Post by Alex Black on Mar 8, 2014 8:52:25 GMT -4
Present Day
“So can you tell me who “He” is?”
The question took me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting it as I looked up at Miss Hydrangea as she smiles at me from across the room. I opened my mouth a couple times to speak but no sound came out as I kept thinking about it, finally Miss Hydrangea spoke up again.
“If you’d rather not talk about “Him” I would understand, we can talk about something else if that’s alright.”
I smiled at her as I ran a hand threw my hair and continued to think about the question. I had been in her office for less than ten minutes when she dropped the bombshell of a question on me. I had been lying on the couch across from her. The previous few weeks had been leading up to this and I knew it was coming, but I was still unprepared for it. Finally I sat up and looked over at her, my voice unsteady as I spoke up.
“I honestly don’t know. I would like to think that he is some foreign enemy who wants to take control, but I think it’s more than that. I think he is me. Any time he speaks up he refers to himself as Alex Black. So maybe he is me…the real me that is.”
I went quiet again as Miss Hydrangea wrote something down on her notepad and then looked back up at me with a warm smile on her face. I watched her as she formed the right words in her head before she spoke them aloud. She suddenly adjusted her glasses and began.
“You could be right, on both counts. He is you, just as much as you are you, but he is also a foreign enemy who wants control. I know you are having trouble keeping control, and I am very proud of you for doing so as much as you have in the past six months. I need you to do something else for me though now.”
I raised an eyebrow as she finished and sat quietly as she continued.
“I need you to promise me not to allow him to take control again. I firmly believe the Alex Black I have been talking to these past few months is the true Alex Black. I know he says things that are very alluring, but I need you to continue to take your meds and remember to keep your mental exercises up. You have begun to wrestle again, and the travel and physical stress can cause a break, so I want you to remember that you are not alone. I am only a phone call away, so is Lance, and I still can’t believe I’m saying this, your sister.”
I took a deep breath as I listened to her, and when she finished I smiled and nodded my head.
“I understand all that, and I will try, I think though this is all working well. I have won my first two matches for PW since I joined, so I think things are swinging my way, at least I hope they are. I can’t wait to begin to move up the card and challenge more people, but I will keep that all in mind. The more challenging an opponent the more opportunity he has to emerge and I must keep him in check.”
She smiles at me and then writes a few more things down on her pad before she looked back up at me.
“That’s a good thing, now let me ask you about Annabelle…”
I quickly stopped her.
“Annabeth, please, call her Annabeth, she hates being called Annabelle.”
She nods her head and smiles.
“Of course I’m sorry. How are things going between you and Annabeth? I can’t tell you anything we have been discussing in our sessions, but I hope things are going well for you two outside of your time here with me.”
My sister Annabeth and I have had a very strenuous relationship since I was very young. She had a mental break when I was younger and she nearly killed me. It makes family get togethers, very..interesting to say the least. I looked back up at her as I got out of my head and answered her.
“Honestly I don’t know. I have been keeping my distance from everyone. I check in with them a few times a week so they know not to worry, but besides that I don’t think she and I will be getting any sibling of the year awards or anything anytime soon. I can tell she has changed, or she is at least trying, but I don’t know, everything I’m around her I flashback and I’m terrified. It’s not fair to her, she’s really trying, but I can’t help it. She scared the shit outta me.”
I let out a deep breath as I finished and she smiles at me again.
“Does she know that she does this to you?”
I nodded my head and I looked down at floor ashamed as she continued.
“I know she knows, she use to give me crap for it before, but she’s long stopped doing that, and I know she’s trying, but it’s in my head. I just don’t know what to do with it. I love her, I really do, she’s the only family I have left after Allister died, but I just can’t…”
I stopped and shook my head. Miss Hydrangea walks over to me and puts and hand on my shoulder and sits on her table in front of her couch with a smile.
“You can’t forgive her? I know it’s hard, but it’s something you’re going to need to do. It’s hard I know, but I can tell you she’s trying, you need too as well.”
I took another deep breath as I looked up at her. I had stopped myself from tearing up this time but she was looking me straight in the eyes as I looked away again.
“Can we…can we change the subject please?”
She smiled and nodded as she got back up and walked back to her chair and sat down.
“So what would you like to talk about now? We still have plenty of time left. You know what, I actually have a good subject and something else I have wanted to bring up the past few sessions but never got around to it. Tell me how you feel about facing Danny Tenegra soon for the APW.”
I looked back down but then forced myself to look back up to her.
“I don’t know why I’m feeling the way I am about this match. I volunteered for it after all. I wanted to redeem myself after my loss to him in the Twenty-Twelve Extreme Tournament. I had him back then, at least I told myself I did. I know I had rattled him to his core, but he still managed to pull the win out when the time called for action. I mentioned back then that I had shook him to his core, but I think after he get the one, two, three, I was the one who was shook to his core. I hate to admit it, but he ruined me after that. I could not go back to SCW, and then I got injured. I was a mess. For a long time I blamed him for everything.”
She wrote a couple things down and looked back at me and smiled inviting me to continue.
“I sit sometimes and wonder what would have happened if I had won. It’s not like I would have advanced in the ET. I sometimes wonder if I should have just let him pin me, things would have gone so much smoother for me. I would have been welcomed back to SCW as a hero. I don’t know though. M.D.K. is such a snake in the grass, even if I had done what he wanted would he still have suspended me? All these questions run threw my head all the time.”
She continues to smile at me, but this time she puts a hand up to stop me for a second.
“All this was around the time you had stopped taking your meds, and you had your first break. While I would have said not to take a match against him this early, I do think this is a good thing for you. You want redemption, but I want you to remember that you can get that even if you lose, remember to give it your all.”
I took another deep breath as I got to my feet and walked over to the window and looked out at the sunny day outside. I finally turned and leaned against the window.
“I don’t want to change the subject, but there was something I was just thinking about that I thought was funny. When M.D.K. and I face off on March 29th, it is apropos that it is APW’s final show, because this will be my last chance at Danny. I have to earn his respect; he made it undoubtedly clear that he did not respect me, and I don’t know why but it eats at me. It has taken up so much brain space.”
She writes something down as she gives me time to continue.
“He cheated at the end of the match last time, but at the end of the day it was on me for falling for the ploy he sat up. I should have known the contract he was waving in my face wasn't real; it was just a dream for me to lust after. I knew it wasn't real but I wanted it so badly. Maybe it was me, I beat myself. I allowed myself to believe in the dream that Danny was offering, and I allowed myself to be fooled and as punishment I was hit with the Hellshot and I lost. I need redemption for that, and this time he has nothing he can offer me.”
I looked up at her as she watched me curiously. I made a face and then walked back over to the couch and sat down.
“I’m sorry, sometimes I just get lost and I need to be reeled back in.”
She shook her head and laughed a bit.
“Oh, there is no reason at all to apologize, you are just passionate about what you do and that’s admirable. You seem split though; you need to focus yourself on one thing. If I may make a suggestion, Mr. M.D.K. isn't your boss anymore. He has nothing to offer you; you can now focus on that. Focus on the here and now. From what you have told me in the past he is still one of the most talented people you have been in the ring with but you have as much raw talent as he does. You just need to grab it and run with it.”
I smiled at her as she finished.
“I know, and that’s a great idea, I should focus on the here and now and get the past out of my head. There is nothing Danny can do to me that will stop me this time. It’s time for me to up my game though, I have a few new tricks that he’s not seen yet, and I know that I can get the win this time. M.D.K. the great and powerful will finally fall. I know that’s a tall order, but I’m going to go out there and give it my one hundred percent.”
She puts her pad down and smiles at me.
“And that’s all we are asking of you Alex. You are going to do great, and I promise you all you have to do is be you, and give it your all, and I promise you, you will have earned not only his respect, but the respect of everyone in the building.”
As she finishes the timer goes off for the session and she looks down at it and then back up at Alex.
“Well I guess that’s a good place to end it at. Thank you for being so honest today, you have been great as always. I know it might be a couple weeks before our next session, but if you need to talk to me you have my number, just call whenever. I’ll see you soon.”
She walks back to her chair and turns off the timer as I got to my feet.
“Thank you for everything today, I will give it my all, and if I need anything I’ll call. I’ll see you later. Thank you again.”
I walked past her and then out of her office, the camera pans out as I walked out of the building and then went to static, then black.
“So can you tell me who “He” is?”
The question took me by surprise. I wasn’t expecting it as I looked up at Miss Hydrangea as she smiles at me from across the room. I opened my mouth a couple times to speak but no sound came out as I kept thinking about it, finally Miss Hydrangea spoke up again.
“If you’d rather not talk about “Him” I would understand, we can talk about something else if that’s alright.”
I smiled at her as I ran a hand threw my hair and continued to think about the question. I had been in her office for less than ten minutes when she dropped the bombshell of a question on me. I had been lying on the couch across from her. The previous few weeks had been leading up to this and I knew it was coming, but I was still unprepared for it. Finally I sat up and looked over at her, my voice unsteady as I spoke up.
“I honestly don’t know. I would like to think that he is some foreign enemy who wants to take control, but I think it’s more than that. I think he is me. Any time he speaks up he refers to himself as Alex Black. So maybe he is me…the real me that is.”
I went quiet again as Miss Hydrangea wrote something down on her notepad and then looked back up at me with a warm smile on her face. I watched her as she formed the right words in her head before she spoke them aloud. She suddenly adjusted her glasses and began.
“You could be right, on both counts. He is you, just as much as you are you, but he is also a foreign enemy who wants control. I know you are having trouble keeping control, and I am very proud of you for doing so as much as you have in the past six months. I need you to do something else for me though now.”
I raised an eyebrow as she finished and sat quietly as she continued.
“I need you to promise me not to allow him to take control again. I firmly believe the Alex Black I have been talking to these past few months is the true Alex Black. I know he says things that are very alluring, but I need you to continue to take your meds and remember to keep your mental exercises up. You have begun to wrestle again, and the travel and physical stress can cause a break, so I want you to remember that you are not alone. I am only a phone call away, so is Lance, and I still can’t believe I’m saying this, your sister.”
I took a deep breath as I listened to her, and when she finished I smiled and nodded my head.
“I understand all that, and I will try, I think though this is all working well. I have won my first two matches for PW since I joined, so I think things are swinging my way, at least I hope they are. I can’t wait to begin to move up the card and challenge more people, but I will keep that all in mind. The more challenging an opponent the more opportunity he has to emerge and I must keep him in check.”
She smiles at me and then writes a few more things down on her pad before she looked back up at me.
“That’s a good thing, now let me ask you about Annabelle…”
I quickly stopped her.
“Annabeth, please, call her Annabeth, she hates being called Annabelle.”
She nods her head and smiles.
“Of course I’m sorry. How are things going between you and Annabeth? I can’t tell you anything we have been discussing in our sessions, but I hope things are going well for you two outside of your time here with me.”
My sister Annabeth and I have had a very strenuous relationship since I was very young. She had a mental break when I was younger and she nearly killed me. It makes family get togethers, very..interesting to say the least. I looked back up at her as I got out of my head and answered her.
“Honestly I don’t know. I have been keeping my distance from everyone. I check in with them a few times a week so they know not to worry, but besides that I don’t think she and I will be getting any sibling of the year awards or anything anytime soon. I can tell she has changed, or she is at least trying, but I don’t know, everything I’m around her I flashback and I’m terrified. It’s not fair to her, she’s really trying, but I can’t help it. She scared the shit outta me.”
I let out a deep breath as I finished and she smiles at me again.
“Does she know that she does this to you?”
I nodded my head and I looked down at floor ashamed as she continued.
“I know she knows, she use to give me crap for it before, but she’s long stopped doing that, and I know she’s trying, but it’s in my head. I just don’t know what to do with it. I love her, I really do, she’s the only family I have left after Allister died, but I just can’t…”
I stopped and shook my head. Miss Hydrangea walks over to me and puts and hand on my shoulder and sits on her table in front of her couch with a smile.
“You can’t forgive her? I know it’s hard, but it’s something you’re going to need to do. It’s hard I know, but I can tell you she’s trying, you need too as well.”
I took another deep breath as I looked up at her. I had stopped myself from tearing up this time but she was looking me straight in the eyes as I looked away again.
“Can we…can we change the subject please?”
She smiled and nodded as she got back up and walked back to her chair and sat down.
“So what would you like to talk about now? We still have plenty of time left. You know what, I actually have a good subject and something else I have wanted to bring up the past few sessions but never got around to it. Tell me how you feel about facing Danny Tenegra soon for the APW.”
I looked back down but then forced myself to look back up to her.
“I don’t know why I’m feeling the way I am about this match. I volunteered for it after all. I wanted to redeem myself after my loss to him in the Twenty-Twelve Extreme Tournament. I had him back then, at least I told myself I did. I know I had rattled him to his core, but he still managed to pull the win out when the time called for action. I mentioned back then that I had shook him to his core, but I think after he get the one, two, three, I was the one who was shook to his core. I hate to admit it, but he ruined me after that. I could not go back to SCW, and then I got injured. I was a mess. For a long time I blamed him for everything.”
She wrote a couple things down and looked back at me and smiled inviting me to continue.
“I sit sometimes and wonder what would have happened if I had won. It’s not like I would have advanced in the ET. I sometimes wonder if I should have just let him pin me, things would have gone so much smoother for me. I would have been welcomed back to SCW as a hero. I don’t know though. M.D.K. is such a snake in the grass, even if I had done what he wanted would he still have suspended me? All these questions run threw my head all the time.”
She continues to smile at me, but this time she puts a hand up to stop me for a second.
“All this was around the time you had stopped taking your meds, and you had your first break. While I would have said not to take a match against him this early, I do think this is a good thing for you. You want redemption, but I want you to remember that you can get that even if you lose, remember to give it your all.”
I took another deep breath as I got to my feet and walked over to the window and looked out at the sunny day outside. I finally turned and leaned against the window.
“I don’t want to change the subject, but there was something I was just thinking about that I thought was funny. When M.D.K. and I face off on March 29th, it is apropos that it is APW’s final show, because this will be my last chance at Danny. I have to earn his respect; he made it undoubtedly clear that he did not respect me, and I don’t know why but it eats at me. It has taken up so much brain space.”
She writes something down as she gives me time to continue.
“He cheated at the end of the match last time, but at the end of the day it was on me for falling for the ploy he sat up. I should have known the contract he was waving in my face wasn't real; it was just a dream for me to lust after. I knew it wasn't real but I wanted it so badly. Maybe it was me, I beat myself. I allowed myself to believe in the dream that Danny was offering, and I allowed myself to be fooled and as punishment I was hit with the Hellshot and I lost. I need redemption for that, and this time he has nothing he can offer me.”
I looked up at her as she watched me curiously. I made a face and then walked back over to the couch and sat down.
“I’m sorry, sometimes I just get lost and I need to be reeled back in.”
She shook her head and laughed a bit.
“Oh, there is no reason at all to apologize, you are just passionate about what you do and that’s admirable. You seem split though; you need to focus yourself on one thing. If I may make a suggestion, Mr. M.D.K. isn't your boss anymore. He has nothing to offer you; you can now focus on that. Focus on the here and now. From what you have told me in the past he is still one of the most talented people you have been in the ring with but you have as much raw talent as he does. You just need to grab it and run with it.”
I smiled at her as she finished.
“I know, and that’s a great idea, I should focus on the here and now and get the past out of my head. There is nothing Danny can do to me that will stop me this time. It’s time for me to up my game though, I have a few new tricks that he’s not seen yet, and I know that I can get the win this time. M.D.K. the great and powerful will finally fall. I know that’s a tall order, but I’m going to go out there and give it my one hundred percent.”
She puts her pad down and smiles at me.
“And that’s all we are asking of you Alex. You are going to do great, and I promise you all you have to do is be you, and give it your all, and I promise you, you will have earned not only his respect, but the respect of everyone in the building.”
As she finishes the timer goes off for the session and she looks down at it and then back up at Alex.
“Well I guess that’s a good place to end it at. Thank you for being so honest today, you have been great as always. I know it might be a couple weeks before our next session, but if you need to talk to me you have my number, just call whenever. I’ll see you soon.”
She walks back to her chair and turns off the timer as I got to my feet.
“Thank you for everything today, I will give it my all, and if I need anything I’ll call. I’ll see you later. Thank you again.”
I walked past her and then out of her office, the camera pans out as I walked out of the building and then went to static, then black.
