Post by Streets Wilson on Dec 22, 2008 3:23:35 GMT -4
(The screen turns a dark red. Suddenly, a rather… overly raspy voice kicks in, familiar to anyone who’s ever seen a movie trailer)
“He has shed blood in over 4 different countries.”
“He has held championship gold in every organization he has ever been associated with”
“He has literally personally retired at least 3 different superstars”
“He loves Honey Bunches of Oates”
“His name is synonymous with words such as violence, fear… and … (the voice is cut off)”
(The screen goes blank……. When it comes back into focus Streets Wilson himself is dancing enthusiastically to the sounds of women and children screaming, tossing wads of cash into the air as he smiles towards the screen… then slowly there is darkness again…)
(When the screen refocuses. The scene is now completely different, and consists of 2 office workers, having a conversation in the workplace. Their name tags identify them as “Ted” and “Steve”)
Ted: Have you been watching APW lately?
Steve: No…
Ted : Remember that guy Streets Wilson?
Steve : !!!!! What the fuck do you mean remember that guy Streets Wilson? I caught him banging my wife 2 days ago, and when I confronted him about it,
(He gets a very serious look on his face)
Steve: HE SLICED OFF MY LEFT PINKY RIGHT THEN AND THERE!!!!
(He holds his left hand up to reveal the mangled spectacle.)
Ted (with a horrified look on his face) : FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!
-----------------
(Finally, the scene reopens one final time, to reveal Streets Wilson himself, sitting comfortably atop a golden throne. The arms on the chairs are shaped as a females breasts. Wilson himself is surrounded by several beautiful women, feeding him grapes and tending to his every whim. As usual, he is waiting for a scheduled interview with some sort of a local news station.)
Streets Wilson: Yeah well… I don’t know, the bitch said she would be here…
(one of the unidentified women answer)
Random Ho: Well I’m hungry
Streets Wilson: I don’t give a rats ass… Go to the fridge
Random Ho: But we’re on this STUPID promo set… Where am I supposed to find a fridge?
Streets Wilson: BITCH! Don’t complain to me, can’t you see I’m sitting on a golden throne?
(The woman walks away muttering something under her breath as she does so.)
(Streets turns towards the camera screen)
Streets Wilson: you know, sometimes I wish these ho’s would just back up off me…
(The surrounding women seem to be annoyed by the last statement as they all get up rather abruptly and begin to walk towards the exit)
Streets Wilson: hey wait… I was just trying to get in my token “ghetto line” of the evening… come back…
(The women continue to walk out the front door)
(the camera pans back to Streets, who is now breaking up a potent green substance into a rolling paper)
Streets Wilson (as he looks up): Pshhh… like I give a shit…
(he finishes breaking it up and rolls it up in one smooth motion. He presses a hidden button on the side of his golden throne and a single pillar of flame shoots up from the left arm. He quickly lights the joint before the flame dies down again.)
Streets Wilson: They think the’re so damn special..
(he looks towards the door they had just exited from)
Streets Wilson: … I’m a fucking STAR you dumb whores… A STAR
(He brings the J up to his lips and begins to inhale deeply.)
Streets Wilson (as he is holding the hit in): As if I don’t have women lining up at the door… I’m Streets Wilson…
(he exhales, smiling: deep in thought… obviously happy about the fact that he is, in fact: Streets Wilson)
(he continues talking to the audience)
Streets Wilson: yes, welcome… This IS my mansion, located in the heart of Stamford, Connecticut. I call this … the golden throne room. It is equipped with several different underground escape routes… used for those sticky situations I seem to always get myself into while cutting a promo…
(just then, the door swings open and a woman of Asian descent walks inside looking rather confident. An obese cameraman follows her. She walks right up to Streets Wilson and shoves the mic near his face)
Reporter: Alright… (she adjusts an unseen earpiece) start rolling Tony…
(“Tony” begins counting down from 5. 4. 3. (Streets Wilson can be seen in the backround noticing the fat cameraman)
Streets Wilson: WHOA!
( 2 .1)
Reporter: This is Trisha Takinowa from Channel 6 news… and I’m not a fan of those Jews...
(Streets Wilson looks on in utter shock and confusion… his eyes halfway bug out of his head as takes another drag of his “medicine”)
Trisha: I’m standing here with the legendary Streets Wilson, who recently just made his triumphant return to the APW by DDT-ing one half of the current tag team champions. How do you feel Mr. Wilson?
(Streets just looks back at her, puffing the joint and answering with nothing but a cold stare)
Trisha: um…
Streets Wilson: I’ll tell you how I feel (he begins inhaling the smoke at a frantic pace now… within seconds it is already finished and he quickly puts the roach out… mashing the cherry into the arm of his golden throne..) I feel as if I am the fucking man. Former Xtreme Champion, and no doubt the most dangerous and feared superstar to ever compete, and I’m back. WOOO, just when you thought it was safe to walk the streets again…
(He removes his sunglasses dramatically)
Streets Wilson: … IT ISN’T
(Someone in the background can be heard gasping loudly as Wilson places the glasses back on his face)
Trisha (sporting a sideways glance to her incredibly FAT camera-man off screen): Well.. it IS a long anticipated return. Now, your jumping right back in where you left off, right in the middle of the fray.
Streets Wilson (almost completely ignoring the reporter): Its true, but Streets Wilson doesn’t need to explain why he belongs in PPV title matches… Everyone already knows who Streets Wilson is. You may know me as the man who retired Iggy “The Iguana”.
(he begins to laugh out loud)
Streets Wilson: You can thank me later… There's really no need to even get into it, your all scared of the streets. I “was” the Xtreme Champion you know… maybe only for like a week… But shit happens like that, I’m not a machine dammit. I fought HARD for that title… I’m no stranger to fighting for whats rightfully mine. But behind the scenes I was tired of it. I was tired of coming out week after week, having serious, hard fought battles, and probably giving the performance of my life… But I finally got what I after for so long… BUT THEN Guess what? .. BLAM!
(Trisha lets out a squeal)
Streets Wilson: it was gone in an instant…
Trisha: Oh my… care to comment on that?
Streets Wilson: Fuck you…
Streets Wilson: I can’t just have a fucking “Tree House of Horrors” match, beat a man into retirement, and be expected to defend my championship a few days later without some serious physical consequences… And even though I am worshiped as a divine being in some small African Tribes, I am not LITERALLY a god. Shit happens to me like anybody else. Shit like what happened to me is unheard of in this buisness. I FINALLY won that Extreme Title. Greuling battle after grueling battle I LOST to that human waste Iggy The Iguana… Wait a second though…
(He scratches his head)
Streets Wilson: What happened at the end of that trilogy of matches again?
(He looks around as if he’s really expecting an answer)
Streets Wilson: Oh yeah, that’s right…. I PUT THAT FOOL DOWN, JUST LIKE I SAID I WOULD.
(He smiles… obviously satisfied with himself)
Streets Wilson: It’s not like I couldn’t be World Champion at any point in time I want anyway, I’m sure almost everyone remembers that “Rage in the Cage” tournament or whatever the hell it was a couple PPV’s back, I chose not to enter that, because I had already given my word that I would utterly destroy an individual. Now… I could’ve went on to just waltz right into the picture, and no doubt I’d have that World Title in a matter of weeks if that’s what I chose to do. But no… I decided I needed to do something a little bit more meaningful that championship belts. This is a recurring scenario with me… Its not a gimmick. When Streets Wilson destroys someone… their gone… you can’t find them anymore…
(He pauses)
Streets Wilson: You can all think back and remember what a useless nuisance Iggy was… but also remember this… that waste was undefeated until the streets brought him to his knees. I wouldn’t be surprised if after this upcoming match: you’ll probably see Twister working at the local Wal-mart after I’m through with him.
(he begins to laugh out loud)
Streets Wilson: So anyway bottom line is, I said what I was going to do, then I straight up did it. That’s what Streets Wilson does. but did I get enjoy it? NO. I was booked in another match… what? 3 days later or some shit? I wasn’t competing in just some vagina-like regular division. I was competing in EXTREME matches. Yeah, we all know I can beat anyone's ass I want to, whenever I want to… But no man can be expected to just compete in match after match, with not even a weeks rest in between title matches. Streets Wilson gave it all he had… PERIOD. After a certain point, where is there to go but down? What is there left to do but fall? But remember this, I said I would be Extreme Champion… and I was. The streets don’t lie, and the streets don’t die. Did any of you fools really think I would be gone forever? I know everyone on the damn roster WISHES I was gone, because the second Streets Wilson steps on the set, is the second shit gets real. Aw yeah, now all you would-be prodigy's got some fear in your eyes.
(he begins to grunt loudly as if he’s really on a roll now)
Streets Wilson: HA! You would be great if STREETS WILSON WASN’T ABOUT TO STEP TO YOU. You would be great if you… were me… But your not me, your most likely some delusional wannabe, with a nonsensical fascination with a religious deity…
(Streets expression changes, as if he just remembered something)
Streets Wilson: and let me just explain something here. Listen Julien, I know what kind of guy you are. That’s exactly why I chose to help you. Streets Wilson doesn’t mind you are running your mouth about him… I have heard it all before. I wouldn’t have agreed to ALLOW you to be my partner you if I hadn’t done the research and found out if you were good enough. I wouldn’t have agree to be your partner unless I KNEW you would be able to hold up your end of the bargain. And while your feelings towards me seem a bit mixed… Don’t worry… You’ll find out soon enough like they all do what actually happens when Streets Wilson is in action. As for your reconnaissance work though, its rather lacking… you should have heard of me. Someone doesn’t win the APW Xtreme Championship by a fluke. And I have held around a bakers dozen of Championships throughout my career. I AM a legend. Just go to the… streets, and ask somebody. They’ll tell you… Streets Wilson will BREAK YOU. Streets Wilson IS THE MAN.
(Streets Wilson is obviously fired up now…)
Streets Wilson: Everyone MUST take notice now, all your titles are now in jeopardy once again. All your family’s, all your hopes and aspirations… are now in jeopardy. And I KNOW you’re all feeling the real ugly feeling… of pure fear now that I have revealed myself. I was just laid back, waiting for the opportunity to return… Before, I was creeping through the shadows, and puffin… rad L’s?
(Streets pauses for a second contemplating inside his head if what he had just said was cool enough or not, but decides to continue anyway)
Director: Yeah it was fine Streets, just keep going… we’re still rolling… idiot
(Streets turns his head and is now staring directly into the screen,)
Streets Wilson: … yeah well… as you have no doubt pieced together by now, I am back. And that means bad bad news for …
(he pulls out a note card and begins to read it slowly)
Streets Wilson: … Twister… and … Micheal … “Lively” First of all: (he adjusts his trademark fedora)
Trisha: Why are you acting like you don’t know their names? I’m pretty sure you’ve probably mentioned both of them at some point during your STUPID “macho” “bad-ass” speech
Streets Wilson: Don’t get an attitude with me bitch…
(Streets Wilson grabs the woman’s face with the tiger claw, and his muscles jerk as if he’s about to twist the deadly hold on her face --- when suddenly: the screen goes blank and the the word “CENSORED” appears in huge letters)
(When everything comes back to focus Streets Wilson is standing over the prone body of the woman- she is now face down with a puddle of blood underneath.)
Streets Wilson: Dammit… they better get somebody in here to clean this shit up…
(A depressed looking janitor comes in and begins to mop up the blood in the background… Streets Wilson turns back towards the camera and just continues his rant)
Streets Wilson: Twister: you slack jawed, square headed idiot: the only thing getting getting “twisted” in our match is going to be your neck. I’ll snap that shit and… laugh of it. I’ll wrench it to the breaking point… then go roll a joint… I’ll twist it it till it breaks… then go make myself a shake… because I’m just the man like that. I heard you talkin shit… You can’t strategize for a fight with the streets… Don’t you dare try to classify me… I’ll use fucking… kung fu on you and shit man…
( By now the incredibly obese camera man is in a rage over channel 6 new’s star reporter just being viciously murdured in cold blood. He leaves the camera on the tripod and then charges towards Streets Wilson. Streets sees his 600 lb figure coming a mile away and patiently waits for him to get close enough…. ….. As the fat man is charging Streets Wilson jumps forward through the air, performing a perfect butterfly kick… unfortunately Wilson doesn’t hit exactly where he wanted to and his foot SMASHES directly into the fat man’s groin.)
Fat guy: HMHEEEEEEEEEH
(he immediately falls over, completely unconscious… or more likely: deceased.)
Streets Wilson (taking Trishas nearby mic off the ground) : Don’t even get me started on my opponents lack of qualifications… Twister… you remind me of someone else, who looks quite similar to you. This person, by some miracle, has climbed his way to main event status, just like you, even though he has the wrestling skill level more appropriate for a… soccer mom… just as yourself… It makes me wonder if this whole thing is “staged”.
(He suddenly becomes very paranoid and begins looking around)
Streets Wilson (as soon as he is sure there in no danger): Bottom line man, what you consider to be “technical” wrestling, and the fighting arts I plan to break your face with: are two completely different things entirely. Basically, if you attempt to do a “deep arm drag” on Streets Wilson… I’ll break your little arm and then shove it up your ass.
(Streets looks as though he is lost in thought for a moment)
Streets Wilson: But back to business. I don’t even have to highlight the fact that I am a trained killing machine… its pretty much common knowledge at this point. Its pretty much common knowledge, that when you step into the ring with Streets Wilson, he reigns down an unholy fury of street justice, with a side of Shaolin flavor…
(He smiles widely, removes his sunglasses and winks to somebody off camera before carefully placing the glasses back on his face)
Streets Wilson: Its like, you don’t even begin to comprehend the magnitude at which I really, really hate you Twister. Another one of these “ground and pound” retards… A trained gorilla could “ground and pound” someone… It takes a real master to execute maneuvers with the style, finesse, and effectiveness that Streets Wilson does it. See, everyone knows Streets Wilson’s style… Be it martial arts styles or just… PURE style… everyone knows where I stand. See, Streets Wilson doesn’t play that “your in for a grueling battle” shit… Streets Wilson just destroys people. Streets Wilson takes it to a whole different physical level. I’m pretty much just straight up invincible. I mean, lets be honest, the only reason I lost that Xtreme Title match back then is because I caught a whiff of Fyre Angels snatch juice…
(gasps are clearly heard in the background)
Streets Wilson: Now on to… the most uninteresting part of this little team, Mr. Lively… Where do I start? I know… “The Jesus”… wait… What the fuck does that even mean?... Is it code language for “over-rated piece of garbage”?
(He stands there tapping his foot on the ground, waiting for an answer)
Streets Wilson: Are you referring to that random hippie I see all hung up everywhere in churches? Well, I suppose its your own business if you want idolize a… …. Religious deity…
(he stops)
Streets Wilson: wait that didn’t come out right…
(he shrugs it off)
Streets Wilson: Well MR ASSFACE- it’s a good thing you were here to explain to me that crime is exclusive to New York. Yeah, the second you step foot across the state line nine black dudes just come up and beat you into a coma… Oh wait… NO… Your just a dumbass… You see dick-lips, Streets Wilson does NOT give a shit which “hood” you represent… quite frankly I don’t give a shit if your from the “hood” or not. It just fuckin MAKES NO DIFFERENCE TO ME. As far as I know your not from New York anyway so… shut the fuck up. What would you know about the New York streets... Stamford is like a half hour drive from NYC… dumb ass….
(He glances down at the excessive 3 blackbelts that are seemingly eternally tied around his waist)
Streets Wilson: Go ahead and try to downplay the fact I hold Black belt’s in several different combat arts, it doesn’t bother me… the bottom line is, when that bell rings, I will stare back at whoever my opponent may be, they will look deep into my eyes: and they will KNOW right then and there, why I am to be feared. Why I have been so successful in the past. Its because I don’t feel this “fear” emotion that you other humans feel. What I feel is more of a … “longing” a longing to hit your face…
(He smashes an imaginary face in anger)
Streets Wilson: So come at me Lively… with your pathetic weak style. I fucking DARE you to try to do a “pele kick” to Streets Wilson… I’ll grab your little leg, snap it, and then wrap its mangled form around your throat… If you attempt to do something as ridiculous and virtually useless as a “shooting star leg drop” I’ll knock your flimsy ass out of the air with an uppercut to the throat…
(He is clearly imagining the scenario)
Streets Wilson (coming back to his senses) : When your face to face with Streets Wilson, that’s the true test of a man. All your championship belts, All your past accomplishments: mean nothing to me. Trust me when I say whatever the situation is, I’ve been in worse, and I WILL FIGHT my way out. I’ll solve the problem the only way I know how… I will defeat you in a spectacular and timely manner. I will do things to you that are… illegal… I mean: you do realize that if I wasn’t competing professionally like this, my fists would be considered a weapon. If I were to get caught brawling in the streets, I would be charged with assault with a deadly weapon… because that’s what I AM. I am a tool for the streets. I am the vehicle from which its power can flow through. I am everything you don’t want me to be. I am… Streets Wilson…
(He lets out a long sigh, and then removes his sunglasses)
Streets Wilson: and when its all said and done… when all the “smoke has cleared”… Twister and Lively, you WILL realize who the man is around here… So go ahead and cower in the corner doing power ranger impressions if that’s what helps you build the courage to face me. Go ahead and babble on about how people get mugged and killed in New York… What effect does it have on Streets Wilson?
(he stands still wondering to himself)
Streets Wilson: Listen dickface, I want you to imagine what someone attempting to “stick up” Streets Wilson would look like. In fact, I think it would look a little
(He raises his eyebrow)
Streets Wilson: Like this
(he signals for his 2 “stuntmen” hiding behind the scenes to attack him with knives)
(They both lunge at him simultaneously, Streets Wilson sidesteps at the exact right moment, causing one of the stuntman blades to jam into the others throat in one of the worst “stunts” gone wrong in human history. As the 1 living stuntman gasps loudly and lets his guard down, Streets Wilson springs into action)
Streets Wilson: ITS MORPHIN TIME
(Wilson proceeds to shape his fist in the deadly “Phoenix Eye Fist” position and immediately smashes it into the stunt mans eye, the protruding index finger slams directly into the mans retina, causing his eyeball to liquefy and fall out of his head)
Stuntman: ……. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Streets Wilson: YEAH BABY! WHAT NOW!
(The stuntman quickly passes out from the pain and flops to the ground, smacking his head on the hardwood floor.)
Streets Wilson: Parental guidance on this Power Rangers episode….
Streets Wilson: Take THAT Lively
(he continues to stretch it)
Streets Wilson: I bet that wasn’t rated G
(he chuckles to himself rather loudly)
Streets Wilson: hahah…. Woooo…..
(it takes him a second to wind down)
Streets Wilson: OK…. Somebody better clean this up….
(The same janitor from before walks into view and begins to drag the bodies 1 by one out of the room)
Janitor (dragging the first body): I hate my life……
Streets Wilson: Yeah, after this match you can pretty much just refer to Streets Wilson as “King Midas” because its quite obvious I’ve got the golden touch… and its even more painfully obvious where my career is going from this point… UP. Lively and Twister, you’ve had your turn in the spotlight, now move over for the streets.
(He shoos away the imaginary figures of Twister and Lively)
Streets Wilson: Yeah, you both had your time in the spotlight. But enough is enough, its not automatically a good thing just because you’ve been in the spotlight for so long… yeah, Lively, you’ve got the most impressive win loss record around… but what does it matter really? Its all just a serious of fleeting moments anyway… because, after me and Bale destroy you, no one is going to bring up anyones win-loss documents. There going to be looking right at the gold that will be around MY waist. Lets just look at the facts here… Streets Wilson could rip the tag champs apart by himself… let alone the fact that there's someone in my corner anyway. I am trained to take on multiple attackers at once. President Jeff can basically just put the name “Streets Wilson” on the belt plague right now… Because when I get a hold of those paper champions, theres gonna be blood flying everywhere. Faces are going to get ripped off. Dreams are going to be crushed. See, I don’t like your cocky attitudes champs! And if it takes the likes of Streets Wilson to bring you down from your imaginary pedestal… then so be it. I’ll get the job done. I’ll usher in a new era of entertainment for these fans. I’ll reign in a new saga for the APW. Me and my partner… We got the goods… So let me just lay it down for you champs… I saw you down at that bar drinking yourselves into a stupor, and getting into brawls. Your so damn scared of me I’ve driven you to drink now… It’s Iggy “The Iguana” all over again…
(He sighs and covers his face in anguish)
Streets Wilson: I’ll be seeing you soon fella’s… I just need you to do one thing for me before the match.
(He moves closer)
Streets Wilson: RUN… Run and tell your family… Run and tell your friends… Tonight is the night I fall… Tonight is the night I face… Streets Wilson.
(Wilson begins to laugh hysterically as he throws down a smoke bomb: filling the entire area with thick black smoke. One could hardly even see their own hands in front of their face… Wilson begins to stylishly creep through the smoke, and out of sight…)
“He has shed blood in over 4 different countries.”
“He has held championship gold in every organization he has ever been associated with”
“He has literally personally retired at least 3 different superstars”
“He loves Honey Bunches of Oates”
“His name is synonymous with words such as violence, fear… and … (the voice is cut off)”
(The screen goes blank……. When it comes back into focus Streets Wilson himself is dancing enthusiastically to the sounds of women and children screaming, tossing wads of cash into the air as he smiles towards the screen… then slowly there is darkness again…)
(When the screen refocuses. The scene is now completely different, and consists of 2 office workers, having a conversation in the workplace. Their name tags identify them as “Ted” and “Steve”)
Ted: Have you been watching APW lately?
Steve: No…
Ted : Remember that guy Streets Wilson?
Steve : !!!!! What the fuck do you mean remember that guy Streets Wilson? I caught him banging my wife 2 days ago, and when I confronted him about it,
(He gets a very serious look on his face)
Steve: HE SLICED OFF MY LEFT PINKY RIGHT THEN AND THERE!!!!
(He holds his left hand up to reveal the mangled spectacle.)
Ted (with a horrified look on his face) : FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!
-----------------
(Finally, the scene reopens one final time, to reveal Streets Wilson himself, sitting comfortably atop a golden throne. The arms on the chairs are shaped as a females breasts. Wilson himself is surrounded by several beautiful women, feeding him grapes and tending to his every whim. As usual, he is waiting for a scheduled interview with some sort of a local news station.)
Streets Wilson: Yeah well… I don’t know, the bitch said she would be here…
(one of the unidentified women answer)
Random Ho: Well I’m hungry
Streets Wilson: I don’t give a rats ass… Go to the fridge
Random Ho: But we’re on this STUPID promo set… Where am I supposed to find a fridge?
Streets Wilson: BITCH! Don’t complain to me, can’t you see I’m sitting on a golden throne?
(The woman walks away muttering something under her breath as she does so.)
(Streets turns towards the camera screen)
Streets Wilson: you know, sometimes I wish these ho’s would just back up off me…
(The surrounding women seem to be annoyed by the last statement as they all get up rather abruptly and begin to walk towards the exit)
Streets Wilson: hey wait… I was just trying to get in my token “ghetto line” of the evening… come back…
(The women continue to walk out the front door)
(the camera pans back to Streets, who is now breaking up a potent green substance into a rolling paper)
Streets Wilson (as he looks up): Pshhh… like I give a shit…
(he finishes breaking it up and rolls it up in one smooth motion. He presses a hidden button on the side of his golden throne and a single pillar of flame shoots up from the left arm. He quickly lights the joint before the flame dies down again.)
Streets Wilson: They think the’re so damn special..
(he looks towards the door they had just exited from)
Streets Wilson: … I’m a fucking STAR you dumb whores… A STAR
(He brings the J up to his lips and begins to inhale deeply.)
Streets Wilson (as he is holding the hit in): As if I don’t have women lining up at the door… I’m Streets Wilson…
(he exhales, smiling: deep in thought… obviously happy about the fact that he is, in fact: Streets Wilson)
(he continues talking to the audience)
Streets Wilson: yes, welcome… This IS my mansion, located in the heart of Stamford, Connecticut. I call this … the golden throne room. It is equipped with several different underground escape routes… used for those sticky situations I seem to always get myself into while cutting a promo…
(just then, the door swings open and a woman of Asian descent walks inside looking rather confident. An obese cameraman follows her. She walks right up to Streets Wilson and shoves the mic near his face)
Reporter: Alright… (she adjusts an unseen earpiece) start rolling Tony…
(“Tony” begins counting down from 5. 4. 3. (Streets Wilson can be seen in the backround noticing the fat cameraman)
Streets Wilson: WHOA!
( 2 .1)
Reporter: This is Trisha Takinowa from Channel 6 news… and I’m not a fan of those Jews...
(Streets Wilson looks on in utter shock and confusion… his eyes halfway bug out of his head as takes another drag of his “medicine”)
Trisha: I’m standing here with the legendary Streets Wilson, who recently just made his triumphant return to the APW by DDT-ing one half of the current tag team champions. How do you feel Mr. Wilson?
(Streets just looks back at her, puffing the joint and answering with nothing but a cold stare)
Trisha: um…
Streets Wilson: I’ll tell you how I feel (he begins inhaling the smoke at a frantic pace now… within seconds it is already finished and he quickly puts the roach out… mashing the cherry into the arm of his golden throne..) I feel as if I am the fucking man. Former Xtreme Champion, and no doubt the most dangerous and feared superstar to ever compete, and I’m back. WOOO, just when you thought it was safe to walk the streets again…
(He removes his sunglasses dramatically)
Streets Wilson: … IT ISN’T
(Someone in the background can be heard gasping loudly as Wilson places the glasses back on his face)
Trisha (sporting a sideways glance to her incredibly FAT camera-man off screen): Well.. it IS a long anticipated return. Now, your jumping right back in where you left off, right in the middle of the fray.
Streets Wilson (almost completely ignoring the reporter): Its true, but Streets Wilson doesn’t need to explain why he belongs in PPV title matches… Everyone already knows who Streets Wilson is. You may know me as the man who retired Iggy “The Iguana”.
(he begins to laugh out loud)
Streets Wilson: You can thank me later… There's really no need to even get into it, your all scared of the streets. I “was” the Xtreme Champion you know… maybe only for like a week… But shit happens like that, I’m not a machine dammit. I fought HARD for that title… I’m no stranger to fighting for whats rightfully mine. But behind the scenes I was tired of it. I was tired of coming out week after week, having serious, hard fought battles, and probably giving the performance of my life… But I finally got what I after for so long… BUT THEN Guess what? .. BLAM!
(Trisha lets out a squeal)
Streets Wilson: it was gone in an instant…
Trisha: Oh my… care to comment on that?
Streets Wilson: Fuck you…
Streets Wilson: I can’t just have a fucking “Tree House of Horrors” match, beat a man into retirement, and be expected to defend my championship a few days later without some serious physical consequences… And even though I am worshiped as a divine being in some small African Tribes, I am not LITERALLY a god. Shit happens to me like anybody else. Shit like what happened to me is unheard of in this buisness. I FINALLY won that Extreme Title. Greuling battle after grueling battle I LOST to that human waste Iggy The Iguana… Wait a second though…
(He scratches his head)
Streets Wilson: What happened at the end of that trilogy of matches again?
(He looks around as if he’s really expecting an answer)
Streets Wilson: Oh yeah, that’s right…. I PUT THAT FOOL DOWN, JUST LIKE I SAID I WOULD.
(He smiles… obviously satisfied with himself)
Streets Wilson: It’s not like I couldn’t be World Champion at any point in time I want anyway, I’m sure almost everyone remembers that “Rage in the Cage” tournament or whatever the hell it was a couple PPV’s back, I chose not to enter that, because I had already given my word that I would utterly destroy an individual. Now… I could’ve went on to just waltz right into the picture, and no doubt I’d have that World Title in a matter of weeks if that’s what I chose to do. But no… I decided I needed to do something a little bit more meaningful that championship belts. This is a recurring scenario with me… Its not a gimmick. When Streets Wilson destroys someone… their gone… you can’t find them anymore…
(He pauses)
Streets Wilson: You can all think back and remember what a useless nuisance Iggy was… but also remember this… that waste was undefeated until the streets brought him to his knees. I wouldn’t be surprised if after this upcoming match: you’ll probably see Twister working at the local Wal-mart after I’m through with him.
(he begins to laugh out loud)
Streets Wilson: So anyway bottom line is, I said what I was going to do, then I straight up did it. That’s what Streets Wilson does. but did I get enjoy it? NO. I was booked in another match… what? 3 days later or some shit? I wasn’t competing in just some vagina-like regular division. I was competing in EXTREME matches. Yeah, we all know I can beat anyone's ass I want to, whenever I want to… But no man can be expected to just compete in match after match, with not even a weeks rest in between title matches. Streets Wilson gave it all he had… PERIOD. After a certain point, where is there to go but down? What is there left to do but fall? But remember this, I said I would be Extreme Champion… and I was. The streets don’t lie, and the streets don’t die. Did any of you fools really think I would be gone forever? I know everyone on the damn roster WISHES I was gone, because the second Streets Wilson steps on the set, is the second shit gets real. Aw yeah, now all you would-be prodigy's got some fear in your eyes.
(he begins to grunt loudly as if he’s really on a roll now)
Streets Wilson: HA! You would be great if STREETS WILSON WASN’T ABOUT TO STEP TO YOU. You would be great if you… were me… But your not me, your most likely some delusional wannabe, with a nonsensical fascination with a religious deity…
(Streets expression changes, as if he just remembered something)
Streets Wilson: and let me just explain something here. Listen Julien, I know what kind of guy you are. That’s exactly why I chose to help you. Streets Wilson doesn’t mind you are running your mouth about him… I have heard it all before. I wouldn’t have agreed to ALLOW you to be my partner you if I hadn’t done the research and found out if you were good enough. I wouldn’t have agree to be your partner unless I KNEW you would be able to hold up your end of the bargain. And while your feelings towards me seem a bit mixed… Don’t worry… You’ll find out soon enough like they all do what actually happens when Streets Wilson is in action. As for your reconnaissance work though, its rather lacking… you should have heard of me. Someone doesn’t win the APW Xtreme Championship by a fluke. And I have held around a bakers dozen of Championships throughout my career. I AM a legend. Just go to the… streets, and ask somebody. They’ll tell you… Streets Wilson will BREAK YOU. Streets Wilson IS THE MAN.
(Streets Wilson is obviously fired up now…)
Streets Wilson: Everyone MUST take notice now, all your titles are now in jeopardy once again. All your family’s, all your hopes and aspirations… are now in jeopardy. And I KNOW you’re all feeling the real ugly feeling… of pure fear now that I have revealed myself. I was just laid back, waiting for the opportunity to return… Before, I was creeping through the shadows, and puffin… rad L’s?
(Streets pauses for a second contemplating inside his head if what he had just said was cool enough or not, but decides to continue anyway)
Director: Yeah it was fine Streets, just keep going… we’re still rolling… idiot
(Streets turns his head and is now staring directly into the screen,)
Streets Wilson: … yeah well… as you have no doubt pieced together by now, I am back. And that means bad bad news for …
(he pulls out a note card and begins to read it slowly)
Streets Wilson: … Twister… and … Micheal … “Lively” First of all: (he adjusts his trademark fedora)
Trisha: Why are you acting like you don’t know their names? I’m pretty sure you’ve probably mentioned both of them at some point during your STUPID “macho” “bad-ass” speech
Streets Wilson: Don’t get an attitude with me bitch…
(Streets Wilson grabs the woman’s face with the tiger claw, and his muscles jerk as if he’s about to twist the deadly hold on her face --- when suddenly: the screen goes blank and the the word “CENSORED” appears in huge letters)
(When everything comes back to focus Streets Wilson is standing over the prone body of the woman- she is now face down with a puddle of blood underneath.)
Streets Wilson: Dammit… they better get somebody in here to clean this shit up…
(A depressed looking janitor comes in and begins to mop up the blood in the background… Streets Wilson turns back towards the camera and just continues his rant)
Streets Wilson: Twister: you slack jawed, square headed idiot: the only thing getting getting “twisted” in our match is going to be your neck. I’ll snap that shit and… laugh of it. I’ll wrench it to the breaking point… then go roll a joint… I’ll twist it it till it breaks… then go make myself a shake… because I’m just the man like that. I heard you talkin shit… You can’t strategize for a fight with the streets… Don’t you dare try to classify me… I’ll use fucking… kung fu on you and shit man…
( By now the incredibly obese camera man is in a rage over channel 6 new’s star reporter just being viciously murdured in cold blood. He leaves the camera on the tripod and then charges towards Streets Wilson. Streets sees his 600 lb figure coming a mile away and patiently waits for him to get close enough…. ….. As the fat man is charging Streets Wilson jumps forward through the air, performing a perfect butterfly kick… unfortunately Wilson doesn’t hit exactly where he wanted to and his foot SMASHES directly into the fat man’s groin.)
Fat guy: HMHEEEEEEEEEH
(he immediately falls over, completely unconscious… or more likely: deceased.)
Streets Wilson (taking Trishas nearby mic off the ground) : Don’t even get me started on my opponents lack of qualifications… Twister… you remind me of someone else, who looks quite similar to you. This person, by some miracle, has climbed his way to main event status, just like you, even though he has the wrestling skill level more appropriate for a… soccer mom… just as yourself… It makes me wonder if this whole thing is “staged”.
(He suddenly becomes very paranoid and begins looking around)
Streets Wilson (as soon as he is sure there in no danger): Bottom line man, what you consider to be “technical” wrestling, and the fighting arts I plan to break your face with: are two completely different things entirely. Basically, if you attempt to do a “deep arm drag” on Streets Wilson… I’ll break your little arm and then shove it up your ass.
(Streets looks as though he is lost in thought for a moment)
Streets Wilson: But back to business. I don’t even have to highlight the fact that I am a trained killing machine… its pretty much common knowledge at this point. Its pretty much common knowledge, that when you step into the ring with Streets Wilson, he reigns down an unholy fury of street justice, with a side of Shaolin flavor…
(He smiles widely, removes his sunglasses and winks to somebody off camera before carefully placing the glasses back on his face)
Streets Wilson: Its like, you don’t even begin to comprehend the magnitude at which I really, really hate you Twister. Another one of these “ground and pound” retards… A trained gorilla could “ground and pound” someone… It takes a real master to execute maneuvers with the style, finesse, and effectiveness that Streets Wilson does it. See, everyone knows Streets Wilson’s style… Be it martial arts styles or just… PURE style… everyone knows where I stand. See, Streets Wilson doesn’t play that “your in for a grueling battle” shit… Streets Wilson just destroys people. Streets Wilson takes it to a whole different physical level. I’m pretty much just straight up invincible. I mean, lets be honest, the only reason I lost that Xtreme Title match back then is because I caught a whiff of Fyre Angels snatch juice…
(gasps are clearly heard in the background)
Streets Wilson: Now on to… the most uninteresting part of this little team, Mr. Lively… Where do I start? I know… “The Jesus”… wait… What the fuck does that even mean?... Is it code language for “over-rated piece of garbage”?
(He stands there tapping his foot on the ground, waiting for an answer)
Streets Wilson: Are you referring to that random hippie I see all hung up everywhere in churches? Well, I suppose its your own business if you want idolize a… …. Religious deity…
(he stops)
Streets Wilson: wait that didn’t come out right…
(he shrugs it off)
Streets Wilson: Well MR ASSFACE- it’s a good thing you were here to explain to me that crime is exclusive to New York. Yeah, the second you step foot across the state line nine black dudes just come up and beat you into a coma… Oh wait… NO… Your just a dumbass… You see dick-lips, Streets Wilson does NOT give a shit which “hood” you represent… quite frankly I don’t give a shit if your from the “hood” or not. It just fuckin MAKES NO DIFFERENCE TO ME. As far as I know your not from New York anyway so… shut the fuck up. What would you know about the New York streets... Stamford is like a half hour drive from NYC… dumb ass….
(He glances down at the excessive 3 blackbelts that are seemingly eternally tied around his waist)
Streets Wilson: Go ahead and try to downplay the fact I hold Black belt’s in several different combat arts, it doesn’t bother me… the bottom line is, when that bell rings, I will stare back at whoever my opponent may be, they will look deep into my eyes: and they will KNOW right then and there, why I am to be feared. Why I have been so successful in the past. Its because I don’t feel this “fear” emotion that you other humans feel. What I feel is more of a … “longing” a longing to hit your face…
(He smashes an imaginary face in anger)
Streets Wilson: So come at me Lively… with your pathetic weak style. I fucking DARE you to try to do a “pele kick” to Streets Wilson… I’ll grab your little leg, snap it, and then wrap its mangled form around your throat… If you attempt to do something as ridiculous and virtually useless as a “shooting star leg drop” I’ll knock your flimsy ass out of the air with an uppercut to the throat…
(He is clearly imagining the scenario)
Streets Wilson (coming back to his senses) : When your face to face with Streets Wilson, that’s the true test of a man. All your championship belts, All your past accomplishments: mean nothing to me. Trust me when I say whatever the situation is, I’ve been in worse, and I WILL FIGHT my way out. I’ll solve the problem the only way I know how… I will defeat you in a spectacular and timely manner. I will do things to you that are… illegal… I mean: you do realize that if I wasn’t competing professionally like this, my fists would be considered a weapon. If I were to get caught brawling in the streets, I would be charged with assault with a deadly weapon… because that’s what I AM. I am a tool for the streets. I am the vehicle from which its power can flow through. I am everything you don’t want me to be. I am… Streets Wilson…
(He lets out a long sigh, and then removes his sunglasses)
Streets Wilson: and when its all said and done… when all the “smoke has cleared”… Twister and Lively, you WILL realize who the man is around here… So go ahead and cower in the corner doing power ranger impressions if that’s what helps you build the courage to face me. Go ahead and babble on about how people get mugged and killed in New York… What effect does it have on Streets Wilson?
(he stands still wondering to himself)
Streets Wilson: Listen dickface, I want you to imagine what someone attempting to “stick up” Streets Wilson would look like. In fact, I think it would look a little
(He raises his eyebrow)
Streets Wilson: Like this
(he signals for his 2 “stuntmen” hiding behind the scenes to attack him with knives)
(They both lunge at him simultaneously, Streets Wilson sidesteps at the exact right moment, causing one of the stuntman blades to jam into the others throat in one of the worst “stunts” gone wrong in human history. As the 1 living stuntman gasps loudly and lets his guard down, Streets Wilson springs into action)
Streets Wilson: ITS MORPHIN TIME
(Wilson proceeds to shape his fist in the deadly “Phoenix Eye Fist” position and immediately smashes it into the stunt mans eye, the protruding index finger slams directly into the mans retina, causing his eyeball to liquefy and fall out of his head)
Stuntman: ……. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Streets Wilson: YEAH BABY! WHAT NOW!
(The stuntman quickly passes out from the pain and flops to the ground, smacking his head on the hardwood floor.)
Streets Wilson: Parental guidance on this Power Rangers episode….
Streets Wilson: Take THAT Lively
(he continues to stretch it)
Streets Wilson: I bet that wasn’t rated G
(he chuckles to himself rather loudly)
Streets Wilson: hahah…. Woooo…..
(it takes him a second to wind down)
Streets Wilson: OK…. Somebody better clean this up….
(The same janitor from before walks into view and begins to drag the bodies 1 by one out of the room)
Janitor (dragging the first body): I hate my life……
Streets Wilson: Yeah, after this match you can pretty much just refer to Streets Wilson as “King Midas” because its quite obvious I’ve got the golden touch… and its even more painfully obvious where my career is going from this point… UP. Lively and Twister, you’ve had your turn in the spotlight, now move over for the streets.
(He shoos away the imaginary figures of Twister and Lively)
Streets Wilson: Yeah, you both had your time in the spotlight. But enough is enough, its not automatically a good thing just because you’ve been in the spotlight for so long… yeah, Lively, you’ve got the most impressive win loss record around… but what does it matter really? Its all just a serious of fleeting moments anyway… because, after me and Bale destroy you, no one is going to bring up anyones win-loss documents. There going to be looking right at the gold that will be around MY waist. Lets just look at the facts here… Streets Wilson could rip the tag champs apart by himself… let alone the fact that there's someone in my corner anyway. I am trained to take on multiple attackers at once. President Jeff can basically just put the name “Streets Wilson” on the belt plague right now… Because when I get a hold of those paper champions, theres gonna be blood flying everywhere. Faces are going to get ripped off. Dreams are going to be crushed. See, I don’t like your cocky attitudes champs! And if it takes the likes of Streets Wilson to bring you down from your imaginary pedestal… then so be it. I’ll get the job done. I’ll usher in a new era of entertainment for these fans. I’ll reign in a new saga for the APW. Me and my partner… We got the goods… So let me just lay it down for you champs… I saw you down at that bar drinking yourselves into a stupor, and getting into brawls. Your so damn scared of me I’ve driven you to drink now… It’s Iggy “The Iguana” all over again…
(He sighs and covers his face in anguish)
Streets Wilson: I’ll be seeing you soon fella’s… I just need you to do one thing for me before the match.
(He moves closer)
Streets Wilson: RUN… Run and tell your family… Run and tell your friends… Tonight is the night I fall… Tonight is the night I face… Streets Wilson.
(Wilson begins to laugh hysterically as he throws down a smoke bomb: filling the entire area with thick black smoke. One could hardly even see their own hands in front of their face… Wilson begins to stylishly creep through the smoke, and out of sight…)
