Post by C.J. Gates on May 18, 2013 12:38:42 GMT -4
"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
"That's a phrase that has been going through my head as of late. No matter what I do, it seems like I'm taking two steps back each time I manage to do something in the name of good. It seems like no matter what I do, there are others around that just fill in the gaps.
"So what makes this weeks match any different? What makes this Mayhem different from any other match I've wrestled? Sure, there's a World Heavyweight title involved, but it's still three men who have basked in the glory of being hated against one man who is constantly carrying the banner of good, fighting for the people.
"If I can't make a difference, why should I keep fighting it? Why should I keep going on the path that I'm going? One man can only do so much, especially when there is no one to watch my back. So why should I keep playing the Batman role to all of these villains?
"What's stopping me from just throwing my hands up and giving up?
"The fans? Probably. At least they have my back, though they can not help me inside of that ring, and as much as they drive me to compete, there becomes a moment when my health and well being can't be supported by the cheering fans. There's going to be a moment when those cheers and chants can't make up for the bumps, bruises and blood loss that I go through.
"Maybe it's the wins that drive me? Maybe, as much as I want to do good, I am driven by the glory of success. I guess it's always possible, and maybe that's why I just can't give up and join them. Maybe I continue to fight against them all because I hope that at some point, something will give and I will end up winning.
"Whatever the reason is, there's something stopping me from giving up.
"There's something keeping me going.
"Even though I continue to think that it would be easier to just give in and join the dark side. Turn in my do-gooder card for an evil deck and go from there. Then I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I pleased, and I would surely be able to rest easier knowing I wouldn't be spitting up blood on a weekly basis.
"So what makes this week different?
"What's stopping me from just dropping it all?
"Who knows.
"I guess we'll have to wait and find out together."
"Here we are," Vincent James says as he and C.J. Gates walk up to the back door of a small auditorium.
"Where are we?" Gates asks, looking around. "You still haven't told me what the big surprise of the day is."
"You'll find out soon enough," James says with a smile as he opens the door. The two men walk into the building and after a few moments, the buzz of speech can be heard.
"Are we in a mall or something?"
"Not quite," James says with a smile. James ushers Gates toward a pair of black curtains where Gates pauses after looking out.
"Are those..."
"Fans?" James asks. "You bet they are."
"What's this all about?" Gates asks.
"Well, you've been wondering what is the point of everything you do," James answers. "You keep asking why you shouldn't just throw in the towel and become Delikado's next altar boy."
"I never said anything about being an altar boy," Gates shakes his head.
"It doesn't matter," James says with a smile. "The point is that you wanted to know why you do what you do, so I decided to arrange it."
"You didn't have to."
"I wanted to."
"Here he is ladies and gentlemen," a voice says over the loudspeakers. "One of the men fighting for the APW World Heavyweight title, C.J. Gates!" Loud cheers can be heard as Gates looks to James, who smiles and gestures out the curtain. Gates takes a moment before turning and walking out of the curtains.
The cheers grow louder and a "C.J. Gates" chant begins to rise up as Gates raises his arms into the air, waving to the fans that have come out to see him. He walks over to a table flanked by two security guards and sits down.
"Wow," Gates mutters under his breath as the first fan is let forward by a third security guard. The fan quickly makes his way to the table holding a picture of C.J. Gates in action.
"You're such an awesome wrestler," the fan gushes. "The way you can turn the tides of a match, it's so exciting to watch."
"Thanks," Gates says as he signs his name on the picture. "Glad you've enjoyed it."
"Man, we all have," the fan says as he picks up his newly signed picture. "Thanks."
The fan moves along as another is pointed toward the table. She quickly makes her way forward wearing a C.J. Gates "Go Big or Go Home" T-shirt.
"Oh my God, I can't believe I'm actually meeting you," she cries with a large smile on her face. "You're my favorite wrestler."
"I'm always glad to meet my fans," Gates says to her as he signs a picture. He slides it across the table and the woman looks down at it before looking back up at him.
"You're much better in person," she says, blushing, before turning and walking away, squealing silently.
The third fan makes his way forward, wearing his own cowboy hat and carrying a magazine with him. "Loved your article," he says as he places the magazine down on the table. Gates slides it toward himself.
"Oh man," Gates says with a chuckle. "I didn't think anyone read this thing."
"I only bought this one because you were in it," the man says with a laugh. "I wanted to hear your thoughts on everything, including your excellent choice of head wear."
Gates chuckles and touches the tip of his own hat. "Fair enough. I didn't think there were too many that knew about my article in 'The Hat' magazine." Gates signs the front of the magazine - a picture of him - and slides it back to the fan.
"You kidding? You gave great insight into why you wear the hats that you do. What made you do the interview?"
"Move along," one of the security guards behind Gates says. Gates looks up at the guard and then back to the fan.
"Long story short, it was a few co-workers who gave me the idea."
"Awesome," the fan says before moving along away from the table. Gates shakes his head with a smile on his face as the next fan makes his way forward wearing a Gates T-shirt and a replica APW title belt.
"Big fan," the fan says sliding a picture toward Gates. "I bought this title after you beat Biggs and have been cheering for you to get back to that point ever since. Should have had it at Rasslemania."
"But I let you down, right?" Gates asks, signing the picture.
"Not at all," the fan disagrees. "Level One screwed you. Anyone who has a brain can see that."
"Well, thank you," Gates says with a smile.
"No, thank you. And good luck at Mayhem. I'm sure you'll get Level One back." The fan collects his picture and walks away from the table.
"Thanks," Gates calls after him. The next fan begins to make their way to the table.
"You might be a godsend," the fan says while he waits. "I've been watching APW for awhile now, and it always seems to be dominated by the baddest of the bad or by people pretending to be good. But you, you are the definition of good."
"I don't know if I'd say I'm a godsend," Gates says.
"You give people hope," the fan replies. Gates opens his mouth to speak, but the fan continues. "Forget anything about any losses you might have, you still give people hope. You still give us someone to cheer for."
"Well, thank you," Gates says as the two men shake hands one more time and the fan moves along. The next fan, an older man, comes up to the table with a picture of C.J. in his hands.
"Thank you so much for doing this," the man says. "My son is a huge fan of yours and this is the perfect birthday present for him."
"Anything for my fans," Gates says as he signs the picture.
"He looks up to you and is always cheering you on each week."
"How old is your son?" Gates asks.
"Ten," the man responds and Gates nods.
"Isn't that a bit young to be watching wrestling?"
The man smiles. "My wife and I have had the same thought, but it's not too bad. I mean, at least he's looking up to you and not someone like Level One. At least we know that he's not going to see his idol doing something illegal or bashing someone's head in with a chair."
Now Gates smiles. "I guess that's true. Well, wish the little guy a happy birthday from me."
"I'll definitely do that. Thanks." The father moves along and Gates sits back and smiles.
More fans come and go along the table, and Gates continues to sign pictures for them. Some fans are as normal as normal is, while others are dressed in their best C.J. Gates costume. Some fans talk with Gates while others simply get their pictures signed and leave. One woman even went so far as to ask Gates to sign her cleavage.
After an hour or so, the line begins to dwindle down, and during a small break, Gates looks at all the remaining fans. He spots the wide eyed kids and the excited looks and a smile breaks across his face.
"That bastard," Gates smiles, before the next fan rushes up to the table with a photograph in hand.
"Oh my God! It's you!"
"I know there are people out there who just don't get me.
"After all that I've done, how come I'm still down on myself? How come I'm always thinking these gloomy thoughts about my past, present and future? Why am I holding myself responsible for things that Terry Marvin did when he had Overdrive by the balls?
"And really, to answer that, I can only point to the fact that I am unwanted in certain situations. I'm down on myself because no matter what I do, someone is standing around the next corner waiting to slap me in the back of the head. While I should be used to that by now, part of me is still annoyed at the fact that it keeps happening. Part of me is frustrated that it is always occurring.
"Why am I always acting gloomy? Well, my recent past doesn't exactly excite anyone. I know I'm slain one giant, but that's it. Just one. I wasn't able to do much else aside from beating Level One, and that is something that kind of sticks with me. It makes me wonder if I can ever climb to the top. It makes me dread the moment when I realize that I am destined to remain where I am. That there is no more up. That I have hit that peak.
"I guess the big one, is why I'm holding myself for someone else's actions. But I guess I'm not really holding myself responsible so much as putting the blame on myself for not finishing things off, for not stopping these tyrants when I had the chance. I mean, I might have been able to put an end to Kurt Noble's downfall if I could have beat some sense into him. I could have saved the fans from having to put up with Terry Marvin's bloated ego if I could have popped it when I had the chance.
"But I didn't.
"And I know that there will be people who, leading up to Mayhem, have written me off. I already know that I am fighting an uphill battle in that situation, but it's something I'm used to. Something I'm prepared for.
"Something the fans will help me overcome.
"After today, I know that I have people cheering me one, people who have yet to give up on me, even after I wasn't able to do everything that I set out to do. Seeing them all today, hearing their stories and hearing what makes them tick, well, it has kicked things up a notch for me. It has mad my desire to accomplish my goal that much stronger and it has driven me that much more to prepare myself for what is to come.
"To hopefully prepare for a victory."
"So what was the point of all of that?" Gates asks James as the two men walk into a large conference room just off the auditorium.
"To show you that there are damn good reasons why you should keep doing what you've been doing," James answers. "Everything you do, it's not for nothing."
"Because of the fans?"
"Because of the fans," James echoes. "You saw them, they love you. And if you stopped fighting for them, who knows what would happen."
"They probably wouldn't care as much for me," Gates smirks. "It's the same thing that happened to Sally Talfourd. She had the fans all behind her until she turned on them, and they never showed her the same respect after that."
"But you're not going to let it get that way," James says. "Right?"
Gates takes a deep breath. "Right. I mean, as much as it would be easier to just turn around and give them all the finger, and as much as I keep talking about it being a possibility, I don't think I could ever do it. I don't think it's in me."
"The evil?"
"The potential for it," Gates says. "Look at some of the prime cases right now. Level One, Evan Envi, Michael Callahan, Terry Marvin. Those are men that were born to be bad. Born to piss off the fans and everyone else they come into contact with. I'm not one of them. I wasn't born to be a villain."
"You were born to be a hero," James says.
"Basically."
"But isn't Callahan less evil then he was on Asylum?"
"Maybe," Gates says. "Not to me though, and really, the only reason he might seem that way is because he went from one pond where he was the number one enemy to everyone into a pond where that role has already been filled. He's just going through the motions right now, which include him not being as hated as other people."
"Good point," James says. "I guess when you're trying to outclass people like Level One and Evan Envi, it takes more than just history on Asylum, right?"
"Right," Gates says. "Hell, it might be why I look so good half the time." Gates chuckles and shakes his head.
"I wouldn't say that. A lot of those people out there were fans of yours since you first won the title off of Biggs."
"That's true," Gates says with a smile. "Man, there were a lot of them out there."
"Of course there were," James says. "There are a lot of people who have your back, and this week is no exception."
"I can see that," Gates says before sighing and running his hands over his face. "I don't know, man, I've still got that thought in the back of my head."
"About why you do what you do?"
Gates nods. "It's just," Gates begins before trailing off. "If I fail this week, than what more is there left for me? I would have failed to stop Terry Marvin and then failed to prevent one of Lester, Delikado or Callahan from winning the title and starting or continuing their own reign of terror. What more is there for me to do?"
"Move on to something else?"
"Like what? Writing novels?" Gates shakes his head. "Anyone else that I try and fight against is going to throw away the possibility that I could beat them and stop them."
"Well, maybe you have to start at the bottom," James says. "Like putting an end to some newcomer to Overdrive. Put them in their place right away."
"But that doesn't help now," Gates says. "That doesn't help the feeling I have now about my match at Mayhem."
"Well, all I can say is that you just need to go out and do your best," James offers. "Fight the fight you've always fought and just hope for the best. Hope that you catch everyone off guard, hope that Level One, Callahan and Delikado are all out to lunch and swoop in for the victory. That, or you beat them straight up. And we know how many of your fans would love that."
"Not just my fans, but probably fans of APW in general," Gates says.
"However you slice it, a win this week for you would have cause that arena to explode."
"I know," Gates says. "It's just-"
"I know, we've been through it already. But you can't keep flipping back and forth. Stick to one avenue and just go with it. Stay positive on everything and just do what you've been doing for the past few years. Do what you do best. Show those fans that they aren't wrong for putting their support behind you."
Gates remains silent for a few moments while James stares at him, his words hanging in the air. "When you're right, you're right," Gates sighs. "I just wish I could have seen in on my own. I wish I could have avoided all of the uncertainty and just gone with what's worked for so long."
"Well, that's what friends are for. Besides, for all the good that you've done, you deserve to be back on the top of the mountain.
"You deserve to go big."
"I want to ruin their hopes and dreams.
"I want to ruin the hopes and dreams of my three opponents, but every time I think about doing that, every time I realize that the easiest way to do that is to beat them, I understand that this match won't be easy. I understand that it's not going to be a walk in the park or a match against Mr. Dangerous.
"This is going to be a battle.
"This is going to be a God damn war, and I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that my opponents are unable to achieve the dream that each one of them has. I am going to do all that I can to make sure that their obsessions are unattainable by the time Mayhem goes off the air.
"Level One has been so wrapped up in winning a title, that I think he's forgotten that he's not dealing with some cannon fodder. He's dealing with some top talent. Even I can acknowledge that Michael Callahan and Delikado aren't just two rookies. Just like me, they earned their way here.
"While Level One just sauntered in.
"But he's just the tip of the ice berg. There is so much more wrapped up in this match, whether that be Delikado's insistence that he's not a joke, or Michael Callahan's insistence that he deserves to be one of the best that APW has to offer. He very well could be, but I find it hard to buy, considering he seems to pick and choose when he wants to be care. Considering how lackadaisical his home stretch was heading into Mayhem.
"While obsessions and desires, they are also the dreams I wish to crush. The dreams I am going to work so hard to eliminate. And I am going to have the entirety of the APW faithful cheering me on.
"Not that it will matter to my opponents. They are going to be too focused on calling me wishy-washy and telling me that the kind of mentality I have can't make a World Champion. And in most cases, they might have a point, but what they fail to realize is that when I was at the top of APW, I was the exact same way. When I was holding the Undisputed title, I wasn't claiming victory each and every night. Instead, I was still looking out for the possibility that I could end up losing, and that it could be at a pivotal moment. Then again, unlike my opponents, I live in reality.
"I've mentioned it many times over my career, how some people need to get a reality check, how they need to pull their head out of the clouds or out of their asses and realize that some of the things they say make them look delusional. And eventually, when everything falls, they are going to be left scrambling.
"They are going to be left trying to convince whatever followers they have that it was all part of their master plan. That's what I was hoping would happen to Marvin after Rasslemania, and that is what I'm hoping will happen to Level One, Delikado and Michael Callahan after Mayhem.
"I want to leave them scuffling, trying to figure out what they need to do next to save face.
"And I know I can do that. Based on my talent alone, I know that if I play my cards right, I could end up with a victory or, at the very, very least, making one of my opponents wish he would have done things differently. Of course, it's a tall order considering it's going to be three on one for at least a portion of the match, but I still know that I can survive.
"I survived when Sally Talfourd and Diamante Valentine were using me as a punching bag. I survived all of the shit that Biggs put me through. I survived Kurt Noble's trials and tribulations. And while there are people out there who will see all of that and claim that I am just hanging onto the past, there is nothing that makes them any different. They are all boasting about the past, about what they used to do, about what they once did and about who they've beaten.
"It's human nature in this business, isn't it?
"It just depends on whether or not the opponents will take it for anything more then ego stroking and I, for one, am one of those that does see it as something more. But then again, I do so much work preparing myself for the matches, I spend so much time watching old matches that the past actually means something to me.
"That's why my win over Level One actually means something to me and to many others, too. That is why my win over Michael Callahan means something. That is why my wins over Delikado mean something. They mean something because to me, that past actually matters. Though I wouldn't say it matters more then the future. I wouldn't say that everyone should be fighting for the past and letting the future slip away.
"And depending who you ask, that future could be much different to different people. I mean, Level One would see the future as a Sindication domination, possibly even a vision of a title unification in the future so that they can see which one of them has the biggest ego of their duo. Delikado, meanwhile, would see a parade in his future, a parade where he is stuck hiding behind the bulletproof glass of his pope-mobile, waving to the masses that were paid to stand along the parade route, thanking them all for having his back.
"Even though the only real person who has his back is probably Jimmy Gooch. After all, he did no favors to earn the friendship of Level One and Callahan. Speaking of Callahan, his future would definitely see him asserting himself as the best in APW, as the top dog that everybody is going to want to tackle. He is going to be walking around here with an air about him, claiming that he was never in doubt about remaining the World Heavyweight champion. There would also be a press conference in his future.
"I can only predict that because it's a situation that I have seen before. These are mind sets I have seen before. Level One might be the only one who I've actually witnessed as a long reigning world champion, but I'm sure the others aren't far from the truth. I'm sure that Delikado and Callahan are nearly spot on, and I can only say that based on the past that I have witnessed.
"The past.
"It all comes back to it. Even if you tried to forget about it, it wouldn't happen. The past would always come back to bite you, the past would always creep up on you and if the moment is right, it would make sure it slapped you right in the face.
"For instance, it was an event that happened in the past that landed me a spot in this match. Had I not qualified for it, then maybe things change. Maybe outcomes would be different, maybe people's mindsets are different. And if I am able to come out victoriously, I don't know if the three of you will have anyone to blame but yourselves.
"Of course, that will be something that will have to be dealt with when the match is over. No one will be able to pin the blame on anyone else, at least not until that final bell rings. Right now we need to focus on the match at hand.
"Right now, I want to focus on my opponents.
"First, Callahan. I guess somewhere I should give you credit for jumping from one brand to the other to test your skills against some other competition. I guess I should acknowledge how you were willing to do that while others were not. Time will tell if it was a good idea on your part, to run from Asylum to Overdrive, but at least you can bask in the positivity of challenging yourself.
"However you and I will never see eye to eye. Granted, we've only had three meetings, but in those three meetings, you haven't exactly made me into a Calla-fan. You haven't done anything more then make me hate you more and more. Maybe it's because, like a lot of people that face off against me, you tend to run me down without even really knowing what you're talking about. But then again you are, or were, a politician, so I guess omitting the facts doesn't exactly surprise me, does it?
"No, not at all. Just like it doesn't surprise me that no one really knows what Delikado is going to do. Every match has a wild card, and in this one, it's him. Sure, some people don't necessarily know what I'm going to do, but he's the true wildcard. The fact that he's not afraid to bring rabid animals to the ring, that shows that he is always got something up the sleeves of his papal robes.
"After saying that, however, I can say that I will be ready for what Delikado has to throw at us. I'd be silly not to. If I just sat back and let him do whatever he wanted to do, well, that wouldn't be a good way to do business, now would it. So if I have to make sure I'm ready for just about everything under the sun, then I will do just that. I will make sure that no matter what, I am prepared. It will go a long way, anyways, because it will allow me to really make sure that I would have earned this title.
"If I am able to beat Level One, then I think that would also qualify me to have earned this title. Because regardless of how much I prepare, I am also not going to stoop to the levels that Lester Only stoops to. I'm not going to start wielding chairs and chains and taking off peoples heads. I am going to make sure that I play by the rules laid out before me, and I am going to make sure I do it right.
"And there's nothing Lester can do to stop me. Seriously. He might think he's King Shit, but he's nothing. He's not special and he's not invincible. He might have the accolades, but stuff that's down on paper doesn't always translate to real life. I should know since he and I have fought on a few occasions, but even then, everything that people say about him is far from the truth. He's dangerous, sure, but he's not the God that everyone has built him up to be.
"Not by a long shot.
"But I guess this is that moment. This is that time when focus begins to play a large part in this match. At least for me. Focusing on fighting in the name of good. Fighting on behalf of the fans in the arena.
"And this time, I'm not going to stop until I'm satisfied I have done all that I can. There's no time limit this time, so there's no worry that I am going to be up against a clock. I just have to make sure that I keep my eyes on each and every one of my opponents.
"I am going to have to make sure that I give it my all.
"I'm going to have to go big.
"Because I don't want to go home empty handed."
"That's a phrase that has been going through my head as of late. No matter what I do, it seems like I'm taking two steps back each time I manage to do something in the name of good. It seems like no matter what I do, there are others around that just fill in the gaps.
"So what makes this weeks match any different? What makes this Mayhem different from any other match I've wrestled? Sure, there's a World Heavyweight title involved, but it's still three men who have basked in the glory of being hated against one man who is constantly carrying the banner of good, fighting for the people.
"If I can't make a difference, why should I keep fighting it? Why should I keep going on the path that I'm going? One man can only do so much, especially when there is no one to watch my back. So why should I keep playing the Batman role to all of these villains?
"What's stopping me from just throwing my hands up and giving up?
"The fans? Probably. At least they have my back, though they can not help me inside of that ring, and as much as they drive me to compete, there becomes a moment when my health and well being can't be supported by the cheering fans. There's going to be a moment when those cheers and chants can't make up for the bumps, bruises and blood loss that I go through.
"Maybe it's the wins that drive me? Maybe, as much as I want to do good, I am driven by the glory of success. I guess it's always possible, and maybe that's why I just can't give up and join them. Maybe I continue to fight against them all because I hope that at some point, something will give and I will end up winning.
"Whatever the reason is, there's something stopping me from giving up.
"There's something keeping me going.
"Even though I continue to think that it would be easier to just give in and join the dark side. Turn in my do-gooder card for an evil deck and go from there. Then I could do whatever I wanted, whenever I pleased, and I would surely be able to rest easier knowing I wouldn't be spitting up blood on a weekly basis.
"So what makes this week different?
"What's stopping me from just dropping it all?
"Who knows.
"I guess we'll have to wait and find out together."
-----------------------------------------------------
"Here we are," Vincent James says as he and C.J. Gates walk up to the back door of a small auditorium.
"Where are we?" Gates asks, looking around. "You still haven't told me what the big surprise of the day is."
"You'll find out soon enough," James says with a smile as he opens the door. The two men walk into the building and after a few moments, the buzz of speech can be heard.
"Are we in a mall or something?"
"Not quite," James says with a smile. James ushers Gates toward a pair of black curtains where Gates pauses after looking out.
"Are those..."
"Fans?" James asks. "You bet they are."
"What's this all about?" Gates asks.
"Well, you've been wondering what is the point of everything you do," James answers. "You keep asking why you shouldn't just throw in the towel and become Delikado's next altar boy."
"I never said anything about being an altar boy," Gates shakes his head.
"It doesn't matter," James says with a smile. "The point is that you wanted to know why you do what you do, so I decided to arrange it."
"You didn't have to."
"I wanted to."
"Here he is ladies and gentlemen," a voice says over the loudspeakers. "One of the men fighting for the APW World Heavyweight title, C.J. Gates!" Loud cheers can be heard as Gates looks to James, who smiles and gestures out the curtain. Gates takes a moment before turning and walking out of the curtains.
The cheers grow louder and a "C.J. Gates" chant begins to rise up as Gates raises his arms into the air, waving to the fans that have come out to see him. He walks over to a table flanked by two security guards and sits down.
"Wow," Gates mutters under his breath as the first fan is let forward by a third security guard. The fan quickly makes his way to the table holding a picture of C.J. Gates in action.
"You're such an awesome wrestler," the fan gushes. "The way you can turn the tides of a match, it's so exciting to watch."
"Thanks," Gates says as he signs his name on the picture. "Glad you've enjoyed it."
"Man, we all have," the fan says as he picks up his newly signed picture. "Thanks."
The fan moves along as another is pointed toward the table. She quickly makes her way forward wearing a C.J. Gates "Go Big or Go Home" T-shirt.
"Oh my God, I can't believe I'm actually meeting you," she cries with a large smile on her face. "You're my favorite wrestler."
"I'm always glad to meet my fans," Gates says to her as he signs a picture. He slides it across the table and the woman looks down at it before looking back up at him.
"You're much better in person," she says, blushing, before turning and walking away, squealing silently.
The third fan makes his way forward, wearing his own cowboy hat and carrying a magazine with him. "Loved your article," he says as he places the magazine down on the table. Gates slides it toward himself.
"Oh man," Gates says with a chuckle. "I didn't think anyone read this thing."
"I only bought this one because you were in it," the man says with a laugh. "I wanted to hear your thoughts on everything, including your excellent choice of head wear."
Gates chuckles and touches the tip of his own hat. "Fair enough. I didn't think there were too many that knew about my article in 'The Hat' magazine." Gates signs the front of the magazine - a picture of him - and slides it back to the fan.
"You kidding? You gave great insight into why you wear the hats that you do. What made you do the interview?"
"Move along," one of the security guards behind Gates says. Gates looks up at the guard and then back to the fan.
"Long story short, it was a few co-workers who gave me the idea."
"Awesome," the fan says before moving along away from the table. Gates shakes his head with a smile on his face as the next fan makes his way forward wearing a Gates T-shirt and a replica APW title belt.
"Big fan," the fan says sliding a picture toward Gates. "I bought this title after you beat Biggs and have been cheering for you to get back to that point ever since. Should have had it at Rasslemania."
"But I let you down, right?" Gates asks, signing the picture.
"Not at all," the fan disagrees. "Level One screwed you. Anyone who has a brain can see that."
"Well, thank you," Gates says with a smile.
"No, thank you. And good luck at Mayhem. I'm sure you'll get Level One back." The fan collects his picture and walks away from the table.
"Thanks," Gates calls after him. The next fan begins to make their way to the table.
"You might be a godsend," the fan says while he waits. "I've been watching APW for awhile now, and it always seems to be dominated by the baddest of the bad or by people pretending to be good. But you, you are the definition of good."
"I don't know if I'd say I'm a godsend," Gates says.
"You give people hope," the fan replies. Gates opens his mouth to speak, but the fan continues. "Forget anything about any losses you might have, you still give people hope. You still give us someone to cheer for."
"Well, thank you," Gates says as the two men shake hands one more time and the fan moves along. The next fan, an older man, comes up to the table with a picture of C.J. in his hands.
"Thank you so much for doing this," the man says. "My son is a huge fan of yours and this is the perfect birthday present for him."
"Anything for my fans," Gates says as he signs the picture.
"He looks up to you and is always cheering you on each week."
"How old is your son?" Gates asks.
"Ten," the man responds and Gates nods.
"Isn't that a bit young to be watching wrestling?"
The man smiles. "My wife and I have had the same thought, but it's not too bad. I mean, at least he's looking up to you and not someone like Level One. At least we know that he's not going to see his idol doing something illegal or bashing someone's head in with a chair."
Now Gates smiles. "I guess that's true. Well, wish the little guy a happy birthday from me."
"I'll definitely do that. Thanks." The father moves along and Gates sits back and smiles.
More fans come and go along the table, and Gates continues to sign pictures for them. Some fans are as normal as normal is, while others are dressed in their best C.J. Gates costume. Some fans talk with Gates while others simply get their pictures signed and leave. One woman even went so far as to ask Gates to sign her cleavage.
After an hour or so, the line begins to dwindle down, and during a small break, Gates looks at all the remaining fans. He spots the wide eyed kids and the excited looks and a smile breaks across his face.
"That bastard," Gates smiles, before the next fan rushes up to the table with a photograph in hand.
"Oh my God! It's you!"
-----------------------------------------------------
"I know there are people out there who just don't get me.
"After all that I've done, how come I'm still down on myself? How come I'm always thinking these gloomy thoughts about my past, present and future? Why am I holding myself responsible for things that Terry Marvin did when he had Overdrive by the balls?
"And really, to answer that, I can only point to the fact that I am unwanted in certain situations. I'm down on myself because no matter what I do, someone is standing around the next corner waiting to slap me in the back of the head. While I should be used to that by now, part of me is still annoyed at the fact that it keeps happening. Part of me is frustrated that it is always occurring.
"Why am I always acting gloomy? Well, my recent past doesn't exactly excite anyone. I know I'm slain one giant, but that's it. Just one. I wasn't able to do much else aside from beating Level One, and that is something that kind of sticks with me. It makes me wonder if I can ever climb to the top. It makes me dread the moment when I realize that I am destined to remain where I am. That there is no more up. That I have hit that peak.
"I guess the big one, is why I'm holding myself for someone else's actions. But I guess I'm not really holding myself responsible so much as putting the blame on myself for not finishing things off, for not stopping these tyrants when I had the chance. I mean, I might have been able to put an end to Kurt Noble's downfall if I could have beat some sense into him. I could have saved the fans from having to put up with Terry Marvin's bloated ego if I could have popped it when I had the chance.
"But I didn't.
"And I know that there will be people who, leading up to Mayhem, have written me off. I already know that I am fighting an uphill battle in that situation, but it's something I'm used to. Something I'm prepared for.
"Something the fans will help me overcome.
"After today, I know that I have people cheering me one, people who have yet to give up on me, even after I wasn't able to do everything that I set out to do. Seeing them all today, hearing their stories and hearing what makes them tick, well, it has kicked things up a notch for me. It has mad my desire to accomplish my goal that much stronger and it has driven me that much more to prepare myself for what is to come.
"To hopefully prepare for a victory."
-----------------------------------------------------
"So what was the point of all of that?" Gates asks James as the two men walk into a large conference room just off the auditorium.
"To show you that there are damn good reasons why you should keep doing what you've been doing," James answers. "Everything you do, it's not for nothing."
"Because of the fans?"
"Because of the fans," James echoes. "You saw them, they love you. And if you stopped fighting for them, who knows what would happen."
"They probably wouldn't care as much for me," Gates smirks. "It's the same thing that happened to Sally Talfourd. She had the fans all behind her until she turned on them, and they never showed her the same respect after that."
"But you're not going to let it get that way," James says. "Right?"
Gates takes a deep breath. "Right. I mean, as much as it would be easier to just turn around and give them all the finger, and as much as I keep talking about it being a possibility, I don't think I could ever do it. I don't think it's in me."
"The evil?"
"The potential for it," Gates says. "Look at some of the prime cases right now. Level One, Evan Envi, Michael Callahan, Terry Marvin. Those are men that were born to be bad. Born to piss off the fans and everyone else they come into contact with. I'm not one of them. I wasn't born to be a villain."
"You were born to be a hero," James says.
"Basically."
"But isn't Callahan less evil then he was on Asylum?"
"Maybe," Gates says. "Not to me though, and really, the only reason he might seem that way is because he went from one pond where he was the number one enemy to everyone into a pond where that role has already been filled. He's just going through the motions right now, which include him not being as hated as other people."
"Good point," James says. "I guess when you're trying to outclass people like Level One and Evan Envi, it takes more than just history on Asylum, right?"
"Right," Gates says. "Hell, it might be why I look so good half the time." Gates chuckles and shakes his head.
"I wouldn't say that. A lot of those people out there were fans of yours since you first won the title off of Biggs."
"That's true," Gates says with a smile. "Man, there were a lot of them out there."
"Of course there were," James says. "There are a lot of people who have your back, and this week is no exception."
"I can see that," Gates says before sighing and running his hands over his face. "I don't know, man, I've still got that thought in the back of my head."
"About why you do what you do?"
Gates nods. "It's just," Gates begins before trailing off. "If I fail this week, than what more is there left for me? I would have failed to stop Terry Marvin and then failed to prevent one of Lester, Delikado or Callahan from winning the title and starting or continuing their own reign of terror. What more is there for me to do?"
"Move on to something else?"
"Like what? Writing novels?" Gates shakes his head. "Anyone else that I try and fight against is going to throw away the possibility that I could beat them and stop them."
"Well, maybe you have to start at the bottom," James says. "Like putting an end to some newcomer to Overdrive. Put them in their place right away."
"But that doesn't help now," Gates says. "That doesn't help the feeling I have now about my match at Mayhem."
"Well, all I can say is that you just need to go out and do your best," James offers. "Fight the fight you've always fought and just hope for the best. Hope that you catch everyone off guard, hope that Level One, Callahan and Delikado are all out to lunch and swoop in for the victory. That, or you beat them straight up. And we know how many of your fans would love that."
"Not just my fans, but probably fans of APW in general," Gates says.
"However you slice it, a win this week for you would have cause that arena to explode."
"I know," Gates says. "It's just-"
"I know, we've been through it already. But you can't keep flipping back and forth. Stick to one avenue and just go with it. Stay positive on everything and just do what you've been doing for the past few years. Do what you do best. Show those fans that they aren't wrong for putting their support behind you."
Gates remains silent for a few moments while James stares at him, his words hanging in the air. "When you're right, you're right," Gates sighs. "I just wish I could have seen in on my own. I wish I could have avoided all of the uncertainty and just gone with what's worked for so long."
"Well, that's what friends are for. Besides, for all the good that you've done, you deserve to be back on the top of the mountain.
"You deserve to go big."
-----------------------------------------------------
"I want to ruin their hopes and dreams.
"I want to ruin the hopes and dreams of my three opponents, but every time I think about doing that, every time I realize that the easiest way to do that is to beat them, I understand that this match won't be easy. I understand that it's not going to be a walk in the park or a match against Mr. Dangerous.
"This is going to be a battle.
"This is going to be a God damn war, and I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that my opponents are unable to achieve the dream that each one of them has. I am going to do all that I can to make sure that their obsessions are unattainable by the time Mayhem goes off the air.
"Level One has been so wrapped up in winning a title, that I think he's forgotten that he's not dealing with some cannon fodder. He's dealing with some top talent. Even I can acknowledge that Michael Callahan and Delikado aren't just two rookies. Just like me, they earned their way here.
"While Level One just sauntered in.
"But he's just the tip of the ice berg. There is so much more wrapped up in this match, whether that be Delikado's insistence that he's not a joke, or Michael Callahan's insistence that he deserves to be one of the best that APW has to offer. He very well could be, but I find it hard to buy, considering he seems to pick and choose when he wants to be care. Considering how lackadaisical his home stretch was heading into Mayhem.
"While obsessions and desires, they are also the dreams I wish to crush. The dreams I am going to work so hard to eliminate. And I am going to have the entirety of the APW faithful cheering me on.
"Not that it will matter to my opponents. They are going to be too focused on calling me wishy-washy and telling me that the kind of mentality I have can't make a World Champion. And in most cases, they might have a point, but what they fail to realize is that when I was at the top of APW, I was the exact same way. When I was holding the Undisputed title, I wasn't claiming victory each and every night. Instead, I was still looking out for the possibility that I could end up losing, and that it could be at a pivotal moment. Then again, unlike my opponents, I live in reality.
"I've mentioned it many times over my career, how some people need to get a reality check, how they need to pull their head out of the clouds or out of their asses and realize that some of the things they say make them look delusional. And eventually, when everything falls, they are going to be left scrambling.
"They are going to be left trying to convince whatever followers they have that it was all part of their master plan. That's what I was hoping would happen to Marvin after Rasslemania, and that is what I'm hoping will happen to Level One, Delikado and Michael Callahan after Mayhem.
"I want to leave them scuffling, trying to figure out what they need to do next to save face.
"And I know I can do that. Based on my talent alone, I know that if I play my cards right, I could end up with a victory or, at the very, very least, making one of my opponents wish he would have done things differently. Of course, it's a tall order considering it's going to be three on one for at least a portion of the match, but I still know that I can survive.
"I survived when Sally Talfourd and Diamante Valentine were using me as a punching bag. I survived all of the shit that Biggs put me through. I survived Kurt Noble's trials and tribulations. And while there are people out there who will see all of that and claim that I am just hanging onto the past, there is nothing that makes them any different. They are all boasting about the past, about what they used to do, about what they once did and about who they've beaten.
"It's human nature in this business, isn't it?
"It just depends on whether or not the opponents will take it for anything more then ego stroking and I, for one, am one of those that does see it as something more. But then again, I do so much work preparing myself for the matches, I spend so much time watching old matches that the past actually means something to me.
"That's why my win over Level One actually means something to me and to many others, too. That is why my win over Michael Callahan means something. That is why my wins over Delikado mean something. They mean something because to me, that past actually matters. Though I wouldn't say it matters more then the future. I wouldn't say that everyone should be fighting for the past and letting the future slip away.
"And depending who you ask, that future could be much different to different people. I mean, Level One would see the future as a Sindication domination, possibly even a vision of a title unification in the future so that they can see which one of them has the biggest ego of their duo. Delikado, meanwhile, would see a parade in his future, a parade where he is stuck hiding behind the bulletproof glass of his pope-mobile, waving to the masses that were paid to stand along the parade route, thanking them all for having his back.
"Even though the only real person who has his back is probably Jimmy Gooch. After all, he did no favors to earn the friendship of Level One and Callahan. Speaking of Callahan, his future would definitely see him asserting himself as the best in APW, as the top dog that everybody is going to want to tackle. He is going to be walking around here with an air about him, claiming that he was never in doubt about remaining the World Heavyweight champion. There would also be a press conference in his future.
"I can only predict that because it's a situation that I have seen before. These are mind sets I have seen before. Level One might be the only one who I've actually witnessed as a long reigning world champion, but I'm sure the others aren't far from the truth. I'm sure that Delikado and Callahan are nearly spot on, and I can only say that based on the past that I have witnessed.
"The past.
"It all comes back to it. Even if you tried to forget about it, it wouldn't happen. The past would always come back to bite you, the past would always creep up on you and if the moment is right, it would make sure it slapped you right in the face.
"For instance, it was an event that happened in the past that landed me a spot in this match. Had I not qualified for it, then maybe things change. Maybe outcomes would be different, maybe people's mindsets are different. And if I am able to come out victoriously, I don't know if the three of you will have anyone to blame but yourselves.
"Of course, that will be something that will have to be dealt with when the match is over. No one will be able to pin the blame on anyone else, at least not until that final bell rings. Right now we need to focus on the match at hand.
"Right now, I want to focus on my opponents.
"First, Callahan. I guess somewhere I should give you credit for jumping from one brand to the other to test your skills against some other competition. I guess I should acknowledge how you were willing to do that while others were not. Time will tell if it was a good idea on your part, to run from Asylum to Overdrive, but at least you can bask in the positivity of challenging yourself.
"However you and I will never see eye to eye. Granted, we've only had three meetings, but in those three meetings, you haven't exactly made me into a Calla-fan. You haven't done anything more then make me hate you more and more. Maybe it's because, like a lot of people that face off against me, you tend to run me down without even really knowing what you're talking about. But then again you are, or were, a politician, so I guess omitting the facts doesn't exactly surprise me, does it?
"No, not at all. Just like it doesn't surprise me that no one really knows what Delikado is going to do. Every match has a wild card, and in this one, it's him. Sure, some people don't necessarily know what I'm going to do, but he's the true wildcard. The fact that he's not afraid to bring rabid animals to the ring, that shows that he is always got something up the sleeves of his papal robes.
"After saying that, however, I can say that I will be ready for what Delikado has to throw at us. I'd be silly not to. If I just sat back and let him do whatever he wanted to do, well, that wouldn't be a good way to do business, now would it. So if I have to make sure I'm ready for just about everything under the sun, then I will do just that. I will make sure that no matter what, I am prepared. It will go a long way, anyways, because it will allow me to really make sure that I would have earned this title.
"If I am able to beat Level One, then I think that would also qualify me to have earned this title. Because regardless of how much I prepare, I am also not going to stoop to the levels that Lester Only stoops to. I'm not going to start wielding chairs and chains and taking off peoples heads. I am going to make sure that I play by the rules laid out before me, and I am going to make sure I do it right.
"And there's nothing Lester can do to stop me. Seriously. He might think he's King Shit, but he's nothing. He's not special and he's not invincible. He might have the accolades, but stuff that's down on paper doesn't always translate to real life. I should know since he and I have fought on a few occasions, but even then, everything that people say about him is far from the truth. He's dangerous, sure, but he's not the God that everyone has built him up to be.
"Not by a long shot.
"But I guess this is that moment. This is that time when focus begins to play a large part in this match. At least for me. Focusing on fighting in the name of good. Fighting on behalf of the fans in the arena.
"And this time, I'm not going to stop until I'm satisfied I have done all that I can. There's no time limit this time, so there's no worry that I am going to be up against a clock. I just have to make sure that I keep my eyes on each and every one of my opponents.
"I am going to have to make sure that I give it my all.
"I'm going to have to go big.
"Because I don't want to go home empty handed."
