Post by Baphomet on Aug 20, 2013 22:47:10 GMT -4
To change ones views - To change ones self.
To chain ones views - To chain ones self.
Clues reside in questions.
An answer can be found.
You already know the Answer.
She had been there for me. As long as I could remember, right, wrong, or indifferent, she had always stood by my side. She couldn’t understand why I would do such a thing, only understanding that I had pretty much flipped my lid. “YOU’RE CRAZY!” She said, almost as if she had a vast understanding of the inner workings of the human mind. “You’ve absolutely lost it!” Maybe so, but that was beside the point. I had waited too long, come too far, and was too damn sick and tired to sit back and just watch it all implode. “Does that scare you?” As if I didn’t already know the answer to the question I was asking. “It’s my life, my decision! Nothing I do in that ring, nothing at all, affects you in any way! Why do you even care?”
As she walked towards me, I could sense her hesitance. Almost as if she really believed I wasn’t the same man she had known for all these years. Reaching out to touch my face, she pulled back before making contact. I knew it, and now, she’s proven it. “You’re just not making any sense right now. It’s not you! You were doing so well! Why the sudden backtracking? Why throw away all the work you’ve already done, just to go back to the misery you had dug yourself out of?” “Misery, are you kidding? Think about what I’ve been through, or have you even been paying attention? Signing with APW, answering this open challenge, ending the career of some imbecilic no-namer who claims to be better than he is… People might say that I’m facing a mirror image to make a statement, if you know what I mean.”
“I don’t know what you mean!” She said. “As a matter of fact, I don’t even know who you are anymore! We had done so much work to make ourselves happy again, so much sacrificing and compromisation! Who are you to throw all of that away?” “Who are you to question me?” I responded, seemingly outraged in my approach. “While you sit back enjoying this lifestyle, I’m the one out there putting my body on the line! I might as well do it on the grandest stage in the business! APW is my home, APW will put me over far more than any place else.”
“It doesn’t have to be this way! You were the one that decided to change your life, yet you decide to remain miserable? I just don’t get it!” And she was right. I had made the decision to change my life for the better. To have a more positive attitude, to take control in situations that I would have normally flipped shit on. But that way, it just wasn’t working out the way I wanted it to. So what do you do in situations such as these? You go back to a time, when you were at your best! “You don’t need to understand, nor do you need to get it. It’s my career! When my contract ran up, Jeff called me, asking if I had any plans for the future. I knew right then and there, that APW was where I belonged. APW, they have my back, they understand. You, you don’t have to understand. All you need to do is sit back, relax, enjoy the lifestyle, and let me worry about everything else!”
“How can I not worry? How can I go on without understanding?” As she stood there thinking of the right thing to say, I already knew what was next. She was leaving me, this time, for good. Fine, to hell with her! I had done nothing but worship the ground she walked on for years, and it was never good enough. I had given her everything, and she wasn’t content with just sitting back and enjoying it. The life of a wrestler’s significant other, wasn’t the life she wanted. I guess she should have thought about that, before deciding to commit to one in the first place. “I can’t take this anymore! You dig your own grave, like you’ve done a thousand times before. This time, I’m not going help pull you out! It’s all on you. Like you said, it’s your life, your career.”
As she grabbed her purse and ran for the door like a dog hearing the mailman, I had no intentions of stopping her. Maybe she was holding me back, maybe I was holding myself back in fear of her departure. Maybe this is what I needed. Maybe, just maybe, it will all turn out for the better. Slamming the door for emphasis, she knocked a few pictures off the wall. Pictures of my glory days, not too long ago. Me holding the World Title, a picture of Brandon Hendrix and I, as we had ran the Southern Extreme Alliance together. All of it, only bringing back memories of a better time. A time when I was, who I am right now. A time when I had full clarity, just like I do today.
I took this time to set up my camera equipment. With the creative juices flowing, I wanted to address my APW audience, to slowly ease them into the transition. A changing of the guard was about to take place, and they needed to know it. However, I’ve been instructed by APW management to keep my identity quiet for the time being, in hopes that it might add value and hype to an already lackluster attempt at making a name for one’s self, by Joseph Johnson. With no style, no substance, and very little ability, he’s got an awful large amount of ego, to just throw out a random open challenge. By me answering the call, I’m guessing that this is management’s way of taking him down a step or two, as they know I will get the job done.
But who am I? You already know the Answer!
I sat there doing my “homework”, watching a few old Joseph Johnson matches on YouTube. I call them matches, but it’s very hard to say that with a straight face. This guy is far too full of himself, almost as if he were my twin. But where we differ, is our ability in the ring. I’m a polished veteran, who just so happened to fall on a few hard times. He, on the other hand, is just full of himself. And by that, I mean he’s completely full of shit!
“You’re quite the egotistical one, aren’t you Joe? Talking a big game, stinking up the joint, the two don’t go hand in hand. However, you proceed in your attempts to walk them both along simultaneously in harmony, always failing in your moronic attempts to do so. Why, might you ask? Because you just don’t see the bigger picture. You’re either too full of yourself, or too damn stubborn to realize the truth. Joseph, these things never quite work out the way that you want them to. There’s always a bump in the road, a hiccup if you will, that brings you back down. But this time, the man who’s answered the call, very well could bring you down to depths you’ve never seen before. Depths you never knew existed, depths that could leave you far more damaged then you were before.
Be it damage of body, be it damage of mind, the damage will come at the hands of yours truly, a man hell bent on proving to the world that I’m the way, the truth, and the life. My agenda reaches far beyond some jobber trying to make a name for himself. However, you’ve got to start somewhere. It was never my intention to end the career of some no-name jobber at Shockwave, but I was given an opportunity that I would have been stupid to pass up. Just as stupid as you, thinking that you hold any value in the ranks of Action Packed Wrestling. Myself, on the other hand, I’ve proven my worth, and I’m going to do it yet again at your expense.”
The way I had the camera set up, was that of genius. You could see my silhouette, but you couldn’t make out my facial features. My every move documented, even my body language told a story. You just couldn’t tell who I was. And in due time, with editing skill, you wouldn’t be able to make out my voice, either.
“I had previously spoken of a bigger picture, Joe. I bigger picture that you seem to not understand, or are too into yourself to even care about. Joe, this is professional wrestling. Furthermore, this is sports entertainment. You leave nothing to desire, nothing to tune in and watch. You’re just there, and that’s it. Taking up valuable television time and roster space, that someone with actual talent could be using to get over with the fans. Yet you’re so into yourself that you don’t even realize that nobody cares about you! You sound a lot like myself, or so I’ve heard. But like I said, in that ring, I can actually back up everything that I say! No matter the verbiage, no matter the way I handle situations, people still know that when I’m in the ring, I can handle my business!
Who am I? You already know the Answer!
That’s why people still gravitate in my direction, that’s why they still tune in to see what in the hell I’m going to do on a weekly basis! Flip that small increment, and you find yourself staring right back at you, Joseph Johnson! Nobody cares, Joseph! APW called me into save this match, to save the pay per view that you’re trying to ruin! You demanded to be on this card, by throwing out an open challenge to anyone willing to accept. Hell, I’m fairly certain that Mr. Dangerous could accept this challenge, and squeak out a victory to further his career. But beating a footnote like you can only do so much for a career. In my opinion, this is just a match that will work off a bit of ring rust. A match to get me reacquainted with the fans. This, is a match to make a statement. I understand your attempts to make relevance out of your name, Joseph. I understand that no one is going to do anything for you BUT you. I applaud your attempt to resurrect a career that has been dead since it first started. But be careful what you wish for, because wishes much like luck, can go either way.
I once wished upon a star, to one day see myself on a television screen. I made that wish, and unbeknownst to me, I wished for far too much! No matter where I am, no matter what I do, I can never get a moments rest. I can’t go out to eat without being bombarded for autographs and pictures. I can’t shop without people following me!
Do people follow you, Joseph? No, I didn’t think so.
What you’re really wishing for, is for someone to come along, and put you out of your misery! You’ve been waiting for a man to come along and take your career right out from under you, because you’ve failed in your attempts to make something of yourself in this business! Have no fear, my little sheep! Your savior has arrived!
I understand the questions that must be running through your head right now. Questions of who, what, when, where, and why! All of these questions will be answered in due time, much like the questions of the Gods. Do they really exist, do I really exist? Am I just a figment of your imagination, or will I really show up to do damage to your psyche at Shockwave?
Who am I? You already know the Answer!
I promise not to disappoint, Joe. You and I, we have unfinished business. But at the same time, we’ve never had business at all. You’re everything I hate, everything that is wrong with the world today! People like you believe that people like me turn to you for answers. You think that just because you have the look, just because you think you have talent, that people are going to look up to you for some unbeknownst reason. People like Joseph Johnson come a dime a dozen! There’s nothing there to desire, nothing that can pull the strings of any harp! The only music you hear, is the sound of you tooting your very own horn. The sound of your voice echoing how great you think you are, how amazing you perceive yourself to be! Joseph, it’s all a figment of your very own imagination.
I however, am not a figment of your imagination. For I am very, very real. Real enough to bring you to the light, real enough to claim dominance over your career, leaving you with nothing but shame and guilt! I come to you a man of mystery, but will leave you lying in a pool of your own blood, as a man of humility. In the almighty words of the Sheik, I will leave you humble, unable to fathom bring the man you currently are! As a matter of fact, I will leave you unable to fathom at all! For I will leave you lifeless, with the inability to even put into words, exactly what you’ve just experienced. There will never be another experience like it, Joe. You say you want this open challenge, thinking that you’re going to make chicken salad out of chicken shit. But the fact of the matter is that APW had to call on someone that they knew could save this show, save this match, and save pay per view buy rates. Believe in the hype, Joe. Because your open challenge, it just got very, very interesting!
I’ve sat here and done my homework, not because I’m afraid of losing to you. The fact is, I know I won’t. I know that you’re just way too full of yourself to even care about the words I’m saying! You’ll come to Shockwave, you’ll get in that ring. And when I come back from behind that curtain, your jaw will drop. But even at that, you won’t care! Your ego cripples you, leaving you with the inability to process the idea of life without stardom. On the street, they would call you a douche. In my intellect, I call your ego a normality. A normality that provides you an inflated sense of self-importance! A normality that causes you to overload your mouth, without using your brain! A normality that causes you to expect the best, when the worst is actually on the horizon. Fear not your very own thought process, Joe! However, fear the thought process of the man that will be staring you down from the opposite side of the ring come Shockwave! For he is just a tad bit quicker in tongue, and far quicker with action!
I tell you these things, hoping that you’ll retire before Sunday. Save face, retire with your words, and everything in Johnson land will be fine and dandy. But bring your sorry ass to Shockwave, and you’re going to be biting off far more than you could ever chew! Come to Detroit, and you’ll leave just as bankrupt as the city itself! You’ll have nothing left, only blame! Blame will be the only thing left to your name, because you’re going to have no one to place blame on, but yourself! Try and place blame on others, and you’ll only fail, much like this open challenge is a failure on your part! If you don’t understand what I’m telling you Joe, I’m trying to tell you that all around, you are a failure. Not because it’s my opinion, and not because that’s what the dirt sheets are telling me to say. It’s just true, much like promise of a better tomorrow that I preach, it’s just true. And just like everyone else, you will learn to follow in my footsteps. You will learn to believe in my words, trust in my wisdom, and follow along like the sheep you are! A sheep that after Shockwave, if his career is truly on the line, will be out of a job! And these are words of wisdom, that you can undoubtedly hang your hat on!
This is no video game. This isn’t just a game that you can pick up a controller, die, and come back to life! This match doesn’t grant you the ability to shut off the system before it saves to your memory device, and give yourself a do over! Unlike Tiger Woods PGA Tour, there are no mulligans given inside that ring! Unlike Halo, there is no respawn! Unlike an APW video game, there is no “Match criteria failed: Try Again”! So if you’re really putting your career on the line, if you’re a man of your word, what are you going to do with yourself, when I’m done? What is the mighty Joseph Johnson going to do with himself, when I have ended everything he livED for? You’ve signed your name on the dotted line, as have I. But it’s not my career on the line, is it Joe? When you put out this open challenge, I really don’t think you were thinking at all! Your ego probably did the thinking for you, and it figured that you’re so good, nobody would want to answer! Truth is, you’re so bad, that everyone was lining up to face you. However, to make matters even more interesting, the president of Action Packed Wrestling found an outsider that he knew could get the job done.
But who am I? You already know the Answer!
Those depths I spoke of, are depths that you must sink to, to understand the true meaning of life. I AM THE LIFE, JOSEPH! I breath air into all things, I give life to the lifeless, I am water turned into wine! These are not words spoken in attempt to get you to read your bible. These claims of a better tomorrow will not be followed by prayer! The only prayers uttered, will be your prayers of referee stoppage! Joseph, I’m here to make a change, here to shed light on a dying world! At the hands of people like you, this world have plummeted to all-time lows. But simplistic in nature, is the way that I will regain my momentum! By beating you, by making a statement, by showing the world the way to this better tomorrow. It’s not too often that a man can pummel another man and at the same time preach to the masses. But I am willing to sacrifice you, Joe! I am willing to turn your open challenge into an example for the world, for all of them to see that my words of wisdom should be heard!
Flatter yourself, Joe! Think of yourself as a stepping stone, a turning point in not only professional wrestling, but in the world! I make no promises that I cannot keep, and I can promise you that you’re days are numbered. You have very little time left, and the only thing you can do is sit back and accept the happenings of the next couple of days. You have every right to be scared, but I want you to believe, Joe! BELIEVE! Because after this is all said and done, a belief in me is all you’re going to have to look forward to. The blame won’t be satisfying. The opinions of your peers won’t matter! The only thing you’ll be able to hang onto, are the words of the man who took you out of this profession! And that man, would be me!
I am the monster in your closet, the demon under your bed! I forced you to run to your parents’ room at night, stricken with fear and unable to fall asleep! I’m the creak in the floorboards, the sound of shutters on a windy night! I’m the shadow in your window, forcing a baby Joseph Johnson to attempt to sleep with one eye open. You remember that boy, don’t you? You remember the fear, the feeling of desperation, just praying for God to protect you while you lay your head down to rest! Well, little Joseph Johnson grew into a man. A pathetic excuse for a man, but a man nonetheless. It’s time for that man to meet me, time for him to know who caused those nightmares! And the sad truth for you is, those nightmares aren’t even over yet! But believe me, they’ll be over at Shockwave! When you’re finally face to face with the man who’s caused your life so much turmoil, when that man brings your career to a sudden end, the nightmares will be over. You will finally be able to live your life without looking over your shoulder for the boogeyman, you’ll finally be able to walk day to day without fear of the reaper, and you’ll finally be able to inhale oxygen without your heart skipping a beat.
It’s over, Joe. It’s over, and I dare you to proclaim that it’s not! What you did, what your ego has done, you will now pay for. Your sins have brought on a day of reckoning. Your sins have put you in one hell of a bind! I will take those sins, wash them away and give you new life! But as always, there is a price to pay. The price for you, is career suicide! As you cry out in pain, wishing that it was all over, I’m going to look down on your prone body, smiling at my handy work. At that point, you will understand. You will learn to follow the man who has caused you such grief! You will become a member, not a martyr.
Who am I? You already know the Answer!
I AM THE ANSWER! The clues are in the questions. The answer resides in your head, your heart, your spirit, and your career ending decision. I am the bad intention of every human being, the feeling of hate in every lost soul! Joseph Johnson, I am ultimately, your very own demise. And soon enough, you’ll find this out for yourself. You know who I am, and you know where I'm from. Hiding from the truth that resides in both your head and your heart, is only going to make things worse. Accept it, Joe. Accept the fact that I've come to APW to change the world. Accept the fact that your days are numbered, and you've been rendered stiff with fear. Accept my invitation with open arms. Because if you don't, you're only going to be forced to accept it later. Welcome home, Joseph. Welcome to the family.”
Dedicated to the fallen; Joseph Johnson
