'Maybe it's just a dream...' [o1/o2]

[Blade]

'I want to say that waking up from a dream is easy, but it's not.'

'For each and every day is a constant battle'

'I find myself in a constant battle with myself; I am unable to comprehend the person that I once was; the person I have become. I can find myself staring into many mirrors and hating the reflection that stares back at me; I struggle to walk down the street without wondering if the homeless guy on the corner is actually staring at me or just down on his luck? The reflection's I see in shop windows show a tired and weary man; but yet I battle on.'

'It is possible to say that re entering the world of wrestling has ruined me; I am no longer the fun loving guy that I once was; if I was even that guy.'

'Action Packed Wrestling'

'One step forward; two steps back.'

'It is impossible for me to gain any sort of momentum; yet I strive to succeed. I find myself coming off the back of two hard earned victories; yet I know my outlook at Shockwave is bleak. I can reminisce on the past and graciously gloat on the victories that I have under my belt, but what good would that honestly do? Maybe stroke my ego for a few extra minutes and make me feel proud of what I have accomplished, but that's not what I am about.'

'James Von Drake and Branden Harvey were hardly world class opponents; they showed their worth by showing up to fight, but that's all they did. I don't look down upon them, but I hope they realise that they were not worthy adversaries when they stepped into the same ring as me.'

'See; there I go again putting myself on a pedestal against people that I have defeated; mere victories that actually mean nothing because I am still nothing within this organisation. I seek acceptance, yet I never have truly accepted myself. My past means nothing because I cant back it up now; I can see the title of the rookie sensation slowly slipping away because each week I am a failure; failing to back up the hype I see myself thrown into matches that mean nothing and will neither help or hinder me.'

'Hey look, there goes blade he will show up lets throw him into that match.'

'That's how I feel right now; I am a place holder.'

'I have had weeks to prepare for Shockwave, a chance to get myself noticed for my second Pay Per View event, but I find myself filling in a slot in a match that has no relevance; I am merely a distraction.'

'Mr Green and Mr Gates have had their differences in the past weeks; and now they find themselves with an extra obstacle to get past if one is to claim superiority on the other; nice.'

'I should be elated that I am in such a match with two fine specimen’s; yet I find it hard to get excited when I see both of these men have their eyes set on a much greater prize. I can feel them eyeing up a prize that is greater than just being the victor in this match up; that I applaud. They both have goals set before them, each one greater than the last, and here is little old me just happy to be apart of something so great.'

'I'm still here fighting; that is good enough for me.'

'I struggle to fit in; I struggle to belong.'

'Yet I am here for the fight.'

'I may easily get disheartened and shy away from the limelight, but that's just me. I have nothing to be ashamed of as I am still here fighting, still here wrestling; still here doing something I love. For that I cannot fault myself. My confidence levels may be low, but under every bush is a sliver lining, or something like that. I see myself needing to formulate a plan; nothing spectacular but something that can save me.'

'I know I am nothing special, and if I am honest with myself, I would be happier if Shockwave was over; I for one am not looking forward to facing John Green inside the ring yet again. You see John, every time we have faced each other, you have dismantled me, making me look like a damn rookie in the ring, its embarrassing. Its a feat that I don’t want to endure every time I see your face; every time I see my name booked against yours. Yeah, if I am honest with myself, your name sends shivers down my spine, that's probably the effect that you want to have; and you so rightly deserve it.'

'Do you remember Test for the Best John? Do you?'

'Because I certainly do.'

'I was looking forward to that tournament, but you ruined it for me. In the first round you made it seem like I didn't belong; not just in the tournament, but in that damn ring. John my friend, you are a beast; that I can't deny. Outsiders looking in on the match will probably say that I lost down to one simple mistake, but we both know that you had the match settled before the bell even rang. I don't know how to look past it; I don't know how I can try and use my past against you as you dismantled me on Overdrive; I just can't win.'

'Maybe I have to look past that and see that C.J. Gates could be my saving grace.'

'You and him have your issues with each other and I am just merely the third wheel in this match; but that is something that I could possibly use to my advantage. Maybe it is just something that will make me weaker. You see; I am not really a great fan of Mr Gates as he is a picture of everything I despise.'

'Gates; to me you are nothing more than a spoiled rich kid who has had everything gifted to him on a plate. Sure you love to wrestle and do so at every chance you get, but I don't feel that you have worked a damn day in your life. I am sure it became to easy just to ask instead of getting your hands dirty because the way I see it, for you money makes the world go round.'

'Can I knock that? Not really. I can be jealous, I just don't have to admire you.'

'For once, I just want this to all be about me.'

'I want to Basque in the limelight.'

'I want to be the one who can claim bragging rights.'

'I want to be the one who wakes up and for once isn't dreaming.'

'Now wouldn't that be nice.'

'Maybe it is all just a dream.'