Post by T-Marv on Mar 25, 2011 20:53:11 GMT -4
The scene fades in on a HUGE auditorium/theatre type area. We see hundreds of fans seated around, cheering and clapping excitedly. Finally we look up at the Stage which is decorated beyond belief. A gigantic sign is hung over the stage with the words reading:
The scene then zooms in on the center of the stage. The lights are dimmed and we see a man in a suit standing in the middle of a spotlight with a microphone in hand. The cheering crowd gets slowly silent as the man raises the microphone and begins to speak.
Brian Oceancrest: “Ladies and Gentlemen, last night our contestants did ‘Songs from cheesy and corny pop artists everyone hates.’ It was by far our lamest show ever, so instead of whittling down to one, we’re just gonna pick one of these lucky fuckers to be the winner tonight so they can move on to obscurity and we can forget them. As always, I am your ambiguously gay host Brian OceanCrest. And this…. IS OVERDRIVE IDOL!!! “
The corny theme music plays as the lights go up on the stage and the three judges walk out. There’s a middle aged man with wrinkles who looks doped out of his mind, a hot chick in her mid 30’s with a permanent smile on her face and a glazed over look on her face, and a black guy who’s holding his fist up and playing to the crowd.
Brian Oceancrest: “Now, let me introduce our judges. Former lead singer of <insert outdated rock band here>, Creepy-drugedout-Rocker! “
The middle aged guy steps forward and waves.
Brian Oceancrest: “Here is a former Dancer/Grammy winner….. Slutty-Emotional-Chick “
The hot mid-30s chick waves.
Brian Oceancrest: “And from a famous family…the least famous one of all…Token-BlackGuy.“
The black guy holds his hands up… screams “dawg” and “yo” a bunch then backs up.
Brian Oceancrest: “And now…let’s get to your contestants….right after this break.“
The show goes to break and then comes back quickly. Standing on stage are 5 guys with Brian Oceancrest. One we recognize as “The Real Show” Terry Marvin, and the others are all look a likes of his Rasslemania opponents. There’s a “Ryan Ruckus”, a “AJ King”, a “Chris Cyrus”, and a “Biggs”
Brian Oceancrest: “Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, your final 5….
(lookalike)Chris Cyrus, the guy who sounds like he’s stepping on a cat when he sings.
(lookalike)AJ King, who’s voice goes so high that we needed to call in a panel of dogs to judge.
(lookalike)Ryan Ruckus, who spent so much time dancing on stage that nobody actually understood his words.
(lookalike)Biggs, who was so busy patting himself on the back, that he forgot all the lyrics to his song.
And finally, thank God, ‘The Real Show’ Terry Marvin, who was the only one of you not to sound like nails on a chalkboard, though he still made my eardrums bleed.“
All the contestants wave to the fans, then they start arguing with each other, almost coming to blows. Brian has to separate them, and we catch him slyly patting AJ King on the ass….not that AJ actually minds, but the judges look at them both weird.
Brian Oceancrest: “And now, let’s find out who your NEXT Overdrive idol is….RIGHT AFTER THIS BREAK.“
Another short and crappy break happens and then we quickly come back.
Brian Oceancrest: “Okay, Dim the lights, let’s begin….. ‘Chris Cyrus!’“
Nobody in the crowd cheers.
Brian Oceancrest: “Last night, you sang “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus. The judges thought it was: Awful, degrading to eardrums everywhere, and pure solid Shit. You didn’t get a standing O. You were responsible for the suicide of 300 of our viewers. Reviewers called it the most boring, pathetic performance in the world.
After the nationwide vote….You are NOT the next Overdrive Idol…in fact you got absolutely ZERO votes. Get the fuck off the stage.
(lookalike)Chris Cyrus runs crying off the stage. He accidently slips and rolls down the stairs severely injuring himself. The crowd gives the loudest Ovation ever heard on an Idol program.
Brian Oceancrest: “That’s terrific. We will find out the fate of our next contestant…..Right after the break.”
Another crappy ass commercial and then back to the show.
Brian Oceancrest: “Alright…Dim the lights, and here we go…. ‘AJ KING’! ”
A couple of limp wristed fellows in the audience cheers.
Brian Oceancrest: “Last night you sang ‘It’s Raining Men’ by Rihanna. The Judges thought it was Gay. The audience thought….it was gay. Hell, I’m a flamer and even I thought you should dial it back a bit. However, you did make the color pink an overnight sensation.
After the Nationwide vote…. You are NOT the next Overdrive idol. However, as a consolation, you do get my phone number and a very stylish Louis Vaton purse! ”
(lookalike)AJ King claps like he just won the lottery and prances off the stage.
Brian Oceancrest: “And now for more results…right after this break… ”
Terry Marvin steals the microphone out of his hand.
Terry Marvin: “NO! No more <expletive deleted> Breaks. If you go to another <expletive deleted> break, I will stick my foot right up your <maternal expletive deleted> ass….wait, you’d like that. Tell you what, I’ll make you watch football, drink beer and do other strait things if you go to another break got it?”
Brian looks scared out of his mind and nods in compliance.
Brian Oceancrest: “Okay, let’s get to it then. Dim the lights, here we go. ‘Ryan Ruckus’! ”
Nobody in the audience claps, but a TON of canned laughter can be heard as Ryan takes bow after bow to astounded fans.
Brian Oceancrest: “Ryan, last night you sang ‘You’re the Best’ but clearly judges thought that you’re the worst. You got a few votes last night from a guy who’s handle is ‘R2_Is_Awesome’ but nobody else gave a damn about you.
After the Nationwide vote…..You are NOT the next Overdrive Idol. You’re NOT the best. You’re NOT anything. Now leave the stage. ”
(lookalike)Ryan Ruckus leaves the stage singing “You’re the Best….around! No one’s ever gonna get you down!”
Brian Oceancrest: “Now we are down to our final two…’Biggs’ and Terry Marvin. ”
The crowd cheers loudly…well, not really. Like the 5 people who haven’t fallen asleep yet cheer loudly.
(lookalike)Ryan Ruckus leaves the stage singing “You’re the Best….around! No one’s ever gonna get you down!”
Brian Oceancrest: “ ‘Biggs’, you sang…. Well, you were supposed to sing ‘I’m so Pretty’ but you ended up just looking in the mirror the whole time talking about how great you are.
Terry…. You didn’t actually get to sing cause one of AJ’s high notes broke the equipment. So, under threat of great physical harm, we decided to let him perform tonight. So Terry, what are you going to sing? ”
The camera pans over to him and his hair is INSTANTLY styled in the form of Justin Bieber’s.
Terry Marvin: “Just like everyone else in the world, I’ve got Bieber fever. ”
Brian Oceancrest: “Oh No. ”
Terry Marvin: “Oh yes! This song goes out to…and is sung to all of my Rasslemania opponents! ”
The lights dim and the stage is cleared as Terry holds the mic. He looks down for a second, then looks up as the music starts playing. We hear that it is the music for Justin Biber’s “BABY” but Terry’s words are just a bit different.
When Terry is done singing, everybody in the auditorium stands on their feet and cheers loudly. Terry just smiles on stage and takes a bow. Brian takes the mic back from him.
Brian Oceancrest: “Ladies and Gentlemen, who gives a fuck what the votes say…You’re 2011 Overdrive Idol and FUTURE APW Overdrive Champion…. The Real Show Terry Marvin. ”
Terry stands on stage as confetti rains down on him as he is greeted by the judges and fans. (lookalike)Biggs doesn’t even notice what’s going on since he walked by a mirror and that pretty much consumed the rest of his attention. The scene slowly fades to black.
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The scene fades back in on the big Idol Stage. The confetti litters the stage, and the big sign still hangs, but all the bright lights are gone, replaced by the house lights. All the fans are gone…all the lookalikes are gone…the judges and host are gone. There is but one person on stage, sitting with his feet dangling off is “The Real Show” Terry Marvin. He sits there with a big smile on his face.
Terry Marvin: “WOW! Just take a look at this stage. My production crew spared no expense did they? I’m sure this is going to cost me one hell of a pretty penny. I mean, they’ve got all the lavish trappings that a good stage should have. They got the ridiculously awesome sign above here. They got the big ass TV monitor up there. They’ve got the revolving platform right there. They got the island walkway out to the middle of the crowd. This is probably one of the most elaborate performance stages that I’ve ever seen in my life. But as spectacular as this stage is. As over the top as this stage is, there is another that totally blows it away. Compared to that stage, this one is pure and total SHIT. That stage makes this one look like an elementary school podium! Not even one of the good elementary schools…we’re talking down in the ghetto. You ask, what is that other stage that I’m talking about? Well, it’s only the biggest stage professional wrestling has to offer….the biggest spectacle in APW, and the most interesting thing going on this coming weekend…the GRANDEST STAGE OF THEM ALL….RASSLEMANIA!!!”
Terry pauses as a giant RASSLEMANIA banner falls from the top of the stage advertising the event. Terry looks into the camera and smiles.
Terry Marvin: “You know… the skits and stunts I’ve put up this week were fun as hell. And I hope to god that all the fans enjoyed them and were thoroughly entertained by them. It’s a good way to kick back, relax and bring a little joy to this hardnosed business of ours. But there is a time for fun and games, there is a time for screwing around and making jokes. And that time has passed. NOW is the time to get ready for the greatest spectacle to ever grace the APW airways. Now is the time to get ready for the GREATEST Rasslemania this world has ever seen. The greatest not just because of the FANTASTIC matches and entertainment that’s been lined up, but because this is the FIRST Rasslemania where THE REAL SHOW has EVER made an appearance. And this is the Rasslemania where I begin my epic ascent up the APW food chain by claiming my first APW championship! I’m just happy that all you great fans are around to see ME, as I am surly GOD’S GIFT TO RASSLEMANIA!!! “
Terry gets to his feet and paces around the stage, looking at all the decorations and smiling. He looks back at the camera with a serious look on his face.
Terry Marvin: “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you about the match I’m in this Sunday. And I’m sure I don’t have to tell you about my overrated and under talented opponents either. However, I’m going to anyways because, quite frankly, I just love hearing the sound of my own voice. I will start with the bottom of the barrel, the weak link, the bad apple, the…um…insert metaphor here. That being of course… Chris Cyrus. Now, I’ve done a little research on Chris, studied him and watched his matches. I watched his Best moments, and after that 15 seconds was up, I realized something….THAT WAS A GIANT WASTE OF TIME! There was no need to delve into the inner workings of Chris Cyrus because the guy is about as deep as the shallow end of the retard pool! DEE DEE DEE!
Come on Chris, what the fuck are you doing in this match? Is it because you took Biggs to the limit that Jeff thought you could hold your own? Does he even KNOW who you are? Or does he just have an incredible desire to see you get torn to shreds by people with more talent in one finger nail than you have in your entire body? Perhaps he really does have a sick and twisted sense of humor...or maybe you pissed him off in the past, anything ring any bells? Anything like say....last year's Rasslemania? Nah...I'm sure Jeff could NEVER hold a grudge that long could he? Um... could he? Either way, Chris, it doesn't matter what Jeff's intentions were...he threw your ass to the lion's den with very little chance of survival. Chris, if you're really looking to have another Rasslemania moment...then I’d order it on PPV, cause that's about your best chance of having ANY positive moments Sunday Night. THIS Rasslemania is My moment, MY time to shine. This is MY world, and you're just living in it!!!"
Tmarv paces around the stage again, takes a peek up at the banner and smiles again. He then walks around and sits down on one of the chairs on stage.
Terry Marvin: "Let's turn my attention to Contourage shall we? First, we'll start with AJ King. Now AJ, don't take offence to some of my comments made earlier, and my little skit today. It's all in good fun when it's between you, Ryan, and myself. But what's not in good fun, is my attitude when we step in that ring together in the Championship Scramble match. I have no problem taking you out...no problem at all. See AJ, in this match, I'm going to think of you as my little brother. Am I rooting for you? Yes. Am I keeping an eye out for you? Yes. Will I throw you under the bus if any trouble comes along and use the opportunity to climb higher than ever thought possible? You're GOD DAMN RIGHT I will. I would sell out my own children for a chance at gold, AJ...You I'd sell out for a fucking Klondike bar. One day AJ, you'll be the Overdrive champion, hell you may even be the APW champion...but that day is NOT Sunday, and that time is NOT Rasslemania. But, you'll get the cancelation prize...you'll be in a group with the GREATEST OVERDRIVE CHAMPION TO EVER LIVE! And that's got to count for something right?
And I think it's so fucking sweet how concerned you are for me AJ, voicing your opinions about the state of my mental health, worrying that I might be losing it. I have to say, I'm touched...really touched. But let me give you this piece of advice, you don't have to worry about me AJ, unless you're caught in the midst of my crossface. Don't worry about my relationship...it's going just fine AJ. And if something does go wrong, you still don't have to worry, you're not on my list of replacements which I'm sure comes at a GREAT disappointment to you. My head is just fine AJ, I just had to work through some confidence issues, which yes my reunion with Rachelle helped immensely with. I was worried for a second that I couldn't do it, that I couldn't climb that mountain and achieve success on a high level here in APW...but those doubts, those negative thoughts are ERASED now. So your 'concern' which in reality is a disguised way of fishing for a weakness...is really not necessary. There is no weakness in my armor AJ, not anymore, and certainly not Sunday Night. You bring your revolution, and I'll stuff it right back down your throat. You bring your best and I'll bitch slap it back to the stone ages. This is my time AJ, my show....MY CHAMPIONSHIP to win. You've definitely gone beyond reality if there's any thought in your head of walking out of there with the title. EARTH calling AJ, EARTH to AJ....I AM THE REAL SHOW, AND compared to me, YOU ABSOLUTELY SUCK!"
Terry laughs to himself then stands up again and climbs up one of the platforms the musicians used for the show. He sits behind the drums and starts beating on them, badly I might add.
Terry Marvin: "MR Ryan Ruckus! It's funny that I sit here behind this drum kit. It cymbalizes something...get it cymbal? AHEM! See Ryan, even though you and I have similar goals and achievements in mind, even though we have the same ideals and hold the same qualities true, and even though we walk on the same path...we have never and will never walk to the beat of the same drum. We just think differently. You NEVER take things seriously Ryan, no matter what. You think you're so awesome that you don't need to be focused or serious about anything. You think your sheer talent itself should be good enough to overcome any of those obstacles. And I have to admit, that it just MIGHT be! It is DEFINATELY good enough to get you through almost everything. You're definitely good enough to joke your way through even the toughest of challenges, to goof off even during the most grueling of matches like Survive and Conquer. But are you good enough to make your way through this match with quips and jokes? Are you good enough to perform your way to a win here Ryan? Are you good enough to lose focus, which you clearly have in this match, and still find a way to pick up the win? In this match, against this competition, in this kind of CLUSTERFUCK format at the GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH? I don't Rucking think so Ryan. In fact, I dare say...RUCK NO you're not. NOBODY is. Your mind is off this match Ryan, it's not in the same realm of existence that the rest of us live on.
I've been chasing your coat tails since I got here Ruckus. I've been doing everything I can to grab one GLIMPSE of the success you've seen thus far. I've been stuffed down in your damn shadow, and the only air I get to breathe is the sour stench of your leftovers. I have been squashed by you Ryan, left in the dust, and completely overshadowed by your epic brilliance. I have become a Ryan Ruckus follower in the eyes of many, a groupie, an afterthought. Well...NO MORE! I promise you that in two days THE RUCK STOPS HERE! I am not Ryan Ruckus LIGHT. I am not mini Ruckus. I am GOD'S GIFT TO WRESTLING! I am the top tier of talent in this saturated world of professional wrestling. In a world of posers, fakes, and frauds..I'm the REAL FUCKING SHOW. Ryan, I'm done being stuffed in your shadow. I'm done getting your sloppy seconds. At Rasslemania, I burst through the darkness into the light. I don't just sand tall next to Ryan Ruckus, I stand a rung or two ABOVE HIM in the APW ladder. I WILL WIN the APW Overdrive championship. I will BEAT Ryan Ruckus! The next time you see me Ryan, you won't be able to look down...you'll have to see me as a peer as an equal. Because the next time you see me, I'll be holding that title high in the air with a SWEET SWEET smile on my face knowing that I've FINALLY won the big one. Now that, Ryan, is RUCKING AMAZING. "
Terry gets down from the platform and returns to the main stage. He walks out on the island leading to where the crowd sits and stands on the raised stage there. The camera looks down on him as he stares down on it.
Terry Marvin: "Get used to this sight BIGGS! Get used to looking at me hovering from above. However, you may have to picture it a little better...because this Sunday you'll be seeing this same sight from flat on your back. Only, then I will be raising YOUR Overdrive championship high over my head while the millions of little Marvinites chant my name and usher in the SHOWTIME era. I know you're not used to losing Biggs. I now you've handled every challenge thrown at you. And I know that you have become accustomed to winning so much that you just figure that it's you're RIGHT. Winning's not a right Biggs...it's not something handed to you like you're the fucking prince of Egypt! Winning is EARNED, it is fought for, bleed for, STRIVED for. I'll give the devil his due Biggs..you've fought your ass off. You've impressed the hell out of me. I'm not afraid to admit that. But you are nothing SPECIAL Biggs. You're just a fighter...a hard fighter... who has had one hell of a good run of wins. Well, Biggs, all good runs come to an end. All good things come to an end. Your title reign has been good, it's been great...and now, it COMES TO AN END!
I've never questioned your talent, or your conditioning, or your physical resiliency. But I do question your HEART Biggs. And before you say it was your HEART that led you to defend the Title every single week...BULLSHIT! That wasn't your heart, or your soul, or your dick, or any other body part that you don't actually possess. That was pure unadulterated EGO Biggs. It was your ego drawing the line in the sand saying that I'M THIS GOOD. And lucky for you, it worked out that way. But your ego won't save you now...your ego won't help you in this match Biggs. Your ego will be forced to sit by and watch as you get crushed like the little cockroach you are. You've peaked Biggs, hit your limit, reached your ceiling. You've got nowhere left to go but DOWN Biggs. WE are about to witness history. We are about to see one of the greatest streaks come to a CRASHING HALT! We are about to see the SPACEMAN crash back down to earth. Your time is OVER BIGGS. Your REIGN AT THE TOP IS OVER! Do you see that Biggs? "
Terry points to the Rasslemania banner as the camera slides up to focus on it.
Terry Marvin: "THAT is what it's all about. THAT is where dreams come true. THAT is where everything I've ever hoped for HAPPENS. RASSLEMANIA is a fucking dream....FOR ME. For you, Biggs it will be like waking up in the office in your underwear while a hoard of giant spiders attempt to bite off your fucking dick. IT'LL BE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!!! There’s nothing you can do about it Biggs... the fates have already decided it. My destiny has already been written. You're not in control Biggs...you're just along for the ride, and it's about to take you through the DEEPEST pit of HELL! I am THE GREATEST THING to ever happen to wrestling, I am the Real Show. I have a lot of nicknames Biggs. But after Sunday, I'll have a new one....APW OVERDRIVE CHAMPION. All you have to do is show up...play your part and WATCH while AMAZING HAPPENS. Suck it up Biggs and try not to cry too hard will ya? I hate it when bitches cry....IT'S SHOWTIME MOTHERFUCKER!!!!"
The scene zooms up on the Rasslemania banner and fades out on it.
OVERDRIVE IDOL
The scene then zooms in on the center of the stage. The lights are dimmed and we see a man in a suit standing in the middle of a spotlight with a microphone in hand. The cheering crowd gets slowly silent as the man raises the microphone and begins to speak.
Brian Oceancrest: “Ladies and Gentlemen, last night our contestants did ‘Songs from cheesy and corny pop artists everyone hates.’ It was by far our lamest show ever, so instead of whittling down to one, we’re just gonna pick one of these lucky fuckers to be the winner tonight so they can move on to obscurity and we can forget them. As always, I am your ambiguously gay host Brian OceanCrest. And this…. IS OVERDRIVE IDOL!!! “
The corny theme music plays as the lights go up on the stage and the three judges walk out. There’s a middle aged man with wrinkles who looks doped out of his mind, a hot chick in her mid 30’s with a permanent smile on her face and a glazed over look on her face, and a black guy who’s holding his fist up and playing to the crowd.
Brian Oceancrest: “Now, let me introduce our judges. Former lead singer of <insert outdated rock band here>, Creepy-drugedout-Rocker! “
The middle aged guy steps forward and waves.
Brian Oceancrest: “Here is a former Dancer/Grammy winner….. Slutty-Emotional-Chick “
The hot mid-30s chick waves.
Brian Oceancrest: “And from a famous family…the least famous one of all…Token-BlackGuy.“
The black guy holds his hands up… screams “dawg” and “yo” a bunch then backs up.
Brian Oceancrest: “And now…let’s get to your contestants….right after this break.“
The show goes to break and then comes back quickly. Standing on stage are 5 guys with Brian Oceancrest. One we recognize as “The Real Show” Terry Marvin, and the others are all look a likes of his Rasslemania opponents. There’s a “Ryan Ruckus”, a “AJ King”, a “Chris Cyrus”, and a “Biggs”
Brian Oceancrest: “Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, your final 5….
(lookalike)Chris Cyrus, the guy who sounds like he’s stepping on a cat when he sings.
(lookalike)AJ King, who’s voice goes so high that we needed to call in a panel of dogs to judge.
(lookalike)Ryan Ruckus, who spent so much time dancing on stage that nobody actually understood his words.
(lookalike)Biggs, who was so busy patting himself on the back, that he forgot all the lyrics to his song.
And finally, thank God, ‘The Real Show’ Terry Marvin, who was the only one of you not to sound like nails on a chalkboard, though he still made my eardrums bleed.“
All the contestants wave to the fans, then they start arguing with each other, almost coming to blows. Brian has to separate them, and we catch him slyly patting AJ King on the ass….not that AJ actually minds, but the judges look at them both weird.
Brian Oceancrest: “And now, let’s find out who your NEXT Overdrive idol is….RIGHT AFTER THIS BREAK.“
Another short and crappy break happens and then we quickly come back.
Brian Oceancrest: “Okay, Dim the lights, let’s begin….. ‘Chris Cyrus!’“
Nobody in the crowd cheers.
Brian Oceancrest: “Last night, you sang “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus. The judges thought it was: Awful, degrading to eardrums everywhere, and pure solid Shit. You didn’t get a standing O. You were responsible for the suicide of 300 of our viewers. Reviewers called it the most boring, pathetic performance in the world.
After the nationwide vote….You are NOT the next Overdrive Idol…in fact you got absolutely ZERO votes. Get the fuck off the stage.
(lookalike)Chris Cyrus runs crying off the stage. He accidently slips and rolls down the stairs severely injuring himself. The crowd gives the loudest Ovation ever heard on an Idol program.
Brian Oceancrest: “That’s terrific. We will find out the fate of our next contestant…..Right after the break.”
Another crappy ass commercial and then back to the show.
Brian Oceancrest: “Alright…Dim the lights, and here we go…. ‘AJ KING’! ”
A couple of limp wristed fellows in the audience cheers.
Brian Oceancrest: “Last night you sang ‘It’s Raining Men’ by Rihanna. The Judges thought it was Gay. The audience thought….it was gay. Hell, I’m a flamer and even I thought you should dial it back a bit. However, you did make the color pink an overnight sensation.
After the Nationwide vote…. You are NOT the next Overdrive idol. However, as a consolation, you do get my phone number and a very stylish Louis Vaton purse! ”
(lookalike)AJ King claps like he just won the lottery and prances off the stage.
Brian Oceancrest: “And now for more results…right after this break… ”
Terry Marvin steals the microphone out of his hand.
Terry Marvin: “NO! No more <expletive deleted> Breaks. If you go to another <expletive deleted> break, I will stick my foot right up your <maternal expletive deleted> ass….wait, you’d like that. Tell you what, I’ll make you watch football, drink beer and do other strait things if you go to another break got it?”
Brian looks scared out of his mind and nods in compliance.
Brian Oceancrest: “Okay, let’s get to it then. Dim the lights, here we go. ‘Ryan Ruckus’! ”
Nobody in the audience claps, but a TON of canned laughter can be heard as Ryan takes bow after bow to astounded fans.
Brian Oceancrest: “Ryan, last night you sang ‘You’re the Best’ but clearly judges thought that you’re the worst. You got a few votes last night from a guy who’s handle is ‘R2_Is_Awesome’ but nobody else gave a damn about you.
After the Nationwide vote…..You are NOT the next Overdrive Idol. You’re NOT the best. You’re NOT anything. Now leave the stage. ”
(lookalike)Ryan Ruckus leaves the stage singing “You’re the Best….around! No one’s ever gonna get you down!”
Brian Oceancrest: “Now we are down to our final two…’Biggs’ and Terry Marvin. ”
The crowd cheers loudly…well, not really. Like the 5 people who haven’t fallen asleep yet cheer loudly.
(lookalike)Ryan Ruckus leaves the stage singing “You’re the Best….around! No one’s ever gonna get you down!”
Brian Oceancrest: “ ‘Biggs’, you sang…. Well, you were supposed to sing ‘I’m so Pretty’ but you ended up just looking in the mirror the whole time talking about how great you are.
Terry…. You didn’t actually get to sing cause one of AJ’s high notes broke the equipment. So, under threat of great physical harm, we decided to let him perform tonight. So Terry, what are you going to sing? ”
The camera pans over to him and his hair is INSTANTLY styled in the form of Justin Bieber’s.
Terry Marvin: “Just like everyone else in the world, I’ve got Bieber fever. ”
Brian Oceancrest: “Oh No. ”
Terry Marvin: “Oh yes! This song goes out to…and is sung to all of my Rasslemania opponents! ”
The lights dim and the stage is cleared as Terry holds the mic. He looks down for a second, then looks up as the music starts playing. We hear that it is the music for Justin Biber’s “BABY” but Terry’s words are just a bit different.
I know you love me, I know it’s true.
But at Rasslemania, you guys are Screwed.
It is my goal, It’s time to start.
And I will tear you other fuckers apart!
When It’s all over, when it’s all done.
The final victor? I’ll be the ONE.
It is my Era. My time to Shine.
Ain’t you fuckers ever heard of SHOWTIME!
You’ll be crying like a baby, baby, baby, oh
Like a baby, baby, baby, oh
Ain’t no maybe, maybe, maybe, NO!
That Overdrive title is mine, mine
Like a baby, baby, baby, oh
Like a baby, baby, baby, oh
Ain’t no maybe, maybe, maybe, NO!
That Overdrive title is mine, mine
But at Rasslemania, you guys are Screwed.
It is my goal, It’s time to start.
And I will tear you other fuckers apart!
When It’s all over, when it’s all done.
The final victor? I’ll be the ONE.
It is my Era. My time to Shine.
Ain’t you fuckers ever heard of SHOWTIME!
You’ll be crying like a baby, baby, baby, oh
Like a baby, baby, baby, oh
Ain’t no maybe, maybe, maybe, NO!
That Overdrive title is mine, mine
Like a baby, baby, baby, oh
Like a baby, baby, baby, oh
Ain’t no maybe, maybe, maybe, NO!
That Overdrive title is mine, mine
When Terry is done singing, everybody in the auditorium stands on their feet and cheers loudly. Terry just smiles on stage and takes a bow. Brian takes the mic back from him.
Brian Oceancrest: “Ladies and Gentlemen, who gives a fuck what the votes say…You’re 2011 Overdrive Idol and FUTURE APW Overdrive Champion…. The Real Show Terry Marvin. ”
Terry stands on stage as confetti rains down on him as he is greeted by the judges and fans. (lookalike)Biggs doesn’t even notice what’s going on since he walked by a mirror and that pretty much consumed the rest of his attention. The scene slowly fades to black.
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The scene fades back in on the big Idol Stage. The confetti litters the stage, and the big sign still hangs, but all the bright lights are gone, replaced by the house lights. All the fans are gone…all the lookalikes are gone…the judges and host are gone. There is but one person on stage, sitting with his feet dangling off is “The Real Show” Terry Marvin. He sits there with a big smile on his face.
Terry Marvin: “WOW! Just take a look at this stage. My production crew spared no expense did they? I’m sure this is going to cost me one hell of a pretty penny. I mean, they’ve got all the lavish trappings that a good stage should have. They got the ridiculously awesome sign above here. They got the big ass TV monitor up there. They’ve got the revolving platform right there. They got the island walkway out to the middle of the crowd. This is probably one of the most elaborate performance stages that I’ve ever seen in my life. But as spectacular as this stage is. As over the top as this stage is, there is another that totally blows it away. Compared to that stage, this one is pure and total SHIT. That stage makes this one look like an elementary school podium! Not even one of the good elementary schools…we’re talking down in the ghetto. You ask, what is that other stage that I’m talking about? Well, it’s only the biggest stage professional wrestling has to offer….the biggest spectacle in APW, and the most interesting thing going on this coming weekend…the GRANDEST STAGE OF THEM ALL….RASSLEMANIA!!!”
Terry pauses as a giant RASSLEMANIA banner falls from the top of the stage advertising the event. Terry looks into the camera and smiles.
Terry Marvin: “You know… the skits and stunts I’ve put up this week were fun as hell. And I hope to god that all the fans enjoyed them and were thoroughly entertained by them. It’s a good way to kick back, relax and bring a little joy to this hardnosed business of ours. But there is a time for fun and games, there is a time for screwing around and making jokes. And that time has passed. NOW is the time to get ready for the greatest spectacle to ever grace the APW airways. Now is the time to get ready for the GREATEST Rasslemania this world has ever seen. The greatest not just because of the FANTASTIC matches and entertainment that’s been lined up, but because this is the FIRST Rasslemania where THE REAL SHOW has EVER made an appearance. And this is the Rasslemania where I begin my epic ascent up the APW food chain by claiming my first APW championship! I’m just happy that all you great fans are around to see ME, as I am surly GOD’S GIFT TO RASSLEMANIA!!! “
Terry gets to his feet and paces around the stage, looking at all the decorations and smiling. He looks back at the camera with a serious look on his face.
Terry Marvin: “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you about the match I’m in this Sunday. And I’m sure I don’t have to tell you about my overrated and under talented opponents either. However, I’m going to anyways because, quite frankly, I just love hearing the sound of my own voice. I will start with the bottom of the barrel, the weak link, the bad apple, the…um…insert metaphor here. That being of course… Chris Cyrus. Now, I’ve done a little research on Chris, studied him and watched his matches. I watched his Best moments, and after that 15 seconds was up, I realized something….THAT WAS A GIANT WASTE OF TIME! There was no need to delve into the inner workings of Chris Cyrus because the guy is about as deep as the shallow end of the retard pool! DEE DEE DEE!
Come on Chris, what the fuck are you doing in this match? Is it because you took Biggs to the limit that Jeff thought you could hold your own? Does he even KNOW who you are? Or does he just have an incredible desire to see you get torn to shreds by people with more talent in one finger nail than you have in your entire body? Perhaps he really does have a sick and twisted sense of humor...or maybe you pissed him off in the past, anything ring any bells? Anything like say....last year's Rasslemania? Nah...I'm sure Jeff could NEVER hold a grudge that long could he? Um... could he? Either way, Chris, it doesn't matter what Jeff's intentions were...he threw your ass to the lion's den with very little chance of survival. Chris, if you're really looking to have another Rasslemania moment...then I’d order it on PPV, cause that's about your best chance of having ANY positive moments Sunday Night. THIS Rasslemania is My moment, MY time to shine. This is MY world, and you're just living in it!!!"
Tmarv paces around the stage again, takes a peek up at the banner and smiles again. He then walks around and sits down on one of the chairs on stage.
Terry Marvin: "Let's turn my attention to Contourage shall we? First, we'll start with AJ King. Now AJ, don't take offence to some of my comments made earlier, and my little skit today. It's all in good fun when it's between you, Ryan, and myself. But what's not in good fun, is my attitude when we step in that ring together in the Championship Scramble match. I have no problem taking you out...no problem at all. See AJ, in this match, I'm going to think of you as my little brother. Am I rooting for you? Yes. Am I keeping an eye out for you? Yes. Will I throw you under the bus if any trouble comes along and use the opportunity to climb higher than ever thought possible? You're GOD DAMN RIGHT I will. I would sell out my own children for a chance at gold, AJ...You I'd sell out for a fucking Klondike bar. One day AJ, you'll be the Overdrive champion, hell you may even be the APW champion...but that day is NOT Sunday, and that time is NOT Rasslemania. But, you'll get the cancelation prize...you'll be in a group with the GREATEST OVERDRIVE CHAMPION TO EVER LIVE! And that's got to count for something right?
And I think it's so fucking sweet how concerned you are for me AJ, voicing your opinions about the state of my mental health, worrying that I might be losing it. I have to say, I'm touched...really touched. But let me give you this piece of advice, you don't have to worry about me AJ, unless you're caught in the midst of my crossface. Don't worry about my relationship...it's going just fine AJ. And if something does go wrong, you still don't have to worry, you're not on my list of replacements which I'm sure comes at a GREAT disappointment to you. My head is just fine AJ, I just had to work through some confidence issues, which yes my reunion with Rachelle helped immensely with. I was worried for a second that I couldn't do it, that I couldn't climb that mountain and achieve success on a high level here in APW...but those doubts, those negative thoughts are ERASED now. So your 'concern' which in reality is a disguised way of fishing for a weakness...is really not necessary. There is no weakness in my armor AJ, not anymore, and certainly not Sunday Night. You bring your revolution, and I'll stuff it right back down your throat. You bring your best and I'll bitch slap it back to the stone ages. This is my time AJ, my show....MY CHAMPIONSHIP to win. You've definitely gone beyond reality if there's any thought in your head of walking out of there with the title. EARTH calling AJ, EARTH to AJ....I AM THE REAL SHOW, AND compared to me, YOU ABSOLUTELY SUCK!"
Terry laughs to himself then stands up again and climbs up one of the platforms the musicians used for the show. He sits behind the drums and starts beating on them, badly I might add.
Terry Marvin: "MR Ryan Ruckus! It's funny that I sit here behind this drum kit. It cymbalizes something...get it cymbal? AHEM! See Ryan, even though you and I have similar goals and achievements in mind, even though we have the same ideals and hold the same qualities true, and even though we walk on the same path...we have never and will never walk to the beat of the same drum. We just think differently. You NEVER take things seriously Ryan, no matter what. You think you're so awesome that you don't need to be focused or serious about anything. You think your sheer talent itself should be good enough to overcome any of those obstacles. And I have to admit, that it just MIGHT be! It is DEFINATELY good enough to get you through almost everything. You're definitely good enough to joke your way through even the toughest of challenges, to goof off even during the most grueling of matches like Survive and Conquer. But are you good enough to make your way through this match with quips and jokes? Are you good enough to perform your way to a win here Ryan? Are you good enough to lose focus, which you clearly have in this match, and still find a way to pick up the win? In this match, against this competition, in this kind of CLUSTERFUCK format at the GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH? I don't Rucking think so Ryan. In fact, I dare say...RUCK NO you're not. NOBODY is. Your mind is off this match Ryan, it's not in the same realm of existence that the rest of us live on.
I've been chasing your coat tails since I got here Ruckus. I've been doing everything I can to grab one GLIMPSE of the success you've seen thus far. I've been stuffed down in your damn shadow, and the only air I get to breathe is the sour stench of your leftovers. I have been squashed by you Ryan, left in the dust, and completely overshadowed by your epic brilliance. I have become a Ryan Ruckus follower in the eyes of many, a groupie, an afterthought. Well...NO MORE! I promise you that in two days THE RUCK STOPS HERE! I am not Ryan Ruckus LIGHT. I am not mini Ruckus. I am GOD'S GIFT TO WRESTLING! I am the top tier of talent in this saturated world of professional wrestling. In a world of posers, fakes, and frauds..I'm the REAL FUCKING SHOW. Ryan, I'm done being stuffed in your shadow. I'm done getting your sloppy seconds. At Rasslemania, I burst through the darkness into the light. I don't just sand tall next to Ryan Ruckus, I stand a rung or two ABOVE HIM in the APW ladder. I WILL WIN the APW Overdrive championship. I will BEAT Ryan Ruckus! The next time you see me Ryan, you won't be able to look down...you'll have to see me as a peer as an equal. Because the next time you see me, I'll be holding that title high in the air with a SWEET SWEET smile on my face knowing that I've FINALLY won the big one. Now that, Ryan, is RUCKING AMAZING. "
Terry gets down from the platform and returns to the main stage. He walks out on the island leading to where the crowd sits and stands on the raised stage there. The camera looks down on him as he stares down on it.
Terry Marvin: "Get used to this sight BIGGS! Get used to looking at me hovering from above. However, you may have to picture it a little better...because this Sunday you'll be seeing this same sight from flat on your back. Only, then I will be raising YOUR Overdrive championship high over my head while the millions of little Marvinites chant my name and usher in the SHOWTIME era. I know you're not used to losing Biggs. I now you've handled every challenge thrown at you. And I know that you have become accustomed to winning so much that you just figure that it's you're RIGHT. Winning's not a right Biggs...it's not something handed to you like you're the fucking prince of Egypt! Winning is EARNED, it is fought for, bleed for, STRIVED for. I'll give the devil his due Biggs..you've fought your ass off. You've impressed the hell out of me. I'm not afraid to admit that. But you are nothing SPECIAL Biggs. You're just a fighter...a hard fighter... who has had one hell of a good run of wins. Well, Biggs, all good runs come to an end. All good things come to an end. Your title reign has been good, it's been great...and now, it COMES TO AN END!
I've never questioned your talent, or your conditioning, or your physical resiliency. But I do question your HEART Biggs. And before you say it was your HEART that led you to defend the Title every single week...BULLSHIT! That wasn't your heart, or your soul, or your dick, or any other body part that you don't actually possess. That was pure unadulterated EGO Biggs. It was your ego drawing the line in the sand saying that I'M THIS GOOD. And lucky for you, it worked out that way. But your ego won't save you now...your ego won't help you in this match Biggs. Your ego will be forced to sit by and watch as you get crushed like the little cockroach you are. You've peaked Biggs, hit your limit, reached your ceiling. You've got nowhere left to go but DOWN Biggs. WE are about to witness history. We are about to see one of the greatest streaks come to a CRASHING HALT! We are about to see the SPACEMAN crash back down to earth. Your time is OVER BIGGS. Your REIGN AT THE TOP IS OVER! Do you see that Biggs? "
Terry points to the Rasslemania banner as the camera slides up to focus on it.
Terry Marvin: "THAT is what it's all about. THAT is where dreams come true. THAT is where everything I've ever hoped for HAPPENS. RASSLEMANIA is a fucking dream....FOR ME. For you, Biggs it will be like waking up in the office in your underwear while a hoard of giant spiders attempt to bite off your fucking dick. IT'LL BE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!!! There’s nothing you can do about it Biggs... the fates have already decided it. My destiny has already been written. You're not in control Biggs...you're just along for the ride, and it's about to take you through the DEEPEST pit of HELL! I am THE GREATEST THING to ever happen to wrestling, I am the Real Show. I have a lot of nicknames Biggs. But after Sunday, I'll have a new one....APW OVERDRIVE CHAMPION. All you have to do is show up...play your part and WATCH while AMAZING HAPPENS. Suck it up Biggs and try not to cry too hard will ya? I hate it when bitches cry....IT'S SHOWTIME MOTHERFUCKER!!!!"
The scene zooms up on the Rasslemania banner and fades out on it.
