Post by Mark Mania on Jul 20, 2015 12:09:28 GMT -4
The scene opens on Mark Mania standing by himself.
Mark Mania: Here we are in historic Philadelphia!
The camera pans around the area revealing a rather poor neighborhood in Philadelphia, then refocuses on Mark.
Mark Mania:What a dump!
The screen starts showing snap shots of Philadelphia; Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, and finally the Rocky statue. The outline of the statue fades to a shot of Mark outside of Independence Hall.
Mark Mania:One can only imagine what type of person it takes to be called “The Soul of Philly”. You look around at all these wonderful historic areas and wonder why it isn’t a more important city. Here I stand at Independence Hall, one of the most historic buildings during the Revolutionary War. Think about it, the Declaration of Independence AND the US Constitution were both created in this hall. One would say it’s potentially the most significant building in the original thirteen colonies. Really, Independence Hall should’ve been the cornerstone of the capital of the United States. But once people realized what a trash hole this place was, despite all of its historic relevance, they got out of here so fast someone broke some bell or something.
The screen shows the Liberty Bell again.
Mark Mania:Well folks, I’m here to try and bring back the significance of Philadelphia. I feel like for too long people have been making fun of it for their only true hero being a fake person.
The screen shows Sylvester Stallone as “Rocky”.
Mark Mania:So I’m going to wander the streets of Philadelphia and see what people really think about this fair city.
The scene cuts to Mark with a microphone in his hand on the streets of Philadelphia.
Mark Mania:Hi, what’s your name?
Woman: Felicia Perez.
Mark Mania:Hi Felecia, are you from Philadelphia?
Felicia Perez: Yes, I’ve lived here for twenty-five years.
Mark gives her a look of disgust.
Mark Mania:That’s very nice Felicia, you’re doing God’s work. So, Felicia, do you know what happened at Independence Hall?
Felicia Perez: Yes, that’s where they came up with the Declaration of Independence.
Mark Mania:Very good Felicia! Obviously, that’s quite the accomplishment, how come more people don’t care?
Felicia Perez: Oh, I think a lot of people care.
Mark Mania:Before this, when was the last time you talked about it?
Felicia stares and thinks for a second. Mark starts to smile.
Mark Mania:It’s been a long time hasn’t it?
Felicia laughs back at Mark a little bit.
Felicia Perez: Maybe just a little.
Mark Mania:It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m from Boston and I never talk about the Boston Tea Party.
Felicia laughs and the scene cuts to Mark somewhere else in Philadelphia.
Mark Mania:Ok and now I’m here with…
Mark is standing next to an obviously drunk girl who reaches over and grabs the microphone from Mark’s hand.
Drunk Woman: MONICA!
She screams/slurs into the microphone.
Mark Mania:Haha! Yes, I’m here with Monica, who has apparently been day drinking.
Monica: Sunday Funday, woooo!!!
Mark Mania:Yes, Sunday Funday indeed. Monica, are you from Philadelphia?
Monica: Flip, flip, flip-a-delphia!
Mark Mania:I’m going to take that as a yes! Monica, what food is Philadelphia best known for?
Monica stumbles back and forth a little bit while she’s thinking. She looks at Mark and Mark starts to mouth “cheese steak”.
Monica: PHILLY CHEESE STEAK!
Mark Mania:That’s right! How do they make Philly cheese steaks so perfectly Philadelphia?
Monica: Welp, they, they, they use shaved pussy. Hahaha, no, no, shaved beef. Shaved beef… shaved beef.
Mark Mania:: Right, and what else?
Monica: They used shaved beef and a toasted bun and then cheese.
Mark Mania:What type of cheese?
Monica: Um, um, like that cheese from a can. The leaning tower of Cheese-ah!
Monica fakes squirting cheese out of a can onto her hand and then smashes her hand at her mouth like she just ate a tower of cheese.
Mark Mania:They use fake cheese from a can for the famous Philly cheese steak?
Monica: Yeah, but, but, yeah, it’s f-cking delicious.
Mark Mania:Thanks Monica, you’ve been great.
Monica gets this drunken flirty look on her face and tries to cuddle up to Mark.
Monica: Oh, yeah, I could be *hiccup* great.
Mark looks at her and laughs. The scene cuts out to Mark in front of the steps at the Philadelphia Museum of Art where the Rocky statue now sits.
Mark Mania:Here we are at the historic, “Rocky Steps”, and I’m here with an employee of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. What’s your name?
Man: My name is David Gloss.
Mark Mania:David, can you tell us a little bit about the Rocky statue and the Rocky steps?
David Gloss: Of course, in 1982, Sylvester Stallone commissioned a bronze statue of his character Rocky Balboa. One of these statues was originally placed at the stop of these steps here at the Museum of Art. It’s moved a few times, and now before the 2006, “Rocky Balboa”, it was moved back here at the base of the steps that he so famously ran up in Rocky III.
Mark looks at him in amazement.
Mark Mania:David, is it safe to say that the statue is the most popular attraction at the Philadelphia Museum of Art?
David Gloss: I’d say it’s probably the most often viewed and the one that a lot of people come here for. But we have a lot of great pieces of art in the Museum.
Mark Mania:Does it bother you at all that a fake character from a movie is the most viewed item at your museum?
David looks a little upset about this.
David Gloss: Anything that brings people to our fine city, I’m happy with.
Mark Mania:But, like, this was created by Sylvester Stallone, the same guy that’s making all those Expendables movies. Should his characters get a statue as well?
David Gloss: I think this was a one of a kind type of opportunity. That’s one of the most well-known scenes in movies, and this is a great way to commemorate it.
Mark Mania:You’re a great sport man. Do you want a job working for me? You’d be a hell of a PR guy.
David gives an unsure smile. Mark turns away from him.
Mark Mania:Well, there you have it, Philadelphia. A land of a broken bell, fake cheese, and fake statue. How inspiring!
The scene pulls out and the entire little segment had been on a TV that just shut off in Mark Mania’s office at Mania Headquarters in Boston, MA.
“Oh he’s not going to like that.” I say to my assistant, Margaret.
“I wouldn’t imagine so, sir.” She replies back. Always calls me sir. I like that. I used to feel old because of it. Now it just flows so smoothly.
“Well, might as well drive the point home. Margaret, start rolling the camera!”
Margaret gets up and starts the camera.
“So! It wasn’t just a one-off after-all eh? From the depths of hell, APW resurfaces! I feel like everyone had a little bit of an inclination when there was going to be a reunion show that the possibility of a full-time return was looming. I must say, I had a ton of fun that night. Granted, it didn’t go exactly as expected with CJ Gates. A man I used to think of as a friend completely cheap shot’ed me. But that’s fine. This is life. You can never really expect to have too many friends. With APW opening up, I’m sure CJ and I will have plenty of time to put this little disagreement behind us. I’ll most certainly find a way to get even with him.”
“We all know that I’m not here to talk about that bastard though. I’m here to talk about a young man that I have never had the pleasure of facing. ‘The Soul of Philly’ himself, TJ! TJ, we were obviously both in APW around the same time, however we were always on different brands. Fought on different nights of the week. There was some serious fraternity lifestyle going on between the two brands. We were Overdrive people, you were Asylum people. Not saying one was better than the other, just that there was a clear divide. I’ll be honest with you, I really didn’t know much about you. I knew you were a champion at one point, but during that time I had my own championship to worry about. I knew you were doing some good things, but it really just didn’t move the needle for me.”
“But here we are now, in the new APW. No brands, hell, no championships. We’re all on an even landscape. Even with that though, you can’t feel like it’s quite even, can you? You’re a guy who fancies himself a wrestling fan, I get that. You’re living your dream, wrestling along some of the greatest competitors to ever lace them up. You had your big run in SCW when you got to see Doug E Fresh. Now you’re APW with competitors like Sally Talfourd, CJ Gates, Terry Marvin, and of course, me. Maybe I’m over-stating myself a little bit. I haven’t had quite the success of some of these others, but I’ve always been there with them. I’ve faced each other them and had a fucking blast doing it. Pushing each of them to their core. These are the people you look up to. These are the people that you want to hang with. So is it difficult for you to step up? Can you really be the big, brute, force you claim to be when it comes to the best of the best? Or are you, just like you’re city, fake?”
“You know, I’m sure I’m not the first one to bring down Philadelphia to you. When you call yourself ‘the soul’ of any place, people are going to routinely attack that place. But I had to go there myself. I’m a Northeast guy, I love history. I can hang out in downtown Boston by the State House and Old North Church any day. I love it. I like visiting New York, DC, Annapolis, all of these beautiful Northeastern cities. But I never really went to Philadelphia. I’ve driven through, sure, but never any reason to stop. I don’t care about the Rocky statue. I don’t care about canned cheese sandwiches. It’s all just people using fake things to seem special.”
“It makes me wonder if you’re the same way. You’re the soul of this city right? All these fake things and YOU’RE the soul. That must be tough. You know, just looking at you, it would be easy to fear you. You’re a big guy, you seem like you might be angry, maybe a little crazy. But now that I know your city, I know you. I remember back when Philadelphia was actually tough. I remember the ‘Broad Street Bullies’. I’ve always been more of a fan of the ‘Big Bad Bruins’, but no one can deny that back in the day, Philadelphia was fucking tough.”
“Unfortunately, that’s just not the case anymore. They Flyers aren’t a tough team, the Eagles are run by a nerd from Oregon, the Phillies are a laughing stock, and the 76ers make the Phillies look like the 1990’s Yankees. Philadelphia is a useless, washed up town. The founding fathers ran from the damn place so that the Nation’s capital wouldn’t have to be there. Maybe I’m being unfair to you just because you’re from the city. Maybe I’m extrapolating a little too much about you.”
“But maybe I’m not. Maybe you’re the same type of washed up, fake. We’re going to find out this weekend. It’s going to be a hell of a damn time in that ring. I washed off all the ring rust, I got my head right, got back into shape. I’m ready, I’m good to go. I don’t think I’ve lost a step. How about you? You ready to go toe to toe with one of the greatest technical wrestlers of the last fifteen years? We’ll find out.”
Mark Mania: Here we are in historic Philadelphia!
The camera pans around the area revealing a rather poor neighborhood in Philadelphia, then refocuses on Mark.
Mark Mania:What a dump!
The screen starts showing snap shots of Philadelphia; Independence Hall, the Liberty Bell, and finally the Rocky statue. The outline of the statue fades to a shot of Mark outside of Independence Hall.
Mark Mania:One can only imagine what type of person it takes to be called “The Soul of Philly”. You look around at all these wonderful historic areas and wonder why it isn’t a more important city. Here I stand at Independence Hall, one of the most historic buildings during the Revolutionary War. Think about it, the Declaration of Independence AND the US Constitution were both created in this hall. One would say it’s potentially the most significant building in the original thirteen colonies. Really, Independence Hall should’ve been the cornerstone of the capital of the United States. But once people realized what a trash hole this place was, despite all of its historic relevance, they got out of here so fast someone broke some bell or something.
The screen shows the Liberty Bell again.
Mark Mania:Well folks, I’m here to try and bring back the significance of Philadelphia. I feel like for too long people have been making fun of it for their only true hero being a fake person.
The screen shows Sylvester Stallone as “Rocky”.
Mark Mania:So I’m going to wander the streets of Philadelphia and see what people really think about this fair city.
The scene cuts to Mark with a microphone in his hand on the streets of Philadelphia.
Mark Mania:Hi, what’s your name?
Woman: Felicia Perez.
Mark Mania:Hi Felecia, are you from Philadelphia?
Felicia Perez: Yes, I’ve lived here for twenty-five years.
Mark gives her a look of disgust.
Mark Mania:That’s very nice Felicia, you’re doing God’s work. So, Felicia, do you know what happened at Independence Hall?
Felicia Perez: Yes, that’s where they came up with the Declaration of Independence.
Mark Mania:Very good Felicia! Obviously, that’s quite the accomplishment, how come more people don’t care?
Felicia Perez: Oh, I think a lot of people care.
Mark Mania:Before this, when was the last time you talked about it?
Felicia stares and thinks for a second. Mark starts to smile.
Mark Mania:It’s been a long time hasn’t it?
Felicia laughs back at Mark a little bit.
Felicia Perez: Maybe just a little.
Mark Mania:It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m from Boston and I never talk about the Boston Tea Party.
Felicia laughs and the scene cuts to Mark somewhere else in Philadelphia.
Mark Mania:Ok and now I’m here with…
Mark is standing next to an obviously drunk girl who reaches over and grabs the microphone from Mark’s hand.
Drunk Woman: MONICA!
She screams/slurs into the microphone.
Mark Mania:Haha! Yes, I’m here with Monica, who has apparently been day drinking.
Monica: Sunday Funday, woooo!!!
Mark Mania:Yes, Sunday Funday indeed. Monica, are you from Philadelphia?
Monica: Flip, flip, flip-a-delphia!
Mark Mania:I’m going to take that as a yes! Monica, what food is Philadelphia best known for?
Monica stumbles back and forth a little bit while she’s thinking. She looks at Mark and Mark starts to mouth “cheese steak”.
Monica: PHILLY CHEESE STEAK!
Mark Mania:That’s right! How do they make Philly cheese steaks so perfectly Philadelphia?
Monica: Welp, they, they, they use shaved pussy. Hahaha, no, no, shaved beef. Shaved beef… shaved beef.
Mark Mania:: Right, and what else?
Monica: They used shaved beef and a toasted bun and then cheese.
Mark Mania:What type of cheese?
Monica: Um, um, like that cheese from a can. The leaning tower of Cheese-ah!
Monica fakes squirting cheese out of a can onto her hand and then smashes her hand at her mouth like she just ate a tower of cheese.
Mark Mania:They use fake cheese from a can for the famous Philly cheese steak?
Monica: Yeah, but, but, yeah, it’s f-cking delicious.
Mark Mania:Thanks Monica, you’ve been great.
Monica gets this drunken flirty look on her face and tries to cuddle up to Mark.
Monica: Oh, yeah, I could be *hiccup* great.
Mark looks at her and laughs. The scene cuts out to Mark in front of the steps at the Philadelphia Museum of Art where the Rocky statue now sits.
Mark Mania:Here we are at the historic, “Rocky Steps”, and I’m here with an employee of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. What’s your name?
Man: My name is David Gloss.
Mark Mania:David, can you tell us a little bit about the Rocky statue and the Rocky steps?
David Gloss: Of course, in 1982, Sylvester Stallone commissioned a bronze statue of his character Rocky Balboa. One of these statues was originally placed at the stop of these steps here at the Museum of Art. It’s moved a few times, and now before the 2006, “Rocky Balboa”, it was moved back here at the base of the steps that he so famously ran up in Rocky III.
Mark looks at him in amazement.
Mark Mania:David, is it safe to say that the statue is the most popular attraction at the Philadelphia Museum of Art?
David Gloss: I’d say it’s probably the most often viewed and the one that a lot of people come here for. But we have a lot of great pieces of art in the Museum.
Mark Mania:Does it bother you at all that a fake character from a movie is the most viewed item at your museum?
David looks a little upset about this.
David Gloss: Anything that brings people to our fine city, I’m happy with.
Mark Mania:But, like, this was created by Sylvester Stallone, the same guy that’s making all those Expendables movies. Should his characters get a statue as well?
David Gloss: I think this was a one of a kind type of opportunity. That’s one of the most well-known scenes in movies, and this is a great way to commemorate it.
Mark Mania:You’re a great sport man. Do you want a job working for me? You’d be a hell of a PR guy.
David gives an unsure smile. Mark turns away from him.
Mark Mania:Well, there you have it, Philadelphia. A land of a broken bell, fake cheese, and fake statue. How inspiring!
The scene pulls out and the entire little segment had been on a TV that just shut off in Mark Mania’s office at Mania Headquarters in Boston, MA.
“Oh he’s not going to like that.” I say to my assistant, Margaret.
“I wouldn’t imagine so, sir.” She replies back. Always calls me sir. I like that. I used to feel old because of it. Now it just flows so smoothly.
“Well, might as well drive the point home. Margaret, start rolling the camera!”
Margaret gets up and starts the camera.
“So! It wasn’t just a one-off after-all eh? From the depths of hell, APW resurfaces! I feel like everyone had a little bit of an inclination when there was going to be a reunion show that the possibility of a full-time return was looming. I must say, I had a ton of fun that night. Granted, it didn’t go exactly as expected with CJ Gates. A man I used to think of as a friend completely cheap shot’ed me. But that’s fine. This is life. You can never really expect to have too many friends. With APW opening up, I’m sure CJ and I will have plenty of time to put this little disagreement behind us. I’ll most certainly find a way to get even with him.”
“We all know that I’m not here to talk about that bastard though. I’m here to talk about a young man that I have never had the pleasure of facing. ‘The Soul of Philly’ himself, TJ! TJ, we were obviously both in APW around the same time, however we were always on different brands. Fought on different nights of the week. There was some serious fraternity lifestyle going on between the two brands. We were Overdrive people, you were Asylum people. Not saying one was better than the other, just that there was a clear divide. I’ll be honest with you, I really didn’t know much about you. I knew you were a champion at one point, but during that time I had my own championship to worry about. I knew you were doing some good things, but it really just didn’t move the needle for me.”
“But here we are now, in the new APW. No brands, hell, no championships. We’re all on an even landscape. Even with that though, you can’t feel like it’s quite even, can you? You’re a guy who fancies himself a wrestling fan, I get that. You’re living your dream, wrestling along some of the greatest competitors to ever lace them up. You had your big run in SCW when you got to see Doug E Fresh. Now you’re APW with competitors like Sally Talfourd, CJ Gates, Terry Marvin, and of course, me. Maybe I’m over-stating myself a little bit. I haven’t had quite the success of some of these others, but I’ve always been there with them. I’ve faced each other them and had a fucking blast doing it. Pushing each of them to their core. These are the people you look up to. These are the people that you want to hang with. So is it difficult for you to step up? Can you really be the big, brute, force you claim to be when it comes to the best of the best? Or are you, just like you’re city, fake?”
“You know, I’m sure I’m not the first one to bring down Philadelphia to you. When you call yourself ‘the soul’ of any place, people are going to routinely attack that place. But I had to go there myself. I’m a Northeast guy, I love history. I can hang out in downtown Boston by the State House and Old North Church any day. I love it. I like visiting New York, DC, Annapolis, all of these beautiful Northeastern cities. But I never really went to Philadelphia. I’ve driven through, sure, but never any reason to stop. I don’t care about the Rocky statue. I don’t care about canned cheese sandwiches. It’s all just people using fake things to seem special.”
“It makes me wonder if you’re the same way. You’re the soul of this city right? All these fake things and YOU’RE the soul. That must be tough. You know, just looking at you, it would be easy to fear you. You’re a big guy, you seem like you might be angry, maybe a little crazy. But now that I know your city, I know you. I remember back when Philadelphia was actually tough. I remember the ‘Broad Street Bullies’. I’ve always been more of a fan of the ‘Big Bad Bruins’, but no one can deny that back in the day, Philadelphia was fucking tough.”
“Unfortunately, that’s just not the case anymore. They Flyers aren’t a tough team, the Eagles are run by a nerd from Oregon, the Phillies are a laughing stock, and the 76ers make the Phillies look like the 1990’s Yankees. Philadelphia is a useless, washed up town. The founding fathers ran from the damn place so that the Nation’s capital wouldn’t have to be there. Maybe I’m being unfair to you just because you’re from the city. Maybe I’m extrapolating a little too much about you.”
“But maybe I’m not. Maybe you’re the same type of washed up, fake. We’re going to find out this weekend. It’s going to be a hell of a damn time in that ring. I washed off all the ring rust, I got my head right, got back into shape. I’m ready, I’m good to go. I don’t think I’ve lost a step. How about you? You ready to go toe to toe with one of the greatest technical wrestlers of the last fifteen years? We’ll find out.”
