Pence Weatherlight Presents: You are Just One Man!

[Nick Watson]

Last Time on Pence's Enlightenment

Pence Weatherlight went over his time in month five with a banquet for the Make a Wish Foundation. He would gather up a large sum of money and would be asked to show up at the next banquet. It would then speed ahead to when Pence was asked by APW to finally sign and he accepted, Nick asked about it and got his answer, they poked fun at John Green. Pence left to go open a new orphanage in Pennsylvania. At the end of February Pence was fishing and would talk to his old friend James Snyder who said he had plans for him over in APW and was looking forward to working with him over it and was currently building his hype for his return. Pence would then appear in the present and talk to his opponents in front of several thousand people. So the story continues....

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The scene has no witty opening, its not in front of a thousand or more fans waiting to see a show, no it is in a quiet room in a Washington D.C. hotel. The lights are dimmed down so that nothing can be seen, the only sound is the rhythmic breathing of one man, who sits alone on his bed, looking at the only source of media in the room that is visible. He shakes his head, the light from the camera's blinking light casting a shadow over the man's face as he puts his head down, and thinks to himself. He lifts his head until his eyes are staring right out into the camera, he clenches his fists, and brushes back his hair. Pence, the man in front of the camera, is calm for a man who has been trashed by people with a lesser level of experience and intelligence than him. He slowly comes out of a sort of coma and begins to speak slowly.

Pence: Ladies and gentlemen, I am sorry, but due to heavy stupidity I have decided not to show Enlightenment Part IV until after Mayhem, you can thank Green and Level-One for that. Lets give them a grand round of applause for not accomplishing anything worth merit with their promos.

Pence gives a mock round of applause for thirty seconds before continuing.

Pence: By accomplishing absolutely nothing, you all have simply fueled me to come out of my element, to leave the streets of Washington D.C. untrodden by its future champion, let me be frank with all of you. You make me sick, you make me want to go into your houses with a gun and kill you all off. I don't care who your security is, I don't care how skilled you think you are, but I can kill you, and if you all seek to make me feel completely pissed at the low amount of effort you are all putting in, then expect me at your houses with a loaded gun after Mayhem. The fans deserve better than what you all are giving them the same fucking routine that you always give, this is a pay per view, people pay more money here than at any other venue in the business and you guys want to bore them with thoughts of systems or illiterate speeches or sarcastic monologues from a never was. Are you all fucking retarded? Or am I just being smarter than you...no never mind. Why bother right? You guys are just going to pass me by right? Right John? Its not like I smashed your face in you arrogant fucking troll, go give Level One a hand job and shut the fuck up. Know your God damn role, the role of the jobber. Oh and Royce, your not the new face of APW, your the angry, not so skilled idiot of APW, don't get yourself confused with me ever again or I will stab your eyes out and shove them down your throat. Capiesh? Oh and Level One, honestly? Don't bring me into your stupid analogies, you couldn't put a good analogy together to save your sad, twisted, lower than dirt life, so don't act like you know anything about me and go play who's in your mouth with Jason and John. I'm done catering you dumb shits and giving you the illusion that your intelligent or even have a say in who is going to be a champion at Mayhem. Look no further than me, ignore it all you want, right now I can tell you are feeling a bit stupified as to how someone like me can just explode like that? Its called innovation and we are not talking about switching up a few moves here and there, we are talking about changing the character and attitude and the whole damn mindset. Level One is good at changing his attitude, he does it on a daily basis, he is real damn good at it, he puts me to shame with it. I mean when you think of innovation think of Level-One...yeah fuckin right. Get real Level, if your all about the Game On then why is the power switch off. Your whole speech was filled with nonsense about me being in some kind of damn system and you pulling the mother board out or frying the computer...whatever the hell that means. The only frying I'm worried about is when I am cooking my eggs or making some chicken. Your promo was boring at best and made me want to punch every member of the booking staff for ever giving you a shot at being APW Champion and for not just evicting you from the title in the first place. Seriously, you beat who? No, don't answer that, I would hate to hear you speak about how you are number one and everyone should be sucking you off or making you sandwiches because you are owed some big ass debt for being the suckiest fighter to ever come out and lace his boots up. You may have beat the last champion and you may be on a huge winning streak now, but do you think I give a damn about that? Do you think I care if Level-One is undefeated or has beaten every other fuckin retarded selfish prick in the APW? If I gave you the illusion I cared about it or even alluded to me caring about it, I apologize, but seriously all that shit is in the past, just like you are about to be when I beat you and liberate the billions of fans we have from your selfish tyrannical, full of shit championship reign. Level One you are like the town whore, everyone comes to you for a good old fucking, am I right? Look at John and Jason, those two shits fucked you till you were dry and then turned on you with a little nudge from yours truly, not that I wanted them to explode on you, and not like I cared for how they are acting towards you now and in some way I think you are right, you are owed something. You are owed the respect of those who you have brought up in the business and gave them the chance to shine, but yet these two have not given you the credit you deserve. Meanwhile, your getting older and the competition is getting younger, fresher, and stronger, meanwhile the skin on your face is beginning to sag and grow droopy like an old man. Hell, your even rambling like an old man now, talking about the good old days, and talking about shit that has nothing to do with a title match or anyone for that matter.

Pence takes a breath and goes to the window, at least that's what it looks like. He opens it a crack and sees at least thirty media personnel standing outside waiting on him to come out. Pence sighs and puts the curtains back in front of the window, he comes back to the bed and takes a seat, he speaks again a slight smile on his face.

Pence: Sorry, didn't want to get old man Level One all pissed about me not breathing in between sentences and shit like that, even though good old Level One did more talking than I did and did not once stop to breathe, if you don't believe me just...no fuck that don't watch his promo. I don't want them all to commit suicide or go off to be ax murderers, because then who would pay for my salary or help the community or build retirement homes for people like Level One. To recap, just so you can see what I've actually said, because by now Level One is yawning just like I was when I was watching his promo. I have called you an old, full of shit man Level One, I have also called your annalogies trite and full of fail, I have also called you the town whore because everyone has apparently fucked you out of something to the point where you believed you are owed shit. Am I missing anything? Oh yeah! The people who do owe you respect are simply not giving you it and oh, your getting old and you can't seem to make enough sense with the way you are speaking about frying and system which aren't even close to being relevant or entertaining. Oh also, you have put on the same bullshit performance as you always have, meanwhile people are jumping off of bridges and shooting kids after watching your promos. Okay, I'm pretty sure that is all that I have said to you so far?

Camera Man: What about the part with him bringing you into his analogies?

Pence: Thanks man, Michael was it?

Camera Man: Yeah.

Pence: Michael just reminded me to tell you not to put me into your analogies if at all possible and to avoid it at all costs because I will bring a gun to your house and shoot you till you don't move.

Pence thinks for a few moments before opening his mouth again and talking.

Pence: Anyways, moving away from Level One due to the fact that his incompetence and level of retardation make me want to go off myself in the bathroom, lets move on to John Green. Remember folks this is not my speech, this is simply a little talk to talk before the match, not to be misconstrued with Level One posting his speech in the middle of his promo to confuse you to no end and make you feel bad that you may have missed his whole promo or John Green who had two speeches, neither of which entertained me or made me feel like I needed to worry about him. You see Captain Sarcasm has been jobbing for so long so that he could gain an opportunity like this, but that in itself does not make any sense. How can jobbing get you any where but at the bottom of the ladder, oh fuck it, this whole match doesn't make sense, after all we have Level-One as champion and Jason Royce and John Green as contenders, we can just go ahead and throw all sanity to the wind and just delve into the insanity. Or better yet we can just not watch John Green or Jason Royce's promo for Mayhem and pretend like this is an actual one on one match, it feels like that to me. After all, neither of the other contenders are that great, they have sat idly by waiting for a chance, meanwhile I took up the reigns and accepted Level One's challenge why they were rolling on the floor preparing for sexual intercourse, luckily my static distorted the video and stopped that shit from getting on live television. You should all be thanking me for that. Once again John Green opens his mouth on live television and pretends he is more than just a joke to the whole world, he thinks the fans are on his side, but he has clearly misunderstood the bigger picture. This happens a lot to people who just can't seem to focus in on the all to true details, John, my arrogant, dumb as shit friend, the fans are no where even near your side, and neither does anyone even consider you a real contender. Right now the fans are completely on my side and that brings me to the topic of who exactly told you the fans would just fall in line on your whim? Do you think underdog syndrome works all the time? Hell no, especially in this case, the fans know better than to trust you or hell, even cut you any slack. Know your role, your a damn jobber, you never had a chance, and you will most definitely never have a chance once I beat Level One at Mayhem. So don't you worry that angry dick loving face of yours, I'm sure Jason Royce will want to play some games with you after the match is over. Oh and by the way, I heard you say you were here in APW longer, not only do I not care, but I think I will have to kick your ass more just to make a statement. Seniority means nothing, all it means is that I will kick your ass harder than it has ever been kicked for bringing up seniority in a match like this. You have no choices but two John. You take a damn Heavy Artillery and then crawl under the ring and die or you take a Battle Testimony and roll on the ground for a bit till I'm ready to pin you. The choice is yours, because right now, there are no other options. So go choke on a dick and die, you sad excuse for a human being.

Pence was tapped on the shoulder by Michael, who speaks to him.

Michael: Um, did you forget what he said about your record? I heard he was mocking you a lot about it.

Pence: Thank you Michael. What would I do without you all great and powerful APW staff? I would probably be using a hand held camera to get my message out. Oh man that would be fucked up. Anyways, Michael I will discuss that later, but right now lets move on to Jason Royce, okay?

Crickets are heard somewhere in the room and Pence sighs, he really should have done this in public. Pence gets a nod from Michael and he begins again.

Pence: So...what did Royce say about me? Mr. Angry didn't really do much. I guess this match just isn't important to him. I would think if the mainstream title was on the line he would pick up the steam and actually fight, but I suppose that is too much for a man who doesn't even know how to complete a sentence without making somebody want to sock him square in the jaw. Anyways, Royce is not at all important, he never has been, I beat him twice as captain sarcasm had so quaintly pointed out in his promo. The only thing Royce said about me was he never wants to know me. Now that is harsh, I think I need to go get a hanky and blow my God damn nose after hearing that. That's just sad...actually I am quite thrilled, if I see you after Mayhem it would probably make me go quite mad. I'm going to do my best to forget you ever existed Jason, it's kind of like your claim to this belt, after all that never existed either. You are a joke Royce and you think you deserve credit? Credit for what? Making it in the extreme division once and then following Level One around like a lovestruck lover? Sorry Jason, better luck next time, I hear that John is looking for a new man, you might be able to spice up his life a bit with your always boring and trivial monologues. Or perhaps maybe you can teach him some real talking skills, maybe he will learn saying little is better than boring me to death with pointless chatter. Anyways Jason, when I win the belt, you will not be in my division anymore, a matter of fact I'm going to ask Jeff to release you from APW, and I hope to God he takes my advice. Knowing you, you will bitch and whine and cry and nobody will give a fuck and finally you will latch on to someone and ride his coattails to the top. Good luck with that Jason. Anyways I suppose this pre-promo talk is over with. We can go ahead and roll the footage from the training I did yesterday. Go ahead roll it.

*Scene bursts to static*
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*May 31st*

He lifted the weight with a lot of effort and grunted as he brought it back down to his chest and then back up. The seemingly five hundred and twenty pounds Pence was lifting was causing him to breathe heavily and tiring him out quickly, but he could see Nick clear on the other side of the room, looking at him and rubbing his chin. Nick reminded Pence of a coach for football, always yelling, always brash, and always angry. Nick could see that Pence was tiring out, but he didn't care, Pence needed to add another twenty pounds to his limit to prove that he was the strongest man to ever step up and try to fight Level One, but to Pence strength wasn't everything. Pence also focused on mind and soul, which were also appealing qualities to a fighter going into a difficult match, right now though Pence was beginning to wish he had never taken on the burden as number one contender to the APW title. Nick walked over and spoke as loudly as he could, causing it to resonate off the walls and bounce around the room.

Nick: Level One and the others are no push overs to beat them you have to excel beyond your normal strengths and gain advantages over the their strengths. You need to play defensively and not for the moment, think of the long term qualities of this match. If you win the people all around the world will need you to be strong and wise. so promise me that you will not be like the others and fight with a clear mind. Win the match and don't get too badly hurt.

Pence put the bar back on the rack and sat up, he would turn around to look at Nick and wipe the sweat from his brow.

Pence: I'm pretty sure the time for me thinking I'm going to go into this match and not be injured is gone. I can guarantee you with the egos in the ring fighting with me. There is no chance in hell I will walk out uninjured.

Nick nodded in acceptance and walked over to the wall and lit a cigarette. Pence was close behind and stood next to him.

Nick: Most of the training I have done with you for the past two or so weeks is for six on one match ups. In the match you are going in there will be a total of six men in the ring. The men that you are fighting and the men they could become. You must be that seventh man, show them that you are better than them by playing the defensive and do not give them any time to breathe or correct a mistake. If they miss, you hit them hard. Got me?

Pence: Sure do Nick.

Nick: Alright, push-ups then. I want two hundred of them.

Pence would do as he was told, getting into push-up position he would begin to lift his own body weight after the grueling benching he had done. Nick nodded his head, he knew Pence was ready, the problem was Pence was cutting his opponent too much slack in the verbal department. Nick would sit down on a nearby fold out chair and would speak to Pence, taking a drag of his cigarette and then beginning.

Nick: Listen to me Pence, these three you are fighting are not going to be playing nice. They will not be playing fair like you will be, they will use any trick they can to get you out of the match and them a title. You have to be on their level, you have to be as mean as cruel as them. Use every tactic you would use in the street to gain a considerable advantage and cross your fingers because in a No DQ match anything can happen, the tide can change in seconds.

Pence grunted in recognition and Nick got up and walked away, leaving Pence to lift himself up. Pence reached two-hundred pushups and each second that went by tired him down even more, he would take a fifteen minute break, stretching his arms and legs. Fans walked by and cheered on their hero Pence, he would wave back and continue on with his stretches. After fifteen minutes, Pence, who had memorized the training exercises of his personal trainer, went straight to the leg bench. There he would set the machine's weight at seven hundred and seventy pounds. If he had the ability to lift five hundred and twenty with his arms, he had been tought by Nick, he also needs to lift seven hundred and seventy with his legs so he can lift his own weight with the five hundred and fifty added. Pence groaned in pain and roared in exhaustion as Nick walked up and passed a kid who was holding an autograph book. He nodded his head as Pence lifted the heavy weight for the fiftieth time and then he would stop and turn to look at the kid. The kid walked over to him and held out his book and Pence would look to Nick who would shrug. Pence put the weights up and then would sit down on a bench, out of breath he would speak.

Pence: So...whats your...name?

Kid: Drew.

Pence: Nice to...meet you Drew. I'm gue..ssing you want me to sign your book there?

Drew: Yes, would you please! Pence your favorite wrestler of all time, you are always the best in the ring and I hope you beat those three at Mayhem.

Pence: Me too kid, me too.

Pence finished signing and patted the kid on the shoulder who, with a smile, exited the gym and left Pence with his personal trainer. Pence would turn to look at Nick who would nod his head.

Pence: Its time.
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*Later that evening*

Nick: Sorry folks.

The scene opens on Nick wading through a sea of news reporters wanting to get the big scoop on Pence Weatherlight and how he was feeling about his match tomorrow. Nick just pushed his way through and did the special knock, Pence let him quickly and closed the door behind Nick. Nick sat down on one of the couches in the suite that Pence was using as his temporary home until after Mayhem, as Pence too took a seat in a chair on the other side of the room.

Nick: Vicous bastards. Nearly took the food that I went out and got. That would have been a damn shame too. After a day of training like that, I would hate to go hungry into a match like tomorrows. So what do you want?

He showed him the TV dinners he had brought with him and Pence laughed.

Nick: I'm being serious! Which one do you want? salisbury steak or chicken nuggets?

Pence: Fix me up some nuggets then. Oh, did you happen to get the letter from the post office that was sent to my room that was stolen?

Nick: Yeah.

Nick reached in one of his coat pockets and produced a yellowish enveloped letter. Pence took the letter from Nick's outstretched hand and began to read it. to himself.

Dear Pence,

You will never believe this, but I just got back from Jeff's office, he wants to talk about you writing a book or hell, even movie documenting your life. He says that it will be good for business and you could also give a little bit of the proceeds over to charities. He says he is down for about anything you are willing to do. It all depends on what you want to do with it. Anyways I have stuff I need to do. I have big things planned for you at Mayhem.

Sincerely,
James Snyder

Nick: So, what is it about?

Pence turned to look at Nick, who was standing in front of the microwave holding a steaming hot plate of chicken nuggets with mash potatoes.

Pence: Something about me writing a book or making a documentary on my life. Jeff wants me to try to do it, so maybe I will try it, and besides some of the proceeds will be going to charity. So all in all it is a good idea and most likely I will be taking it.

Nick: Sounds good to me.

Nick put the plate of food in front of Pence who commenced to eat it. Nick put his own plate in the microwave and sat down at the table, pulling out several recognizable packets of the all too familiar liquid that Pence hadn't drank in over three years.

Nick: Which flavor of Koolaid do you want?

Pence: Got any watermelon?
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*Verizon Center*

The fans are going crazy, they are literally tearing at the barricades trying to get in as Pence walks down the entrance ramp towards the ring. He waves his hand at all the fans around him who begin to chant his name. He smiles as he gets inside the ring and takes a look around at all of the fans who he knows have been waiting here for some time. He gets a mic from the technical staff next to the ring and points down the entrance ramp.

Pence: Bring those kids in here.

Sure enough, about twenty kids come running down the entrance ramp with Nick in tow. Nick looks scared, maybe he shouldn't have given them that Koolaid after all. Laughing as all of the kids get inside the ring, Pence sits on top one of the ring posts and waits for the rest of the gang to show up. Sure enough James Snyder descends down the entrance ramp as well and has a kid on his shoulders who is beating on the top of his skull with her fists. Pence can't hide his amusement as all fourty kids settle down inside the ring and outside the ring the thousands of fans await for Pence's long awaited speech.

Pence: Before we begin tonight I would like you all to give a hometow welcome to these fourty elementary kid students. So go on give them a nice round of applause!

The fans do so and it is almost deafening for everyone who is listening in. Pence nods his head as he too begins to cheer and applaud the kids in the ring. The kids are so excited you can see them almost spazzing out in the middle of the ring. Pence opens his mouth and begins to speak.

Pence: Ladies and gentlemen tonight is a big night, tonight is the night of Mayhem. The long awaited rematch of Level One versus Pence Weatherlight and the long awaited rematch between Jason Royce and John Green. I can tell you all are hyped, so let the world hear just how hyped you are!

Pence holds out his microphone and the fans begin to chant "Weatherlight" and applaud and yell and do anything really that shows just how energized the fans are tonight. Pence puts the microphone back to his lips and begins again.

Pence: Now that the world knows how hyped you guys are, let me go ahead and address some things I didn't address earlier with some of my opponents. I know you guys have been waiting for the grand finale to this promo as I have been waiting for the opportunity to rise to the task and become your APW champion. So lets go ahead and start before you guys break down those barriers and storm the ring like a bunch of viking raiders.

He gets a lot of laughs from the fans as he continues to speak.

Pence: For the past month I have had fun in the ring, I have watched as millions of fans have chanted my name as I have fought men who are definetly top notch competitors in their own minds. Now I know there is a lot of hate between all of us participating in the match that will never go away, that will last with us and our careers. But let me tell you this, tonight, at Mayhem, we will make this a match that will never ever be forgotten! We will make this the greatest Mayhem yet and one of us will be walking out as APW champion, while the rest of us go on with our careers to do great things. Let me guarentee this to you all out there, I will not let you down. Your trust has not been misplaced and as much as my opponents like to point out my inadequacy they know that they are wrong deep down. They know I am just as deserving as they are, but I am more hungry and I am much more refreshed than they are. I haven't fought as hard as they have had to, to get here, but sure as hell that doesn't mean anything except that I am more rested, and I am more prepped for war than those three. I have taken my time to prepare, to strengthen myself so that I could take this match and become a strong champion and I hope you will all join me as I take on these three tonight and bring their worlds crashing around them.

He gets the fans to start chanting "Weatherlight" and he raises his hands up and with his index finger pointing up signifies he is number one. The fans go crazy and he is completely and utterly excited.

Pence: Now who should I address first? Who do you think kids?

The kids all talk amongst themselves quietly as the fans go crazy with anticipation, finally one kid walks up to him and whispers in his ear. Pence nods and begins again.

Pence: The children have spoken, first up on the chopping block is none other than the current champion...Level One!

The fans cheer, knowing the history between the two wrestlers.

Pence: Level One, Level One, Level One...how dissapointing. You never really did understand the true physics behind wrestling, you always assume that others who are not like you are part of this so called 'system' and with that assumption you pretty much ex that person out, saying he is not worth the time, or worse, just not giving a shit about him. Now let me tell you something punk, I am neither part of your 'system' or anywhere near being as cocky or arrogant as your sorry ass. You think you can walk in and walk out the same way you came, as a champion, well get this, you will walk in and walk out the same way you came in, yes you will. You will walk in a big steamy pile of shit and walk out a big steamy pile of shit, in that retrospect you are right. I draw the line however at you walking out as APW champion, as a matter of fact I would bet that you walk out of here with a broken bone come match time. Your bitch of the month, Patricia is right, you should leave and get your priorities straight, because right now you are signing your life away by stepping into the ring with me.

It not that I am threatening you, its the fact that I am promising you a loss, I am promising you an end to your deep seated arrogance, I am promising you an end to your undefeated streak, and I am promising all of these fans...

A large amount of the fans are on their feet chanting now as Pence begins again.

Pence: A Pence Weatherlight APW championship reign, tonight! HERE IN WASHINGTON D.C.! The state that embodies the whole of America and patriotism at its finest! Here in this state I will crush you like an ant under my boot and step over you and all of the obstacles you have set up to claim my prize...the APW championship. Cry and whine about it all you want, degrade me all you damn please, the end result will all be the same, because you are but one man Level, while I may appear to be the same, I am everywhere in this arena tonight. I am in the stands chanting my name, I am in the middle of this ring thinking about how cool I am, and I am outside the arena talking on the cell about how hyped I am about the match tonight. Level One, I am the embodiment of all the fans and I am their voice, and as long as I am here, you will never be safe with the APW championship. I don't need to look back at the people of the past Level to tell that you are full of shit, or that you are the most arrogant mother fucker next to John Green. I don't need to look back at that weak ass BDC, I don't need to look back at Shadow Man, I don't need to look back at Hurricane Jeff, because all I need is right up here.

Pence points to his head and the fans go crazy.

Pence: And right here.

He points to his muscles and the fans again go crazy.

And all of these people around me, to win this match!

The fans are literally exploding now, trying to rip through the barricades even more. Pence calms them down by putting the microphone to his lips again.

Pence: You call yourself the best wrestler in the world, I beg to disagree. Wrestling is not all about your ability to step into the ring and take on opponent after opponent, it is also about your ability to raise the spirit of the fans around you, to gain strength from them, to rise above the common mortality and become a God through them. Level One you have never been able to get the fans to the same level of spirit as I have and you never will be able to. Not as long as you consider yourself, out of countless hundreds of wrestlers, to be the best...learn to be humble and maybe, but the likelihood of that happening and being successful fall short of poor. With that the likelihood of winning for you is also in the same boat, your right though, I have no microphone, I have no manager, my contract means nothing, and hell my speeches are not going to save me the time of having to come out and wrestle you in the middle of this ring. But that doesn't matter as much as what level of training I have been pushing, what level of endurance it has taken to train to fight you three. I am the only one out of all of us who can take so many hits and keep coming and its not because of my endurance. It is because of them.

Pence points at the children and then the people in the arena.

Pence: These people are my endurance, they are my lifeline and will forever give me the strength to stand toe to toe with you Level and give me the power to beat the living shit out of you Weatherlight style. But then we have your so called 'system', you say the system knows what the people want, then that system must be me, the system has to be me because clearly I am the only man in this damn match who knows what these people want. They want to not see Level One as the freakishly retarded champion who continues to go on his winning streak, they are tired of seeing you get gift wrapped matches, they want me more than they want you. So yes, you are not necessary, not to say that you were in the first place. You believe you are the best and you think you can beat me without the help of Jason Royce, so prove it you cock eating mother fucker, prove to me that you have the cahones to step into the ring with me and face me down. Forget the other two, its not about them anymore, its about us, and this is our match and trust me the system will make no excuses, I'm pretty sure I will keep my mouth shut when I beat the ever living hell out of you and then leave you for dead in this ring. Plus if you think I will take the easy way out, you are wrong. I will pin you or any other mother fucker who happens to be dumb enough to get in a pinning predicament first. I want to prove that I am better than you, so instead of whining like a bitch about the 'system' why don't you go ahead and prove you are worth the time and money that these people have invested in us. Because this match may be about us, but this night is about them.

The fans pop again and Pence smiles, the fans are enjoying this, they love great competition and right now they can sense a dead heat between Pence and Level One, the likes of none that anyone has ever seen before.

Pence: There will be no excuses and this 'system made product' will be your kicking your ass all around this arena if you don't shut the fuck up about systems in your next damn promo. I dare say I have never claimed to be superior in fact the only reason I will win tonight is because of the fans and history may repeat itself, but not tonight, never tonight. Tonight is their night and they are ready for change and are ready to take the next step towards a brighter APW and that way is the Pence Weatherlight way. So tonight..17-0....it washes itself down the toilet. Tonight, it is 17-1. And tonight, this wall paper is going to tromp a trend setter, or so called trend setter...oh and by the way? What trends has Level One started, I have yet to see one, if he is counting John Green and Jason Royce I pity the man. The people are tired of their opinions being back talked by an arrogant punk, tonight it ends...please just wait a bit longer ladies and gentlemen, please wait till the end of the match, please. If you wait that long, I can guarantee you a win. I CAN GUARANTEE THAT LEVEL ONE WILL FAIL TONIGHT! I can guarantee that Level One will fall at the hands of the man he views to be the least possible man to win, tonight...Pence takes gold home. How is that for third person. Tonight Pence Weatherlight switches off the power button to such a horrible game, to put a much better game on the table so that the whole family can enjoy, but enough about Level One, enough with his arrogance, enough with the whole "Game On", 'system', and 'motherboard' shit. We move on to someone who is even more arrogant, but truly has no reason for being so.

The fans all know who this is and begin to chant "John Green SUCKS!". Pence nods his head in agreement.

Pence: It may be true that John Green sucks, but how fair is it to talk about a never was, even in the prime of his career, John Green choked on big dick and then ran here to APW to try to hide his shame. He had a relatively good career here, but recently...once again he is beginning to suck big dick and fall deeper and deeper into an almost disgusting pit of fail. Yet he screams he is making a come back, but I ask you all, has anyone ever cared if John Green won or lost a match. Better yet, did anyone care if John Green failed to succeed once again tonight?

The fans say "Hell no" and Pence nods his head.

Pence: Once again Johnny boy, you are wrong. Nobody ever cared for you, even in your prime nobody gave a shit, and once again I find myself compelled to tell you just what is going to happen tonight, I find myself compelled to tell you how bad you will lose. John, you will not only lose, but you will never come back to your glory days, which weren't that great in the first place. You will be stuck fighting mid and low carders where you belong and don't you ever say that I was a low carder, I have done more things as a main eventer than you ever could have dreamed, I have beaten you even. Not that it matters, your just a skid mark in the underwear of APW and I say this, that is the truth. Level One has called you retarded, I have called you retarded, and I guarantee if Royce wasn't illiterate he would call you retarded too. Nobody cares and nobody ever will care about you, your a side show freak who will light the main event every now and again, but pass that you will never win another title. You are garbage, unfit to even clean the bottom of the shoes of the worst wrestlers, go eat shit and die. Your right though in one aspect, do I truly deserve to be champion?

Well it is too late to question such things, I'm going with the flow now, and the fans are hyped. The fans want me to win, so I will win. That's just how it works in this business the fan favorite usually has the advantage because they can draw off the power of the crowd to reach a level far beyond the limitation placed in front of them. But that is something you will never know about and as much as it saddens me to see you in a state of stupor, it pleases me to know that you will lose tonight so that everyone can see that Pence Weatherlight is more than worthy of a title like the APW championship. Yes, the secret of life, blah, blah, blah, blah...nobody wants to hear about your secrets anyway, we all know your wrong. Its fine to reveal how smart you are, but it is not right to reveal how stupid you are, and let me tell you John you are pretty fuckin stupid. A matter of fact at the end of your promo where you talked about me losing and that being the end, it shows how stupid you are, whether I win or lose, I will go on to be the best damn champion this business has seen. If I lose, I lose, there is no whining about it, there will be acceptance and then I will move on.

The fans all begin chanting "APW!" as Pence peers around the arena and lets out a pleasureable sigh.

Pence: Besides, things could be worse, I could have a drawn out pointless career like yours. Goodbye John, no need wasting time on a man who is not worth the effort...speaking of effort lets move on to Jason Royce. Like it or not, he will lose tonight, there is no doubt in my mind that when I speak about Jason Royce I can almost smell the lose permeating off his body and clogging my nose. This man has no talent and he speaks like a ten year old, no offense kids.

The kids nod their heads in agreement, even they know that Jason Royce is a horrible adult.

Pence: And yes Jason, you dragged me into this match, don't even try to hide that insincere face from me. I can see the lie from a mile away and it disgusts me that you would try to lie like that. Face if Jason you will lose tonight, you will be an easy pin for the likes of John and the likes of Level One. I may even take you as a pin myself, because lets face it Jason, if one man is clearly out gunned here in the final hours of Mayhem. It is you and only you. John has put out a better promo than you, which is saying much. He seems to want to avoid even touching a loss ass story like he did last time, but once again, your short ones fall short of being possible promos. I don't really care about you and nobody does, people talk to you just so that you can feel special, and then maybe go off to do something weak and pathetic, like going out and winning an extreme title. Go do that, this is not your fight and you are just wasting these peoples times.

The people boo in agreement as Pence gets up and walks around the top rope, balancing himself quite well for a big man like himself.

Pence: You may say that a match like this is a walk in the park for you, but I know it won't be. I have the same experience in street fighting as you do, I know some of these other fuckers have no clue what a No-DQ match means, after all none of them have even brought up the stipulation, save you and me. John brought it up for all of a second, but that isn't enough to saturate the thirst. Tonight I can walk out here with a damn crowbar and the referree can't do shit, no disqualification means more pain. So tonight when I step into this ring holding a crowbar or whatever weapon I deem fit to weild, I promise you that your hopes and dreams will be shattered along side your bones Royce.

The fans are happy with the presentation so far and now it is time to rap it up.

Pence: We have heard a lot about systems. A lot about careers. A lot about new faces. But let me tell you this, don't let any of them fool you ladies and gentlemen, because tonight this match will be the most hardest match in any of our careers, and only the strongest will survive. I can only hope that the only man left standing in that ring tonight with a belt around his waist is me...because any other way and you all will lose. This is Pence Weatherlight saying "Let the best man win". See you all in the main event!

The scene closes with all of the fans chanting "Mr. Main Event".
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The Fan Favorite
by David Walker (Pence's Writer)

The fan favorite is a man who can lead his people
The fan favorite is a man who has no equal
The fan favorite is a man who can energize the crowd
The fan favorite is a strong man, who is quite proud
For he is the fan favorite and all of his enemies should beware
Because they will never know when he will be there.