Post by Reaver on Jun 15, 2013 2:24:55 GMT -4
Reaver: ….and that's the second time I got crabs!
Dr. Bryce: Did you really come all the way here to tell me about your problems or your pelvic region?
Reaver: A lil' of both? HEHEHEHAHAHAHA!
It's no secret that Reaver has gone through a lot over the past year or so. Family, friends, identity theft, hospitals, backstage brawls? He figured it might be time to start looking for answers in places where he might need an extra set of eyes to see. The scene opens inside the psychiatric offices of Dr. Jason Bryce who has experience in the field of multiple personalities. Sitting in his $5,000 leather chair staring at Reaver who seems to squirming side to side on some cheap Dollar Store grade sofa with half the pelt falling off. It almost looks like he took it off the curb before trash day.
It doesn't look too professional since the Doctor's degrees were held onto the wall with duct tape. Almost an absolute mismatch with certain pieces of high quality furniture trying to cover up the shit downgrading his credibility. Reaver continues to rock back and forth trying to keep from giggling uncontrollably. His recent loss to Jair Hopkins continues to stew in his mind. How a guy who had nothing thinks he earned something with a simple roll up. It came with the territory. Slip ups happen but to see the rematch over and over as Hopkins get brutalized only to steal the win with a school boy pin; then celebrating it as if it was anything BUT lucky. His pride was damaged and if he wanted to continue further in the Test For The Best tournament match then he needed to find his flaws.
Dr. Bryce: So tell me something John, How was life as a child for you?
Reaver: I don't remember much. I remember hiding in sewers and looking for food in trash cans. Not much else. Not really that different considering my diet lately eh? HEHEHAHAHA!
Dr. Bryce: I see, so how does that make you feel?
Reaver: Really? I'm paying you a butt load of cash and THIS is the best question you have for me?
Dr. Bryce: Just doing my job John.
Reaver: DON'T CALL ME THAT!! John is dead.......
Dr. Bryce: Hmm I see. So who all IS alive?
Reaver: Well ME DUH!! HEHEHAHAHA! Oh, there's also Jason my tag team partner for Foul Play and he even got me a new pet monkey who I call Spank. HA! Get it?
Dr. Bryce: Spank is it? Where is he?
Reaver: I would have brought him in here but your secretary outside said no animals. I then proceeded to tell her “then who let your buffalo ass in here?” HEHEHAHAHA! God I love me some large women. I don't think she likes me though....
Dr. Bryce: Who else is alive?
Before he could let him speak, he goes on the intercom, which looks like its ten bucks away from being a pair of dixie cups and some string, and asks his secretary to allow the monkey in the room.
Reaver: Well, I don't really have many other people. I have my girlfriends at Centerfolds! Then I also have the two friends I see whenever I stand near the window in the bathroom.
Dr. Bryce: The bathroom?
Reaver: YA! I open it up and take some pain killers but when I close it, there they are staring at me. I think they tease me a lot since they like to copy every word I say. One of them even speaks in Spanish which I don't even understand.
Dr. Bryce: You mean the medicine cabinet? Ahh yes.
Reaver: I see what's going on here. You think I'm crazy don't you?
Dr. Bryce: Well I....
The secretary saves him at the last second as she walks in with Reaver's monkey Spank. He's so excited to see his friend that he jumps up and gives Reaver a big hug. He looks at the doctor and sticks his tongue out at him and gives him a raspberry. Reaver chuckles which makes Spank want to do more random things. He proceeds to take off his monkey diaper (yes they have those) and stars flinging poo at the walls. The secretary runs off before she could become a target as the Doctor sits there unamused. The looks of discontent clouds his face as he sighs his way to the next set of questions while Reaver and Spank laugh.
Dr. Bryce: You know, I don't appreciate the rude behavior of either of you. If I didn't need the clientele, I would have dismissed you both already.
Reaver: No kidding doc, where'd you find this couch? In the dumpster of a used laundromat? HEHEHAHAHA!
Dr. Bryce: Why yes I did!
Reaver: Wow, AWKWARD!!
Dr. Bryce: So tell me more about these friends you see “in the window”.
Reaver: Well, the one guy is what I used to look like before....the accident. The other is a guy I've never met before. He speaks Spanish so I don't know what he's saying.
Dr. Bryce: It seems to me that before you can come to grips with who you are, you must understand the meanings of these “friends” of yours.
Reaver: What do you mean?
Dr. Bryce: John, I did some back story on you and from the sound of things; you aren't ready to move on with your life. The monkey you walk around with is Spank. No doubt named after the the manager of your old friend Slammy the Clown whom you were former Tag Team Champions with.
Reaver: Whoa!! Doc! Yous' right!!
The brief nostalgia mentioned by the doctor managed to bring back Johnny Knuckles for the moment before he went back to rocking himself from side to side holding his monkey. He started humming to himself but the song was unclear until he started adding words.
Reaver: He's got the WHOOOOLLLEEE WORLD! IN HIS HANDS!! He's got the wh....
Dr. Bryce: Then you seem to have this other “persona” if you will that has yet to be established.
Reaver: Que?! Que es esto? Dos cervezas pro favor? El gato mis pantelones?
Dr. Bryce: I think this might be the yearning for your old friend El Pollo Loco.
Reaver: I don't know who that is. Doesn't sound like a friend of mine doc but I LOVES me some fried chicken HEHEHAHAHA!
Reaver continues to hum to himself as he rocks side to side holding Spank. Flashbacks flicker in his mind of a Mexican friend who's life was taken during a shoot out years ago in an old factory warehouse. All the while, Dr. Bryce checks his Walmart Casio watch that beeps at him signaling him that this session is over.
Dr. Bryce: Well John, our time is up for now. I think we're starting to make progress but I definitely need to see you again and yes cash upfront just like this time.
he happily stands and escorts Reaver out who seemingly is still humming to himself; all the while being lead by Spank who is trying to get out of the smelly office. I'm pretty sure the poo he flung made the smell of the room better. Dr. Bryce closes the door a little too eagerly and as he turns he slips on some of the leftover monkey matter and falls as the scene fades.
Reaver: People need help from time to time. Taking a step back to analyze my mistakes from a new set of eyes can help now and again. HA! I said anal! HEHEHAHAHA! Hopkins beat me. He took advantage where he could and advances to the next round. I just find it funny how he claims that he had more heart than me when I was whooping that ass all over the ring. Not once did he acknowledge that it was luck that got him the victory. It was my brutality, skill and HEART that laid his ass out immediately after. Call a spade a spade tin man. You outsmarted me, far from ever having more heart. Coming from a suicide failure, I won't exactly take it too personally.
What it DID do however, was make me look back at what's taking place. It pushed me back into a bracket that is forced to fight for survival, thrown into the corner subjected to top rated talent in a battle royale' to go the longest and hardest way to the top of the test. Whoever makes it out of this match will no doubt find themselves having the toughest challenge of the whole thing.
I remember the year I started. Rumors of Sally Talfourd going the distance and walking away from Test For The Best with a title shot, then going into Shockwave and doing just that over Level One himself. CJ Gates the year later did the same thing and left Shockwave the new Champion over Biggs. The shock heard round the world as Kurt Noble screwed Biggs to help crown a new ERA for APW. Then we have Mr. Showtime himself Terry Marvin walking away from Test For The Best last year with HIS opportunity only to take full advantage of it at Shockwave by upsetting Kurt Noble in HIS new reign of terror.
Test For The Best has a lot more meaning than most people realize. That last year I had my greatness in the palm of my hand only to lose it by a fraction of a second. It could have been me, it should have been but it wasn't. The edge of greatness staring down at me and I failed like I always have in APW for the past three years. Why do I even bother? Why do I put myself through such grueling and agonizing hell and torture only to be let down over and over? Perhaps it's because I feel it. Deep down inside I'm destined for greatness and I'm just buying my time. The hardest road through the test of tests is mine for the making and mine for the taking.
What should happen if I fail? What were to happen to the likes of me and my psyche if I was to fall off the hands of grace once more? Would I presume to just rip my hair out in a tantrum? Would I spend the rest of my evening hunting down the other members of the match backstage and hurt them beyond belief until satisfied? Or would I choose to cower in the laments of those before me? This year is MY destiny. It was foretold, by Salsman in accounting, that the year of the 13 would belong to the man who reaves it. So far my lust for blood has gotten the best of me to the point where I can no longer hear or see my very own identity. Who am I?
I am the man who has busted his ass for three long and painful years of coming up short time and time again to make it just this far. I am the man who you should worry about raping you on live TV if I so see fit. Don't worry TOO much. I would rather use each and every one of you as the condom to fuck something much bigger HEHEHEHAHAHA!!!
Atlanta will see the coming of MY ERA heading into Shockwave. It will be MY turn to finally grab the cusp of greatness just as Sally Talfourd, CJ Gates, and Terry Marvin all have. This is a true test of wills and while everybody in this match might think they have the advantage, none of them see the true picture of who wants it most. I DO! I need it, NEED IT! I need it like Jason Kash needs his next addictive challenge. I need it like Branden Harvey needs to make his come back. I need it like more than my very own existence.
Then again, based on my track record I'd probably blow it in the ninth right? Another lost pay per view, another loss added to the already mountain of losses. Another failed prospect in my way only to be laughed at by the likes of those who never saw me as a threat. The same people who go home and fondle themselves to old footage of me in my prime. I'm getting older by every passing year and with every new day comes a new type of desperation. The same desperation that will fuel my desire to fulfill my destiny against the likes of anybody who steps in front of me this year. You have no choice but to stand aside because I earned it. I earned it for every chair shot I took, every foot I fell from high elevation, every scar, every ounce of blood lost. You have no choice but to accept the fact that I refuse to stay down even after the failure. I know what it means to be tested, and this year will be different than last.
It makes no difference who gets added to this match, because they will fail just as I have for three years. It will be me to move on to Test For The Best just as I did last year against Heavyweight Champion after Heavyweight Champion. It will be me to head into Shockwave, stealing the very breath out of everybody when I upset the WORLD by becoming Undisputed Champion just as my predecessors before me have. Their struggle, their fight, their test......
...will be my strength, my desire,
...my destiny to succeed once and for all.
Dr. Bryce: Did you really come all the way here to tell me about your problems or your pelvic region?
Reaver: A lil' of both? HEHEHEHAHAHAHA!
It's no secret that Reaver has gone through a lot over the past year or so. Family, friends, identity theft, hospitals, backstage brawls? He figured it might be time to start looking for answers in places where he might need an extra set of eyes to see. The scene opens inside the psychiatric offices of Dr. Jason Bryce who has experience in the field of multiple personalities. Sitting in his $5,000 leather chair staring at Reaver who seems to squirming side to side on some cheap Dollar Store grade sofa with half the pelt falling off. It almost looks like he took it off the curb before trash day.
It doesn't look too professional since the Doctor's degrees were held onto the wall with duct tape. Almost an absolute mismatch with certain pieces of high quality furniture trying to cover up the shit downgrading his credibility. Reaver continues to rock back and forth trying to keep from giggling uncontrollably. His recent loss to Jair Hopkins continues to stew in his mind. How a guy who had nothing thinks he earned something with a simple roll up. It came with the territory. Slip ups happen but to see the rematch over and over as Hopkins get brutalized only to steal the win with a school boy pin; then celebrating it as if it was anything BUT lucky. His pride was damaged and if he wanted to continue further in the Test For The Best tournament match then he needed to find his flaws.
Dr. Bryce: So tell me something John, How was life as a child for you?
Reaver: I don't remember much. I remember hiding in sewers and looking for food in trash cans. Not much else. Not really that different considering my diet lately eh? HEHEHAHAHA!
Dr. Bryce: I see, so how does that make you feel?
Reaver: Really? I'm paying you a butt load of cash and THIS is the best question you have for me?
Dr. Bryce: Just doing my job John.
Reaver: DON'T CALL ME THAT!! John is dead.......
Dr. Bryce: Hmm I see. So who all IS alive?
Reaver: Well ME DUH!! HEHEHAHAHA! Oh, there's also Jason my tag team partner for Foul Play and he even got me a new pet monkey who I call Spank. HA! Get it?
Dr. Bryce: Spank is it? Where is he?
Reaver: I would have brought him in here but your secretary outside said no animals. I then proceeded to tell her “then who let your buffalo ass in here?” HEHEHAHAHA! God I love me some large women. I don't think she likes me though....
Dr. Bryce: Who else is alive?
Before he could let him speak, he goes on the intercom, which looks like its ten bucks away from being a pair of dixie cups and some string, and asks his secretary to allow the monkey in the room.
Reaver: Well, I don't really have many other people. I have my girlfriends at Centerfolds! Then I also have the two friends I see whenever I stand near the window in the bathroom.
Dr. Bryce: The bathroom?
Reaver: YA! I open it up and take some pain killers but when I close it, there they are staring at me. I think they tease me a lot since they like to copy every word I say. One of them even speaks in Spanish which I don't even understand.
Dr. Bryce: You mean the medicine cabinet? Ahh yes.
Reaver: I see what's going on here. You think I'm crazy don't you?
Dr. Bryce: Well I....
The secretary saves him at the last second as she walks in with Reaver's monkey Spank. He's so excited to see his friend that he jumps up and gives Reaver a big hug. He looks at the doctor and sticks his tongue out at him and gives him a raspberry. Reaver chuckles which makes Spank want to do more random things. He proceeds to take off his monkey diaper (yes they have those) and stars flinging poo at the walls. The secretary runs off before she could become a target as the Doctor sits there unamused. The looks of discontent clouds his face as he sighs his way to the next set of questions while Reaver and Spank laugh.
Dr. Bryce: You know, I don't appreciate the rude behavior of either of you. If I didn't need the clientele, I would have dismissed you both already.
Reaver: No kidding doc, where'd you find this couch? In the dumpster of a used laundromat? HEHEHAHAHA!
Dr. Bryce: Why yes I did!
Reaver: Wow, AWKWARD!!
Dr. Bryce: So tell me more about these friends you see “in the window”.
Reaver: Well, the one guy is what I used to look like before....the accident. The other is a guy I've never met before. He speaks Spanish so I don't know what he's saying.
Dr. Bryce: It seems to me that before you can come to grips with who you are, you must understand the meanings of these “friends” of yours.
Reaver: What do you mean?
Dr. Bryce: John, I did some back story on you and from the sound of things; you aren't ready to move on with your life. The monkey you walk around with is Spank. No doubt named after the the manager of your old friend Slammy the Clown whom you were former Tag Team Champions with.
Reaver: Whoa!! Doc! Yous' right!!
The brief nostalgia mentioned by the doctor managed to bring back Johnny Knuckles for the moment before he went back to rocking himself from side to side holding his monkey. He started humming to himself but the song was unclear until he started adding words.
Reaver: He's got the WHOOOOLLLEEE WORLD! IN HIS HANDS!! He's got the wh....
Dr. Bryce: Then you seem to have this other “persona” if you will that has yet to be established.
Reaver: Que?! Que es esto? Dos cervezas pro favor? El gato mis pantelones?
Dr. Bryce: I think this might be the yearning for your old friend El Pollo Loco.
Reaver: I don't know who that is. Doesn't sound like a friend of mine doc but I LOVES me some fried chicken HEHEHAHAHA!
Reaver continues to hum to himself as he rocks side to side holding Spank. Flashbacks flicker in his mind of a Mexican friend who's life was taken during a shoot out years ago in an old factory warehouse. All the while, Dr. Bryce checks his Walmart Casio watch that beeps at him signaling him that this session is over.
Dr. Bryce: Well John, our time is up for now. I think we're starting to make progress but I definitely need to see you again and yes cash upfront just like this time.
he happily stands and escorts Reaver out who seemingly is still humming to himself; all the while being lead by Spank who is trying to get out of the smelly office. I'm pretty sure the poo he flung made the smell of the room better. Dr. Bryce closes the door a little too eagerly and as he turns he slips on some of the leftover monkey matter and falls as the scene fades.
Reaver: People need help from time to time. Taking a step back to analyze my mistakes from a new set of eyes can help now and again. HA! I said anal! HEHEHAHAHA! Hopkins beat me. He took advantage where he could and advances to the next round. I just find it funny how he claims that he had more heart than me when I was whooping that ass all over the ring. Not once did he acknowledge that it was luck that got him the victory. It was my brutality, skill and HEART that laid his ass out immediately after. Call a spade a spade tin man. You outsmarted me, far from ever having more heart. Coming from a suicide failure, I won't exactly take it too personally.
What it DID do however, was make me look back at what's taking place. It pushed me back into a bracket that is forced to fight for survival, thrown into the corner subjected to top rated talent in a battle royale' to go the longest and hardest way to the top of the test. Whoever makes it out of this match will no doubt find themselves having the toughest challenge of the whole thing.
I remember the year I started. Rumors of Sally Talfourd going the distance and walking away from Test For The Best with a title shot, then going into Shockwave and doing just that over Level One himself. CJ Gates the year later did the same thing and left Shockwave the new Champion over Biggs. The shock heard round the world as Kurt Noble screwed Biggs to help crown a new ERA for APW. Then we have Mr. Showtime himself Terry Marvin walking away from Test For The Best last year with HIS opportunity only to take full advantage of it at Shockwave by upsetting Kurt Noble in HIS new reign of terror.
Test For The Best has a lot more meaning than most people realize. That last year I had my greatness in the palm of my hand only to lose it by a fraction of a second. It could have been me, it should have been but it wasn't. The edge of greatness staring down at me and I failed like I always have in APW for the past three years. Why do I even bother? Why do I put myself through such grueling and agonizing hell and torture only to be let down over and over? Perhaps it's because I feel it. Deep down inside I'm destined for greatness and I'm just buying my time. The hardest road through the test of tests is mine for the making and mine for the taking.
What should happen if I fail? What were to happen to the likes of me and my psyche if I was to fall off the hands of grace once more? Would I presume to just rip my hair out in a tantrum? Would I spend the rest of my evening hunting down the other members of the match backstage and hurt them beyond belief until satisfied? Or would I choose to cower in the laments of those before me? This year is MY destiny. It was foretold, by Salsman in accounting, that the year of the 13 would belong to the man who reaves it. So far my lust for blood has gotten the best of me to the point where I can no longer hear or see my very own identity. Who am I?
I am the man who has busted his ass for three long and painful years of coming up short time and time again to make it just this far. I am the man who you should worry about raping you on live TV if I so see fit. Don't worry TOO much. I would rather use each and every one of you as the condom to fuck something much bigger HEHEHEHAHAHA!!!
Atlanta will see the coming of MY ERA heading into Shockwave. It will be MY turn to finally grab the cusp of greatness just as Sally Talfourd, CJ Gates, and Terry Marvin all have. This is a true test of wills and while everybody in this match might think they have the advantage, none of them see the true picture of who wants it most. I DO! I need it, NEED IT! I need it like Jason Kash needs his next addictive challenge. I need it like Branden Harvey needs to make his come back. I need it like more than my very own existence.
Then again, based on my track record I'd probably blow it in the ninth right? Another lost pay per view, another loss added to the already mountain of losses. Another failed prospect in my way only to be laughed at by the likes of those who never saw me as a threat. The same people who go home and fondle themselves to old footage of me in my prime. I'm getting older by every passing year and with every new day comes a new type of desperation. The same desperation that will fuel my desire to fulfill my destiny against the likes of anybody who steps in front of me this year. You have no choice but to stand aside because I earned it. I earned it for every chair shot I took, every foot I fell from high elevation, every scar, every ounce of blood lost. You have no choice but to accept the fact that I refuse to stay down even after the failure. I know what it means to be tested, and this year will be different than last.
It makes no difference who gets added to this match, because they will fail just as I have for three years. It will be me to move on to Test For The Best just as I did last year against Heavyweight Champion after Heavyweight Champion. It will be me to head into Shockwave, stealing the very breath out of everybody when I upset the WORLD by becoming Undisputed Champion just as my predecessors before me have. Their struggle, their fight, their test......
...will be my strength, my desire,
...my destiny to succeed once and for all.
