Post by B.A. Styles on Oct 26, 2013 22:36:06 GMT -4
act 1
Word count (discounting codes and count): 3999
“In a career full of adventures there is little time to be free. So it is best to take what little moments you have and make each one of them a moment worth dying for so that you enjoy the little things, for life is too short to waste. After all…while all things have an end, life included…no one truly knows when their clock will stop.”
Those words were spoken as the camera began to record this promo. The location is unknown but we are clearly in the middle of some popular area, since crowds of people are easily coming pass the recording device as it is solely focused on the centre of this square for it is vastly empty apart from one person…Robina Hood. In fourteen days the purple haired dynamo will be competing in two things: APW’s first all-female fatal four way match and APW’s first match under bra & panties related stipulation. No matter how much history this match will write, only one thing is on the nineteen year old’s mind…winning back the North American Championship. Who does she need to beat in this match? The former Suicidal Champion Kaylyn James Evans…Shione Ōshima, a Japanese megastar that has previously defeated the young Brit…and the person who won the North American Championship from Robina in the first place…Amy Zing.
Yet if expressions go for anything, then Miss Hood clearly believes she can overcome these almost impossible odds…why are these odds impossible? Because everyone in this match has a reason to take out the nineteen year old. Amy’s rivalry with Robina is well documented while Hood personally blames Shione’s distraction for her failure to keep the North American Championship away from Amy. But what about KJE? Not only did Robina Hood unintentionally cost her the Tag Team Championships at Rasslemania Nine but also cost her their tag team match a few weeks ago.
“So that is why I am in Paris, to somehow find enjoyment in this land of frogs. Yet if any of you viewers think I’m going to do what those three commoners would do, in going up the Eiffel Tower, than you’ve mistaken me for the birdbrained peasants I plan on beating in two Sundays time. So where am I in Paris? In front of the only French thing that is above the word mediocre…Notre Dam.”
The moment those last two word departed from her lips Miss Hood took a diagonal step back in a fashion to reveal the object behind her. The camera immediately zoomed out as well to reveal the cathedral behind her is indeed none other than Notre Dam…but why is she shooting a promo here?
“Why am I here instead of getting ready to travel, or even meet back up with my girlfriend in American? Because a certain book took my interest…the Hunchback of Notre Dam. A beautiful tragedy that almost had me weeping…a story of who is the monster and who is the man. After reading this book a coupe of times, memorising certain chapters word for word, a thought came into my head. A thought that manifested itself into an idea, a brilliant idea, an idea for the upcoming scene. The scene itself? A story. A story that can only be spoken of at One Night In Hell…the story of who is the monster and who are the women.”
She spoke so clear and simple yet potentially and deviously shady, as if narrating a story without giving away any big spoilers.
“But who are the characters in this book? The first of whom is a woman who is strong in her beliefs of action speak louder than words. She would rather dive headfirst through the window to save a family from a burning house instead of plan out a safe and secure method with those around her. In the eyes of some she is the bravest of the brave yet could this bravery be nothing more than pure stupidity. The kind of stupidity that only mentally constipated people have…but hey, she is probably the most popular person in this entire story. So popular in fact that people happily turn a blind eye towards all of her failures, which have been many ever since she made her Action Packed Wrestling debut in this event last year. But for those who don’t seem to remember, allow me to remind you about just a few of these failures.
She once waged war against some weird black guy, she even made him so paranoid that he brought his own uncle to console him…only for this hero to mercilessly attack him like some rabid animal thirsting for blood. Yet in the end, in the last three one-on-one confrontations she had with him, she choked. And what happened when thought a man for a shot at his Championship? She choked. She continuously choke. Every single time she gets given the ball she would drop it. Be it against Aubrey Parker or Young Mannie. So in the end she found a hotshot newcomer, grabbed her and clung over her in an attempt to not only be important…but to also use her for your own benefits. Like when the rookie cost me the North American Championship, thus pulling the trigger and starting this interpersonal war. This person’s name? None other than Amy Zing.”
Her narrative voice slowly caved away to a more cocky kind of tone as she introduced the first of these other ‘characters’ in her story about ‘who is the monster and who are the women.’ The way Robina was moving her hands made it look like she is actually preaching out to the people who are walking pass, or at least advertising One Night In Hell to those that Miss Hood look down upon.
“But who could this other woman be? Who could be the hotshot that meddled in my business when she shouldn’t have been there in the first place? Well, in just two weeks, One Night In Night is going to take place at this person homeland of Japan…you know, the place that is probably going to have a nuclear explosion before we even get there. But what else is there to say about this second character, which will be nothing more than a background character…hell I think the words support act might be too much for this poorly confused woman. Why is this person horribly confused? I’ll speak of the main reason later but I’ll tell you a lesser reason, even though it might be important in the eyes of this woman. She claim to have as high a level of respect as her friend Amy yet her blood is stained by the tree this petal fell from.
Her tree is full of merciless murders in suits, drug dealers in uniforms and barbaric rapists. Perhaps this woman could be a product of rape. Hell, judging by her looks alone, she was a bastard child since the rapist through the woman he had intercourse with was too ugly to put a ring on. I will admit that this person has been on high tide of momentum, a crashing wave of momentum so high that all that stand before it falls before it. But while people see her as extreme and daring, I see her as an irresponsible ignoramus. Sure she might have a decent enough reason to be in this play I’ve written but instead of gaining the gift of Championship glory…she is going to have to accept being in my shadow. But hey she should be use to being in the shadow of others, since she has been by Amy’s side since the moment she showed up here. Oh my apologies, I almost began to ramble on, take this rather minor gift as a showing of my apologies. This gift is none other than the name of this ‘hotshot’ character…Shione Ōshima.”
The Forest-Dweller continued to sound so arrogantly confident as she continued to talk, this time introducing the bound to be hometown favourite Shione. Yet this time the Iron Maiden chose to sound more and more rotten as she claimed that Ōshima is a daughter of an ugly whore. This rotteness showed as some of these French people gave the Englishwoman some nasty scowls as they walked pass.
“But while that rookie has just enough credibility to partake in my scene of retribution, this last character doesn’t have any claim to fame…well at least any that makes her relevant enough for this beautiful performance I have planned. Perhaps Jeff had her mouth by his e-”
This other character must be KJE, since she is the only person Robina hasn’t mentioned yet. However she immediately stopped speaking before finishing off the word ‘ear.’
“While I think the term might be mouth by his ear…I honestly think that this woman mouth was somewhere else, a rather private somewhere else…catch my drift?”
That one comment actually made the local chuckle yet they quickly stopped and looked away, clearly the French are still bitter towards the vastly superior English as Miss Hood refuse to let that distract her.
“Oh sure this woman was a Suicidal Champion over at Asylum. But there is a few problems with that: one, Asylum is a show only good enough for C plus talents. Two, Overdrive is where the real megastars are and I don’t think she has done anything extraordinary since coming over to the A-show. And three…she lose her Title to, out of all people, Stefan Raab. Seriously, that guy is old enough to be my father while his win-loss record is worst than Mister Dangerous! Yet not only did she lose her Championship to him, but she also lost to him on the show beforehand. If anything this person is thinking that, due to her career failing rather badly on Asylum she is foolish enough to believe that her luck would change on a different show.
Well, unfortunately for that fossilised wench, not only is her role in this magnificent play is so irrelevant that she can’t possibly ruin my master class performance…but also she perhaps is better off as the first victim of the ‘monster’ in this story. So yeah she is one of the women, the vain one who believes that beauty is only skin-deep and is also mentally constipated enough to believe everything should be handed to her on a silver-fucking-platter. Who is this scummy piece of shit who would fit in with these French imbeciles? The ‘Posh’ wannabe Kaylyn James Evans. Hell, since I’m feeling nice, I’ll give all you a little spoiler…heck, I’ll even say it very slowly since everyone knows that Asian are the thickest people on this planet. Not only will Kaylyn fail to survive this story…she won’t be able to leave the arena without an ambulance.”
Her tone changed to a more cheeky kind as she spoke out the introduction to this final character, clearly having no respect for this certain opponent. She however dipped her voice into a darker tone as she gave the ‘Posh wannabe’ a ‘little spoiler’ about how ‘she won’t be able to leave the arena without an ambulance’ before suddenly smiling like an innocent five year old.
“Hm, I did give you people an adequate spoiler, one that none of you filthy Asians deserve. But I guess it won’t hurt to tell you the plot in its simplest of forms…since you all will show up anyway because, like it or not, not only do all you nitwits secretly adore me…I am the best role model for all your children. Since never once have I given up on regaining the Title that I shouldn’t have ever lost in the first place, even though I’ve only won one match coming to Overdrive a couple of months ago. But before I start…let’s go somewhere else. After all, I’ve had enough of these filthy peasants dirtying up my rather exquisite promo.”
The ‘filthy peasants’ comment definitely brought more scowls upon every member of the crowd’s face yet, while saying her words, the Iron Maiden pulled a red rose out of the dress she is wearing, which happen to assembles Esmeralda’s in Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dam film. The moment she finished her words Robina dropped the rose. Like expected an incredibly bright light suddenly shot out when the rose touched the floor. The camera regained focused and immediately looked at the floor…only to be surprised. There isn’t brick flooring, that would be expected in Hood’s Theatre of the Deranged, but instead a floor made from wooden blocks. The camera slowly gazed up to spot one Robina Hood standing there, with her arms spread and her head looking up towards the ceiling.
“You’ve expected my Theatre didn’t you? Well tough, I thought it would be cooler to be inside Notre Dam itself.”
While asking her question the female tilted her head down to look at the camera, revealing her smug grin to the camera lens. After mentioning where they are the camera tried to look at the breath-taking atmosphere but suddenly stopped it when the Emo Princess began to speak up again.
“It’s so beautiful. The smoothness of wooden floors, the gargoyles on the ledges and these wonderful bells. These glorious bells. These magnificent bells. Bells, bells, bells, they are wonderful, especially the Emmanuel. Notre Dam itself is so majestic in it’s unlimited beauty, both in and out of fiction. This place is so wonderful for a person like me, don’t you think so Amy?”
While saying what things are beautiful, in her revealing red military-styled dress, Robina rushed off to point out every single object she mentioned. The camera was barely able to keep up with the fast pacing Brit but once the word ‘bells’ left her lips the young woman stood still and looked up towards the bells about them before suddenly starting to spin around. Faster and faster the enthusiastic youngster goes as she almost puts herself in a bell related trance but suddenly stopping and smiled towards the camera before uttering the word ‘Amy.’
“This beauty doesn’t belong to you, Amy, so feel grateful for this view. For this will be the last beautiful thing you’ll see until we both enter the Oblivion Gate for just one night before only one of us leaves with the prize. While I am still a little sore about how you’ve stolen my belt from me, I have learnt to forgive you for I would have done the same exact thing…yet, at this very moment, I want to crush you. I want break you. I want to make you close to dead as you were back in Chile. Sure you got some momentum on your side while I’ve only got one victory to my name, by easily destroying the best Japan had to offer, in the past two months. But have you ever thought of Dante’s Inferno? A typical guy - no - a typical loser, with zero support and no allies, enters hell for just one night, just for his one prize, and he obliterated every single demon in his path. Lust, gluttony, greed, anger, fraud, envy and treachery were all the things Dante stormed through for his one prize. And like Dante, I’ll exclude all these sins from my mind so I can beat you Amy and leave hell as the new North American Champion.
Heh, I’ve just realised something: to beat you in this match…I don’t need to beat you specifically; there are two others I could demolish to take the North American Championship away from you. That is the blessing of a fatal four way as well as a curse for I don’t need to specifically lose to lose to you………savvy? You know what? It’s actually quite funny how neither of us have won an everyone for him/herself kind of match that both of us are in. Like the ladder match at Rasslemania Nine or even the Overdrive Championship Scramble for a recent example. But now, while the heavens forsake the possibility of us winning such a match, it looks like Hades himself has finally given us a chance to undo that wrong. But Amy you ain’t going to be the one who breaks the rot; I am for you have beaten me time and time, and time again while every-single-time I’ve had to bottle it all up inside of me. And - after week in and week out of constantly storing it all in, like a Seedot using a move called Bide - finally, for just one night only, I get to unleash all my emotions like an erupting volcano and devour not only your Championship reign and you future, but also the hopes, dreams and innocence of every child that wants you to succeed in boiling hot lava.”
From chanting bells to suddenly making herself sound superior, Robina is definitely worthy of the nickname Deranged Archer as she sounded wackier and wackier with each word that left her lips. From her reference to the Dante’s Inferno poem to a Pokemon reference, the young Brit sounds completely insane, especially when moving onto how her emotions is like an ‘erupting volcano.’
“Don’t worry, Zinger Girl, while the majority of my rage will be vented towards you…my lava shall be divided for there is a second person I want to melt away. Shione Ōshima, do you know how hot freshly erupted lava is? Oh how foolish of me, you’re Japanese, aren’t you? It should be custom for your people to be use to be shaken in the morning and burned in the evening. Hehe, all jokes aside I think I’ve made it really clear why I want to rip your guts out. I had nothing against you when you first arrived on the show I plan to conquer in a picturesque fashion, I thought you were impressive in your debut…hell I even thought you might have been worth taking under my wing. But then all that changes when you stuck your filthy mug where it did not belong and ruin my month of mental serenity. You could make all the excuses in the book but it doesn’t change the fact that you got in my business and screwed me over…so when we all enter the Oblivion Gate, do not be surprised if you find yourself beheaded by yours - motherfucking - truly.
Oh what’s that Zilla-chan? You think you can beat me, you actually think that you’re better than me? Newsflash sunshine: you, everything about you and everything you’ll ever achieve is nothing compared to me. I’ve spent the better part of this year in probably the rivalry of this year and managed to finish it with an emphatic, and well deserved, victory. Hell, when I debuted on Overdrive I debuted in the very main event…and that is a feat that neither you, Kaylyn James Evans nor Amy Zing herself could ever achieve. Heh, you dare call yourself Princess Pain, huh?” *giggle* “If you’re so content with keeping with that false claim then prepare yourself for in just fourteen days you’ll get to meet the Queen. Why so? Because I’m the Emo Princess and the one thing I’ve learnt as the Emo Princess is that, while it is alright to have some friends…pain isn’t an enemy. Pain doesn’t hurt you. Pain is a friend. Pain smoothes you down. Pain calms you down while everything around you fall apart. Pain massages you in it’s deviously fiery ways. Pain isn’t my enemy…pain is my friend since I was conceived and, in a fortnight, you are going to experience firsthand what this friendship can do to you.”
Zinger Girl, that is never going to stick…is it? Well either way Robina continued to sound quite loony with her words. This however slowly changed to anger yet just before completion…the nineteen year old giggled like a six year old child, completely killing off the image she could possibly be making, before continuing to talk on. Her tone now sounding angelic, a complete juxtaposition compared to her words and one she finished speaking the female sighed lightly before suddenly cover, possibly to indicate that she might have forgotten something.
“Oh dear, I’ve almost forgotten about Kaylyn James Evans…but I ain’t sorry about that because, let’s be honest here, when have the self-proclaimed ‘Perfect Ten’ done anything worth mentioning since failing to capitalise on the perfect opportunity I handed you, on a platter, at Rasslemania. But hey, at least now you’re finally basking in the spotlight for what you do best…being Level-One’s little bitch. Man, while some people look at you right now and maybe say ‘how far has the mighty fallen’ I would simply shrug about it…since, truth be told, you were never mighty. You were never good. You were an absolute waste of Sienna Harrison time and effect. She gave you the nickname of ‘Perfect Ten’ but all you can score is a one out of ten. Heh, that is probably why you dislike me so much…jealousy; you, somebody who have been given chances after chances, was thrown to the side for me, a - back then - eighteen year old with two months experience at most. And you know what made you even more jealous of me Kaylyn? July eighteenth, when I finally beat The Guv’nor for the North American Championship, I proved to the entire world that Sienna was right to give pick me over you for I am better than you…a fact I wouldn’t mind reminding people at One Night In Hell.”
Arrogance…that is all that can be used to described Robina’s voice, tone and body language. Even going as far as claiming a respected member of the roster is jealous of her…how bloody cocky is the English girl?
“But could any of them be the monster of our story? Amy Zing, an honourable girl who is cursed with stupidity? Shione Ōshima, a girl who’s blood is part of the Yakuza family tree? Or Kaylyn James Evans, the little engine that couldn’t? No, the monster cannot possibly be any of them. Monsters aren’t honourable, monsters aren’t related to a bunch of pea brained peasants and a monster is definitely not vain about it’s own appearance. The monster has to be utterly merciless. The monster has to be colder than ice. The monster has to be sicker than a cancer patient. And the monster has to be more destructive than Little Boy itself. That monster…is me.”
Monster is me? Why would the purple haired dynamo give herself the role of the monster? This doesn’t make too much sense…
“In the story of who is the monster and who is the man, the monster dies. That’s such a…dissatisfying ending. This will be where I make my clever adjustment to make this performance a breathtaking masterpiece. Instead of the monster dying, the monster is going to take all three wenches, still them like the prostitutes they are and massacre them in front of my captive audience.”
OH, she put herself in the role of the monster so she could hurt them as viciously as she could possibly ever wanted. A bit sick but at least this ‘scene’ sounds a lot better than the Hunchback of Notre Dam 2 film.
“Now I’ve managed to tell all you nitwit’s a simplified version of the plot…it is now time for you lot wait fourteen days for my grand performance. Until then…goodbye.”
Quite sweet tone she has chosen this time…angelic again, as if oblivious to all that she previously said. What was most surprising about this promo however is that she hasn’t even glanced at the rose, let alone grabbed it. Instead of simply dropping the flower, thus somehow getting the cameraman back to the square, after saying ‘goodbye.’ Instead the purple haired megastar simply turned around and walked off, humming the word ‘bells’ with every step…perhaps she has an obsession with bells? Either way the cameraman sighed in annoyance as he switched off the camera, officially ending this promo in the process.
Those words were spoken as the camera began to record this promo. The location is unknown but we are clearly in the middle of some popular area, since crowds of people are easily coming pass the recording device as it is solely focused on the centre of this square for it is vastly empty apart from one person…Robina Hood. In fourteen days the purple haired dynamo will be competing in two things: APW’s first all-female fatal four way match and APW’s first match under bra & panties related stipulation. No matter how much history this match will write, only one thing is on the nineteen year old’s mind…winning back the North American Championship. Who does she need to beat in this match? The former Suicidal Champion Kaylyn James Evans…Shione Ōshima, a Japanese megastar that has previously defeated the young Brit…and the person who won the North American Championship from Robina in the first place…Amy Zing.
Yet if expressions go for anything, then Miss Hood clearly believes she can overcome these almost impossible odds…why are these odds impossible? Because everyone in this match has a reason to take out the nineteen year old. Amy’s rivalry with Robina is well documented while Hood personally blames Shione’s distraction for her failure to keep the North American Championship away from Amy. But what about KJE? Not only did Robina Hood unintentionally cost her the Tag Team Championships at Rasslemania Nine but also cost her their tag team match a few weeks ago.
“So that is why I am in Paris, to somehow find enjoyment in this land of frogs. Yet if any of you viewers think I’m going to do what those three commoners would do, in going up the Eiffel Tower, than you’ve mistaken me for the birdbrained peasants I plan on beating in two Sundays time. So where am I in Paris? In front of the only French thing that is above the word mediocre…Notre Dam.”
The moment those last two word departed from her lips Miss Hood took a diagonal step back in a fashion to reveal the object behind her. The camera immediately zoomed out as well to reveal the cathedral behind her is indeed none other than Notre Dam…but why is she shooting a promo here?
“Why am I here instead of getting ready to travel, or even meet back up with my girlfriend in American? Because a certain book took my interest…the Hunchback of Notre Dam. A beautiful tragedy that almost had me weeping…a story of who is the monster and who is the man. After reading this book a coupe of times, memorising certain chapters word for word, a thought came into my head. A thought that manifested itself into an idea, a brilliant idea, an idea for the upcoming scene. The scene itself? A story. A story that can only be spoken of at One Night In Hell…the story of who is the monster and who are the women.”
She spoke so clear and simple yet potentially and deviously shady, as if narrating a story without giving away any big spoilers.
“But who are the characters in this book? The first of whom is a woman who is strong in her beliefs of action speak louder than words. She would rather dive headfirst through the window to save a family from a burning house instead of plan out a safe and secure method with those around her. In the eyes of some she is the bravest of the brave yet could this bravery be nothing more than pure stupidity. The kind of stupidity that only mentally constipated people have…but hey, she is probably the most popular person in this entire story. So popular in fact that people happily turn a blind eye towards all of her failures, which have been many ever since she made her Action Packed Wrestling debut in this event last year. But for those who don’t seem to remember, allow me to remind you about just a few of these failures.
She once waged war against some weird black guy, she even made him so paranoid that he brought his own uncle to console him…only for this hero to mercilessly attack him like some rabid animal thirsting for blood. Yet in the end, in the last three one-on-one confrontations she had with him, she choked. And what happened when thought a man for a shot at his Championship? She choked. She continuously choke. Every single time she gets given the ball she would drop it. Be it against Aubrey Parker or Young Mannie. So in the end she found a hotshot newcomer, grabbed her and clung over her in an attempt to not only be important…but to also use her for your own benefits. Like when the rookie cost me the North American Championship, thus pulling the trigger and starting this interpersonal war. This person’s name? None other than Amy Zing.”
Her narrative voice slowly caved away to a more cocky kind of tone as she introduced the first of these other ‘characters’ in her story about ‘who is the monster and who are the women.’ The way Robina was moving her hands made it look like she is actually preaching out to the people who are walking pass, or at least advertising One Night In Hell to those that Miss Hood look down upon.
“But who could this other woman be? Who could be the hotshot that meddled in my business when she shouldn’t have been there in the first place? Well, in just two weeks, One Night In Night is going to take place at this person homeland of Japan…you know, the place that is probably going to have a nuclear explosion before we even get there. But what else is there to say about this second character, which will be nothing more than a background character…hell I think the words support act might be too much for this poorly confused woman. Why is this person horribly confused? I’ll speak of the main reason later but I’ll tell you a lesser reason, even though it might be important in the eyes of this woman. She claim to have as high a level of respect as her friend Amy yet her blood is stained by the tree this petal fell from.
Her tree is full of merciless murders in suits, drug dealers in uniforms and barbaric rapists. Perhaps this woman could be a product of rape. Hell, judging by her looks alone, she was a bastard child since the rapist through the woman he had intercourse with was too ugly to put a ring on. I will admit that this person has been on high tide of momentum, a crashing wave of momentum so high that all that stand before it falls before it. But while people see her as extreme and daring, I see her as an irresponsible ignoramus. Sure she might have a decent enough reason to be in this play I’ve written but instead of gaining the gift of Championship glory…she is going to have to accept being in my shadow. But hey she should be use to being in the shadow of others, since she has been by Amy’s side since the moment she showed up here. Oh my apologies, I almost began to ramble on, take this rather minor gift as a showing of my apologies. This gift is none other than the name of this ‘hotshot’ character…Shione Ōshima.”
The Forest-Dweller continued to sound so arrogantly confident as she continued to talk, this time introducing the bound to be hometown favourite Shione. Yet this time the Iron Maiden chose to sound more and more rotten as she claimed that Ōshima is a daughter of an ugly whore. This rotteness showed as some of these French people gave the Englishwoman some nasty scowls as they walked pass.
“But while that rookie has just enough credibility to partake in my scene of retribution, this last character doesn’t have any claim to fame…well at least any that makes her relevant enough for this beautiful performance I have planned. Perhaps Jeff had her mouth by his e-”
This other character must be KJE, since she is the only person Robina hasn’t mentioned yet. However she immediately stopped speaking before finishing off the word ‘ear.’
“While I think the term might be mouth by his ear…I honestly think that this woman mouth was somewhere else, a rather private somewhere else…catch my drift?”
That one comment actually made the local chuckle yet they quickly stopped and looked away, clearly the French are still bitter towards the vastly superior English as Miss Hood refuse to let that distract her.
“Oh sure this woman was a Suicidal Champion over at Asylum. But there is a few problems with that: one, Asylum is a show only good enough for C plus talents. Two, Overdrive is where the real megastars are and I don’t think she has done anything extraordinary since coming over to the A-show. And three…she lose her Title to, out of all people, Stefan Raab. Seriously, that guy is old enough to be my father while his win-loss record is worst than Mister Dangerous! Yet not only did she lose her Championship to him, but she also lost to him on the show beforehand. If anything this person is thinking that, due to her career failing rather badly on Asylum she is foolish enough to believe that her luck would change on a different show.
Well, unfortunately for that fossilised wench, not only is her role in this magnificent play is so irrelevant that she can’t possibly ruin my master class performance…but also she perhaps is better off as the first victim of the ‘monster’ in this story. So yeah she is one of the women, the vain one who believes that beauty is only skin-deep and is also mentally constipated enough to believe everything should be handed to her on a silver-fucking-platter. Who is this scummy piece of shit who would fit in with these French imbeciles? The ‘Posh’ wannabe Kaylyn James Evans. Hell, since I’m feeling nice, I’ll give all you a little spoiler…heck, I’ll even say it very slowly since everyone knows that Asian are the thickest people on this planet. Not only will Kaylyn fail to survive this story…she won’t be able to leave the arena without an ambulance.”
Her tone changed to a more cheeky kind as she spoke out the introduction to this final character, clearly having no respect for this certain opponent. She however dipped her voice into a darker tone as she gave the ‘Posh wannabe’ a ‘little spoiler’ about how ‘she won’t be able to leave the arena without an ambulance’ before suddenly smiling like an innocent five year old.
“Hm, I did give you people an adequate spoiler, one that none of you filthy Asians deserve. But I guess it won’t hurt to tell you the plot in its simplest of forms…since you all will show up anyway because, like it or not, not only do all you nitwits secretly adore me…I am the best role model for all your children. Since never once have I given up on regaining the Title that I shouldn’t have ever lost in the first place, even though I’ve only won one match coming to Overdrive a couple of months ago. But before I start…let’s go somewhere else. After all, I’ve had enough of these filthy peasants dirtying up my rather exquisite promo.”
The ‘filthy peasants’ comment definitely brought more scowls upon every member of the crowd’s face yet, while saying her words, the Iron Maiden pulled a red rose out of the dress she is wearing, which happen to assembles Esmeralda’s in Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dam film. The moment she finished her words Robina dropped the rose. Like expected an incredibly bright light suddenly shot out when the rose touched the floor. The camera regained focused and immediately looked at the floor…only to be surprised. There isn’t brick flooring, that would be expected in Hood’s Theatre of the Deranged, but instead a floor made from wooden blocks. The camera slowly gazed up to spot one Robina Hood standing there, with her arms spread and her head looking up towards the ceiling.
“You’ve expected my Theatre didn’t you? Well tough, I thought it would be cooler to be inside Notre Dam itself.”
While asking her question the female tilted her head down to look at the camera, revealing her smug grin to the camera lens. After mentioning where they are the camera tried to look at the breath-taking atmosphere but suddenly stopped it when the Emo Princess began to speak up again.
“It’s so beautiful. The smoothness of wooden floors, the gargoyles on the ledges and these wonderful bells. These glorious bells. These magnificent bells. Bells, bells, bells, they are wonderful, especially the Emmanuel. Notre Dam itself is so majestic in it’s unlimited beauty, both in and out of fiction. This place is so wonderful for a person like me, don’t you think so Amy?”
While saying what things are beautiful, in her revealing red military-styled dress, Robina rushed off to point out every single object she mentioned. The camera was barely able to keep up with the fast pacing Brit but once the word ‘bells’ left her lips the young woman stood still and looked up towards the bells about them before suddenly starting to spin around. Faster and faster the enthusiastic youngster goes as she almost puts herself in a bell related trance but suddenly stopping and smiled towards the camera before uttering the word ‘Amy.’
“This beauty doesn’t belong to you, Amy, so feel grateful for this view. For this will be the last beautiful thing you’ll see until we both enter the Oblivion Gate for just one night before only one of us leaves with the prize. While I am still a little sore about how you’ve stolen my belt from me, I have learnt to forgive you for I would have done the same exact thing…yet, at this very moment, I want to crush you. I want break you. I want to make you close to dead as you were back in Chile. Sure you got some momentum on your side while I’ve only got one victory to my name, by easily destroying the best Japan had to offer, in the past two months. But have you ever thought of Dante’s Inferno? A typical guy - no - a typical loser, with zero support and no allies, enters hell for just one night, just for his one prize, and he obliterated every single demon in his path. Lust, gluttony, greed, anger, fraud, envy and treachery were all the things Dante stormed through for his one prize. And like Dante, I’ll exclude all these sins from my mind so I can beat you Amy and leave hell as the new North American Champion.
Heh, I’ve just realised something: to beat you in this match…I don’t need to beat you specifically; there are two others I could demolish to take the North American Championship away from you. That is the blessing of a fatal four way as well as a curse for I don’t need to specifically lose to lose to you………savvy? You know what? It’s actually quite funny how neither of us have won an everyone for him/herself kind of match that both of us are in. Like the ladder match at Rasslemania Nine or even the Overdrive Championship Scramble for a recent example. But now, while the heavens forsake the possibility of us winning such a match, it looks like Hades himself has finally given us a chance to undo that wrong. But Amy you ain’t going to be the one who breaks the rot; I am for you have beaten me time and time, and time again while every-single-time I’ve had to bottle it all up inside of me. And - after week in and week out of constantly storing it all in, like a Seedot using a move called Bide - finally, for just one night only, I get to unleash all my emotions like an erupting volcano and devour not only your Championship reign and you future, but also the hopes, dreams and innocence of every child that wants you to succeed in boiling hot lava.”
From chanting bells to suddenly making herself sound superior, Robina is definitely worthy of the nickname Deranged Archer as she sounded wackier and wackier with each word that left her lips. From her reference to the Dante’s Inferno poem to a Pokemon reference, the young Brit sounds completely insane, especially when moving onto how her emotions is like an ‘erupting volcano.’
“Don’t worry, Zinger Girl, while the majority of my rage will be vented towards you…my lava shall be divided for there is a second person I want to melt away. Shione Ōshima, do you know how hot freshly erupted lava is? Oh how foolish of me, you’re Japanese, aren’t you? It should be custom for your people to be use to be shaken in the morning and burned in the evening. Hehe, all jokes aside I think I’ve made it really clear why I want to rip your guts out. I had nothing against you when you first arrived on the show I plan to conquer in a picturesque fashion, I thought you were impressive in your debut…hell I even thought you might have been worth taking under my wing. But then all that changes when you stuck your filthy mug where it did not belong and ruin my month of mental serenity. You could make all the excuses in the book but it doesn’t change the fact that you got in my business and screwed me over…so when we all enter the Oblivion Gate, do not be surprised if you find yourself beheaded by yours - motherfucking - truly.
Oh what’s that Zilla-chan? You think you can beat me, you actually think that you’re better than me? Newsflash sunshine: you, everything about you and everything you’ll ever achieve is nothing compared to me. I’ve spent the better part of this year in probably the rivalry of this year and managed to finish it with an emphatic, and well deserved, victory. Hell, when I debuted on Overdrive I debuted in the very main event…and that is a feat that neither you, Kaylyn James Evans nor Amy Zing herself could ever achieve. Heh, you dare call yourself Princess Pain, huh?” *giggle* “If you’re so content with keeping with that false claim then prepare yourself for in just fourteen days you’ll get to meet the Queen. Why so? Because I’m the Emo Princess and the one thing I’ve learnt as the Emo Princess is that, while it is alright to have some friends…pain isn’t an enemy. Pain doesn’t hurt you. Pain is a friend. Pain smoothes you down. Pain calms you down while everything around you fall apart. Pain massages you in it’s deviously fiery ways. Pain isn’t my enemy…pain is my friend since I was conceived and, in a fortnight, you are going to experience firsthand what this friendship can do to you.”
Zinger Girl, that is never going to stick…is it? Well either way Robina continued to sound quite loony with her words. This however slowly changed to anger yet just before completion…the nineteen year old giggled like a six year old child, completely killing off the image she could possibly be making, before continuing to talk on. Her tone now sounding angelic, a complete juxtaposition compared to her words and one she finished speaking the female sighed lightly before suddenly cover, possibly to indicate that she might have forgotten something.
“Oh dear, I’ve almost forgotten about Kaylyn James Evans…but I ain’t sorry about that because, let’s be honest here, when have the self-proclaimed ‘Perfect Ten’ done anything worth mentioning since failing to capitalise on the perfect opportunity I handed you, on a platter, at Rasslemania. But hey, at least now you’re finally basking in the spotlight for what you do best…being Level-One’s little bitch. Man, while some people look at you right now and maybe say ‘how far has the mighty fallen’ I would simply shrug about it…since, truth be told, you were never mighty. You were never good. You were an absolute waste of Sienna Harrison time and effect. She gave you the nickname of ‘Perfect Ten’ but all you can score is a one out of ten. Heh, that is probably why you dislike me so much…jealousy; you, somebody who have been given chances after chances, was thrown to the side for me, a - back then - eighteen year old with two months experience at most. And you know what made you even more jealous of me Kaylyn? July eighteenth, when I finally beat The Guv’nor for the North American Championship, I proved to the entire world that Sienna was right to give pick me over you for I am better than you…a fact I wouldn’t mind reminding people at One Night In Hell.”
Arrogance…that is all that can be used to described Robina’s voice, tone and body language. Even going as far as claiming a respected member of the roster is jealous of her…how bloody cocky is the English girl?
“But could any of them be the monster of our story? Amy Zing, an honourable girl who is cursed with stupidity? Shione Ōshima, a girl who’s blood is part of the Yakuza family tree? Or Kaylyn James Evans, the little engine that couldn’t? No, the monster cannot possibly be any of them. Monsters aren’t honourable, monsters aren’t related to a bunch of pea brained peasants and a monster is definitely not vain about it’s own appearance. The monster has to be utterly merciless. The monster has to be colder than ice. The monster has to be sicker than a cancer patient. And the monster has to be more destructive than Little Boy itself. That monster…is me.”
Monster is me? Why would the purple haired dynamo give herself the role of the monster? This doesn’t make too much sense…
“In the story of who is the monster and who is the man, the monster dies. That’s such a…dissatisfying ending. This will be where I make my clever adjustment to make this performance a breathtaking masterpiece. Instead of the monster dying, the monster is going to take all three wenches, still them like the prostitutes they are and massacre them in front of my captive audience.”
OH, she put herself in the role of the monster so she could hurt them as viciously as she could possibly ever wanted. A bit sick but at least this ‘scene’ sounds a lot better than the Hunchback of Notre Dam 2 film.
“Now I’ve managed to tell all you nitwit’s a simplified version of the plot…it is now time for you lot wait fourteen days for my grand performance. Until then…goodbye.”
Quite sweet tone she has chosen this time…angelic again, as if oblivious to all that she previously said. What was most surprising about this promo however is that she hasn’t even glanced at the rose, let alone grabbed it. Instead of simply dropping the flower, thus somehow getting the cameraman back to the square, after saying ‘goodbye.’ Instead the purple haired megastar simply turned around and walked off, humming the word ‘bells’ with every step…perhaps she has an obsession with bells? Either way the cameraman sighed in annoyance as he switched off the camera, officially ending this promo in the process.
Word count (discounting codes and count): 3999
