Trying Not To Fall

[J-Hop]

“Don't look down, its an impossible view
Fly like an eagle, whatever you do
Don't look down, its an impossible view
Spread your wings, aerial”

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brooklyn, ny -- aug.15.13

“No matter how many times I want and dream for this place to change; it never will.”

Sitting within the circular section of Sunset Park, I shared the bench with one of my childhood friends. Coming back home after a long time spent traveling the roads, I felt as if it was needed. Being on the road so much with my family, Anthony and Will, I didn’t need that expensive-ass ‘broke-down’ apartment. I needed to be ‘cleansed’ of all this negative shit. Giving the final pay to a ‘coke-snorting’ landlord, that was a beam lifted off of my shoulders.

Sitting my childhood homie, ‘Pookie’ -- (Don’t act like you never had that childhood friend who refused to use his government name, yet in place of it is an awkward, real awkward choice of nickname.) However, he was as cool as can be. He was a born ‘hustler’, he wasn’t a lawyer, a singer, an actor or any kind of famous personality. He was just ‘scrobbling’ his way through life. He sadly nodded his head to what I had said about the city and the environment, the culture of it, being considered a jungle, unsafe.

“It’s just a shame a young kid can’t survive one day out in these streets. It seems every couple of hours, somebody gets axed and all we hear is the mother or the father’s cry for peace.”

“Yeah, no lie. Shit is crazy, but we can only preach so much. Police can only guard for so long. It’s tough.”

It was a brief moment of silence as we looked at our surroundings. It was mid-day, park full of pigeons and some trash that escaped the overfilled fancy, steel trash cans.

“I’m happy for you lil’ homie. I mean you managed to escape this ‘mad world’ and reached for the skies. You’re an entertainer. You give the fans entertainment, you’re humble and full of hunger.”

Nodding, taking the compliments as one should, to the heart.

“I mean I remember the days in the back of the apartment complex rolling dice for loose change, cents that is. Not dollars. It was something that kept us focused on and out of trouble. I mean, we’ve all got them demons but we keep them from being seen. Too many celebrities who get a little fame and then they go ‘CooCoo for CoCo Puffs’. Ignorance and arrogance leaves em’ broke, always. Fame doesn’t always last forever.”

Nodding as I ran past a few who held a smile when they got paid. Bought everything that their money could and charged heavily on that card. Now they unemployed and rolling in a sea full of debt. I couldn’t do that to myself.

“Yeah, I’ve learned from my mistakes. Not perfect by all means but I correct on the ‘fuck-ups’. I try to do all I can man. I was thankful of knowing the right sources to get me where I am right now. Shhheeeh, if it wasn’t for my boy Juan and his knowledge, I wouldn’t be close to anything. Probably flipping burnt burgers at McDonalds.”

A light crack of a smile escaped on Pookie’s serious-looking face as he nodded.

“Yeah homie, your cooking skills ain’t up to par. Thank god you didn’t have to do McDonalds because you wouldn’t have made it long with burnt burgers.”

Another laugh comes from him as my face didn’t motion much of a smile like previously.

“Didn’t have to go that hard on me, bruh! It’s good though.”

“So what brought you back? It’s been a long-ass time since we met-up. It took a random walk to see ya’ again.”

“Yeah, I came back to take care of a little business. Thought it’d be good to visit home before I launch back off.”

Pookie nodded his head.

“Well just keep your head up!”

“...Always, bruh!”

“And never forget where you came from, ever.”

“...Never will! I always rep the home whenever possible. It may be hell but it taught me quickly about this thing called “life” and how to live it positively.”

He reached over with his open right hand. Hitting him with my left, we shook hands and went to one of our old school customized handshakes. The ‘Up and Under’. Both of us laughing at the end, seeing how we still had it packed down, the scene grew dark and darker by the second, fading to black.


detroit, mi -- aug.25.13

“That .. party ... was ... dope!”

It was near noon as we all were aligned, side by side down the hotel that was the nearest from the Joe Louis Arena. We had our own rooms this go-round as we loved every bit of yesterday’s events. As we walked, you can tell that we were still tired, although we reeked of joyful smiles on our faces. Bailey had a very important match at Shockwave in just mere hours from now against Keaton Saint and I had to put on my best performance ever to capture that TapOut title against two of APW’s finest come tomorrow night. Time to relax was now over, it was all about the grind.

“I really enjoyed myself yesterday. When Wrestling’s finest meets Hip-Hop’s finest! All those names, Young Mannie put it down!”

Anthony held that trademark smile of his on his face as his arms rested atop his head as we rounded the corners of the third floor within the extravagant hotel.

“Straight fire, just straight freakin’ fire! I never seen so many hot dimes in my life. All different flavors.”

William, the ‘ladies man’ was doing his thing, being the gentlemen while getting in dances like he was the black ‘Fandango’. It was fun all over.

“All I know is I got to OFFICIALLY see Miley twerk it for the cameras, live and in person. Goes to show ya’ music videos are educational. You can learn alot from including how to ‘twerk’ like a black girl!”

Anthony begins chuckling while shaking his head.

“That’s all you been on since it happened. It was an enjoyable all around. Was a blast to see BIG K.R.I.T there too!”

“Yeah, that was a dope set by him. We can call that “recess” before work. Now we gotta’ get our focus back on what stands in front of us.”

Anthony nodded.

“Right! I get one shot, one chance at taking down Keaton Saint and putting him on my resume. Tonight's the night!”

All three of slapped hands, sharing smiles along the way.

“Right on, man! I got Logan Alexander and Mr. Enigma for this TapOut title match. Tonight and tomorrow is big for TDB. People keep doubting us even after we make history. It’s weird yet it’s motivation for us all.”

“Motivation and hunger usually leads to success. The talk has been for as long as you two been partners, before my arrival. They doubt your skills outside of tag team matches. They just don’t know.”

With a wide-mouthed grin, I looked at William as I shook my head.

“Nope, they don’t and that’s going to be their downfall. If it ain’t calling me the ‘shadow’ to Bailey’s success, it’s the ‘mumbo-jumbo’ bullcrap they choose to spew out as far as me rolling solo. I just can’t win against the critics. It sucks but I can’t let it bother me. They’ll see in the end.”

Traveling throughout the hotel, we headed towards the cafeteria as it was pretty much noon’ on the clock’s current time. Fresh smell of cafeteria food. You had Fried Chicken (of course), Macaroni and Cheese, and good variety of other main dishes and fixes for everyone’s taste. We got our plates as it wasn’t much of a long line and we made it to an unused table as we sat like always, together as a family. It was the way we did things, keeping that bond tighter than ‘super glue’. Not too many teams would go this far. Fact is, we enjoyed each other’s company, we were a band of brothers.

We bowed our heads at the table. Moments after, we bumped our fists against each other.

“Pre-victory meal we’re about to eat! Let’s do work!”

Agreeing with the saying of “Amen” in unison, we dug into our plates, getting in what would be considered “Brunch”. The clock was counting down quicker with every glance towards it.

=========================================

Location: Hotel Room (The Regency Hyatt)
Time: 5:49 PM EST

Tah-Dahhhhhh ... We’re here, primed and readyyy!

I’m not mad that I’m not booked for the highly-anticipated “Shockwave” pay-per-view. I get to ride back over to the Joe Louis Arena to see my homeboy perform against one of the ‘greats’ of not just of APW, but wrestling, period. It’s all the people are talking about. Will Keaton take one more “W” before hanging his career up on the plaque or will the future legend in Anthony Bailey take home the crown that Keaton Saint wore proudly. The King’s crown. All I know is I get to see it up close and that’s alright with me.

Tomorrow night, it’ll be my time. MY TIME. I get to shine on the brand that made me who I am today. Meltdown. Although it’s pretty much now a host for Super Shows, still I pay homage to it. Inside of ‘The Palace’, those fans cheering and chanting my name out loud.

While I might not be from D-Town and sport the love for the Pistons, Lions, Red Wings or even the Wolverines, I appreciate the heart and desire they play with. It’s a representation of me in a nutshell. Go hard every time, no ‘short-selling’. I go into this thing, not as a favorite, but as an “underdog”, the ever-beloved “underdog”. It’s cool, no problemo’. Just means more motivation on my end. I was already pumped up about facing Mr. Logan Alexander again. We hold so much chemistry with our frequent battles at the time. He knows me and I know him. I know his goals, his angles of pursuit. I await his move only so I can cross him up and leave him temporarily paralyzed on the canvas, trying to recover.

I’m going to remind the “champ” that I am still hungry. I might hold half of these tag titles but I will never have a full stomach. Eager for more, steadily hunting, I will end up one day victorious. That day seems closer than one would think, Logan. I get it, you’re taller, heavier and stronger than me. You can bend me into a pretzel without sweating. You did it before I believe but you know what you never achieved? You never “broke” me down physically nor mentally. I told you that you wouldn’t, I told you many things but you didn’t listen.

I told you about Aubrey, I told you that she was the conventional whore. She used you, made you her puppet. Get you involved in her battles. You didn’t understand, you were brainwashed by a ‘Nuthead’. Shame Logan, it’s a fucking shame. But you know, we all learn from our mistakes. We all look to stray away from making those same mistakes again. Oh I feel for you Logan but at the same time, I laugh at you. It was an easy read, but atleast no one can say you weren’t a good friend. You stood by her side, right or wrong and did your best to defend her every week out. Props, man ... Props!

With the praise, I won’t back down from kicking your ass and trying my hardest and best to dethrone you. It’s going to be one hell of a battle for that championship of yours. With all the shit you’ve gone through lately, you still stand strong and that’s what matters when you’re a champion. You can’t let them see you sweat. Feeling down, feeling insecure about yourself and your abilities only make shit worse on your end. As a challenger, it’s what I look for in one and you Logan are making it very public. Stomp on those ill thoughts and get your shit together. You got a title defense with a little over twenty-four hours. You better be at your best, homie. I’m coming hard.

Oh I haven’t forgot about you Mister Enigma...

You crazy, diabolical, man of mystery. You have been successful and I cannot disagree against it. While it may have been against ‘nobodies’, you got “W’s” and I have to take it as I see it. You haven’t felt the wrath of a true challenge. You get to taste the rainbow tomorrow night with me and Logan in the ring. It’s hard to understand you and that stands as a positive on your end. You’re a mystery, full of unwanted surprises I’m sure of. Meltdown Supershow, that match, it’s where you’re going to reveal it all and place yourself on the pedestal as the next Tap Out Champion.

Hahahaha....

Good dreaming there man. I’ve been standing in this like the longest, waiting for my chance. Here it is and you Mr. Enigma are considered as the ‘Third Wheel’. You’re going to do the obvious and watch and wait for that perfect opportunity to bounce on a pinning situation. I know it.

I just can’t wait, period.

Whether I win or lose, I won’t cry about it. Knowing I gave my best, left the fans happy, I’m good. I know more opportunities will await me. I came this far, did this much in a short amount of time, it’s all good. I’m not trying to fall anytime soon, I won’t allow it. Plenty will do their best to knock me down but I just will not succumb. Forward and up is where I’ll be.