Post by brandenharvey on Dec 14, 2010 4:17:17 GMT -4
["Supersonic" Branden Harvey is driving down the road. He is listening to "Master of Puppets" by Metallica. Suddenly, somebody cuts him off.]
Harvey: HEY! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!!!! YOU COULD'VE CAUSED AN ACCIDENT!!!!!!!!
[The guy flips him off.]
Harvey: DID YOU JUST FLIP ME OFF?!!!!!! FUCK YOU!!
[The man throws a nail out of his window, almost hitting Harvey's tire. Branden Harvey is pissed. He speeds up. So does the other car. They speed down the highway. Finally, Harvey sideswips the car and knocks it off the road. He gets out of his car. He walks up to the other car. He opens the door and takes the man out of the car.]
Harvey: What is wrong with you? I'm going to rape your wife while you and your children watch. ... Better yet, I'm just going to kick your ass.
[Harvey grabs the guy and sends him through his own windshield. The man is lying there, beaten and bloodied with glass jutting out of his body.]
Harvey: Keep the change and merry Christmas, you filthy animal.
[Harvey looks at his car. It's trashed. It won't start.]
Harvey: Looks like I have to call a cab.
--------------------------
Harvey: This Sunday, I'm in a Ladder match against "Superstar" Bobby Bodacious, "The Hardcore Princess" Kristina Blackwell, and Rico Casteel. This Ladder Match is for the IWC Suicidal Championship. This match will take place after I've already defended my APW Xtreme Championship earlier in the night. Aren't I the badass? Two hardcore four way matches in the same night. But I'm not here to talk about APW. I'm here to talk about IWC.
First, I'd like to talk about Bobby Bodacious. Bobby, you were a collegiate athlete. You excelled there. You even kept up a 4.0 GPA while doing it. But, wait. It looks like you also ran a few businesses into the ground. I'm glad I didn't work for a wrestling fed you owned.
You have had two matches in IWC so far. And it looks like you're 2-0. You are an intense wrestler, Bobby. You're great. Your record is better than my measly 1-2. But I think you'll be surprised at just how good I am.
You say suicide is enticing. I think you should consider suicide. It'd be better than what'll happen to you Sunday. You want the Suicidal Championship? So do I. And you'll ahev to go through me to get it. You say I don't have an ounce of talent. You say you have more talent than me. It doesn't take talent to run NSCW into the ground, Bobby. You're going to cram a ladder where the sun don't shine to ruin my career? Or you just like to see something go up my ass, fruitcake? And why are you giving away your game plan before the match? Now that I know that, I'm going to be gunning for you early, so you can't sit back and relax. You want me to clean your toilets? I already worked for you once. You paid me in gum. Sorry, I'm not a fan of Trident Layers. But you're right about one thing. Nobody will be crying for me. They will be crying, looking at your broken body, wondering if you'll ever walk again.
Second, we have Kristina Blackwell. You're a Blackwell. You are from the IWC family. The Blackwells. The trio, or duo now, right? Kristina, you cost me my first match here in IWC because you're a Blackwell. You're going to pay for that.
Kristina, you don't care about gold. That means you should get the hell out. If you don't want to be Champion, you have no business in the business. Especially in title matches against me. I wanted to face Damian Dimitri at Massacre, but you'll do just fine. I'll just think about your cohort while I destroy you.
Finally, there's my friend, Rico Casteel. Rico, you and I have met a few times in APW, haven't we? Not in matches. No. We are the lackies of The Exchange Rate. And not in a bad way. They have taught us all we know about professional wrestling. Rico, I respect you.
But ... At Massacre on 34th St., we face off in a Ladder Match. Should we team up to take out everybody else first? Probably. But we'll see what happens. But Rico, we will eventually have to fight each other. Like I said, we learned all we know from The Exchange Rate. But I've been with them longer. nd I've had longer to learn. Rico, I'm coming. Watch out, my friend. Because I'm taking that title home.
There you have it. A four person Ladder Match. I have some deja vu. I have a four person Ladder Match for a title after I've already wrestled a match that night. It seems to me that I won the APW Xtreme Championship in a four person Ladder Match when I had already wrestled earlier in the night. Just something to think about.
[The scene fades.]
Harvey: HEY! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!!!! YOU COULD'VE CAUSED AN ACCIDENT!!!!!!!!
[The guy flips him off.]
Harvey: DID YOU JUST FLIP ME OFF?!!!!!! FUCK YOU!!
[The man throws a nail out of his window, almost hitting Harvey's tire. Branden Harvey is pissed. He speeds up. So does the other car. They speed down the highway. Finally, Harvey sideswips the car and knocks it off the road. He gets out of his car. He walks up to the other car. He opens the door and takes the man out of the car.]
Harvey: What is wrong with you? I'm going to rape your wife while you and your children watch. ... Better yet, I'm just going to kick your ass.
[Harvey grabs the guy and sends him through his own windshield. The man is lying there, beaten and bloodied with glass jutting out of his body.]
Harvey: Keep the change and merry Christmas, you filthy animal.
[Harvey looks at his car. It's trashed. It won't start.]
Harvey: Looks like I have to call a cab.
--------------------------
Harvey: This Sunday, I'm in a Ladder match against "Superstar" Bobby Bodacious, "The Hardcore Princess" Kristina Blackwell, and Rico Casteel. This Ladder Match is for the IWC Suicidal Championship. This match will take place after I've already defended my APW Xtreme Championship earlier in the night. Aren't I the badass? Two hardcore four way matches in the same night. But I'm not here to talk about APW. I'm here to talk about IWC.
First, I'd like to talk about Bobby Bodacious. Bobby, you were a collegiate athlete. You excelled there. You even kept up a 4.0 GPA while doing it. But, wait. It looks like you also ran a few businesses into the ground. I'm glad I didn't work for a wrestling fed you owned.
You have had two matches in IWC so far. And it looks like you're 2-0. You are an intense wrestler, Bobby. You're great. Your record is better than my measly 1-2. But I think you'll be surprised at just how good I am.
You say suicide is enticing. I think you should consider suicide. It'd be better than what'll happen to you Sunday. You want the Suicidal Championship? So do I. And you'll ahev to go through me to get it. You say I don't have an ounce of talent. You say you have more talent than me. It doesn't take talent to run NSCW into the ground, Bobby. You're going to cram a ladder where the sun don't shine to ruin my career? Or you just like to see something go up my ass, fruitcake? And why are you giving away your game plan before the match? Now that I know that, I'm going to be gunning for you early, so you can't sit back and relax. You want me to clean your toilets? I already worked for you once. You paid me in gum. Sorry, I'm not a fan of Trident Layers. But you're right about one thing. Nobody will be crying for me. They will be crying, looking at your broken body, wondering if you'll ever walk again.
Second, we have Kristina Blackwell. You're a Blackwell. You are from the IWC family. The Blackwells. The trio, or duo now, right? Kristina, you cost me my first match here in IWC because you're a Blackwell. You're going to pay for that.
Kristina, you don't care about gold. That means you should get the hell out. If you don't want to be Champion, you have no business in the business. Especially in title matches against me. I wanted to face Damian Dimitri at Massacre, but you'll do just fine. I'll just think about your cohort while I destroy you.
Finally, there's my friend, Rico Casteel. Rico, you and I have met a few times in APW, haven't we? Not in matches. No. We are the lackies of The Exchange Rate. And not in a bad way. They have taught us all we know about professional wrestling. Rico, I respect you.
But ... At Massacre on 34th St., we face off in a Ladder Match. Should we team up to take out everybody else first? Probably. But we'll see what happens. But Rico, we will eventually have to fight each other. Like I said, we learned all we know from The Exchange Rate. But I've been with them longer. nd I've had longer to learn. Rico, I'm coming. Watch out, my friend. Because I'm taking that title home.
There you have it. A four person Ladder Match. I have some deja vu. I have a four person Ladder Match for a title after I've already wrestled a match that night. It seems to me that I won the APW Xtreme Championship in a four person Ladder Match when I had already wrestled earlier in the night. Just something to think about.
[The scene fades.]
