Post by "The Hottest Shit Going" on Oct 21, 2009 12:05:26 GMT -4
The White Lion jogs down the street. Sweat building up on his forehead sends out drops from time to time down his face. The man covered with a sweat suit that seems to be doing its job absorbing his perspiration. His feet pound the pavement as he pushes his body. His heart thumping inside his chest in a slightly accelerated pace as he takes in air to fill his lungs with oxygen. Lively rounds the corner and stops at a convenience store to catch a break. While cooling down for a moment the man walks inside to grab a bottle of water to quench his thirst. After a moment of pondering the various bottled water choices, Dasani, Arrowhead, Evian the selection is almost endless he decides to go with Smart Water. He walks over to the counter setting the bottle down as he reaches for his wallet. The clerk smiles and rings up the water. Just then the sun light gleams onto the floor blinding all who turn toward the door as it opens. In seconds voices can be heard screaming and making demands. The JESUS is now plopped right into the middle of a modern day stick up, and that realization was no more evident when the cold steel of a pistol was pressed into his temple.
"Don't move, don't be a hero, or you will be one dead hero!"
The JESUS then smirks with a devilish grin. If this man only knew he is the furthest thing from a hero. Hero's aren't selfish egomaniacs, and the JESUS is epitome of arrogant and self absorbed. The criminal sees the grin as a possible threat to his demand for corporation. Not wishing to spend any time in jail, or have his robbery attempt foiled, the man then pulls the trigger. Michael Lively hears the loudest sound ever as his little ears ring for a split second before his vision turns to pitch black darkness. Suddenly the man opens his eyes instantly clutching his head in reaction. He sits up looking around and sees no blood. Puzzled the man then lets go of his head noticing that there is no pain. He stands up as there is this eerie silence surrounding him. He looks up to the sky which seems to be overcast with clouds, then around at the fog surrounding him not sure of where he is. He looks down not happy about the white robed clothes he has on, and even more confused on how he came to wear these things in the first place. Just in front of him a bright glow can be seen and he screams out for help. No one responds and the JESUS begins a trek toward the light. After a few moments of walking the fog breaks around him to reveal a line built up in front of a pair of gates. The man begins to think to himself trying to put pieces together and figure out where he is. He remembers being shot, and then waking up here.
Lively: This is a fancy hospital, but they got to do something with these lines....outrageous!
Lively then shuffles forward as the line dwindles down. Before he knows it, his turn arrives at the front of the line. A man wearing glasses sits at a podium with a fancy scroll on the front of it. His hands rest on a book as he then stares outward asking for a name. Lively chuckles a bit, then responds.
Lively: I am the JESUS Michael Lively, I can't believe you haven't heard of me. I have the most win racked up in APW, held almost every title that company has to offer. I am a world wide sensation my friend, you need to get out more.
The man shakes his head as his fingers begin scanning the pages of the book. Just then he stops as if he found the what he was searching for.
Gate Keeper: Hey-Zeus Miguel Lively, arrival 876,989,237,277,103 has just been granted admission through the gates.
The man then motions for Lively to walk forward through the gates. He looks very puzzled because he has never been called Hey-Zeus Miguel before. He then walks in to what he thinks is a very unconventional hospital recovery center. His eyes begin scanning from left to right not feeling really comfortable with his current situation. He clearly remembers being shot, yet he feels no pain has no recollection of surgery and can't find any evidence of of stitching or mending. Lively is then startled by a man that has a sickening sense of happiness over him. The man smiling from ear to ear gives a silly chuckle and then addresses Michael Lively.
Happy Guy: How's it going, isn't this place great?
Lively looks at this man like a freaking nut case.
Lively: Damn fool, you must have had some serious trauma, there is no way a hospital recovery center is great.
Another chuckle from the jovial man is let loose.
Happy Guy: This is no hospital recovery center. You silly young man, you didn't recognize those pearly white gates, and Saint Peter who let you in, this is eternal salvation the kingdom....
Lively wastes no time to cut the man off in mid sentence.
Lively: Kingdom...the last time I heard the words Kingdom it spelled nothing but trouble for me. I had to put a serious beat down on the Burger King. This doesn't look like I can get things my way, so where exactly am I. The U.S has threatened extradition for the JESUS more then one time, and I always thought they were bluffing. Are we in Cuba...if I'm in Cuba...
The man chuckles again which makes Lively quiver with creepiness.
Happy Guy: It's funny that you mention JESUS, this is his Kingdom. Your have made it to....
Lively looks puzzle for a moment. He never knew he had a Kingdom.
Lively: MY Kingdom....nice! I knew there were great things in store for me as a young boy. I knew that I would be something special, and now I have arrived. My Kingdom....the last Kingdom I tried to acquire didn't go over so well. This one though, made just for me....the JESUS.
The man with the retard chuckle then turns a sour face toward the comments of Michael Lively. He then looks down noticing two scars on each of the wrestlers hands. His eyes bulge in shock as he stares at the war wounds Lively earned prior to defending his Overdrive title against a female competitor that nailed him to a cross. In shock the chuckler mutters out in panic.
Happy Guy: The Stigmata...there must be a mistake, how did you get in here...there is a mistake....
The man then runs off toward the entry gates leaving Lively even more confused then he was prior to this crazy encounter.
Lively: Stigmata? Fuck I hope thats not lethal...or contagious...maybe it's worse then the Swine Flu...oh it makes no difference to the JESUS.
Just then Lively feels a tug at his robe, and his attention is diverted downward toward the little girl attempting to get his attention. A young brunette girl with a sweet smile looks up at Michael with a heart melting warmth.
Lively: Hi little girl, just for future reference you do not touch the King of the Kingdom.
The little girl covers her mouth and begins snickering at Lively.
Lively: What in the blue hell is so funny around here, everybody has the serious case of the giggle shits.
Girl: HUHHHHH...you said hell.
Lively: Yeah, and I followed it up with shits, I might throw a bitch, or mother fucker in if that makes it sound even cooler hunh.
Girl: Bad man.
Lively: How dare you say the JESUS is a bad man.
The girl then raises an eyebrow at the Lively.
Girl: You're not JESUS, the King of Kings...
Lively: Blaspheomy...you are working on the JESUS's first law as King, no child may deny the JESUS as King. That will be punished with DEATH!!!!
Again the little girl begins snickering and giggling. This is clearly driving Lively nuts, and he clears his throat trying to get the girl to stop her laughter and gives her a look.
Girl: You silly man, you can't punish people to death, we are already dead.
This takes Lively by surprise and he stumbles backward in shock from the little girls comment. His breath become short as he almost goes into a full panic attack. The little girl comes over to comfort the Michael as he slumps to a sitting position on the ground.
Girl: Don't be sad, this is a wonderful place. Way better then the real world.
Lively: I loved the real world, I loved everything about it. Pissing people off, stirring up emotions, kicking ass.
Lively then looks over to the girls warm eyes. He then realizes he is being rude and asks her for her name.
Girl: Caylee Anthony
Lively then looks at her strange, and then it sets in that this is the girl from the news whose mother killed her and stuffed her in a trunk.
Lively: Wow, Caylee...uhhh...here I am bitching and complaining, all along you had it pretty rough. I'm sorry.
Caylee: Don't worry about it mister. My mother was a bitch and she will fry for stuffing my dead body in the trunk of car. She was the worst mother a little girl could have, now I am in a better place.
Lively stares upon the little girl feeling bad for a moment then realizes she is extremely happy with her current situation. He then takes this moment to talk shit cause thats what he does.
Lively: You are right your mother was horrible, you know they caught her for check fraud, they had pictures of her partying, and rumors that she would pretty much except any guy over for a solid mouth pumping, all while you were chilling in the trunk....thats bad
The girl gives Lively the look of "Really as if I didn't know already" and the JESUS backs off a bit knowing full well once again he may have overstepped his boundaries. He tries to change the subject in an attempt to save face.
Lively: Well, lets say the JESUS makes you his number one assistant?
The girl sick of Lively not understanding her.
Caylee: Listen mister, your are not JESUS. You are Michael Lively, your are dead, and the real JESUS lives up there in the mansion.
She then points to a hill top that has a huge gate that reads "Neverland". The words spoken by this little girl pierce the heart of Michael Lively and truly hurt the man. He stands up looks at the girl almost as if she had made a difference finally on him. Her words cut him deep, but slapped him very hard with reality.
Lively: You know something Caylee in all my years on Earth I have thought of myself as the best, one of the greatest to walk the planet. You know it's really humbling to here a little girl like yourself lay into me like that informing me that in fact I am Michael Lively, and that the real JESUS is up there in that mansion. I just want to say....FUCK YOU LITTLE GIRL. I am the JESUS, there are no others, and it is crystal clear that Duncan McCloud was so right when he proclaimed THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE. Well I am that one, and it's about time this sandal wearing fruit cake gets a taste of the Quickening.
Lively then begins walking toward the mansion as the girl looks shocked that Lively just told her fuck you. Michael turns around walking backward to shout one last thing toward Caylee Anthony.
Lively: Hey Caylee...your mother was bitch, and your a chip off the old block you little slut bag.
Lively then turns back and breaks into a sprint toward Neverland to meet the fraud he feels is running his Kingdom. He drop kicks the gate open and begins heading up the driveway. Suddenly a band of chimpanzees with bedazzled gloves on their right hands begin jumping out of the bushes. Lively slides to a stop as his robe flutters back and forth. He pauses for a moment as these crazy Chimps circle him. They begin hooting and hollering making the classic chimp sounds as they close in on Lively. Thinking fast the JESUS begins whistling the tune of Beat It, and the chimps then fall into line super fast. They stand up erect up grabbing their crotches as they all yell. Lively picks up the whistling and in unison they all turn sideways and begin moonwalking down the drive way. Lively makes a break for it as the chimps are hypnotized with their choreographed rendition of Beat It. Lively slides under a Giraffe, cart wheels past a Carousel, and then scampers up the steps leading to the door. He slides his back up against it and peers in the window. With a solid stiff kick the JESUS boots the door open. He storm troopers his way up the stairs. Music can be heard from a room in the back hallway. Just then a voice that rings out so familiar booms down the hallway and the body belonging to that voice then steps out. Lively looks shocked as he glares down the hall.
Lively: Billy Mays the Oxyclean Guy!!!
Mays looks at Lively and then realizes he is an intruder to the Neverland Heavenly Mansion. He yells out to inform people that it's time to handle business. Lively turns sideways as he hears the pounding footsteps of someone running up the stairs.
Lively: Farrah Fawcett??? Damn Girl Cancer fucked you up...you would think up here they could at least gave you some hair.
As Lively stares shocked at the sight of Farrah he is kicked in the stomach by Patrick Swayze.
Lively: Shit...Dirty Dancing just showed me why they picked him for Road House.
The former blonde bomb shell then whips a kick like a Charlie's Angel into Lively's face. He blocks it with his forearms and then grasps her leg whipping her into the stair case railing, then back around toward Swayze. The two tumble down the stairs screaming in a tangled mess. Lively then turns to see Billy Mays swinging two buckets of Oxyclean in either hand like weapons ready to clean the JESUS's clock.
Mays: I'm Billy Mays and the Power of Oxy is about to lay your ass out their pal.
Lively smirks and sends the man right back on on the wall with a lightning fast Super kick right in his cocaine snorting nose. Both tubs of Oxy fall from his hands as he clutches at the bloody mess that used to be his sniffer. Lively charges forward and nails a flying knee that sends the man to la-la land.
Lively: Everyone knows Billy the only Oxy you are partying with was Oxycontin
The JESUS then dusts off his robe, and begins following the music to fulfill his quest of finding the impostor JESUS. Lively heads toward a door leading into a master bedroom. He smashes the door open and attempts to look like as much of a solid bad ass that you can when wearing a robe. Suddenly a group of men seated at a poker table stand up. All eyes are on Lively, who just stares the men down. Michael takes a deep breath as if building his confidence and then addresses them.
Lively: Alright...I'm here to call out this impostor claiming to be JESUS. There is only one JESUS and you are looking....Holy Shadow Shits....Curt Henning, and Rick Rude? What the hell are you guys doing here?
Rick Rude steps forward looking Lively up and down.
Rick Rude: Listen you Fort Lauderdale slob, you stumbled into the wrong room, running your mouth off to the wrong group of men. Not to mention you wear a robe like a royal fruit toucher.
Just then Ted Kennedy steps out from the group.
Kennedy: ERA...Mister you are ERA..sticking you nose in the ERA wrong place pal. ERA, we have no choice but to ERA...
Curt Henning slaps Kennedy on the back of the head.
Henning: You know I can't stand you Ted, now sit down and shut up. (looking at Lively) Listen Kid I think maybe you should think about backing on out of the room, then mosey your ass on out into the garden and picks some weeds. This is no place for strangers, and half cocked wannabe bad asses.
The group all then look at Lively who shows no sign of backing down. Lively feeling very insulted by the washed up legends readies himself for action. Just then Rick Rude looks over toward the DJ working the turntables.
Rick Rude: DJ AM, give me a rowdy beat so we can beat this bitch down.
Lively looks over toward DJ AM in shock.
Lively: What a bunch of pill popping, drug addicted losers. You bloated liver having sons of bitches bring that shit on.
The group then surrounds the man getting ready to lay into Lively. Just then the music switches to very heavenly harps. The group of men back up and part like the red sea and drop to one knee. Lively looks on at first puzzled, but then realizes the King of King, the JESUS of heaven must be making his way into the room for everyone to stop dead in their tracks. The man that is the cause of so much attention then appears as all look down not to stare him in the face. Lively gives the man a real stiff stare down then interrupts in shock when he recognizes who has just entered the room.
Lively: MICHAEL JACKSON???
Jackson then steps toward Lively. Wearing red bejeweled pants and sandals. He has a sequined suit jacket on, and old school sunglasses covering his beady eyes resting on the partial nose glued to his pale face. Jackson then addresses Michael Lively.
MJ: So I hear you think you are the JESUS. I hate to inform you that you are not our one and only JESUS.
Lively raises and eyebrow.
Lively: Well I guess, some people Paper, Rock, Scissors...thats not how I roll, we are going to have to Highlander for it. There can only be one. If you are him then lets do this shit son.
Michael Jackson holds his gloved hand up, then takes his sun glasses off with the other.
MJ: I am not him, he is him, and him is I, and thee will be the one, when I giveth to him.
Another strange look from Michael Lively
Lively: What the fuck does that mean, you sick fucks have the best drugs up here, and haven't hesitated stuffing that shit in your nostrils have you. Every one high high on bat shit in this bitch.
Rick Rude pipes up.
Rick Rude: He is saying that he sits at the right hand of our father, the JESUS is one with the father., you know what I'm not sure what he was saying. He's not the JESUS, neither are you...in fact here comes the JESUS.
Michael Jackson takes his place in the crowd bowing to one knee. Then the stir of so much emotion, the cause of so much drama walks out just as everyone pictured him. Long perfect hair. Skin complexion absolutely flawless. Robed with almost a glow about him. Everyone in the room hypnotized by his holiness except Michael Lively. The self proclaimed JESUS walks on over with a arrogant swagger about him, gives him a stared down right in his heavenly face.
Lively: So big man this is it, here we are. For some time now I have proclaimed to be the JESUS. All that time you have been up here running my Kingdom, using my name, and now it's time to pay up. So right here, right now in front of all these Earthly rejects you have by your side we will have it out to find out just who is the real JESUS.
Lively then gears up for action and is stopped dead in his tracks as the real JESUS responds.
JESUS: I see a man standing here before me. This man is egotistical, self confident, and obviously confused. I see a man that is guilty of what do you call it Rick?
Rick Rude: Gimmick infringement Jesus..thats what we call it when someone uses your idea or gimmick, he's a hack JESUS, and I want you to rip him two new assholes.
Lively looks quirky at Rick Rude wondering if everyone in heaven has two assholes. JESUS then responds getting Lively's attention drawn back toward him.
JESUS: Yes Gimmick Infringement...thats right Michael Lively thats what you are guilty of. Up here I am the Judge, Jury, and Executioner and at this moment you are charged with some serious crimes. I find you guilty, and am taxing you royalties that I will be taking right out of your ass.
Jesus then rolls up his sleeves. Michael Lively smirks knowing he has a challenge before him. The two step forward each swinging a right hand toward the others jaw. Just then the theme from Rocky begins playing as the picture stops, frozen on that image......
Michael Lively then pushes the alarm clock to snooze as the Rocky theme song then comes to a rest. The man plops his head back down on the pillow for a brief second. Suddenly he is startled and leaps to the upright position pulling the sheets over his chest. The sight of Chubs, his personal cameraman, standing over his bed pointing the lens right at him is one that will bring you very unpeacefully out of sleep.
Lively sits back resting against the headboard.
Lively: Listen kid, I hired you to be my cameraman to cut promos and different video footage of the JESUS. Creeping up on me while I'm sleeping is a bit much.
Chubs: Michael it's just that, well...
Lively: Well, uhh, ehhh, errr, seriously kid spit the balls out of your mouth and speak.
Chubs: I figured with the match now officially booked between you and BDC, we could get a jump start on cutting a promo.
Lively: CHUBS, it's six in the morning...I just had one hell of a dream, and now you are barging into my room asking me to cut a promo. These are Cindy Shannon type of actions Chubs.
Chubs: She would sneak into your room early in the morning?
Lively: I'm sure she dreams about doing just that, has nasty thoughts of slathering whip cream all over my ass, but no. Listen kid I'm in no mood to cut a promo against some half retired, one foot in the pool, one foot out of the pool, senseless jack off right now.
Chubs then sets the camera on a tripod set up next to him. The rather plump cameraman takes a seat on the foot of Lively's bed. Michael raises his eyebrow to this action as it breaks his comfort level a bit.
Chubs: So, if you don't want to cut a promo, tell me about this dream.
Lively sits there in silence still holding the covers over his chest.
Chubs: What, you seemed to be rattled by the dream. I figuring thats what is keeping you from spewing greatness into my camera lens. So what happened in this dream big fella? Did you loose a match, or get beat down real bad.
Lively rolls his eyes
Lively: Hell no I didn't loose. Listen, I got shot.
Chubs: Ooooh, thats the problem
Lively: Uhhh, no fat boy. Let me tell the story. I got shot, went to heaven. Apparently there is a guy up there claiming to be JESUS.
Chubs: Uhh, yeah the son of GOD.
Lively: Whoa bitch, where have you been, I am him, and he is ME, so therefore until I got up there we should have no other JESUS. The point is Chubs I went on a mission to find this impostor, kick his ass and take what is truly mine.
Chubs: The seat at the right hand of the father.
Lively: Fuck no Chubs, I didn't get shot, kick the shit out of Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, Mr. Perfect, Rick Rude and duke it out with Patrick Swayze while Chimps dance to Beat It to sit at the right hand of the father. I went there to ruin those bitches, take this fake JESUS, shove those ridiculous sandals right up his ass. When that is all said and done I was supposed to give this so called father a lesson, in young versus old. Sure he's wise, all knowing, and more experienced, but I'm quicker, more clever, and my skills are on a whole other level. I mean you can only dwell in the past so long. These old fucks do just that, live in the past, get high on what they used to be. Well this father would have learned just like BDC will learn that giving what you got gets you what you have. I constantly upping my game, I'm in the gym learning new moves, new counters, and creating things this fucker wishes he could do. Come Sunday night, he will learn first hand why the JESUS is the leader of the pack. Why I have the most victories in this company, why there isn't a man I can't beat, a title I can't snag. He will see why I classify him as an early morning shit.
Chubs looks rather confused by Lively's statement.
Lively: Did I lose you fat boy, this guy is just like one of those fresh early shits you have to take when you first get going in the morning. Stabs you in your side, causes you enough grief to take care of it first thing before brushing your teeth. The thing is though morning shits are all hype...they don't really pack a lasting punch. They bark big, but when the shit comes down the barrel it's all kibbles and bits.
Again the cameraman looks at Lively as if he were from a different planet.
Lively: God Dammit kid, he's not solid...he's a runny shit with a few clumps...passes right out the colon in a breeze. You wipe up the mess and continue on with your day as if it never happened. Me on the other hand, I'm a soild two flushing, anus stretching monster. I'll wrap three times around the bowl and hover above the water laughing at you when you try to flush. You don't take me lightly, you hire the rotor rooter man to come in with a hacksaw and chop me into to pieces. When I'm finally wrangled into your pipes I'll clog those bitches as well making him break out the snake. BDC is like diahrea...sloppy, annoying, but doesn't really bring much pain, and flushes away in an instant. So remember Chubs, Michael Lively is the King Shit, while BDC is just another turd. He will get his lesson though, first hand this Sunday, just like the fake JESUS and his father where about to, why I am the Hottest Shit Going!
Chubs: Were about to, I thought you said in your dream you...
Lively: Yeah well some fat slob freaked me out by hovering over my bed in the wee early morning. Now if you excuse me, JESUS and myself were about to come to blows...and if I have it correct, my foot is about to firmly knock his heavenly teeth right out of his mouth.
Lively then lays back down pulling the covers back over his head. Chubs stands up from the bed and begin packing up his camera equipment.
"CHUBS!!!!"
The big camera man turns around just in time to see Lively spring from the bed, and super kick him in the mush. The man goes stiff as a board and falls sideways to the floor. Lively then hops back in bed.
Lively: Keep it quiet, the JESUS is sleeping
"Don't move, don't be a hero, or you will be one dead hero!"
The JESUS then smirks with a devilish grin. If this man only knew he is the furthest thing from a hero. Hero's aren't selfish egomaniacs, and the JESUS is epitome of arrogant and self absorbed. The criminal sees the grin as a possible threat to his demand for corporation. Not wishing to spend any time in jail, or have his robbery attempt foiled, the man then pulls the trigger. Michael Lively hears the loudest sound ever as his little ears ring for a split second before his vision turns to pitch black darkness. Suddenly the man opens his eyes instantly clutching his head in reaction. He sits up looking around and sees no blood. Puzzled the man then lets go of his head noticing that there is no pain. He stands up as there is this eerie silence surrounding him. He looks up to the sky which seems to be overcast with clouds, then around at the fog surrounding him not sure of where he is. He looks down not happy about the white robed clothes he has on, and even more confused on how he came to wear these things in the first place. Just in front of him a bright glow can be seen and he screams out for help. No one responds and the JESUS begins a trek toward the light. After a few moments of walking the fog breaks around him to reveal a line built up in front of a pair of gates. The man begins to think to himself trying to put pieces together and figure out where he is. He remembers being shot, and then waking up here.
Lively: This is a fancy hospital, but they got to do something with these lines....outrageous!
Lively then shuffles forward as the line dwindles down. Before he knows it, his turn arrives at the front of the line. A man wearing glasses sits at a podium with a fancy scroll on the front of it. His hands rest on a book as he then stares outward asking for a name. Lively chuckles a bit, then responds.
Lively: I am the JESUS Michael Lively, I can't believe you haven't heard of me. I have the most win racked up in APW, held almost every title that company has to offer. I am a world wide sensation my friend, you need to get out more.
The man shakes his head as his fingers begin scanning the pages of the book. Just then he stops as if he found the what he was searching for.
Gate Keeper: Hey-Zeus Miguel Lively, arrival 876,989,237,277,103 has just been granted admission through the gates.
The man then motions for Lively to walk forward through the gates. He looks very puzzled because he has never been called Hey-Zeus Miguel before. He then walks in to what he thinks is a very unconventional hospital recovery center. His eyes begin scanning from left to right not feeling really comfortable with his current situation. He clearly remembers being shot, yet he feels no pain has no recollection of surgery and can't find any evidence of of stitching or mending. Lively is then startled by a man that has a sickening sense of happiness over him. The man smiling from ear to ear gives a silly chuckle and then addresses Michael Lively.
Happy Guy: How's it going, isn't this place great?
Lively looks at this man like a freaking nut case.
Lively: Damn fool, you must have had some serious trauma, there is no way a hospital recovery center is great.
Another chuckle from the jovial man is let loose.
Happy Guy: This is no hospital recovery center. You silly young man, you didn't recognize those pearly white gates, and Saint Peter who let you in, this is eternal salvation the kingdom....
Lively wastes no time to cut the man off in mid sentence.
Lively: Kingdom...the last time I heard the words Kingdom it spelled nothing but trouble for me. I had to put a serious beat down on the Burger King. This doesn't look like I can get things my way, so where exactly am I. The U.S has threatened extradition for the JESUS more then one time, and I always thought they were bluffing. Are we in Cuba...if I'm in Cuba...
The man chuckles again which makes Lively quiver with creepiness.
Happy Guy: It's funny that you mention JESUS, this is his Kingdom. Your have made it to....
Lively looks puzzle for a moment. He never knew he had a Kingdom.
Lively: MY Kingdom....nice! I knew there were great things in store for me as a young boy. I knew that I would be something special, and now I have arrived. My Kingdom....the last Kingdom I tried to acquire didn't go over so well. This one though, made just for me....the JESUS.
The man with the retard chuckle then turns a sour face toward the comments of Michael Lively. He then looks down noticing two scars on each of the wrestlers hands. His eyes bulge in shock as he stares at the war wounds Lively earned prior to defending his Overdrive title against a female competitor that nailed him to a cross. In shock the chuckler mutters out in panic.
Happy Guy: The Stigmata...there must be a mistake, how did you get in here...there is a mistake....
The man then runs off toward the entry gates leaving Lively even more confused then he was prior to this crazy encounter.
Lively: Stigmata? Fuck I hope thats not lethal...or contagious...maybe it's worse then the Swine Flu...oh it makes no difference to the JESUS.
Just then Lively feels a tug at his robe, and his attention is diverted downward toward the little girl attempting to get his attention. A young brunette girl with a sweet smile looks up at Michael with a heart melting warmth.
Lively: Hi little girl, just for future reference you do not touch the King of the Kingdom.
The little girl covers her mouth and begins snickering at Lively.
Lively: What in the blue hell is so funny around here, everybody has the serious case of the giggle shits.
Girl: HUHHHHH...you said hell.
Lively: Yeah, and I followed it up with shits, I might throw a bitch, or mother fucker in if that makes it sound even cooler hunh.
Girl: Bad man.
Lively: How dare you say the JESUS is a bad man.
The girl then raises an eyebrow at the Lively.
Girl: You're not JESUS, the King of Kings...
Lively: Blaspheomy...you are working on the JESUS's first law as King, no child may deny the JESUS as King. That will be punished with DEATH!!!!
Again the little girl begins snickering and giggling. This is clearly driving Lively nuts, and he clears his throat trying to get the girl to stop her laughter and gives her a look.
Girl: You silly man, you can't punish people to death, we are already dead.
This takes Lively by surprise and he stumbles backward in shock from the little girls comment. His breath become short as he almost goes into a full panic attack. The little girl comes over to comfort the Michael as he slumps to a sitting position on the ground.
Girl: Don't be sad, this is a wonderful place. Way better then the real world.
Lively: I loved the real world, I loved everything about it. Pissing people off, stirring up emotions, kicking ass.
Lively then looks over to the girls warm eyes. He then realizes he is being rude and asks her for her name.
Girl: Caylee Anthony
Lively then looks at her strange, and then it sets in that this is the girl from the news whose mother killed her and stuffed her in a trunk.
Lively: Wow, Caylee...uhhh...here I am bitching and complaining, all along you had it pretty rough. I'm sorry.
Caylee: Don't worry about it mister. My mother was a bitch and she will fry for stuffing my dead body in the trunk of car. She was the worst mother a little girl could have, now I am in a better place.
Lively stares upon the little girl feeling bad for a moment then realizes she is extremely happy with her current situation. He then takes this moment to talk shit cause thats what he does.
Lively: You are right your mother was horrible, you know they caught her for check fraud, they had pictures of her partying, and rumors that she would pretty much except any guy over for a solid mouth pumping, all while you were chilling in the trunk....thats bad
The girl gives Lively the look of "Really as if I didn't know already" and the JESUS backs off a bit knowing full well once again he may have overstepped his boundaries. He tries to change the subject in an attempt to save face.
Lively: Well, lets say the JESUS makes you his number one assistant?
The girl sick of Lively not understanding her.
Caylee: Listen mister, your are not JESUS. You are Michael Lively, your are dead, and the real JESUS lives up there in the mansion.
She then points to a hill top that has a huge gate that reads "Neverland". The words spoken by this little girl pierce the heart of Michael Lively and truly hurt the man. He stands up looks at the girl almost as if she had made a difference finally on him. Her words cut him deep, but slapped him very hard with reality.
Lively: You know something Caylee in all my years on Earth I have thought of myself as the best, one of the greatest to walk the planet. You know it's really humbling to here a little girl like yourself lay into me like that informing me that in fact I am Michael Lively, and that the real JESUS is up there in that mansion. I just want to say....FUCK YOU LITTLE GIRL. I am the JESUS, there are no others, and it is crystal clear that Duncan McCloud was so right when he proclaimed THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE. Well I am that one, and it's about time this sandal wearing fruit cake gets a taste of the Quickening.
Lively then begins walking toward the mansion as the girl looks shocked that Lively just told her fuck you. Michael turns around walking backward to shout one last thing toward Caylee Anthony.
Lively: Hey Caylee...your mother was bitch, and your a chip off the old block you little slut bag.
Lively then turns back and breaks into a sprint toward Neverland to meet the fraud he feels is running his Kingdom. He drop kicks the gate open and begins heading up the driveway. Suddenly a band of chimpanzees with bedazzled gloves on their right hands begin jumping out of the bushes. Lively slides to a stop as his robe flutters back and forth. He pauses for a moment as these crazy Chimps circle him. They begin hooting and hollering making the classic chimp sounds as they close in on Lively. Thinking fast the JESUS begins whistling the tune of Beat It, and the chimps then fall into line super fast. They stand up erect up grabbing their crotches as they all yell. Lively picks up the whistling and in unison they all turn sideways and begin moonwalking down the drive way. Lively makes a break for it as the chimps are hypnotized with their choreographed rendition of Beat It. Lively slides under a Giraffe, cart wheels past a Carousel, and then scampers up the steps leading to the door. He slides his back up against it and peers in the window. With a solid stiff kick the JESUS boots the door open. He storm troopers his way up the stairs. Music can be heard from a room in the back hallway. Just then a voice that rings out so familiar booms down the hallway and the body belonging to that voice then steps out. Lively looks shocked as he glares down the hall.
Lively: Billy Mays the Oxyclean Guy!!!
Mays looks at Lively and then realizes he is an intruder to the Neverland Heavenly Mansion. He yells out to inform people that it's time to handle business. Lively turns sideways as he hears the pounding footsteps of someone running up the stairs.
Lively: Farrah Fawcett??? Damn Girl Cancer fucked you up...you would think up here they could at least gave you some hair.
As Lively stares shocked at the sight of Farrah he is kicked in the stomach by Patrick Swayze.
Lively: Shit...Dirty Dancing just showed me why they picked him for Road House.
The former blonde bomb shell then whips a kick like a Charlie's Angel into Lively's face. He blocks it with his forearms and then grasps her leg whipping her into the stair case railing, then back around toward Swayze. The two tumble down the stairs screaming in a tangled mess. Lively then turns to see Billy Mays swinging two buckets of Oxyclean in either hand like weapons ready to clean the JESUS's clock.
Mays: I'm Billy Mays and the Power of Oxy is about to lay your ass out their pal.
Lively smirks and sends the man right back on on the wall with a lightning fast Super kick right in his cocaine snorting nose. Both tubs of Oxy fall from his hands as he clutches at the bloody mess that used to be his sniffer. Lively charges forward and nails a flying knee that sends the man to la-la land.
Lively: Everyone knows Billy the only Oxy you are partying with was Oxycontin
The JESUS then dusts off his robe, and begins following the music to fulfill his quest of finding the impostor JESUS. Lively heads toward a door leading into a master bedroom. He smashes the door open and attempts to look like as much of a solid bad ass that you can when wearing a robe. Suddenly a group of men seated at a poker table stand up. All eyes are on Lively, who just stares the men down. Michael takes a deep breath as if building his confidence and then addresses them.
Lively: Alright...I'm here to call out this impostor claiming to be JESUS. There is only one JESUS and you are looking....Holy Shadow Shits....Curt Henning, and Rick Rude? What the hell are you guys doing here?
Rick Rude steps forward looking Lively up and down.
Rick Rude: Listen you Fort Lauderdale slob, you stumbled into the wrong room, running your mouth off to the wrong group of men. Not to mention you wear a robe like a royal fruit toucher.
Just then Ted Kennedy steps out from the group.
Kennedy: ERA...Mister you are ERA..sticking you nose in the ERA wrong place pal. ERA, we have no choice but to ERA...
Curt Henning slaps Kennedy on the back of the head.
Henning: You know I can't stand you Ted, now sit down and shut up. (looking at Lively) Listen Kid I think maybe you should think about backing on out of the room, then mosey your ass on out into the garden and picks some weeds. This is no place for strangers, and half cocked wannabe bad asses.
The group all then look at Lively who shows no sign of backing down. Lively feeling very insulted by the washed up legends readies himself for action. Just then Rick Rude looks over toward the DJ working the turntables.
Rick Rude: DJ AM, give me a rowdy beat so we can beat this bitch down.
Lively looks over toward DJ AM in shock.
Lively: What a bunch of pill popping, drug addicted losers. You bloated liver having sons of bitches bring that shit on.
The group then surrounds the man getting ready to lay into Lively. Just then the music switches to very heavenly harps. The group of men back up and part like the red sea and drop to one knee. Lively looks on at first puzzled, but then realizes the King of King, the JESUS of heaven must be making his way into the room for everyone to stop dead in their tracks. The man that is the cause of so much attention then appears as all look down not to stare him in the face. Lively gives the man a real stiff stare down then interrupts in shock when he recognizes who has just entered the room.
Lively: MICHAEL JACKSON???
Jackson then steps toward Lively. Wearing red bejeweled pants and sandals. He has a sequined suit jacket on, and old school sunglasses covering his beady eyes resting on the partial nose glued to his pale face. Jackson then addresses Michael Lively.
MJ: So I hear you think you are the JESUS. I hate to inform you that you are not our one and only JESUS.
Lively raises and eyebrow.
Lively: Well I guess, some people Paper, Rock, Scissors...thats not how I roll, we are going to have to Highlander for it. There can only be one. If you are him then lets do this shit son.
Michael Jackson holds his gloved hand up, then takes his sun glasses off with the other.
MJ: I am not him, he is him, and him is I, and thee will be the one, when I giveth to him.
Another strange look from Michael Lively
Lively: What the fuck does that mean, you sick fucks have the best drugs up here, and haven't hesitated stuffing that shit in your nostrils have you. Every one high high on bat shit in this bitch.
Rick Rude pipes up.
Rick Rude: He is saying that he sits at the right hand of our father, the JESUS is one with the father., you know what I'm not sure what he was saying. He's not the JESUS, neither are you...in fact here comes the JESUS.
Michael Jackson takes his place in the crowd bowing to one knee. Then the stir of so much emotion, the cause of so much drama walks out just as everyone pictured him. Long perfect hair. Skin complexion absolutely flawless. Robed with almost a glow about him. Everyone in the room hypnotized by his holiness except Michael Lively. The self proclaimed JESUS walks on over with a arrogant swagger about him, gives him a stared down right in his heavenly face.
Lively: So big man this is it, here we are. For some time now I have proclaimed to be the JESUS. All that time you have been up here running my Kingdom, using my name, and now it's time to pay up. So right here, right now in front of all these Earthly rejects you have by your side we will have it out to find out just who is the real JESUS.
Lively then gears up for action and is stopped dead in his tracks as the real JESUS responds.
JESUS: I see a man standing here before me. This man is egotistical, self confident, and obviously confused. I see a man that is guilty of what do you call it Rick?
Rick Rude: Gimmick infringement Jesus..thats what we call it when someone uses your idea or gimmick, he's a hack JESUS, and I want you to rip him two new assholes.
Lively looks quirky at Rick Rude wondering if everyone in heaven has two assholes. JESUS then responds getting Lively's attention drawn back toward him.
JESUS: Yes Gimmick Infringement...thats right Michael Lively thats what you are guilty of. Up here I am the Judge, Jury, and Executioner and at this moment you are charged with some serious crimes. I find you guilty, and am taxing you royalties that I will be taking right out of your ass.
Jesus then rolls up his sleeves. Michael Lively smirks knowing he has a challenge before him. The two step forward each swinging a right hand toward the others jaw. Just then the theme from Rocky begins playing as the picture stops, frozen on that image......
Michael Lively then pushes the alarm clock to snooze as the Rocky theme song then comes to a rest. The man plops his head back down on the pillow for a brief second. Suddenly he is startled and leaps to the upright position pulling the sheets over his chest. The sight of Chubs, his personal cameraman, standing over his bed pointing the lens right at him is one that will bring you very unpeacefully out of sleep.
Lively sits back resting against the headboard.
Lively: Listen kid, I hired you to be my cameraman to cut promos and different video footage of the JESUS. Creeping up on me while I'm sleeping is a bit much.
Chubs: Michael it's just that, well...
Lively: Well, uhh, ehhh, errr, seriously kid spit the balls out of your mouth and speak.
Chubs: I figured with the match now officially booked between you and BDC, we could get a jump start on cutting a promo.
Lively: CHUBS, it's six in the morning...I just had one hell of a dream, and now you are barging into my room asking me to cut a promo. These are Cindy Shannon type of actions Chubs.
Chubs: She would sneak into your room early in the morning?
Lively: I'm sure she dreams about doing just that, has nasty thoughts of slathering whip cream all over my ass, but no. Listen kid I'm in no mood to cut a promo against some half retired, one foot in the pool, one foot out of the pool, senseless jack off right now.
Chubs then sets the camera on a tripod set up next to him. The rather plump cameraman takes a seat on the foot of Lively's bed. Michael raises his eyebrow to this action as it breaks his comfort level a bit.
Chubs: So, if you don't want to cut a promo, tell me about this dream.
Lively sits there in silence still holding the covers over his chest.
Chubs: What, you seemed to be rattled by the dream. I figuring thats what is keeping you from spewing greatness into my camera lens. So what happened in this dream big fella? Did you loose a match, or get beat down real bad.
Lively rolls his eyes
Lively: Hell no I didn't loose. Listen, I got shot.
Chubs: Ooooh, thats the problem
Lively: Uhhh, no fat boy. Let me tell the story. I got shot, went to heaven. Apparently there is a guy up there claiming to be JESUS.
Chubs: Uhh, yeah the son of GOD.
Lively: Whoa bitch, where have you been, I am him, and he is ME, so therefore until I got up there we should have no other JESUS. The point is Chubs I went on a mission to find this impostor, kick his ass and take what is truly mine.
Chubs: The seat at the right hand of the father.
Lively: Fuck no Chubs, I didn't get shot, kick the shit out of Michael Jackson, Billy Mays, Mr. Perfect, Rick Rude and duke it out with Patrick Swayze while Chimps dance to Beat It to sit at the right hand of the father. I went there to ruin those bitches, take this fake JESUS, shove those ridiculous sandals right up his ass. When that is all said and done I was supposed to give this so called father a lesson, in young versus old. Sure he's wise, all knowing, and more experienced, but I'm quicker, more clever, and my skills are on a whole other level. I mean you can only dwell in the past so long. These old fucks do just that, live in the past, get high on what they used to be. Well this father would have learned just like BDC will learn that giving what you got gets you what you have. I constantly upping my game, I'm in the gym learning new moves, new counters, and creating things this fucker wishes he could do. Come Sunday night, he will learn first hand why the JESUS is the leader of the pack. Why I have the most victories in this company, why there isn't a man I can't beat, a title I can't snag. He will see why I classify him as an early morning shit.
Chubs looks rather confused by Lively's statement.
Lively: Did I lose you fat boy, this guy is just like one of those fresh early shits you have to take when you first get going in the morning. Stabs you in your side, causes you enough grief to take care of it first thing before brushing your teeth. The thing is though morning shits are all hype...they don't really pack a lasting punch. They bark big, but when the shit comes down the barrel it's all kibbles and bits.
Again the cameraman looks at Lively as if he were from a different planet.
Lively: God Dammit kid, he's not solid...he's a runny shit with a few clumps...passes right out the colon in a breeze. You wipe up the mess and continue on with your day as if it never happened. Me on the other hand, I'm a soild two flushing, anus stretching monster. I'll wrap three times around the bowl and hover above the water laughing at you when you try to flush. You don't take me lightly, you hire the rotor rooter man to come in with a hacksaw and chop me into to pieces. When I'm finally wrangled into your pipes I'll clog those bitches as well making him break out the snake. BDC is like diahrea...sloppy, annoying, but doesn't really bring much pain, and flushes away in an instant. So remember Chubs, Michael Lively is the King Shit, while BDC is just another turd. He will get his lesson though, first hand this Sunday, just like the fake JESUS and his father where about to, why I am the Hottest Shit Going!
Chubs: Were about to, I thought you said in your dream you...
Lively: Yeah well some fat slob freaked me out by hovering over my bed in the wee early morning. Now if you excuse me, JESUS and myself were about to come to blows...and if I have it correct, my foot is about to firmly knock his heavenly teeth right out of his mouth.
Lively then lays back down pulling the covers back over his head. Chubs stands up from the bed and begin packing up his camera equipment.
"CHUBS!!!!"
The big camera man turns around just in time to see Lively spring from the bed, and super kick him in the mush. The man goes stiff as a board and falls sideways to the floor. Lively then hops back in bed.
Lively: Keep it quiet, the JESUS is sleeping
