Dare To Be Different VII: Corruption

[John Green]

[glow=orange,2,300]Dare To Be Different VII: Corruption[/glow]

Thursday Night

John Green walked through the corridors of the arena hallway, following his match against C.J. Gates. He reached his locker room and stepped inside. His room was empty; much like it normally was, just as he liked it. He sat down on the couch of his room and closed his eyes. He had evened things out between he and him, leading up to their match at Shockwave. But his mind was still elsewhere. His mind was on seeing Amber. He had wanted to see her for quite awhile. He didn’t want to leave when he did. He was curious because she apparently had something to tell him, just by the tone of his voice. He was able to pick up things like that usually. He was able to get through the match and win the contest.

He reached into his gym bag and pulled out a tiny plastic bottle. He popped the lid off of the bottle and it fell into the floor. He dumped what appeared to be little white pills into his hand. The side of the bottle said prescription: for depression. He placed the lid back onto the bottle and stuck them back into his bag. He leaned his head back again, resting it against the couch cushion and the wall, closing his eyes again. His anger was getting worse. He was trying his best to control it, but it was getting out of hand, before he could even step into a ring, the only thing, his only escape route that helped him fight his anger and his depression.

* * * * *

Friday

"So you're not going to be able to make it?"

John kept his eyes on the road and hand on the steering wheel, trying not to get angry. He was talking on his cell phone. He was talking to Amber.

Amber: "No, I am not. Something came up, John. I am sorry. I wanted to see you so bad, you don’t even realize."

John Green: "What I don’t understand is how something just came up all of a sudden. You let me know at the last minute, while I am driving to meet you. You're the one who called me and said you wanted to see me. I agreed. And now you are backing out. What is the real deal here, Amber?"

Amber: "What do you mean, John?"

John Green: "I know you're not being completely honest with me. So Amber…come on, just out with it."

Amber: "What do you want me to say, John?"

John Green: "I want you to tell me the truth, about why you won't meet me. Something just didn’t come up, Amber. I am not stupid."

Amber: "OK, John. If you really MUST know, I'll tell you. I just don’t know if I have the strength to face you right now. I have something to tell you, something that could change both of our lives, both of our thoughts about each other and I just don’t know if I can do that right now."

John Green: "Well, Amber, listen to me when I tell you this. It isn’t good to keep things bottled up for a long time. So it is better to get it out now, then it is to wait forever, letting it eat you up inside."

Amber: "I know John. I just need to get to the point where I can handle seeing you and telling you to your face. Just give me a couple of days. OK?"

John Green: "OK, Amber. I owe you that much. Just call me. But I gotta go, Chris is beeping in. I will talk to you later. I still love you, Amber. I just thought you should know that."

Amber: "I…I…love you too, John…"

* * * * *
Wednesday

John Green stepped out of his car, jerking his bags out of the back seat. He had arrived at the airport where his friend Chris was outside waiting for him.

Chris: "What took you so long, John? I've been here for like two hours."

John Green: "Traffic, Chris, traffic. Why are you here so early anyways?"

Green stopped speaking when he saw Shorty, talking on his cellphone, off in the distance, immediately answerig his question. Chris rolled his eyes, then began to speak.

Chris: "So did you talk to Amber? How did it go? Did she tell you she was a lying fucking whore or something? I figured she did. Come on, man, what did she say?"

John Green: "She cancelled on me. And we have rescheduled to talk before Shockwave. She is going to be in town, visiting her friend or something like that. That's what took me so long. We were talking."

Chris: "So is she actually going to show up, or is she going to bail on you again? You told her that you weren’t going to put up with her shit, right? That's what I would've told the bitch."

John Green: "Funny…you are the last person I would be taking relationship advice from. But she said she had something important to tell me and she was ready. She said she was scared Friday and that's why she backed out. But she said she is ready to meet up and talk. I believe her. I can't get pissed at her, Chris. I practically ditched her not too long ago. I owe her that much."

Chris: "I guess. So are you ready for Shockwave?"

John Green: "As ready as I'll ever be. I am more focused on Shockwave than ever. I say I try to get through this match as quickly and with as little pain as possible. There is no reason to risk injury while I still need a point to prove here, wouldn't you agree?"

Chris: "Just do what you've been doing. Just put those bitches in their places and let them know that you will be more than the winner Sunday night. Sound good to you?"

John didn’t speak. He just nodded his head and began to move forward to the airport. Chris followed.

John Green: "So where's Holly?"

Chris: "She's just going to meet us there. I asked her to come with us, but she said she would be OK. Maybe you intimidate her or something…"

John Green: "I doubt I am intimidating. I just give off that vibe that I could be suicidal. It happens."

Chris: "Well, I told her I was trying to get you to killer instinct mode and I told her how crazy you've been acting, going back and forth and shit…that probably scared her."

John Green: "Gee, thanks, Chris, I appreciate that, telling people I am crazy."

Chris: "Well, when and if you ever stop fighting it, no one will think you're crazy. You will just seem to be in your natural element so to speak."

John Green: "Just pray I don’t kill you on this flight."

Chris: "What do you mean?"

John Green: "Just leave it at that, Chris; just leave it at that…"

* * * * *

Amber began to blink, waking from her slumber. Her eyes were still flooded with tears from the previous night. Her dreams were nothing short of nightmares. She had visions of going to the clinic, visions of her past relationship with John Green and his smile, visions of the last time she saw him, the night she told him the ugly truth and his last words still rang in her head.

"Fuck you..."

Amber's eyes grew wide, hearing those words. They sounded familiar, and it felt as if they came from behind her. Fear began to consume her as she slowly started to roll over. Her thoughts began to roam around, wondering what to do, who it could be in her house, when her slow pace quickly jolted and she threw herself to the other side of the bed to see the voice belonged to. Her fear almost completely vanished when she saw that voice belonged to John Green.

Green sat a few feet away from her bed, on an old rocking chair that used to be his father's.
He stared at her, not blinking. He had no real emotion on his face as he just sat, rocking back and forth, staring at her, not taking his eyes off of her. Amber didn't know what to expect. She just sat in the bed, locking eyes with Green, but not seeing anything in his, just her reflection.

Amber: "What are you doing here, John?"

John stopped rocking. He kept his eyes locked on her as he slowly moved forward in his seat. He didn't say anything to her, just stared at her. After a few moments of a seemingly awkward silence, Green smirked and responded.

John Green: "What am I doing here? What are you doing here? I mean, this is my house. I bought and paid for this place with my money. MY MONEY! You didn't help me buy it. So why are you still here?"

Amber: "John, you left me here alone. I had nowhere else to go. I still don't have anywhere else to go."

John Green: "And that isn't my problem, you murderer."

Amber: "Murderer? Why would you say such a thing, John?"

John Green: "Do you really have to act so fucking stupid, Amber? You killed an innocent unborn child. MY CHILD! You STOLE from ME! You are a murderer, Amber, a sick fucking murderer."

Amber: "John, it is a common thing..."

John Green: "Don't give me that crap! It's a common thing? Yeah I am sure it is a common thing...for COWARDS! You are open to spread your legs, but when it comes to taking responsibility for those actions, you get to choose whether or not the baby lives or dies. You see, society has been made up by a bunch of tools, Amber. I see it this...murder should result in your own death. Now, if you are a police officer fighting for own life, murder is OK. But what you did...was a prime example of cowardice."

Amber: "Cowardice?"

John Green: "That's what I said. Let me ask you...what was your reason for having an abortion, Amber?"

Amber: "I...I...I was alone, John...you weren't here. I could've have taken care of the baby by myself...I didn't have any other choice!"

John Green: "You had another choice. It starts with an "A". It is called adoption, Amber. You couldn't take care of the child, so you had it killed, you had murdered, before the child could see the light of day. What gives you the right? NOTHING!!! You think you are innocent, but you have wronged me. I thought you loved me, yet you STOLE FROM ME!!! AMBER YOU STOLE FROM ME!!! Do you know how you made me feel, Amber? Do you have any clue?"

Amber: "No...I don't...John...(begins crying)...I...don't...

John Green: "Of course you don't. You see, that's why we broke up. You only thought about yourself. I can't stand people like you. You have your heads so far up your asses that you can't tell where you begin and end. Amber, do you know how long I wanted to be a father? DO YOU? Of course you don't because...heh... you never asked. But I wanted to be a father again for so long. My ex took my son and doesn't even let me be in his life. Yet...when I have the opportunity to raise a child of my own again...it was taken from me, by the one person I thought I could've spent the rest of my life with."

Amber: "I am sorry, John! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!?!? Just tell me what you want me to do and I will do it..."

John looked at Amber, seeing her tears which brought a smile to his face. He wanted to cause her pain, as she had caused him. He stood up from the chair and sat on the bed and glared at her, then responded.

John Green: "Anything, Amber? That's funny. I am glad you said that. You see, I am thinking about coming back to Hollywood. And seeing how I already have a house that is bought and paid for, I am thinking about living here…again. And since we are broke up, because you are a child killing whore, I don’t see any point in keeping you around."

Amber: "John…you're kicking me out? You know…you know I've got nowhere to go."

John Green: "I missed the part where that is my problem, Amber. You should've thought about that before you went and ended the life of my UNBORN CHILD!!! Amber, I am going to go get my things from Atlanta and by the time I get back, your sorry excuse for a human carcass better be gone. I don’t care if you have to sleep out on the street. I have no use for you."

John looked inAmber's face. She jerked away and continued to cry, while John walked out of the room, leaving her all alone once again.

* * * * *

John stood in front of his house, staring at it. He had left his life in Hollywood for this crap in Georgia. He smiled at the house. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter, lit it and tossed it at the steps of the house. Shortly after the lighter hit the steps, the house began to be consumed in flames. He stared at the house as the wood caught flame and snapped like twigs and fell to the ground. Green then turned away and climbed into his car and sped off. He reached into his other pocket and pulled out his cellular phone. He hadn’t spoken with his friend since the other day when he punched him in the face. He dialed his number and let it ring. It didn’t ring, it just went straight to his voice mail.

John Green: "Hey Chris…bro, sorry about the other day man. You just caught me at a bad time. I hope you have forgiven me. I just wanted to let you know that I truly am sorry. You are my friend and you didn’t deserve that. Call me back, bro. Talk to you later, Chris."

Green closed his phone and placed it back inside of his pocket. He kept his eyes on the road and his hands on the steering wheel as he continued traveling down the highway, but his mind was elsewhere. He thought about the events of the last few days. He thought about the news Amber decided to share with him. His mind replayed the image of his fist hitting Chris's lip and he thought of his words to Amber earlier in the day. Making her cry brought a smile to his face. He wanted her to feel pain if not as much as he did at this point, but he wanted her pain to be pretty damn close.

* * * * *

For quite some time now, I have watched from the shadows of the halls of the APW locker room. I have heard their voices, I have seen them. Each time sent a shot of pain down my spine, giving me a sick feeling in my stomach. I don’t vomit, but I come pretty close. It makes me sick to see these people walking around with their heads up their asses, having everything handed to them.

See: Level One.

See: Biggs.

See: Chris Cyrus.

See: Shaun Kilgore.

These bastards beg and beg and beg for opportunities, instead of just fighting for those chances. I fight. They ask. They whine and they give people the guilt trip. Lester is supposed to be the "Golden Boy" and he is always consistent, or so they say. Shaun hasn’t really done much except have a few winning streaks here and there. He is big shit until those things come to an end and it's like he loses all focus, as if he believes in his own hype that he doesn’t even know the definition of defeat and when it occurs, he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

Biggs, the underdog of the APW, if you will…yeah right! He isn’t even supposed to be in a match at Shockwave since he is the boss. the ego, I am telling you, the EGO! These vets can't stand the fact of a bright and promising star coming along and making it to the main event. They can't stand it. It fucks with them. If someone else gets a bit more of the limelight than they do, they go berserk. It. Is. Pitiful.

C.J. is such a tool. Poor guy, he believes he can defeat me now. I ask…how? He's making a fool of himself, asking me to team up with him to get Blade out, and to me that was making him look like a joke right there. He was doing it for a laugh and yet he is still held high in some regard. Why? Because he's over with the "consumers"? He is the same way when it comes to rookies. Take for instance, his match against Cassidy. Cassidy, despite how dumb he is, was fighting his heart out, giving the match everything he had and what did C.J. Gates do? He toyed with the kid and ended up beating him.

C.J. Gates will not toy with me. He may have tried at Overdrive, but it didn’t work. I am smarter than he is, but then again, so is over half of the APW roster.

So you want to beat me and Blade? Once again, I ask, how will you? I can not and will not be defeated by someone of your caliber no matter how good you think you matched me at Overdrive. It is because everyone has their own goals to accomplish. Joe and I are a team and as a team our goal is to become tag team champions. As individuals, I am not sure of what his goals, but my goal is to become the APW Champion for a second time. Sure I could beg for a shot, but I am not going to. It will come to me when the time is right.

C.J. Gates you are fighting a lost cause. You may think that you are better than me but the truth is you aren't even close. I have told you this before, yet you are so intent on beating me. You are an idiot, plain and simple. You are fighting with desperation, to keep your career in the APW from drowning. You were a hot story back for a second, but as soon as you lost to me, nobody cared. You just got lost in the shuffle. I know what that’s like. I have been there, done that. I have let people walk over me and step on me. But I stopped letting it happen. I became my own man. I started standing my ground and soon after, I became the APW World Heavyweight Champion.

I didn’t become a part of the political and corrupt system known as the APW backstage locker room. I did it on my own terms. I earn my way every step. I don’t take hand outs and I don’t need them. The backstage politics, people like Level One, who is viewed as if he were Jesus Christ himself, living off his reputation and everything he did back in EWC. He is a pet. You see, C.J. Gates that it is the way it is. You are either corrupt like Level One, or you are like you, a living, breathing, walking, talking gimmick.

See: Victor Hades.

See: Shaun Kilgore.

It is people like all of you that make me want to punch a baby. Just as I said to Bryan Payne, him and his "Revalation" propaganda, it made me want to get into a nursery and punch and punt a lot of infants. Sure that is terrible, but you people drive me crazy. You are all characters, spawned from watching too much goddamn television. I would like to destroy you all by any means necessary, because if I wanted to see cartoons, then I would pick up a comic book or something. C.J., wake up and smell the coffee beans and realize you are a wrestler, not a fucking character. You are a human being, not some cowboy that beats people up. If so, you would be locked up in some insane asylum.

I mean, I am just being realistic her

But anyways, Overdrive ended just as I said it would. I stood tall and victorious. So what is it now? The score is…let's see…Blade won his match, giving him one point. I beat C.J. Gates, which gives me two points. So that makes it two to one to none, Gates, Blade. By the end of the night Sunday night, it will be three to one to none, proving that, without a shadow of a doubt that I am the better wrestler. You guys have already fallen to the wayside. There was a spark of hope when Blade pinned his opponent, but it quickly burned out, much like the fire you two think you have will after the pay per view match is over. I would say that I hate to break it to you two, but I don’t.

Does that depress you, Blade? What about you C.J. Gates? Follow me here. What I mean is this. Doesn't it depress you to know that all of your hopes over the last few days, fighting to win this match and gain an ounce of respect, doesn’t it depress you to know, C.J. that it doesn’t mean anything, that all of that isn’t worth spit? You want me out of your head, Gates, but I am stuck in there, until this is all over. You tried o get inside of mine first and it backfired, but the fact you shot first made me want a little PAYBACK. I decided to RETURN THE FAVOR!!! It must suck losing at your own games, because that is exactly what you are doing my friend. Just imagine how hard you will be laughed at after Shockwave is over and the win is made by me. Oh, the pure thought must be dancing around somewhere in the depths of your mind.

Blade….you are a weak soul. You want to make a name for yourself, but you never will. You have fallen to the wayside, like I said before. You are just here, mooching off of rookies. And I know that my friend, depresses you. To know that you will never be as successful as others are. What have you done? NOTHING! And I will tell you why, Blade. It is because you have been corrupted by the backstage political game. You are a gimmick! You are just a television character! Am I getting through to you? Who am I kidding? You are just about as dense as Gates. You will be sent packing to the depths of low card Hell, much like I have done many a time in my career. I know what it's like at the bottom, having to scratch and claw your way to the top. I have been there, Blade. It's not pretty; just to give you a heads up. I made my way to the top, by doing things my way and I wasn’t corrupted by the flashing lights and the egos. You are afraid to be…different. You…you are…pathetic.

Just like C.J. Gates! At Shockwave, me and Joe will take the wins. We are not gimmicks. We don’t need to pray to titles or spend time dwelling on so called omens like you two dipshits do, because we are…real…you guys are just…to be elementary…stupid. You are wastes of our time and the APW's money. You wouldn’t be on the card if I hadn’t decided to actually want a match. I don’t expect a thank you, but I do expect you two to bring your best, so I can shut you two down. Say hello to your winner of this match…John Fucking Green…

* * * * *

John Green stopped his car and his best friend, Stetson climbed inside. John then drove off, leaving behind Stetson's home.

John Green: "I am glad you decided to come with me. I have had a crazy last few days man. You wouldn’t even believe."

Stetson: "I am sure I would. What's this shit with you kicking Amber out of your house in Hollywood? Did that mirror knock the real John unconscious and now his asshole side is kicking back and making threats? What gives man?"

John Green: "Don’t give me any shit. She was pregnant and she had an abortion. She stole from me Stetson. I have every right to be pissed off. I don’t see why it matters to you anyways. Wait…how did you know about us talking earlier?"

Stetson: "I might as well spill the beans now. We have talked ever since you left her last month. I knew she was pregnant before you did…"

John Green: "So you knew…And you didn’t tell me? That is fucked up, Stetson. No that is way beyond fucked up!!!"

John pressed down on the gas and the car began to accelerate. The speed grew faster and faster, as the dial rose quickly into the one hundred mph range. Green's eyes turned blank, as his anger consumed him completely. Stetson's eyes grew wide with fear and panic.

John Green: "People are starving, Stetson. Nobody helps them. People are going broke over increasing prices in food, homes and gas. Nobody does nothing. All they do is LIE!!! My ex girlfriend carries around my baby and then SHE KILLS IT! And she keeps it from me. It makes her not only a killer, but a liar as well. And you decide to tell the truth and say that you knew she was knocked up all along and yet you didn’t tell me. What kind of shit is that? That makes you a liar, Stetson…

Green slammed on his brakes. He put the car in park and turned it off. He looked at Stetson then lunged forward and began hitting him, landing three straight punches, drawing blood. Stetson stared at him through his broken glasses but didn’t say a word.

John Green: "Get out of my car, Stetson…"

Stetson: "I have nowhere to go. We are in the middle of nowhere."

John Green: "Cry me a river, Stetson. You lied to me about something that is pretty fucking huge to me. You lied and I just don’t care. Get out of my car. Get the fuck out of my car, before I put you out of my car."

Stetson continued to look at Green, whose eyes were now at the floor board of his car. Stetson turned away and opened the door and stepped outside of the car. He looked in at Green again, who looked back and spoke.

John Green: "Fuck you…"

With that, Stetson slammed the car door shut and Green turned the car on and sped off, leaving Stetson standing in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night. Green's rage was at an all time high. He didn’t know what to think. He didn’t know if he could handle it.

What the hell is wrong with me? Am I losing my mind? I just punched my friend Chris and now my best friend all in the span of a few days. John, you need to get your shit together…Sunday night is a big match on the biggest stage of the summer. You need to keep yourself under control…this match is important. It has a lot riding on it. You are not doing this just for yourself and to benefit your career in some way, but you are doing this for Chris too…remember that…

I want to watch things die…from a distance…