Post by Link on Oct 27, 2008 20:55:07 GMT -4
Three thousand feet above ground a plane travels at approx. 550miles per hour headed towards Japan. On board there are dozens of tourists eagerly awaiting to enjoy and learn about a new lifestyle and experience. Many more are tourists returning home from their adventures outside of Japan. One passenger in particular isn’t onboard for business meetings, to see relatives or to vacation in a foreign land. One passenger aboard flight 815 is here to fight. He is ready to go to Japan to fight his way into power and control. He is there to win the APW World Heavyweight Championship. He is the man has put himself at arm’s length from the rest of the roster, claiming to not care about friends or alliances but to work. He is Link.
Link sits back in his seat with his headphones in his ear. He wears a casual grey suit with a button up grey shirt. He has a large ring on his right ring finger that he plays with as he nods his head to his music. A flight attendant interrupts him with a worried look on her face. She is young, soft skin, and of Japanese origin.
Link sits back in his seat with his headphones in his ear. He wears a casual grey suit with a button up grey shirt. He has a large ring on his right ring finger that he plays with as he nods his head to his music. A flight attendant interrupts him with a worried look on her face. She is young, soft skin, and of Japanese origin.
Flight Attendant: So sorry, Mr. Wink but I believe you should here this.
Link: No problem, and it’s just Link.
FA: Ah, like defender of Hyule!
Link: That seems to be the running joke. But I assure you it has no connection. What’s up sugar?
FA: Well we got an urgent message from you from officials with your company, the ACW.
Link: That’s APW, but okay whats been said.
FA: Here, read this.
Link takes a printout from the Flight attendant and reads to himself. His face gets red.
Link: Are you freaking kidding me?!
Link throws the headphones down and stands up. He shoves past the flight attendant and begins to walk up and down the aisles. He scans rows and rows of people reading, watching movies, sleeping, discretely pleasuring their seat partner, and practicing Japanese. He finally finds a young boy with a video camera.
Link: Hey kid, can I borrow that video camera? I really need to address something and I don’t have a lot of time left.
Kid: Why the hell should I help you? I hate you. I know who you are.
The kid turns to face Link and reveals the Twister shirt he is wearing.
Kid: I won tickets to go see you get your ass kicked and Twister retain his title. Why the hell would I want to help you with anything.
Link: Because if you don’t I’ll throw you out of this damn plane. And then after I kick Twisters ass, I’ll find you, and piss on your remains as I stroke my title.
*bing* The sound of the record button is heard as the kids raises his camera to face Link. Next to the kids is an open seat that Link now occupies. He pulls down the tray table and places a lighter and a cigarette on top.
Link: Apparently, some people have been talking shit, and I can’t let that slide. I only have until this plane lands to produce something and get it straight to APW officials. This unfortunately means that the awesome plane I had for Japan just might have to take a rain check. I’ll give you a hint, it involved a greased up Link, dozens of Geishas and a few pounds of rice and several gallons of Sake. Anyway, I digress. It has come to my attention that Sabur has a new passion. In my last opus we discussed Sabur’s grossingly close association with Jan Brady, because of his jealousy and secret love for Twister, well folks things have changed! While he still displays these tendencies it has come to my attention that Sabur wants to have sex with me. While I would never degrade homosexuality…among women and while I’d never openly degrade homosexuality among men, that have more power than me, I do have to stop this before it gets out of hand. Mr. Sabur. I will not have sex with you. I do NOT want to imagine that I am in a pornographic X-rated movie with you. I mean, that’s just gross. We are close to competing within a steel structure where we will be stripped down and oiled up and you bring in a porn analogy?! What are you trying to do? Is this some sort of psychological warfare you have developed? I quote “So the reality is Link...think of it as a porno...I'm the film star, and your just the fluffier.” He wants me to fluff him. OR maybe he wants me to sit back and watch while he as sex with all the other competitors in the Chamber match. I didn’t think much of it, but he does hang out with someone he calls Lil’ Dicks. I don’t want to become his big Dick. Anyway, that shit is gross, and now you’ve made this match personal.
Kid: Twisters gonna blow his ass away!
Link: Wait…Twisters down with that too? Look I’m not meaning for this to be filled with innuendos, and poking fun at men on men action, because that’s not my point. I’m making this video so that you all understand my position….or lack there of. I want to understand how things work in APW, after all I will be your World Champion this time next week. Twister, I heard about your night out on the town. That was something else wasn’t it. You ran into me in Japan, before I even arrived. How did you do that? So you must have either dreamed the entire sequence, which says loads about what you think about before bed, or you hired someone to be me, which says loads about how you spend your disposable income. Twister, I don’t hate you. I hate Dr. Phate, I hate Michael Lively, and I hate a few people you don’t know but the fact is you just don’t seem to be that capable. I don’t think you know what to do with yourself. I think that this Elimination Chamber was the best thing that could happen to you. You want my advice? I say after you lose this match, which you will, you bow out gracefully and retire. This is the biggest match you will ever be in. Why? Because I am in this match. Because your participation is only 1/6 of it all. Your nickname Twister is more indicative of your sloppy in ring prowess, or your gassy tendencies not your ability to lay waste everything in your path.
Kid: Take it back man! Twister is the World Heavyweigh…
Link punches the kid in his face and the kid drops the camera as blood squirts out of his mouth. Link picks up the camera and finishes the filming himself.
Link: Matthew, because at this point I refuse to refer to you as a doctor. I expected to hear something else from you. Maybe the corn flakes affected your system. Or maybe you are off pretending to have a drinking problem. I don’t care what the hell you are doing, because I know what you won’t be doing at One Night in Hell. You won’t be beating me, you won’t be crowned the new APW Champion. You were much more likable and creative when you were paired up with John Green. Maybe you should just stick to that feud. It seemed to suit you.
Link: Spirit. Look baby, I’m going to need you to listen up. Don’t overexert yourself in the match. You see I have this new tradition where I like to have nasty wild sex with the freakiest person I can find and honestly, you baby are the cream of the crop. Or maybe you will just be wearing crea..
Flight Attendant: Excuse me, but some people are complaining about your level of noise and your profanity.
Link: Hmm. Hold on.
Fades
Link: Aw that was nice. Yes, I just fucked the flight attendant in the airplane bathroom. What I’m sorry. I’d never done that before, and I’m really excited about winning that title! I mean, I can’t believe how emotional I was yesterday. I realized I am really going into this with zero competition. I mean, the biggest threat to me in this match is probably Level- One. You greedy bastard Level One. I never trusted your ass, but I can sure as hell say I’ve respected it. I’ve got nothing against you, we’ve never butted heads at EWC and there is no reason why we need to squabble here. But I swear to you L1 that if you fuck with me I will make your life a living hell. If you as so much joke about screwing me out of my championship you will be a permanent referee. You know more than anyone here what I am capable of. I haven’t even begun to unleash the wrath that I can bring down on these sheep. Be a pal Level One and do the right thing. APW Champion Link and his friend Level-One shock the world at One Night IN Hell. How does that sound like for a headline? Let’s make it happen. Fuck Force, Fuck RI, Fuck the EWC. It’s you and me and its APW. I don’t need to hear anything from you but three words. One, Two, Three. Don’t disappoint me Level.
Link: OH yeah, JR is in this match. He sucks. Go fuck yourself.
Link leans back and smokes a cigarette. In the background someone yells “you can’t smoke that in here”. Ignoring him Link sets the camera on the tray table facing up at him he just leans forward and smiles behind his hand as takes a drag at his cigarette.
