...AND I JUST DON'T GIVE A FUCK

[Cris]

...And I Just Don’t Give a Fuck

I don't give a fuck

They done push me to the limit I'm all in
I might blow up any minute, did it again

We fade into a close up shot of a blown up APW Mayhem PPV poster. All the big names feature. Terry Marvin, Michael Callahan, CJ Gates, Level One et al. One omission from the poster however, is Christian Kane. As we slowly pan out, we see two directors chairs, in one sits what looks to be a journalist and in the other...Christian Kane. An uninterested and irritated look on the face of the Canadian national, the journalist manages a warm smile towards the camera as he begins to speak, Portuguese subtitles appearing at the bottom of the screen as he does so.

Journalist: Welcome ladies and gentlemen, tonight ahead of APW’s Mayhem event on Sunday night I’m joined in the chair by APW superstar, Christian Kane. Christian, thanks for joining us today.

Kane: Yeah.

Journalist: How are you enjoying Brazil?

Slumped back in his chair, Kane suddenly frowns at the comment and sits up.

Kane: Are you really going to waste my time with this shit? How am I enjoying Brazil? You know and I know exactly how I feel about Brazil. Brazil is shit. South America is for all intents and purposes a garbage fucking continent and the sooner you all kill yourselves over water and cocaine the better. You all hate me but that’s okay because I hate you and the rest of your people even more!

Maintaining amazing composure, the journalist nods.

Journalist: Why do ‘hate’ us so much then, Christian?

Kane: Maybe I shouldn’t be blaming you guys. Maybe I should be blaming Action Packed Wrestling. Maybe I should be blaming them for wasting my fucking time. Ever since December, since I joined this company, all it’s been is a WASTE OF TIME. Awful man management, even worse location management. We’ve been touring South America, as you well know and it’s only fueled the burning hatred I have for this place. I’ve had to take time away from my loved ones to waste time damaging my body for your entertainment, eating loss after loss thanks to an incompetent waste of space who is now, thankfully, my former partner. Too much of 2013 has been spent in Brazil, you’re just as bad as Argentina.

Journalist: So it’s an issue with management?

Kane: An issue with the whole company. They’re all to blame.

Journalist: And what about former APW Chris Strike? A Brazilian who you don’t exactly have the best relationship with...

Kane: This isn’t a fucking Q&A, buddy. I’m not here to talk about Chris Strike. I’m not here to talk about Brazil. I’m here to talk about Mayhem, whether I’m in APW on Monday morning or not, that’s my job and I...am a consummate professional.

Do I want to be here right now? No.

Do I want to be here in the future? Probably not.

Nobody has held their hand out to me in this place. Almost no one has offered me anything.

Everything I’ve done in this place was on my own. I’ve had a tag team partner for the majority of my time here, so when I say that the majority of success I’ve had here was by my own accord, well that speaks fucking volumes. Doesn’t it Kaylyn?

Do you want to know something about Kaylyn James Evans, besides the fact she has a dudes name? She was all too happy to watch on the sidelines and ruin my career for me when she feebly attempted to get involved and steal my thunder, then when she goes and flukes her way to the Suicidal title she just so happens to forget about me.

She forgets about the guy who was instrumental in making sure people didn’t forget who the fuck she was, because believe me, if I wasn’t around she wouldn’t even be in APW, let alone on Asylum. The only reason she ever GOT onto Asylum was through favouritism, while I was banished to the madhouse because they were sick of me.

It’s frustrating. For someone to enjoy one modicum of solo success so much that they corrupt themselves. They turn on their friends. Their only friend. I had the fucking guts to address the issues I had with you Kaylyn, and what have you done since then? Moaned that I ‘turned’ on you? No. I aired my grievances and you are too much of fucking pussy to deal with them so you backed down like the fucking bitch you are.

You played the goddamn innocent, helpless little cunt, talking about how you didn’t see this coming. The way you’re living, I’m pretty sure you see plenty of things ‘cumming’. Mainly onto your face. All at once. Slut. For fuck sake, you’re letting Jason Kash stick his dick inside you. That’s just...ugh. What’s wrong with you?

You are a disgrace. You are the single worst thing to happen to Asylum in a long time and to see you holding a championship that I deserves makes me want to throw up. You can play the victim all you like Kay, but that doesn’t make your ‘title reign’ any less of a fucking joke. When I beat you, when I defeat you, and hold that title for only a minute...I’ll have a more illustrious, profitable and memorable reign than you did, and ever will have in this company.

You flaunt your body around in skimpy clothing like no one’s been to a strip club before, girl. This isn’t the 1930’s, guys aren’t leaned up against a lamp post jerking off because they saw a girls bare legs on the sidewalk. This is 2013 - skanks like you shouldn’t be rewarded for swallowing cum and fluking their way to a title reign.

I am better than you in every discernable, conceivable way and if I lose the only conclusion I’ll be able to come to is that you let someone in the back anal you. Kash has stuck his dick in far worse, I’m sure he doesn’t mind sharing. I hate you Kaylyn. I hate you for all the shit you put me through.

I hate you for almost ruining my career with your bullshit.

I hate you for pretty much wrecking my whole run in APW with your bullshit.

You’ve crippled me here. I have no future with this company. And it’s all your fault.

Sunday night at Mayhem isn’t about your shitty little title, it’s about me kicking you in the face so hard I shatter your fucking jaw and make you swallow your teeth. I want to make you bleed. And since we’re in Brazil, I might just take you to a dark alley and cut your fucking throat open to top it all off.

But if you’re sitting here, watching this, clinging to your title, tears of joy running down your face due to the fact that I don’t want it, be warned - I will take it from you.

I will take it from you to spite you.

I will take it from you to spite this company.

I will take it from you to punish you for all the shit you’ve done.

You can’t half-ass our time together and expect to get away with it, Kay.

I asked for your undivided focus. I promised you glory and you FUCKED ME OVER.

So fuck it! This is fucking it! Mayhem I will destroy you and Aubrey J Parker will be there with me to bare witness to the moment I demolish and embarrass you.

YOU ARE NOTHING WITHOUT WITH ME.

YOU ARE NOTHING.

FUCK YOU.

[Sound clip of tires screeching]