Post by Jason Cashe on Jun 9, 2013 0:32:12 GMT -4
Spending his time inside of a Wrestling School, Golden Boy Wrestling School to be precise has been his entire week. Jason Kash got drunk to swallow emotion. He felt pathetic for various reasons but he knew putting his focus BACK on wrestling would help. Even before he opens his eyes, the sound of weight benches, snapping punches and slams inside the ring can be heard from the back room where he's been staying. Sweeping his feet off the cot, Kash sits up and stretches.
Jason Kash: Aaaghhaamm!!
Grabbing his shirt, he fits into it and stands to his feet. These last few days have been hell but it was a hell he created for himself and needed, wanted to be done with all that as he peeks out into the gym to see Juan Ramirez and his Coaching Staff working with a few new talents. He laughs knowing the pains they'll have tomorrow. Starting in this business was painful. Welts, aches but everyone who completes training feels great about it. He leaves the doorway and turns away from the training out in the gym.
Jason Kash: You'd think after beating Anthony Bailey twice in a row I would be celebrating, being happy. Yet the emotions inside of me were far from that. I celebrated but in a wrong, very WRONG way. My head was spinning, I mean the chick I THOUGHT was down with me, got mad when I flirted but went and found extra attention through how many different people while we were together? I paid what debt I owed to Level One, letting dude inside the building at Asylum but now all ties are cut off. He surrounded by women, how can I pretend he's got a strong crew behind him when New Sindicate thick flexing on folks? Who am I to judge that when it was my girl making nice with someone who outright SHITS on the Belt that I helped build? Dumb as hell.
Juan Ramirez: What's dumb?
Turning to see Juan Ramirez standing in the door way, he's got a bottle of water he sips on. Wiping the sweat from his forehead, Ramirez nods for Kash to move so he can sit down on the cot.
Jason Kash: It's nothing, just some shit I have to be at fault for.
Juan Ramirez: You still on that KJE shit homie? Man let that rest, she was going through guy friends like she was single. You did what you had too. Dr. Dre made it clear you can't turn a Hoe into a House wife. Leave it be and move on..
Jason Kash: Yeah, yeah I hear you man...I just expected more. I'm gonna head up on the roof for a little bit alright?
Juan Ramirez: Man don't be pissing off the roof again a'ight?
Jason Kash: I was drunk, cut me some slack..haha! Thanks again for letting me camp out here for the last few days.
Walking away towards the back, Kash heads to the stairs to get access to the roof. Ramirez smiles and thinks to himself as to why he has allowed Kash to sleep here. It was obvious. The man just donated 50 grand to Golden Boy. Pushing open the roof door, Kash can feel a gust of wind hit him to the face. The door slams shut after he steps out onto the tar covered roof top. Not as tall as most of the buildings in New York but he felt like he was standing above most people walking by. He liked being out on roofs, even as a kid roofs gave him a peaceful place to think, clear his mind of all the bad shit he is constantly thinking about. This is what he needed right now.
Jason Kash: I've made bad decisions before in my life, who hasn't? Yet this last decision I made has me on the fence every time I put thought into it. I think I was beginning to really have feelings for Kay. She claimed to for me. Yet walks through the park, partners who pride themselves on their hoes and now a man who lets her wear his BELT and I'm the bad guy? I feel it in myself because I went about it the wrong way. I could have just hired CHEATERS but how fucking desperate would that have been? Maury maybe? It's principal good damnit! She didn't come to me for help when she got jumped or needed assistance, she went to other people. Fine. That's how it was and in the end she drove me to do what I did. Stage things to appear like I was going to cheat..And it took me a good few days to put to rest the feelings that came after the break up. Didn't take her long to hit the clubs and try new things..Figures...
Standing to the edge of the roof, Kash looks down and lets a build up of spit fall from his pressed lips. A short gust of wind blows by and sends a chill up his spine.
Jason Kash: Now I move on. I can't fight with myself to figure out what I did wrong because that takes from my future inside the ring. If I can't mend a broken fence twice then I tear it down and move on without it. That's what I will do in this moment. I have all the love in the world for the one that could have been. Now she's wearing a belt crapped on by the guy I let into the building at Asylum. See when I first came into APW, Level One welcomed me and Knuckles and we assisted him then. He gave us a springboard through the ranks just by being associated to him. So the favor was now returned and I find myself pulling for The New Sindicate. Not that I like them anymore because they've grown the same nutsack that the Pillars grew thinking they were special. That faded quick though didn't it? They've also dodged me much like everyone other than AJP since they've been on this show..Funny ain't it? The chick having the biggest balls and her name ain't Sally!
That reminds of Jair Hopkins in a sense because he too has been the only member of The Dying Breed to willingly step up and fight me when he was asked. He was quick to get involved back when the "Pro Life" was around and be it that TLC Match or the Parking Lot Brawl after that Jair Jair, what happened? I'm not gonna sit up here and toot my own horn because others can look at the history of what I've done to see all those victories. What matters now is NOW and right now I get the chance to beat you again. I enjoyed our last fight, out in the parking lot. You brought things to a whole other level, something Bailey was afraid to do. He took his wins over me and looked past me but I won't make that mistake with you Hopkins. Nah...How can I? We share friends now don't we?
One arming himself over the side of the building and sits down on the edge. Letting his feet dangle, Kash dusts his hands off as he stares out over the streets at both his right and left. Reaching up, he scratches the back of his head as he slightly licks his bottom lip.
Jason Kash: I'm not here to get under your skin Hopkins. Golden Boy has done a lot for me as of late. Hell I spent more on the donation to this place than I spent on my fucking House! Ramirez is good people, he's a solid guy. I'm here because I'm teaching myself a life lesson. Something I'm sure you've had to learn a few times yourself. It's why you were here not long after getting out of the Hospital. I get it man, this is your sacred place. The place where it all started for you. The place where you got the skills to FOLLOW in Bailey's shadow and we both know that it's the truth.
When was the last time you even had a shot at going after a Contendership for a singles title? Logan got them, even Young Mannie has gotten a few. Williams as well but you? You've been overlooked, passed up on time after time man. It's clear as a crystal ball and everyone wants to make it into something it just isn't. Your weak moment of popping pills. I get why you did that now...When I felt that warmth, that pain in my chest, my heart because of the KJE situation...I thought about so many different things. Drinking was one of them and I never drink.
Playing chicken with Ramirez's car when he picked me up..I got punched for thinking that out loud. Even coming up here, discovering the roof top and thinking about the plunge of diving off. Not because I couldn't LIVE without her because I can and will have too now but because that pain just sucks. Being alone, not knowing if your friends are really friends or just associates looking out for themselves in the long run...
That is heavy in your thoughts and heart. I feel you man. I share that pain with you. But Test For The Best...That's the injection I need to get passed it. That's the Addiction I want filled next. I will hurt you Hopkins, not because I hate YOU but because I will beat anyone standing in my way from getting into this tournament. Winning this tournament. Now more than ever I question who my real friends are, I felt betrayed by someone I shared things with I don't share with Reaver. Now I have to take that emotion out on someone and Management gives me you...
An attractive woman in yoga pants walks by, she smiles up at Kash as he sits dangling from the roof. She waves at him and he nods not really wanting to do more than that, still sore from the KJE adventures. From the building comes Juan Ramirez and he watches the chick actually walking to the sidewalk and watching her walk off. He looks up at Kash and raises his arms in confusion.
Juan Ramirez: She was smiling at you!?! I was sitting here thinking honey was smiling at me and here you are just sitting there? Whats wrong with you man? Piece like that!?!
Waving off Ramirez, he goes back inside. Kash continues looking out over the streets and the other buildings in the surrounding area. It's not that he wasn't attracted to the female. He loved yoga pants but he didn't see beauty, he seen him not being good enough for her. Toothless, joking all the time, maybe it was him who wasn't a safe bet to have as an ally for KJE. He didn't know what to think and needed to get past it.
Jason Kash: The world moves forward with or without you Hopkins. It's seen in both of our live, you've experienced it even before the overdose. When Ramirez scooped you off the streets you seen life and death in an instant correct? You seen the struggle of man. I've lived it, watched it, and felt it's power but time doesn't wait. It doesn't really go into slow motion like it might seem. People go on about their day. Maybe I'm not as good as I want to be, maybe I'm not the man I thought I was inside the ring and maybe you can prove that Hops. Maybe I deserve the pain of feeling hurt even though I made the end for KJE and I. Maybe it's the karma I've received from doing the things I've done to Bailey, to you. To Dying Breed period.
If that's the case then I will see the ceiling lights come Asylum. If that is my fate then I will watch you get your Hand Raised but best believe, put the house on it because I will fight, I will claw and go to opening a chest cavity as I always have in this match. You know my style man, I don't step back from a fight and I look FORWARD to the battle in front of us both. Ask Bailey how different of a man I have become since last year, since you and I took it to the parking lot. Ask him if my heart is weakened inside the ring, no matter the struggle outside the ring I promise you this Jair Jair...I will get through those ropes and I will lock up with you like it's my final match. Like it's the World Title, Undisputed Title on the line right then and there. I will be in this tournament and at the end of the night come June 30th I will be the Best one Tested and it will be MY HAND RAISED...You will look back to this very moment and realize then that I wasn't lying..
My head is away from the ring right now, I broke a bridge I wanted so badly not to break but once out in that arena? Once I feel the electricity of the people and their boos, their cheers...That addiction begins to fill the vile and each punch, each slam, and each spot we go through that needle attached to the vile injects to my veins and friend, foe, girlfriend, Father or Brother I will fill my craving and find my path to the Throne once again. Not because I have too because let's face facts, I retire tomorrow and I'm one of the FIRST names added to the next Hall Of Fame ballot. I will get to the throne again because I crave it, because being a Champion has been away from me for long enough. Door Number One has an Undisputed Title in my future, maybe a World Title even. Who knows, maybe I take it to Level One after T4TB if for no other reason than for what he does to the Title I HELPED MAKE FAMOUS...
Maybe I'm not good enough..
Maybe I don't deserve it..
But I will take it because I earn the right to do so...
Suddenly he leans forward, his face buries into both hands and it seems he has began crying. Doubting himself, his emotion, his own worth. He needs to get in the ring again and it's starting to show. Starting to break him down like a junkie would get. He needs his fix..
Jason Kash: Aaaghhaamm!!
Grabbing his shirt, he fits into it and stands to his feet. These last few days have been hell but it was a hell he created for himself and needed, wanted to be done with all that as he peeks out into the gym to see Juan Ramirez and his Coaching Staff working with a few new talents. He laughs knowing the pains they'll have tomorrow. Starting in this business was painful. Welts, aches but everyone who completes training feels great about it. He leaves the doorway and turns away from the training out in the gym.
Jason Kash: You'd think after beating Anthony Bailey twice in a row I would be celebrating, being happy. Yet the emotions inside of me were far from that. I celebrated but in a wrong, very WRONG way. My head was spinning, I mean the chick I THOUGHT was down with me, got mad when I flirted but went and found extra attention through how many different people while we were together? I paid what debt I owed to Level One, letting dude inside the building at Asylum but now all ties are cut off. He surrounded by women, how can I pretend he's got a strong crew behind him when New Sindicate thick flexing on folks? Who am I to judge that when it was my girl making nice with someone who outright SHITS on the Belt that I helped build? Dumb as hell.
Juan Ramirez: What's dumb?
Turning to see Juan Ramirez standing in the door way, he's got a bottle of water he sips on. Wiping the sweat from his forehead, Ramirez nods for Kash to move so he can sit down on the cot.
Jason Kash: It's nothing, just some shit I have to be at fault for.
Juan Ramirez: You still on that KJE shit homie? Man let that rest, she was going through guy friends like she was single. You did what you had too. Dr. Dre made it clear you can't turn a Hoe into a House wife. Leave it be and move on..
Jason Kash: Yeah, yeah I hear you man...I just expected more. I'm gonna head up on the roof for a little bit alright?
Juan Ramirez: Man don't be pissing off the roof again a'ight?
Jason Kash: I was drunk, cut me some slack..haha! Thanks again for letting me camp out here for the last few days.
Walking away towards the back, Kash heads to the stairs to get access to the roof. Ramirez smiles and thinks to himself as to why he has allowed Kash to sleep here. It was obvious. The man just donated 50 grand to Golden Boy. Pushing open the roof door, Kash can feel a gust of wind hit him to the face. The door slams shut after he steps out onto the tar covered roof top. Not as tall as most of the buildings in New York but he felt like he was standing above most people walking by. He liked being out on roofs, even as a kid roofs gave him a peaceful place to think, clear his mind of all the bad shit he is constantly thinking about. This is what he needed right now.
Jason Kash: I've made bad decisions before in my life, who hasn't? Yet this last decision I made has me on the fence every time I put thought into it. I think I was beginning to really have feelings for Kay. She claimed to for me. Yet walks through the park, partners who pride themselves on their hoes and now a man who lets her wear his BELT and I'm the bad guy? I feel it in myself because I went about it the wrong way. I could have just hired CHEATERS but how fucking desperate would that have been? Maury maybe? It's principal good damnit! She didn't come to me for help when she got jumped or needed assistance, she went to other people. Fine. That's how it was and in the end she drove me to do what I did. Stage things to appear like I was going to cheat..And it took me a good few days to put to rest the feelings that came after the break up. Didn't take her long to hit the clubs and try new things..Figures...
Standing to the edge of the roof, Kash looks down and lets a build up of spit fall from his pressed lips. A short gust of wind blows by and sends a chill up his spine.
Jason Kash: Now I move on. I can't fight with myself to figure out what I did wrong because that takes from my future inside the ring. If I can't mend a broken fence twice then I tear it down and move on without it. That's what I will do in this moment. I have all the love in the world for the one that could have been. Now she's wearing a belt crapped on by the guy I let into the building at Asylum. See when I first came into APW, Level One welcomed me and Knuckles and we assisted him then. He gave us a springboard through the ranks just by being associated to him. So the favor was now returned and I find myself pulling for The New Sindicate. Not that I like them anymore because they've grown the same nutsack that the Pillars grew thinking they were special. That faded quick though didn't it? They've also dodged me much like everyone other than AJP since they've been on this show..Funny ain't it? The chick having the biggest balls and her name ain't Sally!
That reminds of Jair Hopkins in a sense because he too has been the only member of The Dying Breed to willingly step up and fight me when he was asked. He was quick to get involved back when the "Pro Life" was around and be it that TLC Match or the Parking Lot Brawl after that Jair Jair, what happened? I'm not gonna sit up here and toot my own horn because others can look at the history of what I've done to see all those victories. What matters now is NOW and right now I get the chance to beat you again. I enjoyed our last fight, out in the parking lot. You brought things to a whole other level, something Bailey was afraid to do. He took his wins over me and looked past me but I won't make that mistake with you Hopkins. Nah...How can I? We share friends now don't we?
One arming himself over the side of the building and sits down on the edge. Letting his feet dangle, Kash dusts his hands off as he stares out over the streets at both his right and left. Reaching up, he scratches the back of his head as he slightly licks his bottom lip.
Jason Kash: I'm not here to get under your skin Hopkins. Golden Boy has done a lot for me as of late. Hell I spent more on the donation to this place than I spent on my fucking House! Ramirez is good people, he's a solid guy. I'm here because I'm teaching myself a life lesson. Something I'm sure you've had to learn a few times yourself. It's why you were here not long after getting out of the Hospital. I get it man, this is your sacred place. The place where it all started for you. The place where you got the skills to FOLLOW in Bailey's shadow and we both know that it's the truth.
When was the last time you even had a shot at going after a Contendership for a singles title? Logan got them, even Young Mannie has gotten a few. Williams as well but you? You've been overlooked, passed up on time after time man. It's clear as a crystal ball and everyone wants to make it into something it just isn't. Your weak moment of popping pills. I get why you did that now...When I felt that warmth, that pain in my chest, my heart because of the KJE situation...I thought about so many different things. Drinking was one of them and I never drink.
Playing chicken with Ramirez's car when he picked me up..I got punched for thinking that out loud. Even coming up here, discovering the roof top and thinking about the plunge of diving off. Not because I couldn't LIVE without her because I can and will have too now but because that pain just sucks. Being alone, not knowing if your friends are really friends or just associates looking out for themselves in the long run...
That is heavy in your thoughts and heart. I feel you man. I share that pain with you. But Test For The Best...That's the injection I need to get passed it. That's the Addiction I want filled next. I will hurt you Hopkins, not because I hate YOU but because I will beat anyone standing in my way from getting into this tournament. Winning this tournament. Now more than ever I question who my real friends are, I felt betrayed by someone I shared things with I don't share with Reaver. Now I have to take that emotion out on someone and Management gives me you...
An attractive woman in yoga pants walks by, she smiles up at Kash as he sits dangling from the roof. She waves at him and he nods not really wanting to do more than that, still sore from the KJE adventures. From the building comes Juan Ramirez and he watches the chick actually walking to the sidewalk and watching her walk off. He looks up at Kash and raises his arms in confusion.
Juan Ramirez: She was smiling at you!?! I was sitting here thinking honey was smiling at me and here you are just sitting there? Whats wrong with you man? Piece like that!?!
Waving off Ramirez, he goes back inside. Kash continues looking out over the streets and the other buildings in the surrounding area. It's not that he wasn't attracted to the female. He loved yoga pants but he didn't see beauty, he seen him not being good enough for her. Toothless, joking all the time, maybe it was him who wasn't a safe bet to have as an ally for KJE. He didn't know what to think and needed to get past it.
Jason Kash: The world moves forward with or without you Hopkins. It's seen in both of our live, you've experienced it even before the overdose. When Ramirez scooped you off the streets you seen life and death in an instant correct? You seen the struggle of man. I've lived it, watched it, and felt it's power but time doesn't wait. It doesn't really go into slow motion like it might seem. People go on about their day. Maybe I'm not as good as I want to be, maybe I'm not the man I thought I was inside the ring and maybe you can prove that Hops. Maybe I deserve the pain of feeling hurt even though I made the end for KJE and I. Maybe it's the karma I've received from doing the things I've done to Bailey, to you. To Dying Breed period.
If that's the case then I will see the ceiling lights come Asylum. If that is my fate then I will watch you get your Hand Raised but best believe, put the house on it because I will fight, I will claw and go to opening a chest cavity as I always have in this match. You know my style man, I don't step back from a fight and I look FORWARD to the battle in front of us both. Ask Bailey how different of a man I have become since last year, since you and I took it to the parking lot. Ask him if my heart is weakened inside the ring, no matter the struggle outside the ring I promise you this Jair Jair...I will get through those ropes and I will lock up with you like it's my final match. Like it's the World Title, Undisputed Title on the line right then and there. I will be in this tournament and at the end of the night come June 30th I will be the Best one Tested and it will be MY HAND RAISED...You will look back to this very moment and realize then that I wasn't lying..
My head is away from the ring right now, I broke a bridge I wanted so badly not to break but once out in that arena? Once I feel the electricity of the people and their boos, their cheers...That addiction begins to fill the vile and each punch, each slam, and each spot we go through that needle attached to the vile injects to my veins and friend, foe, girlfriend, Father or Brother I will fill my craving and find my path to the Throne once again. Not because I have too because let's face facts, I retire tomorrow and I'm one of the FIRST names added to the next Hall Of Fame ballot. I will get to the throne again because I crave it, because being a Champion has been away from me for long enough. Door Number One has an Undisputed Title in my future, maybe a World Title even. Who knows, maybe I take it to Level One after T4TB if for no other reason than for what he does to the Title I HELPED MAKE FAMOUS...
Maybe I'm not good enough..
Maybe I don't deserve it..
But I will take it because I earn the right to do so...
Suddenly he leans forward, his face buries into both hands and it seems he has began crying. Doubting himself, his emotion, his own worth. He needs to get in the ring again and it's starting to show. Starting to break him down like a junkie would get. He needs his fix..
