Post by gzavadak on Jun 17, 2013 11:59:29 GMT -4
Last week’s Monday Night Meltdown was a truly momentous occasion, one that marked a very big first. Not only did “The Evangelist” Jerry Matthews successfully rebound from failing to qualify for the Test of the Best tournament with a huge victory over Catherine Jewel, but he found what could potentially be his biggest ally in his war against the unforgivable conduct that marks the APW locker room in Meltdown GM Sienna Harrison. Never before had Matthews ever been so expressly endorsed by an authority figure. This endorsement has reinvigorated his holy war against the Meltdown brand’s rampant sin, and there is no telling what blow he and Deacon Jeremiah would try to strike next.
Then again, there is the upcoming match against a professional wrestling legacy in Ron Rufio. A victory will not only showcase President Jeff’s neglect of using nepotism as a hiring policy but would also help the Southern preacher gain even more ground in his bid to become the next APW North American Championship. Will Rufio share the same fate as Legion, London Carter, and Catherine Jewel while the good Reverend continues his upward trajectory? Or, can Rufio shock the world and prove that Sienna Harrison’s faith in the holy man was badly placed?
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The scene opens to the sanctuary of Birmingham First Baptist Church. The sanctuary is filled to the brim, as per usual, with the usual parishioners, all dressed in their Sunday best. At the front of the room stands the Reverend Jerry Matthews wearing his mask and a set of all-white pastoral robes. In front of him stand a young couple, the husband wearing a black suit and the wife wearing a rather conservative blue dress. In her arms, the wife holds a young infant. The infant is crying, and the woman attempts to comfort her son by rocking him back and forth. But, it is to no avail. In between the couple and the pastor stands a wooden baptismal font, with the bowl full of water.
Matthews steps forward to the couple, and places his left hand on the infant’s forehead. Unlike the child’s mother, the good Reverend is successful in quieting the child. Matthews looks to his congregation and raises his arms in an aw shucks fashion.
Jerry Matthews: I guess you’d say that I have the touch or something like that.
The congregation laughs for a few seconds following the preacher’s sarcastic remark. Matthews continues once the laughter ceases.
Jerry Matthews: Well, enough of the humor. Today, we have the pleasure of bearing witness to the welcoming of a lamb to the Lord’s flock. Just as the Son himself was baptized by John the Baptist two millennia ago, so will this child be welcomed into the family of God with open arms.
The congregation begins to applaud loudly. Some even hoot and holler a little. Matthews motions to the crowd for silence.
Jerry Matthews: Yes, brothers and sisters, I agree. This is an occasion that does carry with it quite a great deal of excitement. So, let us begin.
Matthews looks at the child’s parents.
Jerry Matthews: Are you the parents of the child?
Couple: Yes.
Jerry Matthews: Do you, today, accept the responsibility of raising this child to be a good, loving, caring, and faithful disciple of the Lord thy God? That he will respect the Lord’s commandments, venerate the name of the Lord to the highest, and to act as his moral compass?
The couple nod and answer.
Couple: We do.
Jerry Matthews: May I see the child?
The woman hands over her baby boy to the pastor. The pastor takes the child in his arms, and he recites a prayer. After the prayer, he raises his head, and sticks one hand into the baptismal font.
Jerry Matthews: Robert Lee Sorenson, I baptize you today in the name of the Father.
Matthews removes his hand from the font and makes a mark on the child’s forehead in the form of the cross. He then dips his hand into the font again.
Jerry Matthews: In the name of the Son…
He repeats the process one last time.
Jerry Matthews: And in the name of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Matthews raises young Robert above his head.
Jerry Matthews: Fellow brothers and sisters of the faithful, I present your newest brother, Robert Lee Sorenson.
Another, and this time louder, round of applause breaks out. The number of cat calls and shouts of encouragement have increased as well. One male parishioner in the front of the sanctuary even stands up and begins to utter a prayer in tongues to celebrate the occasion. A smile crosses the pastor’s face, and the parents look like they couldn’t be happier as the scene fades to black.
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The scene opens to the pastoral offices of Birmingham First Baptist Church. Inside the office, seated at his desk, is “The Evangelist” Jerry Matthews. He is wearing a white cotton suit. His face remains partially obscured by his mask. He is leaning back in his chair, with his feet resting on the top of his desk.
Jerry Matthews: You know something, friends?
Matthews takes his feet off of the desk and places them on the floor. He sits up and then turns himself to better face the camera.
Jerry Matthews: This entire week, I couldn’t help but feel a bit peculiar. Why, you may ask? Well, as I’m sure many of you are aware, Christians around the world are forced to live in constant fear of the discrimination and persecution they may receive just by walking down the street. And, this isn’t a trend that has become new with my generation. In the beginning years of the church, it was routine for thousands of Romans to gather in the nearest coliseum to watch one of your ancestors being fed to a hungry beast of prey. To be forced to practice your faith in secret is something that no man should be forced to do, especially when it involves worshiping and honoring the Father himself.
Matthews crosses himself.
Jerry Matthews: Which is why I couldn’t have been in more shock when I was approached prior to last week’s Meltdown in Las Vegas of all places. She came to me and expressed her wishes to formally endorse me in my efforts to not only be the savior that Action Packed Wrestling is in such dire need of, but to also proclaim that I will, sooner rather than later, get a shot at the APW North American Championship.
The preacher shakes his head, as if still in disbelief.
Jerry Matthews: Ms. Harrison told me she felt the need to do so because she agrees with my ministry and all that it teaches. Blaming thyself to save thyself. Getting on your knees before the Lord, and sincerely repenting for any and all of the horrible sins you’ve committed. All so that you don’t spend the rest of eternity with the truly wicked as your flesh slowly burns to a crisp. Never before have I actually been in the good graces of a person in power. Whether it’s the very board of directors of my denomination scolding me for being nothing more than a public relations nightmare for my “extreme” tactics and rhetoric or general managers so caught up in their atheism that they do anything to keep me from achieving success like former PCW GM James Baker. I’ve always been looked at in a bad light for my beliefs and the lengths I go to defend them in a world that is wrought with being politically correct. But, an epiphany like this is what makes Sienna Harrison the preeminent example of how to run a wrestling show. And that is why her mistreatment by fans on a weekly basis greatly saddens me.
"She endorsed me because of all of the good works I’ve been able to accomplish in my rather short stay on Meltdown. I’ve exposed Legion as the false messenger that he was. I ran promising upstart London Carter out of the company after I beat the fear of God into him. Perhaps now he has finally decided to renounce his feelings for Anthony Bailey and decided to repent himself. And, on top of it all, I have managed to, at least for a week, relieve the Twitter universe of the lecherous fantasies of Catherine Jewel participating in a threesome with millionaire playboy Michael Jennings and Kaylyn Evans."
Matthews shakes his head again.
Jerry Matthews: I’ve already worked to dispel so much of the evil that runs deep in this promotion’s veins, and yet, I still feel that I haven’t made as much of a difference as I hoped I would. Sure, London Carter is gone, but Catherine Jewel continues to attempt to whore her way to the top by wagering a lap dance against a title shot at Evan Envi. Clearly, further efforts will need to be made to sufficiently re-educate her. My next opponent, however, now that’s an interesting case.
Matthews reaches behind the desk and comes back with a framed original 1977 film poster of Star Wars. The poster appears to be in mint condition, except that the head of Luke Skywalker has been replaced by the head of one Ron Rufio. Matthews can’t help but share a good laugh at his handiwork.
Jerry Matthews: Since Ron Rufio is content to compare the Son to an imaginary character, I’d figured I’d do the same and fight fire with fire. Now, clearly, Ron Rufio has quite a good deal of similarities with one of American film’s greatest protagonists, one Luke Skywalker. Raised by his Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, he was trained in a form of professional wrestling that he wanted nothing to do with, choosing hardcore wrestling over technical expertise. Much like Luke wanted nothing more than to be a pilot instead of farming moisture on the arid desert planet of Tatooine. And, just like Luke, he has no doubt convinced himself that I am Darth Vader or the evil emperor, an evil ruler that he must overthrow for the sake of fairness and justice, or some other bullshit.
Matthews raises the poster over his head, and smashes the frame on the corner of his desk. Glass sprays everywhere, and the veins can be seen popping out of the good Reverend’s neck.
Jerry Matthews: Rufio, you have never made as big of a mistake as you did when you opened up the Good Book and quoted verses back to me, making a mockery of me like so many better men than you have in the past!! And the best part of it all, you failed to read the most important book of all, the Book of Revelation.
"In that book, John the Blessed describes the fiery destruction that is awaiting. The anti-Christ himself among other horrors will soon be walking amongst us, there will be earthquakes, tornadoes, floods. You name it. That is, unless humanity passes the final trial that God has set forth: repent and renounce any of your sins and do not take part in any similar behavior in the future. Accept his son as your ultimate Lord and Savior, and you will be spared the fires of Armageddon. In such a case, any and all rules go out the window. Only the truly good at heart and sincerest of repenters will be saved. God is real, Ron, and he imparted messages to me through his winged servant Gabriel that I am the only man capable of stopping this from occurring, to help man pass this ultimate and final test. So, spare me your anemic knowledge of my doctrine. Otherwise, I’ll shove the Bible so far up your ass, you’ll have the passion story memorized."
"And, Ron, for the record, I encourage you to make things hardcore. I’ve been in street fights, fought in steel cages, and avoided being buried alive. I can handle anything you might throw at me, and then some. Because God the Father is my general, and his blessing is my armor. An impenentrable armor that can’t be dinged or dented by steel chairs or kendo sticks. The Word of the Lord, Thanks Be to God."
With that, Matthews rises from behind the desk and bows his head for a moment of prayer. He then crosses himself and leaves the office as the scene fades to black.
Then again, there is the upcoming match against a professional wrestling legacy in Ron Rufio. A victory will not only showcase President Jeff’s neglect of using nepotism as a hiring policy but would also help the Southern preacher gain even more ground in his bid to become the next APW North American Championship. Will Rufio share the same fate as Legion, London Carter, and Catherine Jewel while the good Reverend continues his upward trajectory? Or, can Rufio shock the world and prove that Sienna Harrison’s faith in the holy man was badly placed?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The scene opens to the sanctuary of Birmingham First Baptist Church. The sanctuary is filled to the brim, as per usual, with the usual parishioners, all dressed in their Sunday best. At the front of the room stands the Reverend Jerry Matthews wearing his mask and a set of all-white pastoral robes. In front of him stand a young couple, the husband wearing a black suit and the wife wearing a rather conservative blue dress. In her arms, the wife holds a young infant. The infant is crying, and the woman attempts to comfort her son by rocking him back and forth. But, it is to no avail. In between the couple and the pastor stands a wooden baptismal font, with the bowl full of water.
Matthews steps forward to the couple, and places his left hand on the infant’s forehead. Unlike the child’s mother, the good Reverend is successful in quieting the child. Matthews looks to his congregation and raises his arms in an aw shucks fashion.
Jerry Matthews: I guess you’d say that I have the touch or something like that.
The congregation laughs for a few seconds following the preacher’s sarcastic remark. Matthews continues once the laughter ceases.
Jerry Matthews: Well, enough of the humor. Today, we have the pleasure of bearing witness to the welcoming of a lamb to the Lord’s flock. Just as the Son himself was baptized by John the Baptist two millennia ago, so will this child be welcomed into the family of God with open arms.
The congregation begins to applaud loudly. Some even hoot and holler a little. Matthews motions to the crowd for silence.
Jerry Matthews: Yes, brothers and sisters, I agree. This is an occasion that does carry with it quite a great deal of excitement. So, let us begin.
Matthews looks at the child’s parents.
Jerry Matthews: Are you the parents of the child?
Couple: Yes.
Jerry Matthews: Do you, today, accept the responsibility of raising this child to be a good, loving, caring, and faithful disciple of the Lord thy God? That he will respect the Lord’s commandments, venerate the name of the Lord to the highest, and to act as his moral compass?
The couple nod and answer.
Couple: We do.
Jerry Matthews: May I see the child?
The woman hands over her baby boy to the pastor. The pastor takes the child in his arms, and he recites a prayer. After the prayer, he raises his head, and sticks one hand into the baptismal font.
Jerry Matthews: Robert Lee Sorenson, I baptize you today in the name of the Father.
Matthews removes his hand from the font and makes a mark on the child’s forehead in the form of the cross. He then dips his hand into the font again.
Jerry Matthews: In the name of the Son…
He repeats the process one last time.
Jerry Matthews: And in the name of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Matthews raises young Robert above his head.
Jerry Matthews: Fellow brothers and sisters of the faithful, I present your newest brother, Robert Lee Sorenson.
Another, and this time louder, round of applause breaks out. The number of cat calls and shouts of encouragement have increased as well. One male parishioner in the front of the sanctuary even stands up and begins to utter a prayer in tongues to celebrate the occasion. A smile crosses the pastor’s face, and the parents look like they couldn’t be happier as the scene fades to black.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The scene opens to the pastoral offices of Birmingham First Baptist Church. Inside the office, seated at his desk, is “The Evangelist” Jerry Matthews. He is wearing a white cotton suit. His face remains partially obscured by his mask. He is leaning back in his chair, with his feet resting on the top of his desk.
Jerry Matthews: You know something, friends?
Matthews takes his feet off of the desk and places them on the floor. He sits up and then turns himself to better face the camera.
Jerry Matthews: This entire week, I couldn’t help but feel a bit peculiar. Why, you may ask? Well, as I’m sure many of you are aware, Christians around the world are forced to live in constant fear of the discrimination and persecution they may receive just by walking down the street. And, this isn’t a trend that has become new with my generation. In the beginning years of the church, it was routine for thousands of Romans to gather in the nearest coliseum to watch one of your ancestors being fed to a hungry beast of prey. To be forced to practice your faith in secret is something that no man should be forced to do, especially when it involves worshiping and honoring the Father himself.
Matthews crosses himself.
Jerry Matthews: Which is why I couldn’t have been in more shock when I was approached prior to last week’s Meltdown in Las Vegas of all places. She came to me and expressed her wishes to formally endorse me in my efforts to not only be the savior that Action Packed Wrestling is in such dire need of, but to also proclaim that I will, sooner rather than later, get a shot at the APW North American Championship.
The preacher shakes his head, as if still in disbelief.
Jerry Matthews: Ms. Harrison told me she felt the need to do so because she agrees with my ministry and all that it teaches. Blaming thyself to save thyself. Getting on your knees before the Lord, and sincerely repenting for any and all of the horrible sins you’ve committed. All so that you don’t spend the rest of eternity with the truly wicked as your flesh slowly burns to a crisp. Never before have I actually been in the good graces of a person in power. Whether it’s the very board of directors of my denomination scolding me for being nothing more than a public relations nightmare for my “extreme” tactics and rhetoric or general managers so caught up in their atheism that they do anything to keep me from achieving success like former PCW GM James Baker. I’ve always been looked at in a bad light for my beliefs and the lengths I go to defend them in a world that is wrought with being politically correct. But, an epiphany like this is what makes Sienna Harrison the preeminent example of how to run a wrestling show. And that is why her mistreatment by fans on a weekly basis greatly saddens me.
"She endorsed me because of all of the good works I’ve been able to accomplish in my rather short stay on Meltdown. I’ve exposed Legion as the false messenger that he was. I ran promising upstart London Carter out of the company after I beat the fear of God into him. Perhaps now he has finally decided to renounce his feelings for Anthony Bailey and decided to repent himself. And, on top of it all, I have managed to, at least for a week, relieve the Twitter universe of the lecherous fantasies of Catherine Jewel participating in a threesome with millionaire playboy Michael Jennings and Kaylyn Evans."
Matthews shakes his head again.
Jerry Matthews: I’ve already worked to dispel so much of the evil that runs deep in this promotion’s veins, and yet, I still feel that I haven’t made as much of a difference as I hoped I would. Sure, London Carter is gone, but Catherine Jewel continues to attempt to whore her way to the top by wagering a lap dance against a title shot at Evan Envi. Clearly, further efforts will need to be made to sufficiently re-educate her. My next opponent, however, now that’s an interesting case.
Matthews reaches behind the desk and comes back with a framed original 1977 film poster of Star Wars. The poster appears to be in mint condition, except that the head of Luke Skywalker has been replaced by the head of one Ron Rufio. Matthews can’t help but share a good laugh at his handiwork.
Jerry Matthews: Since Ron Rufio is content to compare the Son to an imaginary character, I’d figured I’d do the same and fight fire with fire. Now, clearly, Ron Rufio has quite a good deal of similarities with one of American film’s greatest protagonists, one Luke Skywalker. Raised by his Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru, he was trained in a form of professional wrestling that he wanted nothing to do with, choosing hardcore wrestling over technical expertise. Much like Luke wanted nothing more than to be a pilot instead of farming moisture on the arid desert planet of Tatooine. And, just like Luke, he has no doubt convinced himself that I am Darth Vader or the evil emperor, an evil ruler that he must overthrow for the sake of fairness and justice, or some other bullshit.
Matthews raises the poster over his head, and smashes the frame on the corner of his desk. Glass sprays everywhere, and the veins can be seen popping out of the good Reverend’s neck.
Jerry Matthews: Rufio, you have never made as big of a mistake as you did when you opened up the Good Book and quoted verses back to me, making a mockery of me like so many better men than you have in the past!! And the best part of it all, you failed to read the most important book of all, the Book of Revelation.
"In that book, John the Blessed describes the fiery destruction that is awaiting. The anti-Christ himself among other horrors will soon be walking amongst us, there will be earthquakes, tornadoes, floods. You name it. That is, unless humanity passes the final trial that God has set forth: repent and renounce any of your sins and do not take part in any similar behavior in the future. Accept his son as your ultimate Lord and Savior, and you will be spared the fires of Armageddon. In such a case, any and all rules go out the window. Only the truly good at heart and sincerest of repenters will be saved. God is real, Ron, and he imparted messages to me through his winged servant Gabriel that I am the only man capable of stopping this from occurring, to help man pass this ultimate and final test. So, spare me your anemic knowledge of my doctrine. Otherwise, I’ll shove the Bible so far up your ass, you’ll have the passion story memorized."
"And, Ron, for the record, I encourage you to make things hardcore. I’ve been in street fights, fought in steel cages, and avoided being buried alive. I can handle anything you might throw at me, and then some. Because God the Father is my general, and his blessing is my armor. An impenentrable armor that can’t be dinged or dented by steel chairs or kendo sticks. The Word of the Lord, Thanks Be to God."
With that, Matthews rises from behind the desk and bows his head for a moment of prayer. He then crosses himself and leaves the office as the scene fades to black.
