Post by Chaos Stryke on Mar 9, 2014 18:25:06 GMT -4
Blog entry for: January 27, 2014
It’s the morning after…
The sense of disappointment lingers. I suppose it will for some time. Even with all the congratulations and ‘thank you’s I’ve gotten from fans and friends after Survive and Conquer, my feeling of failure hasn’t diminished. I should’ve done better last night against Smith and Gates. Done something differently, found a way to succeed.
People have told me I shouldn’t have expected so much of myself for my first match in almost half a year. I’ve always tried to hold myself to a higher standard though. I never felt there was an excuse for losing, even when returning from injury. It didn’t seem to stop Gates after all.
Maybe this is just the latest sign of something I should’ve realized some time ago. I’ve been drifting from company to company over the last six years and I haven’t had a truly impressive run of success in all that time. I’ve won several championships. I’ve set some records. I’ve gone on long undefeated streaks. But in the end, none of that has really seemed to matter. No matter what I’ve done, it never seems to be enough. I’m constantly lost in the shuffle of midlevel talent while people with none of my accomplishments are elevated ahead of me. My hard work counts for nothing.
Worst of all… when I do get a chance to get ahead, I can’t seem to make it count.
Last night was one of those moments. It was my last chance to prove myself… and I couldn’t.
There might be other places for me to go after this… but nothing has improved for me in the last six years… quite the opposite, in fact. Injuries have taken their toll and I don’t think I have the heart or passion for this business anymore. That I keep coming up short when it matters is a testament to that.
It’s probably time I contemplate a life outside of the ring and decide where to take it.
I won’t rule out an eventual return, but honestly… right now, I wouldn’t bet on it.
Blog entry for: February 18, 2014
Sorry I haven’t made more than the occasional update here for the last couple of weeks. I haven’t settled my internal debate over what I’m going to do from now on. It isn’t something that’s resolved quickly or easily either.
I’d returned home and garnered a nice outpouring of support from my local fanbase after Survive and Conquer. I indulged them and did my best to avoid dwelling on the fact that I might’ve reached the end of my journey as a wrestler. At the time, it was just a possibility… but it felt like it was creeping towards a certainty.
I rededicated myself to the training and teaching of others. For the first time in two years, I’d gotten fully involved in helping people who have the same dreams I once did of becoming a wrestler, travelling the world, and making a name for themselves. I’ve managed to have a positive impact on quite a number of people with my guidance. Many have had varying levels of success thus far. Perhaps I can do more.
Of course, I have something unexpected that I need to address first.
News circulated quickly and it reached me early this morning about APW.
I’d kept tabs on what was going on there. I knew that they had another Rasslemania in the works for this year. It’s the final show for them. I was aware that it was going to be held in Toronto again this year. I figured I might go down there to take in the show live or perhaps I’d just watch from home and see what unfolded. Maybe I’d wish Evan and Aubrey all the best for their last appearances should they both be there.
I knew Evan and Smith were set to meet and I just found out that Aubrey was to be there as well… Most unexpectedly, so am I.
At the moment though… I’m not going to comment in depth on what’s going on. Currently I’m trying to get in touch with APW officials and confirm what I’ve read and be sure that it isn’t some sort of joke or mistake. The second has been known to happen… and I wouldn’t put the first past many of the people I know, as some are quite avid pranksters.
So I’ll have more on this in a few days. Once everything is sorted out, I’ll let you all know what my thoughts are on it.
Until then.
Blog entry for: February 21, 2014
I’m still trying to wrap my mind around all the facts in this situation. There’s no mistake. I’ve managed to confirm that I’m scheduled to have one last match for APW at Rasslemania. As it turns out I’m supposed to face Aubrey one-on-one for her Undisputed championship. The response from my fans and students has been electric. So many people are looking forward to this. Many believe that it’s something that’s been a long time in coming and something I have been denied for too long. I know that I’ve had that opinion from time to time… but that changed in the last month.
This has been an unexpected development. I was prepared to retire. I was even comfortable with that possibility. You reach a point where you feel you’ve given enough for your professional pursuits and I felt that I wasn’t going to make any further progress in my career. My career has stagnated at about the upper midcard level. Plenty of opportunity to secure second tier titles, which I’ve done many times, but forever removed from the highest prize. It’s what everyone aspires towards, but I have been unable gain any opportunities. After my last match, I’d accepted that I was probably never going to be good enough to get such an opportunity.
To be honest, I can see no rationale to my position in this proposed match. The closest I’ve been to contention was to qualify for Test for the Best, but I came up short against Aubrey there. Since then, I’ve been in a downward spiral. So now… to be here in this situation… it just doesn’t sit well with me for some reason. It’s almost like I have a huge joke being played on me, and I’m waiting for the laughter. Now that I’m no longer after it, the biggest prize is being placed before me… and I don’t understand why.
Nothing has ever come easy for me in APW. I’ve never just been given title matches. There’s always been some sort of condition. I can’t help but wonder what the catch is.
The last time Aubrey and I faced one another for a championship, biased officiating by the GM and plenty of interference robbed Aubrey of her title and my victory of legitimacy. How can I be sure that the same thing, or worse, won’t happen this time? Why should I go out there and risk being torn down in my hometown again? It happened last year.
I want to accept this match… if only to have one more big showdown with a person I respect. But with everything else attached to it and the track record of past matches… I just don’t feel that things are on the level somehow…
I still have time to decide though. I’ll let you know when I have.
Blog entry for: March 6, 2014
I’m still not sure how this came about. It continues to gnaw away at me since I don’t have all the pieces available, but since I know that it’s not a result of anything I’ve done, I’ve begun to suspect that this event has been set up because of something Aubrey has done.
The rest of Asylum’s A-list talent are already involved in other matches. Bailey with Cashe. Talfourd with Level-One. Marvin with Spectre. They’re the ones that likely should have gotten this match. But if Aubrey requested this match for whatever reason, that would explain why it’s now happening. I haven’t had a chance to discuss this with Aubrey… and I feel that doing so would come across as accusatory. Maybe at the end of the month I’ll learn the truth.
Regardless though, this still left me with one question to answer… Yes or no?
I’ve thought about it from many different perspectives and gotten other points of view. It hasn’t made it any clearer though. Finally, I ran out of time and had to make a decision… So I did.
We open to a scene on the interior of the Roger’s Center in downtown Toronto. A camera takes in the playing area of stadium from one of the seating area entrances. The lights are on but the stadium currently stands empty as Rasslemania isn’t set to kick off for three weeks and the baseball season has yet to begin as well.
The perspective then changes. Now the camera’s in one of the stairways leading down through the lowest stands to field level, facing up towards an entryway. Several moments pass before Logan Alexander emerges from it. He stops to look around the stadium, before glancing towards the camera, offering little more than a tired smile.
Hello there. I honestly didn’t think I’d be doing this again… certainly not so soon after my last outing.
He begins descending the stairs, and the camera does the same to stay ahead of him.
The last five weeks have involved a lot of soul searching for me. Not to find a soul as some might suspect, but really just to find answers to hard questions I’ve asked myself. I thought about getting out of wrestling entirely or just taking another leave. I’ve gained much from my career… but I’ve also lost a lot to it too. I needed to take stock and see just how the sides of that ledger balanced. While I might still be in my prime, I’ve suffered a rash of injuries that make it tougher to step back in the ring each time.
It would seem that I still have one last thing to settle before I can leave though. It shouldn’t be that surprising that it involves the person who brought me out of retirement almost twenty months ago.
He smiles slightly and looks towards the camera.
Aubrey J. Parker.
He shakes his head slowly before glancing out past the camera.
She came to me in the summer of 2012 and convinced me to get back in the ring, to go with her to help her set the world on fire. And as M&M, it’s hard to question our effectiveness in doing just that. We were almost perfect counterbalances for one another and made a formidable team. We beat the number one contenders in our debut. Four months later we’d challenge for the titles. A month after that, we were the champions. In that same span of time we both became champions on our own as well. Both North American champions and Aubrey also became Suicidal champion after almost beating Sally Talfourd for the World title.
We did all of that together as a team. We never questioned or opposed one another. Although Aubrey was willing to use questionable methods that I refrained from, I didn’t hold that against her. I accepted her as she was, even with all of her perceived failings. And she did the same for me.
By this time the camera has reached the bottom of the stairway and then it moves aside into the front row. Logan continues on down to the bottom of the stairs, but then moves to the barricade separating the stands from the field. He walks along it and then climbs up onto the Blue Jays dugout. He walks out to the front of it and sits down with his legs dangling over the edge and both hands down to lightly hold onto the edge too. The camera moves up and follows along, eventually taking a spot there beside him.
Everything seemed to be working out well for us… even if it seemed like the entire company was working against us at times. The GM’s and other wrestlers did what they could to hold us back and undermine us… but we continued to push on ahead. During the summer last year, I had become Tap Out champion and Aubrey charged straight towards the top by winning Test for the Best. That was where things unravelled for me.
Because my first concern here in APW wasn’t just me, but both of us, I knew I needed to leave. I had to deal with my own problems and free Aubrey from the burden I was becoming. I knew that she would be able to achieve greatness once she was released from that… and she proved me right. She didn’t defeat Terry the first time, but she made the second one count and weeks later, through her brilliant masterminding, she walking into and out of an elimination chamber match as the champion.
I couldn’t be any more proud of her for all she accomplished. She proved people all over the world wrong and they hated that they had to eat their words finally.
He lowers his gaze, but he’s still smiling as he does so.
And now… that brings us here.
He looks up again and stares out across the field, his smile disappearing.
Out there in three weeks… it’s all going to end.
He looks to the camera.
Aubrey… I have a sneaking suspicion that this match is your doing. As such, I’ve decided that I’ll honour it as such. Had this match been against anyone else, with the exact same stakes, I’d have turned it down weeks ago. But we’ve been friends for a long time and I didn’t want to turn down this match without good reason because it would’ve been disrespectful to you. With everything you’ve accomplished, you deserve that respect.
In the last year, you’ve surpassed me easily. You beat me twice on your way to becoming Undisputed champion and you didn’t require my guidance to complete your climb. Everything you accomplished was on your own. Now, I’m going to do my best to give you the greatest match possible.
As usual, I’m going into this match as an underdog. Everything I’ve done in APW pales in comparison to your accomplishments, Aubrey. The only advantage I truly hold over you is experience, but I know that alone isn’t enough to beat you. I know you quite well with all the training and fighting we have done, but there’s much that could’ve changed in the last several months.
Neither one of us is the same person from when we parted ways back in August.
He turns away from the camera, taking in a deep breath then letting it out slowly.
But we do know how one another thinks. I know that you’re capable of doing anything in order to win a match or defend a title. I know you’d cross any line to achieve victory if you wanted, and I know that isn’t going to change just because you’re facing me. None of our previous matches have ever truly proven which of us is better. We’ve split five matches and you have the edge, but none of them have ever had stakes this high. This one match is effectively for everything.
He pauses for several moments.
I don’t know what this match means to you Aubrey… but for me it’s going to be one last chance to step into the ring for glory. I’ve committed to this match and in doing so I’m laying everything on the line. You’re one of the best competitors in the world right now, Aubrey. The fact you’re Undisputed champion is a testament to that. For me to ever deserve a chance like this anywhere else in the future, I’d need to beat you at Rasslemania. I need to show that I have what it takes.
That’s the subtext of this match Aubrey. It took me a while to realize it, but that’s why I was hesitant to accept this match at first. I won’t be able to say I never had a fair chance or I was held back after this. If I lose to you, then I never really deserved the opportunity and I can’t expect to get one anywhere else as I am. In three weeks, we’ll find out exactly what my worth is to the industry.
He looks towards the camera. He smiles slightly.
So while my career and your championship potentially hang in the balance, this match is still a great potential finish for me. I couldn’t ask for a better event to have my last hurrah. To close out my career in my hometown against a person I helped to reach superstardom is a rather fitting finale.
So while the end result matters in one regard, it really doesn’t either. If my career ends here, that’s okay. I can accept that now.
All I really have to do is give everything I have once more. My sole purpose isn’t to beat you Aubrey. My goal at Rasslemania is to put out my absolute best for one night, and leave my hopes, fears, and regrets out there in the ring when it’s all over. Either I end the night with one more championship draped over my shoulder, or I leave with the peace of mind that I went out on a high note unburdened by anything else.
What more can a person ask for?
He smiles a bit more broadly at the camera.
Aubrey we’ve worked together for so long and I’ve taught you everything I thought you’d need. At Rasslemania, I have one last lesson for you… How to go out with class.
I’ll see you then.
He nods to the camera and looks back out across the field. Moments later, the scene fades to black.
It’s the morning after…
The sense of disappointment lingers. I suppose it will for some time. Even with all the congratulations and ‘thank you’s I’ve gotten from fans and friends after Survive and Conquer, my feeling of failure hasn’t diminished. I should’ve done better last night against Smith and Gates. Done something differently, found a way to succeed.
People have told me I shouldn’t have expected so much of myself for my first match in almost half a year. I’ve always tried to hold myself to a higher standard though. I never felt there was an excuse for losing, even when returning from injury. It didn’t seem to stop Gates after all.
Maybe this is just the latest sign of something I should’ve realized some time ago. I’ve been drifting from company to company over the last six years and I haven’t had a truly impressive run of success in all that time. I’ve won several championships. I’ve set some records. I’ve gone on long undefeated streaks. But in the end, none of that has really seemed to matter. No matter what I’ve done, it never seems to be enough. I’m constantly lost in the shuffle of midlevel talent while people with none of my accomplishments are elevated ahead of me. My hard work counts for nothing.
Worst of all… when I do get a chance to get ahead, I can’t seem to make it count.
Last night was one of those moments. It was my last chance to prove myself… and I couldn’t.
There might be other places for me to go after this… but nothing has improved for me in the last six years… quite the opposite, in fact. Injuries have taken their toll and I don’t think I have the heart or passion for this business anymore. That I keep coming up short when it matters is a testament to that.
It’s probably time I contemplate a life outside of the ring and decide where to take it.
I won’t rule out an eventual return, but honestly… right now, I wouldn’t bet on it.
Blog entry for: February 18, 2014
Sorry I haven’t made more than the occasional update here for the last couple of weeks. I haven’t settled my internal debate over what I’m going to do from now on. It isn’t something that’s resolved quickly or easily either.
I’d returned home and garnered a nice outpouring of support from my local fanbase after Survive and Conquer. I indulged them and did my best to avoid dwelling on the fact that I might’ve reached the end of my journey as a wrestler. At the time, it was just a possibility… but it felt like it was creeping towards a certainty.
I rededicated myself to the training and teaching of others. For the first time in two years, I’d gotten fully involved in helping people who have the same dreams I once did of becoming a wrestler, travelling the world, and making a name for themselves. I’ve managed to have a positive impact on quite a number of people with my guidance. Many have had varying levels of success thus far. Perhaps I can do more.
Of course, I have something unexpected that I need to address first.
News circulated quickly and it reached me early this morning about APW.
I’d kept tabs on what was going on there. I knew that they had another Rasslemania in the works for this year. It’s the final show for them. I was aware that it was going to be held in Toronto again this year. I figured I might go down there to take in the show live or perhaps I’d just watch from home and see what unfolded. Maybe I’d wish Evan and Aubrey all the best for their last appearances should they both be there.
I knew Evan and Smith were set to meet and I just found out that Aubrey was to be there as well… Most unexpectedly, so am I.
At the moment though… I’m not going to comment in depth on what’s going on. Currently I’m trying to get in touch with APW officials and confirm what I’ve read and be sure that it isn’t some sort of joke or mistake. The second has been known to happen… and I wouldn’t put the first past many of the people I know, as some are quite avid pranksters.
So I’ll have more on this in a few days. Once everything is sorted out, I’ll let you all know what my thoughts are on it.
Until then.
Blog entry for: February 21, 2014
I’m still trying to wrap my mind around all the facts in this situation. There’s no mistake. I’ve managed to confirm that I’m scheduled to have one last match for APW at Rasslemania. As it turns out I’m supposed to face Aubrey one-on-one for her Undisputed championship. The response from my fans and students has been electric. So many people are looking forward to this. Many believe that it’s something that’s been a long time in coming and something I have been denied for too long. I know that I’ve had that opinion from time to time… but that changed in the last month.
This has been an unexpected development. I was prepared to retire. I was even comfortable with that possibility. You reach a point where you feel you’ve given enough for your professional pursuits and I felt that I wasn’t going to make any further progress in my career. My career has stagnated at about the upper midcard level. Plenty of opportunity to secure second tier titles, which I’ve done many times, but forever removed from the highest prize. It’s what everyone aspires towards, but I have been unable gain any opportunities. After my last match, I’d accepted that I was probably never going to be good enough to get such an opportunity.
To be honest, I can see no rationale to my position in this proposed match. The closest I’ve been to contention was to qualify for Test for the Best, but I came up short against Aubrey there. Since then, I’ve been in a downward spiral. So now… to be here in this situation… it just doesn’t sit well with me for some reason. It’s almost like I have a huge joke being played on me, and I’m waiting for the laughter. Now that I’m no longer after it, the biggest prize is being placed before me… and I don’t understand why.
Nothing has ever come easy for me in APW. I’ve never just been given title matches. There’s always been some sort of condition. I can’t help but wonder what the catch is.
The last time Aubrey and I faced one another for a championship, biased officiating by the GM and plenty of interference robbed Aubrey of her title and my victory of legitimacy. How can I be sure that the same thing, or worse, won’t happen this time? Why should I go out there and risk being torn down in my hometown again? It happened last year.
I want to accept this match… if only to have one more big showdown with a person I respect. But with everything else attached to it and the track record of past matches… I just don’t feel that things are on the level somehow…
I still have time to decide though. I’ll let you know when I have.
Blog entry for: March 6, 2014
I’m still not sure how this came about. It continues to gnaw away at me since I don’t have all the pieces available, but since I know that it’s not a result of anything I’ve done, I’ve begun to suspect that this event has been set up because of something Aubrey has done.
The rest of Asylum’s A-list talent are already involved in other matches. Bailey with Cashe. Talfourd with Level-One. Marvin with Spectre. They’re the ones that likely should have gotten this match. But if Aubrey requested this match for whatever reason, that would explain why it’s now happening. I haven’t had a chance to discuss this with Aubrey… and I feel that doing so would come across as accusatory. Maybe at the end of the month I’ll learn the truth.
Regardless though, this still left me with one question to answer… Yes or no?
I’ve thought about it from many different perspectives and gotten other points of view. It hasn’t made it any clearer though. Finally, I ran out of time and had to make a decision… So I did.
We open to a scene on the interior of the Roger’s Center in downtown Toronto. A camera takes in the playing area of stadium from one of the seating area entrances. The lights are on but the stadium currently stands empty as Rasslemania isn’t set to kick off for three weeks and the baseball season has yet to begin as well.
The perspective then changes. Now the camera’s in one of the stairways leading down through the lowest stands to field level, facing up towards an entryway. Several moments pass before Logan Alexander emerges from it. He stops to look around the stadium, before glancing towards the camera, offering little more than a tired smile.
Hello there. I honestly didn’t think I’d be doing this again… certainly not so soon after my last outing.
He begins descending the stairs, and the camera does the same to stay ahead of him.
The last five weeks have involved a lot of soul searching for me. Not to find a soul as some might suspect, but really just to find answers to hard questions I’ve asked myself. I thought about getting out of wrestling entirely or just taking another leave. I’ve gained much from my career… but I’ve also lost a lot to it too. I needed to take stock and see just how the sides of that ledger balanced. While I might still be in my prime, I’ve suffered a rash of injuries that make it tougher to step back in the ring each time.
It would seem that I still have one last thing to settle before I can leave though. It shouldn’t be that surprising that it involves the person who brought me out of retirement almost twenty months ago.
He smiles slightly and looks towards the camera.
Aubrey J. Parker.
He shakes his head slowly before glancing out past the camera.
She came to me in the summer of 2012 and convinced me to get back in the ring, to go with her to help her set the world on fire. And as M&M, it’s hard to question our effectiveness in doing just that. We were almost perfect counterbalances for one another and made a formidable team. We beat the number one contenders in our debut. Four months later we’d challenge for the titles. A month after that, we were the champions. In that same span of time we both became champions on our own as well. Both North American champions and Aubrey also became Suicidal champion after almost beating Sally Talfourd for the World title.
We did all of that together as a team. We never questioned or opposed one another. Although Aubrey was willing to use questionable methods that I refrained from, I didn’t hold that against her. I accepted her as she was, even with all of her perceived failings. And she did the same for me.
By this time the camera has reached the bottom of the stairway and then it moves aside into the front row. Logan continues on down to the bottom of the stairs, but then moves to the barricade separating the stands from the field. He walks along it and then climbs up onto the Blue Jays dugout. He walks out to the front of it and sits down with his legs dangling over the edge and both hands down to lightly hold onto the edge too. The camera moves up and follows along, eventually taking a spot there beside him.
Everything seemed to be working out well for us… even if it seemed like the entire company was working against us at times. The GM’s and other wrestlers did what they could to hold us back and undermine us… but we continued to push on ahead. During the summer last year, I had become Tap Out champion and Aubrey charged straight towards the top by winning Test for the Best. That was where things unravelled for me.
Because my first concern here in APW wasn’t just me, but both of us, I knew I needed to leave. I had to deal with my own problems and free Aubrey from the burden I was becoming. I knew that she would be able to achieve greatness once she was released from that… and she proved me right. She didn’t defeat Terry the first time, but she made the second one count and weeks later, through her brilliant masterminding, she walking into and out of an elimination chamber match as the champion.
I couldn’t be any more proud of her for all she accomplished. She proved people all over the world wrong and they hated that they had to eat their words finally.
He lowers his gaze, but he’s still smiling as he does so.
And now… that brings us here.
He looks up again and stares out across the field, his smile disappearing.
Out there in three weeks… it’s all going to end.
He looks to the camera.
Aubrey… I have a sneaking suspicion that this match is your doing. As such, I’ve decided that I’ll honour it as such. Had this match been against anyone else, with the exact same stakes, I’d have turned it down weeks ago. But we’ve been friends for a long time and I didn’t want to turn down this match without good reason because it would’ve been disrespectful to you. With everything you’ve accomplished, you deserve that respect.
In the last year, you’ve surpassed me easily. You beat me twice on your way to becoming Undisputed champion and you didn’t require my guidance to complete your climb. Everything you accomplished was on your own. Now, I’m going to do my best to give you the greatest match possible.
As usual, I’m going into this match as an underdog. Everything I’ve done in APW pales in comparison to your accomplishments, Aubrey. The only advantage I truly hold over you is experience, but I know that alone isn’t enough to beat you. I know you quite well with all the training and fighting we have done, but there’s much that could’ve changed in the last several months.
Neither one of us is the same person from when we parted ways back in August.
He turns away from the camera, taking in a deep breath then letting it out slowly.
But we do know how one another thinks. I know that you’re capable of doing anything in order to win a match or defend a title. I know you’d cross any line to achieve victory if you wanted, and I know that isn’t going to change just because you’re facing me. None of our previous matches have ever truly proven which of us is better. We’ve split five matches and you have the edge, but none of them have ever had stakes this high. This one match is effectively for everything.
He pauses for several moments.
I don’t know what this match means to you Aubrey… but for me it’s going to be one last chance to step into the ring for glory. I’ve committed to this match and in doing so I’m laying everything on the line. You’re one of the best competitors in the world right now, Aubrey. The fact you’re Undisputed champion is a testament to that. For me to ever deserve a chance like this anywhere else in the future, I’d need to beat you at Rasslemania. I need to show that I have what it takes.
That’s the subtext of this match Aubrey. It took me a while to realize it, but that’s why I was hesitant to accept this match at first. I won’t be able to say I never had a fair chance or I was held back after this. If I lose to you, then I never really deserved the opportunity and I can’t expect to get one anywhere else as I am. In three weeks, we’ll find out exactly what my worth is to the industry.
He looks towards the camera. He smiles slightly.
So while my career and your championship potentially hang in the balance, this match is still a great potential finish for me. I couldn’t ask for a better event to have my last hurrah. To close out my career in my hometown against a person I helped to reach superstardom is a rather fitting finale.
So while the end result matters in one regard, it really doesn’t either. If my career ends here, that’s okay. I can accept that now.
All I really have to do is give everything I have once more. My sole purpose isn’t to beat you Aubrey. My goal at Rasslemania is to put out my absolute best for one night, and leave my hopes, fears, and regrets out there in the ring when it’s all over. Either I end the night with one more championship draped over my shoulder, or I leave with the peace of mind that I went out on a high note unburdened by anything else.
What more can a person ask for?
He smiles a bit more broadly at the camera.
Aubrey we’ve worked together for so long and I’ve taught you everything I thought you’d need. At Rasslemania, I have one last lesson for you… How to go out with class.
I’ll see you then.
He nods to the camera and looks back out across the field. Moments later, the scene fades to black.
