Post by biggs on May 31, 2009 20:06:15 GMT -4
It's about 15 minutes into the APW Mayhem PPV Countdown show that airs for free before the pay per view comes on the air. It's hosted by Darren Harvey and Johnny Chase.
Chase: The Anarchy Cell promises to be one of the most brutal contests we've ever seen in APW!
Harvey: Wait, we're getting word that there's something going on outside the arena! Let's take you there!
Outside the arena, where a lot of fans are still waiting in line, a podium is set up. It has mic on it, and is flanked by red, white, and blue balloons on either side. A large video screen is set up to the side of the podium. The Killers' “Spaceman” plays as Biggs makes his way to the podium, decked out in his fancy ring jacket and shades, with security guards accompanying him. Biggs is also wearing his “Biggs for #1 Contender” button. The crowd is booing Biggs as he reaches the podium and begins to speak.
Biggs: My fellow Americans, I stand before you today as a man preparing for his first pay per view match in APW, and it is to determine the #1 Contender for the APW Overdrive Championship. And while this is my first APW pay per view, I can assure each and everyone of you that this is not my first barbecue, so to speak. I have been wrestling professionally for the better part of five years, headlining countless pay per views and winning numerous championships, drawing record breaking buy rates as I went along. And while I know the higher ups in APW refuse to recognize my previous accomplishments by having my match open the show, I want to commend them for having sense enough to put me on the pay per view, because the simple fact is that Biggs equals buys!
The crowd is still booing Biggs as he pauses to flash his trademark smirk.
Biggs: Now my opponent tonight is, for lack of a better term, crazy! Mr. Strange has been gallivanting around the globe trying to gather up some sort of super-natural army. What this has to do with professional wrestling, I have no idea, but what I do know is that Mr. Strange is not the best candidate to represent Action Packed Wrestling as the Overdrive Champion! If you saw his match on Overdrive this past week, he seemed barely present. Also, the fact that Mr. Strange chooses to hide his face behind the “V” mask shows that not only is his creativity and originality, but it is indicative of his cowardice, because only a coward is unwilling to show his face. Now perhaps Mr. Strange wears the mask as a courtesy to the rest of us, sparing us the sight of his hideous mug, but the fact remains that he's an inherently dishonest person.
Biggs pauses to adjust his shades, then he continues to speak.
Biggs: I know many of you dislike me, but unlike my opponent, I am an honest man, I have nothing to hide. And also, unlike my opponent, I am 100 percent focused on my in-ring career. I don't know whether Mr. Strange is a meglomaniacal tyrant who happens to wrestle on the side, or a wrestler who wants to become a meglomaniacal tyrant. Either way, his plan is flawed, because if the former is the case, there's no way he'll be fully concentrating on the match, for which I'll make him pay. If it's the latter, trying to use professional wrestling as a means to world domination makes even less sense than Jeff Jarret trying to use the WWF as a springboard to a country music career!
The crowd laughs at Biggs' comment as the arrogant star continues.
Biggs: Tonight's match is similar to a political primary in the fact that it merely determines whom Shadow will face in his next title defense. Victory tonight does not result in being crowned a champion, it merely gives the opportunity to wrestle for it. But I can assure you that after I defeat Mr. Strange tonight, I will go on to defeat Shadow to become the next APW Overdrive Champion! But don't take my word for it. If you will please divert your attention to the screen.
At this point, a video begins to play, with the governor of Washington State on the screen.
Gregoire: I am Washington stage Governor Christine Gregoire, and I endorse Biggs for #1 Contender!
The video continues, showing many athletes, celebrities, and politicians, all of them stating their name and saying that they endorse Biggs for #1 Contender. Such persons as Mike Huckabee, Ken Griffey Jr., Adam Sandler, Rush Limbaugh, David Letterman, John McCain, former president George Bush Sr., and Arnold Schwarzenegger all appear. The video ends with President Barak Obama on the screen.
Obama: I am the president of the United States of America, Barak Obama, and I endorse Biggs as the #1 Contender for the APW Overdrive Title.
The crowd cheers the president as the video comes to a close. Biggs has a big grin on his face as he speaks again.
Biggs: Even the president of the frickin' United States of America knows that I am the best choice for #1 Contender, and I will prove it tonight when I beat Mr. Strange in the middle of that ring! Love me or hate me, you can't help but admit that I am simply out of this world!
Biggs gives the thumbs up as his music plays again. He then proceeds to shake hands with the fans that are willing, kissing babies as he goes along! The camera shifts back to the arena focusing on Harvey and Chase.
Harvey: Well, that was different. Biggs is treating this #1 Contenders match almost like a political campaign. That will be an interesting match tonight when he faces off with Mr. Strange.
Chase: Biggs did bring up several valid points, though it will be great to see how this match turns out!
Harvey: Remember folks, in order to see this match, and all the other great action tonight on APW Mayhem, be sure to call your cable or satellite operator and order the show right now! You have about 35 minutes to order, so don't miss it!
Chase: The Anarchy Cell promises to be one of the most brutal contests we've ever seen in APW!
Harvey: Wait, we're getting word that there's something going on outside the arena! Let's take you there!
Outside the arena, where a lot of fans are still waiting in line, a podium is set up. It has mic on it, and is flanked by red, white, and blue balloons on either side. A large video screen is set up to the side of the podium. The Killers' “Spaceman” plays as Biggs makes his way to the podium, decked out in his fancy ring jacket and shades, with security guards accompanying him. Biggs is also wearing his “Biggs for #1 Contender” button. The crowd is booing Biggs as he reaches the podium and begins to speak.
Biggs: My fellow Americans, I stand before you today as a man preparing for his first pay per view match in APW, and it is to determine the #1 Contender for the APW Overdrive Championship. And while this is my first APW pay per view, I can assure each and everyone of you that this is not my first barbecue, so to speak. I have been wrestling professionally for the better part of five years, headlining countless pay per views and winning numerous championships, drawing record breaking buy rates as I went along. And while I know the higher ups in APW refuse to recognize my previous accomplishments by having my match open the show, I want to commend them for having sense enough to put me on the pay per view, because the simple fact is that Biggs equals buys!
The crowd is still booing Biggs as he pauses to flash his trademark smirk.
Biggs: Now my opponent tonight is, for lack of a better term, crazy! Mr. Strange has been gallivanting around the globe trying to gather up some sort of super-natural army. What this has to do with professional wrestling, I have no idea, but what I do know is that Mr. Strange is not the best candidate to represent Action Packed Wrestling as the Overdrive Champion! If you saw his match on Overdrive this past week, he seemed barely present. Also, the fact that Mr. Strange chooses to hide his face behind the “V” mask shows that not only is his creativity and originality, but it is indicative of his cowardice, because only a coward is unwilling to show his face. Now perhaps Mr. Strange wears the mask as a courtesy to the rest of us, sparing us the sight of his hideous mug, but the fact remains that he's an inherently dishonest person.
Biggs pauses to adjust his shades, then he continues to speak.
Biggs: I know many of you dislike me, but unlike my opponent, I am an honest man, I have nothing to hide. And also, unlike my opponent, I am 100 percent focused on my in-ring career. I don't know whether Mr. Strange is a meglomaniacal tyrant who happens to wrestle on the side, or a wrestler who wants to become a meglomaniacal tyrant. Either way, his plan is flawed, because if the former is the case, there's no way he'll be fully concentrating on the match, for which I'll make him pay. If it's the latter, trying to use professional wrestling as a means to world domination makes even less sense than Jeff Jarret trying to use the WWF as a springboard to a country music career!
The crowd laughs at Biggs' comment as the arrogant star continues.
Biggs: Tonight's match is similar to a political primary in the fact that it merely determines whom Shadow will face in his next title defense. Victory tonight does not result in being crowned a champion, it merely gives the opportunity to wrestle for it. But I can assure you that after I defeat Mr. Strange tonight, I will go on to defeat Shadow to become the next APW Overdrive Champion! But don't take my word for it. If you will please divert your attention to the screen.
At this point, a video begins to play, with the governor of Washington State on the screen.
Gregoire: I am Washington stage Governor Christine Gregoire, and I endorse Biggs for #1 Contender!
The video continues, showing many athletes, celebrities, and politicians, all of them stating their name and saying that they endorse Biggs for #1 Contender. Such persons as Mike Huckabee, Ken Griffey Jr., Adam Sandler, Rush Limbaugh, David Letterman, John McCain, former president George Bush Sr., and Arnold Schwarzenegger all appear. The video ends with President Barak Obama on the screen.
Obama: I am the president of the United States of America, Barak Obama, and I endorse Biggs as the #1 Contender for the APW Overdrive Title.
The crowd cheers the president as the video comes to a close. Biggs has a big grin on his face as he speaks again.
Biggs: Even the president of the frickin' United States of America knows that I am the best choice for #1 Contender, and I will prove it tonight when I beat Mr. Strange in the middle of that ring! Love me or hate me, you can't help but admit that I am simply out of this world!
Biggs gives the thumbs up as his music plays again. He then proceeds to shake hands with the fans that are willing, kissing babies as he goes along! The camera shifts back to the arena focusing on Harvey and Chase.
Harvey: Well, that was different. Biggs is treating this #1 Contenders match almost like a political campaign. That will be an interesting match tonight when he faces off with Mr. Strange.
Chase: Biggs did bring up several valid points, though it will be great to see how this match turns out!
Harvey: Remember folks, in order to see this match, and all the other great action tonight on APW Mayhem, be sure to call your cable or satellite operator and order the show right now! You have about 35 minutes to order, so don't miss it!
