Doubters

[J-Hop]

MIND • BODY • SOUL

And shall I say, let the APW-version of “Game Of Thrones” begin...Alot of head-choppings will be executed this week.

Qualifiers of the “Test For The Best” Tournament goes like this...

CJ Gates, Biggs, Nathaniel Havok, AC Smith, Christian Kane, Aubrey J Parker, Logan Alexander, Jace Savage, and Robina Hood.

Holyfuckshitdamnmotherfucker.

That is a bonafide challenge. BONA-FIDE. The funny thing about this group of qualifiers is that there is not a sign of Foul Play. I rid of Reaver and on the last edition of Asylum, I showed Jason Kash what it was like when reality truly clenched down it’s bare teeth.

Logan Alexander showed the hopefuls that he was hungrier than a cave man stuck in his whole for a year plus. He showed Action Packed Wrestling that he wasn’t going home like the rest. I was just glad he finished scrubbing away any stains of Foul Play.

(Breathes easy...sorta.)

Anything goes as no one knows just who the hell they are going against. Which means for the recent paranoia and crazy bullshit I’ve gone through, it makes the situation of trying to figure out who the hell I’m gonna fight. It’s however not just me who feels it, but it’s every single competitor in this group. The likes of Alexander, Kane, or Parker being eliminated via upset. It’s new and innovative.

I don’t see myself “blowing through” this tourney.

I don’t see myself getting to the “BOSS” level and defeating it.

I just see myself as a kid taking this shit one step at a time. It’s a long, long night from start to finish. I can’t rush it, it’s gotta’ come slow.

You say “underdog”, I just say I’m a ‘sucker’ for a good challenge. The lights aren’t shining on me, it’s shining on them. Bailey tweeted, saying I will be this year’s winner. As lovely as it sounds, it’s just 140 characters of words. I can’t get hype, I have to stay level.

All these tips and tricks, I’m still days away from staring chaos in its eye.

◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘◘


JUNE 23RD 2013 -- NEW YORK, NY | HAZELDEN REHAB CENTER | 12:25 PM

DAY 26 OF 30

“So close to the damn finish line. I don’t even think Usain Bolt could run this!”

The man across from the same table I sat at chuckled hard, damn near choking on his cup of applesauce.

“It is like a triathlon and more in here.” He responded as he continued to enjoy the laughing moment. “You only got four more days, huh? Congrats! I don’t know when I’ll make it out this camp.” He said as he started to twitch a little.

Gary, he was the silent kind of guy, minds his business and just take things day by day. An active drug abuser that featured cocaine, PCP and heroin. Submitted by his daughter, Gary had been in this place going on five years. It was like a jail sentence.

“I just know I cannot wait for full freedom again.”

“You can say that again...”

As he said that, he bit down on his left pinky fingernail as he turned his attention to the window that led to the outside of the facility. As he marveled at the beauty of the clouds, I however marveled at the food that was in front of me. Pork Chop and Mashed Potatoes. Sure, it wasn’t “Big Mama’s Soul Food Session” but it hinted it was somebody up in that kitchen wanting to change up the flavor a bit. Going to pick up the Chop, I sunk my teeth down into it fast.

“Mr. Hopkins!”

Dayum, always have to interrupt a good moment. It was Dr. Springfield whose face was neutral. He stood at the top of the stairs as he waved for me to come. Kicking the leg of the table, mad about being interrupted, I got up from the table as I stepped to Dr. Springfield.

“Doc, you know you just interrupted me in a moment where I was truly, truly happy? They serving up Pork in this place!”

Doc’ smiled.

“Very sorry about that Mr. Hopkins but I need you to follow me to my office.”

My eyes widened as my hands went up with a shrug. “What’d I do?”

He shook his head immediately. “Nothing, just follow me!”

Pondering in mind what the hell it could’ve been or what the level of importance was for interrupting me during my lunch period. After a few turns and a short walk up the steps, we were in his office as he closed the door and went around to his side of the table.

“Sit please.”

Following the orders, I sat down, hands clasped together as I sat somewhat nervous. He looked at me and smiled as he reached to his right, pulling out a drawer. He pulled out a clipboard with the stationary pen to it. He then tossed it to me.

“Doc’, wha-what is this?”

He paused before answering.

“I need your signature for completion of this rehab sentence. It’s a release form.”

I was thrown off at that point.

“Huh? I got four more days in this joint!”

He shook his head.

“We’ve monitored you every day, every move you’ve taken. We’ve seen enough. You have progressed along very well. More than most of my patients. You seemed to have learned your lesson, therefore I’m granting you early release. I mean unless you want to truly finish up four more days?”

I quickly shook my head with a smile.

“Nah, I’m good. Four days out before time. That’s pretty sweet! I get to go back home.”

As I grabbed the pen, I flipped through the sheets of papers to get to the last page. Looking down at the signature line, I scribbled my name in with a smiley face to the side of it along with the date. I put the pen back in place and handed it to him.

“Good, I’ll send these through to let them know I gave you early release. You’re free to go my man!”

Jumping out the chair in celebratory fashion, a quick fist pump in the air and I was set. Adjusting my gear, I went to go out of the office.

“Thanks again Doc’ ... for everything you and your staff has done. It wasn’t for attention, it wasn’t for to feel what it’s like to be on that side of the street. It simply was me taking things way more seriously than it should have been taken. I can’t let folks run me into the ground with their opinions. Just take it and feed off of it.”

He nodded, displaying a cheesy smile.

“I’m just glad you learned your lesson. If only the rest could solve their problems, I’d have less more patients. While that would be good, it’d be bad for my line of business. No one will need help and I’m here to help. But you take it easy and OH, BEFORE I FORGET ... Get time, find yourself a new living space to live in comfortably and peacefully. These slum-infested areas, you don’t deserve that.”

I nodded my head knowing it was indeed true. However for what I want, it was going to take some more profit to purchase it. Nothing too fancy but spacious.

“Yeah, I’m going to work on that!” I said as I turned the handle of the door.

“Take Care, Mr. Hopkins!”

“You too!”

That was the end of that journey. Turn in my key and get my gear out of my room. I was now officially a former of the Hazelden Rehab Center. Free at last!


JUNE 24TH 2013 -- ORLANDO, FL | CEVICHE TAPAS BAR & RESTAURANT | 4:44 PM

“From Atlanta to Orlando, let it lead our brother Jair Hopkins to the Promise Land!”

“A toast to you Jair, for one, successfully qualifying in the Test For The Best tournament. Two, for taking responsibility and serving out your time. We’re all proud of you!”

“Thanks guys, this really means alot to me!”

Toasting and giving prayers to the food that sat in front of us, on the outside of the Ceviche Tapas, we sat comfortably in the chairs as we had BBQ chicken with a zesty, zinging flavor. Ripping with just handwork, it was a while since we had decent time to sit and enjoy the scenery.

“These wings are spicy as a mother-”

William took a swig out of his glass containing a Long Island Iced Tea. He then took a deep breath.

“They got a bite, but damn if they aren’t good! That sweet BBQ sauce, man!” William said, commenting on the chicken and the flavoring.

“It’s all in your mind, fellas. This place has some great food selections. I come here from time to time.” Anthony said as he went at it with no problem.

It was Bailey’s home state, Florida. Although from Tampa, he knew some good spots here in Orlando. Outside of this tournament, a small vacay in the mild weather was needed. Up North, it was a scorcher.

“Man that ‘Test For The Best’ is crazy. We’re pulling for you. You got all the talent in the world to show them.”

Nodding to Bailey’s comments and his confidence in me winning the whole ‘shabang’. It was far off from what

“I can’t even think straight, let alone win that thing. My second attempt. I’m looking to hit the jackpot, but you know, one ticket at a time.” I said as I ate the wing portion of the BBQ chicken.

“Yeah, they got it where you don’t even know who you’re facing till’ in the ring.” Williams said as he overridden the hotness and just took it smoothly.

“THAT is what is instilling fear into me. I might not even make it out of those quarterfinals. Then again, going up against someone from Overdrive. Now that would nice. Get to show them how the “Asylum Child” does it.”

“Haha, that is the spirit, man. Can’t go doubting yourself. Even with Aubrey, Logan and Kane in their, who knows, their could certainly be a rift.” Anthony said as he smiled.

“I’d enjoy the hell out of that!” William chuckled.

“Let this be like redemption for you. All the doubts, the negatives ... turn it into a positive. T4TB is no easy task man but I’ve seen the potential in you. Your ceiling is not even reached. Just kill it out there!”

“Yep, execute wisely and try not to fall for any mistakes.”

The advice was heart-warming as hell. Learning from someone who has held that Heavyweight title on more than one occasion and done so much more and from a guy who has been a champion himself, it was all productive information that was DEFINITELY needed come the 30th.

“Thanks fam’, that’s what I needed. Use the mind, leave it all out there on the canvas and fight with not just heart but with the soul. Mind, Body, and Soul!”

“Keys to success, my man. Like our theme states, the world is yours. Fight your fight and don’t give the other opponent a chance.” Bailey said in response.

Nodding my head, that was all that I needed. Rebuilding the confidence to defeat the odds. We all as participants stood on equal ground. Not knowing who the hell you’re facing, that was a challenge. Your mind drawing names like the container drawing lottery balls. It was tough but someway or another, ‘Jair Hopkins’ is going to pull through when no one expects it.

“Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.”
- Bernice Johnson Reagon

Nelly once asked in a song, what does it take to be number one? Because second place, there is no winner and third, no one remembers.

Hard work, determination, time, dedication and commitment, and not to forget, HEART. Plenty of heart. Without heart, you never make it past the first step you take. Those combined will lead you to that ultimate, somewhat hard to reach, “number one”. My boy Bailey has done it on a few occasions and I soaked him like a sponge for information. He’s gone through this, made it further than many expected.

Experience counts too but it’s not always what leads to holding that crown. There have been upsets by less-experienced folks who’ve came out on top. So here I stand amongst other qualifiers, getting ready to fight the “fight” of my life. Some people see me as the clear favorite to win, others see me as a wildcard. I’m cool with it, I just can’t let those two words control my fate.

All the qualifiers, including me at one point earlier this week went into a “frenzy” hearing the announcement that no matchups would be revealed until we step into the ring. Meaning training for one specific person or guessing who you’ll face was out of the question. Prepare for the worst, prepare for the best. Shake it up a bit, be on your ‘tippy toes’, feel me? To be honest, I don’t mind the challenge. Facing guys like Havok, Biggs, C.J Gates, AC Smith, that’s Overdrive’s talent. They are looked to as the superior roster, show. What would the APW fans think then when they see one of the almighty Overdrive talent falter and choke to some kid on Asylum. Things like that, that’s what gets me going. The millions of possibilities.

What if Aubrey, Logan or Kane alas ‘The New Sindicate’, taking either one of them down, mannnnn ... All the bullshit they talk only to see Jair Hopkins fly right over them and take one of them out of commission.

Or the likes of Robina Hood, Jace Savage, up and comers who are making names for themselves on Meltdown. Where the likes of ordinary people become extraordinary and then into superstars once drafted. I remember when I entered last year's tournament, I was still on Meltdown. The pressure that mounted on my shoulders to represent to brand well only to get booted the next round, but you know ... I learned, I remembered. I let nothing leave this brain that stands as a stained memory.

It’s been some busy weeks for me with the whole rehab shit, the traveling, next day battles then come back, rinse and repeat. It’s been hectic and with all of that, I somehow still managed to come out on top. Knowing I have to do no more. These past couple of days, gym and workout, train. Training to be fit like a champion so one day, this Sunday, June 30th, I can actually have the chance to feel like a king with the crown.

Even if I lose, I don’t leave empty handed. I leave a little richer in the mind. Going against some of the top up and comers and a few elites, alot is to be learned. It’s easy to say I have nothing to lose, but two years in a row, missing the second cut, it’s going to sting hard, but in the end I know I gave it my all, holding not a damn thing back. They will appreciate that, the fans will appreciate that.

People continue to talk about how I’m like a “shadow” to Bailey. Saying I need to step outside and smell the wet grass. I don’t need to smell grass. I’m not the guy who advertise for Scott’s lawn commercials. I’m perfectly fine and well where I am. Me, Bailey and Williams, we are like glue. You’ll never see us bicker, pick a fight or fuck over each other because of jealousy. We aim to help each other. It’s something many don’t do these days. For instance, they took an unlucky fall in the tournament. Me being the last one standing for TDB, they aren’t ignoring me. No, they’re in full “support” mode. That’s rare as shit these days.

But like they say, “Haters Gonna’ Hate!”

It’s going to be fun proving people wrong.

It’s going to feel even greater, defeating the odds stacked against me.

It’s bad enough the likes of Jason Kash and numerous others doubted I’d make it this far with all the shit I’ve gone through. Any other takers to join the “doubting” party? Biggs? Gates? How about the New Sindicate? Anyone?

I’ll show you, you’ll see!