Post by Sang Réal on May 8, 2013 9:55:12 GMT -4
“Sinfonies de Fanfares: Rondeau” by Jean-Joseph Mouret plays to a montage of the second generation tag team, Sang Réal, Connor Murphy and Gabriel Krown, walking down the aisle or in action in the ring. The montage ends with the two raising their arms after a win. As the image of the two wrestlers with the arms raised in victory freezes, the words “Roll Call” appear as if written in gold cursive letters. Underneath the word “Roll Call”, “hosted by Sang Réal” appears in a smaller cursive style.
The Roll Call set is reminiscent of the set used for Masterpiece Theater, with those high backed leather chairs, and a fireplace and mantle with bookshelves in the background. Above the mantle is a portrait of a four leaf clover with a crown in the center with the DNA double helix behind it.
Connor Murphy is wearing a three piece navy blue suit with dark green tie and his signature round, gold framed sunglasses. In his hand is a sifter of brandy. Gabriel Krown is seated in the other chair and is dressed in a black two piece suit with a purple tie.
The music stops and the words fade from the screen as Murphy adjusts his tie.
Murphy: “Welcome to the most popular, and only, webshow on the Action Packed Wrestling website. He gestures to the set This is Roll Call!”
Krown: “That’s right world. We’re back on a company that, against all logic and common sense, is actually hosting this show on its website. No more Youtube for us. No more cat videos for us.”
Murphy: “Now for those of you who don’t know, Roll Call is named after my older brother, Mark’s, reoccurring need to run down members of the roster of whatever company he happens to be in at the moment.”
Krown: “We thought about naming the show after my brother, Noah’s, reoccurring segment, but legal advisors frowned upon the possible legal ramifications and law suits that could arise from “Randomly Attack Minimum Wagers For No Reason”. It would also probably get us banned from some places. So we went with his idea.”
Murphy: “That’s right. See, where as I my brother was just mocking the roster for no reason other than to prove he was clever, our version is more classy and sophisticated.”
Krown claps his hands together and points at the camera.
Krown: “So it is in that spirit that we present this special episode of Roll Call.”
The youngest son of the Krown line reaches into his jacket and pulls out a small piece of paper.
Krown: “Now my partner here is a bit of a lady’s man, a bit of a player, a smooth mac daddy pimp playa.”
Murphy smiles and shrugs.
Murphy: “Guilty.”
Krown: “So we now ask the question everyone has been wondering about. Today, we look at the lovely ladies of the APW and ask the question “Connor Murphy, would you f**k her?”.”
An instrumental version of “Spanish Flea” by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, best known as the song used to introduce bachelor’s on The Dating Game, begins to play as the words “Would You F**K Her?” appear on the screen.
Krown makes a cut motion across his neck. He looks down at the piece of paper in his hand and then back up.
Murphy: “Now I know many people out there would consider this sexist or exploitive of women and all that. However, we counter those accusations by countering is it any worse that Michael Lively promo? I am complimenting these women. And let’s be honest, most of the fans out there probably want to have sex with these lovely ladies.”
Krown: “So let’s get started finding a girl you’d plow so hard that whoever pulled you out would become King of England And as always, these will be alphabetically, because it’s just easier.”
The first woman to be shown is “the Hong Kong Sensation” Amy Zing. Amy is show in a full screen image of her entrance. She stands on the turnbuckle, her arms spread out wide. The image shrinks down to the lower left corner of the screen so Sang Réal can be shown again.
Krown: “First up, we have the only woman on Thursday Night Overdrive and one of the most popular women in the company, Amy Zing. So what do you say?”
The second generation wrestler of Irish decent nods a bit.
Murphy: “Oh Amy’s a definite yes. Long before Ireland knew of Asian women, the Murphy clan had a thing for Asian girls. My brother Mark pretty much ruined his career on Asian girls of questionable age. And we all no how hot she looks naked, so yes.”
The screen is filled with an image of Aubrey Jessica Parker. The image of AJP is not that recent as it shows her holding the APW Tag Team Championship over her head after a tag team victory. The image shrinks into the lower left hand corner.
Krown: “And we come to another familiar face. What do you say about the always opinionated Aubrey J. Parker?”
Murphy looks at Krown.
Murphy: “Has she ever been a yes?”
Krown: “I don’t think so.”
Murphy: “Well the trend continues. I just can’t stand the sound of that woman’s voice. I see why Evan traded up. Aubrey is a catch-22 as the amount of alcohol I would need to drink to make that a yes would kill me, so no.”
Krown: “And our first no of the night. Will it be the only one?”
A new image fills the screen. It is APW backstage interviewer Cindy Shannon. She is shown in the image holding a mic in her hand and standing backstage, clearly before an interview. Again, the image shrinks to the lower left hand corner.
Krown: “Here we have our first non-wrestler to make the list. She’s got that wholesome girl-next-door vibe. She is Cindy Shannon. What do you say Connor?”
Connor leans his head back and sighs, then lowers it back down.
Murphy: “It’s a given yes. You have to factor in the whole girl-next-door type. Once that enters the equation, it cancels anything else because everyone wants the girl-next-door. Girl-next-door is an automatic yes every time.”
Krown: “And who says you don’t learn things from wrestling?”
Another interviewer’s image fills the screen. This one is Meltdown interviewer Hannah Storm. Hannah is shown in a locker room with a mic in hand. Like the others, the image then shrinks to the lower left corner of the screen to show Murphy and Krown again.
Krown: “What about Monday Night Meltdown interviewer Hannah Storm?”
Murphy: “Hannah’s going to be a yes. Though with co-workers it just becomes a thing and that leads to all sorts of problems.”
The image of Kaylyn James Evans now appears on the screen. She is holding the APW Suicidal Championship over her head in an image of the moment she won it from AJP. The image, as all the others, shrinks to the lower left corner.
Krown: “We come to yet another familiar face here. She is “the Perfect Ten” Kaylyn James Evans. What about her Connor Murphy?”
It is at this point that the son of Sheamus Murphy rubs her chin in thought. After a moment, he stops and shakes his head.
Murphy: “You know, KJE is going to be a no. And it is for a few reasons. The first is that, again, this is Chris Vaude’s ex-wife and that means I’d have touch something he did. The other reason is, honestly, who the hell hasn’t tapped that? And look at who she’s been with. I mean geez. She traded one loser only to hook up with more losers. She is just the girl who can’t say no, but I am saying no as my answer.”
Evan Envi’s manager, Jenny Knite’s image fills the screen. The image is of Jenny holding the APW Overdrive Championship in her hands at ringside during one of Evan’s matches.
Krown: “And now we the third most important lady in the life of Evan Envi, after the title he probably sleeps with and dry humps, and his overbearing sister, his manager Jenny Knite. What do you say?”
Murphy nods.
Murphy: “I say yes. Jenny’s definitely a looker. Evan’s got to stop making out with a title or he might end up losing another girl.”
Another image fills the screen. This image is of Niobe “Nightmare” Martin. The image of “Nightmare” is of her walking to the ring on Monday Night Meltdown. Like the rest, the image shrinks to the lower left hand corner.
Krown: “So now what about Tommy Knoxville’s girlfriend and Robina Hood’s punching bag, “Nightmare” Niobe Martin? What do you think? Is she a yes or no?”
Murphy leans forward in his chair a little. He rubs his chin again.
Murphy: “Here is another woman, like KJE, seems to lack confidence. I mean she could do better than Tommy Knoxville. She could date a drifter, or a registered sex offender, a creepy guy who owns a van, or some guy she meets on Craigslist who will either kill her or steal her kidney, or even a prison inmate. However, as she sort of looks like a gutter slut I’d expect to see on a street corner, I am going to say no as I really don’t feel like getting tested for every STD known to man after her.”
The next image to fill the screen is that of “the Future of Monday Night Meltdown”. Robina Hood is shown in the ring after a victory. She has an arm raised in victory. The image was taken from after the no disqualification she had with Amy Zing. The image shrinks to the lower left corner.
Krown: “Next up, we have Sienna Harrison’s pet project. She is the questionably sane, emotionally scarred Robina Hood. What say you of her my friend?”
Murphy: “I am going to say no. I am not into Goth chicks. I am not a plain looking girl who can barely act and has no reaction to anything, so not going for a vampire. She strikes me as the type of person who’s probably killed small animals just because nothing good was on television. Robina is a definite no.”
Krown: “Wise move.”
The last woman to be shown is Monday Night Meltdown General Manager Sienna Harrison. The GM is show in the ring with a mic clearly talking about something related to Meltdown. As with all the previous pictures, this last one shrinks down to the bottom left corner of the screen.
Krown: “Finally we come to the last, but certainly not the least or she’d never let us hear the end of it, woman of Action Packed Wrestling. She is the most important human woman in Evan Envi’s life, the woman holding Robina Hood’s leash and the current General Manager of Monday Night Meltdown. Connor Murphy, what is it going to be for Sienna Harrison?”
Slowly, Murphy rubs his hand though his hair and down over his cheek to his chin. He rubs his chin a bit then turns to Krown.
Murphy: “She is the Meltdown General Manager, isn’t she?”
Krown: “Yes she is.”
Murphy: “I am pretty sure that makes it an automatic yes. You have to do the boss.”
Krown: “Wouldn’t it be a sexual harassment thing, like that Michael Douglas and Demi Moore movie?”
Murphy: “Well honestly, if you don’t want management ot be sexually harassed, don’t hire Demi Moore.”
Krown: “That makes sense.”
Murphy: “I know right?”
Krown: “So what do you say in regards to Sienna Harrison?”
Murphy: “Well I’ll be honest, that constant need to talk is a turn off, unless she talks dirty in bed. However, the GM thing makes it a yes. So Sienna Harrison rates a yes.”
The images of the nine women of the APW appears on the screen along with “yes” or “no” written across their picture depending upon Murphy’s answer. The images fade to reveal Murphy and Krown once more.
Krown: “So that is five yeses and four nos. Very close this year, but the yeses managed to win by one. Will next year’s be different? Unless the APW gets some more women signed up on the roster by next year, then the answer is probably not. I don’t know, maybe a Women Championship would help, but I doubt it.”
Krown crumples up the paper and tosses it behind him.
Murphy: “As always, we’d like to thank the ladies of Action Packed Wrestling for being here so I can judge whether or not I would nail them.”
Krown: “You know your fans are objectifying you, so why can’t we?”
Murphy: “I am Connor Murphy.”
Krown: “I am Gabriel Krown.”
Murphy: “We are Sang Réal and this has been Roll Call.”
“Sinfonies de Fanfares: Rondeau” by Jean-Joseph Mouret replays as “Roll Call hosted by Sang Réal” reappears on the screen, which then fades to black. The credits roll, followed by all copyright and legal notes before the APW logo flashes on the screen and then fades to black as well.
The Roll Call set is reminiscent of the set used for Masterpiece Theater, with those high backed leather chairs, and a fireplace and mantle with bookshelves in the background. Above the mantle is a portrait of a four leaf clover with a crown in the center with the DNA double helix behind it.
Connor Murphy is wearing a three piece navy blue suit with dark green tie and his signature round, gold framed sunglasses. In his hand is a sifter of brandy. Gabriel Krown is seated in the other chair and is dressed in a black two piece suit with a purple tie.
The music stops and the words fade from the screen as Murphy adjusts his tie.
Murphy: “Welcome to the most popular, and only, webshow on the Action Packed Wrestling website. He gestures to the set This is Roll Call!”
Krown: “That’s right world. We’re back on a company that, against all logic and common sense, is actually hosting this show on its website. No more Youtube for us. No more cat videos for us.”
Murphy: “Now for those of you who don’t know, Roll Call is named after my older brother, Mark’s, reoccurring need to run down members of the roster of whatever company he happens to be in at the moment.”
Krown: “We thought about naming the show after my brother, Noah’s, reoccurring segment, but legal advisors frowned upon the possible legal ramifications and law suits that could arise from “Randomly Attack Minimum Wagers For No Reason”. It would also probably get us banned from some places. So we went with his idea.”
Murphy: “That’s right. See, where as I my brother was just mocking the roster for no reason other than to prove he was clever, our version is more classy and sophisticated.”
Krown claps his hands together and points at the camera.
Krown: “So it is in that spirit that we present this special episode of Roll Call.”
The youngest son of the Krown line reaches into his jacket and pulls out a small piece of paper.
Krown: “Now my partner here is a bit of a lady’s man, a bit of a player, a smooth mac daddy pimp playa.”
Murphy smiles and shrugs.
Murphy: “Guilty.”
Krown: “So we now ask the question everyone has been wondering about. Today, we look at the lovely ladies of the APW and ask the question “Connor Murphy, would you f**k her?”.”
An instrumental version of “Spanish Flea” by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, best known as the song used to introduce bachelor’s on The Dating Game, begins to play as the words “Would You F**K Her?” appear on the screen.
Krown makes a cut motion across his neck. He looks down at the piece of paper in his hand and then back up.
Murphy: “Now I know many people out there would consider this sexist or exploitive of women and all that. However, we counter those accusations by countering is it any worse that Michael Lively promo? I am complimenting these women. And let’s be honest, most of the fans out there probably want to have sex with these lovely ladies.”
Krown: “So let’s get started finding a girl you’d plow so hard that whoever pulled you out would become King of England And as always, these will be alphabetically, because it’s just easier.”
The first woman to be shown is “the Hong Kong Sensation” Amy Zing. Amy is show in a full screen image of her entrance. She stands on the turnbuckle, her arms spread out wide. The image shrinks down to the lower left corner of the screen so Sang Réal can be shown again.
Krown: “First up, we have the only woman on Thursday Night Overdrive and one of the most popular women in the company, Amy Zing. So what do you say?”
The second generation wrestler of Irish decent nods a bit.
Murphy: “Oh Amy’s a definite yes. Long before Ireland knew of Asian women, the Murphy clan had a thing for Asian girls. My brother Mark pretty much ruined his career on Asian girls of questionable age. And we all no how hot she looks naked, so yes.”
The screen is filled with an image of Aubrey Jessica Parker. The image of AJP is not that recent as it shows her holding the APW Tag Team Championship over her head after a tag team victory. The image shrinks into the lower left hand corner.
Krown: “And we come to another familiar face. What do you say about the always opinionated Aubrey J. Parker?”
Murphy looks at Krown.
Murphy: “Has she ever been a yes?”
Krown: “I don’t think so.”
Murphy: “Well the trend continues. I just can’t stand the sound of that woman’s voice. I see why Evan traded up. Aubrey is a catch-22 as the amount of alcohol I would need to drink to make that a yes would kill me, so no.”
Krown: “And our first no of the night. Will it be the only one?”
A new image fills the screen. It is APW backstage interviewer Cindy Shannon. She is shown in the image holding a mic in her hand and standing backstage, clearly before an interview. Again, the image shrinks to the lower left hand corner.
Krown: “Here we have our first non-wrestler to make the list. She’s got that wholesome girl-next-door vibe. She is Cindy Shannon. What do you say Connor?”
Connor leans his head back and sighs, then lowers it back down.
Murphy: “It’s a given yes. You have to factor in the whole girl-next-door type. Once that enters the equation, it cancels anything else because everyone wants the girl-next-door. Girl-next-door is an automatic yes every time.”
Krown: “And who says you don’t learn things from wrestling?”
Another interviewer’s image fills the screen. This one is Meltdown interviewer Hannah Storm. Hannah is shown in a locker room with a mic in hand. Like the others, the image then shrinks to the lower left corner of the screen to show Murphy and Krown again.
Krown: “What about Monday Night Meltdown interviewer Hannah Storm?”
Murphy: “Hannah’s going to be a yes. Though with co-workers it just becomes a thing and that leads to all sorts of problems.”
The image of Kaylyn James Evans now appears on the screen. She is holding the APW Suicidal Championship over her head in an image of the moment she won it from AJP. The image, as all the others, shrinks to the lower left corner.
Krown: “We come to yet another familiar face here. She is “the Perfect Ten” Kaylyn James Evans. What about her Connor Murphy?”
It is at this point that the son of Sheamus Murphy rubs her chin in thought. After a moment, he stops and shakes his head.
Murphy: “You know, KJE is going to be a no. And it is for a few reasons. The first is that, again, this is Chris Vaude’s ex-wife and that means I’d have touch something he did. The other reason is, honestly, who the hell hasn’t tapped that? And look at who she’s been with. I mean geez. She traded one loser only to hook up with more losers. She is just the girl who can’t say no, but I am saying no as my answer.”
Evan Envi’s manager, Jenny Knite’s image fills the screen. The image is of Jenny holding the APW Overdrive Championship in her hands at ringside during one of Evan’s matches.
Krown: “And now we the third most important lady in the life of Evan Envi, after the title he probably sleeps with and dry humps, and his overbearing sister, his manager Jenny Knite. What do you say?”
Murphy nods.
Murphy: “I say yes. Jenny’s definitely a looker. Evan’s got to stop making out with a title or he might end up losing another girl.”
Another image fills the screen. This image is of Niobe “Nightmare” Martin. The image of “Nightmare” is of her walking to the ring on Monday Night Meltdown. Like the rest, the image shrinks to the lower left hand corner.
Krown: “So now what about Tommy Knoxville’s girlfriend and Robina Hood’s punching bag, “Nightmare” Niobe Martin? What do you think? Is she a yes or no?”
Murphy leans forward in his chair a little. He rubs his chin again.
Murphy: “Here is another woman, like KJE, seems to lack confidence. I mean she could do better than Tommy Knoxville. She could date a drifter, or a registered sex offender, a creepy guy who owns a van, or some guy she meets on Craigslist who will either kill her or steal her kidney, or even a prison inmate. However, as she sort of looks like a gutter slut I’d expect to see on a street corner, I am going to say no as I really don’t feel like getting tested for every STD known to man after her.”
The next image to fill the screen is that of “the Future of Monday Night Meltdown”. Robina Hood is shown in the ring after a victory. She has an arm raised in victory. The image was taken from after the no disqualification she had with Amy Zing. The image shrinks to the lower left corner.
Krown: “Next up, we have Sienna Harrison’s pet project. She is the questionably sane, emotionally scarred Robina Hood. What say you of her my friend?”
Murphy: “I am going to say no. I am not into Goth chicks. I am not a plain looking girl who can barely act and has no reaction to anything, so not going for a vampire. She strikes me as the type of person who’s probably killed small animals just because nothing good was on television. Robina is a definite no.”
Krown: “Wise move.”
The last woman to be shown is Monday Night Meltdown General Manager Sienna Harrison. The GM is show in the ring with a mic clearly talking about something related to Meltdown. As with all the previous pictures, this last one shrinks down to the bottom left corner of the screen.
Krown: “Finally we come to the last, but certainly not the least or she’d never let us hear the end of it, woman of Action Packed Wrestling. She is the most important human woman in Evan Envi’s life, the woman holding Robina Hood’s leash and the current General Manager of Monday Night Meltdown. Connor Murphy, what is it going to be for Sienna Harrison?”
Slowly, Murphy rubs his hand though his hair and down over his cheek to his chin. He rubs his chin a bit then turns to Krown.
Murphy: “She is the Meltdown General Manager, isn’t she?”
Krown: “Yes she is.”
Murphy: “I am pretty sure that makes it an automatic yes. You have to do the boss.”
Krown: “Wouldn’t it be a sexual harassment thing, like that Michael Douglas and Demi Moore movie?”
Murphy: “Well honestly, if you don’t want management ot be sexually harassed, don’t hire Demi Moore.”
Krown: “That makes sense.”
Murphy: “I know right?”
Krown: “So what do you say in regards to Sienna Harrison?”
Murphy: “Well I’ll be honest, that constant need to talk is a turn off, unless she talks dirty in bed. However, the GM thing makes it a yes. So Sienna Harrison rates a yes.”
The images of the nine women of the APW appears on the screen along with “yes” or “no” written across their picture depending upon Murphy’s answer. The images fade to reveal Murphy and Krown once more.
Krown: “So that is five yeses and four nos. Very close this year, but the yeses managed to win by one. Will next year’s be different? Unless the APW gets some more women signed up on the roster by next year, then the answer is probably not. I don’t know, maybe a Women Championship would help, but I doubt it.”
Krown crumples up the paper and tosses it behind him.
Murphy: “As always, we’d like to thank the ladies of Action Packed Wrestling for being here so I can judge whether or not I would nail them.”
Krown: “You know your fans are objectifying you, so why can’t we?”
Murphy: “I am Connor Murphy.”
Krown: “I am Gabriel Krown.”
Murphy: “We are Sang Réal and this has been Roll Call.”
“Sinfonies de Fanfares: Rondeau” by Jean-Joseph Mouret replays as “Roll Call hosted by Sang Réal” reappears on the screen, which then fades to black. The credits roll, followed by all copyright and legal notes before the APW logo flashes on the screen and then fades to black as well.
