Post by chaos lite on Aug 11, 2013 1:00:07 GMT -4
they want to fight me
aug.5.thirteen10:09am
”What do you mean? What did he say?”
My name is Aubrey J. Parker. And my so-called best friend, Cassandra McPherson, is in the process of giving me some of the worst news I think I’ve ever heard. Either that, or she’s in the process of lying to my face, and if that’s the case, you may be about to bear witness to Action Packed Wrestling’s pioneer snuff film.
We were standing in the confines of my kitchen in my New York-based loft. Cassandra was leaning, casually across the marble-top counter, gently manipulating a Dos Equis bottle between her fingers in one hand, carefully holding a handwritten note in the other.
”Well- you asked why Nemo wasn’t taking you off of the meds, so I called, and I called, and I called all week until his secretary finally picked up, and she passed along a note from him saying that you hadn’t improved, Aubs. He said that you were unstable, and- and you had these outbursts, and you needed to spend more time in his care... stuff I had no idea about...”
My mouth was dry. My legs were weak. I was trying to speak, and defend myself, and retort here but my body wasn’t allowing me to. My words were caught in my throat and there wasn’t a single fucking thing I could do. I was shocked. That son of a bitch Nemo had lied. He was trying to ruin me. There was no other explanation.
My doctor wasn’t ever going to let me leave. I wasn’t crazy. He was crazy. It was him, and nobody saw it.
”Isn’t there anything you wanna say? Like-”
”He’s a fucking liar.”
”...Aubs-”
”He’s obsessed with me. He wants you and Talon and APW to believe that I’m crazy so I can’t leave him. He’s making everything up!”
”Do you understand how that sounds?”
”Cass, that’s what’s happening! I’m doing better- I swear. I fucking swear.”
There were a few seconds where she just kind of stared at me, and I wish I knew what she was thinking, but all I know is that she had a wary, kind of distant expression on her face. She sighed and rubbed her eye, looking away from me.
”You say that, but you’re the same person that blindsided Shadow and beat him senseless with a chair last week at Raab-a-Mania. Not to mention, you sent two of the most vicious wrestlers in your company to hurt Logan. LOGAN of all people, Aubrey! And the icing on the cake? You have a mental fucking breakdown everytime you see Terry Marvin, and you have to face him for the Undisputed Title in two weeks!”
”Okay- no- look. I know I do some fucked up things in APW, and it looks bad, but it doesn’t mean I’m crazy. Alright? I’m good now! I just- everyone is trying to make me crazy.”
”Really... tell me what Shadow did to you recently to deserve what you did to him. What did SHADOW do to ‘make you crazy’?”
I didn’t have an answer immediately. I had a bunch of reasons in my head: I didn’t like the way he looked at me, I didn’t like the way he viewed me as a wrestler, and I didn’t like his fucking face. But I kew that none of those were appropriate answers and wouldn’t help my case.
”I just needed to do it.”
”Did Raab make you do it?”
”No.”
”Then why?”
”I don’t like Shadow.”
”...You don’t just do that to people you don’t like.”
”Shadow is a pretentious douchebag who deserved everything he got. I should’ve kept going, you know. I should’ve kept swinging that chair until I heard his skull crack, so we wouldn’t have to hear him spewing garbage every other week like we have to now. I hate him. I hate that I have to work with him. I hate that people like him exist and breathe all my fucking air.”
Alright. I wasn’t helping myself. I could suddenly feel that my cheeks were growing hot, and I took a deep breath, moving forward toward the same marble island counter-top that Cassandra was leaning across. She studied me with very focused eyes, and I kid you not, I could feel the judgment like daggers.
”I work with bad people, Cass.”
I was laughing. I don’t know why, but I was laughing, and before I knew it, I was making my way around the table toward her. My hands were on her shoulders, and Cassandra gave me a perplexed, concerned look, casually stepping back from me as I approached her-- but I didn’t pick up on it. I squeezed her shoulders and looked into her eyes. I didn’t realize that my eyes had grown to the size of saucers... I would’ve never approached her if I knew how I came off... I’d have stayed back if I knew I was shaking... If I’d known my breaths had become sharp and shallow...
”They’re driving me insane.”
”Calm down. You’re shaking.”
”I-”
I was fully prepared to ignore her warning, and I could tell from her body language that she was ready too. Her arm jerked toward the counter, and my eyes darted toward her phone. She was ready to make a call. To whom? I don’t know. I didn’t want to find out.
”Breathe.”
I let go of Cassandra’s shoulders and slid my hands back through my hair, taking a deep breath.
”I’m sorry.”
”It’s fine. Did you take the meds today?”
”I just need to go for a walk. I need some air.”
”Well- wait up. I’ll come with you.”
Cassandra made a move for her keys, but I held up a hand and shook my head, backing toward the door as I did.
”I just need ten minutes. Alright?”
I didn’t wait for an answer, and I don’t know if she would’ve given me one. She was still staring at me, at a loss of direction. I backed out of the loft and closed the door behind me, taking a deep breath as I pivoted away from the door and made my way to the staircase.
aug.5.thirteen10:09am
I stepped outside into the humid August air, and immediately, I knew it was a mistake.
I felt my heart pounding harder than normal. My tongue felt like sandpaper. I felt like I was about to fall over at any moment. It was a completely unfamiliar feeling... Sure, I was used to feeling like I was about to, like, die at any moment, but this was intense, even for me. Suddenly, my entire body felt hot. I hunched over, stepping out into the elongated, brick-paved alleyway at the bottom of the complex, feeling that maybe I needed to vomit. I lurched... but nothing happened.
I don’t know how I got there, but I was seated with my back to the wall of the adjacent complex, roughly six feet away from my own, looking up at the windows, gazing skyward until I could see the sky. I laughed a little bit, sliding my hands into the pockets of my shorts until I was able to find my phone. I pulled it out, thumbing my way across my home screen until I was in my Phonebook. I needed to call somebody. I needed somebody experience this with me. I needed someone to convince me that this was fine. I was normal. This was alright.
Logan? No.
I refused to trust Logan farther than I could throw him at this point. He betrayed me at Test for the Best. He stabbed me in the back, and he took every shred of dignity I had away from me. Fuck Logan.
I backed out of his contact and scrolled down... Talon? No. He had too much on his plate trying to juggle the Extreme Tournament and CRW. I didn’t want to pull him any further into my whirlwind of personal drama unless I absolutely had to.
The next name in the Phonebook was Terry.
I laughed a little bit and simply allowed the phone to fall from my hands and onto my lap. I moved my face into my hands and groaned, loudly- and I laughed again, because nobody was around to hear it. If they did, they’d look at me and label me as crazy. Fuck them. I was out here, and I was having my own end of the world breakdown, and there was nothing anybody could say to tell me that I was wrong for it.
I don’t know how long I sat out there. I think it was longer than ten minutes.
…
They pushed me too far.
you want to fight
unspecifiedunspecified
”I took down the giant all by myself last Sunday.
I didn’t have to do it. I didn’t gain anything from doing it... in fact, Shadow, by annihilating you backstage and leaving you a bloody mess for the whole world to see, I actually lowered myself. I allowed you and all of these people to believe that you’re worth my time and dedication... and please, don’t be fooled, baby, because that’s not the case.
Over these past few days I’ve been thinking about why I did what I did, and I convinced myself that I hated everything about you, from your scraggly hair, to your horse face, right down to your Hall of Fame ring- and I realized that it was never you that I hated, Shadow. It was the idea of you, mkay? You represent this bland, useless, misplaced mass of humanity that this business would be better without.
You talk about yourself as if you fucking MATTER. I believe earlier this week you went so far as to say that Alexander Duvall ‘bred me’ by having Krunk- the most irrelevant name in Action Packed Wrestling these days- ‘save’ me at One Night in Hell in 2012 on the night I won the North American Championship. You assume that YOU had it in you to stop me from becoming the powerhouse of a Megastar that I am today? BAHAHAHA, baby-boy, please!
Shadow, the only reason you continue to hark back to Meltdown is because you have to remind people that it’s the only place where you were considered a threat in the modern era of Action Packed Wrestling- and it makes a lot of sense now that I think about it. You referred to yourself as the ‘APW Sanitation Specialist’ back in the day? You weeded out the trash- right? Now... tell me; what exactly did that entail? Because if memory serves me correctly, you’re a Hall of Fame Wrestler and former Overdrive Champion by day, but you moonlight as a schoolyard bully. You took pride in ridding APW of some of its most incompetent, and directionless Megastars.
You were most comfortable on Meltdown because that’s where all the easy pickings were- and you didn’t even thrive there. You were never even considered to be the best on Meltdown, because you had to compete with people like Michael Lively, and Evan, and me. That’s why you kept going back! You went back to Meltdown, hoping that SOMEBODY would fucking notice you while you scraped at the bottom of the barrel, looking for ONE golden moment... that one moment that would solidify you as an immortal between those ropes for the rest of your career, and you never found it.
So I’m here to help.
I’m going to make sure the entire world remembers you for something, Shadow.
We’re going to show the whole world how much you can really bleed for me... Zachariah Blood, Sentinel, and myself would all love to get our hands on you and see how much damage a Hall of Fame wrestler can REALLY do in that ring on Sunday night, because you talk a big game, but something tells me that your bite isn’t anywhere near as impressive as your bark.
I’m not sure why Raab decided to make this a Gauntlet match, but we’ll take it.
I just wanted a chance to prove that I could dismantle a giant, haha! I mean, c’mon- I’ve been spending months telling the world that I am BIGGER than APW, so what better way to show that than beating a Hall of Famer within an inch of his life, just moments after I defeated the Tag Team Champions in a handicap match? Huh? Hahahaha.
Do you REMEMBER the first time we met, Shadow? Do you remember what you said to me on October 15th in Chicago? HUH? Because I sure fuckin’ do.
You told me ‘practice sweet cheeks; make yourself something then you’ll have everything.’ You said that to me, and back then, I was young and stupid and I thought you were somebody of note in the year 2012, so I held onto that... but I’m glad I did, because it pushed me farther than you’ll ever know, Shadow. I’ve made myself into something. I made myself into the 2013 Test for the Best winner, and at Shockwave, I’m going to make myself the APW Undisputed Champion. But that’s not enough.
I want everything. I want your Hall of Fame ring. I want your accolades. I want your happiness.
And all you want, Shadow... is petty, hollow revenge.
You could put your hands on me anytime. You could come after me after a hard-fought battle and you could kick my head off, but it wouldn’t accomplish anything, Shadow, because you’ll never be able to do it where it matters... you’ll never be able to do it in the ring. You’ll never be better than me, and you’ll never be anything more than a petty thug. And hell- you might not even get the chance to prove it at Raab-a-Mania because you have to make it through Zachariah Blood and Sentinel to get to me!
Sentinel has NEVER lost a one-on-one battle, Shadow! The Unforgiven are epitome of success, and you’re worried about revenge?
Worry about survival, Shadow. Worry about making it past August 11th.
Shadow... you’re running out of time.
Shadow.
Run.”
oct.15.twelve9:45pm
"But, there is something you ought to know rook, it’s not all about belts. You spend all your time gunning for the strap and you’ll miss the most important lesson there is in the business: Practice. You rise too fast you end up like Steve Stryker. Get your gold, get that big head, then someone who deserves it comes and ‘pops’ that bubble. What do you have left afterwards, nothing. Practice sweet cheeks, make yourself something then you’ll have everything."
fin.
