Post by biggs on Dec 17, 2009 20:18:47 GMT -4
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Biggs arrives backstage with his new APW Overdrive Championship in his possession, with a huge grin on his face, and an overall look of exhaustion. He's immediately greeted by Chris Cyrus and The Beast, who are standing in the gorilla position, applauding their friend. Cyrus comes up and pats Biggs on the back.
Chris: And the Axis is all golden once again! Way to go out there, you definitively ended your feud with Shadow once and for all! There's no way he can even claim to be the better man than you now!
Biggs: You know, I have to give Shadow credit, though. He took me to the limit out there, and it really came down to him passing out to the Sharpshooter. I think it was more a function of exhaustion on his part than anything else that allowed me to win that match...
Chris: Yeah, you two went at each other hardcore, man. That was some match!
All of a sudden, The Axis hears a delighted shriek as Ellie runs up and gives Biggs a huge hug! Biggs cracks a smile as she embraces him for an almost awkward amount of time, before letting go and jumping up and down excitedly!
Ellie: You did it! You did it! I knew that you would beat that big doofus!
Biggs: I'll be honest, there were a few times where I thought Shadow might pull it out and get the win, but then I thought about the fact that you were in the crowd, and I just couldn't let you down! This is just as much your's as it is mine, Ellie...
Cyrus and The Beast roll their eyes at the mushiness.
Ellie: Oh, that's so sweet! But actually, it's really all yours. You're the one who did all the hard work in the ring, who managed to win the match!
Biggs: Yeah, you're right! I am AWESOME!
Ellie: Wow, you're real modest...
Cyrus: He doesn't have to be! After all, we are the Axis of Awesome!
Biggs and Cyrus give each other a high five as Ellie giggles.
Cyrus: Well what are we waiting for? We got to go out and celebrate!
Ellie: Darn right!
Biggs: Can I shower first? I mean, I'm all for celebrating, but I don't want to offend the other people at the club.
Cyrus: Let's be honest, man, you'll be offending them with your horrible dance moves!
Ellie: Hey! They're not horrible, just unique!
Cyrus: They're horrible!
The Beast nods in agreement with Cyrus' sentiments, and Biggs shakes his head as Ellie gives Cyrus and The Beast a playful glare.
Biggs: Seriously, though, I'd rather only offend them with my dance moves, and not my smell, so give me five minutes, and then we can be on our way.
Cyrus: Okay, okay. Should we let Ellie in the locker room with you?
Biggs blushes big time, as does Ellie. Cyrus is laughing it up.
Ellie: We're not there with our relationship yet...
Cyrus slaps Biggs on the back.
Cyrus: Don't worry, I'll still have The Beast posted at the door to make sure.
Biggs quickly darts into the locker room as Ellie, Cyrus, and The Beast wait outside, making small talk as the new champ freshens up. About five minutes later, Biggs emerges from the locker room in a pair of nice navy blue slacks and a silk blue button-up shirt.
Biggs: I hope they weren't too vulgar while I was in there.
Ellie: No, they just kept telling me about how terrible of a dancer you are. I still disagree with them though.
Chris: To each their own!
Ellie and The Axis make their way to the parking garage, and they all pile into the monstrously large red rental SUV. (It was The Beast's choice.) The Beast takes the wheel and Chris Cyrus gets shotgun as Biggs opens the back door for Ellie, and then goes around the vehicle himself to get in.
Chris: Because it's your night, bud, we're playing your music tonight!
Cyrus pops a CD into the CD player, and Weird Al Yankovic blares from the speakers. Ellie tries to hold her laughter in, but can't help but laugh out loud at the music selection.
Ellie: You like Weird Al? You're such a dork!
Biggs: I don't listen to him for the music, I listen to him because he makes me laugh. The man's a lyrical genius!
Cyrus: Don't worry, I think he's a dork too.
Biggs: Hey, the dork has feelings! Beast, you got my back, I'm not a dork am I?
The Beast keeps staring ahead. Biggs can't see his eyes, but they widen, as if to imply that he does indeed think that Biggs is a dork for liking Weird Al.
Biggs: I'll take your silence as an implicit agreement! We're split 50-50!
Ellie: But I kind of like dorks. If you aren't a dork, well, then...
Biggs: Alright! Alright! I'm a dork! What of it!?
The party continues in the car as they head to the club. They eventually arrive at a trendy night spot called “8th Heaven,” and once The Beast finds parking, they all spill out of the SUV. Of course, Biggs does the gentlemanly thing of opening Ellie's door for her, and offering his hand to help her out of the large vehicle. Biggs and Cyrus have their respective titles slung over their shoulders, as The Beast looks all intimidating to prevent anybody from messing with them and their belts. Ellie snuggles up close to Biggs as they walk along. As The Axis and Ellie approach the door, there's a long line, with a fuzzy rope and some beefy looking bouncers. When they see Biggs and Cyrus' belts, they let them in immediately, no questions asked. Cyrus and Biggs have smug expressions on their face and say at the exact same time...
Biggs and Cyrus: It's good to be champ!
Cyrus: Jinx! You owe me a coke! You can't talk until you get me a coke!
Biggs grits his teeth and furrows his brows in frustration, but accepts the fact that he can't talk for the moment. They walk into the building, which is dimly lit, save for all the colored florescent lights and laser lights flashing out on the dance floor. It would be overwhelming if Biggs wasn't used to such extravagance in his entrance. The walls are a shiny black, and the bar floor is black and white checkered. The dance floor is a rich brown wood, and the DJ is perched high above everyone else, looking down at the people enjoying their night. Still, the sights and sounds in the bar are such an assault on the senses, as loud dance music blares. The group immediately heads over to the bar, where Ellie gets the attention of the bartender.
Ellie: My friend here would like to order a Coke. He's been jinxed, and can't talk till he buys that guy a Coke.
Bartender: I'm sorry, miss, but we only have Pepsi products.
Cyrus: That's too bad. He owes me a Coke, not a Pepsi.
Ellie's jaw drops, and Biggs gets a flabbergasted look across his face, as Cyrus and The Beast begin to laugh hysterically. Ellie purses her lips and scrunches her nose, glaring at Cyrus.
Ellie: That's not fair! You should let him get you a Pepsi! Or how about a beer?
Cyrus: I don't know. I mean, I did kind of have my heart set on that Coke.
Ellie slugs Cyrus on the shoulder as hard as she can, which causes Cyrus and The Beast to burst out into laughter even more. Cyrus rubs his shoulder a bit as he continues to laugh while talking.
Cyrus: Okay, okay! I'll take a beer!
The bartender hands Cyrus a beer, and Biggs hands the bartender a crisp $20 bill.
Biggs: Thanks, keep the change! (Turns back to Cyrus) That was a jerk move, my friend!
Cyrus: Hey, don't call me a jerk! I bended the rules of jinx for you, man! We're not here to fight, we're here to party!
Biggs: Indeed. But before we get too wild, I wanted to record something for our website. Beast?
The Beast pulls a camcorder from his coat pocket, and flicks it on.
Biggs: Hey Ellie, do you want to be in my promo video?
Ellie squeals with delight!
Ellie: Yes! Yes! I'd love to!
Ellie quickly rushes right up to the left side of Biggs, as he has his APW Overdrive Championship slung over his right shoulder. The Beast counts Biggs down from three, and the red light comes on to record.
Biggs: For all of you losers and jerks out there who doubted that I would be able to beat Shadow to regain my APW Overdrive Championship, I guess the joke's on you! I knew from the moment that Shadow somehow managed to beat me last Sunday night at Rival Factions, that my precious title wouldn't be away from me for long. And I got to say, it's great to be champ once again! Shadow, I'll give it to you, you tried your best, it's just too bad that your best wasn't good enough for you to be more than a transitional champion! You're little three day reign will be a mere footnote in the history of this glorious championship, a championship which I will continuely bring honor and esteem to as long as I choose to hold it. And it is my choice how long I decide to hold this title, because if I proved anything tonight, Shadow, it's that this title is linked to me! You may have technically been champion for three days, but we all knew who the real APW Overdrive Champ was all along!
Biggs lets out his obnoxious laugh, as Ellie giggles.
Biggs: Oh how rude of me! I completely forgot to introduce the lovely, charasmatic, most gorgeous women around, the gal standing right next to me. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to my girlfriend, Ellie! Say hi to the internet, babe!
Ellie: Hi to the internet babe!
Biggs snickers.
Biggs: Isn't she great? I guess none of the guys in the back can make cheap gay jokes at mine and Cyrus' expense anymore, can they?
Cyrus pops into the frame for a second.
Cyrus: Damn straight!
Biggs: Still, I know that there are a lot of people out there who feel that my second title reign will be similar to Shadow's second title reign, that I'll just drop the belt on my first defense, as I go one-on-one with Pence Weatherlight at APW Christmas Chaos on Sunday, December 20 on pay per view. Some have said that I am jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire as I prepare to defend my newly won title against a former APW Heavyweight Champion. People are saying that I should be scared of Pence Weatherlight, that I shouldn't get used to the idea of being APW Overdrive Champion. After all, he did beat Level-One to claim the APW Heavyweight Championship. But before we get too far ahead of ourselves and declare Pence one of the greatest wrestling heroes of all time, let's take a moment to look at the facts. While pinning Level-One's shoulders to the mat for the one-two-three is impressive under any circumstances, the situation you found yourself in, Pence, was a Fatal Four-way match, a match that in all honesty is just as dependent on luck as it is skill, if not more so, and you missed a significant portion of the match, leaving it up to John Green and Jason Royce to deal most of the damage to Level-One. You let those three men beat the living hell out of each other, while you rested up in the back, eventually re-entering the match, swooping in like a vulture, gutting it out through a serious injury to inspire and delight the fans with a title victory over one of the greatest champions APW has ever seen. You built yourself up to be a sympathetic hero, one who was able to overcome all adversity, for the sake of the fans. You gave them a golden moment, Pence, one that they were all to eager to enjoy.
Too bad for them the moment didn't last, because in your first and only title defense, you lost the belt right back to Level-One, and proceeded to stick your nose in the title scene despite the fact that you had been thoroughly beaten by the better man. When you finally got your rematch at One Night In Hell, Level-One showed you exactly why he's the APW World Heavyweight Champion once more, utterly destroying you in Hell in a Cell. About the only thing of note you've done since then was pin yours truly, but even then, that was in a tag team match, and I was uncharictaristically destracted. Shadow did most of the work in that match anyways! If there's anything this little trip down recent history has shown me it's that you are incapable of winning the big one in one-on-one situations, Pence, and despite the fact that my APW Overdrive Championship may be the “second tier” title, doesn't mean I'm a second tier champion! This is a big match, Pence, make no mistakes about it. I know that on Overdrive, you tried to play it off as cool, saying that you didn't care whether Shadow or myself won the title match, that you didn't care if our match at the pay per view was for the Overdrive Championship. I don't buy that for one second, Pence. If you aren't in this business to win championships, then what are you in it for? You claim to be in it for the fans, but your behavior has shown otherwise. Lest we forget that in the month leading up to your match with Level-One at Test for the Best, you faked an injury, trying to pull a fast one on Level-One. Granted, Level-One did the same exact thing, but pulled it off much better, and managed to defeat you to reclaim his championship. You did what you did to try and throw Level-One off guard, but you also deceived the fans you claim to love! In lying to Level-One, you also lied to your fans, and not once have I heard you apologize to the mindless sheep who follow you! Also, since losing to Level-One in Hell in a Cell, Pence, you've decided to take on this new attitude of “Hey, I'm going to be dark and brutal!” Your unprovoked attacks on Joe Martinez, Draven, and myself are all proof of that. As I've already stated in the past, not only is Shadow doing the same exact thing, showing a lack of creativity and originality on either one of your parts, I see it for what it really is, an excuse for you to let your inhibitions go while still maintaining the “fan favorite” status that you want to uphold. Quite simply, Pence, you want to be able to get away with anything you want, while having the fans cheer for you regardless. You want to have your cake, and eat it too.
Ellie: Hypocritical jerk!
Biggs: What she said. If I tried to do what you do, attack people from behind, rely on guerrilla tactics, and basically tried to beat the snot out of somebody who even so much breathed in my general direction, I would be booed. But because you're the little golden boy, Pence Weatherlight, you get away with it, you get a heroes welcome, a heroes response, despite your cowardly ways. But what can I expect with you involved. I mean ever since you've gotten to APW, you've had everything handed to you. You got put in the Mayhem main even pretty much just as soon as you got here. You stayed at the top of the card despite the rather convincing defeat Level-One handed to you at Test for the Best, and you weaseled your way into the main event at Shockwave by getting to ref the title match between Level-One and Jesse Nuñez. Because in APW, what Pence wants, Pence gets. Quite frankly, I'm sick of it. And even though you said on Overdrive that you could care less whether I won back the Overdrive Championship from Shadow, whether our match at Christmas Chaos is for the belt, I don't buy it for one second. You want my Overdrive Championship, Pence, and I know that you think you're going to get it. I mean you're a former World Champion, so getting the Overdrive Championship should be a piece of cake, right? Wrong! Just because my belt is the quote-unquote “second tier” title, it doesn't mean that I'm a second tier champion! I've already beaten a former APW World Champion in Michael Lively, so if you think that you can just waltz down a division and easily snag my title, you're sorely mistaken! You saw what I am capable of in the two-out-of-three falls match with Shadow, and you know that I always have a game plan! You see, Pence, it's just about going out there and beating the guy up enough to pin him for three seconds before he can do the same to you, not at all. Your wrestling style, while high impact, is limited, unrefined. Mine is, well, simply better. I don't just utilize my physical talents, my speed and athleticism, but I also use my brain. That is why I had a lengthy first Overdrive Title run, and it's why my second reign will be even longer. Pence, you couldn't hold onto the APW Heavyweight Championship because you lacked the intelligence and foresight to account for all the little ways that Level-One could defeat you. He didn't just simply go out there and hit with move after move after move hoping that one of them would be enough to keep you down, no, he did what he had to to get in your head, mess up your thought patterns, and throw you out of sync. And you fell for it, Pence, not just once, but twice! And if you think that Level-One is smart, well, and I don't mean to brag here, I am even more cerebral than him. Pence, in our little feud, if you could even call it that, you've made your strategy pretty clear. Run up with brute force and pummel him. You did that when you ruined my Thanksgiving celebration. You have shown me that you are primarily a physical wrestler. And don't get me wrong, my style is full of physicality, but it's not all that I'm made of!
While I will have to admit that I have been predominantly focused on Shadow as of late, it's by design, Pence. As I've already established earlier, Pence, you're an attention whore, primarily from the crowd perhaps, but you do enjoy any attention that you get. By seemingly not heeding you that attention, Pence, I am denying you the very thing you get your meaning, your energy, from. You live off of attention, Pence, and even though you won't admit it, the fact that I've been supposedly blowing you off has got to be eating at you. Truth be told, Pence, I have been paying attention, I have been watching every match of yours, listening to every long-winded, boring speech of yours, looking for anything that I can exploit once we lock up in the middle of that ring. I won't let you pin me again, Pence, because unlike the other two times we've met, it'll be just you and me, no outside distractions, nobody for you to rely on. Sure, you have Modak or whatever his name is, but he really hasn't done anything that I've seen to help you. And if you were to stoop so low as to render his services during our match, don't forget about my good friend, The Beast!
Biggs motions for The Beast to turn the camera towards himself, which the big man does, staring with a menacing look into the camera. After a few seconds, The Beast flips the camera back over to Biggs and Ellie.
Ellie: He's big. Very big!
Biggs: Pence, if you haven't realized it by now, the point that I'm trying to make is that anything you can do, I can do better. You want to play the bad guy, but care too much what the fans think of you. I am the bad guy, and I could care less about the fans. I have my Macivelli to thank for that. For your style, you wrestle well, despite it's limitations. My in-ring style is practically limitless! You have some puny little body guard with a weird name, I have a genuine monster for mine! Pence, when it comes down to it, you do not have as good fo a chance at claiming my APW Overdrive Championship at Christmas Chaos as you think you do. In fact, you have none. The last thing I'm going to do is let a spoiled, sanctimonious, self-serving brat like you win my title. I owe it to myself, I owe it to the APW Overdrive title to not let you pollute it with your lukewarm ways, mixed signals, and punk tactics. When we meet in the ring on Sunday, December 20th in Los Angeles, it'll be just you and me in that ring, Pence, and we will see who the better man truly is.
Ellie: Spoiler alert, it's Biggs!
Biggs: Now, now, I was getting there. Still, Pence, I hope that you're ready to be humiliated, because that's just what I intend to do. Why?
Ellie: Because he's AWESOME!
Biggs: That, and I quite simply out of this world!
The Beast flicks the camera off and closes the viewing window. Ellie is giggling excitedly as Biggs and Cyrus give each other high fives.
Cyrus: That was boss, man! Pence can't really defend himself against those points you made about him being selfish! It's a wonder he even still has any fans at all.
Biggs: True that! And Ellie, you did great! You're a natural at this kind of stuff! If you wanted to, I'm sure that the other guys wouldn't mind if you traveled with us and became my new manager!
The Beast nods in agreement.
Chris: Yeah, we could totally use a chick in our group!
Biggs: She's not a chick, she's a very beautiful young woman, thank you very much. So what do you say, Ellie?
Ellie doesn't hesitate to answer one bit.
Ellie: I'd love to! I'd absolutely love to! This way, we won't have to be apart after APW's tour of California!
She jumps up and gives Biggs a big hug, squeezing the air out of him. Biggs gasps as she lets go, and The Beast and Cyrus laugh as Biggs coughs a bit. Ellie lets out her infectious giggle, and The Beast and Cyrus head to the bar to get some beers. Ellie drags Biggs out on to the dance floor, where they dance the night away. As the couple dances, Cyrus and The Beast sit at a table, drinking and laughing at Biggs' dancing skills, or lack thereof.
Biggs arrives backstage with his new APW Overdrive Championship in his possession, with a huge grin on his face, and an overall look of exhaustion. He's immediately greeted by Chris Cyrus and The Beast, who are standing in the gorilla position, applauding their friend. Cyrus comes up and pats Biggs on the back.
Chris: And the Axis is all golden once again! Way to go out there, you definitively ended your feud with Shadow once and for all! There's no way he can even claim to be the better man than you now!
Biggs: You know, I have to give Shadow credit, though. He took me to the limit out there, and it really came down to him passing out to the Sharpshooter. I think it was more a function of exhaustion on his part than anything else that allowed me to win that match...
Chris: Yeah, you two went at each other hardcore, man. That was some match!
All of a sudden, The Axis hears a delighted shriek as Ellie runs up and gives Biggs a huge hug! Biggs cracks a smile as she embraces him for an almost awkward amount of time, before letting go and jumping up and down excitedly!
Ellie: You did it! You did it! I knew that you would beat that big doofus!
Biggs: I'll be honest, there were a few times where I thought Shadow might pull it out and get the win, but then I thought about the fact that you were in the crowd, and I just couldn't let you down! This is just as much your's as it is mine, Ellie...
Cyrus and The Beast roll their eyes at the mushiness.
Ellie: Oh, that's so sweet! But actually, it's really all yours. You're the one who did all the hard work in the ring, who managed to win the match!
Biggs: Yeah, you're right! I am AWESOME!
Ellie: Wow, you're real modest...
Cyrus: He doesn't have to be! After all, we are the Axis of Awesome!
Biggs and Cyrus give each other a high five as Ellie giggles.
Cyrus: Well what are we waiting for? We got to go out and celebrate!
Ellie: Darn right!
Biggs: Can I shower first? I mean, I'm all for celebrating, but I don't want to offend the other people at the club.
Cyrus: Let's be honest, man, you'll be offending them with your horrible dance moves!
Ellie: Hey! They're not horrible, just unique!
Cyrus: They're horrible!
The Beast nods in agreement with Cyrus' sentiments, and Biggs shakes his head as Ellie gives Cyrus and The Beast a playful glare.
Biggs: Seriously, though, I'd rather only offend them with my dance moves, and not my smell, so give me five minutes, and then we can be on our way.
Cyrus: Okay, okay. Should we let Ellie in the locker room with you?
Biggs blushes big time, as does Ellie. Cyrus is laughing it up.
Ellie: We're not there with our relationship yet...
Cyrus slaps Biggs on the back.
Cyrus: Don't worry, I'll still have The Beast posted at the door to make sure.
Biggs quickly darts into the locker room as Ellie, Cyrus, and The Beast wait outside, making small talk as the new champ freshens up. About five minutes later, Biggs emerges from the locker room in a pair of nice navy blue slacks and a silk blue button-up shirt.
Biggs: I hope they weren't too vulgar while I was in there.
Ellie: No, they just kept telling me about how terrible of a dancer you are. I still disagree with them though.
Chris: To each their own!
Ellie and The Axis make their way to the parking garage, and they all pile into the monstrously large red rental SUV. (It was The Beast's choice.) The Beast takes the wheel and Chris Cyrus gets shotgun as Biggs opens the back door for Ellie, and then goes around the vehicle himself to get in.
Chris: Because it's your night, bud, we're playing your music tonight!
Cyrus pops a CD into the CD player, and Weird Al Yankovic blares from the speakers. Ellie tries to hold her laughter in, but can't help but laugh out loud at the music selection.
Ellie: You like Weird Al? You're such a dork!
Biggs: I don't listen to him for the music, I listen to him because he makes me laugh. The man's a lyrical genius!
Cyrus: Don't worry, I think he's a dork too.
Biggs: Hey, the dork has feelings! Beast, you got my back, I'm not a dork am I?
The Beast keeps staring ahead. Biggs can't see his eyes, but they widen, as if to imply that he does indeed think that Biggs is a dork for liking Weird Al.
Biggs: I'll take your silence as an implicit agreement! We're split 50-50!
Ellie: But I kind of like dorks. If you aren't a dork, well, then...
Biggs: Alright! Alright! I'm a dork! What of it!?
The party continues in the car as they head to the club. They eventually arrive at a trendy night spot called “8th Heaven,” and once The Beast finds parking, they all spill out of the SUV. Of course, Biggs does the gentlemanly thing of opening Ellie's door for her, and offering his hand to help her out of the large vehicle. Biggs and Cyrus have their respective titles slung over their shoulders, as The Beast looks all intimidating to prevent anybody from messing with them and their belts. Ellie snuggles up close to Biggs as they walk along. As The Axis and Ellie approach the door, there's a long line, with a fuzzy rope and some beefy looking bouncers. When they see Biggs and Cyrus' belts, they let them in immediately, no questions asked. Cyrus and Biggs have smug expressions on their face and say at the exact same time...
Biggs and Cyrus: It's good to be champ!
Cyrus: Jinx! You owe me a coke! You can't talk until you get me a coke!
Biggs grits his teeth and furrows his brows in frustration, but accepts the fact that he can't talk for the moment. They walk into the building, which is dimly lit, save for all the colored florescent lights and laser lights flashing out on the dance floor. It would be overwhelming if Biggs wasn't used to such extravagance in his entrance. The walls are a shiny black, and the bar floor is black and white checkered. The dance floor is a rich brown wood, and the DJ is perched high above everyone else, looking down at the people enjoying their night. Still, the sights and sounds in the bar are such an assault on the senses, as loud dance music blares. The group immediately heads over to the bar, where Ellie gets the attention of the bartender.
Ellie: My friend here would like to order a Coke. He's been jinxed, and can't talk till he buys that guy a Coke.
Bartender: I'm sorry, miss, but we only have Pepsi products.
Cyrus: That's too bad. He owes me a Coke, not a Pepsi.
Ellie's jaw drops, and Biggs gets a flabbergasted look across his face, as Cyrus and The Beast begin to laugh hysterically. Ellie purses her lips and scrunches her nose, glaring at Cyrus.
Ellie: That's not fair! You should let him get you a Pepsi! Or how about a beer?
Cyrus: I don't know. I mean, I did kind of have my heart set on that Coke.
Ellie slugs Cyrus on the shoulder as hard as she can, which causes Cyrus and The Beast to burst out into laughter even more. Cyrus rubs his shoulder a bit as he continues to laugh while talking.
Cyrus: Okay, okay! I'll take a beer!
The bartender hands Cyrus a beer, and Biggs hands the bartender a crisp $20 bill.
Biggs: Thanks, keep the change! (Turns back to Cyrus) That was a jerk move, my friend!
Cyrus: Hey, don't call me a jerk! I bended the rules of jinx for you, man! We're not here to fight, we're here to party!
Biggs: Indeed. But before we get too wild, I wanted to record something for our website. Beast?
The Beast pulls a camcorder from his coat pocket, and flicks it on.
Biggs: Hey Ellie, do you want to be in my promo video?
Ellie squeals with delight!
Ellie: Yes! Yes! I'd love to!
Ellie quickly rushes right up to the left side of Biggs, as he has his APW Overdrive Championship slung over his right shoulder. The Beast counts Biggs down from three, and the red light comes on to record.
Biggs: For all of you losers and jerks out there who doubted that I would be able to beat Shadow to regain my APW Overdrive Championship, I guess the joke's on you! I knew from the moment that Shadow somehow managed to beat me last Sunday night at Rival Factions, that my precious title wouldn't be away from me for long. And I got to say, it's great to be champ once again! Shadow, I'll give it to you, you tried your best, it's just too bad that your best wasn't good enough for you to be more than a transitional champion! You're little three day reign will be a mere footnote in the history of this glorious championship, a championship which I will continuely bring honor and esteem to as long as I choose to hold it. And it is my choice how long I decide to hold this title, because if I proved anything tonight, Shadow, it's that this title is linked to me! You may have technically been champion for three days, but we all knew who the real APW Overdrive Champ was all along!
Biggs lets out his obnoxious laugh, as Ellie giggles.
Biggs: Oh how rude of me! I completely forgot to introduce the lovely, charasmatic, most gorgeous women around, the gal standing right next to me. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to my girlfriend, Ellie! Say hi to the internet, babe!
Ellie: Hi to the internet babe!
Biggs snickers.
Biggs: Isn't she great? I guess none of the guys in the back can make cheap gay jokes at mine and Cyrus' expense anymore, can they?
Cyrus pops into the frame for a second.
Cyrus: Damn straight!
Biggs: Still, I know that there are a lot of people out there who feel that my second title reign will be similar to Shadow's second title reign, that I'll just drop the belt on my first defense, as I go one-on-one with Pence Weatherlight at APW Christmas Chaos on Sunday, December 20 on pay per view. Some have said that I am jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire as I prepare to defend my newly won title against a former APW Heavyweight Champion. People are saying that I should be scared of Pence Weatherlight, that I shouldn't get used to the idea of being APW Overdrive Champion. After all, he did beat Level-One to claim the APW Heavyweight Championship. But before we get too far ahead of ourselves and declare Pence one of the greatest wrestling heroes of all time, let's take a moment to look at the facts. While pinning Level-One's shoulders to the mat for the one-two-three is impressive under any circumstances, the situation you found yourself in, Pence, was a Fatal Four-way match, a match that in all honesty is just as dependent on luck as it is skill, if not more so, and you missed a significant portion of the match, leaving it up to John Green and Jason Royce to deal most of the damage to Level-One. You let those three men beat the living hell out of each other, while you rested up in the back, eventually re-entering the match, swooping in like a vulture, gutting it out through a serious injury to inspire and delight the fans with a title victory over one of the greatest champions APW has ever seen. You built yourself up to be a sympathetic hero, one who was able to overcome all adversity, for the sake of the fans. You gave them a golden moment, Pence, one that they were all to eager to enjoy.
Too bad for them the moment didn't last, because in your first and only title defense, you lost the belt right back to Level-One, and proceeded to stick your nose in the title scene despite the fact that you had been thoroughly beaten by the better man. When you finally got your rematch at One Night In Hell, Level-One showed you exactly why he's the APW World Heavyweight Champion once more, utterly destroying you in Hell in a Cell. About the only thing of note you've done since then was pin yours truly, but even then, that was in a tag team match, and I was uncharictaristically destracted. Shadow did most of the work in that match anyways! If there's anything this little trip down recent history has shown me it's that you are incapable of winning the big one in one-on-one situations, Pence, and despite the fact that my APW Overdrive Championship may be the “second tier” title, doesn't mean I'm a second tier champion! This is a big match, Pence, make no mistakes about it. I know that on Overdrive, you tried to play it off as cool, saying that you didn't care whether Shadow or myself won the title match, that you didn't care if our match at the pay per view was for the Overdrive Championship. I don't buy that for one second, Pence. If you aren't in this business to win championships, then what are you in it for? You claim to be in it for the fans, but your behavior has shown otherwise. Lest we forget that in the month leading up to your match with Level-One at Test for the Best, you faked an injury, trying to pull a fast one on Level-One. Granted, Level-One did the same exact thing, but pulled it off much better, and managed to defeat you to reclaim his championship. You did what you did to try and throw Level-One off guard, but you also deceived the fans you claim to love! In lying to Level-One, you also lied to your fans, and not once have I heard you apologize to the mindless sheep who follow you! Also, since losing to Level-One in Hell in a Cell, Pence, you've decided to take on this new attitude of “Hey, I'm going to be dark and brutal!” Your unprovoked attacks on Joe Martinez, Draven, and myself are all proof of that. As I've already stated in the past, not only is Shadow doing the same exact thing, showing a lack of creativity and originality on either one of your parts, I see it for what it really is, an excuse for you to let your inhibitions go while still maintaining the “fan favorite” status that you want to uphold. Quite simply, Pence, you want to be able to get away with anything you want, while having the fans cheer for you regardless. You want to have your cake, and eat it too.
Ellie: Hypocritical jerk!
Biggs: What she said. If I tried to do what you do, attack people from behind, rely on guerrilla tactics, and basically tried to beat the snot out of somebody who even so much breathed in my general direction, I would be booed. But because you're the little golden boy, Pence Weatherlight, you get away with it, you get a heroes welcome, a heroes response, despite your cowardly ways. But what can I expect with you involved. I mean ever since you've gotten to APW, you've had everything handed to you. You got put in the Mayhem main even pretty much just as soon as you got here. You stayed at the top of the card despite the rather convincing defeat Level-One handed to you at Test for the Best, and you weaseled your way into the main event at Shockwave by getting to ref the title match between Level-One and Jesse Nuñez. Because in APW, what Pence wants, Pence gets. Quite frankly, I'm sick of it. And even though you said on Overdrive that you could care less whether I won back the Overdrive Championship from Shadow, whether our match at Christmas Chaos is for the belt, I don't buy it for one second. You want my Overdrive Championship, Pence, and I know that you think you're going to get it. I mean you're a former World Champion, so getting the Overdrive Championship should be a piece of cake, right? Wrong! Just because my belt is the quote-unquote “second tier” title, it doesn't mean that I'm a second tier champion! I've already beaten a former APW World Champion in Michael Lively, so if you think that you can just waltz down a division and easily snag my title, you're sorely mistaken! You saw what I am capable of in the two-out-of-three falls match with Shadow, and you know that I always have a game plan! You see, Pence, it's just about going out there and beating the guy up enough to pin him for three seconds before he can do the same to you, not at all. Your wrestling style, while high impact, is limited, unrefined. Mine is, well, simply better. I don't just utilize my physical talents, my speed and athleticism, but I also use my brain. That is why I had a lengthy first Overdrive Title run, and it's why my second reign will be even longer. Pence, you couldn't hold onto the APW Heavyweight Championship because you lacked the intelligence and foresight to account for all the little ways that Level-One could defeat you. He didn't just simply go out there and hit with move after move after move hoping that one of them would be enough to keep you down, no, he did what he had to to get in your head, mess up your thought patterns, and throw you out of sync. And you fell for it, Pence, not just once, but twice! And if you think that Level-One is smart, well, and I don't mean to brag here, I am even more cerebral than him. Pence, in our little feud, if you could even call it that, you've made your strategy pretty clear. Run up with brute force and pummel him. You did that when you ruined my Thanksgiving celebration. You have shown me that you are primarily a physical wrestler. And don't get me wrong, my style is full of physicality, but it's not all that I'm made of!
While I will have to admit that I have been predominantly focused on Shadow as of late, it's by design, Pence. As I've already established earlier, Pence, you're an attention whore, primarily from the crowd perhaps, but you do enjoy any attention that you get. By seemingly not heeding you that attention, Pence, I am denying you the very thing you get your meaning, your energy, from. You live off of attention, Pence, and even though you won't admit it, the fact that I've been supposedly blowing you off has got to be eating at you. Truth be told, Pence, I have been paying attention, I have been watching every match of yours, listening to every long-winded, boring speech of yours, looking for anything that I can exploit once we lock up in the middle of that ring. I won't let you pin me again, Pence, because unlike the other two times we've met, it'll be just you and me, no outside distractions, nobody for you to rely on. Sure, you have Modak or whatever his name is, but he really hasn't done anything that I've seen to help you. And if you were to stoop so low as to render his services during our match, don't forget about my good friend, The Beast!
Biggs motions for The Beast to turn the camera towards himself, which the big man does, staring with a menacing look into the camera. After a few seconds, The Beast flips the camera back over to Biggs and Ellie.
Ellie: He's big. Very big!
Biggs: Pence, if you haven't realized it by now, the point that I'm trying to make is that anything you can do, I can do better. You want to play the bad guy, but care too much what the fans think of you. I am the bad guy, and I could care less about the fans. I have my Macivelli to thank for that. For your style, you wrestle well, despite it's limitations. My in-ring style is practically limitless! You have some puny little body guard with a weird name, I have a genuine monster for mine! Pence, when it comes down to it, you do not have as good fo a chance at claiming my APW Overdrive Championship at Christmas Chaos as you think you do. In fact, you have none. The last thing I'm going to do is let a spoiled, sanctimonious, self-serving brat like you win my title. I owe it to myself, I owe it to the APW Overdrive title to not let you pollute it with your lukewarm ways, mixed signals, and punk tactics. When we meet in the ring on Sunday, December 20th in Los Angeles, it'll be just you and me in that ring, Pence, and we will see who the better man truly is.
Ellie: Spoiler alert, it's Biggs!
Biggs: Now, now, I was getting there. Still, Pence, I hope that you're ready to be humiliated, because that's just what I intend to do. Why?
Ellie: Because he's AWESOME!
Biggs: That, and I quite simply out of this world!
The Beast flicks the camera off and closes the viewing window. Ellie is giggling excitedly as Biggs and Cyrus give each other high fives.
Cyrus: That was boss, man! Pence can't really defend himself against those points you made about him being selfish! It's a wonder he even still has any fans at all.
Biggs: True that! And Ellie, you did great! You're a natural at this kind of stuff! If you wanted to, I'm sure that the other guys wouldn't mind if you traveled with us and became my new manager!
The Beast nods in agreement.
Chris: Yeah, we could totally use a chick in our group!
Biggs: She's not a chick, she's a very beautiful young woman, thank you very much. So what do you say, Ellie?
Ellie doesn't hesitate to answer one bit.
Ellie: I'd love to! I'd absolutely love to! This way, we won't have to be apart after APW's tour of California!
She jumps up and gives Biggs a big hug, squeezing the air out of him. Biggs gasps as she lets go, and The Beast and Cyrus laugh as Biggs coughs a bit. Ellie lets out her infectious giggle, and The Beast and Cyrus head to the bar to get some beers. Ellie drags Biggs out on to the dance floor, where they dance the night away. As the couple dances, Cyrus and The Beast sit at a table, drinking and laughing at Biggs' dancing skills, or lack thereof.
