Post by ajking on Jan 28, 2011 3:44:44 GMT -4
… across the screen as Hard to See by Five Finger Death Punch plays in the background. The roar of audience applause slowly builds with the continuation of the music. The flashes to AJ King standing in the middle of a room made up to look similar to stage that had just appeared on the screen. The letters APW painted on black drapes behind AJ King. The room is filled with make-shift decorations an old time withered wooden desk sits to one side of the room with an officer chair sitting behind it. The back wall covered up with black drapes, and a few folding chairs sit to the opposite side of the room as the desk.
AJ walks out in the middle of the room waving to the fans as the music fades along with the roar of the audience. AJ looks at the camera as he starts to talk…
AJ: Welcome viewers at home and those with us today here in the studio theater to the first edition of The Alistair King Show!
A loud whistle interrupts AJ followed by what sounds like maybe 3 or 4 people total clapping as hard as possible. AJ raises his hands to quiet the “massive” audience as he walks to the end of the stage-like area, closer to the camera.
AJ: Today we have a very special Survive and Conquer show for your entertainment. We have a show full of some of the best and the brightest stars in the wrestling world today. We have such APW names as Sally Talfourd, Level 1 and the members of the Free Agency just to name a few! Survive and Conquer in just a few short days we are going to see what each of these superstars have to say about their upcoming matches and each other. We will be back with my first guest after this short commercial break.
AJ walks to his chair sitting behind the desk as the camera pans outward and slowly fades out.
The screen flashes back to life on a solid white room with a man who looks similar to that of Joe Dirt standing in the middle wearing full Karate sparing attire. The man bows towards the camera for a moment before he begins to speak. He has a thick hillbilly accent. “Today it aint safe out there anymore. Protect yourself with your very own ninjing home video.” The man throws his arm in a way to look like he is doing a judo chop, followed by another with the other hand. “It shows you how to judee chop, and ninjee chop up to them more advanced ninjeeing. For the small price of 2 cases of Old Milwaukee’s Best you can learn these chinaman moves to protect yourself.” A child dressed in another sparring outfit runs up to the man and attacks him after a short struggle the man throws the child aside and poses as if he was a martial arts master. “Now remember this is serious stuff right here, so don’t go ninjeeing nobody that don’t need ninjeeing!” The man bows to the camera once more as the number to order the video appears across the bottom of the screen just before the screen fades out.
The camera fades back in on the studio where we see AJ King sitting at his desk with a few papers in front of him.
AJ: Now for my first guest. This week she was a very busy young lady with the near cat fight between her and Sally Talfourd, and getting up close and personal with the Free Agencies very own version of The Bachelor… Kaycee Young!
AJ stands up to welcome his first guest as Unbreakable plays and all 3 fans in the audience applaud. The curtain separates as a midget impersonator, dressed in the same attire Kaycee Young wore just last week on APW’s Overdrive, comes through waving her little arm wildly at the audience before climbing onto her seat.
AJ: Welcome Kaycee, you have had a very eventful week here in the APW, and with that said there are a lot of questions the fans want to know. First off let’s start with your confrontation with the newest thorn in the APW’s side… The Free Agency.
KY: Thank you for like having me on the show Alistair. This week has been like crazy and stuff. The Free Agency like started all this stuff and then just wanted me to like go out with one of them. I know me and Brandon have like had some issues lately with him not being able to like perform up to par if you like know what I mean, but he has that Extends stuff now so hopefully that like helps him. It doesn’t help, that little slut Sally Talfourd has been like putting her nose in the damn mess she caused…
Kaycee is quickly interrupted as a midget impersonator of Sally Talfourd comes running out from backstage tackling Kaycee. The two midgets wrestle around on the ground pulling hair and clawing at each other’s faces like a true cat fight. The crowd laughs and cheers at the amusing display from the two women. AJ finally stops laughing long enough to separate the two women picking each up and putting them into a couple chairs at opposite ends of the stage. Both women’s hair is wild from the fight. As the crowds settle down and the two women stop screaming at each other AJ addresses the women.
AJ: Well that was about as fun as midget mud wrestling without the mud. Well, Kaycee we heard part of what you had to say now let’s move onto the APW World Champ for a few words. Welcome Sally, I can see the tension is high this week with Free Agency roaming around and fingers being pointed at you for fault. You have had an eventful week as well with forming an alliance, the Free Agency, and Survive and Conquer just a few days away. What do you have to say about all that has happened lately?
Sally looks on twirling a strand of her disastrous hair, from the cat fight, in her fingers as she talks. Kaycee keeps her eyes locked on Sally with a stare that could burn a hole right through Sally.
ST: First things first, Kaycee, I told you to watch what you said you little girl. I would come over there and just kick your ass for messing up my hair, but you’re just not worth the trouble. I’m just working on covering this sexy ass from people out there like Level 1. They think that they are just going to walk into Survive and Conquer and walk away with the win. Just whatever, Level 1 is as tacky as wearing boots with shorts. The man is just clueless to think he deserves to be in the same ring with me. That scrub even went out and got like groupies to follow him around.
Kaycee looking very angry starts to yell at Sally. Sally simply raises her hand towards Kaycee blocking her view of Kaycee’s face while yelling back “Whatever! Talk to the hand!” The two women yell for a few more minutes. AJ realizing this interview isn’t going to go anywhere from here decides to move on to his next guests.
AJ: You two settle down or I’ll have to put you two in time out! Let’s go to commercial break and when we get back it’s time for our next guest or should I say guests… They have been a thorn in everyone’s side lately gathering more groupies… I mean members along the way to Survive and Conquer. Level 1 and The Free Agency!
The camera pans out and fades to black once again leaving the two women yelling at each other and AJ standing off to the side shaking his head.
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The screen goes black and slowly fades back to the stage the women have settled down, and AJ is calmly sitting in his chair behind his desk as his next guest comes out. The crowd erupts in their best low roar of boos as the lights dim and Put You on Game plays throughout the studio. In the middle of the stage a single generic strobe light starts flashing as the silhouette of a small man can barely be made out in the darkness. The lights come on as the entire Free Agency appears to be made up of midget impersonators stand center stage. Level 1’s impersonator in the front of the group the other members spread out behind him. As the music continues all six members break out into a very amusing midget dance all members in unison.
AJ overcome by the sight of this nearly falls out of his chair laughing as the midgets move their little arms in unison and move about as fast as their little legs will allow them. Several minutes pass as Sally and Kaycee look on sending Level 1 and his gang evil looks, and AJ recovering from nearly laughing himself to death. The music cuts out bringing The Free Agency’s dreams of boy band stardom to a halt. The members refuse to sit but stand making their presence known. AJ starts the questioning…
AJ: Oh god, my sides still hurt… okay okay let’s get back on topic here. Level 1 you went out and found all these other men to form this group you are now calling The Free Agency. What drove you to form this group and not sign with either the APW or IWC? And what is the agenda of your little group here for the future?
L1: Listen up you half wit. The Free Agency is here to stay at least until these dumbass record companies realize the talent they are passing up and give us a record deal. As for the reason for starting this group I thought it was obvious… I left the APW without a title and plan on giving Sally exactly what she has coming to her. I may not have been able to beat the APW wrestlers alone but now with these guys I will walk out of Survive and Conquer with my arm in the air. Sally and the rest of the APW trash will soon come to see that there is nothing they can do against The Free Agency! We proved last week just how close all of us Free Agents are with our display of strength during Overdrive.
Ryan Ruckus puts his arm around James Logan as Knuckles smacks Nate Bishop on the ass. The curtains behind Free Agency burst open as Brandon Young comes out grabbing and pulling at James Logan. The sight of the midgets Ryan and Brandon pulling on James in a tug of war fashion gets the rest of the stage all worked up. Kaycee starts yelling at Brandon and climbs down from her chair and jumps onto Brandon’s back while Sally jumps down going straight for Level 1. The brawl on stage continues as AJ disappears from the stage for a moment coming back with a garden hose. He proceeds to hose off all his guests when suddenly out of nowhere comes a midget impersonator of Terry Marvin wearing a shirt that reads WWTMD. The lights flash as Terry climbs onto a chair then onto AJ’s desk. The lights return to normal as Terry stands tall on AJ’s desk taunting AJ and flexing at the audience with all the other guests in a big dog pile in the middle of the stage all of them soaking wet.
TM: Listen up all you bottom feeders! God’s Gift to Wrestling is now here so bow before my power. Grovel at my feet as I bring to you the word… The wrestling word from god himself! You all will tremble at the mention of my name. I am here to pave the way to the wrestling holy land with the bodies of my enemies. You will all come to ask yourself What Would Terry Marvin Do? To avoid being another victim in my crusade against the likes of the wrestling world’s Sally Talfourds, Level 1s, and AJ Kings. All of you slackers and pieces of shit will get out of my way or be made example of…
Terry pauses and looks around for a moment before reaching down and uses his little arms to pull a black duffle bag up from the ground to him by a string that rested on the edge of the desk. He slowly pulls a gray slab out of the duffle bag holding, what looks like a large gray spray painted piece of cardboard with some writing on one side, in his arm covering over half his body with its large size. Terry begins to preach some more.
TM: I stand here today before you a messenger of god sent to bring you the wrestling commandments as God has so chosen to deliver them. To break these 10 commandments will be punishable by the full wrath of The Real Show Terry Marvin! Commandment 1 thou shall not underestimate The Real Show! Commandment 2 thou shall not humor yourself thinking you are on the same level as Terry Marvin. Commandment 3 thou shall honor the presence of God’s Gift before you. Commandment 4 Thou shall not litter my ring with your filth. Commandment 5 thou shall…
AJ having heard enough from the midget impersonator of Terry Marvin turns the hose on the little guy soaking him and his cardboard imitation of the Ten Commandments. Terry Marvin slips and falls flat on his back on top of AJ’s desk. Terry Marvin gets up in a rage and starts cursing at AJ King. All of a sudden AJ shoots across the stage with unseen quickness nailing Terry Marvin with Light’s Out flipping the midget Terry Marvin off the desk and through the curtains at the back of the stage. The hose continues to spray around the stage as the midget impersonators all gathered together in a wet pile fight trying to get up away from each other…
AJ: Thank god I’ve wanted to shut him up for weeks now! I’m glad to see that all of my guests this week have found some common bond wither it is being a part of the wet human mass in the middle of the stage or just finding the same enjoyment I did in shutting up that arrogant asshole Terry Marvin! A few days away from Survive and Conquer you can see the tension between all my guests just couldn’t keep them from attacking one another like the little ankle biters that they are…
The Free Agency and APW’s alliance little rumble will be a show for all to see and as for Terry Marvin he is looking forward to Conquering the competition this week. He just doesn’t have a solid grip on reality, and that’s something he can choose to take up with his god. This Sunday at Survive and Conquer I plan to bring him to the edge of existence then push him Beyond Reality! You have beaten me so the fact of the matter is I have nothing to lose and you have everything to lose. Your undefeated record, your chances to win at Survive and Conquer all on the line during our match… I could walk away from that match giving you a win and just enjoying the satisfaction of what that steel chair felt like as it bashed in your skull, and no worries there Terry. I’m a multi-tasker I can come down to that ring on Sunday and leave your ass battered and bloody in the middle of the ring while pleasing the fans with the utter stomping of your ass! And that’s the real deal, and this is My Show!
AJ walks off the stage as the wet pile of midgets in the middle of the stage continue to still wrestle around as the camera pans out. The fans in the audience cheering as Sally Talfourd can be seen climbing on a chair and jumping off with a flying elbow into the pile of midgets swaying the whole pile in the direction she jumped… the camera fades
Notice: No Midgets were harmed in the making of this show.
