Selective Memory, Failed Beginnings.
Sept 21, 2013 16:06:07 GMT -4
Jason Cashe and Lord Raab like this
Post by Reaver on Sept 21, 2013 16:06:07 GMT -4
The scene opens up on a small hill overlooking Quezon City in the Philippines. On the other side of the hill is a vast jungle; a dangerous jungle that's filled with poisonous snakes, spiders, lizards you get the idea. A triplet of shadows are seen climbing over the hill to catch a glimpse of their destination. They see the jungle in front of them and instead of worrying about the dangers, they stand there in excitement at the journey that lies in store. The camera pans around them until they become in focus. The may not look like much but as the camera puts them in focus, you notice something odd. Something, fresh. The three shadows are nothing more than children, a young girl, a young boy and a weird looking monkey? How bizarre....
These aren't just ANY children....and monkey. THESE children......and monkey are none other than the greatest explorers in the world. Sally the explorer with her trusty helper monkey Pillar and GO! Aubrey J. Diego GO! A silly name if you ask me. Regardless, these three are considered the BEST explorers in the world and will stop at nothing to reach their destination.
Sally: Look Pillar! Quezon City. THAT is where we will be headed.
Pillar: RAAHHH!! Why are we all the way out here in another country? Where are you guy's parents? Raaahhh!
AJD: WHOA! Your monkey talks? That's amazing! But why does it talk like a parrot?
Sally: Not as amazing as your name. GO! Aubrey J. Diego GO! I mean seriously!? Who names their child something like that? You're nothing more than a walking contradiction like the living dead, solid but juicy or Johnny Knuckles as a Champion.
AJD: They couldn't figure out if I was a boy or a girl so they gave me both. Besides, look who's talking miss “Explorer”. What nationality is that?
Pillar: No really!? WHERE are you guy's parents? Who let's their child go to another country alone? You guys are only like five or something.
They continue to bicker as the scene temporarily fades then reopens as the young explorers make their way through the jungle. Cutting their way with machetes through the dark trenches and vile beasts that lay before them.
AJD: Man, I'm really starting to get hungry.
Pillar: RAHH! Yea, me too. Rahh.
Sally: Worry not explorers! My trusty backpack will feed us!
Pillar: Why do you announce everything as if we're in a stadium? RAHH!!
Sally: Why do you sound like a mouthy bird?
Pillar: Rahh! It's a birth defect....
Sally removes her trusty purple backpack and places it on the ground. It's there for her whenever she needs it and mystically has anything she needs. She rummages through it and pulls out some sandwiches to eat but lurking in the shadows is something very evil. Waiting, watching as they take a break to nourish themselves. A furry jackal who happens to be wearing a bandana over his eyes and a shirt that reads, “Kash”. He manages to sneak up on the crew as they eat and is inches away from the backpack when Sally realizes he's there to steal it away. She looks into the camera and addresses the people.
Sally: OH NO! Looks like that Jackal Kash is at it again. He is trying to steal our lunch. We need YOUR help to keep him from taking it.
AJD: Who are you talking to?
Sally: The people at home watching.
AJD: There's nobody there. Do you think this is reality TV or something? This isn't Jersey Shore ya' know.
The monkey starts fist pumping.
Sally: I need everybody to say, “SWIPER NO SWIPING!”
AJD: Isn't his name Jackal?
Sally: You're right! I need everybody to say, “JACKAL NO JACKING! JACKAL NO JACKING!”
(in unison, all three): JACKAL NO JACKING, JACKA NO JACKING!
Jackal picks up the backpack anyways. A smirk on his face and a finger in the air.
Jackal: BITCH PLEASE! That only works on kid shows......
Just then, Pillar pulls out his glock and points it at Jackals face.
Jackal pimp slaps the monkey down and spits on him. The look of disdain takes over and Pillar looks away; defeated. Sally tries to stop him but he takes it anyways and walks off.
Sally: I can't believe this. I lost. I don't wanna' go on anymore. I need a break to find myself.
AJD: There's no time for that, we need to keep going.
Pillar: Cmon' Sally, we can do it together RAAH!!
Sally: You're right! Let's GO!
AJD: I wish you'd stop talking into nothing like that.
The monkey fist pumps again as the scene fades temporarily once again then reopens further along on their journey. Moving along, they manage to come along The Tullahan River. Quezon City is seen just in the distance on the other side. Looking at the river, the water seems to be wilder than usual as a nearby boat just barely big enough for three (how convenient) is moving up and down on the water's bank.
The trio look on nervously as they see this challenge before them. Pillar falls to the ground in fear and manages to run off into the distance of the jungle leaving AJD and Sally there to face the perils by themselves.
Sally: What happened?
AJD: So much for that.
Sally: Looks like we go at this alone.
The hop in the boat and shove off into the rough styling of the river. As it rocks back and forth, the unsettling feeling makes their stomachs queezy with hints of gas. In one swift motion, they reach over the sides and let out (expletive deleted) all over the river. The waves splash up over the sides and manage to spit the (expletive deleted) back all over them. They look at each other with disgust but just then, the boat hits land making them fall out onto the ground face first.
Covered in (expletive deleted) they get up and see that Quezon City is just over the horizon. They try to rejoice but the smell starts to make them argue and fight. They say some “choice things” to each other then start fighting and rolling around. The camera fades back to show a TV and Reaver sitting on the couch of his hotel room watching a cartoon show as he prepares himself for his match in Quezon City.
Reaver: HEHEHEHAHAHAHA! And who says that children shows aren't educational huh? I particularly like how Pillar got pimp slapped and ran off with the goods anyways. This show though, it tells a tale. The tale of young women who set out to explore their horizons. Sally, you know damn well that's you. When Knuckles first started in APW, you were on top. You were THE person to beat. He was a nobody looking for his place and yet there you were looking down on everybody. Just as you do now. Nobody knows for sure if you care about APW or if you're in it for yourself at this point but regardless, you are still you. You fought war after war to be the toughest woman in APW and you certainly earned it Sally.
In the eyes of a lot of guys, you were untouchable. You eventually made your way to Asylum and became the first ever person, yes I said person, to hold both the World Heavyweight Championship and Undisputed Championship. An amazing feat if I do say so myself. What I wanna' know is, what happened? What happened to that dominate woman who fought so hard to get ahead? It's almost as if you felt that you had nothing more to prove. You gave up. And if it wasn't you who beat you, it certainly was Jason Kash and Dangertainment. You know, that little group Kash and Knuckles started even before they came here. When Knuckle-head took some time off and left Borderland in charge, they eventually became tag champions. And defended against ALL comers, even the likes of you and Havok.
This was when you took your first hiatus, or at least that we know of. When times got tough, you turned tail and hit the bricks. Then when you came back, you made a huge impact by regaining that honor of being THE top champion all over again only to lose it to Jason Kash. Once again, you took a hiatus. I'm starting to see a pattern Sally. The one thing you did that I absolutely LOVED was when you gave Johnny boy his 100th career loss. You had me ROLLING and laughing so hard that I nearly shit in Knuckles pants. And what did he do for all YOUR hard work Sally? He celebrated. Really? That moron celebrated a loss? And people think I'M nuts HEHEHEHAHAHA!
Now, we certainly cannot forget poor old Phil Atken. Here was a guy who nobody thought could compete with the “upper class” lets just say, and he managed to beat even the likes of you to become Champion and what did you do again Sally? You took a hiatus that's right. Do you see what I'm getting at? Whenever you lose and something didn't go your way, you tuck in that “huge clit” and cry off into the sunset. Now here you are complaining that you have a match to regain that honor you lost all because it opens the show. WAAHHHHH!!!!! Or perhaps that's just your would be partner who I will get to in a minute. My point is Sally, is that you HAVE no honor. You have no respect for this sport or this business or even this company for that matter.
No respect at all like the late great Rodney Dangerfield, “WHHOAAA when I was first born, the doctor slapped MY MOTHAH', now that was rough.” You spit in the face of every competitor that ever stepped foot in that ring representing the greatest organization ever called Action Packed Wrestling. You dare call yourself a former champion on MY show? When times got tough, I didn't turn tale and run like a bitch. I stood my ground. When we took our 100th career loss to you, we didn't whine and threaten to quit. Knuckles celebrated like the douche he is HEHEHAHAHAHA! We made lemonade out of lemons. And now here we are going face to face for the SECOND time ever. Nothing would please us more than to avenge the loss you gave us. One thing I gotta' ask though. What do you have against Jason anyways?
Are you made he took away the World Heavyweight Championship from you? Are you mad that he kept you from becoming Tag Champions? He's beaten you on every occasion that involved a title but when you beat him FINALLY in a non title match that meant nothing, THAT is when it really matters? When nothing but pride is on the line? I think Kash took the pride out of you not once but twice and you never truly recovered from it. You couldn't get it done and instead of owning up to it, you put forth a tough front to make yourself look like anything but in inconsistent waste of womanhood. Just admit it Sally, you're not as good as you once was and we will take great pride in proving that one more time.
Then we have your great tag team partner Aubrey J. Parker. Hi Aubs. Hey Aubs. Hey Aubs. Hey Aubs. Hey Aubs.......see how fucking annoying that is? We wouldn't waste our time coming up with an unoriginal nickname for you so why would you do that to us? Or maybe you're too busy texting shorthand to also give a shit about APW, Asylum or the fans. The supposed FUTURE of APW was riding high when you won Test For The Best. Well done Aubrey. Not exactly an easy feat to accomplish only to lose to Terry Marvin when you finally earned your shot. And now you complain that you have an opening match on Asylum? Who the fuck are you? You are a failed contender just like the rest of us. You think you were the only person to lose to Terry? That guy has been riding high for over a year and you think it was YOUR destiny to beat him? Talk about selfish.
Where were you when Asylum had a dictator ruining what you worked hard for? Where were you when YOUR way of life was threatened but Stefan Raab? You were busy texting naked pictures of yourself to weirdos on craigslist or something. You can't save the world by sitting on your couch Aubrey so if you wanna' make a change, then get up off your lazy ass and do something about it. No? You'd rather sit there and text with your butt buddy Logan Alexander huh? Where is he by the way? Jerking off to old matches he had involving Jair Hopkins I bet.
You both fought and ruled APW for your own personal greed rather than for the bigger picture. I didn;t see Sally Talfourd fighting for the right to run Asylum. I didn't see Aubrey J. Parker trying to make Asylum a better place when the time called for it. It was us who bled for this company. It was us who fought to restore order where it belonged. Now look at us. Out of the four of us, I am the only person that's currently champion. Ironic ain't it? You're right though ladies, I certainly am riding high right now. I won back control over Asylum from that pompous prick Raab and finally became Suicidal Champ.
There really are no underdogs in this match ladies. We've all fought hard and ended up champion at some point. The problem is that you both think you deserve something for having a name. Who gives a shit? It's not about the name you made for yourself but what you do with it. Do you really believe that crying like bitches will make you look good? Talk about embarrassing APW. As usual though, we will step up and save APW, protect Asylum from the likes of selfish retards like you. From people who never though of anybody but themselves instead of taking care of the business that treated them so well. No, Knuckles ISN'T here but this Sunday, he lets loose the Reaver and I will personally take pleasure in hurting the reputations that either of you have left. Believe us when we say that. Believe that we will gladly die defending the house that Kash-n-Knuckles built.
The echoes of laughter fill the air as the scene fades.
These aren't just ANY children....and monkey. THESE children......and monkey are none other than the greatest explorers in the world. Sally the explorer with her trusty helper monkey Pillar and GO! Aubrey J. Diego GO! A silly name if you ask me. Regardless, these three are considered the BEST explorers in the world and will stop at nothing to reach their destination.
Sally: Look Pillar! Quezon City. THAT is where we will be headed.
Pillar: RAAHHH!! Why are we all the way out here in another country? Where are you guy's parents? Raaahhh!
AJD: WHOA! Your monkey talks? That's amazing! But why does it talk like a parrot?
Sally: Not as amazing as your name. GO! Aubrey J. Diego GO! I mean seriously!? Who names their child something like that? You're nothing more than a walking contradiction like the living dead, solid but juicy or Johnny Knuckles as a Champion.
AJD: They couldn't figure out if I was a boy or a girl so they gave me both. Besides, look who's talking miss “Explorer”. What nationality is that?
Pillar: No really!? WHERE are you guy's parents? Who let's their child go to another country alone? You guys are only like five or something.
They continue to bicker as the scene temporarily fades then reopens as the young explorers make their way through the jungle. Cutting their way with machetes through the dark trenches and vile beasts that lay before them.
AJD: Man, I'm really starting to get hungry.
Pillar: RAHH! Yea, me too. Rahh.
Sally: Worry not explorers! My trusty backpack will feed us!
Pillar: Why do you announce everything as if we're in a stadium? RAHH!!
Sally: Why do you sound like a mouthy bird?
Pillar: Rahh! It's a birth defect....
Sally removes her trusty purple backpack and places it on the ground. It's there for her whenever she needs it and mystically has anything she needs. She rummages through it and pulls out some sandwiches to eat but lurking in the shadows is something very evil. Waiting, watching as they take a break to nourish themselves. A furry jackal who happens to be wearing a bandana over his eyes and a shirt that reads, “Kash”. He manages to sneak up on the crew as they eat and is inches away from the backpack when Sally realizes he's there to steal it away. She looks into the camera and addresses the people.
Sally: OH NO! Looks like that Jackal Kash is at it again. He is trying to steal our lunch. We need YOUR help to keep him from taking it.
AJD: Who are you talking to?
Sally: The people at home watching.
AJD: There's nobody there. Do you think this is reality TV or something? This isn't Jersey Shore ya' know.
The monkey starts fist pumping.
Sally: I need everybody to say, “SWIPER NO SWIPING!”
AJD: Isn't his name Jackal?
Sally: You're right! I need everybody to say, “JACKAL NO JACKING! JACKAL NO JACKING!”
(in unison, all three): JACKAL NO JACKING, JACKA NO JACKING!
Jackal picks up the backpack anyways. A smirk on his face and a finger in the air.
Jackal: BITCH PLEASE! That only works on kid shows......
Just then, Pillar pulls out his glock and points it at Jackals face.
Jackal pimp slaps the monkey down and spits on him. The look of disdain takes over and Pillar looks away; defeated. Sally tries to stop him but he takes it anyways and walks off.
Sally: I can't believe this. I lost. I don't wanna' go on anymore. I need a break to find myself.
AJD: There's no time for that, we need to keep going.
Pillar: Cmon' Sally, we can do it together RAAH!!
Sally: You're right! Let's GO!
AJD: I wish you'd stop talking into nothing like that.
The monkey fist pumps again as the scene fades temporarily once again then reopens further along on their journey. Moving along, they manage to come along The Tullahan River. Quezon City is seen just in the distance on the other side. Looking at the river, the water seems to be wilder than usual as a nearby boat just barely big enough for three (how convenient) is moving up and down on the water's bank.
The trio look on nervously as they see this challenge before them. Pillar falls to the ground in fear and manages to run off into the distance of the jungle leaving AJD and Sally there to face the perils by themselves.
Sally: What happened?
AJD: So much for that.
Sally: Looks like we go at this alone.
The hop in the boat and shove off into the rough styling of the river. As it rocks back and forth, the unsettling feeling makes their stomachs queezy with hints of gas. In one swift motion, they reach over the sides and let out (expletive deleted) all over the river. The waves splash up over the sides and manage to spit the (expletive deleted) back all over them. They look at each other with disgust but just then, the boat hits land making them fall out onto the ground face first.
Covered in (expletive deleted) they get up and see that Quezon City is just over the horizon. They try to rejoice but the smell starts to make them argue and fight. They say some “choice things” to each other then start fighting and rolling around. The camera fades back to show a TV and Reaver sitting on the couch of his hotel room watching a cartoon show as he prepares himself for his match in Quezon City.
Reaver: HEHEHEHAHAHAHA! And who says that children shows aren't educational huh? I particularly like how Pillar got pimp slapped and ran off with the goods anyways. This show though, it tells a tale. The tale of young women who set out to explore their horizons. Sally, you know damn well that's you. When Knuckles first started in APW, you were on top. You were THE person to beat. He was a nobody looking for his place and yet there you were looking down on everybody. Just as you do now. Nobody knows for sure if you care about APW or if you're in it for yourself at this point but regardless, you are still you. You fought war after war to be the toughest woman in APW and you certainly earned it Sally.
In the eyes of a lot of guys, you were untouchable. You eventually made your way to Asylum and became the first ever person, yes I said person, to hold both the World Heavyweight Championship and Undisputed Championship. An amazing feat if I do say so myself. What I wanna' know is, what happened? What happened to that dominate woman who fought so hard to get ahead? It's almost as if you felt that you had nothing more to prove. You gave up. And if it wasn't you who beat you, it certainly was Jason Kash and Dangertainment. You know, that little group Kash and Knuckles started even before they came here. When Knuckle-head took some time off and left Borderland in charge, they eventually became tag champions. And defended against ALL comers, even the likes of you and Havok.
This was when you took your first hiatus, or at least that we know of. When times got tough, you turned tail and hit the bricks. Then when you came back, you made a huge impact by regaining that honor of being THE top champion all over again only to lose it to Jason Kash. Once again, you took a hiatus. I'm starting to see a pattern Sally. The one thing you did that I absolutely LOVED was when you gave Johnny boy his 100th career loss. You had me ROLLING and laughing so hard that I nearly shit in Knuckles pants. And what did he do for all YOUR hard work Sally? He celebrated. Really? That moron celebrated a loss? And people think I'M nuts HEHEHEHAHAHA!
Now, we certainly cannot forget poor old Phil Atken. Here was a guy who nobody thought could compete with the “upper class” lets just say, and he managed to beat even the likes of you to become Champion and what did you do again Sally? You took a hiatus that's right. Do you see what I'm getting at? Whenever you lose and something didn't go your way, you tuck in that “huge clit” and cry off into the sunset. Now here you are complaining that you have a match to regain that honor you lost all because it opens the show. WAAHHHHH!!!!! Or perhaps that's just your would be partner who I will get to in a minute. My point is Sally, is that you HAVE no honor. You have no respect for this sport or this business or even this company for that matter.
No respect at all like the late great Rodney Dangerfield, “WHHOAAA when I was first born, the doctor slapped MY MOTHAH', now that was rough.” You spit in the face of every competitor that ever stepped foot in that ring representing the greatest organization ever called Action Packed Wrestling. You dare call yourself a former champion on MY show? When times got tough, I didn't turn tale and run like a bitch. I stood my ground. When we took our 100th career loss to you, we didn't whine and threaten to quit. Knuckles celebrated like the douche he is HEHEHAHAHAHA! We made lemonade out of lemons. And now here we are going face to face for the SECOND time ever. Nothing would please us more than to avenge the loss you gave us. One thing I gotta' ask though. What do you have against Jason anyways?
Are you made he took away the World Heavyweight Championship from you? Are you mad that he kept you from becoming Tag Champions? He's beaten you on every occasion that involved a title but when you beat him FINALLY in a non title match that meant nothing, THAT is when it really matters? When nothing but pride is on the line? I think Kash took the pride out of you not once but twice and you never truly recovered from it. You couldn't get it done and instead of owning up to it, you put forth a tough front to make yourself look like anything but in inconsistent waste of womanhood. Just admit it Sally, you're not as good as you once was and we will take great pride in proving that one more time.
Then we have your great tag team partner Aubrey J. Parker. Hi Aubs. Hey Aubs. Hey Aubs. Hey Aubs. Hey Aubs.......see how fucking annoying that is? We wouldn't waste our time coming up with an unoriginal nickname for you so why would you do that to us? Or maybe you're too busy texting shorthand to also give a shit about APW, Asylum or the fans. The supposed FUTURE of APW was riding high when you won Test For The Best. Well done Aubrey. Not exactly an easy feat to accomplish only to lose to Terry Marvin when you finally earned your shot. And now you complain that you have an opening match on Asylum? Who the fuck are you? You are a failed contender just like the rest of us. You think you were the only person to lose to Terry? That guy has been riding high for over a year and you think it was YOUR destiny to beat him? Talk about selfish.
Where were you when Asylum had a dictator ruining what you worked hard for? Where were you when YOUR way of life was threatened but Stefan Raab? You were busy texting naked pictures of yourself to weirdos on craigslist or something. You can't save the world by sitting on your couch Aubrey so if you wanna' make a change, then get up off your lazy ass and do something about it. No? You'd rather sit there and text with your butt buddy Logan Alexander huh? Where is he by the way? Jerking off to old matches he had involving Jair Hopkins I bet.
You both fought and ruled APW for your own personal greed rather than for the bigger picture. I didn;t see Sally Talfourd fighting for the right to run Asylum. I didn't see Aubrey J. Parker trying to make Asylum a better place when the time called for it. It was us who bled for this company. It was us who fought to restore order where it belonged. Now look at us. Out of the four of us, I am the only person that's currently champion. Ironic ain't it? You're right though ladies, I certainly am riding high right now. I won back control over Asylum from that pompous prick Raab and finally became Suicidal Champ.
There really are no underdogs in this match ladies. We've all fought hard and ended up champion at some point. The problem is that you both think you deserve something for having a name. Who gives a shit? It's not about the name you made for yourself but what you do with it. Do you really believe that crying like bitches will make you look good? Talk about embarrassing APW. As usual though, we will step up and save APW, protect Asylum from the likes of selfish retards like you. From people who never though of anybody but themselves instead of taking care of the business that treated them so well. No, Knuckles ISN'T here but this Sunday, he lets loose the Reaver and I will personally take pleasure in hurting the reputations that either of you have left. Believe us when we say that. Believe that we will gladly die defending the house that Kash-n-Knuckles built.
The echoes of laughter fill the air as the scene fades.
