Post by President Jeff on May 18, 2013 22:07:41 GMT -4
When One Wins...
It's been several months since Mayhem concluded a new champion was crowned. His three opponents fought valiantly but there efforts were futile. With one swift blow Level-One delivered his signature bone crushing Level Advance Vertebreaker signaling a swift end upon pinning another fallen warrior in Delikado.
Although he enjoyed the spoils of victory - he begrudged Delikado for his betrayal as it was never his desire to win the championship over his fallen body. With the power now in his hands Level-One reconciled with his friend turned foe Terry Marvin and forged the New Sindicate.
The two rulers made the APW Kingdom's life hell for the rest of the peasants and their tyrannical reign reached new highs. Today, the New Sindicate was voting on a new measure called the ''no laughing act'' which would ban everything from knock knock jokes to smiling but even a toothy grin would be met with swift punishment under this rule.
''At Mayhem I may have defeated Delikado and regained my throne in the APW Kingdom but it is HE whom has been having the last laugh! Ever since I assumed my role as APW World Heavyweight Champion I promised the fans that I'd make their life’s absolutely miserable under my rule but every time he is out in the ring he makes them laugh! He makes them smile! He takes their minds of the misery we strive to bring them and it's pissing me off! And thus, I have created the no laughing act. I expect a unanimous vote on this, New Sindicate!
Any questions?''
Level-One surveyed the countless faces in the room until Violet LeWinter bravely raised her hand to posture a question to her leader.
''Sir, if I may ask... how do you plan to institute this rule? I mean, you may be able to force Delikado to stop making jokes but what if the fans begin to laugh at things that are not funny? Like when the time Terry Marvin hit you with a...''
''I have heard enough, Ms. LeWinter!'' He declared cutting her words short. ''Yes indeed that would be a huge problem which is why the Sindicate will be spending money in the millions to have individual spikes installed under every seat in our arenas that will automatically pierce through it and rupture one's butthole the very second it's sensor detects laughter. I understand that it'll be a hard sell to the APW commission but I assure you we have our ways, Violet.''
Just as quickly as he finishes Kia LeWinter raises her hand like a kid in class who knows the right answer.
''Sir, but what if the seats were to malfunction? I thought the ''keyboard warrior'' act you passed last month banning the usage of social media like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter as a means to talk trash was based on the fact that you said all technology was bad?''
''It is!'' He quickly reaffirmed. ''However, if a few buttholes are accidentally ruptured in the process than I am afraid that it's just a risk we'll have to take to ensure that nobody laughs at another Delikado promo and or in ring segment! Remember the ends ALWAYS justify the means!''
Terry Marvin nudged Level-One on his shoulder leaning towards him with a whisper.
''You know Lester, I still think it's much more efficient to shut Delikado's mouth for good. I mean, he's the only reason those idiots in the crowd are laughing at us. Well, that and the goofy looking uniforms you have us wearing.''
Level-One twitched upon hearing Terry Marvin's concern as he couldn't fathom why he'd oppose his act - after all, Terry Marvin was all for it when he threatened to break him in half the night before.
''Yes, we could duct tape his mouth shut after ripping his tongue out or something amusingly brutal for ratings but that is almost too easy! I like to make things drawn out and severely complicated because it adds to my aura, you see? You will be voting on this act, right?''
''I will.'' Terry Marvin replied with deep regret. 'Although, I still hope to the heavens above that you will reconsider, Lester.''
He rolled his eyes and signaled for the vote to start. The Sindicate members cast their votes one by one by putting slips of paper into a ballet box before he was informed of the vote count. He was not happy.
''How dare the New Sindicate defy me in this way! I allow you to vote and this is how you repay me!? I sentence each one of you who voted against this act to a week of reeducation where you will learn while you may have free will, I have the free will to out will your will! The New Sindicate may enjoying laughing but I am sick of it and I will see through that nobody ever has fun in my APW Kingdom again!''
Level-One closes his eyes and shakes his head side to side.
''I hate to have to do this... again. But I must hereby overrule this vote by exercising the ''fast way to fascist'' clause I had Steffan Raab write up for me!''
With a simple click of a button the ballot box's bottom falls out and dumps the votes into a paper shredding machine below shredding the votes into a pile of confetti.
''Now I hope you all enjoy your weekend and make sure you spend it getting those laughs out of your system because from here on out, I don't even want to see much as a smile out of you!''
The NEW Sindicate members scatter as Level-One turns to Terry Marvin whom tactfully pulls out an ipad which is in violation of the ''keyboard warrior'' but the king makers weren't actually expected to follow their own rules.
''What is this?''
''A YouTube video.'' Terry Marvin said laughing having already watched it before. ''It's hilarious and it involves a chicken and a dog!''
''A chicken and a dog?'' Lester asked before Terry Marvin holds the screen up to his face. ''Aha-aha! The dog ate the chicken!''
BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
It's been several since Mayhem concluded a new champion was crowned. His three opponents fought valiantly but there efforts were futile. With one swift transition Level-One delivered synched in his signature bone crushing House of Pain maneuver submitting a warrior known for his unbreakable heart, CJ Gates.
Now that he had broken CJ Gates and thus killed off the Kingdom’s white knight there was very little opposition to his rule. The APW Kingdom rotted from the inside and so did the morals of the fans. With no one to cheer for they took a liking to Level-One and his Sindicate now cheered on their evil deeds - with the submission of CJ Gates he offered up his very own mother to earn himself a pardon and to avoid the years of bondage the Sindicate would put him under. This act of cowardice left his own mother at the Syndicates mercy.
However, the new found power Level-One found at the helm of the Sindicate was too much for him too bare for he could virtually sleep with any women in the APW Kingdom he desired. His wife Patricia Lewis filed for divorce after she caught Level-One fornicating with CJ Gate's mother but it did not deter Level-One for the two quickly fell in love. Today, the two are engaged and are planning the biggest wedding the APW Kingdom has ever seen.
And you have been cordially invited!
''So guys, I have booked the venue and scored you two your own wedding day on a private island. The few hundred inhabitants are being transported off of it as we speak!'' Cindy Shannon explains. ''How excited are you guys right now?''
''Beyond words!'' Lester says blushing as he holds CJ Gates mothers hand tightly. ''Cindy, I admit - I was worried about you taking these responsibilities on. Although you are a dear friend of the Gates Family, I knew you to be a great interviewer not a wedding planner!''
CJ Gates hot MILF of a mother spoke up. ''Hunny, I told you all would go well. When I wrote my book ''I fucking hate my son'' Cindy Shannon was the first one to interview me about my book and pose my groundbreaking questions like... why do I hate my son?''
''Well, we all know why you hate your son but let's not talk about him right now, okay?'' Lester said patting his older fiancé on her leg.
''Guys, is it true that CJ Gates doesn't approve of this marriage? I'd imagine that something like that puts some strain on your relationship.''
''Here we go again!'' Lester whined. ''I don't know Cindy, why don't you go interview him again? I haven't communicated with CJ Gates since I made him TAPOUT like the little bitch he is at Mayhem in 2013! Apparently, he REFUSES to communicate with his own STEP FATHER!''
''He's so horrible!'' Ms. Gates cries. ''After his loss at Mayhem he moved into his aunt’s house and all he does there is eat hot pockets and jerks off to porn.''
''Was this porn of the German variety?'' Cindy Shannon inquired.
''Who cares!'' Lester snapped back. ''All I know is CJ Gates is the most ungrateful son I could possibly ever had! I try to reach out to him and be a father but he constantly isolates himself from me. All I ever wanted was for us to be one happy family but he just can't get over the fact that I am a better wrestler than he is.''
''And let's not even talk about what our asshole son did to our uncle Terry!''
''What did he do to your uncle Terry?''
''It was horrible.'' Lester said as he closed his eyes and shook his head side to side. ''After the Sindicate pardoned CJ Gates he cost Uncle Terry his undisputed championship at Rasslemania 10 in order to get back at me. Uncle Terry's life from then on spiraled out of control. He started drinking and doing drugs and then his eleventh wife left him. He gave everything for that Undisputed title and when he lost it had nothing more to live for.''
''Uncle Terry shot himself in the head with a 12 gauge shot gun. All his blood went on our wall and it made for one hell of a cleanup, afterwards.'' Ms. Gates explained with little to no emotion.
Lester wiped away a single tear. ''The death of our dear friend still hurts my heart today. If he was alive, he'd be my best man.''
''Who is your best man?'' Cindy asked.
''My elder son B.J Gates.'' Ms. Gates answered. ''The APW Kingdom probably doesn't remember my good son but he was often in CJ's promos trading useless dialogue between the two after he Undisputed Champion for the first time in 2012. Since then, CJ has forgotten about B.J and his other brothers O.J and even D.J whom are all really bitter about that.''
''Ms. Gates may I ask why do you name all your sons with initials?''
Ms. Gates laughs. ''I am not a greater speller! Historically, the Gates family has been known more for their good looks than intelligence.''
''And their honesty too.'' Lester jokingly chimed in.
''You two complement each other so well!'' Cindy screeched in excitement. ''So, I got the model of the wedding cake ready would you guys like to see it?''
The happy couple nods as the Cindy Shannon slides them over a picture of the wedding cake. The picture tastefully displays CJ Gates crushes face imprinted into the middle of it and quite clearly, Lester hates the concept but his fiancé is all over it.
''Aw, that's so perfect!'' Ms. Gates said wrapping her arm around Lester Only. ''Look hun, it's a photo of your boot stomping on Cee Jay's face... forever.''
It's been several days since Mayhem concluded a new champion was crowned. His three opponents fought valiantly but there efforts were futile. With one swift blow Level-One delivered his signature bone crushing Darkness Shine signaling a swift end upon pinning the APW World Heavyweight champion warrior himself, Michael Callahan.
After being crowned APW World Heavyweight Champion he cut the celebration short and immediately boarded a last minute flight to Siberia. Although the prison in Siberia shut down every a year powerful men with a stake in the experts would meet to discuss their next move and how to make their next tournament the best. However, after last year’s tournament its future was called into question and the men desperately needed a new pitch.
In Siberia he met with these men in a cold dark room to discuss just that. He was armed with nothing more than a briefcase and less than ten minutes to plead his case.
‘’Gentlemen, I stand here before you because I believe I have an offer you will not want to refuse. Four years ago myself and Crazy Man Joel Bryant were given a once in a life time opportunity to host our very own show under the experts banner. Our feud crossed into some of the world’s greatest promotion including the APW in a tour across the globe. The end product? Well, you guys are well aware of what those sales did for your business – besides your yearly tournaments Level-One Vs. Crazyman grossed you the biggest pay day in experts history.’’
He smiles confidently as he opens up his briefcase revealing a large poster made by Andrew Meltzer and his impressive Photoshop skills. This banner features none other than APW World Heavyweight Champion Level-One and the Undisputed champion, Terry Marvin on the front cover with the headline The Experts presents: ‘’LEVEL-ONE VS. TERRY MARVIN’’
‘’Today, you have yourselves even a bigger pay day here right before your eyes. For the first time in APW history two of the promotions top champions face off in a battle of the ages to determine who is truly the greatest wrestler of all time and who will become the true leader of the most power faction in the entire world, the Sindicate!’’
He looks around the room and realizes the faces staring back at him are disinterested. In fact, he’s not even able to finish his sales pitch before a man stands up and declares the hearing over.
‘’We vant to thank you for coming here, friend but I am afraid Siberia nor the experts can entertain you and Mr. Marvin’s shenanigans. Your recent victory over the American Mikael Callahan is hardly impressive. The collective would like to see you rack up a few title defenses before we can possibly discuss this any further.’’
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How could the experts possible turn down the greatest match in wrestling history!?
‘’That is nonsense!’’ Lester retorted with rage. ‘’Sure, I am newly crowd APW World Champion but that gives you no right to prejudice me like this! My title may not be worth as much as him but what that title lacks in prestige; I make up for it in talent. I am NOT Terry Marvin’s equal for I am his superior! As APW world champion, I demand you rethink your position!’’
The man smiled as he waved his hands without a care in the world signaling for the aid of two former Siberian prison guards whom were both already familiar with Level-One and the pivotal part he played in the experts history, as they drug him out they sympathized with the former two time true expert.
‘’I am sorry my friend.’’ Nikolai said. ‘’You have our deepest sympathies old friend. I am afraid the experts are simply out of touch and their dying model is the proof. If you vant we can get you in contact with somebody that we think could help you out, yes?’’
He accepted Nikolai’s help. When he returned to America; he met up with one of Nikolai’s old friends whom once worked within the experts. The insider realized that the company was headed in the wrong direction and broke off while he still had the chance and help funded Visionary Wrestling.
‘’My name is…’’ The man started as he approached Level-One in the airport. ‘’Actually, my name is better off unsaid.’’
‘So be it.’’ Lester said reaching out for a hand shake. ‘’Don’t worry about the camera, we’ll be blurring your face.’’
‘’Thanks.’’ The man said. ‘’My job would be in danger if the VIW knew I was discussing policy without their permission. Nonetheless, I spoke with the officials about your proposal but Sam Strachon caught wind of it and he is fighting quite hard against this.’’
‘’The son of a bitch.’’ Lester whispered sharply. ‘’I can’t say I can blame him. The Sindicate is easily the biggest thing the VIW has going for them, I can’t imagine they’d want to risk it like that.’’
‘’Exactly.’’ The man agreed. ‘’I hate to have to say this but as it stands this match isn’t a go – not as long as you and he are tag team champions at least.’’
‘’Then I’ll forfeit my half!’’ Lester piped up.
‘’I am afraid they are wise to your tricks, Mr. Only.’’ The man informed him with a wag of the finger. ‘’The VIW is opting to book either of you until your sort out your issues. They hope that any wounds between you two will be able to heal naturally before your next title defense. Sorry, Lester… I am afraid there is no other way.’’
It was clear he was at a dead end. The two biggest inter feds in the business had refused to feature the match on his terms and conditions and that angered him deeply. There had to be away, there had to be another way to make it all possible. And then… he figured it out.
He would change the terms and conditions at his whim and the best part about it? He had the power too.
So, it’ll be done.
On Sunday Night Mayhem will present a unique yet not foreign challenge to me in the form of a fatal four match.
I mean, the name speaks for itself. Fatal four way, fatal because it presents you with more ways in which you can lose than you can win. While I have stated boldly that I will emerge as your new World Heavyweight Champion, I will be the first one to say that it is largely all bravado. I know I am better than every man in this match but that alone does not guarantee victory. I have thought about the challenges I face all week long in anticipation for this match up and have ran through every possible scenario up one side and down the other and to be honest; I don't feel nearly as confident about this as I probably should.
I could lose this match because of Delikado.
You are talking about a man better known for his comedy routine than victories over top talent. One has to look not too long ago to see exactly how low on the totem pole this man was and for good reason! He won a throwaway match on Meltdown which gifted him an immediate APW World Heavyweight title shot but that is only half of it. This title shot came off the heels of wrestling a pre-show Rasslemania match against Overdrive's no named brand Dan White and Legion.
Yeah, quite the world beaters there.
These are two fool proof products that has Meltdown scoring a -F on quality control! So, here we're supposed to believe a legitimate contender for the world title couldn't even find himself a spot on the main card at Rasslemania? You Delikado trolls can claim he was shafted all you want but never will you see myself or even CJ Gates wrestling in a pre show on the biggest show of the year because neither of us would allow that to happen. All that shows me is that you had nothing important going on and that the biggest show of the year didn't need you and even before this - Delikado was busy having his ass handed to him by Mark Mania and failing to win the Overdrive title on multiple occasions!
So, I ask you... how can you possibly justify Delikado sharing a ring with me without resorting to the same old: Delikado makes funny!; durr, durr, durr! Look, he should be APW world champion!; Durr, durr, durr! Most of you would rather see him become champion merely because he hasn't gotten his turn and I hog the spotlight. In other words, you people are sports entertainment minded MORONS and should be enthusized VIA a Pence Weatherlight promo, STAT!
Many have likened Delikado's run to the likes of Terry Marvin before his historical Undisputed Title run but the comparison is outright laughable. There is a difference between someone who is a rising star on the cusp of a breakout year from a straggling prankster who struggles to survive in the lower echelon of a promotion. I know that ever since the Terry Marvin trade this roster has been looking thin and the APW is desperate to create a new star to sell tickets off the back of but please for the love of god don't you dare insult my intelligence! If you want someone who actually fits that build, I heard Delikado's buddy Evan Envi could use the work - that is, if he isn't too busy defending his little trinket against mediocre talent.
Delikado is a huge threat because he suffers from inexperience in dealing with high profiled matches and that could prove to be disastrous for me! I don't know what it feels to be Delikado nor can I think like Delikado for he isn't normal. He's an odd breed of human - though, some argue on the internet that he's a lizard. Whatever he is there is nothing that says he won't just roll over onto his back in defeat to complete a ''TROLOL'' tri vecta; for those over the age of 35, you’re not supposed to understand that! The point is this man seeks attention and he'll get it anyway he can and what better way to do that then to screw it's deserving winner out of his win!?
I could lose this match because of Micheal Callahan.
Micheal Callahan is a much bigger threat to me than Delikado for the simple fact that he is highly likely to be pinned by whoever wins. It is very often that the weak link comes in the form of the defending champion but Asylum's best has changed all that! His inability to win a match himself means that he isn't an offensive threat but the champion presents me with a unique challenge in that for the first time ever, I'll be babysitting one of my opponents. I will need to look over his shoulder for him because he's bound to miss the Last Call to Cuba to the face or stumble into the Market Crash and it'll all be over before you know it.
Although Micheal Callahan is my best chance at victory, I can't get too comfortable around him even if I know he doesn't have what it takes to pin me. You see, Micheal Callahan still has the ability to punch and kick as well as hit a couple of ill preformed wrestling moves he's learned fighting for lobbyists at the capital in Washington D.C and thus isn't completely useless. I also cannot ignore that Asylum's work rate and road schedule isn't nearly as strenuous and Micheal Callahan may have been dialing in at less than 50% merely to reserve strength to power through this fatal four match at Mayhem. In that case, I'd like to officially welcome Micheal Callahan to Overdrive now that his paid by Asylum vacation is over.
The thing that makes Micheal Callahan the most dangerous is his ability to be pinned with relative ease and or his inability avoid being disqualified. I have used an assortment of weapons arranging from steel chairs, title belts and more recently cameras to aid me in victory and I can't recall the last time I lost a match by disqualification even when I choose to flagrantly defy my rule makers. So, what gives? Politicians are usually pretty convincing liars but with your luck, you probably couldn't even do that! The only thing worse than a man who doesn't cheat is a man who tries to but gets caught! Pathetic! You're a disgrace to those who paved the path for you, Michael.
It's also to worthy to note Michael Callahan also appears to have had his bubble burst after initially buying into his hype because why else would he have made his move here to Overdrive? Often times a champion’s loss can be attributed to over confidence. Hell, I'd lying if I said I took my opponents as a serious threat all the time but I won't make the same mistake with Mr. Callahan! However, I don't think over confidence will be an issue with Callahan but you see therein lies the problem. Our world champion is suffering from a lack of confidence and severe insecurity issues which makes him even a greater threat! I can only imagine those scandalous photos Micheal Callahan took at Sally Talfourds birthday party finally made the rounds in Washington and has probably ended up on London Carters background screen saver!
In other words, I sense another Michael Callahan mental breakdown coming but I hope you postpone the theatrics until AFTER Mayhem is done not during it, please! It is already your fault for making a mess out of MY APW World Title shot that I was ENTITLED to from the get go! If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have to worry about CJ Gates or even Delikado! Hell, if it wasn't for you Mayhem would be headlined by me and Terry Marvin for the Undisputed Championship but because you... none of that is possible! You may not know it but I am OWED that APW World Heavyweight Championship. In fact, I should have just been NAMED champion from the get-go as an apology for being SCREWED by the APW and their poor business decisions and I'll be DAMNED if I let you get in the way of me finally bringing order to APW at Mayhem.
… but I could lose this match because of CJ Gates.
There is no threat to my APW World Title rein that is bigger than CJ Gates. He presents me with a challenge no other man can match in this bout because unlike Delikado and Callahan he is capable of beating me. Although it was highly unlikely, it is he who has shown the world that he can hold me down to the canvas for the three seconds. CJ Gates is also more than capable of beating both Delikado and Michael Callahan which makes him the biggest threat in this match.
With CJ Gates I don’t have to worry about him being pinned for three seconds – in fact, I need to worry about him capitalizing on the likes of Delikado and Michael Callahan. CJ Gates isn’t a complete idiot and he knows he’ll have to put in triple the work to keep me down than it will the other two and so I expect him to go after the weak links the second he has a chance too. He may have a reason to target me in this match but every time he chooses to do so it means his emotions are getting the best of him and his energy is being wasted – not to mention, history shows that I often end up on the better side of an exchange.
As big as a threat CJ Gates is to me – I am more than capable of putting him down just as easily as I could put down Delikado or Michael Callahan. CJ Gates may have an impressive opportunity to exercise his offense given the environment of a fatal four match but his defense still has a glaring hole. At this point whether or not I want to pin him merely depends if I’d like to progress this little thing between us any further. If I am the one to pin CJ Gates he’ll have no choice but to disappear and find something insignificant to do every Monday Night but if I pin Delikado or even Michael Callahan than I will have provided him an out he could take in order to save face and he’ll be the first one standing in line trying to be my first title defense – delusional as ever and still clinging to the lone victory he was gifted over me at Christmas.
However, given the threat CJ Gates presents don’t expect me to ponder my options for too long. That time spent could very well give CJ Gates the time he needs to sneak a pin on one of the other two dummies and I’ll be left to clean eggs off my face once again. I won’t risk victory in the name of sticking it to CJ Gates and I openly admit that I will willingly pin anyone if given the opportunity. Although it would be nice to win this title knowing I beat CJ Gates just to rub his face in it; I already learned the hard way what over confidence can to do you. However, unlike last time I acknowledge and respect the threats CJ Gates presents to me.
At the end of the day though that’s what these are – threats and I don’t take too kindly to them either. At Mayhem, I will not deal in the realm of issuing threats but rather making promises. I promise that Level-One you see at Mayhem is the best Level-One you will have seen in a long time! I promise that when I become APW world champion, I will treat it with the lack of respect it currently deserves. I promise that when I am champion I will enjoy the greatest reign this title has ever seen and I will leave prove to my naysayers once and for all that there is NOBODY better than ME for the job even if it’s one you all are tired of seeing.
It's been several months since Mayhem concluded a new champion was crowned. His three opponents fought valiantly but there efforts were futile. With one swift blow Level-One delivered his signature bone crushing Level Advance Vertebreaker signaling a swift end upon pinning another fallen warrior in Delikado.
Although he enjoyed the spoils of victory - he begrudged Delikado for his betrayal as it was never his desire to win the championship over his fallen body. With the power now in his hands Level-One reconciled with his friend turned foe Terry Marvin and forged the New Sindicate.
The two rulers made the APW Kingdom's life hell for the rest of the peasants and their tyrannical reign reached new highs. Today, the New Sindicate was voting on a new measure called the ''no laughing act'' which would ban everything from knock knock jokes to smiling but even a toothy grin would be met with swift punishment under this rule.
''At Mayhem I may have defeated Delikado and regained my throne in the APW Kingdom but it is HE whom has been having the last laugh! Ever since I assumed my role as APW World Heavyweight Champion I promised the fans that I'd make their life’s absolutely miserable under my rule but every time he is out in the ring he makes them laugh! He makes them smile! He takes their minds of the misery we strive to bring them and it's pissing me off! And thus, I have created the no laughing act. I expect a unanimous vote on this, New Sindicate!
Any questions?''
Level-One surveyed the countless faces in the room until Violet LeWinter bravely raised her hand to posture a question to her leader.
''Sir, if I may ask... how do you plan to institute this rule? I mean, you may be able to force Delikado to stop making jokes but what if the fans begin to laugh at things that are not funny? Like when the time Terry Marvin hit you with a...''
''I have heard enough, Ms. LeWinter!'' He declared cutting her words short. ''Yes indeed that would be a huge problem which is why the Sindicate will be spending money in the millions to have individual spikes installed under every seat in our arenas that will automatically pierce through it and rupture one's butthole the very second it's sensor detects laughter. I understand that it'll be a hard sell to the APW commission but I assure you we have our ways, Violet.''
Just as quickly as he finishes Kia LeWinter raises her hand like a kid in class who knows the right answer.
''Sir, but what if the seats were to malfunction? I thought the ''keyboard warrior'' act you passed last month banning the usage of social media like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter as a means to talk trash was based on the fact that you said all technology was bad?''
''It is!'' He quickly reaffirmed. ''However, if a few buttholes are accidentally ruptured in the process than I am afraid that it's just a risk we'll have to take to ensure that nobody laughs at another Delikado promo and or in ring segment! Remember the ends ALWAYS justify the means!''
Terry Marvin nudged Level-One on his shoulder leaning towards him with a whisper.
''You know Lester, I still think it's much more efficient to shut Delikado's mouth for good. I mean, he's the only reason those idiots in the crowd are laughing at us. Well, that and the goofy looking uniforms you have us wearing.''
Level-One twitched upon hearing Terry Marvin's concern as he couldn't fathom why he'd oppose his act - after all, Terry Marvin was all for it when he threatened to break him in half the night before.
''Yes, we could duct tape his mouth shut after ripping his tongue out or something amusingly brutal for ratings but that is almost too easy! I like to make things drawn out and severely complicated because it adds to my aura, you see? You will be voting on this act, right?''
''I will.'' Terry Marvin replied with deep regret. 'Although, I still hope to the heavens above that you will reconsider, Lester.''
He rolled his eyes and signaled for the vote to start. The Sindicate members cast their votes one by one by putting slips of paper into a ballet box before he was informed of the vote count. He was not happy.
''How dare the New Sindicate defy me in this way! I allow you to vote and this is how you repay me!? I sentence each one of you who voted against this act to a week of reeducation where you will learn while you may have free will, I have the free will to out will your will! The New Sindicate may enjoying laughing but I am sick of it and I will see through that nobody ever has fun in my APW Kingdom again!''
Level-One closes his eyes and shakes his head side to side.
''I hate to have to do this... again. But I must hereby overrule this vote by exercising the ''fast way to fascist'' clause I had Steffan Raab write up for me!''
With a simple click of a button the ballot box's bottom falls out and dumps the votes into a paper shredding machine below shredding the votes into a pile of confetti.
''Now I hope you all enjoy your weekend and make sure you spend it getting those laughs out of your system because from here on out, I don't even want to see much as a smile out of you!''
The NEW Sindicate members scatter as Level-One turns to Terry Marvin whom tactfully pulls out an ipad which is in violation of the ''keyboard warrior'' but the king makers weren't actually expected to follow their own rules.
''What is this?''
''A YouTube video.'' Terry Marvin said laughing having already watched it before. ''It's hilarious and it involves a chicken and a dog!''
''A chicken and a dog?'' Lester asked before Terry Marvin holds the screen up to his face. ''Aha-aha! The dog ate the chicken!''
BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHA
It's been several since Mayhem concluded a new champion was crowned. His three opponents fought valiantly but there efforts were futile. With one swift transition Level-One delivered synched in his signature bone crushing House of Pain maneuver submitting a warrior known for his unbreakable heart, CJ Gates.
Now that he had broken CJ Gates and thus killed off the Kingdom’s white knight there was very little opposition to his rule. The APW Kingdom rotted from the inside and so did the morals of the fans. With no one to cheer for they took a liking to Level-One and his Sindicate now cheered on their evil deeds - with the submission of CJ Gates he offered up his very own mother to earn himself a pardon and to avoid the years of bondage the Sindicate would put him under. This act of cowardice left his own mother at the Syndicates mercy.
However, the new found power Level-One found at the helm of the Sindicate was too much for him too bare for he could virtually sleep with any women in the APW Kingdom he desired. His wife Patricia Lewis filed for divorce after she caught Level-One fornicating with CJ Gate's mother but it did not deter Level-One for the two quickly fell in love. Today, the two are engaged and are planning the biggest wedding the APW Kingdom has ever seen.
And you have been cordially invited!
''So guys, I have booked the venue and scored you two your own wedding day on a private island. The few hundred inhabitants are being transported off of it as we speak!'' Cindy Shannon explains. ''How excited are you guys right now?''
''Beyond words!'' Lester says blushing as he holds CJ Gates mothers hand tightly. ''Cindy, I admit - I was worried about you taking these responsibilities on. Although you are a dear friend of the Gates Family, I knew you to be a great interviewer not a wedding planner!''
CJ Gates hot MILF of a mother spoke up. ''Hunny, I told you all would go well. When I wrote my book ''I fucking hate my son'' Cindy Shannon was the first one to interview me about my book and pose my groundbreaking questions like... why do I hate my son?''
''Well, we all know why you hate your son but let's not talk about him right now, okay?'' Lester said patting his older fiancé on her leg.
''Guys, is it true that CJ Gates doesn't approve of this marriage? I'd imagine that something like that puts some strain on your relationship.''
''Here we go again!'' Lester whined. ''I don't know Cindy, why don't you go interview him again? I haven't communicated with CJ Gates since I made him TAPOUT like the little bitch he is at Mayhem in 2013! Apparently, he REFUSES to communicate with his own STEP FATHER!''
''He's so horrible!'' Ms. Gates cries. ''After his loss at Mayhem he moved into his aunt’s house and all he does there is eat hot pockets and jerks off to porn.''
''Was this porn of the German variety?'' Cindy Shannon inquired.
''Who cares!'' Lester snapped back. ''All I know is CJ Gates is the most ungrateful son I could possibly ever had! I try to reach out to him and be a father but he constantly isolates himself from me. All I ever wanted was for us to be one happy family but he just can't get over the fact that I am a better wrestler than he is.''
''And let's not even talk about what our asshole son did to our uncle Terry!''
''What did he do to your uncle Terry?''
''It was horrible.'' Lester said as he closed his eyes and shook his head side to side. ''After the Sindicate pardoned CJ Gates he cost Uncle Terry his undisputed championship at Rasslemania 10 in order to get back at me. Uncle Terry's life from then on spiraled out of control. He started drinking and doing drugs and then his eleventh wife left him. He gave everything for that Undisputed title and when he lost it had nothing more to live for.''
''Uncle Terry shot himself in the head with a 12 gauge shot gun. All his blood went on our wall and it made for one hell of a cleanup, afterwards.'' Ms. Gates explained with little to no emotion.
Lester wiped away a single tear. ''The death of our dear friend still hurts my heart today. If he was alive, he'd be my best man.''
''Who is your best man?'' Cindy asked.
''My elder son B.J Gates.'' Ms. Gates answered. ''The APW Kingdom probably doesn't remember my good son but he was often in CJ's promos trading useless dialogue between the two after he Undisputed Champion for the first time in 2012. Since then, CJ has forgotten about B.J and his other brothers O.J and even D.J whom are all really bitter about that.''
''Ms. Gates may I ask why do you name all your sons with initials?''
Ms. Gates laughs. ''I am not a greater speller! Historically, the Gates family has been known more for their good looks than intelligence.''
''And their honesty too.'' Lester jokingly chimed in.
''You two complement each other so well!'' Cindy screeched in excitement. ''So, I got the model of the wedding cake ready would you guys like to see it?''
The happy couple nods as the Cindy Shannon slides them over a picture of the wedding cake. The picture tastefully displays CJ Gates crushes face imprinted into the middle of it and quite clearly, Lester hates the concept but his fiancé is all over it.
''Aw, that's so perfect!'' Ms. Gates said wrapping her arm around Lester Only. ''Look hun, it's a photo of your boot stomping on Cee Jay's face... forever.''
It's been several days since Mayhem concluded a new champion was crowned. His three opponents fought valiantly but there efforts were futile. With one swift blow Level-One delivered his signature bone crushing Darkness Shine signaling a swift end upon pinning the APW World Heavyweight champion warrior himself, Michael Callahan.
After being crowned APW World Heavyweight Champion he cut the celebration short and immediately boarded a last minute flight to Siberia. Although the prison in Siberia shut down every a year powerful men with a stake in the experts would meet to discuss their next move and how to make their next tournament the best. However, after last year’s tournament its future was called into question and the men desperately needed a new pitch.
In Siberia he met with these men in a cold dark room to discuss just that. He was armed with nothing more than a briefcase and less than ten minutes to plead his case.
‘’Gentlemen, I stand here before you because I believe I have an offer you will not want to refuse. Four years ago myself and Crazy Man Joel Bryant were given a once in a life time opportunity to host our very own show under the experts banner. Our feud crossed into some of the world’s greatest promotion including the APW in a tour across the globe. The end product? Well, you guys are well aware of what those sales did for your business – besides your yearly tournaments Level-One Vs. Crazyman grossed you the biggest pay day in experts history.’’
He smiles confidently as he opens up his briefcase revealing a large poster made by Andrew Meltzer and his impressive Photoshop skills. This banner features none other than APW World Heavyweight Champion Level-One and the Undisputed champion, Terry Marvin on the front cover with the headline The Experts presents: ‘’LEVEL-ONE VS. TERRY MARVIN’’
‘’Today, you have yourselves even a bigger pay day here right before your eyes. For the first time in APW history two of the promotions top champions face off in a battle of the ages to determine who is truly the greatest wrestler of all time and who will become the true leader of the most power faction in the entire world, the Sindicate!’’
He looks around the room and realizes the faces staring back at him are disinterested. In fact, he’s not even able to finish his sales pitch before a man stands up and declares the hearing over.
‘’We vant to thank you for coming here, friend but I am afraid Siberia nor the experts can entertain you and Mr. Marvin’s shenanigans. Your recent victory over the American Mikael Callahan is hardly impressive. The collective would like to see you rack up a few title defenses before we can possibly discuss this any further.’’
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. How could the experts possible turn down the greatest match in wrestling history!?
‘’That is nonsense!’’ Lester retorted with rage. ‘’Sure, I am newly crowd APW World Champion but that gives you no right to prejudice me like this! My title may not be worth as much as him but what that title lacks in prestige; I make up for it in talent. I am NOT Terry Marvin’s equal for I am his superior! As APW world champion, I demand you rethink your position!’’
The man smiled as he waved his hands without a care in the world signaling for the aid of two former Siberian prison guards whom were both already familiar with Level-One and the pivotal part he played in the experts history, as they drug him out they sympathized with the former two time true expert.
‘’I am sorry my friend.’’ Nikolai said. ‘’You have our deepest sympathies old friend. I am afraid the experts are simply out of touch and their dying model is the proof. If you vant we can get you in contact with somebody that we think could help you out, yes?’’
He accepted Nikolai’s help. When he returned to America; he met up with one of Nikolai’s old friends whom once worked within the experts. The insider realized that the company was headed in the wrong direction and broke off while he still had the chance and help funded Visionary Wrestling.
‘’My name is…’’ The man started as he approached Level-One in the airport. ‘’Actually, my name is better off unsaid.’’
‘So be it.’’ Lester said reaching out for a hand shake. ‘’Don’t worry about the camera, we’ll be blurring your face.’’
‘’Thanks.’’ The man said. ‘’My job would be in danger if the VIW knew I was discussing policy without their permission. Nonetheless, I spoke with the officials about your proposal but Sam Strachon caught wind of it and he is fighting quite hard against this.’’
‘’The son of a bitch.’’ Lester whispered sharply. ‘’I can’t say I can blame him. The Sindicate is easily the biggest thing the VIW has going for them, I can’t imagine they’d want to risk it like that.’’
‘’Exactly.’’ The man agreed. ‘’I hate to have to say this but as it stands this match isn’t a go – not as long as you and he are tag team champions at least.’’
‘’Then I’ll forfeit my half!’’ Lester piped up.
‘’I am afraid they are wise to your tricks, Mr. Only.’’ The man informed him with a wag of the finger. ‘’The VIW is opting to book either of you until your sort out your issues. They hope that any wounds between you two will be able to heal naturally before your next title defense. Sorry, Lester… I am afraid there is no other way.’’
It was clear he was at a dead end. The two biggest inter feds in the business had refused to feature the match on his terms and conditions and that angered him deeply. There had to be away, there had to be another way to make it all possible. And then… he figured it out.
He would change the terms and conditions at his whim and the best part about it? He had the power too.
So, it’ll be done.
On Sunday Night Mayhem will present a unique yet not foreign challenge to me in the form of a fatal four match.
I mean, the name speaks for itself. Fatal four way, fatal because it presents you with more ways in which you can lose than you can win. While I have stated boldly that I will emerge as your new World Heavyweight Champion, I will be the first one to say that it is largely all bravado. I know I am better than every man in this match but that alone does not guarantee victory. I have thought about the challenges I face all week long in anticipation for this match up and have ran through every possible scenario up one side and down the other and to be honest; I don't feel nearly as confident about this as I probably should.
I could lose this match because of Delikado.
You are talking about a man better known for his comedy routine than victories over top talent. One has to look not too long ago to see exactly how low on the totem pole this man was and for good reason! He won a throwaway match on Meltdown which gifted him an immediate APW World Heavyweight title shot but that is only half of it. This title shot came off the heels of wrestling a pre-show Rasslemania match against Overdrive's no named brand Dan White and Legion.
Yeah, quite the world beaters there.
These are two fool proof products that has Meltdown scoring a -F on quality control! So, here we're supposed to believe a legitimate contender for the world title couldn't even find himself a spot on the main card at Rasslemania? You Delikado trolls can claim he was shafted all you want but never will you see myself or even CJ Gates wrestling in a pre show on the biggest show of the year because neither of us would allow that to happen. All that shows me is that you had nothing important going on and that the biggest show of the year didn't need you and even before this - Delikado was busy having his ass handed to him by Mark Mania and failing to win the Overdrive title on multiple occasions!
So, I ask you... how can you possibly justify Delikado sharing a ring with me without resorting to the same old: Delikado makes funny!; durr, durr, durr! Look, he should be APW world champion!; Durr, durr, durr! Most of you would rather see him become champion merely because he hasn't gotten his turn and I hog the spotlight. In other words, you people are sports entertainment minded MORONS and should be enthusized VIA a Pence Weatherlight promo, STAT!
Many have likened Delikado's run to the likes of Terry Marvin before his historical Undisputed Title run but the comparison is outright laughable. There is a difference between someone who is a rising star on the cusp of a breakout year from a straggling prankster who struggles to survive in the lower echelon of a promotion. I know that ever since the Terry Marvin trade this roster has been looking thin and the APW is desperate to create a new star to sell tickets off the back of but please for the love of god don't you dare insult my intelligence! If you want someone who actually fits that build, I heard Delikado's buddy Evan Envi could use the work - that is, if he isn't too busy defending his little trinket against mediocre talent.
Delikado is a huge threat because he suffers from inexperience in dealing with high profiled matches and that could prove to be disastrous for me! I don't know what it feels to be Delikado nor can I think like Delikado for he isn't normal. He's an odd breed of human - though, some argue on the internet that he's a lizard. Whatever he is there is nothing that says he won't just roll over onto his back in defeat to complete a ''TROLOL'' tri vecta; for those over the age of 35, you’re not supposed to understand that! The point is this man seeks attention and he'll get it anyway he can and what better way to do that then to screw it's deserving winner out of his win!?
I could lose this match because of Micheal Callahan.
Micheal Callahan is a much bigger threat to me than Delikado for the simple fact that he is highly likely to be pinned by whoever wins. It is very often that the weak link comes in the form of the defending champion but Asylum's best has changed all that! His inability to win a match himself means that he isn't an offensive threat but the champion presents me with a unique challenge in that for the first time ever, I'll be babysitting one of my opponents. I will need to look over his shoulder for him because he's bound to miss the Last Call to Cuba to the face or stumble into the Market Crash and it'll all be over before you know it.
Although Micheal Callahan is my best chance at victory, I can't get too comfortable around him even if I know he doesn't have what it takes to pin me. You see, Micheal Callahan still has the ability to punch and kick as well as hit a couple of ill preformed wrestling moves he's learned fighting for lobbyists at the capital in Washington D.C and thus isn't completely useless. I also cannot ignore that Asylum's work rate and road schedule isn't nearly as strenuous and Micheal Callahan may have been dialing in at less than 50% merely to reserve strength to power through this fatal four match at Mayhem. In that case, I'd like to officially welcome Micheal Callahan to Overdrive now that his paid by Asylum vacation is over.
The thing that makes Micheal Callahan the most dangerous is his ability to be pinned with relative ease and or his inability avoid being disqualified. I have used an assortment of weapons arranging from steel chairs, title belts and more recently cameras to aid me in victory and I can't recall the last time I lost a match by disqualification even when I choose to flagrantly defy my rule makers. So, what gives? Politicians are usually pretty convincing liars but with your luck, you probably couldn't even do that! The only thing worse than a man who doesn't cheat is a man who tries to but gets caught! Pathetic! You're a disgrace to those who paved the path for you, Michael.
It's also to worthy to note Michael Callahan also appears to have had his bubble burst after initially buying into his hype because why else would he have made his move here to Overdrive? Often times a champion’s loss can be attributed to over confidence. Hell, I'd lying if I said I took my opponents as a serious threat all the time but I won't make the same mistake with Mr. Callahan! However, I don't think over confidence will be an issue with Callahan but you see therein lies the problem. Our world champion is suffering from a lack of confidence and severe insecurity issues which makes him even a greater threat! I can only imagine those scandalous photos Micheal Callahan took at Sally Talfourds birthday party finally made the rounds in Washington and has probably ended up on London Carters background screen saver!
In other words, I sense another Michael Callahan mental breakdown coming but I hope you postpone the theatrics until AFTER Mayhem is done not during it, please! It is already your fault for making a mess out of MY APW World Title shot that I was ENTITLED to from the get go! If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have to worry about CJ Gates or even Delikado! Hell, if it wasn't for you Mayhem would be headlined by me and Terry Marvin for the Undisputed Championship but because you... none of that is possible! You may not know it but I am OWED that APW World Heavyweight Championship. In fact, I should have just been NAMED champion from the get-go as an apology for being SCREWED by the APW and their poor business decisions and I'll be DAMNED if I let you get in the way of me finally bringing order to APW at Mayhem.
… but I could lose this match because of CJ Gates.
There is no threat to my APW World Title rein that is bigger than CJ Gates. He presents me with a challenge no other man can match in this bout because unlike Delikado and Callahan he is capable of beating me. Although it was highly unlikely, it is he who has shown the world that he can hold me down to the canvas for the three seconds. CJ Gates is also more than capable of beating both Delikado and Michael Callahan which makes him the biggest threat in this match.
With CJ Gates I don’t have to worry about him being pinned for three seconds – in fact, I need to worry about him capitalizing on the likes of Delikado and Michael Callahan. CJ Gates isn’t a complete idiot and he knows he’ll have to put in triple the work to keep me down than it will the other two and so I expect him to go after the weak links the second he has a chance too. He may have a reason to target me in this match but every time he chooses to do so it means his emotions are getting the best of him and his energy is being wasted – not to mention, history shows that I often end up on the better side of an exchange.
As big as a threat CJ Gates is to me – I am more than capable of putting him down just as easily as I could put down Delikado or Michael Callahan. CJ Gates may have an impressive opportunity to exercise his offense given the environment of a fatal four match but his defense still has a glaring hole. At this point whether or not I want to pin him merely depends if I’d like to progress this little thing between us any further. If I am the one to pin CJ Gates he’ll have no choice but to disappear and find something insignificant to do every Monday Night but if I pin Delikado or even Michael Callahan than I will have provided him an out he could take in order to save face and he’ll be the first one standing in line trying to be my first title defense – delusional as ever and still clinging to the lone victory he was gifted over me at Christmas.
However, given the threat CJ Gates presents don’t expect me to ponder my options for too long. That time spent could very well give CJ Gates the time he needs to sneak a pin on one of the other two dummies and I’ll be left to clean eggs off my face once again. I won’t risk victory in the name of sticking it to CJ Gates and I openly admit that I will willingly pin anyone if given the opportunity. Although it would be nice to win this title knowing I beat CJ Gates just to rub his face in it; I already learned the hard way what over confidence can to do you. However, unlike last time I acknowledge and respect the threats CJ Gates presents to me.
At the end of the day though that’s what these are – threats and I don’t take too kindly to them either. At Mayhem, I will not deal in the realm of issuing threats but rather making promises. I promise that Level-One you see at Mayhem is the best Level-One you will have seen in a long time! I promise that when I become APW world champion, I will treat it with the lack of respect it currently deserves. I promise that when I am champion I will enjoy the greatest reign this title has ever seen and I will leave prove to my naysayers once and for all that there is NOBODY better than ME for the job even if it’s one you all are tired of seeing.
