Post by biggs on May 27, 2009 19:39:06 GMT -4
(Note: Mike Huckabee's show on Fox New airs Saturday at 8 pm.)
Huckabee, on The Fox New Channel, comes back from a commercial break. Mike Huckabee is standing in front of his chair.
Huckabee: My guest on tonight's show is quite the character, I must say. He's a professional wrestler who wrestles for Action Packed Wrestling. Please welcome to the show Biggs!
The crowd claps politely as Biggs enters the studio, decked out in his ring master's jacket, complete with the feathers on the shoulder, and his blue shades. He also has a red, white, and blue button on his jacket that says “Biggs for #1 Contender.” Biggs shakes Mike Huckabee's hand, and the men take there seats.
Huckabee: First off, welcome Biggs, it's a pleasure to have you here this evening.
Biggs: Thanks for having me.
Huckabee: I gotta say, that's quite the get up you got there!
Biggs: What can I say, I like it. Part of the reason I dress like this is obviously because I'm a professional wrestler, but mostly, it's because I'm confident of who I am and how I like to dress. I know it might seem weird and funky to a lot of people, but quite frankly, I could care less what other people think I'm simply being myself.
Huckabee: Well good for you! You've got to give me your tailor's number during the break. We'll discuss wrestling in a bit, but this being a show on Fox News, we'd remiss if we didn't talk some politics. If you don't mind me asking, what's your stance on the current political scene in America today.
Biggs: Well, I believe as a celebrity, it'd be irresponsible for me to be specific about my political beliefs, because those who look up to me may be swayed by opinion, rather than becoming informed of the issues themselves, so I'm not going to tell you how I feel about an specific policy or politician, but I will say that I feel that the democratic process as it is currently practiced in America is sorely lacking from what it used to be.
Huckabee: How so?
Biggs: Well you see, Mike, you don't mind if I call you Mike, do you? Of course not! But as I was saying, politics in America nowadays are incredibly shallow, as people don't take the time to truly understand the issues and real problems this country is facing. The political parties have stepped back from having any real ideologies, and rather are dictated by where they stand on hot button issues. Campaigns have devolved into sound bite politics, where the candidates will tell the people what they want to hear, rather than what they need to hear, and as such, the political process as a whole has become diluted.
Huckabee: Now I know that in today's modern information age, things sometimes get parred down and shortened to the point where they're no longer in context, but overall, I feel that the media gives people the most important information, the necessary information.
Biggs: No I disagree completely. A lot of the problems today are the media's fault. I know I said I wasn't going to talk about any specific issue, but for the sake of argument, I'm going to use the current economic crisis as an example. Initially, the problem was with banks that gave faulty loans to customers who, by all rights, should not have been given the loans in the first place. When they defaulted on the loans, the banks stood to lose a lot of money, but really, the only people who would be affected were those who were losing their homes, and those who gave the bad loans. However, the media presented it as a huge financial crisis that would hurt everyone, that it was an economic Armageddon, which is simply irresponsible! Had the media presented the facts as they were, rather than putting a doomsday spin on them, things would be better. I'm not saying that we wouldn't face some recession, but it certainly wouldn't be as deep as it is now had the media accurately portrayed the story!
The crowd stands up and cheers as Biggs tears into the media.
Huckabee: Well, I do agree that there was some sensationalism, but lets move on! I hear that APW has a pay per view here in Washington, D.C. tomorrow night, which allowed you be able to make it tonight. If you could please tell us a little bit about the show...
Biggs: No problem. Tomorrow night, from the Verizon Center, APW will be presenting it's annual Mayhem pay per view, and let's face it, this pay per view will go down as the greatest in APW history, because it is the APW pay per view debut of yours truly!
Huckabee: Well, you certainly think highly of yourself. Tell us about your match.
Biggs: Darn right I think highly of myself, and with good reason! I am the single greatest wrestler alive today! With my mix of athleticism and intellagence, there's no reason why I shouldn't be everyone's favorite wrestler, let alone the top guy in any promotion! But to answer your question, at the pay per view, I'll be facing Mr. Strange in a match to become the #1 Contender for the APW Overdrive Title, a match which I'll undoubtedly win.
Huckabee: How can you be so certain?
Biggs: First off, the guy wrestles in a V for Vendetta mask, so besides suffering from a total lack of originality, I highly doubt he can see well out of the mask. Secondly, while he may fight an unorthodox style, he has made the mistake of being predictable with said style. It doesn't matter how fancy and off kilter your moves are if you perform them in the same pattern each and every match. However, I figured that since most of your audience wouldn't be familiar with Mr. Strange, I had a little video made that will show you everything you need to know about my opponent this Sunday night!
Huckabee: Ok, let's roll it!
The studio lights darken as a video begins to play on a screen behind Mike Huckabee and Biggs. “Zero,” by the Yeah Yeah Yeah's () begins to play as the video shows a fat man dressed all in black wearing a V mask is shown dancing in front of a psychedelic background. The fat “Mr. Strange” flanked by two midgets dressed the same way, and as the music starts, they start doing The Twist. Footage of the fake Mr. Strange and midgets dancing are intercut with footage of the real Mr. Strange on the receiving end of several vicious wrestling moves he's suffered during matches. Each time the song hits the chorus, “Mr. Strange” and the midgets switch dances, doing such moves as The Funky Chicken, The Sprinkler, and The Macarena! Vignettes of the fat Mr. Strange wandering around Washington DC are also shown during the video. Fat Mr. Strange is shown getting beaten by an old woman with her purse, getting kicked in the shin by a little boy, and getting punched out by a fake President Obama. The video ends with Fat Mr. Strange passed out on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, with Biggs passing by and shaking is head as the video and song come to a close. As the lights come back on, Biggs and Mike Huckabee are both wearing V masks, which garners laughs from the crowd.
Huckabee: I see what you mean about not being able to see out of these things!
The crowd continues to chuckle as Biggs and Huckabee remove the masks.
Huckabee: Well, Biggs, thanks again for appearing on the show, and best of luck in your match tomorrow night against Mr. Strange.
Biggs: Thank you.
Huckabee turns to the camera to speak.
Huckabee: APW Mayhem will be live on pay per view tomorrow night. Make sure you get a chance to catch all the action!
Huckabee goes to a commercial break as Mike Huckabee shakes Biggs' hand again.
Huckabee, on The Fox New Channel, comes back from a commercial break. Mike Huckabee is standing in front of his chair.
Huckabee: My guest on tonight's show is quite the character, I must say. He's a professional wrestler who wrestles for Action Packed Wrestling. Please welcome to the show Biggs!
The crowd claps politely as Biggs enters the studio, decked out in his ring master's jacket, complete with the feathers on the shoulder, and his blue shades. He also has a red, white, and blue button on his jacket that says “Biggs for #1 Contender.” Biggs shakes Mike Huckabee's hand, and the men take there seats.
Huckabee: First off, welcome Biggs, it's a pleasure to have you here this evening.
Biggs: Thanks for having me.
Huckabee: I gotta say, that's quite the get up you got there!
Biggs: What can I say, I like it. Part of the reason I dress like this is obviously because I'm a professional wrestler, but mostly, it's because I'm confident of who I am and how I like to dress. I know it might seem weird and funky to a lot of people, but quite frankly, I could care less what other people think I'm simply being myself.
Huckabee: Well good for you! You've got to give me your tailor's number during the break. We'll discuss wrestling in a bit, but this being a show on Fox News, we'd remiss if we didn't talk some politics. If you don't mind me asking, what's your stance on the current political scene in America today.
Biggs: Well, I believe as a celebrity, it'd be irresponsible for me to be specific about my political beliefs, because those who look up to me may be swayed by opinion, rather than becoming informed of the issues themselves, so I'm not going to tell you how I feel about an specific policy or politician, but I will say that I feel that the democratic process as it is currently practiced in America is sorely lacking from what it used to be.
Huckabee: How so?
Biggs: Well you see, Mike, you don't mind if I call you Mike, do you? Of course not! But as I was saying, politics in America nowadays are incredibly shallow, as people don't take the time to truly understand the issues and real problems this country is facing. The political parties have stepped back from having any real ideologies, and rather are dictated by where they stand on hot button issues. Campaigns have devolved into sound bite politics, where the candidates will tell the people what they want to hear, rather than what they need to hear, and as such, the political process as a whole has become diluted.
Huckabee: Now I know that in today's modern information age, things sometimes get parred down and shortened to the point where they're no longer in context, but overall, I feel that the media gives people the most important information, the necessary information.
Biggs: No I disagree completely. A lot of the problems today are the media's fault. I know I said I wasn't going to talk about any specific issue, but for the sake of argument, I'm going to use the current economic crisis as an example. Initially, the problem was with banks that gave faulty loans to customers who, by all rights, should not have been given the loans in the first place. When they defaulted on the loans, the banks stood to lose a lot of money, but really, the only people who would be affected were those who were losing their homes, and those who gave the bad loans. However, the media presented it as a huge financial crisis that would hurt everyone, that it was an economic Armageddon, which is simply irresponsible! Had the media presented the facts as they were, rather than putting a doomsday spin on them, things would be better. I'm not saying that we wouldn't face some recession, but it certainly wouldn't be as deep as it is now had the media accurately portrayed the story!
The crowd stands up and cheers as Biggs tears into the media.
Huckabee: Well, I do agree that there was some sensationalism, but lets move on! I hear that APW has a pay per view here in Washington, D.C. tomorrow night, which allowed you be able to make it tonight. If you could please tell us a little bit about the show...
Biggs: No problem. Tomorrow night, from the Verizon Center, APW will be presenting it's annual Mayhem pay per view, and let's face it, this pay per view will go down as the greatest in APW history, because it is the APW pay per view debut of yours truly!
Huckabee: Well, you certainly think highly of yourself. Tell us about your match.
Biggs: Darn right I think highly of myself, and with good reason! I am the single greatest wrestler alive today! With my mix of athleticism and intellagence, there's no reason why I shouldn't be everyone's favorite wrestler, let alone the top guy in any promotion! But to answer your question, at the pay per view, I'll be facing Mr. Strange in a match to become the #1 Contender for the APW Overdrive Title, a match which I'll undoubtedly win.
Huckabee: How can you be so certain?
Biggs: First off, the guy wrestles in a V for Vendetta mask, so besides suffering from a total lack of originality, I highly doubt he can see well out of the mask. Secondly, while he may fight an unorthodox style, he has made the mistake of being predictable with said style. It doesn't matter how fancy and off kilter your moves are if you perform them in the same pattern each and every match. However, I figured that since most of your audience wouldn't be familiar with Mr. Strange, I had a little video made that will show you everything you need to know about my opponent this Sunday night!
Huckabee: Ok, let's roll it!
The studio lights darken as a video begins to play on a screen behind Mike Huckabee and Biggs. “Zero,” by the Yeah Yeah Yeah's () begins to play as the video shows a fat man dressed all in black wearing a V mask is shown dancing in front of a psychedelic background. The fat “Mr. Strange” flanked by two midgets dressed the same way, and as the music starts, they start doing The Twist. Footage of the fake Mr. Strange and midgets dancing are intercut with footage of the real Mr. Strange on the receiving end of several vicious wrestling moves he's suffered during matches. Each time the song hits the chorus, “Mr. Strange” and the midgets switch dances, doing such moves as The Funky Chicken, The Sprinkler, and The Macarena! Vignettes of the fat Mr. Strange wandering around Washington DC are also shown during the video. Fat Mr. Strange is shown getting beaten by an old woman with her purse, getting kicked in the shin by a little boy, and getting punched out by a fake President Obama. The video ends with Fat Mr. Strange passed out on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, with Biggs passing by and shaking is head as the video and song come to a close. As the lights come back on, Biggs and Mike Huckabee are both wearing V masks, which garners laughs from the crowd.
Huckabee: I see what you mean about not being able to see out of these things!
The crowd continues to chuckle as Biggs and Huckabee remove the masks.
Huckabee: Well, Biggs, thanks again for appearing on the show, and best of luck in your match tomorrow night against Mr. Strange.
Biggs: Thank you.
Huckabee turns to the camera to speak.
Huckabee: APW Mayhem will be live on pay per view tomorrow night. Make sure you get a chance to catch all the action!
Huckabee goes to a commercial break as Mike Huckabee shakes Biggs' hand again.
