One's Hot Problems

[Level-Two]

One's Hot Problems...



With the return of Johnny Rebel the APW was a buzz - investors enjoyed the mere notion of the two APW Mega Stars once again working in tandem in what would undoubtedly forge the greatest power alliance that had not be seen since Level-One found himself shackled to likes of Terry Marvin. A power so great, it proved to be unsustainable in the end.

As they all do.

Defiantly however was the roar of the great APW world champion who refused to yield on his position. He vehemently declined the offer put forth by his former friend and shunned him in the process. However, he did still have his doubts for he knew power and control rested upon his finger tips and to him - it would be forever appealing.

Though, in the distance of his memory he recalled his former friend’s betrayal. Johnny was a traitor, a coward and a deserter of their clan. To forgive means to forget and he knew of nothing short of a bullet would achieve such a miracle thus making co-existence nearly impossible.

Luckily for us all, not everyone is as merciless as our APW world champion - and even he, one day will come to appreciate that.

...but not today.

----

He was interrupted by the sound of a door bell. It was very rare he had any visits - only an exclusive group of people would have ever been granted such access and the love of his life was one of them. He expected her tonight.

''Hey, Lester!''

He took a step back almost in disbelief - it wasn't his fiancé but rather Kaylyn Evans. Despite his surprise, he couldn’t help but reveal a grin - no matter how nervous.

''Uh, Hi Kay?'' He said confused as he ran his hands through his clean cut. ''I'm sorry but did we arrange something?''

''Nope but you told me I could come on over anytime, right?'' Kaylyn asked him playfully putting her hands on her hips.

''In the heat of the moment, maybe?'' Lester asked himself. ''Though only if your visit had involved business implications and I can't imagine you being here to learn more about our stocks or even our newest sponsorship deal or product line...''

''You're right.'' Kaylyn said with a sigh. ''I'm here because in a few days you Mister are going to be stepping in the ring alongside me against Johnny Rebel and Amy Zing and I need to be in tip top shape to redeem myself after last week.''

''Well, maybe you should have beaten her last week then because this week isn't exactly jiving with my schedule...''

''Why are you so uptight, Lester!?'' Kaylyn asked, as she walked towards him and put her finger on her chest. ''You aren't getting cold feet about us, are you?''

Lester coughed. ''Us? Yeah, no. Of course not. I told you - I'm here for you, the LeWinters and every small fry backing the Synndicate itself.''

''Great.'' Kaylyn said with a smile. ''So... I was hoping that I could show you a few moves?''

He snarled. ''Why would I need you to show ME a few new moves? I pretty much have a technical grasp on everything in the book. Shit, I can do things men one fourth my size can and better.''

''Well, I wanted to practice my triangle choke...'' Kaylyn persisted. ''Though, most guys just make everything awkward...''

''Ohkay!'' Lester boldly declared. ''As much as I would LOVE to shore up your technicality game tonight - I am actually expecting someone here.''

Kaylyn Evans rolled her eyes. ''Then why didn't you just say so, silly? It's Patricia isn't it? Look, no need to make things awkward. In fact, I was REALLY hoping to meet her...''

''Really?''

''Yeah, really...'' Kaylyn echoed. ''Why wouldn't I?''

He thought about it like she did, long and hard. However, he quickly snapped out of his slumber and put his thoughts of a grand ol' threesome to bed. He knew Patricia would be jealousy regardless of their intent. The public was already egging it on.

''Sorry Kaylyn, I can't.''

''What do you mean?'' Kaylyn protested. ''Why?''

''Look, it's not you... it's me.'' Lester said before stopping and thinking about it. ''Wait, actually it's not you, it's not me... it's her.''

At that moment the door bell rung. Kaylyn tried to protest once again but Level-One quickly shoved her into a nearby closet and threw his body weight behind it. With his fist, he banged on the door several times.

''Please Kaylyn, just level with me!''

With that desperate plea, she stopped. He breathed a sigh of relief. Although he knew Kaylyn hated it she was willing to go along with it for the betterment of him. Fortunately for her, it was one big closet. The fortunes of being a multi millionaire, indeed.

He opened the door.

''Hey, baby!'' He greeted his fiancé Patricia Lewis at the door with open arms. ''How was your day, beautiful?''

''To be honest, I'm feeling absolutely swamped. This report I am doing about the study on steroids usage in professional wrestling business is deadline’d for tomorrow morning...'' she stated, overwhelmed.

''Roids, huh?'' Lester snarled. ''Maybe that's what that meathead Johnny Rebel was spending all his money on and probably would explain the shrinkage of his balls.''

''Ugh, Johnny Rebel?'' Patricia said with disgust. ''That's that guy who kept staring at my ass when we went out to dinner with that one time, right?''

''That would be him.'' Lester confirmed with a great deal of regret. ''Well, since you're busy and I have a match coming up in a few days anyways, maybe we can reschedule our date night?''

''I hate to but it's either that or my job, Lester.'' Patricia said before her nostrils twitched. ''Hey, Lester... are you wearing perfume?''

''No, why the hell would I be wearing perfume?'' He said dismissively before catching himself. ''On second thought, its blueberry and apricot but don't judge me... I am experimenting.''

Patricia didn't stop long enough to give it a second thought; she quickly perked up and gave Lester Only a kiss on the cheek instead.

''I love you baby, stay out of trouble.''

'’You know I always do…’’

Quickly, she rushed out of the door slamming it shut behind her. With her departure, he stood staring at the front door thinking about his future with Patricia Lewis.

A future without wrestling.

---

I am going to do my best to remain calm.

Please, someone explain to me how the FUCK is it that I woke up Friday morning, logged my ass into APW.com only to find my name opposite the likes of Amy Zing in any capacity? Heh. I thought it was a mistake, it had to be a mistake. After all, when was the last time (if ever) you saw the name Amy Zing top the head of the APW Overdrive card? This mistake, I figured it would correct itself much like Nature could with a flood on earth wiping out our mundane species but like most things APW, it's only a staple that the error remains.

I don't know if I should be offended or outright flattered that this overrated bitch has been given her just desserts by being granted an opportunity to wrestle a half-naked wrestling god. Though, this broad won't stop long enough to thank me or her superiors because like most people among her pecking order, they're too busy trying to fight their way out of their own vacuum of mediocrity that they are unable to truly appreciate anything outside of it. It is exactly why that once Amy Zing won her North American title, she hadn't uttered a word about the APW world title since. Good. Stay in your lane, bitch.

''Oh, but Lester she beat Kaylyn James Evans last week!''

I still can't even rationalize how that happened but those are Kaylyn's demons, not mine. Unlike Kaylyn, I can afford to shit on you as I please. I'm not pushing pay per view numbers, I can undersell you like overweight two dollar hooker and nobody is going to even think twice about it. I can belittle as I choose with no concern for repercussions as there isn't a scenario in the universe that has you pinning me to the mat for three seconds that exists. Finally, your tongue in return can tickle my balls at best. Anything else coming out of that mouth of yours is immediately triumphed by the APW world champion card I pull. You are inferior and you better just learn to embrace it now...

For those paying attention they all realize that it's no coincidence that the first time I publicly acknowledge your mere existence, you find yourself in the main event the following week. At least your rent a tag team partner has had a history with main eventing the odd show and pay per view cycle. It's a fact that I create stars overnight and I can break them by day if I choose and unlucky for you, your done when the sun comes up. After this week, it's back to whatever the hell it is you were doing and out of my life - the only ramblings I expect to hear involving your name are twitter rants from a bitter Johnny Rebel railing you for not being able to carry him like I did.

The only reason I gave you that rub is that because I was trying to make a good first impression, apparently Kaylyn Evans had a different idea of what that is. Regardless, she's attractive and thus easily forgiven. I know it's not fair for the Chewbacca’s of the world like yourself but those are just the tough breaks in life kid, deal with it. Specifically, I picked you out because I viewed you as an easy mark with the most upside in the event of victory. The events last week have put something’s in perspective and Kaylyn Evans knows she can't see you the same way I do. Fortunately, my eyes are my own and my truths aren't universal; as if you could see life through my eyes, you'd see things your words couldn't transcribe and would be far too intellectually inferior to articulate. Capiche, bitch?

As for Johnny Rebel...

Who the FUCK do you think you are? You strut down the ring like you picked up Grandpa's swagger, wearing some fancy suit that is at least one size too big and isn't yours all the while rocking a new haircut like it's your first day at school. Cute. Really. The problem is everyone is labeling this as your return and I can't help but wonder what exactly did you leave? For anyone paying attention, this is business as usual. You work a few months out of the year and then fuck right off again to the PWR or whatever bullshit stripes a disloyal traitor like you wears. Though, the jokes on us. The APW's doors are always open for a guy like you because President Jeff is rarely ever concerned with keeping the pieces of shit out.

Loyal guys like me? We get fucked over. Over on Asylum, Terry Marvin defends his title against anyone who's a weekly trend on twitter; whereas, I had to sit in line and jump through hoops for almost a year and then chase Terry Marvin across company lines just to get a fair shot. Though, fly by the night characters like you? Well, you get comfortable staff positions and preferential treatment of course. In fact, you had one of the highest honors of running the show all together as general manager before you were FIRED for an ABUSE of power. Typical.

How can I be surprised that the first thing you do when you get back is approach me for some type of fucking handout? It's a proven fact a tyrant like you can't help but gravitate to the closest thing to power and this time that was me. I don't appreciate being taken for as a sucker, Johnny. I'm not going to be your goddamned meal ticket. You act like your offer meant that there was something positive in it for me and I just don't see it. Sure, we had our little hay day but working twice as hard to put in the work you didn't isn't exactly my idea of fun. Approaching every match knowing your partner is the weak link and having to depend on him not fucking it all up is NOT my idea of a good time. It was nerve racking and unbearably miserable.

And now because I've made the wise business choice not be locked into a fruitless commitment with the likes of you, you can't help but immediately resort to threats about how I am going to regret all this. That alone shows your hand. You don't want to team up with me to actually work as one; rather, you’re in it for your own self-aggrandizement. It's one thing to be selfish in the empire you built; it's another when you're selfish living high off the hog of somebody else. You can go fuck yourself with Amy Zings rain bowed color plaything, buddy.

I mean seriously, you're a grown middle aged man with no concept of personal responsibility - you made millions of dollars in this business and you wasted every red scent on god knows what. And instead of acknowledging your faults and learning from it, you're arrogantly flaunting someone else's money in everybody’s face. That's great, Johnny... but why don't you remind us all about what you've actually done for yourself!? Oh, that's right. Nothing. Your inability to kick out of a pin cost us the tag team titles. You have been given chances time and time and again but the second you're faced with adversity, you run like the coward you are. So, enjoy the hype while it lasts Johnny - you've given your loyal fans something to look forward to at least twice a year. Think of it like Christmas on steroids. It's just sooo fun! 

So, please - keep building up to your big reveal. I am dying to know who your big mystery hunk is hiding behind door number one is! Though, understand that no matter who that person is - remember that there isn't enough money in the world that can buy you some dignity.

Rags or riches, I'll be body bagging both of you bitches!

Now zip it.