Post by JD Storm on Mar 7, 2011 22:13:31 GMT -4
Scene opens early morning, presumably around 7 AM, at an exclusive golf course. The course is slightly active. Three older gentlemen, looking like stereotypical early 1900’s snobs, are passing through on the left side of the scene, joking about refusing admittance to “dirty Mexicans”. Some laughs are had as they make a few racist jokes. A few moments later, Bobby Bodacious walks into the scene. His caddy, a young college age black male, is serving as his caddy.
Caddy
looking at watch
Looks as though your buddies are running late.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Idiots can never show up on time. Go take a break. I’ll have you paged when they show up.
Caddy
Thank you sir. I’ll also keep an eye out for your friends, in case I see them pull up.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Good. Oh, and lay off the reefer during your break.
The caddy shoots Bodacious an evil look as he heads off for his break. Bodacious, not missing a beat, checks out his equipment, making sure that he brought everything with him.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
A good round of golf should take my mind off of things. Didn’t quite get what I wanted at Blood, Sweat or Broken Teeth. One lousy technicality screwed up the best laid plans. Gambler & I had everything going our way. Gambler did his part, sacrificed himself to accomplish a bigger goal. And yet, Madok somehow squeaked by because I neglected one small, insignificant technicality. That one, slight technicality, cost me the IWC Tap Out Championship. A championship that I deserve to have around my waist. A championship that, quite frankly, should be mine.
No, that didn’t happen over one lousy little technicality. A technicality that never should’ve existed to begin with. But, I digress. Things happen that you can’t always control. Even someone like myself can’t control everything that happens in life. Difference between myself and the rest of the morons in society is that a few losses, here and there, don’t stop me from getting what I want. I’m just forced into altering plans. Apparently, an alteration in plans seems to have taken me in an unexpected direction. For reasons currently unbeknownst to me, I’m in a War Games Qualifying match.
A man of my talents and I have to qualify for anything? To make me qualify for anything is absurd. Redundancy is all this is. I AM the epitome of high class. I’m the standard bearer of IWC. Does it matter that Reginald is unable to see that? Is it even relevant that the rest of the IWC mocks me for being better then they are? No….none of it means shit. Doesn’t matter what anyone in the IWC thinks. Not Mordak. Not Reginald. I have even less concern about what Hurricrap Jeff thinks. All he does for me is want to take an extended bathroom break, whenever I see him.
All I have to do is “qualify” for the WarGames match against APW is by beating the Self-Proclaimed Bad Influence. What’s his name again? Johnny Cash? Jason Voorhees? Jason Kash? Kash….where did I here that name before? Sounds familiar. Sounds like something that would only be used by an arrogant, no-talent half-wit wrestler in the old ECW. Or, more likely, used by an arrogant, even less talented half-wit in IWC.
Doubt that Kash is a moron? Answer the next question, if you doubt me. What kind of moron goes through years of training to get a medical license, just so they can legally buy medical marijuana? Not even the State of California, despite their budget problems, will just hand out medical licenses. Just to earn the right to hand out medical “dope”, you have to earn a legitimate medical degree. You might be able to get some half-cocked dental training at a trade school….Maybe!
Somewhere in your life, Jason, I think you’ve been involved with too many of the wrong influences in life. Perhaps you’ve been hanging around Mary Jane a bit too long when you should’ve been listening to Nancy Reagan. All you had to do was “Just Say No”, Jason. One simple word was all you needed. Just say “no” to all those bad influences in your life. You could’ve been more of a role model for tens, if not hundreds, of inner city residents in the projects. Might’ve influenced a few trailer park rednecks, while you‘re at it.
You could’ve had a real influence on people, leading them to something more productive. Maybe something that actually pays them wages, instead of government hand outs. Payroll or Government rolls? If you had only influence somebody to work for a living, instead of taking handouts.
Instead, all you seem interested in doing is showing everyone just what they should be doing to be a leach on society, a pariah. The closest thing you can claim to true, hard work is training sessions during your off-time. That’s it. Just a few training sessions with ham & eggers, paid specifically to make you look good. If you had been smart, you wouldn’t be wasting your own money hiring jabronies to make you look good when IWC has been providing them to you, while paying you. You’ve seriously been paid well to look good in front of some random Jobber to the Stars for the last few weeks….that is, until now.
You aren’t facing just anybody, this time around. This is something that probably needs to be put into perspective a little bit. I’m sure you’ve heard of Rocky IV, right Kash? Easy movie to remember, even for a doper like yourself. It had the Commie in it. Apollo was killed during an exhibition match. You remember what got Apollo killed? Need a few minutes to think about it? Want to check on Wikipedia? Go ahead, do a little research.
While you search, I’ll give you a couple hints. First, take a long, hard look at Apollo’s showboating. Notice how he spends too much time showing off for the fans. Somebody should’ve called his momma, cuz he was about to get his ass kicked. Not even the Godfather of Soul could work his magic for Apollo. Second, our Commie friend had a few things that you clearly lack. He had the focus. He had everything at his disposal that he needed. Drago had the equipment, the comforts, the support of all the right people……he had everything that mattered. Granted, he eventually lost to Rocky, but that was because he suffered from the same arrogance that Apollo had earlier in the movie.
It’s really the same arrogance that you’re going through, now. It’s an arrogance that’s developed from a lack of competition, a lack of any truly big challenges getting in your way. Boy, you’ve now got something in your way. I’m more of a challenge then your prior opponents had been, I can guarantee that much. I won’t need to gamble with my future. I won’t need help from Gambler, or anyone else, to knock you down a few pegs. I’m prepared for one thing, right now, and that’s an all-out war. That’s all I can focus on is a war. If I want a piece of the WarGames Match, I can’t allow anything to distract me. I can’t allow myself to be distracted by the bad influences in my life. Whether they be you, Gambler or anyone else, I have to keep a clear mind. Make all the jokes you want. Go ahead, compare me to a bunch of idiots that starred in even more idiotic movie roles. If it helps you to feel more confident, then so be it.
I’ll even go a bit further on one of those idiotic roles. If you watched The Water Boy all the way through, you’d remember something kind of important. He was taught to envision everyone that pissed him off, just before he clobbered someone on the football field. Didn’t matter if it was the Colonel Sanders wannna be or if it was someone who mocked him for being a waterboy. He absolutely creamed them. He kept creaming them until it earned him a nice contract with the NFL.
I can promise that I’ll hurt you just the same, giving you nightmares about how easily I made you my bitch. Not a night will go by where you ask yourself why the pain won’t end. Not a night passes where you don’t ask why I spared your life, despite deserving certain death. Quite simply, I want to keep you alive for one small reason. I need cheap labor, pure & simple. It’s getting harder & harder to come by. I could use a man of your “talents”, or lack thereof, to do menial tasks for me once I’ve effectively ended your career.
Bodacious’ caddy is walking into the scene, assisting a few other caddy’s bring a few extra golf bags onto the course. Bodacious is joking around with his buddies as the scene comes to a close.
Caddy
looking at watch
Looks as though your buddies are running late.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Idiots can never show up on time. Go take a break. I’ll have you paged when they show up.
Caddy
Thank you sir. I’ll also keep an eye out for your friends, in case I see them pull up.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Good. Oh, and lay off the reefer during your break.
The caddy shoots Bodacious an evil look as he heads off for his break. Bodacious, not missing a beat, checks out his equipment, making sure that he brought everything with him.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
A good round of golf should take my mind off of things. Didn’t quite get what I wanted at Blood, Sweat or Broken Teeth. One lousy technicality screwed up the best laid plans. Gambler & I had everything going our way. Gambler did his part, sacrificed himself to accomplish a bigger goal. And yet, Madok somehow squeaked by because I neglected one small, insignificant technicality. That one, slight technicality, cost me the IWC Tap Out Championship. A championship that I deserve to have around my waist. A championship that, quite frankly, should be mine.
No, that didn’t happen over one lousy little technicality. A technicality that never should’ve existed to begin with. But, I digress. Things happen that you can’t always control. Even someone like myself can’t control everything that happens in life. Difference between myself and the rest of the morons in society is that a few losses, here and there, don’t stop me from getting what I want. I’m just forced into altering plans. Apparently, an alteration in plans seems to have taken me in an unexpected direction. For reasons currently unbeknownst to me, I’m in a War Games Qualifying match.
A man of my talents and I have to qualify for anything? To make me qualify for anything is absurd. Redundancy is all this is. I AM the epitome of high class. I’m the standard bearer of IWC. Does it matter that Reginald is unable to see that? Is it even relevant that the rest of the IWC mocks me for being better then they are? No….none of it means shit. Doesn’t matter what anyone in the IWC thinks. Not Mordak. Not Reginald. I have even less concern about what Hurricrap Jeff thinks. All he does for me is want to take an extended bathroom break, whenever I see him.
All I have to do is “qualify” for the WarGames match against APW is by beating the Self-Proclaimed Bad Influence. What’s his name again? Johnny Cash? Jason Voorhees? Jason Kash? Kash….where did I here that name before? Sounds familiar. Sounds like something that would only be used by an arrogant, no-talent half-wit wrestler in the old ECW. Or, more likely, used by an arrogant, even less talented half-wit in IWC.
Doubt that Kash is a moron? Answer the next question, if you doubt me. What kind of moron goes through years of training to get a medical license, just so they can legally buy medical marijuana? Not even the State of California, despite their budget problems, will just hand out medical licenses. Just to earn the right to hand out medical “dope”, you have to earn a legitimate medical degree. You might be able to get some half-cocked dental training at a trade school….Maybe!
Somewhere in your life, Jason, I think you’ve been involved with too many of the wrong influences in life. Perhaps you’ve been hanging around Mary Jane a bit too long when you should’ve been listening to Nancy Reagan. All you had to do was “Just Say No”, Jason. One simple word was all you needed. Just say “no” to all those bad influences in your life. You could’ve been more of a role model for tens, if not hundreds, of inner city residents in the projects. Might’ve influenced a few trailer park rednecks, while you‘re at it.
You could’ve had a real influence on people, leading them to something more productive. Maybe something that actually pays them wages, instead of government hand outs. Payroll or Government rolls? If you had only influence somebody to work for a living, instead of taking handouts.
Instead, all you seem interested in doing is showing everyone just what they should be doing to be a leach on society, a pariah. The closest thing you can claim to true, hard work is training sessions during your off-time. That’s it. Just a few training sessions with ham & eggers, paid specifically to make you look good. If you had been smart, you wouldn’t be wasting your own money hiring jabronies to make you look good when IWC has been providing them to you, while paying you. You’ve seriously been paid well to look good in front of some random Jobber to the Stars for the last few weeks….that is, until now.
You aren’t facing just anybody, this time around. This is something that probably needs to be put into perspective a little bit. I’m sure you’ve heard of Rocky IV, right Kash? Easy movie to remember, even for a doper like yourself. It had the Commie in it. Apollo was killed during an exhibition match. You remember what got Apollo killed? Need a few minutes to think about it? Want to check on Wikipedia? Go ahead, do a little research.
While you search, I’ll give you a couple hints. First, take a long, hard look at Apollo’s showboating. Notice how he spends too much time showing off for the fans. Somebody should’ve called his momma, cuz he was about to get his ass kicked. Not even the Godfather of Soul could work his magic for Apollo. Second, our Commie friend had a few things that you clearly lack. He had the focus. He had everything at his disposal that he needed. Drago had the equipment, the comforts, the support of all the right people……he had everything that mattered. Granted, he eventually lost to Rocky, but that was because he suffered from the same arrogance that Apollo had earlier in the movie.
It’s really the same arrogance that you’re going through, now. It’s an arrogance that’s developed from a lack of competition, a lack of any truly big challenges getting in your way. Boy, you’ve now got something in your way. I’m more of a challenge then your prior opponents had been, I can guarantee that much. I won’t need to gamble with my future. I won’t need help from Gambler, or anyone else, to knock you down a few pegs. I’m prepared for one thing, right now, and that’s an all-out war. That’s all I can focus on is a war. If I want a piece of the WarGames Match, I can’t allow anything to distract me. I can’t allow myself to be distracted by the bad influences in my life. Whether they be you, Gambler or anyone else, I have to keep a clear mind. Make all the jokes you want. Go ahead, compare me to a bunch of idiots that starred in even more idiotic movie roles. If it helps you to feel more confident, then so be it.
I’ll even go a bit further on one of those idiotic roles. If you watched The Water Boy all the way through, you’d remember something kind of important. He was taught to envision everyone that pissed him off, just before he clobbered someone on the football field. Didn’t matter if it was the Colonel Sanders wannna be or if it was someone who mocked him for being a waterboy. He absolutely creamed them. He kept creaming them until it earned him a nice contract with the NFL.
I can promise that I’ll hurt you just the same, giving you nightmares about how easily I made you my bitch. Not a night will go by where you ask yourself why the pain won’t end. Not a night passes where you don’t ask why I spared your life, despite deserving certain death. Quite simply, I want to keep you alive for one small reason. I need cheap labor, pure & simple. It’s getting harder & harder to come by. I could use a man of your “talents”, or lack thereof, to do menial tasks for me once I’ve effectively ended your career.
Bodacious’ caddy is walking into the scene, assisting a few other caddy’s bring a few extra golf bags onto the course. Bodacious is joking around with his buddies as the scene comes to a close.
