him while the rest spat and swore. Nothing could bring Jake down from this high, he’s never been happier. Not only is he going to be facing off against Tommy Knoxville this coming Meltdown but he’d also be hanging with his new acquired girlfriend. A cruiser flashed his lights as they made a U turn. Thinking quick and not wanting to get arrested, Jake jumped back on the side walk and ran through an alleyway. Having put distance between himself and the cops, he looked around and realized he’s been where he needs to be. Not wasting any time, Jake Titan made his way towards a gym that was down the street.
He nearly ripped the door off as he danced his way over the front counter, showed the man his membership card, and boogied on over to a heavyset woman running as fast as fast as she can. The speed read “8 kpm” yet the woman is running as fast as her legs could carry her. Seeing she’s occupied trying to keep up. Slowly, Jake’s hand moved over and increased the speed from 8 kpm to 14 kpm, unable to keep up, the heavyset woman fell over and was thrown off the treadmill.
Cocky and arrogant, Jake stood above the fallen woman and started to clap his hands and laughing at her misfortune. “There she goes! Free Wilma!” He shouted and jumped over her, putting distance between her and him.
Near a corner, Jake saw a woman sitting in a rowing machine. Her black hair glistened in the light, the blonde streaks is what caught his eyes. Like a smooth pimp, Jake sat down behind her quietly and cupped her large breasts from behind. “G-“
The woman introduced her fist into Jake’s nose and sent him flying off her. She got up and jumped on top of Jake however instead of punching, the young woman just looked him confused. “Oh… I’m sorry Jake.”
“Naw, it’s cool bitch.” He stood up and noticed his nose is bleeding. “Shit happens, thought I’d swing by and surprise ya, ya feel me?”
“Well you did surprise me Jake. You going to work out for a bit before your flight tonight?”
She wrapped her arms around Jake’s neck.
“I be workin’ out at da crib, besides id it a crime to bull shit wit’ ma girl?” The two embraced each other and kissed.
A beautiful, young, white, and clearly in shape woman: That is this young woman known as Lacey. What more could Jake want? This is almost a dream come true for him. Some people would be apprehensive of such an odd pairing but this is going to be a golf ball sized pill that tasted a lot like sea salt and they would have to swallow it.
“No, I wouldn’t want to think so. Come with me, big boy.” She lightly tapped his groin and like a lost child he followed her.
They entered the women’s locker room, the showers in the back are going and Jake stood by calmly. He couldn’t be THAT much of a pervert, he’d enjoy coming back her once in a while. “So like I was on da net checkin’ out what da peeps be sayin’ ‘bout dis Monday at Meltdown.”
Although the running showers made a lot of noise, Lacey heard Jake. “Oh? What did they say, hun?”
“Ah ya know what da haters be sayin’. Dey be all like ‘Oh Jake Titan will finally be getting a hold of Tommy Knoxville, now Jake will his ass kicked by the man who’s been kickin’ his ass’ ya know how da haters are gonna be haters. Well fuck dem, haters gonna be haters and I’m gonna be showin’ dem that Jake Titan ain’t no punk ass bitch. I demanded my match and I fuckin’ got dat bitch where I fuckin’ want him. Am I mad dat Leon didn’t have my back when I needed him the most? Of course but did I expect it from him? Yes I did. He’s a fuckin’ bitch but at least he’s a reliable bitch.”
“Pretty harsh thing to say.” Shouted Lacey.
“I got mo’ I want to say about him but let me address his ho Niobe. Did she beat me? Yea’ she beat me but she needed her man in her fuckin’ corner to beat me. Ain’t no bitch like her able to beat me fairly. ‘N’ like I don’t think that ho could beat me one on one. She got lucky ‘cause I have the biggest balls she’s ever felt because Tommy Knoxville clearly doesn’t have none or ones dat are big enough to feel.”
“I know have big balls.”
“Biggest you’ve ever seen?” He smirked and leaned his head towards her.
“Perhaps, I’ve seen a number of balls in my wild college days.” Lacey taunted.
Ah, so Lacey isn’t just beautiful and strong but she’s also very smart. What more could this young woman be? “A body dat don’t quit, a sexy geek-like girl ‘n’ tougher den nails. What ain’t you, Lacey?”
“Hmmm I guess I ain’t you.” A shower turned off and a woman walked out. It obviously wasn’t Lacey as it was the same heavyset woman he made fall off the treadmill earlier. Not going to let her get the best of him or even for that matter, Jake began to dance a little by her. His arms swung up and down as he made high stomps on the ground in front of her.
Although Jake did ruin her time running on the treadmill, she did laugh a little. Despite the heavyset woman dressing in front of him, she never cried foul but she definitely gave him an eyeful of what Jake didn’t necessarily want to see.
Another shut off and Lacey came out wrapped up in a towel. The one think Jake did notice was a seductive walk that Lacey gave him as she passed by. But just as Jake was about to take a seat, she pushed him back and placed him on the opposite side of the wall from her. “Good things come to those who wait.”
Jake didn’t want to wait and instead he jumped around and startled Lacey. Although she was made with Jake, she didn’t get too made and instead turned around and faced the lockers. One elbow cocked across Jake’s chest, his hips thrusts towards her slowly while his other free hands cradled his head.
“Yea’ true, like I was sayin’. Niobe won only because Leon dragged his fuckin’ feet and she needed her boyfriend to distract da ref to get have a chance to hit my big nuts. If she didn’t have her man help her out, she woulda been fucked. I ain’t worried about some white ho… no offense, like her dat needs to have her man win her fights for her.
“But da Natural Born Killaz did make a impact last week when we made Foul Play out bitches for da evening. Dat Jason Kash ‘n’ Reaver, dey did’t see us coming. Does I think dat Foul Play will wanna get even? Hell yeah but dey gotta wait ‘till da Natural Born Killaz deal wit’ NightmVille ‘cause I don’t see dis shit finishing any time soon.
“But back to Tommy Knoxville. Took him long enough to finally accept my fuckin’ challenge I gave him weeks ago. He ain’t good enough to win the APW North American Championship, not because da Guv’nor was lucky. He was flat the better man ‘tween him ‘n’ Tommy. Always and always will be, and when da Dyin’ Breed beat him ‘n’ Gooch, it was ‘cause Tommy ain’t no team playa. He be ridin’ da coattails of da partners he be with ‘n’ all. Niobe she be flava of da week. After he’s done butt fuckin’ her, since that’s how she likes it, Tommy’ll be all like ‘I’m done wit’ ya, fuck off’ and end up attack her and tossin’ her aside wit’ his used condoms.
“I know Buckson wasn’t da best but he was definitely better den Tommy ‘n’ like I know I be better den Tommy Knoxville, he can consider himself da number one contender for da Tag Team Championship but he lost dat shit when he didn’t work togetha wit’ Goochie. But if he be thinkin’ dat he’ll be walkin’ over me ‘n’ shit, dat ain’t gonna dat way. I be all coming at him ‘n’ shit. But when you fuckin’ fight yo’ bitches battle fo’ her, she ain’t shit and you certaintly ain’t shit when you attack yo’ damn partner because yo’ bitch ass ain’t shit in knowing how to be a team.
“I know dat Foul Play gonna be ready to get dem some revenge. It only be a matta a time dat dis NightmareVille be a part of da Foul Play. I don’t remember where Tommy Knoxville be from but I know he has a problem with black people ‘cause his ass too forever to get back to me. I don’t care if he’s a racist little fuck, I think it was funny that he only has to face me ‘cause Sienna Yamcha-face wanted to shut me da fuck up. Now I got dat asshole where I fuckin’ want him. One and one and it just gonna be and him in the da ring, hopefully Gooch will have my back as I know Leon better fuckin’ have my back as I will have that assholes back for his match.
“I’m also gonna say dis once. If Tommy’s bitch wants to get in our fucking match, I ain’t gotta problem bring her into the match and then fucking her up because she does look stupid enough to get into my match and put her nose where it doesn’t belong. If he’s going stupid and bring his ho where she shouldn’t be, I ain’t going to be responsible dat da bitch ends up getting her shit ruined because Leon ‘n’ wife decide to take her outta da match so I can have my one on with that fucking asshole.
“So I’m coming ready for the fight at Meltdown. Tommy might be good enough to get two title shots in two weeks but he’s not good enough to win either one of them. If I had his shots I would have fucking won both those titles and I wouldn’t have help a woman with her match. I’m ready, how about Lacey?”
“Yeah, I’m ready.” Lacey finishes dressing and packs up her stuff.
Just as they’re about to leave, Jake Titan notices a ladies Rolex. It’s worth at least $9000 and that’s money Jake needs. Before Lacey grabs it, he shoves it down his pants and another woman catches him doing so.
“Umm sir, this is the woman’s locker room and are you stealing that watch?” She pointed at his suddenly larger groin region.
Suddenly shocked she was suggestion he’d do something so immoral, he gasped and put on a southern belle’s voice “Well I never!” and walked away bow legged.
~End
Doing as the man asked, Jake hit the button for the twenty first floor. Then he pressed the twentieth, and the nineteenth, then eighteenth and every button always the way down to the ground. With pained screams, the other man dropped onto his knees. Jake stood there, arms up as if he’s raising the roof, thrusting his hips at the other man as he attempted to control his bowels.
“Yeah, you like dat shit don’t you.” Taunted Jake.
The man looked up, almost on the point of crying. “You’re such a dick, dickhead. And PLEASE don’t talk about shit man.”
“I’m a motha fuckin’ gentleman!” He kept thrusting his junk towards the man’s face.
Then it came, the sound that Jake wanted to hear. Horrified screaming came from the man as he clearly began to soil his pants. By now, Jake was laughing pretty hard as couldn’t stop himself. However the smell was over whelming, Jake had to get off before he too almost threw up. Luckily it was also his stop as a sign would point McLovin towards the Welfare office. APW’s original gangsta took his time, strutting in like he owned the place, into the Welfare office. Skipping ahead of several people who were patiently waiting in line, Jake dropped off a paper, walked over to a woman, cupped his hand behind his butt then threw it in the woman’s face. She sniffed the air, held her mouth and ran over to a garbage can and threw up. Knowing that he’s instantly outworn his welcome, Jake made his way back to elevators.
Once inside, Jake stood there near the front clearly thinking deeply to himself. Everyone began to look at one another with a look of disgust. Yet Jake stood there, innocent like a fawn. Eventually the door opened as Jake turned around, and violently he said “IT WAS MEEEEE!!”
The people left the elevator car coughing, all of them angered that Jake did something so disgusting in public. Having dropped off his renewal of Welfare, Jake made his way down the street towards a gym that was within walking distance. On his way there, a group of seven or eight year old children are playing soccer or as it’s known in the rest of the world: Football. Their ball flew out of bounds and head to Jake. Seeing the ball coming, Jake caught it and began to bounce the ball on his head.
“Mister, over here!” one of the kids shouted.
Like a pro baller, Jake continued to bounce the ball as he made his way over to them. Then Jake started to bounce and juggle the ball on his knees. Never once letting it fall below his waist, Jake looked at the children. “This ya’lls?”
Their little heads nodded and confirmed his inquiry. The ball landed on the ground and it even looked like Jake was ready to kick it back to them. Instead of passing them the ball, Jake winded up his leg and gave the ball the hardest kick he could possibly deliver. The ball flew into a window, breaking it, and left the kids without a ball. Saddened that their ball is gone, they began to cry a little. On the other hand, we have Jake Titan standing there, happy, confidant, thrusting his hips forward, enjoying the children’s misery. A nearby sprinkler turned on and started to spray Jake as he celebrated at the children’s sadness. Like a true smooth criminal, Jake began to moon walk his way from the children.
“God DAMN it fee’s good to be ma. Ya get what I sayin’?” Suddenly, the faint sound of “Jump and Fall” by Taylor Swift is heard, and Jake pulled out his cell phone. “L.R.” is on the screen. “Yeah?... What’s up?... Ah ya now, da same ol’ shit. Jus’ doin’ what I always do. Makin’ da money ‘n’ shit, got a big match commin’ up ya know? Hey I’m goin’ through a tuna.”
There was no tunnel around Jake. It’s painfully clear that Jake doesn’t want to be on the phone any longer. “I be seein’ ya soon.”
As Jake continued down the street he noticed an outdoor restaurant. A woman is sitting by herself as she drink while a couple of hooligans are making obscene gestures at her. Patience is a virtual and this woman is practicing it as she just ignored the hooligans. Strutting his stuff, Jake passed by the woman and lightly slapped her tea cup as one guy is violently humping the air behind her. The coffee spilled over her blouse.
Laughing hysterically, Jake pointed at her and using his hands like pistols Jake shot her as he laughed. Has something come over Jake? Or did Jake simply finally smoke one too many rocks and go insane? Instead he pulled his phone out as the woman flipped him off and angrily yelled at him. The recipient read “Da Gurl” as he texted her. The phone is large enough that anyone close enough could read.
JT: Yo gurl. I hope u lykd da food ‘n’ movie we checked out.
Da Gurl: Yeah, it was really good food and that Evil Dead Remake was actually pretty good.
JT: Yea’, dem Evil Dead b da shit. I red it on da net n da ppl say dat it was good. Jist thot u wud lyk it n shit.
Da Gurl: I did, really bloody but it wasn’t that scary.
JT: May b da movie dey mke now n shit jist ain’t scarey.
Da Gurl: Yeah, I don’t think they’re trying hard any more either.
JT: I b by l8er, a’ight?
Perhaps Jake is going to be on a hot date tonight? Maybe Jake is going to get lucky tonight? Or it could be that Jake is finally ready to calm down from constantly moving from woman to woman in whatever city or day it just so happened to be. Either way, our beloved OG was in a great mode, a mood so great he jumped into traffic and began to break dance.
His left elblow is cocked while the hand is limp, the right hand pointed towards the ground. His legs however are skipping; the left knee is never on the ground while he skipped around. Traffic dodged him and he started to honk, several threw trash at him while the rest spat and swore. Nothing could bring Jake down from this high, he’s never been happier. Not only is he going to be facing off against Tommy Knoxville this coming Meltdown but he’d also be hanging with his new acquired girlfriend. A cruiser flashed his lights as they made a U turn. Thinking quick and not wanting to get arrested, Jake jumped back on the side walk and ran through an alleyway. Having put distance between himself and the cops, he looked around and realized he’s been where he needs to be. Not wasting any time, Jake Titan made his way towards a gym that was down the street.
He nearly ripped the door off as he danced his way over the front counter, showed the man his membership card, and boogied on over to a heavyset woman running as fast as fast as she can. The speed read “8 kpm” yet the woman is running as fast as her legs could carry her. Seeing she’s occupied trying to keep up. Slowly, Jake’s hand moved over and increased the speed from 8 kpm to 14 kpm, unable to keep up, the heavyset woman fell over and was thrown off the treadmill.
Cocky and arrogant, Jake stood above the fallen woman and started to clap his hands and laughing at her misfortune. “There she goes! Free Wilma!” He shouted and jumped over her, putting distance between her and him.
Near a corner, Jake saw a woman sitting in a rowing machine. Her black hair glistened in the light, the blonde streaks is what caught his eyes. Like a smooth pimp, Jake sat down behind her quietly and cupped her large breasts from behind. “G-“
The woman introduced her fist into Jake’s nose and sent him flying off her. She got up and jumped on top of Jake however instead of punching, the young woman just looked him confused. “Oh… I’m sorry Jake.”
“Naw, it’s cool bitch.” He stood up and noticed his nose is bleeding. “Shit happens, thought I’d swing by and surprise ya, ya feel me?”
“Well you did surprise me Jake. You going to work out for a bit before your flight tonight?”
She wrapped her arms around Jake’s neck.
“I be workin’ out at da crib, besides id it a crime to bull shit wit’ ma girl?” The two embraced each other and kissed.
A beautiful, young, white, and clearly in shape woman: That is this young woman known as Lacey. What more could Jake want? This is almost a dream come true for him. Some people would be apprehensive of such an odd pairing but this is going to be a golf ball sized pill that tasted a lot like sea salt and they would have to swallow it.
“No, I wouldn’t want to think so. Come with me, big boy.” She lightly tapped his groin and like a lost child he followed her.
They entered the women’s locker room, the showers in the back are going and Jake stood by calmly. He couldn’t be THAT much of a pervert, he’d enjoy coming back her once in a while. “So like I was on da net checkin’ out what da peeps be sayin’ ‘bout dis Monday at Meltdown.”
Although the running showers made a lot of noise, Lacey heard Jake. “Oh? What did they say, hun?”
“Ah ya know what da haters be sayin’. Dey be all like ‘Oh Jake Titan will finally be getting a hold of Tommy Knoxville, now Jake will his ass kicked by the man who’s been kickin’ his ass’ ya know how da haters are gonna be haters. Well fuck dem, haters gonna be haters and I’m gonna be showin’ dem that Jake Titan ain’t no punk ass bitch. I demanded my match and I fuckin’ got dat bitch where I fuckin’ want him. Am I mad dat Leon didn’t have my back when I needed him the most? Of course but did I expect it from him? Yes I did. He’s a fuckin’ bitch but at least he’s a reliable bitch.”
“Pretty harsh thing to say.” Shouted Lacey.
“I got mo’ I want to say about him but let me address his ho Niobe. Did she beat me? Yea’ she beat me but she needed her man in her fuckin’ corner to beat me. Ain’t no bitch like her able to beat me fairly. ‘N’ like I don’t think that ho could beat me one on one. She got lucky ‘cause I have the biggest balls she’s ever felt because Tommy Knoxville clearly doesn’t have none or ones dat are big enough to feel.”
“I know have big balls.”
“Biggest you’ve ever seen?” He smirked and leaned his head towards her.
“Perhaps, I’ve seen a number of balls in my wild college days.” Lacey taunted.
Ah, so Lacey isn’t just beautiful and strong but she’s also very smart. What more could this young woman be? “A body dat don’t quit, a sexy geek-like girl ‘n’ tougher den nails. What ain’t you, Lacey?”
“Hmmm I guess I ain’t you.” A shower turned off and a woman walked out. It obviously wasn’t Lacey as it was the same heavyset woman he made fall off the treadmill earlier. Not going to let her get the best of him or even for that matter, Jake began to dance a little by her. His arms swung up and down as he made high stomps on the ground in front of her.
Although Jake did ruin her time running on the treadmill, she did laugh a little. Despite the heavyset woman dressing in front of him, she never cried foul but she definitely gave him an eyeful of what Jake didn’t necessarily want to see.
Another shut off and Lacey came out wrapped up in a towel. The one think Jake did notice was a seductive walk that Lacey gave him as she passed by. But just as Jake was about to take a seat, she pushed him back and placed him on the opposite side of the wall from her. “Good things come to those who wait.”
Jake didn’t want to wait and instead he jumped around and startled Lacey. Although she was made with Jake, she didn’t get too made and instead turned around and faced the lockers. One elbow cocked across Jake’s chest, his hips thrusts towards her slowly while his other free hands cradled his head.
“Yea’ true, like I was sayin’. Niobe won only because Leon dragged his fuckin’ feet and she needed her boyfriend to distract da ref to get have a chance to hit my big nuts. If she didn’t have her man help her out, she woulda been fucked. I ain’t worried about some white ho… no offense, like her dat needs to have her man win her fights for her.
“But da Natural Born Killaz did make a impact last week when we made Foul Play out bitches for da evening. Dat Jason Kash ‘n’ Reaver, dey did’t see us coming. Does I think dat Foul Play will wanna get even? Hell yeah but dey gotta wait ‘till da Natural Born Killaz deal wit’ NightmVille ‘cause I don’t see dis shit finishing any time soon.
“But back to Tommy Knoxville. Took him long enough to finally accept my fuckin’ challenge I gave him weeks ago. He ain’t good enough to win the APW North American Championship, not because da Guv’nor was lucky. He was flat the better man ‘tween him ‘n’ Tommy. Always and always will be, and when da Dyin’ Breed beat him ‘n’ Gooch, it was ‘cause Tommy ain’t no team playa. He be ridin’ da coattails of da partners he be with ‘n’ all. Niobe she be flava of da week. After he’s done butt fuckin’ her, since that’s how she likes it, Tommy’ll be all like ‘I’m done wit’ ya, fuck off’ and end up attack her and tossin’ her aside wit’ his used condoms.
“I know Buckson wasn’t da best but he was definitely better den Tommy ‘n’ like I know I be better den Tommy Knoxville, he can consider himself da number one contender for da Tag Team Championship but he lost dat shit when he didn’t work togetha wit’ Goochie. But if he be thinkin’ dat he’ll be walkin’ over me ‘n’ shit, dat ain’t gonna dat way. I be all coming at him ‘n’ shit. But when you fuckin’ fight yo’ bitches battle fo’ her, she ain’t shit and you certaintly ain’t shit when you attack yo’ damn partner because yo’ bitch ass ain’t shit in knowing how to be a team.
“I know dat Foul Play gonna be ready to get dem some revenge. It only be a matta a time dat dis NightmareVille be a part of da Foul Play. I don’t remember where Tommy Knoxville be from but I know he has a problem with black people ‘cause his ass too forever to get back to me. I don’t care if he’s a racist little fuck, I think it was funny that he only has to face me ‘cause Sienna Yamcha-face wanted to shut me da fuck up. Now I got dat asshole where I fuckin’ want him. One and one and it just gonna be and him in the da ring, hopefully Gooch will have my back as I know Leon better fuckin’ have my back as I will have that assholes back for his match.
“I’m also gonna say dis once. If Tommy’s bitch wants to get in our fucking match, I ain’t gotta problem bring her into the match and then fucking her up because she does look stupid enough to get into my match and put her nose where it doesn’t belong. If he’s going stupid and bring his ho where she shouldn’t be, I ain’t going to be responsible dat da bitch ends up getting her shit ruined because Leon ‘n’ wife decide to take her outta da match so I can have my one on with that fucking asshole.
“So I’m coming ready for the fight at Meltdown. Tommy might be good enough to get two title shots in two weeks but he’s not good enough to win either one of them. If I had his shots I would have fucking won both those titles and I wouldn’t have help a woman with her match. I’m ready, how about Lacey?”
“Yeah, I’m ready.” Lacey finishes dressing and packs up her stuff.
Just as they’re about to leave, Jake Titan notices a ladies Rolex. It’s worth at least $9000 and that’s money Jake needs. Before Lacey grabs it, he shoves it down his pants and another woman catches him doing so.
“Umm sir, this is the woman’s locker room and are you stealing that watch?” She pointed at his suddenly larger groin region.
Suddenly shocked she was suggestion he’d do something so immoral, he gasped and put on a southern belle’s voice “Well I never!” and walked away bow legged.
~End
