Post by Pepsi on May 4, 2013 2:18:54 GMT -4
Somewhere On A South American Highway That May Or May Not Exist,
Saturday, May 4, 2013
*We see a close up of Elliot Von Wilderspin's face. He has a very intense look on his face.*
VON WILDERPIN:
This is the moment we have been waiting for. The moment of truth. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. The biggest moment of your career. Just think, days from now you have an opportunity to claim the spot at the top of Monday Night Meltdown. You have an opportunity to become the face of APW on Monday nights. You are one win away from forever immortalizing yourself in the history of APW. The only thing standing between you and immortality is a very talented competitor. You must understand a win here is far from guaranteed. To defeat The Guvnor you will need the highest level of focus and determination that you can muster. You will have to push your self harder than you ever have before, and never lose sight of the task at hand. Are you ready?
*Elliot waits for a response from Billy, who is sitting behind him on the bus. Billy appears to be fidgeting with something. Elliot goes impatient and looks over his shoulder.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Well, are you ready?
*Billy hops out of his seat and jumps with glee*
PEPSI:
Aha, I finally did it.
*Billy holds up a Rubik's cube. Each sides colors are perfectly matched. Elliot looks with shock. Could it be? Perhaps Billy is just misunderstood. Maybe he's one of those geniuses who just never excelled, because he was never properly challenged.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Billy, did you just solve a Rubik's Cube.
PEPSI:
What's a Rubik's Cube?
VON WILDERSPIN:
It's the bloody thing in your hand. That's actually a very challenging puzzle. I can't believe you solved it.
PEPSI:
Yeah tell me about it. I don't know why the colours were all mixed up like that. It took me forever to peel the stickers off and put them in there proper place.
*Oh come on. You had to see that one coming. You didn't actually buy all that hidden genius crap. Billy is dumb, end of story. No need for optimism. Elliot clearly is disappointed. He should have known better than to get his hopes up.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Were you even listening to a thing I was saying?
PEPSI:
Of course I was listening. You asked me if I solved a Rubik's Cube.
VON WILDERSPIN:
I mean what I was saying before that.
*Billy thinks for a moment. He scratches his head as he tries to recollect.*
PEPSI:
I think you were saying something about how much my Spanish has improved.
*Of course by now you should know what comes next... You guessed it, Facepalm! Elliot smacks himself in the forehead in frustration.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
See, you were not listening to me. I was trying to tell you how important it is for you to be focused on your match with The Guvnor on Monday.
PEPSI:
Don't worry, I'm completely focused. There is nothing else on my mind.
*Elliot breathes a sigh of relief.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Good. So what's your game plan?
PEPSI:
I'm gonna run around the ring a bit to tire him out, then when the ref's back is turned... POW! Right in the nuts.
*Billy motions a kick with his feet. Elliot hangs his head.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
That's your brilliant plan? You are just going to kick The Guvnor in the nuts?
PEPSI:
Actually, I was going to kick the ref in the nuts, but maybe it would make more sense to kick The Guvnor, I hadn't thought of that.
VON WILDERSPIN:
Why would you kick the ref in the nuts?
PEPSI:
Why not?
*Elliot takes a few slow deep breaths, and begins to softly count to ease his frustration.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
One, two, three...
PEPSI:
Uno, dos, tres...
*Elliot looks up at snarls at Billy.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Enough with the stupid Spanish already!
PEPSI:
You shouldn't be calling Spanish people stupid you racist.
*Elliot's frustration reaches a boiling point. He turns to the bus driver.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
STOP THE BUS NOW!
*The driver slams on the brakes. Elliot storms off the bus and runs into the open field.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
ARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!
*Elliot's screams at the top of his lungs. When he is done, he cracks his neck and gets back on the bus. Billy is busy trying to rearrange the stickers on the Rubik's Cube. Elliot grabs the cube and chucks it out the open window. Billy looks up as Elliot gets all up in his face... Wow, I can't believe I just wrote that, allow me to rephrase. Elliot leans forward and... Gets all up in Billy's face. Sorry it's the best I got, deal with it.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Now you listen and you listen good mister. You are days away from the most important match of your otherwise insignificant career. I know you can't seem to focus on anything for more than 5 seconds, but you better learn how and get your bloody head in the game. If you don't you might just blow this opportunity. If you blow this opportunity than both of our worlds might just come crashing down, and I can not, and will not let that happen. So get Dora The Explorer out of your mind, get the freaking Rubik's cube out of your mind, and get any other thought out of your mind that doesn't involve The Guvnor and the APW North American Championship. Is that understood?
*Biily just stares at Elliot for a moment.*
PEPSI:
You were spitting on me.
*Elliot gives Billy "the look". Not the I love you and want to have your babies look, more like the "I'm going to stab you 17 times with a steak knife look". Don't lie, you know you've gotten it. Billy gets very uncomfortable.*
PEPSI:
All right fine. I'll focus on the match Mr. No Fun, party pooper.
*Billy sits down in his seat and sulks.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Good. Now get some rest. We've got a long drive ahead of us and I've taken the liberty of scheduling an event for you to mingle with the people of Venezuela.
----------------
Maracaibo, Venezuela
Monday, May 6, 2013
*Billy stands on a stage. Behind him there is a sign that reads Feliz Cumpleaños Eduardo (Happy Birthday Eduardo). There are balloons all over the place, and a large birthday cake at the bottom of the stage.*
PEPSI:
With the help of my good friend Dora, I have been brushing up on my Spanish. I would now like to sing the Birthday song to the birthday boy.
*Billy clears his throat. Elliot is at the side of the stage recording a video of Billy's act on his phone. The kids at the party clearly have no idea what the heck Billy just said, but they cheer anyways, because... Well because there kids, and kids are stupid. Oh don't get mad at me for saying it, you all were thinking it, and you know you were.*
PEPSI:
Feliz cumpleaños a ti,
Feliz cumpleaños a ti,
Feliz cumpleaños querido Eduardo,
Feliz cumpleaños a ti.
*Billy's off key singing and mangled Spanish pronounciation has the kids plugging there ears. As Billy finishes the song he does a cartwheel, but ends up landing right onto the giant cake. A little boy which we can assume is Eduardo starts to cry. The next thing we see is a large Venezuelan man throwing Billy and Elliot out the door.*
VENEZUELAN MAN:
Usted arruinó mis hijos cumpleaños. Esos son los peores 20 bolívares que he pasado. Si vuelvo a ver sus caras de nuevo, te mataré. (You ruined my sons birthday. That's the worst 20 bolivars I have ever spent. if I ever see your faces again I will kill you.)
*The man slams the door as Elliot looks at Billy.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
So what did he just say?
PEPSI:
I'm can't be sure, but I think he said, Thank you so much for making my sons birthday so special.
*Elliot glares at Billy and shakes his head.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Just get on the bus. Let's just get to the stadium.
------------------
El José "Pachencho" Romero Stadium,
Monday, May 6, 2013
*Billy and Elliot are backstage at the stadium waiting to cut a promo.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Now, I know I have been very lenient with you in public as of late, but you have to understand how important this promo is. You are in the main event competing for the North American Championship. Your opponent is one of the most popular competitors in the entire APW. I need to know that you can cut a mature and respectful promo.
PEPSI:
Come on Elliot, I thought you would have a little faith in me by now.
VON WILDERSPIN:
Ok, so what are you going to say?
PEPSI:
I'm going to start by talking about his dog ugly face, and finish off by talking about his douchiness.
VON WILDERSPIN:
You call that mature and respectful?
PEPSI:
Fine then. How about this? I can start off by talking about what a pansy he is, and finish off by talking about hammer fisting his big ugly nose.
*Elliot groans and sighs, and then groans again.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Tell you what, I'll handle this one. It's too important for you to mess up. Just stand back, keep your mouth shut and I will show you how it's done.
*Elliot steps in front of the camera, as he does Billy sticks his tongue out at him. Billy stands behind Elliot in front of the camera. The producer gives the cameraman a nod.*
PRODUCER:
Ok fellas, whenever you are ready.
*Elliot looks into the camera and smiles. Billy stands behind him looking rather agitated.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
My dear Guvnor, I hope you understand that we have nothing against you personally. It is the opinion of Billy and I that you are a fine upstanding gentleman.
PEPSI:
Pffft... An upstanding pansy maybe.
*Elliot ignores Billy's interjection.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Billy is honoured to be sharing the ring with such a well rounded, and genuinely talented competitor. He considers it a joy to do battle with the best of the best, and you sir certainly qualify as one of the best.
PEPSI:
Yeah, best of the best in a douchiness competition.
*Elliot rolls his eyes, but maintains his composure.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Your championship reign on Meltdown has been memorable, and admirable. It has been truly remarkable, and you deserve all the accolades due to a champion of your caliber. That is what will make victory so sweet for Billy on Monday. Pinning Roy Speede twice, and Michael Jennings once was wonderful, but a victory over such a man as you will be truly amazing, and mark my words Guvnor, it will be a victory for Billy.
PEPSI:
Darn right! I'm gonna hammer fist him on that big ugly British nose of his.
*Billy motions his fist like a hammer. Elliot ignores him once again.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
I know you are confident Guvnor. I would expect nothing less. Confidence is what separates the good from the great. Being the great champion you are, your confidence is clearly warranted. Yes, your résumé is impressive. Yes, you have defeated some great names. We are impressed, but not convinced. I am not convinced that you have what it takes to defeat the Megastar of the New Generation. You have had a great run, but a new day is approaching. A new generation on Meltdown, the Pepsi Generation. You see Guvnor, you have never faced a man with the determination, tenacity, intestinal fortitude, and the strength of character of Billy Pepsi. This is a man who will never give up. This is a man who will never say die. This is a man who will look danger in the face and laugh.
*Billy squints and looks down on the ground. He suddenly looks rather frightened.*
PEPSI:
Ewwww... There's a big ugly spider on the ground. Somebody kill it!
*Billy squirms like a scared little girl. Elliot calmly stomps on the spider and continues.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
The truth Guvnor is this, Billy is simple better than you. You cannot match his speed, his agility, or his technical prowess. I am sure that in a pub fight after a couple of brews there would be no one who could match you, but inside the squared circle you are simply outclassed by Mr. Pepsi. You can say all you want about his lack of intelligence. You can call him stupid, dumb, idiotic, moronic, foolish, dim witted, mentally deficient, brainless...
*Elliot seems to be enjoying listing the many different descriptions of Billy. It's almost therapeutic from him. Billy cuts in.*
PEPSI:
That's right Guvnor, I may not be the brightest tree on the bulb, but I'm still smarterer than you.
*Therapy session is over for Elliot. Back to reality. He continues with a slightly more edgy tone.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
You were wise in recognizing your mistake of underestimating Mr. Pepsi's abilities. I am sure you will not make the same mistake twice. Unfortunately for you, it matters not whether you take him seriously or not. Nor whether you underestimate him, or not. The end result will still be the same, because he is simply better than you.
PEPSI:
Ha! My Grandma's better than him and she's been dead for 5 years.
*Elliot's face turns red, and he prepares to scold Billy, but catches himself.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Come the end of the night, you will know what we have known for a long time. You will know when you are on your back, looking up at the bright lights shining down. You will know when you hear the referees hand slap the mat not once, not twice, but thrice. You will know when you catch a glimpse out of the corner of your eye of Billy Pepsi with his hand raised in victory. You will know when you hear Billy Pepsi announced as the New North American Champion. And, you will know when you see Billy Pepsi raising the title belt high above his head enjoying the ecstasy of victory, as you taste the agony of defeat. You will then know that Billy Pepsi is the real deal.
PEPSI:
Yeah, and you will know when you look in the mirror and see our ugly face all black and blue from being pounded by my flying fists of fury jerk face.
*Elliot calmly ignores Billy one last time and looks intensely at the camera.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
When all is said and done my friend, you will be sorry you decided to step up and take the Pepsi Challenge.
*Elliot holds the intense stare as Illy grins in the background totally ruining the mood. The producer waves his arms in the air.*
PRODUCER:
And cut...
*Elliot looks at Billy again with "the look". You know which one I mean. Billy's grin quickly disappears.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
All I asked was for you to keep your mouth shut for 5 minutes. Was that so much to ask?
PEPSI:
Hey, I thought I handled myself quite well.
VON WILDERSPIN:
Yeah ok, why don't we ask your Grandma how you handled yourself?
PEPSI:
Why would I ask her. She's been dead for 5 years. That's kind of cold hearted of you, bringing a dead woman into the discussion. That's pretty low Elliot.
VON WILDERSPIN:
But you just brought her up a few minutes ago.
PEPSI:
You're a liar. Liar liar pants on fire.
*Billy and Elliot walk away bickering like a bunch of schoolyard kids. And with that I am done... I really don't have anything left to say... No really I'm done... Seriously there's nothing left here to be said... Why haven't you left yet, it's all over... Geez, can't you let me finish in peace... I'm walking away now, bye!*
Saturday, May 4, 2013
*We see a close up of Elliot Von Wilderspin's face. He has a very intense look on his face.*
VON WILDERPIN:
This is the moment we have been waiting for. The moment of truth. This is the opportunity of a lifetime. The biggest moment of your career. Just think, days from now you have an opportunity to claim the spot at the top of Monday Night Meltdown. You have an opportunity to become the face of APW on Monday nights. You are one win away from forever immortalizing yourself in the history of APW. The only thing standing between you and immortality is a very talented competitor. You must understand a win here is far from guaranteed. To defeat The Guvnor you will need the highest level of focus and determination that you can muster. You will have to push your self harder than you ever have before, and never lose sight of the task at hand. Are you ready?
*Elliot waits for a response from Billy, who is sitting behind him on the bus. Billy appears to be fidgeting with something. Elliot goes impatient and looks over his shoulder.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Well, are you ready?
*Billy hops out of his seat and jumps with glee*
PEPSI:
Aha, I finally did it.
*Billy holds up a Rubik's cube. Each sides colors are perfectly matched. Elliot looks with shock. Could it be? Perhaps Billy is just misunderstood. Maybe he's one of those geniuses who just never excelled, because he was never properly challenged.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Billy, did you just solve a Rubik's Cube.
PEPSI:
What's a Rubik's Cube?
VON WILDERSPIN:
It's the bloody thing in your hand. That's actually a very challenging puzzle. I can't believe you solved it.
PEPSI:
Yeah tell me about it. I don't know why the colours were all mixed up like that. It took me forever to peel the stickers off and put them in there proper place.
*Oh come on. You had to see that one coming. You didn't actually buy all that hidden genius crap. Billy is dumb, end of story. No need for optimism. Elliot clearly is disappointed. He should have known better than to get his hopes up.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Were you even listening to a thing I was saying?
PEPSI:
Of course I was listening. You asked me if I solved a Rubik's Cube.
VON WILDERSPIN:
I mean what I was saying before that.
*Billy thinks for a moment. He scratches his head as he tries to recollect.*
PEPSI:
I think you were saying something about how much my Spanish has improved.
*Of course by now you should know what comes next... You guessed it, Facepalm! Elliot smacks himself in the forehead in frustration.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
See, you were not listening to me. I was trying to tell you how important it is for you to be focused on your match with The Guvnor on Monday.
PEPSI:
Don't worry, I'm completely focused. There is nothing else on my mind.
*Elliot breathes a sigh of relief.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Good. So what's your game plan?
PEPSI:
I'm gonna run around the ring a bit to tire him out, then when the ref's back is turned... POW! Right in the nuts.
*Billy motions a kick with his feet. Elliot hangs his head.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
That's your brilliant plan? You are just going to kick The Guvnor in the nuts?
PEPSI:
Actually, I was going to kick the ref in the nuts, but maybe it would make more sense to kick The Guvnor, I hadn't thought of that.
VON WILDERSPIN:
Why would you kick the ref in the nuts?
PEPSI:
Why not?
*Elliot takes a few slow deep breaths, and begins to softly count to ease his frustration.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
One, two, three...
PEPSI:
Uno, dos, tres...
*Elliot looks up at snarls at Billy.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Enough with the stupid Spanish already!
PEPSI:
You shouldn't be calling Spanish people stupid you racist.
*Elliot's frustration reaches a boiling point. He turns to the bus driver.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
STOP THE BUS NOW!
*The driver slams on the brakes. Elliot storms off the bus and runs into the open field.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
ARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!
*Elliot's screams at the top of his lungs. When he is done, he cracks his neck and gets back on the bus. Billy is busy trying to rearrange the stickers on the Rubik's Cube. Elliot grabs the cube and chucks it out the open window. Billy looks up as Elliot gets all up in his face... Wow, I can't believe I just wrote that, allow me to rephrase. Elliot leans forward and... Gets all up in Billy's face. Sorry it's the best I got, deal with it.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Now you listen and you listen good mister. You are days away from the most important match of your otherwise insignificant career. I know you can't seem to focus on anything for more than 5 seconds, but you better learn how and get your bloody head in the game. If you don't you might just blow this opportunity. If you blow this opportunity than both of our worlds might just come crashing down, and I can not, and will not let that happen. So get Dora The Explorer out of your mind, get the freaking Rubik's cube out of your mind, and get any other thought out of your mind that doesn't involve The Guvnor and the APW North American Championship. Is that understood?
*Biily just stares at Elliot for a moment.*
PEPSI:
You were spitting on me.
*Elliot gives Billy "the look". Not the I love you and want to have your babies look, more like the "I'm going to stab you 17 times with a steak knife look". Don't lie, you know you've gotten it. Billy gets very uncomfortable.*
PEPSI:
All right fine. I'll focus on the match Mr. No Fun, party pooper.
*Billy sits down in his seat and sulks.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Good. Now get some rest. We've got a long drive ahead of us and I've taken the liberty of scheduling an event for you to mingle with the people of Venezuela.
----------------
Maracaibo, Venezuela
Monday, May 6, 2013
*Billy stands on a stage. Behind him there is a sign that reads Feliz Cumpleaños Eduardo (Happy Birthday Eduardo). There are balloons all over the place, and a large birthday cake at the bottom of the stage.*
PEPSI:
With the help of my good friend Dora, I have been brushing up on my Spanish. I would now like to sing the Birthday song to the birthday boy.
*Billy clears his throat. Elliot is at the side of the stage recording a video of Billy's act on his phone. The kids at the party clearly have no idea what the heck Billy just said, but they cheer anyways, because... Well because there kids, and kids are stupid. Oh don't get mad at me for saying it, you all were thinking it, and you know you were.*
PEPSI:
Feliz cumpleaños a ti,
Feliz cumpleaños a ti,
Feliz cumpleaños querido Eduardo,
Feliz cumpleaños a ti.
*Billy's off key singing and mangled Spanish pronounciation has the kids plugging there ears. As Billy finishes the song he does a cartwheel, but ends up landing right onto the giant cake. A little boy which we can assume is Eduardo starts to cry. The next thing we see is a large Venezuelan man throwing Billy and Elliot out the door.*
VENEZUELAN MAN:
Usted arruinó mis hijos cumpleaños. Esos son los peores 20 bolívares que he pasado. Si vuelvo a ver sus caras de nuevo, te mataré. (You ruined my sons birthday. That's the worst 20 bolivars I have ever spent. if I ever see your faces again I will kill you.)
*The man slams the door as Elliot looks at Billy.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
So what did he just say?
PEPSI:
I'm can't be sure, but I think he said, Thank you so much for making my sons birthday so special.
*Elliot glares at Billy and shakes his head.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Just get on the bus. Let's just get to the stadium.
------------------
El José "Pachencho" Romero Stadium,
Monday, May 6, 2013
*Billy and Elliot are backstage at the stadium waiting to cut a promo.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Now, I know I have been very lenient with you in public as of late, but you have to understand how important this promo is. You are in the main event competing for the North American Championship. Your opponent is one of the most popular competitors in the entire APW. I need to know that you can cut a mature and respectful promo.
PEPSI:
Come on Elliot, I thought you would have a little faith in me by now.
VON WILDERSPIN:
Ok, so what are you going to say?
PEPSI:
I'm going to start by talking about his dog ugly face, and finish off by talking about his douchiness.
VON WILDERSPIN:
You call that mature and respectful?
PEPSI:
Fine then. How about this? I can start off by talking about what a pansy he is, and finish off by talking about hammer fisting his big ugly nose.
*Elliot groans and sighs, and then groans again.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Tell you what, I'll handle this one. It's too important for you to mess up. Just stand back, keep your mouth shut and I will show you how it's done.
*Elliot steps in front of the camera, as he does Billy sticks his tongue out at him. Billy stands behind Elliot in front of the camera. The producer gives the cameraman a nod.*
PRODUCER:
Ok fellas, whenever you are ready.
*Elliot looks into the camera and smiles. Billy stands behind him looking rather agitated.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
My dear Guvnor, I hope you understand that we have nothing against you personally. It is the opinion of Billy and I that you are a fine upstanding gentleman.
PEPSI:
Pffft... An upstanding pansy maybe.
*Elliot ignores Billy's interjection.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Billy is honoured to be sharing the ring with such a well rounded, and genuinely talented competitor. He considers it a joy to do battle with the best of the best, and you sir certainly qualify as one of the best.
PEPSI:
Yeah, best of the best in a douchiness competition.
*Elliot rolls his eyes, but maintains his composure.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Your championship reign on Meltdown has been memorable, and admirable. It has been truly remarkable, and you deserve all the accolades due to a champion of your caliber. That is what will make victory so sweet for Billy on Monday. Pinning Roy Speede twice, and Michael Jennings once was wonderful, but a victory over such a man as you will be truly amazing, and mark my words Guvnor, it will be a victory for Billy.
PEPSI:
Darn right! I'm gonna hammer fist him on that big ugly British nose of his.
*Billy motions his fist like a hammer. Elliot ignores him once again.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
I know you are confident Guvnor. I would expect nothing less. Confidence is what separates the good from the great. Being the great champion you are, your confidence is clearly warranted. Yes, your résumé is impressive. Yes, you have defeated some great names. We are impressed, but not convinced. I am not convinced that you have what it takes to defeat the Megastar of the New Generation. You have had a great run, but a new day is approaching. A new generation on Meltdown, the Pepsi Generation. You see Guvnor, you have never faced a man with the determination, tenacity, intestinal fortitude, and the strength of character of Billy Pepsi. This is a man who will never give up. This is a man who will never say die. This is a man who will look danger in the face and laugh.
*Billy squints and looks down on the ground. He suddenly looks rather frightened.*
PEPSI:
Ewwww... There's a big ugly spider on the ground. Somebody kill it!
*Billy squirms like a scared little girl. Elliot calmly stomps on the spider and continues.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
The truth Guvnor is this, Billy is simple better than you. You cannot match his speed, his agility, or his technical prowess. I am sure that in a pub fight after a couple of brews there would be no one who could match you, but inside the squared circle you are simply outclassed by Mr. Pepsi. You can say all you want about his lack of intelligence. You can call him stupid, dumb, idiotic, moronic, foolish, dim witted, mentally deficient, brainless...
*Elliot seems to be enjoying listing the many different descriptions of Billy. It's almost therapeutic from him. Billy cuts in.*
PEPSI:
That's right Guvnor, I may not be the brightest tree on the bulb, but I'm still smarterer than you.
*Therapy session is over for Elliot. Back to reality. He continues with a slightly more edgy tone.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
You were wise in recognizing your mistake of underestimating Mr. Pepsi's abilities. I am sure you will not make the same mistake twice. Unfortunately for you, it matters not whether you take him seriously or not. Nor whether you underestimate him, or not. The end result will still be the same, because he is simply better than you.
PEPSI:
Ha! My Grandma's better than him and she's been dead for 5 years.
*Elliot's face turns red, and he prepares to scold Billy, but catches himself.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
Come the end of the night, you will know what we have known for a long time. You will know when you are on your back, looking up at the bright lights shining down. You will know when you hear the referees hand slap the mat not once, not twice, but thrice. You will know when you catch a glimpse out of the corner of your eye of Billy Pepsi with his hand raised in victory. You will know when you hear Billy Pepsi announced as the New North American Champion. And, you will know when you see Billy Pepsi raising the title belt high above his head enjoying the ecstasy of victory, as you taste the agony of defeat. You will then know that Billy Pepsi is the real deal.
PEPSI:
Yeah, and you will know when you look in the mirror and see our ugly face all black and blue from being pounded by my flying fists of fury jerk face.
*Elliot calmly ignores Billy one last time and looks intensely at the camera.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
When all is said and done my friend, you will be sorry you decided to step up and take the Pepsi Challenge.
*Elliot holds the intense stare as Illy grins in the background totally ruining the mood. The producer waves his arms in the air.*
PRODUCER:
And cut...
*Elliot looks at Billy again with "the look". You know which one I mean. Billy's grin quickly disappears.*
VON WILDERSPIN:
All I asked was for you to keep your mouth shut for 5 minutes. Was that so much to ask?
PEPSI:
Hey, I thought I handled myself quite well.
VON WILDERSPIN:
Yeah ok, why don't we ask your Grandma how you handled yourself?
PEPSI:
Why would I ask her. She's been dead for 5 years. That's kind of cold hearted of you, bringing a dead woman into the discussion. That's pretty low Elliot.
VON WILDERSPIN:
But you just brought her up a few minutes ago.
PEPSI:
You're a liar. Liar liar pants on fire.
*Billy and Elliot walk away bickering like a bunch of schoolyard kids. And with that I am done... I really don't have anything left to say... No really I'm done... Seriously there's nothing left here to be said... Why haven't you left yet, it's all over... Geez, can't you let me finish in peace... I'm walking away now, bye!*
