Post by chaos lite on Aug 24, 2013 18:37:43 GMT -4
aug.22.thirteen11:07am
She hated me.
The look she was giving me was befitting of a murderer. Aubrey was sitting on my couch, with her arms crossed over her chest and a hollow gaze fixated on an area somewhere behind me. She didn’t even flick her eyes in my direction. She didn’t want to look at me-- and I knew it. She had been tricked into coming here. She’d been lied to by the people that she was supposed to trust, and depend on, and now she was at my house, waiting to hear me judge every impulsive decision she’d made since our last visit… ready to rip her apart for every mistake… but I didn’t have the gall to do that. Not today.
My name is Dr. Norman N. Nemo.
If I’d known how little time I truly had left, then I assure you, I would have done everything in my power to uncover every secret Aubrey J. Parker kept hidden.
aug.22.thirteen11:08am
”How have we been?”
Her eyes flicked up toward mine for the first time since Cassandra guided her into my home. I could still hear the soft vocals of Cassandra McPherson as she spoke to my wife from the kitchen a level above us. Every now and again, their voices would be drowned out by the sound of the running faucet. Lunch was being prepared… It’s a smell that I was still growing accustomed to. Since my accident, the little bit of work I’ve managed to keep has been conducted from my basement, but this was the first time I’d seen Aubrey since it happened.
Her lips parted, and I found myself leaning forward, eager to hear her voice.
”I didn’t know if you were gonna be okay.”
It was hardly the initial statement that I’d hoped for, but it brought a small smile to my face.
”I didn’t know you cared.”
This time, she’s the one that smiled… but it was hollow, and chilled.
”Cassandra brought me here because I said I wanted to kill Terry.”
Quick. Cold. To the point.
”That’s a reason.”
”I think it was an obvious reaction.”
”I think somebody in their correct state of mind might have been able to anticipate such a result.”
”I’m in my correct state of mind.”
Now, this was interesting. Before, Aubrey had always played along. She’d always taken my advice, and shared her stories with me for the sake of her own mental wellbeing. She had never claimed to be completely stable… I thought it may have been a part of some type of grand act, where she would confide in me, play the role of a lost, broken damsel to gain my trust, and gain my support, and force me to send her back into society where she would be able to thrive without the looming presence of a doctor hovering over her. There wouldn’t be anybody to tell her no. Not definitively.
”I think we need to start making more appointments. I think you’d benefit from coming down here every Thursday. My… my office will be closed until the winter, until I’m able to recover and… and travel…”
I found myself trailing off as she leaned back in the chair, adjusting her tank top ever so slightly. She pulled her legs up onto the couch, and I felt her eyes intercept mine as they traveled from her bare feet, up past soft, tanned, bare skin of her legs, stopping at the fabric that hugged her thighs. I felt my mouth grow dry-- and as my eyes moved up to meet hers, yet again, I felt no shame. I saw a coy glimmer in her eye that had been all-but absent during every meeting we’d had before. I saw warmth behind that half-smile.
”You said I wasn’t making any progress, Norm.”
The color may have drained from my face then and there, but I recovered almost immediately.
”I had to offer a summary of events in order to justify the request for the increase in your Lustral dosage. You’re subject to a lot of scrutiny because of the position you’re in, Aubrey… and as a result, I’m subject to a lot of scrutiny. When I give you these medications, it’s not for flash and flair; it’s because I’m doing everything I can to help you and I can’t afford to take risks with your mental health. I can’t take risks with your life. I had to assume that you were unwell until-- until I could be completely sure.”
I started to say more, but I stopped. Anything else might’ve hurt my case. I was silently pleased with my own explanation, and I saw Aubrey ponder it for a moment with that thoughtful smile still glued to her face.
”Aw. You do care about me.”
”I do.”
Shit.
”I care about the wellbeing of all of my patients.”
”I’m just another patient? Norm, please. I’m more than that, aren’t I? How many of your patients have been the APW Undisputed Champion.”
With a slight giggle, Aubrey shifted herself on the couch again. She may have scratched her abdomen or adjusted the waist of her shorts or something-- but whatever was done caused her to pull the bottom of that inviting white tank top upward a bit, roughly two inches above her belly-button.
”How many of them have the entire world at their fucking fingertips?”
I watched as her fingers glided across her own skin. I watched as that top drifted upward another centimeter… another inch… But the word fingertips, coupled with the laughter of Cassandra and Angela from the kitchen above us luckily inspired an intriguing train of thought. It reminded me of what Cassandra had told me on the phone. I looked away from the exposed flesh of my patient and looked down toward my own notepad.
”Why was your nose bleeding yesterday?”
”I get nosebleeds sometimes. It happens.”
”Have you done any drugs, Aubrey?”
”Well, yes, Norman, tons. Didn’t you go to a public school?”
”I mean now, Aubrey. Recently.”
She didn’t answer right away, but she laughed. She must have found the question overwhelmingly funny, because she brought both hands to her face, angling her head away from me.
”Just tell me the truth. This stays between us.”
She lowered her hands, still grinning, and nodded toward me.
”So you can put it in your notepad? So you can educate some poor sap about the dangers of mixing medications?”
”That’s precisely it. And maybe that ‘poor sap’ is you.”
”Hahahaha…”
She bit her lip and moved a stray lock of her out of her face, shaking her head at me.
”No. I haven’t done any drugs. I saw blood, and it triggered something, and it took me to a bad place… Terry hit me in the face, and he could’ve shattered my nose the last time I saw him, and-- I know I have no right to complain about something like that after what I did, but all the same, it took me there.”
”It made you think about killing him.”
”Yes.”
”Did you have a plan?”
”Yes.”
”What was it?”
”I was gonna shoot him.”
”You own a firearm?”
”I might.”
”Be honest… do you think that’s a good idea?”
”It’s my right as an American. I’m not a felon. I’m not crazy.”
”But you planned to murder your friend.”
She smiled, faintly.
”Who knows if I would’ve gone through with it? When push came to shove… could I pull the trigger on Terry?”
”Could you?”
She suddenly looked offended. She looked at me with horror behind those eyes and her mouth opened slightly, giving me a faint shake of the head.
”Of course I couldn’t! He’s my friend!”
”Can we take a look at how you’ve treated your loved ones lately?”
She looked at me for a while, and nothing about her face changed. I was growing increasingly uncomfortable by the second, but finally she sighed and shook her head.
”No. I haven’t been the model citizen. I just need some help. Haha… I do bad things.”
Again, her fingertips returned to the exposed skin along her abdomen, trailing upward, guiding that tank top upward again. Every movement was on purpose-- I had to believe that. Yet, I fell for it every time. My eyes dropped back toward her hands, and I caught a smirk every time I looked back up at her face. It was like I’d lost some type of aura. I felt like I was exposed. My own words-- they sounded so hollow, even aloud.
”I wanted to get a belly-button ring. Hmhmhm... but then I realized that it was stupid, because somebody could just use it against me in a match, know what I mean?”
Her fingers moved from her belly, to her side, where she pulled the shirt up again as she sat upright. There, was where I stumbled upon the holy grail, as any self-respecting middle-aged American man would tell you. The two-second exposure of the black bikini top that she wore freely beneath that tank top was enough to send a chill down my spine, and heat up my neck.
”But then I thought about getting a tattoo. Right here.”
She looked up toward me with a faint smile once again as she moved a hand along her side, from her ribs, to her hip, now raised to her knees on the couch. She turned toward me and angled her head in curiosity.
”What do you think?”
I was feeling sick. Her voice…
”Why do you always sit so far away from me?”
My palms were sweating.
”Norm…”
She knew.
”I…”
”You know-- there are some nights where I can’t sleep because I sit up and I think-- and I wonder if Terry is thinking about me. And it kills me to think that he isn’t. Those are the kind of feelings that I used to only have for my own boyfriend, but Talon’s never kept something from me… he’s never… kept anything from me… Talon’s never had anything that I wanted to take.”
”...and couldn’t.”
It provoked a huge smile out of her.
”Pardon?”
”...Talon’s never had anything that you wanted to take and couldn’t. The difference is, Terry doesn’t feel any obligation to give you anything. That’s why you feel such an attachment to him. That’s why Terry’s become such an important part of your life. You placed him on that pedestal. You want to take.”
”Is that so?”
”I think it’s human nature.”
”Human nature.”
She bit her lip slightly and leaned back on the couch.
”Sit next to me.”
”I don’t think that’s the best idea.”
”Why?”
The question, in and of itself, was a trap. There should have been no reason that I couldn’t pull myself upward, and sit next to her. There shouldn’t have been a reason that I was afraid-- but she knew. I could tell from that devilish look in her eyes that there wasn’t a single inappropriate thought that traveled through my mind that was lost on her. She hadn’t believed a word I said today.
Any influence I may have had over Ms. Aubrey J. Parker is dead and gone.
I don’t know what prompted me to get to my feet. I have no idea how I allowed myself to be the one that was goaded into making a movement, but before I realized what was happening, I was gingerly making my way across the carpeted basement floor, carefully maneuvering myself around the coffee table sitting between us. Aubrey rose to a single knee on the couch, and when I looked at her-- I think I had already made my mind up about what was about to happen. I don’t know how we got this close… and I don’t know when I decided that I was going to drop my facade, even with Cassandra and Angela upstairs. My hand slipped into Aubrey’s, and she drew nearer to me, and my heart pounded.
aug.22.thirteen11:07am
What have I done?
unspecified.unspecified
”My, my, you’re a wondrous thing.
Even outside the ring, it’s like you’re untouchable. It’s like… no matter how hard I try, there’s just nothing that I can do to get rid of Terry Marvin. And I like it a little bit more than I think I should. I like the struggle. I like knowing that there isn’t a soul in this business yet that’s been able to keep you down, because being able to cleanly defeat the mystical Terry Marvin in the center of a wrestling ring would be an honor greater than holding the Undisputed Championship to the average Megastar. And tomorrow night at Shockwave, I get the chance to do both!
But there’s no way you’re just gonna let that happen, is there? You see-- in YOUR mind, there’s nothing in this world that’s gonna stop you from grabbing the spotlight once again at Shockwave and ensuring that you complete a solid year as our Undisputed Champion, like it’s your fucking destiny or your birthright, and I’m not mad that you want to give me the fight of a lifetime… I’m mad that you think that your clock isn’t running out.
Terry, you’ve become more than just a professional wrestler, and more than the APW Undisputed Champ. You are a BRAND. In every organization you walk into, you walk out with a championship belt around your waist, and everybody that’s tried to rip it away from you has found themselves rolled up and tossed aside. I’m NOT gonna be one of those people. I won’t be CJ Gates. I won’t be Biggs. I won’t be Keaton Saint. I won’t be somebody else that stepped up to the monster known as Marvin and lost. I’m going to be DIFFERENT. I’m going to change the entire LANDSCAPE of the wrestling world when I take-- when I forcibly take from you that title. The title of the best.
Effective at the turn of midnight on August 26th, 2013, you will be known as the second best there ever was.
I know that it’s not the most popular thing in the world to say that AJP is going to be your next Undisputed Champion, but it’s a cold, hard fact of life. If there’s anybody in that locker room that KNOWS how to defeat Terry Marvin-- it’s me, and you KNOW that. You never perceived me as a threat, and you try to say that I manipulated you and I used the New Sindicate to make sure that happened, but I suggest you stop bullshitting yourself and everybody around you for a moment and admit the truth. You were in denial. ADMIT IT!
You never wanted me, or ANYBODY IN THE WORLD to believe that I was capable of defeating you. I watched after Mayhem, and I helped you when you and Level One decided to have your dick-measuring contest, and I shut my mouth, I knew my role, and I stayed in the background, and I watched as you took my spotlight every single night to put on a show with a man that never truly respected you in the first place. And you say I was only in it for myself. And then-- and then after I had to listen to fucking Darren Harvey tell the world that I didn’t earn my win at Test for the Best, I had to go in the locker-room, and I had to sit there, and I had to watch you and Lester wrestle in MY main event. My moment was TAKEN from me. Logan Alexander TOOK my opportunity to bask in the spotlight, and you didn’t do a single thing to stop it! But I still cheered for you. I still applauded you. I still came running out there when the show was going off the air to make sure you were in one piece, because I cared. Because you were my friend, and I loved you for being my friend, no matter how BAD of a friend you were. But you say I was only in it for myself. After I put my life on the fucking BACKBURNER for you to fly with you to Overdrive every single Thursday just so you could get in Lester’s face, you were nowhere to be found when I needed you. You weren’t even out there to celebrate with me after I won Test for the Best, and then you… you fucking stole my main event.
But you say I’m the one who was in it for myself.
But that’s okay. That’s fine. The great Terry Marvin can say whatever he wants, about whomever he wants, because TERRY MARVIN… is a brand.
But Aubrey J. Parker? That’s a supermassive entity.
Every week while you and Lester were having your disputes and your arguments, I was working my ass off to get BETTER and to become not only better than you, and better than Level One, but better and BIGGER than wrestling! I overcame Keaton Saint. I overcame Logan. Christian. Robina. Gates. I did all of that, and in the back of my mind I knew that it was the only way that I could get to you, but more importantly, I knew that I was the only one that deserved it!
I watched the fight you took to Lester. I thought, at some points, that anything that I could hope to come up with would’ve been futile, and you would’ve silenced me immediately-- but then I realized, that’s crazy because I truly am the greatest thing to ever happen to wrestling, and if anybody’s going to bring the second Summer of Marvin to an end, then it’s going to have to be me.
...ha. There’s no other alternative, is there? Isn’t this the classic tale that Hollywood has been trying to replicate for over a hundred years now, hm? Isn’t this supposed to be where I take everything I’ve learned from one of my last mentors and use it against him to steal away the thing he cherishes the most? Hm?
Isn’t that my role?
Ha!
Earlier today, I believe you compared me to the bankrupt city of Detroit. You told me that I would be neglected and without attention-- like Detroit-- I would falter, and I would begin to waste away to nothing. I took a lot of that as a subtle promise to retain your Undisputed Title at Shockwave, to which I scoff, but I caught something more interesting than that during your diatribe. In your own way, you said that because these people revile me so much, they’re going to just stop caring. That’s the way society gets back at Aubrey J. Parker, right? By completely ignoring me? The problem with that is, it’s damn-near impossible to even pretend to forget who Aubrey J. Parker is, and it’ll be even more difficult after Shockwave because my name will be synonymous with wrestling as it SHOULD be.
These people may chant we all hate you every night, but they love to do it, because they know I’m worth hating! They know that I can go out there and completely dismantle any of their heroes on any given night. CJ Gates… The Dying Breed… Shadow… Even you. And for that reason, these people can’t just ignore me. They pay good money every week, and they watch me climb, and they watch me put on shows of a lifetime with their favorite Megastars, and then leave them broken in the ring. They pay good money… to see how far I can fall. See-- I have no problem getting attention, Terry. And I want yours.
I want you to hate me when it pertains to that Undisputed Championship, and if it’s the last thing I do, old friend, you will hate me.
You will plot my downfall. My demise. You’ll do everything you can to derail me. I’ll make you.
You won’t fucking rob me of that!
I’ve waited a year for this moment. I signed my APW contract at Shockwave a year ago, and I watched Anthony Bailey and Sally Talfourd wrestling for the World Heavyweight Championship, and I remembered wishing that I could be in her position, because I would’ve done things so much differently. I-- I would’ve grabbed that title and hung on for dear life. I would’ve never just let it slip away the way she did. I would’ve never allowed those things to happen to me, and now I have the opportunity to live out a long, illustrious reign. I can do everything that I always wanted to do, Terry! And it’s no fucking thanks to you.
Can you imagine it, though?!
Imagine the roar of the audience when the announcement is finally made… That announcement that the masses have been secretly longing for for three hundred and sixty-two days.
Your winner… and… THE NEWWWWW ACTION PACKED WRESTLING UNDISPUTED CHAMPION…
Aubrey. J. Parker.
Oh my God. It… mmmm… it has such a ring to it. But this isn’t gonna be all bad for you, Terry. Think about how liberating it’ll be, pushing that weight off your shoulders, taking that bullseye off your back. Hm? You don’t wanna walk through these corridors, being forced to look over your shoulder around every corner, do you? No. You don’t want to have to second-guess every pair of eyes that’s on you, and every word you hear from the people in those locker-rooms, do you?
When you become the kind of person that YOU’VE become, it becomes really difficult to trust these people that we call our friends, Terry. There’s always gonna be somebody craving that limelight a little more than you. There’s gonna be someone more ruthless, and vicious, and maybe even more careless than you are, and they’re gonna hurt you. And they’re gonna hurt you bad, and it’s all because of that Undisputed Championship.
You don’t want it.
It’s been a year. Now you’re putting yourself at risk, and I just don’t want to see you have to go on like this in APW any longer. I mean-- why fight it anyway, know what I mean? I’ve seen your Tweets. I’ve studied your promotional videos. They may be cryptic to some, but the message is clear to me; you’re not gonna be in APW forever. Look at everything you have on your plate; Code Red Wrestling, Sin City Wrestling-- you’re getting married next weekend, you’re probably gonna wanna start a family soon… I mean, gosh, what kind of person would I even BE if I just kept the pressures of being the FACE of a wrestling EMPIRE on your shoulders?
Terry! Ha… I got you, boo. I’ll gladly fill the void while you settle down from the main event, and you ease yourself back into a nice, modest role in the center of the card, because a guy like you deserves that. After everything you’ve accomplished over these past two years, you DESERVE a nice little break from the spotlight. Trust me, I know it can be a little blinding.
And you’ll go out like a champion should.
It’ll be rough. It’ll be bloody. There are probably going to be some disappointed children in the crowd, and-- and Maggie, my baby girl… She’ll cry, and she’ll hug you, and she’ll guide her arms around your waist and she’ll just-- she’ll tell you how happy she is that you’re okay. A few scratches, some scrapes, and a bruised ego-- but you’re okay, Terry, because I let you be.
But then after she gets over the initial shock of seeing you without the Undisputed Championship, she’ll confess to you that she’s happy it’s gone. She’ll tell you how it made her stomach churn, just fucking looking at it, because she knew, sooner or later, somebody bigger and badder than Terry Marvin was gonna come along. And she knew that you didn’t know how to quit. She’ll tell you that. You’ll feel conflicted. You’ll hold her, and you’ll console her, and you’ll tell her to put all of her trust in you…
And then you’ll make a decision.
You’ll either fade into the darkness like I know you want to, and the world will remember Terry Marvin as the second-greatest Undisputed Champion they’ve ever seen.
Or… you’ll feel empty without it, and you’ll realize that the title brought a feeling of security that even your future wife was never able to recreate. You’ll come after me, and I’ll still be hungrier than you, but things will be different.
You’ll hate me.
And once again, you won’t know when to stop. You won’t know when to quit... and I’ll have to make that decision for you. And then you’ll be hurt. Really hurt. And Maggie will hate me, and then you’ll never forgive me, and then you’ll turn your back on me.
…
I think it’s time that we made our decisions.”
aug.22.thirteen1:01pm
”Thanks for having us over here today. Haha, I like that you were able to convince your wife that nothing was wrong… I think that was good, yeah? It’s probably better than we don’t put a whole lot of pressure on Aubrey right now. I-- I just think she was really stressed out and overwhelmed, and she didn’t know what she was saying when it came to Terry. I think you do a really good job of calming her down.”
We were standing outside of my house, and my eyes were fixated on the door. Behind it, Aubrey and Angela were speaking. They were chatting, and laughing as if they’d known each other for years. Cassandra caught my gaze, shooting them a quick glance before turning back to me and offering a broad smile.
”They’re getting along famously, huh?”
She didn’t want for much of an answer, not that one was necessarily required.
”What happened down there, anyway?”
”We just talked.”
I answered too quickly, and I felt that hot, prickling feeling crawl up my neck, toward my ears. Cassandra didn’t seem to pick up on it, giving me a satisfied nod instead.
”About Terry?”
”Huh? Oh… yeah. Yeah, a lot about Terry. And a lot about the Undisputed Title. Just-- a lot. A lot of talking.”
”You’re amazing, Dr. Nemo. And I’m so glad that you’re up and moving again after your accident. I was just… It was scary.”
Aubrey looked up at me from behind the door, while still talking to Angela. Those eyes-- they pierced mine again, and a broad smile inched across those lips. I felt a lump developing in my throat and as quickly as I could, I turned back to Cassandra, giving my best attempt at a warm smile.
”I appreciate that. And your letters and phone calls helped a lot. I just-- all I can ask is that you--”
I sighed, motioning for Cassandra to follow me closer to her own car, farther away from the front door of the house. I didn’t want there to be a chance that a part of this conversation could be overheard… Cassandra gave me a concerned look, folding her arms as she looked at me, waiting for my response-- and it took a moment for the words to escape my lips.
”She’s still a little, um… she’s still unwell.”
”I figured. It was just a day ago that she was having a complete mental breakdown. These things aren’t fixed overn--”
”No, it’s-- it’s worse than that.”
”What?”
”I mean-- it’s-- just don’t believe everything she says. She’s been spouting a lot of nonsense. At least… at least she was, in front of me. I mean-- I just don’t think you should uh… believe every single thing that comes out of her mouth. She has a vivid imagination. I think she’s fabricating events in her mind.”
I don’t know if Cassandra’s look was an unconvinced one, or one that displayed worry, but for a few seconds, she didn’t look away. My heart was pounding, and I was almost certain that she could hear it through my shirt. It was never acknowledged, though. She looked up toward me, and she gave me an understanding nod.
”You don’t think she’d really try to kill Terry, do you?”
I did. I truly believe that if she had the means to do it, she would… but I was silently relieved that the conversation had maneuvered itself back onto the subject of another man.
”Of course not. She’s not a murderer.”
Cassandra smiled at the response, and a second later, the door burst open. I turned, uneasily to the porch as Aubrey embraced my wife in a long, tight squeeze. They broke away, and spoke in whispers, before they both giggled. Aubrey turned and made her way down from the porch. With every step, her eyes met mine. I don’t remember the look I was giving her, but it caused her to snicker and shake her head.
”Don’t look so happy to see us leave!”
I reached toward Cassandra’s car and pulled open the passenger seat, giving Aubrey a polite nod.
”Drive safe, girls.”
She moved past me, gliding a hand softly, and delicately across my arm as she climbed into the car. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see somebody leave.
But if I’d known that it would be one of the final times I’d ever see Aubrey J. Parker, I’d have used every second to find out as much as I could.
She might cost me my job.
She might cost me my wife.
She’s taken everything from me. And what have I gained? Absolutely nothing but fear of a twenty-six year old woman with a God complex.
Aubrey J. Parker is not crazy. Aubrey J. Parker is evil. I’m afraid for this man she calls Terry.
fin.
She hated me.
The look she was giving me was befitting of a murderer. Aubrey was sitting on my couch, with her arms crossed over her chest and a hollow gaze fixated on an area somewhere behind me. She didn’t even flick her eyes in my direction. She didn’t want to look at me-- and I knew it. She had been tricked into coming here. She’d been lied to by the people that she was supposed to trust, and depend on, and now she was at my house, waiting to hear me judge every impulsive decision she’d made since our last visit… ready to rip her apart for every mistake… but I didn’t have the gall to do that. Not today.
My name is Dr. Norman N. Nemo.
If I’d known how little time I truly had left, then I assure you, I would have done everything in my power to uncover every secret Aubrey J. Parker kept hidden.
and the mercy seat is waiting
and i think my head is burning
and i think my head is burning
aug.22.thirteen11:08am
”How have we been?”
Her eyes flicked up toward mine for the first time since Cassandra guided her into my home. I could still hear the soft vocals of Cassandra McPherson as she spoke to my wife from the kitchen a level above us. Every now and again, their voices would be drowned out by the sound of the running faucet. Lunch was being prepared… It’s a smell that I was still growing accustomed to. Since my accident, the little bit of work I’ve managed to keep has been conducted from my basement, but this was the first time I’d seen Aubrey since it happened.
Her lips parted, and I found myself leaning forward, eager to hear her voice.
”I didn’t know if you were gonna be okay.”
It was hardly the initial statement that I’d hoped for, but it brought a small smile to my face.
”I didn’t know you cared.”
This time, she’s the one that smiled… but it was hollow, and chilled.
”Cassandra brought me here because I said I wanted to kill Terry.”
Quick. Cold. To the point.
”That’s a reason.”
”I think it was an obvious reaction.”
”I think somebody in their correct state of mind might have been able to anticipate such a result.”
”I’m in my correct state of mind.”
Now, this was interesting. Before, Aubrey had always played along. She’d always taken my advice, and shared her stories with me for the sake of her own mental wellbeing. She had never claimed to be completely stable… I thought it may have been a part of some type of grand act, where she would confide in me, play the role of a lost, broken damsel to gain my trust, and gain my support, and force me to send her back into society where she would be able to thrive without the looming presence of a doctor hovering over her. There wouldn’t be anybody to tell her no. Not definitively.
”I think we need to start making more appointments. I think you’d benefit from coming down here every Thursday. My… my office will be closed until the winter, until I’m able to recover and… and travel…”
I found myself trailing off as she leaned back in the chair, adjusting her tank top ever so slightly. She pulled her legs up onto the couch, and I felt her eyes intercept mine as they traveled from her bare feet, up past soft, tanned, bare skin of her legs, stopping at the fabric that hugged her thighs. I felt my mouth grow dry-- and as my eyes moved up to meet hers, yet again, I felt no shame. I saw a coy glimmer in her eye that had been all-but absent during every meeting we’d had before. I saw warmth behind that half-smile.
”You said I wasn’t making any progress, Norm.”
The color may have drained from my face then and there, but I recovered almost immediately.
”I had to offer a summary of events in order to justify the request for the increase in your Lustral dosage. You’re subject to a lot of scrutiny because of the position you’re in, Aubrey… and as a result, I’m subject to a lot of scrutiny. When I give you these medications, it’s not for flash and flair; it’s because I’m doing everything I can to help you and I can’t afford to take risks with your mental health. I can’t take risks with your life. I had to assume that you were unwell until-- until I could be completely sure.”
I started to say more, but I stopped. Anything else might’ve hurt my case. I was silently pleased with my own explanation, and I saw Aubrey ponder it for a moment with that thoughtful smile still glued to her face.
”Aw. You do care about me.”
”I do.”
Shit.
”I care about the wellbeing of all of my patients.”
”I’m just another patient? Norm, please. I’m more than that, aren’t I? How many of your patients have been the APW Undisputed Champion.”
With a slight giggle, Aubrey shifted herself on the couch again. She may have scratched her abdomen or adjusted the waist of her shorts or something-- but whatever was done caused her to pull the bottom of that inviting white tank top upward a bit, roughly two inches above her belly-button.
”How many of them have the entire world at their fucking fingertips?”
I watched as her fingers glided across her own skin. I watched as that top drifted upward another centimeter… another inch… But the word fingertips, coupled with the laughter of Cassandra and Angela from the kitchen above us luckily inspired an intriguing train of thought. It reminded me of what Cassandra had told me on the phone. I looked away from the exposed flesh of my patient and looked down toward my own notepad.
”Why was your nose bleeding yesterday?”
”I get nosebleeds sometimes. It happens.”
”Have you done any drugs, Aubrey?”
”Well, yes, Norman, tons. Didn’t you go to a public school?”
”I mean now, Aubrey. Recently.”
She didn’t answer right away, but she laughed. She must have found the question overwhelmingly funny, because she brought both hands to her face, angling her head away from me.
”Just tell me the truth. This stays between us.”
She lowered her hands, still grinning, and nodded toward me.
”So you can put it in your notepad? So you can educate some poor sap about the dangers of mixing medications?”
”That’s precisely it. And maybe that ‘poor sap’ is you.”
”Hahahaha…”
She bit her lip and moved a stray lock of her out of her face, shaking her head at me.
”No. I haven’t done any drugs. I saw blood, and it triggered something, and it took me to a bad place… Terry hit me in the face, and he could’ve shattered my nose the last time I saw him, and-- I know I have no right to complain about something like that after what I did, but all the same, it took me there.”
”It made you think about killing him.”
”Yes.”
”Did you have a plan?”
”Yes.”
”What was it?”
”I was gonna shoot him.”
”You own a firearm?”
”I might.”
”Be honest… do you think that’s a good idea?”
”It’s my right as an American. I’m not a felon. I’m not crazy.”
”But you planned to murder your friend.”
She smiled, faintly.
”Who knows if I would’ve gone through with it? When push came to shove… could I pull the trigger on Terry?”
”Could you?”
She suddenly looked offended. She looked at me with horror behind those eyes and her mouth opened slightly, giving me a faint shake of the head.
”Of course I couldn’t! He’s my friend!”
”Can we take a look at how you’ve treated your loved ones lately?”
She looked at me for a while, and nothing about her face changed. I was growing increasingly uncomfortable by the second, but finally she sighed and shook her head.
”No. I haven’t been the model citizen. I just need some help. Haha… I do bad things.”
Again, her fingertips returned to the exposed skin along her abdomen, trailing upward, guiding that tank top upward again. Every movement was on purpose-- I had to believe that. Yet, I fell for it every time. My eyes dropped back toward her hands, and I caught a smirk every time I looked back up at her face. It was like I’d lost some type of aura. I felt like I was exposed. My own words-- they sounded so hollow, even aloud.
”I wanted to get a belly-button ring. Hmhmhm... but then I realized that it was stupid, because somebody could just use it against me in a match, know what I mean?”
Her fingers moved from her belly, to her side, where she pulled the shirt up again as she sat upright. There, was where I stumbled upon the holy grail, as any self-respecting middle-aged American man would tell you. The two-second exposure of the black bikini top that she wore freely beneath that tank top was enough to send a chill down my spine, and heat up my neck.
”But then I thought about getting a tattoo. Right here.”
She looked up toward me with a faint smile once again as she moved a hand along her side, from her ribs, to her hip, now raised to her knees on the couch. She turned toward me and angled her head in curiosity.
”What do you think?”
I was feeling sick. Her voice…
”Why do you always sit so far away from me?”
My palms were sweating.
”Norm…”
She knew.
”I…”
”You know-- there are some nights where I can’t sleep because I sit up and I think-- and I wonder if Terry is thinking about me. And it kills me to think that he isn’t. Those are the kind of feelings that I used to only have for my own boyfriend, but Talon’s never kept something from me… he’s never… kept anything from me… Talon’s never had anything that I wanted to take.”
”...and couldn’t.”
It provoked a huge smile out of her.
”Pardon?”
”...Talon’s never had anything that you wanted to take and couldn’t. The difference is, Terry doesn’t feel any obligation to give you anything. That’s why you feel such an attachment to him. That’s why Terry’s become such an important part of your life. You placed him on that pedestal. You want to take.”
”Is that so?”
”I think it’s human nature.”
”Human nature.”
She bit her lip slightly and leaned back on the couch.
”Sit next to me.”
”I don’t think that’s the best idea.”
”Why?”
The question, in and of itself, was a trap. There should have been no reason that I couldn’t pull myself upward, and sit next to her. There shouldn’t have been a reason that I was afraid-- but she knew. I could tell from that devilish look in her eyes that there wasn’t a single inappropriate thought that traveled through my mind that was lost on her. She hadn’t believed a word I said today.
Any influence I may have had over Ms. Aubrey J. Parker is dead and gone.
I don’t know what prompted me to get to my feet. I have no idea how I allowed myself to be the one that was goaded into making a movement, but before I realized what was happening, I was gingerly making my way across the carpeted basement floor, carefully maneuvering myself around the coffee table sitting between us. Aubrey rose to a single knee on the couch, and when I looked at her-- I think I had already made my mind up about what was about to happen. I don’t know how we got this close… and I don’t know when I decided that I was going to drop my facade, even with Cassandra and Angela upstairs. My hand slipped into Aubrey’s, and she drew nearer to me, and my heart pounded.
aug.22.thirteen11:07am
What have I done?
and anyway, i told the truth
and i’m not afraid to die
and i’m not afraid to die
unspecified.unspecified
”My, my, you’re a wondrous thing.
Even outside the ring, it’s like you’re untouchable. It’s like… no matter how hard I try, there’s just nothing that I can do to get rid of Terry Marvin. And I like it a little bit more than I think I should. I like the struggle. I like knowing that there isn’t a soul in this business yet that’s been able to keep you down, because being able to cleanly defeat the mystical Terry Marvin in the center of a wrestling ring would be an honor greater than holding the Undisputed Championship to the average Megastar. And tomorrow night at Shockwave, I get the chance to do both!
But there’s no way you’re just gonna let that happen, is there? You see-- in YOUR mind, there’s nothing in this world that’s gonna stop you from grabbing the spotlight once again at Shockwave and ensuring that you complete a solid year as our Undisputed Champion, like it’s your fucking destiny or your birthright, and I’m not mad that you want to give me the fight of a lifetime… I’m mad that you think that your clock isn’t running out.
Terry, you’ve become more than just a professional wrestler, and more than the APW Undisputed Champ. You are a BRAND. In every organization you walk into, you walk out with a championship belt around your waist, and everybody that’s tried to rip it away from you has found themselves rolled up and tossed aside. I’m NOT gonna be one of those people. I won’t be CJ Gates. I won’t be Biggs. I won’t be Keaton Saint. I won’t be somebody else that stepped up to the monster known as Marvin and lost. I’m going to be DIFFERENT. I’m going to change the entire LANDSCAPE of the wrestling world when I take-- when I forcibly take from you that title. The title of the best.
Effective at the turn of midnight on August 26th, 2013, you will be known as the second best there ever was.
I know that it’s not the most popular thing in the world to say that AJP is going to be your next Undisputed Champion, but it’s a cold, hard fact of life. If there’s anybody in that locker room that KNOWS how to defeat Terry Marvin-- it’s me, and you KNOW that. You never perceived me as a threat, and you try to say that I manipulated you and I used the New Sindicate to make sure that happened, but I suggest you stop bullshitting yourself and everybody around you for a moment and admit the truth. You were in denial. ADMIT IT!
You never wanted me, or ANYBODY IN THE WORLD to believe that I was capable of defeating you. I watched after Mayhem, and I helped you when you and Level One decided to have your dick-measuring contest, and I shut my mouth, I knew my role, and I stayed in the background, and I watched as you took my spotlight every single night to put on a show with a man that never truly respected you in the first place. And you say I was only in it for myself. And then-- and then after I had to listen to fucking Darren Harvey tell the world that I didn’t earn my win at Test for the Best, I had to go in the locker-room, and I had to sit there, and I had to watch you and Lester wrestle in MY main event. My moment was TAKEN from me. Logan Alexander TOOK my opportunity to bask in the spotlight, and you didn’t do a single thing to stop it! But I still cheered for you. I still applauded you. I still came running out there when the show was going off the air to make sure you were in one piece, because I cared. Because you were my friend, and I loved you for being my friend, no matter how BAD of a friend you were. But you say I was only in it for myself. After I put my life on the fucking BACKBURNER for you to fly with you to Overdrive every single Thursday just so you could get in Lester’s face, you were nowhere to be found when I needed you. You weren’t even out there to celebrate with me after I won Test for the Best, and then you… you fucking stole my main event.
But you say I’m the one who was in it for myself.
But that’s okay. That’s fine. The great Terry Marvin can say whatever he wants, about whomever he wants, because TERRY MARVIN… is a brand.
But Aubrey J. Parker? That’s a supermassive entity.
Every week while you and Lester were having your disputes and your arguments, I was working my ass off to get BETTER and to become not only better than you, and better than Level One, but better and BIGGER than wrestling! I overcame Keaton Saint. I overcame Logan. Christian. Robina. Gates. I did all of that, and in the back of my mind I knew that it was the only way that I could get to you, but more importantly, I knew that I was the only one that deserved it!
I watched the fight you took to Lester. I thought, at some points, that anything that I could hope to come up with would’ve been futile, and you would’ve silenced me immediately-- but then I realized, that’s crazy because I truly am the greatest thing to ever happen to wrestling, and if anybody’s going to bring the second Summer of Marvin to an end, then it’s going to have to be me.
...ha. There’s no other alternative, is there? Isn’t this the classic tale that Hollywood has been trying to replicate for over a hundred years now, hm? Isn’t this supposed to be where I take everything I’ve learned from one of my last mentors and use it against him to steal away the thing he cherishes the most? Hm?
Isn’t that my role?
Ha!
Earlier today, I believe you compared me to the bankrupt city of Detroit. You told me that I would be neglected and without attention-- like Detroit-- I would falter, and I would begin to waste away to nothing. I took a lot of that as a subtle promise to retain your Undisputed Title at Shockwave, to which I scoff, but I caught something more interesting than that during your diatribe. In your own way, you said that because these people revile me so much, they’re going to just stop caring. That’s the way society gets back at Aubrey J. Parker, right? By completely ignoring me? The problem with that is, it’s damn-near impossible to even pretend to forget who Aubrey J. Parker is, and it’ll be even more difficult after Shockwave because my name will be synonymous with wrestling as it SHOULD be.
These people may chant we all hate you every night, but they love to do it, because they know I’m worth hating! They know that I can go out there and completely dismantle any of their heroes on any given night. CJ Gates… The Dying Breed… Shadow… Even you. And for that reason, these people can’t just ignore me. They pay good money every week, and they watch me climb, and they watch me put on shows of a lifetime with their favorite Megastars, and then leave them broken in the ring. They pay good money… to see how far I can fall. See-- I have no problem getting attention, Terry. And I want yours.
I want you to hate me when it pertains to that Undisputed Championship, and if it’s the last thing I do, old friend, you will hate me.
You will plot my downfall. My demise. You’ll do everything you can to derail me. I’ll make you.
You won’t fucking rob me of that!
I’ve waited a year for this moment. I signed my APW contract at Shockwave a year ago, and I watched Anthony Bailey and Sally Talfourd wrestling for the World Heavyweight Championship, and I remembered wishing that I could be in her position, because I would’ve done things so much differently. I-- I would’ve grabbed that title and hung on for dear life. I would’ve never just let it slip away the way she did. I would’ve never allowed those things to happen to me, and now I have the opportunity to live out a long, illustrious reign. I can do everything that I always wanted to do, Terry! And it’s no fucking thanks to you.
Can you imagine it, though?!
Imagine the roar of the audience when the announcement is finally made… That announcement that the masses have been secretly longing for for three hundred and sixty-two days.
Your winner… and… THE NEWWWWW ACTION PACKED WRESTLING UNDISPUTED CHAMPION…
Aubrey. J. Parker.
Oh my God. It… mmmm… it has such a ring to it. But this isn’t gonna be all bad for you, Terry. Think about how liberating it’ll be, pushing that weight off your shoulders, taking that bullseye off your back. Hm? You don’t wanna walk through these corridors, being forced to look over your shoulder around every corner, do you? No. You don’t want to have to second-guess every pair of eyes that’s on you, and every word you hear from the people in those locker-rooms, do you?
When you become the kind of person that YOU’VE become, it becomes really difficult to trust these people that we call our friends, Terry. There’s always gonna be somebody craving that limelight a little more than you. There’s gonna be someone more ruthless, and vicious, and maybe even more careless than you are, and they’re gonna hurt you. And they’re gonna hurt you bad, and it’s all because of that Undisputed Championship.
You don’t want it.
It’s been a year. Now you’re putting yourself at risk, and I just don’t want to see you have to go on like this in APW any longer. I mean-- why fight it anyway, know what I mean? I’ve seen your Tweets. I’ve studied your promotional videos. They may be cryptic to some, but the message is clear to me; you’re not gonna be in APW forever. Look at everything you have on your plate; Code Red Wrestling, Sin City Wrestling-- you’re getting married next weekend, you’re probably gonna wanna start a family soon… I mean, gosh, what kind of person would I even BE if I just kept the pressures of being the FACE of a wrestling EMPIRE on your shoulders?
Terry! Ha… I got you, boo. I’ll gladly fill the void while you settle down from the main event, and you ease yourself back into a nice, modest role in the center of the card, because a guy like you deserves that. After everything you’ve accomplished over these past two years, you DESERVE a nice little break from the spotlight. Trust me, I know it can be a little blinding.
And you’ll go out like a champion should.
It’ll be rough. It’ll be bloody. There are probably going to be some disappointed children in the crowd, and-- and Maggie, my baby girl… She’ll cry, and she’ll hug you, and she’ll guide her arms around your waist and she’ll just-- she’ll tell you how happy she is that you’re okay. A few scratches, some scrapes, and a bruised ego-- but you’re okay, Terry, because I let you be.
But then after she gets over the initial shock of seeing you without the Undisputed Championship, she’ll confess to you that she’s happy it’s gone. She’ll tell you how it made her stomach churn, just fucking looking at it, because she knew, sooner or later, somebody bigger and badder than Terry Marvin was gonna come along. And she knew that you didn’t know how to quit. She’ll tell you that. You’ll feel conflicted. You’ll hold her, and you’ll console her, and you’ll tell her to put all of her trust in you…
And then you’ll make a decision.
You’ll either fade into the darkness like I know you want to, and the world will remember Terry Marvin as the second-greatest Undisputed Champion they’ve ever seen.
Or… you’ll feel empty without it, and you’ll realize that the title brought a feeling of security that even your future wife was never able to recreate. You’ll come after me, and I’ll still be hungrier than you, but things will be different.
You’ll hate me.
And once again, you won’t know when to stop. You won’t know when to quit... and I’ll have to make that decision for you. And then you’ll be hurt. Really hurt. And Maggie will hate me, and then you’ll never forgive me, and then you’ll turn your back on me.
…
I think it’s time that we made our decisions.”
into the mercy seat i climb
aug.22.thirteen1:01pm
”Thanks for having us over here today. Haha, I like that you were able to convince your wife that nothing was wrong… I think that was good, yeah? It’s probably better than we don’t put a whole lot of pressure on Aubrey right now. I-- I just think she was really stressed out and overwhelmed, and she didn’t know what she was saying when it came to Terry. I think you do a really good job of calming her down.”
We were standing outside of my house, and my eyes were fixated on the door. Behind it, Aubrey and Angela were speaking. They were chatting, and laughing as if they’d known each other for years. Cassandra caught my gaze, shooting them a quick glance before turning back to me and offering a broad smile.
”They’re getting along famously, huh?”
She didn’t want for much of an answer, not that one was necessarily required.
”What happened down there, anyway?”
”We just talked.”
I answered too quickly, and I felt that hot, prickling feeling crawl up my neck, toward my ears. Cassandra didn’t seem to pick up on it, giving me a satisfied nod instead.
”About Terry?”
”Huh? Oh… yeah. Yeah, a lot about Terry. And a lot about the Undisputed Title. Just-- a lot. A lot of talking.”
”You’re amazing, Dr. Nemo. And I’m so glad that you’re up and moving again after your accident. I was just… It was scary.”
Aubrey looked up at me from behind the door, while still talking to Angela. Those eyes-- they pierced mine again, and a broad smile inched across those lips. I felt a lump developing in my throat and as quickly as I could, I turned back to Cassandra, giving my best attempt at a warm smile.
”I appreciate that. And your letters and phone calls helped a lot. I just-- all I can ask is that you--”
I sighed, motioning for Cassandra to follow me closer to her own car, farther away from the front door of the house. I didn’t want there to be a chance that a part of this conversation could be overheard… Cassandra gave me a concerned look, folding her arms as she looked at me, waiting for my response-- and it took a moment for the words to escape my lips.
”She’s still a little, um… she’s still unwell.”
”I figured. It was just a day ago that she was having a complete mental breakdown. These things aren’t fixed overn--”
”No, it’s-- it’s worse than that.”
”What?”
”I mean-- it’s-- just don’t believe everything she says. She’s been spouting a lot of nonsense. At least… at least she was, in front of me. I mean-- I just don’t think you should uh… believe every single thing that comes out of her mouth. She has a vivid imagination. I think she’s fabricating events in her mind.”
I don’t know if Cassandra’s look was an unconvinced one, or one that displayed worry, but for a few seconds, she didn’t look away. My heart was pounding, and I was almost certain that she could hear it through my shirt. It was never acknowledged, though. She looked up toward me, and she gave me an understanding nod.
”You don’t think she’d really try to kill Terry, do you?”
I did. I truly believe that if she had the means to do it, she would… but I was silently relieved that the conversation had maneuvered itself back onto the subject of another man.
”Of course not. She’s not a murderer.”
Cassandra smiled at the response, and a second later, the door burst open. I turned, uneasily to the porch as Aubrey embraced my wife in a long, tight squeeze. They broke away, and spoke in whispers, before they both giggled. Aubrey turned and made her way down from the porch. With every step, her eyes met mine. I don’t remember the look I was giving her, but it caused her to snicker and shake her head.
”Don’t look so happy to see us leave!”
I reached toward Cassandra’s car and pulled open the passenger seat, giving Aubrey a polite nod.
”Drive safe, girls.”
She moved past me, gliding a hand softly, and delicately across my arm as she climbed into the car. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to see somebody leave.
But if I’d known that it would be one of the final times I’d ever see Aubrey J. Parker, I’d have used every second to find out as much as I could.
She might cost me my job.
She might cost me my wife.
She’s taken everything from me. And what have I gained? Absolutely nothing but fear of a twenty-six year old woman with a God complex.
Aubrey J. Parker is not crazy. Aubrey J. Parker is evil. I’m afraid for this man she calls Terry.
you’ll never know what hit you
fin.
