Post by Your JESUS on Dec 17, 2008 22:50:23 GMT -4
In the bright sun of Orlando, a photographer snaps a picture. His lens pointing toward the rather familiar sight of Sabur and Lil Dick. The pair are in the front of Disney World with tickets in hand. They have just arrived inside the park. The photographer hands Sabur the claim check for the picture, as he shoves it in his pocket.
Lil Dick: Dude...I'm so stoked...I can't believe we are here. In Russia we always heard about Disney, but now I am here...and I am the man, thanks Sabur....thank you so much.
Sabur: Easy kid...enough gushing...I figured we have had a hell of a year...so before closing it off in the triple threat I figured we could take moment to relax for a bit, clear our heads, and have some fun.
The two begin walking off into the land of happiness. Sabur unfolds a map, and begins reading it as they stroll along. The midget scampers over to a vendor cart. His eyes lit up like a child, He begins looking at all the Disney branded merchandise.
Lil Dick: Oh my Gosh....A Santa Goofy hat with light up ears...can I...oh please can I?
Sabur: Bro...your a groan ass man...you don't need my permission...but the fuckers.
The vendor looks at Sabur a little sour for his vulgar language. Lil Dick pulls out some cash and buys himself a set of light up Goofy ears. He then places them on his head, leaps into the air, kicking his heals together. (I think every midget knows how to do that...at least in my mind)
Sabur: So what do you want to ride first...the Madahorn...Space Mountain...what, just name it.
Lil Dick: Uhh...I think...oh shit...theres Mickey.
The midget scurries over with the children crowded around the popular mouse. His eyes glazed over with joy. Sabur runs over to catch up, and watch Lil Dick admire a man in a mouse suit.
Lil Dick: Sabur...come on...lets take our picture with him.
Sabur: Dude...it's not really Mickey...he's a low life in a mouse suit...no way.
The kids gathered around Mickey look crushed as Sabur just shattered their reality. Lil Dick gives Sabur a look like a child who is not leaving until they get their way.
Sabur: Fine...fucking Mickey is shitty, Buzzlightyear is the man...not some faggy mouse.
Sabur walks over to Mickey, and place an arm around him. Lil Dick cuddles up with belly of the mouse suit. The photographer prepares to take the picture. Just as a the flash of the camera goes off, a voice whispers out of the mouse suit.
"I don't know what you heard, but I'm looks like your the fag"
Sabur looks at Mickey rather confused.
Sabur: What was that Mousekateer...
Mickey: You heard me...your the fag...monkey brains.
Sabur looks down at Lil Dick. The midget shrugs his shoulders.
Lil Dick: You kind of started it.
Sabur: Fuck that...I heard about his type...
Mickey: Oh no you didn't...what do you mean my type...
Sabur: You know exactly what I mean...
The mouse gets in the face of Sabur, begins talking shit to the man beast. His ears flopping, and giant white gloves waving in the air. Sabur jaws back at the mouse, as Lil Dick backs up a bit, and scoots children back.
Sabur: Fuck that...Pete was the man...always was taking Minnie from your bitch ass...
Mickey: Whoa BIG BOY...I have been workin'...and I WILL SO MURDER YOU!
Sabur: Bring it on bitch...I'm going to shove that tail right up your mousy ass.
Just the Mickey swats at Sabur with the huge white hand. It smacks Sabur right in the face. Mickey the does a foot shuffle, and throws two jabs to the face of Sabur. The Human Wrecking Machine looks stunned at what just went down, then shrugs his shoulders...and levels Mickey with a Lager Liner. The mouse hits the pavement. Sabur kicks him a few times, then proceeds to shove his tail exactly where he said he would.
At this time children are screaming because some big bad man has assaulted Mickey Mouse. Then in a flash it was as if Mickey triggered a silent character alarm. Dudes in costumes began running to the scene. The first on sight was Stitch, the blue alien. He scampers over, leaps off a park bench and lands on the back of Sabur. The man cow reaches over his head as blue stuffed claws try to maul his face. Sabur grabs a hold of the head on Stitch and flings him to the ground. Lil Dick noticing Sabur in need of some assistance runs over drop kicking the alien as he tries to rise. Then Chip and Dale run up, with their wide hips wiggling from the suits shaking back and forth. Lil Dick smiles at the pair, kicks one in his acorns, and offers up a right to the others gut.
By this time Mickey tries to get to his feet, Sabur scoops him up on his shoulders, and whips him around with a House of Pain. Goofy runs in seeing his good old pal Mickey getting violently dropped to the concrete. Sabur then catches giant boot in the face as Goofy nails him with a super kick. The big man goes down to a knee. Goofy strikes a Michael Lively pose, then motions for Sabur to bring it on. The monster surely does just that. He drives through Goofy with a spear. Out of nowhere Bulu from Jungle Book runs in pounding the back of Sabur, then kicks him in the head. The man beast hits the ground rolls to his back looking up. The master of Bear necessities drops down in a full MMA mount on top of Sabur, and begins reigning down punches on the Irish Hammer. Sabur covers up trying to defend him self. Lil Dick flies him like a Chucky doll latching onto the neck of the blue bear. He stands trying to fend off an angry midget. Sabur quickly gets to his feet looking for the next attack. It came in the form of Captain Hook. He cracks Sabur from behind with his sword. Sabur turns and Hook gives him just that in the eye. Sabur covers up, blinded by the jab from Pan's nightmare. Hook runs over to the planter, grabs out a piece of bamboo, and cracks Sabur right over the head. The stick splits into pieces as Sabur drops to one knee. He looks up at Hook and doesn't see the child hood villain. No, Sabur only sees Trevor Blackwell now as he just received a faux cane shot. Sabur gets to his feet, snatches up Hook, pops his hips, and flips him to the ground with a t-bone suplex.
Security runs on the scene, and I mean a shit load. Tasser's get whipped out, and planted on the rabid midget. He flops to the ground from the electric shock. Sabur catches a full can of mace to the face. Their wrists zip tied quickly behind their back. The scene around looks like a cartoon explosion Mickey out cold, Chip and Dale lying on the ground groaning. Captain Hook and Goofy folded in half, and unconscious. Sabur and his Lil Dick are placed on securities golf cart.
Sabur: THAT FUCKING MOUSE IS OUT OF CONTROL.
Security Officer: Whatever...I heard you started it.
Sabur: Fuck that...thats smart out Meece was the one...ooohh...if I wasn't zip tied...I'd go give him...
Security Officer: Are we going to have to tasser you as well?
Sabur: Naw...I'll cool it.
Security Officer: Whats this midget on...he's foaming at the mouth.
Sabur: That's how he gets when he's rilled up, and like I said....if you'd back round check your Mickey's before you let them loose on the public. I swear that mouse was on dust...he had super strength.
The security officer shakes his head at the APW world champion. Lil Dick is out cold next to the big man. They get carted off, and processed by the police of Orlando.
IN THE POKY
The clanging across the bars of a cup rings out. Lil Dick is seen leaning against the bars, running the cup across trying to stay sane inside the lock up that him and Sabur are in.
Sabur: Dude...enough...you've been doing that for like an hour already...I'm going to loose it.
Lil Dick: Whatever...you totally ruined my trip to Disney World.
Sabur: Fuck that...Mickey ruined your trip and you remember that. Thats mouse got what was coming to him...you can't run off at the lip like that to a man beast like me...smart ass mouse...serves him right.
Lil Dick: Well, whats your plan...you have to defend your world title against Trevor and Matt in like two days. We are stuck inside a jail in Florida...wait a go asshole.
Sabur: Listen fuck face...if you weren't such a mark for Mickey, and just rode the rides...maybe I wouldn't of had to stick his tail up his ass.
Lil Dick: What ever...how are we going to get out of here. If you don't make it to the PPV...they will probably strip you of the title.
Sabur: I'm thinking...I know my lawyer is out of the country for the holidays...so that won't work. I'm not sure.
The two begin bickering for a bit. Then they break out into silence, to stew over their frustration of the situation. Just then Sabur hears the sweet sounds of a harmonica. He looks over and sees Lil Dick playing the instrument.
Sabur: Where did you get that.
Lil Dick: I've always had this tattoo.
Sabur: No jackass...the harmonica...where did you get it.
Lil Dick: It was on that desk, next to the keys.
Sabur: So exactly how did you get it from the desk where the keys are.
Lil Dick: Like this.
The midget then slides between the bars walking out of the cell over to the desk. He then returns to the cell and begins humming into the instrument once again.
Sabur: Hey dick brains...why don't you get the keys...and let us out of here.
Lil Dick: Cause it's illegal.
Sabur: So is buying a midget on the internet...that never stopped me before...now go get those keys cock face.
Lil Dick: Whatever...fucking cum sniffer.
The midget walks over grabbing the keys, and unlocks the cell.
Lil Dick: Now what...we still have to make it out of the station.
Sabur: Dude..you ever watch Dukes of Hazard...the guy's asleep at his desk..guaranteed. We tip toe past him, head for the door, and high tail it for freedom...hooping and hollering the whole way...jump in a car, and blare the horn.
Lil Dick: That sounds fucking retarded.
Sabur: Fuck off that show was a classic...and Bo Duke would rustle you to the surface.
Lil Dick: Sounds like he's a fag...like rustling on midgets.
Sabur: Don't you badmouth Bo...take it back.
Lil Dick: Fine...Bo is ultra rugged...now lets get out of here.
The two make their way through the station. Sure enough the guard is fast asleep at his desk. Sabur smiles at his Lil Dick, as he tip toes over to the desk. The big man lightly grabs the keys to his cruiser off of his hip. They then tip toe out the door. Sabur sees the cop car...and darts off to it.
Sabur: YEEE HAWWW!!!
He leaps out to slide across the hood, instead makes a huge dent right in to hood and is stopped cold.
Sabur: Fuck...that didn't work like I hoped.
Lil Dick: Come on Daisy lets go before we get clinked up again.
The two enter the car, strap on their seat belts, and burn rubber down the street. Sabur begins honking the horn and yelling out the window.
Lil Dick: Are you trying to wake the cop up...I mean maybe you should have slapped him on the neck as we were running out...fucking gimme a break.
Sabur: Your no fun.
Lil Dick: No fun...I tried to have fun...at Disney World...and somebody had to royal rumble with Mickey and friends.
Sabur: Yeah chock it up as a nice work out...some match preparation I guess.
Lil Dick: Match prep...you beat down some teenagers, and pedophiles dressed in character suits...hardly gets you ready to go to war with Trevor and Matt.
Sabur: So you are here telling me with a straight face, that smashing a few dudes dressed in Disney costumes doesn't prepare me for a Long Island Death Match. I sure figured dealing out an ass whooping to Mickey Mouse, and Goofy would have gotten me extremely ready to handle Trevor and Matt.
Lil Dick: You can't be serious...
Sabur: FUCK YEAH I AM. Listen Dr. Matt is the APW's Goofy. He gets plenty of camera time, sells some merch, but doesn't quite have what it takes to be the face of the company. His job is to take the nasty bumps to drive the fans wild. He is tough as nails, and take a ton of abuse. He is an under payed, over abused stunt man that couldn't hack it in Hollywood, and come to the ring to make a few bucks. Simply put Dr. Matt is the Mick Foley of the next Generation. No true talent, or real skill inside the ring. He offers up some humor, and then gets the living shit kicked out of him. This type of guy works well in the industry, appeals to a few fans, and puts the real talent over. Seriously this bastard can take a lick, and keep getting up for more. I mean it's that never say die attitude that projected me to the top, and put me over as a killer. I mean I almost had to murder this asshole to keep get the three count. Never was I in Jeopardy against him, just dealing with the frustration of a guy who is too stupid to stay down. Well Dick if the Goofy of APW wishes to test his cartoon imortality...he will realize like in the chamber there can be only one...that one is Me.
Lil Dick: Alright, but how can you say Trevor is like Mickey Mouse.
Sabur: Simple my tiny friend. Mickey Mouse is beloved....The fans love that sick fuck Trevor Blackwell...they love every time he enters an arena, every time he cracks someone with that cane....they flip out when he strikes the crucifix pose. Mickey is the face of Disney, and since APW started Trevor has been some what of the face in APW...you see Trevor Blackwell...and first you think violence...second APW. I mean even lately he's got this broad running around with him...thats his Miney. Every Mickey has a Minnie.Mickey is a hero, and Trevor claims to be just that for the APW faithful.
Just then the car darts off the road, into the brush. Dust billows into the air, as the brakes lock up on the vehicle. The cop car slides to a halt.
Sabur: Well hang here for a minute...in the show...the cops always come screaming down the road...while the Duke boys hand out in the brush waiting for the coast to clear. Now where was I?
Lil Dick: Well, I think you were going on about how Trevor Blackwell is the Mickey Mouse of APW.
Sabur: Yeah...you see Dick, I have a shit load of respect for Trevor. He helped make me into the killer I have become. Molded me into championship material. Hell for that fact alone he is boosted into the hero status even more. Well Dick, where there is a hero...you will find a tragedy. Sadly this title shot at the highest prize in the industry will be just like all his others...with the hero falling short of his goal. Once more Trevor will watch the champ hold the title high at the top of the ramp, as he stays in the ring playing to the fans. Waiting for his ovation, his salute from the die hards that love him so dearly. The ones that support him through thick and thin. I have stuck by Trevor through thick and thin as well. I was a member of his stable, I was there when his bother Tony fucked things up. I was there when Kenny and him went through their turmoil. I was a loyal solider for the Sex and Violence/Church of Kaos war. Tony jumped ship, but the Irish Hammer was there. When Trevor left...I tried to watch over his brother...cleanse from the toxin that Kenny tried to poisoned him with. Simply put Dick...as you know..me and the Career Killer have a long history together here in APW.
Lil Dick: Yeah...and if I remember correctly...he has beaten you....while you have never beaten him.
Sabur: Nice...that was real classy you short fuck. Listen...I am a different wrestler then I was before. I have grown in and out of the ring. My skills have been honed...my power increased.
Lil Dick: Yeah...that juice is a hell of a product.
Sabur: Whatever...I have never failed a drug test ever...anyways. In Long Island New York...the fans will see APW's Goofy come in, takes some bumps, some nasty falls, maybe bleed a bit, and damn near lose his life...only to be stretchered out...give a thumbs up...and not be crowned a champion once more.
Lil Dick chuckles as across the radio in the cop car comes the dispatcher.
Dispatcher: All units be on the look out for unit number three sixty six, thats unit three sixty six. The unit was stolen by a large muscle bound man with pale skin, and a cow like face.
Sabur looks at his Lil Dick a little displeased with the dispatchers description of him.
Dispatcher: Please not that this man is armed and dangerous...that was armed and dangerous. He has a loaded midget with him....that was a loaded midget....proceed with caution.
Lil Dick: It's dwarf...you can't just go calling me a midget across the police band. I am so suing that bitch.
Sabur: Easy....we have to make it to New York....in the city of Long Island...the home town hero will in deed experience tragedy...at the hands of the Irish Hammer.
The car then fires up, bolts back onto the road, leaving a trail of dirt, and burnt rubber tracks on the pavement.
Lil Dick: Dude...I'm so stoked...I can't believe we are here. In Russia we always heard about Disney, but now I am here...and I am the man, thanks Sabur....thank you so much.
Sabur: Easy kid...enough gushing...I figured we have had a hell of a year...so before closing it off in the triple threat I figured we could take moment to relax for a bit, clear our heads, and have some fun.
The two begin walking off into the land of happiness. Sabur unfolds a map, and begins reading it as they stroll along. The midget scampers over to a vendor cart. His eyes lit up like a child, He begins looking at all the Disney branded merchandise.
Lil Dick: Oh my Gosh....A Santa Goofy hat with light up ears...can I...oh please can I?
Sabur: Bro...your a groan ass man...you don't need my permission...but the fuckers.
The vendor looks at Sabur a little sour for his vulgar language. Lil Dick pulls out some cash and buys himself a set of light up Goofy ears. He then places them on his head, leaps into the air, kicking his heals together. (I think every midget knows how to do that...at least in my mind)
Sabur: So what do you want to ride first...the Madahorn...Space Mountain...what, just name it.
Lil Dick: Uhh...I think...oh shit...theres Mickey.
The midget scurries over with the children crowded around the popular mouse. His eyes glazed over with joy. Sabur runs over to catch up, and watch Lil Dick admire a man in a mouse suit.
Lil Dick: Sabur...come on...lets take our picture with him.
Sabur: Dude...it's not really Mickey...he's a low life in a mouse suit...no way.
The kids gathered around Mickey look crushed as Sabur just shattered their reality. Lil Dick gives Sabur a look like a child who is not leaving until they get their way.
Sabur: Fine...fucking Mickey is shitty, Buzzlightyear is the man...not some faggy mouse.
Sabur walks over to Mickey, and place an arm around him. Lil Dick cuddles up with belly of the mouse suit. The photographer prepares to take the picture. Just as a the flash of the camera goes off, a voice whispers out of the mouse suit.
"I don't know what you heard, but I'm looks like your the fag"
Sabur looks at Mickey rather confused.
Sabur: What was that Mousekateer...
Mickey: You heard me...your the fag...monkey brains.
Sabur looks down at Lil Dick. The midget shrugs his shoulders.
Lil Dick: You kind of started it.
Sabur: Fuck that...I heard about his type...
Mickey: Oh no you didn't...what do you mean my type...
Sabur: You know exactly what I mean...
The mouse gets in the face of Sabur, begins talking shit to the man beast. His ears flopping, and giant white gloves waving in the air. Sabur jaws back at the mouse, as Lil Dick backs up a bit, and scoots children back.
Sabur: Fuck that...Pete was the man...always was taking Minnie from your bitch ass...
Mickey: Whoa BIG BOY...I have been workin'...and I WILL SO MURDER YOU!
Sabur: Bring it on bitch...I'm going to shove that tail right up your mousy ass.
Just the Mickey swats at Sabur with the huge white hand. It smacks Sabur right in the face. Mickey the does a foot shuffle, and throws two jabs to the face of Sabur. The Human Wrecking Machine looks stunned at what just went down, then shrugs his shoulders...and levels Mickey with a Lager Liner. The mouse hits the pavement. Sabur kicks him a few times, then proceeds to shove his tail exactly where he said he would.
At this time children are screaming because some big bad man has assaulted Mickey Mouse. Then in a flash it was as if Mickey triggered a silent character alarm. Dudes in costumes began running to the scene. The first on sight was Stitch, the blue alien. He scampers over, leaps off a park bench and lands on the back of Sabur. The man cow reaches over his head as blue stuffed claws try to maul his face. Sabur grabs a hold of the head on Stitch and flings him to the ground. Lil Dick noticing Sabur in need of some assistance runs over drop kicking the alien as he tries to rise. Then Chip and Dale run up, with their wide hips wiggling from the suits shaking back and forth. Lil Dick smiles at the pair, kicks one in his acorns, and offers up a right to the others gut.
By this time Mickey tries to get to his feet, Sabur scoops him up on his shoulders, and whips him around with a House of Pain. Goofy runs in seeing his good old pal Mickey getting violently dropped to the concrete. Sabur then catches giant boot in the face as Goofy nails him with a super kick. The big man goes down to a knee. Goofy strikes a Michael Lively pose, then motions for Sabur to bring it on. The monster surely does just that. He drives through Goofy with a spear. Out of nowhere Bulu from Jungle Book runs in pounding the back of Sabur, then kicks him in the head. The man beast hits the ground rolls to his back looking up. The master of Bear necessities drops down in a full MMA mount on top of Sabur, and begins reigning down punches on the Irish Hammer. Sabur covers up trying to defend him self. Lil Dick flies him like a Chucky doll latching onto the neck of the blue bear. He stands trying to fend off an angry midget. Sabur quickly gets to his feet looking for the next attack. It came in the form of Captain Hook. He cracks Sabur from behind with his sword. Sabur turns and Hook gives him just that in the eye. Sabur covers up, blinded by the jab from Pan's nightmare. Hook runs over to the planter, grabs out a piece of bamboo, and cracks Sabur right over the head. The stick splits into pieces as Sabur drops to one knee. He looks up at Hook and doesn't see the child hood villain. No, Sabur only sees Trevor Blackwell now as he just received a faux cane shot. Sabur gets to his feet, snatches up Hook, pops his hips, and flips him to the ground with a t-bone suplex.
Security runs on the scene, and I mean a shit load. Tasser's get whipped out, and planted on the rabid midget. He flops to the ground from the electric shock. Sabur catches a full can of mace to the face. Their wrists zip tied quickly behind their back. The scene around looks like a cartoon explosion Mickey out cold, Chip and Dale lying on the ground groaning. Captain Hook and Goofy folded in half, and unconscious. Sabur and his Lil Dick are placed on securities golf cart.
Sabur: THAT FUCKING MOUSE IS OUT OF CONTROL.
Security Officer: Whatever...I heard you started it.
Sabur: Fuck that...thats smart out Meece was the one...ooohh...if I wasn't zip tied...I'd go give him...
Security Officer: Are we going to have to tasser you as well?
Sabur: Naw...I'll cool it.
Security Officer: Whats this midget on...he's foaming at the mouth.
Sabur: That's how he gets when he's rilled up, and like I said....if you'd back round check your Mickey's before you let them loose on the public. I swear that mouse was on dust...he had super strength.
The security officer shakes his head at the APW world champion. Lil Dick is out cold next to the big man. They get carted off, and processed by the police of Orlando.
IN THE POKY
The clanging across the bars of a cup rings out. Lil Dick is seen leaning against the bars, running the cup across trying to stay sane inside the lock up that him and Sabur are in.
Sabur: Dude...enough...you've been doing that for like an hour already...I'm going to loose it.
Lil Dick: Whatever...you totally ruined my trip to Disney World.
Sabur: Fuck that...Mickey ruined your trip and you remember that. Thats mouse got what was coming to him...you can't run off at the lip like that to a man beast like me...smart ass mouse...serves him right.
Lil Dick: Well, whats your plan...you have to defend your world title against Trevor and Matt in like two days. We are stuck inside a jail in Florida...wait a go asshole.
Sabur: Listen fuck face...if you weren't such a mark for Mickey, and just rode the rides...maybe I wouldn't of had to stick his tail up his ass.
Lil Dick: What ever...how are we going to get out of here. If you don't make it to the PPV...they will probably strip you of the title.
Sabur: I'm thinking...I know my lawyer is out of the country for the holidays...so that won't work. I'm not sure.
The two begin bickering for a bit. Then they break out into silence, to stew over their frustration of the situation. Just then Sabur hears the sweet sounds of a harmonica. He looks over and sees Lil Dick playing the instrument.
Sabur: Where did you get that.
Lil Dick: I've always had this tattoo.
Sabur: No jackass...the harmonica...where did you get it.
Lil Dick: It was on that desk, next to the keys.
Sabur: So exactly how did you get it from the desk where the keys are.
Lil Dick: Like this.
The midget then slides between the bars walking out of the cell over to the desk. He then returns to the cell and begins humming into the instrument once again.
Sabur: Hey dick brains...why don't you get the keys...and let us out of here.
Lil Dick: Cause it's illegal.
Sabur: So is buying a midget on the internet...that never stopped me before...now go get those keys cock face.
Lil Dick: Whatever...fucking cum sniffer.
The midget walks over grabbing the keys, and unlocks the cell.
Lil Dick: Now what...we still have to make it out of the station.
Sabur: Dude..you ever watch Dukes of Hazard...the guy's asleep at his desk..guaranteed. We tip toe past him, head for the door, and high tail it for freedom...hooping and hollering the whole way...jump in a car, and blare the horn.
Lil Dick: That sounds fucking retarded.
Sabur: Fuck off that show was a classic...and Bo Duke would rustle you to the surface.
Lil Dick: Sounds like he's a fag...like rustling on midgets.
Sabur: Don't you badmouth Bo...take it back.
Lil Dick: Fine...Bo is ultra rugged...now lets get out of here.
The two make their way through the station. Sure enough the guard is fast asleep at his desk. Sabur smiles at his Lil Dick, as he tip toes over to the desk. The big man lightly grabs the keys to his cruiser off of his hip. They then tip toe out the door. Sabur sees the cop car...and darts off to it.
Sabur: YEEE HAWWW!!!
He leaps out to slide across the hood, instead makes a huge dent right in to hood and is stopped cold.
Sabur: Fuck...that didn't work like I hoped.
Lil Dick: Come on Daisy lets go before we get clinked up again.
The two enter the car, strap on their seat belts, and burn rubber down the street. Sabur begins honking the horn and yelling out the window.
Lil Dick: Are you trying to wake the cop up...I mean maybe you should have slapped him on the neck as we were running out...fucking gimme a break.
Sabur: Your no fun.
Lil Dick: No fun...I tried to have fun...at Disney World...and somebody had to royal rumble with Mickey and friends.
Sabur: Yeah chock it up as a nice work out...some match preparation I guess.
Lil Dick: Match prep...you beat down some teenagers, and pedophiles dressed in character suits...hardly gets you ready to go to war with Trevor and Matt.
Sabur: So you are here telling me with a straight face, that smashing a few dudes dressed in Disney costumes doesn't prepare me for a Long Island Death Match. I sure figured dealing out an ass whooping to Mickey Mouse, and Goofy would have gotten me extremely ready to handle Trevor and Matt.
Lil Dick: You can't be serious...
Sabur: FUCK YEAH I AM. Listen Dr. Matt is the APW's Goofy. He gets plenty of camera time, sells some merch, but doesn't quite have what it takes to be the face of the company. His job is to take the nasty bumps to drive the fans wild. He is tough as nails, and take a ton of abuse. He is an under payed, over abused stunt man that couldn't hack it in Hollywood, and come to the ring to make a few bucks. Simply put Dr. Matt is the Mick Foley of the next Generation. No true talent, or real skill inside the ring. He offers up some humor, and then gets the living shit kicked out of him. This type of guy works well in the industry, appeals to a few fans, and puts the real talent over. Seriously this bastard can take a lick, and keep getting up for more. I mean it's that never say die attitude that projected me to the top, and put me over as a killer. I mean I almost had to murder this asshole to keep get the three count. Never was I in Jeopardy against him, just dealing with the frustration of a guy who is too stupid to stay down. Well Dick if the Goofy of APW wishes to test his cartoon imortality...he will realize like in the chamber there can be only one...that one is Me.
Lil Dick: Alright, but how can you say Trevor is like Mickey Mouse.
Sabur: Simple my tiny friend. Mickey Mouse is beloved....The fans love that sick fuck Trevor Blackwell...they love every time he enters an arena, every time he cracks someone with that cane....they flip out when he strikes the crucifix pose. Mickey is the face of Disney, and since APW started Trevor has been some what of the face in APW...you see Trevor Blackwell...and first you think violence...second APW. I mean even lately he's got this broad running around with him...thats his Miney. Every Mickey has a Minnie.Mickey is a hero, and Trevor claims to be just that for the APW faithful.
Just then the car darts off the road, into the brush. Dust billows into the air, as the brakes lock up on the vehicle. The cop car slides to a halt.
Sabur: Well hang here for a minute...in the show...the cops always come screaming down the road...while the Duke boys hand out in the brush waiting for the coast to clear. Now where was I?
Lil Dick: Well, I think you were going on about how Trevor Blackwell is the Mickey Mouse of APW.
Sabur: Yeah...you see Dick, I have a shit load of respect for Trevor. He helped make me into the killer I have become. Molded me into championship material. Hell for that fact alone he is boosted into the hero status even more. Well Dick, where there is a hero...you will find a tragedy. Sadly this title shot at the highest prize in the industry will be just like all his others...with the hero falling short of his goal. Once more Trevor will watch the champ hold the title high at the top of the ramp, as he stays in the ring playing to the fans. Waiting for his ovation, his salute from the die hards that love him so dearly. The ones that support him through thick and thin. I have stuck by Trevor through thick and thin as well. I was a member of his stable, I was there when his bother Tony fucked things up. I was there when Kenny and him went through their turmoil. I was a loyal solider for the Sex and Violence/Church of Kaos war. Tony jumped ship, but the Irish Hammer was there. When Trevor left...I tried to watch over his brother...cleanse from the toxin that Kenny tried to poisoned him with. Simply put Dick...as you know..me and the Career Killer have a long history together here in APW.
Lil Dick: Yeah...and if I remember correctly...he has beaten you....while you have never beaten him.
Sabur: Nice...that was real classy you short fuck. Listen...I am a different wrestler then I was before. I have grown in and out of the ring. My skills have been honed...my power increased.
Lil Dick: Yeah...that juice is a hell of a product.
Sabur: Whatever...I have never failed a drug test ever...anyways. In Long Island New York...the fans will see APW's Goofy come in, takes some bumps, some nasty falls, maybe bleed a bit, and damn near lose his life...only to be stretchered out...give a thumbs up...and not be crowned a champion once more.
Lil Dick chuckles as across the radio in the cop car comes the dispatcher.
Dispatcher: All units be on the look out for unit number three sixty six, thats unit three sixty six. The unit was stolen by a large muscle bound man with pale skin, and a cow like face.
Sabur looks at his Lil Dick a little displeased with the dispatchers description of him.
Dispatcher: Please not that this man is armed and dangerous...that was armed and dangerous. He has a loaded midget with him....that was a loaded midget....proceed with caution.
Lil Dick: It's dwarf...you can't just go calling me a midget across the police band. I am so suing that bitch.
Sabur: Easy....we have to make it to New York....in the city of Long Island...the home town hero will in deed experience tragedy...at the hands of the Irish Hammer.
The car then fires up, bolts back onto the road, leaving a trail of dirt, and burnt rubber tracks on the pavement.
