Post by Reaver on Mar 22, 2011 11:57:00 GMT -4
Epilogue:
William Shakespeare once said, “What’s in a name?” I’ve spent most of my life dealing with the idiots who tried to run my name through the dirt for their own amusement. I’d like to take a moment and explain where my name came from. I was once the “muscle” for a mob family who took me in as a child and basically raised me. Since the day they found me, I was groomed and put into a position where anybody who thought they could run over me would realize pretty quickly that they already failed. My name is Johnathan Michael Sorrentino. Most people recognize me as Johnny Knuckles. The name “Knuckles” was given to me because I would “collect” for my family and anybody who couldn’t repay the debt my family helped them with, well, was taken care of. The idiots I speak of have mistaken my name for something of a video game knockoff and refuse to take a man like me seriously. I’ve heard it all and today I feel it’s time to just simply quash this nonsensical humor…..with more nonsensical humor of coarse; and lay to rest the idiocy that has spurred from the lack of ability to just go read a book or something. How hard is it to look up information? It’s merely a couple clicks and a key stroke away these days.
Scene:
The camera pans in as Nate Bishop, Christian Gallos and Johnny Knuckles are standing on the track at the famous Panathinaiko Stadium where the first modern track and field stadiums were built.
Around the track are small obstacles like hurdles, a few elevated areas, and even giant foam mushrooms. On the inside there are different obstacle courses with things hanging from steel beams, monkey bars, it basically looks like something out of “Legend of the Hidden Temple”. You remember that show right? No? C’mon it was very popular. (god you guys suck, damn kids and their music)
Each area is labeled accordingly and for some reason, they’re giant key rings with numbers on them saying 10. In each area is a small colored ball contained in a small glass case that can easily be knocked over and removed. They all stand there wondering what’s going on.
Bishop: Ok, so why are we here? And how did all this get set up so quickly?
Knuckles: You looking to get tased Nate? What kinda’ question is that? The magic of television of coarse….and speaking of magic, where’s Kash?
Gallos: He’s in jail, relax he gets out soon anyways. Looks like you had fun setting this obstacle course up.
Knuckles: Naturally. At first I didn’t think this would work but you know my training methods. I actually think this will pay off. Harvey wants to go around calling himself “Super Sonic” so I’m going to quash all this bullshit with the video game nonsense. It gets old after a while ya know.
Bishop: But doesn’t this just push it? I mean, if you’re sick of people and the video game humor; wouldn’t this just encourage it?
Knuckles: Shut up Nate.
Gallos: HA, can’t argue with THAT logic. Ok so why are we standing here for? What are we waiting on?
Knuckles: Waiting on Malcolm. He said he wanted to help me train so…..he’s helping.
No sooner does Knuckles say that, Malcolm Perry III comes walking out from the stands wearing a spike hat and wearing all blue and eating jerky for some reason in a very sad attempt to look like you know who as the rest of Dangertainment look on and laugh their asses off. (sneaky sneaky)
MP3: C’mon guys are you serious?
Knuckles: Hey, you said you wanted to help me train so this is how.
MP3: By looking like a total douche?
Bishop: Just doing your part Perry. You looked like a douche beforehand anyways; HA HA HA.
Gallos: I must say though Malcolm, I am very impressed with the dedication you have for Dangertainment.
MP3:….Shut up.
Bishop: Maybe we all could go to Comic Con afterwards; you seem to be ready to go.
Knuckles: Ok ok. So the object here is to grab as many rings and Chaos Emeralds as possible and make it to the end here. It’s basically a race and the winner becomes “SUPER” whatever.
MP3: Seems simple enough. I hope you know I was a huge track star in my day.
Knuckles: Track star huh? Hmm, sounds like somebody I once knew. I kicked his ass too.(gotta love the inside jokes)
MP3 puts down the jerky (twice in one promo is unheard of) as him and Knuckles get ready at the starting line. Gallos waits a moment then yells, “GO” and MP3 and Knuckles goes running through the course. They first come to the “MUSHROOM HILL ZONE” as they run up and around the foam mushroom collecting their perspective rings. MP3 runs over and grabs the first “chaos emerald” as they move off the track and into the center into the next area.
They are almost neck and neck as they both enter the “FLYING BATTERY ZONE” as multiple “D” batteries and being flung at them from pieces of string off the metal beams. Kind of swinging back and forth. They both manage to pick up more rings as MP3 grabs the next “chaos emerald” and they head to the next area.
MP3 starts to take the lead going into the “SANDOPOLIS ZONE” as they run through a giant sand trap slowing their movement but having to step on a bunch of micro-machine toys and miniature cars and such. After all; this IS a city of sand. They continue to grab rings and as Knuckles reaches for the next “chaos emerald”, he slips and falls face first into the sand as MP3 grabs it. Knuckles gets up and they both move onto the next area.
There’s flames shooting out of the ground which also happens to be shaking like an earthquake in the “LAVA REEF ZONE”. Both men have trouble keeping their balance as the ground shakes and the flames nearly singe the hair on their eyebrows. (would be funny as hell if they both had to draw that shit back in). The large pillars shooting flames out of them also have rings attached to them as they both grab as many as they can without getting burned. Knuckles grabs the next “chaos emerald” as they both move onto the next area.
They both look around and see an area filled with fun house mirrors. Everything seems to be “hidden” as they see a small toy house palace letting them know that this was the “HIDDEN PALACE ZONE” (duh). They scramble for a way out as Knuckles runs into a mirror shattering it and falling to the floor. MP3 sees the next “chaos emerald” and takes it. Knuckles shakes it off and he struggles to catch up as the both head to the next area.
They both race up two pillars that have ladders connected and when they reach the top, they realize they have to jump from one pillar to the next in the “SKY SANCTUARY ZONE”. They hope from one to the next as MP3 slips off and is about to fall but grabs the pillar to hang on. Knuckles looks over and laughs as he continues to hop along. He climbs back up and realizes that he’s in front of the next “chaos emerald” and grabs it. He flips Knuckles the finger as they both climb down to what appears to be a straight away in the next area.
They look at each other for a brief second and see a “chaos emerald” at the other end of the straight away and both make a sprint for it. Unfortunately for them, the rest of Dangertainment are also willing to help and start pelting both of them with raw eggs. Bishop nails Knuckles in the face REALLY hard and MP3 takes one on the neck a few times by Gallos. They look over and see the sign that says “DEATH EGG ZONE”. Knuckles dives for the last “chaos emerald” but falls short as MP3 looks over him with it in his hand and pegs Knuckles in the head with yet another egg. Knuckles gets up as the both charge to the finish line in sprinting fashion and cross.
MP3: Wow; that was insanity. Looks like I have 6 gems and you have 1 Johnny boy. I guess I win.
Knuckles: On the contrary……
Knuckles kicks MP3 in the balls so hard the he falls to the ground dropping all his rings and gems. Bishop busts out into laughter as Gallos shakes his head. Knuckles grabs everything and smiles.
Knuckles: Ya see Perry, it’s not about what you have before or during the race. It’s about who has what in the end. I now have all seven and once again “SONIC” loses. This must be the “DOOMSDAY ZONE” where I kick “SONIC” in his asteroids and win. Thanks for helping me train, it was WELL WORTH IT.
Knuckles laughs as him and the rest of Dangertainment walk away leaving MP3 on the ground in fetal position trying to catch his breath and the scene fades.
Knuckles: Here we are Harvey. All my hard work is starting to pay off. Months of planning and crucial placement of both you and I to get to this moment was almost perfect wouldn’t you agree? I must sound like a lunatic right now HA. For months and months you were attacked by a mystery man only to find out it was me; and for what? Well my friend, it’s time I let you in on a little secret……everything up until this point has been planned out in an elaborate scheme to become the ULTIMATE APW Xtreme Champion. Sounds a little too far-fetched doesn’t it? Allow me to run down my plan.
It all began back when I was in UWF as the undefeated Hardcore Champion. I’ve successfully put to rest EVERYBODY in my division and made my title the most desired title in their history. Alas, things became stale and after showing the Intercontinental Champion his place; I started becoming complacent, if that makes any sense to you. Jason Kash and I formed the foundation known as SHOCK CULTURE which became the mold for modern day Dangertainment. The ratings went through the roof but still, even with things going so well, they were also dying. I then received an invitation to a tournament known as The Nasty 8 Tournament where I met you. At the time you were the APW Xtreme Champion and I must admit, I was very excited. Two styles both taking it to the extreme going head to head. I had to bitch to good ole’ CHINnut for sticking SONIC vs KNUCKLES in a match together although he claimed it was all “random” but it didn’t matter. I was soon let down after your disqualification. How come you couldn’t follow simple rules Branden? I thought that I had finally found a challenge only to find yet ANOTHER disappointment.
How could you do this to me? I eventually moved onto the finals against the legendary Brad Jackson in a match similar to our current match with a few minor details different but the fact that you couldn’t step up really made me mad. So I decided to keep a small eye on you only to find out that you had LOST the belt to some Raven wannabe. Really Harvey? When things got retarded and complicated due to backstage drama in UWF, I left MY Hardcore Champion on the doorstep and came to APW. I originally wanted to destroy you and merge both titles together but Che sarà sarà I suppose right? (What will be, shall be.) When I came here, Dangertainment made a HUGE impact at the Survive and Conquer Match but inning was not my intentions, it was merely meant to introduce us to the APW scene.
You were being attacked by some mystery man by then and no matter what you did, you couldn’t shake him. I eventually saw fit to reveal myself to you as the man who has been whooping your ass left and right. Why? Have you not been paying attention? Do you not see the vision just yet? I have been slowly grooming you Harvey. Bit by bit toughening you up to reclaim the APW Xtreme Championship. Mind blowing isn’t it? Why would I do such a thing if only to become champion myself? It’s quite simple really. i want the world to see that you just don’t have it in you to keep something so prestigious. Not everybody can be “Hardcore” in this industry Harvey. Many can dispute my claim but nobody would dare prove me wrong after my plan succeeds. It’s too late to stop the inevitable Branden. You have a rematch coming to you regardless if it’s deserved or not and I, Johnny Knuckles, have been pushing you through hell little by little week after week so that you might have a better chance of getting it back. Now here we are at RASSLEMANIA, the biggest show APW has to offer in a match that’s supposedly APW’s most violent match, HARDCORE HELL. The damn Xtreme Champ and challenger aren’t even in a match this nasty. Tai-Pei deathmatch? This match will make theirs look like a pair of queers walking through the park. Much like the tag team championship challengers.
What’s even funnier is the fact that this isn’t even the most dangerous match I’ve been in Harvey. Do you really expect to walk away the same man you are right now? It makes no difference win or lose to me Branden. I win either way. Whether I take this match and end your career or let you live long enough to recapture the title only to have to hand it over to me on your knees first, it’s all the same.
Scenario 1: Branden Harvey barely walks away from this match able to compete for the APW Xtreme Championship against (insert loser champion here) and reclaims the gold. Faces Johnny Knuckles shortly after in a match so diabolically violent and painfully gruesome to watch that Knuckles becomes champion ending Branden Harvey’s career leaving Harvey unable to walk ever again making the championship the most desired championship in APW history.
Scenario 2: Branden Harvey’s career is ended at Rasslemania at the hands of Johnny Knuckles who takes Harvey’s spot against (insert loser champion here) to become the APW Xtreme Champion in a match so diabolically violent and painfully gruesome to watch that it becomes the most desired championship in APW history.
Either way I win Branden. So go ahead and fool yourself into thinking that you’re the people’s champion and that you could win. It makes no difference because the only thing that matters is that I become champion sooner or later. You still think you can take what I have to dish out? That’s because I haven’t dished anything out to you just yet. Want some advice Branden? Don’t change who you are like Sally Talfourd. Don’t become a slave to popularity. If you wanna’ be the “GOOD GUY” or hero, then be the fucking hero. Don’t do it because it’s the right thing or because the fans say so, do it because it’s what YOU want. Don’t pretend to be something else like the “BAD GUY” or the prick people think you are. Focus on the task at hand and forget what people think. Consider this the Exodus of your career Harvey. I have pushed you and molded you and toughened you up to this point. Hardcore Hell is your final test to TRULY SEE if you are worthy of becoming the Xtreme Champion once again and it’s because I brought you here. Not Sally, Not Gates…..ME! You think you can pass the test? The only way is through hell Branden………..can you take the heat?
William Shakespeare once said, “What’s in a name?” I’ve spent most of my life dealing with the idiots who tried to run my name through the dirt for their own amusement. I’d like to take a moment and explain where my name came from. I was once the “muscle” for a mob family who took me in as a child and basically raised me. Since the day they found me, I was groomed and put into a position where anybody who thought they could run over me would realize pretty quickly that they already failed. My name is Johnathan Michael Sorrentino. Most people recognize me as Johnny Knuckles. The name “Knuckles” was given to me because I would “collect” for my family and anybody who couldn’t repay the debt my family helped them with, well, was taken care of. The idiots I speak of have mistaken my name for something of a video game knockoff and refuse to take a man like me seriously. I’ve heard it all and today I feel it’s time to just simply quash this nonsensical humor…..with more nonsensical humor of coarse; and lay to rest the idiocy that has spurred from the lack of ability to just go read a book or something. How hard is it to look up information? It’s merely a couple clicks and a key stroke away these days.
Scene:
The camera pans in as Nate Bishop, Christian Gallos and Johnny Knuckles are standing on the track at the famous Panathinaiko Stadium where the first modern track and field stadiums were built.
Around the track are small obstacles like hurdles, a few elevated areas, and even giant foam mushrooms. On the inside there are different obstacle courses with things hanging from steel beams, monkey bars, it basically looks like something out of “Legend of the Hidden Temple”. You remember that show right? No? C’mon it was very popular. (god you guys suck, damn kids and their music)
Each area is labeled accordingly and for some reason, they’re giant key rings with numbers on them saying 10. In each area is a small colored ball contained in a small glass case that can easily be knocked over and removed. They all stand there wondering what’s going on.
Bishop: Ok, so why are we here? And how did all this get set up so quickly?
Knuckles: You looking to get tased Nate? What kinda’ question is that? The magic of television of coarse….and speaking of magic, where’s Kash?
Gallos: He’s in jail, relax he gets out soon anyways. Looks like you had fun setting this obstacle course up.
Knuckles: Naturally. At first I didn’t think this would work but you know my training methods. I actually think this will pay off. Harvey wants to go around calling himself “Super Sonic” so I’m going to quash all this bullshit with the video game nonsense. It gets old after a while ya know.
Bishop: But doesn’t this just push it? I mean, if you’re sick of people and the video game humor; wouldn’t this just encourage it?
Knuckles: Shut up Nate.
Gallos: HA, can’t argue with THAT logic. Ok so why are we standing here for? What are we waiting on?
Knuckles: Waiting on Malcolm. He said he wanted to help me train so…..he’s helping.
No sooner does Knuckles say that, Malcolm Perry III comes walking out from the stands wearing a spike hat and wearing all blue and eating jerky for some reason in a very sad attempt to look like you know who as the rest of Dangertainment look on and laugh their asses off. (sneaky sneaky)
MP3: C’mon guys are you serious?
Knuckles: Hey, you said you wanted to help me train so this is how.
MP3: By looking like a total douche?
Bishop: Just doing your part Perry. You looked like a douche beforehand anyways; HA HA HA.
Gallos: I must say though Malcolm, I am very impressed with the dedication you have for Dangertainment.
MP3:….Shut up.
Bishop: Maybe we all could go to Comic Con afterwards; you seem to be ready to go.
Knuckles: Ok ok. So the object here is to grab as many rings and Chaos Emeralds as possible and make it to the end here. It’s basically a race and the winner becomes “SUPER” whatever.
MP3: Seems simple enough. I hope you know I was a huge track star in my day.
Knuckles: Track star huh? Hmm, sounds like somebody I once knew. I kicked his ass too.(gotta love the inside jokes)
MP3 puts down the jerky (twice in one promo is unheard of) as him and Knuckles get ready at the starting line. Gallos waits a moment then yells, “GO” and MP3 and Knuckles goes running through the course. They first come to the “MUSHROOM HILL ZONE” as they run up and around the foam mushroom collecting their perspective rings. MP3 runs over and grabs the first “chaos emerald” as they move off the track and into the center into the next area.
They are almost neck and neck as they both enter the “FLYING BATTERY ZONE” as multiple “D” batteries and being flung at them from pieces of string off the metal beams. Kind of swinging back and forth. They both manage to pick up more rings as MP3 grabs the next “chaos emerald” and they head to the next area.
MP3 starts to take the lead going into the “SANDOPOLIS ZONE” as they run through a giant sand trap slowing their movement but having to step on a bunch of micro-machine toys and miniature cars and such. After all; this IS a city of sand. They continue to grab rings and as Knuckles reaches for the next “chaos emerald”, he slips and falls face first into the sand as MP3 grabs it. Knuckles gets up and they both move onto the next area.
There’s flames shooting out of the ground which also happens to be shaking like an earthquake in the “LAVA REEF ZONE”. Both men have trouble keeping their balance as the ground shakes and the flames nearly singe the hair on their eyebrows. (would be funny as hell if they both had to draw that shit back in). The large pillars shooting flames out of them also have rings attached to them as they both grab as many as they can without getting burned. Knuckles grabs the next “chaos emerald” as they both move onto the next area.
They both look around and see an area filled with fun house mirrors. Everything seems to be “hidden” as they see a small toy house palace letting them know that this was the “HIDDEN PALACE ZONE” (duh). They scramble for a way out as Knuckles runs into a mirror shattering it and falling to the floor. MP3 sees the next “chaos emerald” and takes it. Knuckles shakes it off and he struggles to catch up as the both head to the next area.
They both race up two pillars that have ladders connected and when they reach the top, they realize they have to jump from one pillar to the next in the “SKY SANCTUARY ZONE”. They hope from one to the next as MP3 slips off and is about to fall but grabs the pillar to hang on. Knuckles looks over and laughs as he continues to hop along. He climbs back up and realizes that he’s in front of the next “chaos emerald” and grabs it. He flips Knuckles the finger as they both climb down to what appears to be a straight away in the next area.
They look at each other for a brief second and see a “chaos emerald” at the other end of the straight away and both make a sprint for it. Unfortunately for them, the rest of Dangertainment are also willing to help and start pelting both of them with raw eggs. Bishop nails Knuckles in the face REALLY hard and MP3 takes one on the neck a few times by Gallos. They look over and see the sign that says “DEATH EGG ZONE”. Knuckles dives for the last “chaos emerald” but falls short as MP3 looks over him with it in his hand and pegs Knuckles in the head with yet another egg. Knuckles gets up as the both charge to the finish line in sprinting fashion and cross.
MP3: Wow; that was insanity. Looks like I have 6 gems and you have 1 Johnny boy. I guess I win.
Knuckles: On the contrary……
Knuckles kicks MP3 in the balls so hard the he falls to the ground dropping all his rings and gems. Bishop busts out into laughter as Gallos shakes his head. Knuckles grabs everything and smiles.
Knuckles: Ya see Perry, it’s not about what you have before or during the race. It’s about who has what in the end. I now have all seven and once again “SONIC” loses. This must be the “DOOMSDAY ZONE” where I kick “SONIC” in his asteroids and win. Thanks for helping me train, it was WELL WORTH IT.
Knuckles laughs as him and the rest of Dangertainment walk away leaving MP3 on the ground in fetal position trying to catch his breath and the scene fades.
Knuckles: Here we are Harvey. All my hard work is starting to pay off. Months of planning and crucial placement of both you and I to get to this moment was almost perfect wouldn’t you agree? I must sound like a lunatic right now HA. For months and months you were attacked by a mystery man only to find out it was me; and for what? Well my friend, it’s time I let you in on a little secret……everything up until this point has been planned out in an elaborate scheme to become the ULTIMATE APW Xtreme Champion. Sounds a little too far-fetched doesn’t it? Allow me to run down my plan.
It all began back when I was in UWF as the undefeated Hardcore Champion. I’ve successfully put to rest EVERYBODY in my division and made my title the most desired title in their history. Alas, things became stale and after showing the Intercontinental Champion his place; I started becoming complacent, if that makes any sense to you. Jason Kash and I formed the foundation known as SHOCK CULTURE which became the mold for modern day Dangertainment. The ratings went through the roof but still, even with things going so well, they were also dying. I then received an invitation to a tournament known as The Nasty 8 Tournament where I met you. At the time you were the APW Xtreme Champion and I must admit, I was very excited. Two styles both taking it to the extreme going head to head. I had to bitch to good ole’ CHINnut for sticking SONIC vs KNUCKLES in a match together although he claimed it was all “random” but it didn’t matter. I was soon let down after your disqualification. How come you couldn’t follow simple rules Branden? I thought that I had finally found a challenge only to find yet ANOTHER disappointment.
How could you do this to me? I eventually moved onto the finals against the legendary Brad Jackson in a match similar to our current match with a few minor details different but the fact that you couldn’t step up really made me mad. So I decided to keep a small eye on you only to find out that you had LOST the belt to some Raven wannabe. Really Harvey? When things got retarded and complicated due to backstage drama in UWF, I left MY Hardcore Champion on the doorstep and came to APW. I originally wanted to destroy you and merge both titles together but Che sarà sarà I suppose right? (What will be, shall be.) When I came here, Dangertainment made a HUGE impact at the Survive and Conquer Match but inning was not my intentions, it was merely meant to introduce us to the APW scene.
You were being attacked by some mystery man by then and no matter what you did, you couldn’t shake him. I eventually saw fit to reveal myself to you as the man who has been whooping your ass left and right. Why? Have you not been paying attention? Do you not see the vision just yet? I have been slowly grooming you Harvey. Bit by bit toughening you up to reclaim the APW Xtreme Championship. Mind blowing isn’t it? Why would I do such a thing if only to become champion myself? It’s quite simple really. i want the world to see that you just don’t have it in you to keep something so prestigious. Not everybody can be “Hardcore” in this industry Harvey. Many can dispute my claim but nobody would dare prove me wrong after my plan succeeds. It’s too late to stop the inevitable Branden. You have a rematch coming to you regardless if it’s deserved or not and I, Johnny Knuckles, have been pushing you through hell little by little week after week so that you might have a better chance of getting it back. Now here we are at RASSLEMANIA, the biggest show APW has to offer in a match that’s supposedly APW’s most violent match, HARDCORE HELL. The damn Xtreme Champ and challenger aren’t even in a match this nasty. Tai-Pei deathmatch? This match will make theirs look like a pair of queers walking through the park. Much like the tag team championship challengers.
What’s even funnier is the fact that this isn’t even the most dangerous match I’ve been in Harvey. Do you really expect to walk away the same man you are right now? It makes no difference win or lose to me Branden. I win either way. Whether I take this match and end your career or let you live long enough to recapture the title only to have to hand it over to me on your knees first, it’s all the same.
Scenario 1: Branden Harvey barely walks away from this match able to compete for the APW Xtreme Championship against (insert loser champion here) and reclaims the gold. Faces Johnny Knuckles shortly after in a match so diabolically violent and painfully gruesome to watch that Knuckles becomes champion ending Branden Harvey’s career leaving Harvey unable to walk ever again making the championship the most desired championship in APW history.
Scenario 2: Branden Harvey’s career is ended at Rasslemania at the hands of Johnny Knuckles who takes Harvey’s spot against (insert loser champion here) to become the APW Xtreme Champion in a match so diabolically violent and painfully gruesome to watch that it becomes the most desired championship in APW history.
Either way I win Branden. So go ahead and fool yourself into thinking that you’re the people’s champion and that you could win. It makes no difference because the only thing that matters is that I become champion sooner or later. You still think you can take what I have to dish out? That’s because I haven’t dished anything out to you just yet. Want some advice Branden? Don’t change who you are like Sally Talfourd. Don’t become a slave to popularity. If you wanna’ be the “GOOD GUY” or hero, then be the fucking hero. Don’t do it because it’s the right thing or because the fans say so, do it because it’s what YOU want. Don’t pretend to be something else like the “BAD GUY” or the prick people think you are. Focus on the task at hand and forget what people think. Consider this the Exodus of your career Harvey. I have pushed you and molded you and toughened you up to this point. Hardcore Hell is your final test to TRULY SEE if you are worthy of becoming the Xtreme Champion once again and it’s because I brought you here. Not Sally, Not Gates…..ME! You think you can pass the test? The only way is through hell Branden………..can you take the heat?
