Post by "The Madman" Ebon on Jan 6, 2011 19:35:22 GMT -4
(The scene opens on the snow swept streets of Long Island, New York. Outside of the IWC Arena, Ebon is sitting on the back bumper of an open Astro Van; he is wearing a new Ebon shirt, a black wool coat, jeans, and combat boots.)
Ebon: I guess it’s promo time… you guys have some nerve treating me like this. I used to drive up to a shiny new arena get my own sushi platter, my personal chiropractor, and a private locker room. Now I’m reduced to changing in a rented piece of shit van in front of a broken down building posing as an arena. You’ve got some nerve.
Cameraman: So why did you attack James Chambers, you could’ve gone anywhere. Why IWC?
Ebon: I don’t owe you or anybody else a fucking explanation. And why would I, as Jimmy sits around, his head throbbing (Ebon smirks) wondering why the hell would I go after him, we were cool as far as he knows in EWC. That’s good let him think, let him rack that concussed brain of his cause while he’s compounding on his migraines, tears in his eyes, weeping “Why Ebon, Why?” I am planning every last detail of his demise. Step by step, every minute of my attack is perfect, I can tell you this much though it will end just like it began, with James Chambers, Knocked the Fuck Out.
Cameraman: What does Chris Cyrus have to do with this, you two shook hands after your heinous attack what’s the connection between you two?
Ebon: What part of I don’t owe you or anybody else a fucking explanation didn’t you understand, jeez the other production guys at EWC were idiots but I’m going to have to consult a dictionary to come up with a word to describe you.
Cameraman: Listen man I’m just trying to do my job.
Ebon: Yah, well you suck, stand there shut the fuck up, and let me do the talking.
(Ebon pauses to see if the cameraman has something else to say)
Ebon: Good. Jimmy doesn’t deserve to be a champion he’s got management in his pocket because he sells t-shirts and will do the radio spots. I don’t hock shitty clothes and I hate talking to idiots like you, but I gave him a break, I arranged a sabbatical for him, but he wouldn’t take it, nooo in fact he challenged me to a match at the next show. Two weeks away isn’t enough Jimmy, trust me, stay home, and just stay down buddy. Try and imagine, if you can, what’s in store for you, think of all the damage I already did in what? Five minutes? With one steel chair…Geez imagine what I can do to you in ten, twenty, thirty minutes…Like I said this is all planned out, if you believe in destiny this is it, this is your destiny. I have all the time in the world to permanently disfigure you, ask the stars of this business. Ask Hurricane Jeff, Beth Harte, Cameron Hayden, and Michael Saint. Ask them what it’s like to be in a wrestling ring with me, have them show you the scars I’ve left them. You are not ready for this brand of violence; this isn’t what you signed up for Jimmy, just stay home…
(Ebon gets up and closes up the back of the van)
Ebon: Get in, I can’t stand sitting in front of this cesspool anymore
Cameraman: Talent isn’t allowed to use the mobile dressing rooms.
Ebon: You mean the fucking van right? Don’t call it a “mobile dressing room” if it drives like a van and looks like a van it’s a fucking van.
Cameraman: You’re not allowed to say fuck.
Ebon: Why can you say fuck and I can’t say fuck
Cameraman: Neither one of us can say fuck.
Ebon: Well for fuck’s sakes you’ve said it twice already, so I’m going to go ahead and keep saying it, and you’re going to get in the fucking van, right now.
Cameraman: Where are we going?
Ebon: I swear I remember telling you to shut the fuck up before…
(Ebon climbs into the van and turns the engine over, the cameraman jumps into the passenger seat and Ebon drives off.)
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
(Some time later the camera turns back on with Ebon parked outside of a Long Island Home Depot)
Cameraman: What are we doing here?
Ebon: Picking somebody up?
Cameraman: Were really not supposed to use these vans for personal use…
(Ebon stares blankly at the camera until a man taps on the window, he is below average height, with brown hair and an unkempt beard)
Ebon: This is Charlie…
Ebon: He’s my new man servant.
Cameraman: Man servant?
Ebon: Yah, he does whatever I tell him and I pay him in beer, don’t you Charlie?
Charlie: Yep, and he gives me the good stuff, Keystone Light!
Ebon: Did you get all the things I told you to get?
Charlie: Yep, Light tubes, tacks, sledge hammer, folding chairs and tables, everything.
(Ebon reaches out the window and pats Charlie on the head like a dog and Charlie smiles)
Ebon: Good boy, load the stuff in the back and hop in there’s a six pack for you back there.
(Charlie throws the hardcore paraphenelia into the van and tears a beer out of the plastic ring and begins to guzzle it enthusiastically.)
Cameraman: You know there’s an open container law right?
Ebon: You know I can get a laptop with a webcam to do your job right? Maybe you should pipe down…
(Ebon turns the engine over on the Astro Van and peels out of the parking lot and the scene fades out)
