Clumsy

[T-Marv]

I’ll be waving my hand
Watching you drown
Watching you scream
No one’s around

And maybe you should sleep
And maybe you just need
a friend
As clumsy as you’ve been, there’s no one laughing.
You will be safe in here. You will be safe in…

A million things wondered through his mind as he walked through his dark and silent house. The quiet in the shadows was screaming at him in ear piercing tones. He was stuck with his thoughts, the same thoughts that felt like a freight train running through his head. His mind had been racing for days, going through every little thing that’s happened in the past couple months, everything that’s stood out as weird, as suspicious. He’d been ignoring them for so long, but like a festering pit of boiling sludge constantly heating and rising to the point of eruption… they would no longer be neglected.

The fact that APW had booked him for his 4th title match in a row, the third time on Asylum, was no longer of importance to him. He was numb to that fact, unwavered by the constant ass rape that had been forced onto him by the company that he helped make the number one wrestling company in the world! That meant nothing to him anymore… he was over it and had moved on to things more important, things deeper, things more meaningful.

His opponent however, had weighed heavily in his mind, and had been doing so for six weeks time. Aubrey J. Parker. The Test for the Best winner who had taken him all the way to his very limit at Shockwave, but couldn’t quite get the job done. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this time… she would be back with a vengeance. She’s obsessed, consumed by the Undisputed Title. This time, she’ll give up everything she has, every bit of persona that was AJP will be gone all for the chance to hold that leather and gold in her hand. It will consume her.

If it hasn’t already.

Terry continues pacing around the house wondering what happened to the AJP that joined the Sindicate, if she was still out there somewhere. Terry knew she wasn’t bat shit crazy… well, not in the way that she wanted everybody to believe anyways. That was an act, he couldn’t prove it, but deep down he knew it was an act. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t off her damn rocker. There’s more than one way to be criminally insane, and creating a false persona like that isn’t fucking normal. AJP was missing a few marbles, that much was certain. She could pretend to be crazier, but she could NEVER pretend to be normal.

This match will not be easy for him… not that they ever are. He didn’t mean physically, he meant mentally. AJP has spent the last 3 months lying to him, and he’s just let her wondering if eventually she’d give up this childish behavior and act like a fucking adult for once. None of this was necessary, Terry though, but at the same time, he’d been just as guilty, playing along like everything was just fine. He ignored the truth right in front of his eyes, somehow thinking that would make everything so much better.

But he can’t ignore it anymore.

Aubrey J. Parker was not his friend. She was a vicious monster more diabolical than he dreamed, more deadly than he imagined, and more manipulative than even he’d been at his absolute worse. He thought somehow he could save her, that somehow he could turn her life around. But she was lost… lost to him and lost to reality. Soon, everyone close to her would see it too… those who haven’t abandoned her already that is.

The Unforgivin… It all makes sense now. “Pay Up Parker” had absolutely nothing to do with the attack on Logan… it had to do with the absolute destruction they tried to impart on Terry after Test for the Best. THAT was Aubrey’s doing… her contingency plan. Terry had no proof, but knew this beyond a shadow of a doubt. Aubrey was willing to kill him in order to secure this title.

The worst part about it though, is Terry wasn’t even sure he was mad at her. He was more saddened than anything, watching the thirst for Gold turn her into Golem, questing after her precious to the point that she let her insides decay to a point of non recognition.

But Terry knew now what he had to do.

“Something wrong Baby?”

The calm and soothing voice of his new bride nearly startled him to death. He realized that his fists were clenched so tight that blood had begun to trickle out from where he dug in with his nails. He snaps back to reality and tries to hide his frustrations with a smile.

“Of course not sweetheart. Just couldn’t sleep is all.”

She smiles. He’s lying to her, and she knows it, but doesn’t care. She knows what’s on his brain. She also knows that it’s something he has to deal with himself so she doesn’t push.

“Well, why don’t you come try? Bed’s lonely without you and I’m freezing. Come warm me up?”

Terry can’t help but smile at her outstretched hand. He puts his in hers and nods with a small chuckle.

“It’s a tough job, but somebody has to do it!”

For now, he’ll let all his unplesent thoughts filter off into the atmosphere. Right now, there’s something more important than Aubrey Parker and her greedy pilgrimage that well send her strait to the depths of hell. There’s something in his heart and on his mind that washes her dark and empty desires down the drain, putting them off for another time.

His Family… something that means more to him than APW, more than wrestling, more than the Undisputed Championship. Something that will still be there if he loses Sunday.

For now… AJP could fuck off!

---

”Here we are again! Guess the world didn’t get enough of the New Sindicate imploding at Shockwave, they had to see it live on Television!

But you know what? FUCK THE NEW SINDICATE!

As far as I’m concerned, that failure of an experiment is gone by the wayside. Call it a moment of clarity, but suddenly everything that Level One said before Test for the Best is right there as bright as could possibly be. But being the stubborn, know it all entity that I am, I didn’t listen. And now I’m stuck with an ungrateful bitch nipping at my heels!

Aww… did I hurt your feelings Aubrey?

TOO FUCKING BAD!

I’m sick and tired of playing these games Aubrey, pretending that we’re the best of friends while you treat me like a whipping boy and I just sit here and take it smiling the whole time! We aren’t friends. We could have been, best of friends and I would have pulled you high up to the sky and made you a fucking star. But you were impatient… you couldn’t settle for being the best ever, you had to be the best right now!

At Shockwave, you did everything in your power to unseat me. You attacked me from behind, tried to break my neck, tried to decapitate me, EVERYTHING. You pushed and pushed and pushed… and in the end Aubrey, you weren’t ready. And now, now you’ll never be ready, cause there’s no way in hell I’m going to let you get this title!

See, I may have no love for APW at the moment, but I owe this company EVERYTHING. They revitalized my career and made it possible for me to be known around the world as the GREATEST OF ALL TIME! So I’m not going to let some spoiled little brat come in and unravel everything I’ve built!

Let’s break down what really happened shall we? You thought you could get close to me, slide the knife in my back and I’d just roll over and die. You think you had this masterful plan that would succeed where dozens of other competitors have tried and failed. You are not original Aubrey! You are not a pioneer in warfare tactics, you’ve simply repeated the same mistakes others have made over and over and over again, but your arrogance and ignorance allowed you to think that this time it’d work because you’re special…

Except nothing you did worked. You’re not special Aubrey. You’re just another extremely good wrestler who in the end will go down in the history books as just some chick who made some waves but could never quite rise to that ultimate occasion. There’s a thousand others out there that are EXACTLY like you that are AJP rip offs, or AJP originals.

And there it is!

Finally we’ve come to the real issue, to the reason you’re trying so hard. You don’t stand out Aubrey…just another plain Jane with a pretty face and more ambition than you could possibly know what to do with. And that drives you absolutely crazy. For all the times you go on twitter, or you speak out in public about how you just wanna be yourself and everyone else can fuck off… that’s the EXACT OPPOSITE of the aura and vibe that you actually give off. You go out of your way to be noticed, whether it’s loved or hated, because you don’t wanna just be the girl in the corner of the dance watching all the other kids have fun. You want to be the prom queen in the center captivating all the audience’s attention. You want to be the superstar. You want to be the focal point.

And so, you try too hard. You force things that would happen naturally to speed up and thus they conclude with messy results. There was NO reason to take out Logan the way you did. There was no reason to have the handicapped matches that you did. It’s a cry for attention, a pathetic, desperate scream to the world to “LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT AJP! LOVE ME! ADORE ME!” Quite frankly, the wrestling world is sick and tired of it, of you Aubrey. They’ve washed their hands of your condescending ass and they’re ready to move on to the next big thing… or in my case, the current big thing.

You, Aubrey, are the queen of Getting inside somebody’s head, weasling your way in there and convincing them that they should love you, that you should be their everything. You did it to me AJP, in expert fashion. You curled up to me, convinced me that you and I could take on everything together, that we could be the group that brought the world to its knees. And for a while it worked.

I wanted to help you Aubrey, to see you succeed. In a very odd mentorish way, I loved you Aubrey. Loved you so much that I ordered Logan to go to the ring at TEST FOR THE BEST and help you win that match. That’s right… I gave that order just like you said. I wanted to see you smile, to see you with that crown on your head and to show the entire world the person that I THOUGHT you were.

And deep down inside, I knew… I KNEW that you could never do it yourself!

At the end of the day, Aubrey, you will always depend on something or somebody to go that extra mile, to push you that extra step, to carry you when your legs stop working. You’re not a finisher Aubrey. You’re a big talker! You have lofty plans. You have great strategies. But at the end of the day, whenever you try to take that last step over the finish line, you stumble and fall. Maybe it’s because you’re afraid of success, afraid that once you achieve your dreams and goals that you’ll have nothing else to strive for.

Or Maybe, you’re just not GOOD enough Aubrey.

I guess this week at Asylum, we’ll find out. We’ll find out just how good you are when you’re all alone. Logan wants nothing to do with you. Your family has forsaken you. Talon has been slowly drifting away from you, tired of being your emotional punching bag. Hell, even your newfound friends the Unforgiven are tired of being yanked around. So this week when you step into the main event and try once again to STEAL my Undisputed Title away from the man who’s held it for over 13 months, you’ll be doing it with nobody at your side! You’ll step in that ring with the man who’s defeated every single person that’s been put in front of him and has done it without discrimination. And when you do, I promise it’ll be time to “PAY UP PARKER!”

This is it Aubrey… your last chance to prove to me, to prove to the world that you are EVERYTHING that you say. Because once we step inside that unforgiving structure at One Night in Hell, all bets are off… You’ll have 5 other people ready to cave your head in, cause there’s not a soul in this company who gives a DAMN about you anymore. NOBODY! And we’ll all do everything in our power to put you out of your fucking misery. So this… this is all you have Aubrey… EVERYTHING comes down to tomorrow night one on one with the GREATEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO WRESTLING!

Will you finally get over yourself long enough to reach out and grab the top rung of that ladder and pull yourself to the top?

OR

Will you once again get in your own way, trip over your own feet, and clumsily fade off into obscurity forever inspiring fans around the world to ask one all important question. “Whatever happened to Aubrey J. Parker?”

Tomorrow night, I’ll do what I’ve done since August 26th 2013… WHATEVER IT TAKES to keep that title around my waist. I’ve turned away legends. I’ve turned away monsters. I’ve turned away Champions. Hell, I’ve even turned away you.

But I’m not facing that same Aubrey as Shockwave. Oh no, tomorrow night, I’m facing a desperate shell of a woman who’s been playing an insane person so long that she’s begun to believe it.

This week, I will take that last string of sanity and sever it when I once again put you down like the rabid dog that you are.

This is revenge AJP. For caving my head in. For hiring two losers to break my back. For BREAKING MY FUCKING HEART!

And now, it’s time for me to break yours.

Tomorrow night… you walk away empty handed and I go on to finish my APW career as the Undisputed Champion….

ITS SHOWTIME!

And I’ll be waving my hand
Watching you drown
Watching you scream
Quiet or Loud