Post by Jimmy The Lock on Apr 10, 2011 18:14:50 GMT -4
Saturday, April 2nd, 2011, 12:34 P.M.
Brave Legion MMA
Vancouver, Washington
Craig: Jimmy, you have to do something now! Like we practiced, go!
James: What happened?
Craig: It's over, kid. You failed your first lesson.
James: Oh no, I didn't! Yo, Ronnie!
James rises and shoves Craig off of him. Ronnie spins on his heel.
James: Craig was right, you do hit like a bitch!
One hour Later......
C.R.A.P Enterprises
Craig: Kid, that was incredible! That was some of the best boxing technique I've ever seen! Six punches, perfectly placed, all with your eyes closed! And the best thing, you finally stood up to that punk.
James: Yeah, I know, I can't believe it took me 24 years to get over my fear of Ronnie. I can't wait to tell my mom about this, she won't believe what happened!
James: Speaking of....
James: Hey mom! I got something to tell---
Momma Chambers(On Phone): WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU BOY!? I GET A CALL FROM YOUR AUNT HELEN TELLING ME YOU DONE BROUGHT RONNIE OUT TO WASHINGTON JUST TO BEAT UP ON HIM? WHAT DID THAT POOR BOY DO TO YOU? AND WHO'S THIS CRAZY WHITE MAN YOU RUNNIN' AROUND WITH THAT'S PUTTIN YOU UP TO THIS FOOLISHNESS!? JIMMY, I RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THIS, YOU GON MAKE COME OUT THERE AND WHOOP YO.......
April 10, 2010 5:43 P.M
IWC Arena, Long Island New York
Here we go again, T-Minus three hours and some change away from the last show from the IWC arena. Funny thing is, if you would have told me a few months back that this merger was going to happen, I would have been the first one out of the door. I hated the IWC Arena and its fans because I considered them a bunch of mindless Trevor Blackwell worshipping clones. But now, after earning their respect, I consider each and every one of these people family to me. With that said, it's time to move forward into the next phase of Asylum. We kicked in the door at Rasslemania by defeating Team APW, and now we're going to make Overdrive respect us. After that, Asylum will be the show everyone is talking about and will want to be a part of.But for right now, my focus is giving the IWC fans one last good show, to end things on a high note and to perhaps convert them into APW Asylum fans. What better way to do that than kicking Rico Casteel's teeth in? You see Rico, this victory tonight isn't just about me, it's about the fans. I worked hard to earn their respect and cheers, something you never received. So to you, of course, this is just another match in a filthy bingo hall. But for me? It's an opportunity to give back to them and say "thank you" one last time.
You've got it all figured out, don't you? In your mind you're already the World Heavyweight Champion, aren't you? Good, I want you to think you don't have anything to worry about, because it will be that much more gratifying when I knock you on your ass. I've been doing this long time, and I've seen hundreds of your kind. Just like you, they were big guys, very physically imposing, and very gifted. It was their time, too. They were going to expose me as a fraud, because it was "their destiny" to beat me and become king. But you know what happened?
When it came down to it, all that talk turned out to be hot air, because once we got in the ring and I got my hands on them, the gameplans went out the window, and they went into survival. The moral of that story is, everyone has a strategy until they start to bleed, and then they just want it to be over. While I've faced and soundly defeated all the Rico Casteels that have challenged me, how many of me have you seen?
I know the answer, none.
Because while the Rico Casteels of the world come a dime a dozen, there is only one James Chambers, battle tested and built to stand the test of time. And I am certain that you have absolutely no idea the mountain of shit that's going to come down on your head in the next few weeks. I have renewed focus, god help the poor schlub that tries to interfere with my aspirations.
You keep saying I'm afraid of you, and normally hearing some shit like that would piss me off, but you know what? Fuck it. Keep telling yourself that big man. I'm glad you think everything is in the bag, because at the end of the day, you're going to be the one laid out in the ring, looking up at the lights and wishing you hadn't jumped the gun so quickly with your assumptions. So keep thinking that I fear you. But I promise, when I finally do get the opportunity to lay hands on you, and you're up against the ropes, fading in and out of consciousness and looking back on your life and career, we'll see whose fear begins to set in.
You keep holding our first encounter over my head like that's supposed to rattle me or something. Sure, you put on a career defining performance, but what you don't realize is that I'm already ten times better than I was before, and if you think that's the James Chambers you're going to get tonight, then you've already lost. I'm going to beat you tonight and put on a show, and whenever we do have our match, I'm going to be even better, and I'm going to keep one-upping myself with each performance until Rico Casteel has officially been eliminated from the title picture.
It's really too bad for you, Rico. You should have beaten me when you had the chance because now you'll never get the opportunity again. From here on out, in every encounter we have leading up to the final showdown, I will be victorious. No matter how good you are, I will simply be better. It won't be easy, and it might even be dangerous, but in the end, it will be me, one of the most dominant champion of the IWC era conquering new territory in APW.
Watch my words come to life tonight.
Brave Legion MMA
Vancouver, Washington
Picking up where we left off in the Brave Legion MMA Gym, we find our supposed APW World Heavyweight Champion cowering in the corner of the ring. He clutches the ring ropes for dear life, as Cousin Ronnie toys with him from afar. Every time James tries to make a play for either side of the ring to crawl through the ropes, Ronnie is there. Ronnie is the Lion, and James is the Gazelle. A Gazelle covered in Ketchup, which coincidentally happens to be Ronnie's favorite condiment. Craig T. Nelson looks on with disgust from the outside.
Craig: Jimmy, you have to do something now! Like we practiced, go!
James reluctantly charges half-speed at Ronnie. He swings lazily, half committing on a left hook. Ronnie easily sidesteps it, and counters with a swift three punch combination, dropping James like a sack of potatoes. Lying on his back and bordering consciousness, James begins to stare through the ceiling, into the sky, and into space as the universe begins to spin...faster...faster...faster......
......
.......
.......
DREAM SEQUENCE COMMENCE!
"Hey fool! Wake up, it's me!"
James groggily rubs his eyes, and slowly climbs to his feet. Looking around, He realizes that he is in limbo, all of his surroundings a faceless white.
"Hey, Sucka! I know you hear me!"
James looks up into the stars night sky, the only detailed feature in this endless space, and sees...
.....
.....
.....
"Mr. T!?"
That's right. The hulking, gold jewelry clad phenom who taught us all to respect our mommas and god. He's the original B.A Barakus, not some pea-brained MMA fighter who can't act his way out of a paper bag. He is also a card carrying member of the National Badass society, whose members include Chuck Norris, The aforementioned Craig T. Nelson, Samuel L. Jackson, The Russian from Rocky 4 (Brigitte Nielsen), John Stamos, and Kathleen Turner.
"Who do it look like? I ain't Florence Henderson!"
"Am I dead?"
"Nah you ain't dead! But if you don't do somethin' quick, this crazy fool is gonna beat you badly enough that you'll lose the respect of your peers, and once you lose your respect, you might as well be dead!"
"That's rather harsh. Chris Rock made Pootie Tang, but everyone stills likes him."
"But you're not Chris Rock, are you!? You not skinny or funny! You're barely black. You're like the Wayne Brady of Pro-Wrestling!"
"I take offense to that! I've got wayyy to much rhythm to---"
"HEY! Focus! We can sit here arguing all night about your blackness, or lack thereof, but the situation right now requires immediate action. You have to stand up to this fool and put a stop to this, once and for all!"
"You're right! But what can I do?! Every time I try to stand up to him, I flash back to '86 when he was stomping my ass like I was on fire!"
"That's good! When you flash back, you have to visualize yourself whoopin' his ass, and not the other way around. Once you do that, you can overcome the mental block he has on you. Also, it helps if you imagine a song you really, really like playing in the background the whole time. My song is "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia!"
"Thank you Mr. T! I'll do that! How will I ever repay you?"
"By not passing me over in favor of Gary Busey for next year's Rasslemania, fool!"
WHOOSH!
An icy blast of ice water knocks James out of his stupor. He's seated upright in the corner, being tended to by Craig.
......
.......
.......
DREAM SEQUENCE COMMENCE!
"Hey fool! Wake up, it's me!"
James groggily rubs his eyes, and slowly climbs to his feet. Looking around, He realizes that he is in limbo, all of his surroundings a faceless white.
"Hey, Sucka! I know you hear me!"
James looks up into the stars night sky, the only detailed feature in this endless space, and sees...
.....
.....
.....
"Mr. T!?"
That's right. The hulking, gold jewelry clad phenom who taught us all to respect our mommas and god. He's the original B.A Barakus, not some pea-brained MMA fighter who can't act his way out of a paper bag. He is also a card carrying member of the National Badass society, whose members include Chuck Norris, The aforementioned Craig T. Nelson, Samuel L. Jackson, The Russian from Rocky 4 (Brigitte Nielsen), John Stamos, and Kathleen Turner.
"Who do it look like? I ain't Florence Henderson!"
"Am I dead?"
"Nah you ain't dead! But if you don't do somethin' quick, this crazy fool is gonna beat you badly enough that you'll lose the respect of your peers, and once you lose your respect, you might as well be dead!"
"That's rather harsh. Chris Rock made Pootie Tang, but everyone stills likes him."
"But you're not Chris Rock, are you!? You not skinny or funny! You're barely black. You're like the Wayne Brady of Pro-Wrestling!"
"I take offense to that! I've got wayyy to much rhythm to---"
"HEY! Focus! We can sit here arguing all night about your blackness, or lack thereof, but the situation right now requires immediate action. You have to stand up to this fool and put a stop to this, once and for all!"
"You're right! But what can I do?! Every time I try to stand up to him, I flash back to '86 when he was stomping my ass like I was on fire!"
"That's good! When you flash back, you have to visualize yourself whoopin' his ass, and not the other way around. Once you do that, you can overcome the mental block he has on you. Also, it helps if you imagine a song you really, really like playing in the background the whole time. My song is "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia!"
"Thank you Mr. T! I'll do that! How will I ever repay you?"
"By not passing me over in favor of Gary Busey for next year's Rasslemania, fool!"
WHOOSH!
An icy blast of ice water knocks James out of his stupor. He's seated upright in the corner, being tended to by Craig.
James: What happened?
Craig: It's over, kid. You failed your first lesson.
James: Oh no, I didn't! Yo, Ronnie!
James rises and shoves Craig off of him. Ronnie spins on his heel.
James: Craig was right, you do hit like a bitch!
Ronnie's eyes light up with rage, and he begins running toward James, with his fists outstretched. James closes his eyes tightly, and begins to recall the days of abuse on his Grandparent's farm. "Lovefool" by the Cardigans is all that is heard....
Dear, I fear we're facing a problem
you love me no longer, I know
and maybe there is nothing
that I can do to make you do
Mama tells me I shouldn't bother
that I ought just stick to another man
a man that surely deserves me
but I think you do.....
Suddenly, Ronnie charges at James not as a 38 year old hardened criminal, but as an insecure 13 year old boy jealous of James because he had a father......
So I cry, and I pray and I beg....
James himself morphs from a 35 year old Professional Wrestling Champion to a skinny, horrified 11 year old kid with inch-thick bifocals....
Love me, love me
say that you love me
Young Ronnie stops in his tracks. With his right hand cocked, he swings.....
fool me, fool me
go on and fool me
But James ducks it! The blow misses him by a mile, and before teenage Ronnie can reset to throw another haymaker, James counters with six technically perfect counter punches, all landing on Ronnie's chin. His eyes roll back in his head, his limbs stiffen up, and he's out before he hits the ground.
I can't care about anything but you.....
And then....
James opens his eyes.
We're back in the present, as James finds himself standing triumphantly over Ronnie, who is resting peacefully on the canvas. An overjoyed Craig T. Nelson leaps in the ring to congratulate James as the gym staff tends to Ronnie.
Dear, I fear we're facing a problem
you love me no longer, I know
and maybe there is nothing
that I can do to make you do
Mama tells me I shouldn't bother
that I ought just stick to another man
a man that surely deserves me
but I think you do.....
Suddenly, Ronnie charges at James not as a 38 year old hardened criminal, but as an insecure 13 year old boy jealous of James because he had a father......
So I cry, and I pray and I beg....
James himself morphs from a 35 year old Professional Wrestling Champion to a skinny, horrified 11 year old kid with inch-thick bifocals....
Love me, love me
say that you love me
Young Ronnie stops in his tracks. With his right hand cocked, he swings.....
fool me, fool me
go on and fool me
But James ducks it! The blow misses him by a mile, and before teenage Ronnie can reset to throw another haymaker, James counters with six technically perfect counter punches, all landing on Ronnie's chin. His eyes roll back in his head, his limbs stiffen up, and he's out before he hits the ground.
I can't care about anything but you.....
And then....
James opens his eyes.
We're back in the present, as James finds himself standing triumphantly over Ronnie, who is resting peacefully on the canvas. An overjoyed Craig T. Nelson leaps in the ring to congratulate James as the gym staff tends to Ronnie.
One hour Later......
C.R.A.P Enterprises
We find Craig and James celebrating in James's Office, smoking cigars and drinking champagne.
Craig: Kid, that was incredible! That was some of the best boxing technique I've ever seen! Six punches, perfectly placed, all with your eyes closed! And the best thing, you finally stood up to that punk.
James: Yeah, I know, I can't believe it took me 24 years to get over my fear of Ronnie. I can't wait to tell my mom about this, she won't believe what happened!
As James says this, his phone rings.
James: Speaking of....
He answers, putting it on speakerphone....
James: Hey mom! I got something to tell---
Momma Chambers(On Phone): WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU BOY!? I GET A CALL FROM YOUR AUNT HELEN TELLING ME YOU DONE BROUGHT RONNIE OUT TO WASHINGTON JUST TO BEAT UP ON HIM? WHAT DID THAT POOR BOY DO TO YOU? AND WHO'S THIS CRAZY WHITE MAN YOU RUNNIN' AROUND WITH THAT'S PUTTIN YOU UP TO THIS FOOLISHNESS!? JIMMY, I RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THIS, YOU GON MAKE COME OUT THERE AND WHOOP YO.......
Oh, well. This 'sode ends with Jimmy getting an earful from his mother, but at least he got his revenge, and all is well in the land of Chambers. Until next time, folks!
April 10, 2010 5:43 P.M
IWC Arena, Long Island New York
Here we go again, T-Minus three hours and some change away from the last show from the IWC arena. Funny thing is, if you would have told me a few months back that this merger was going to happen, I would have been the first one out of the door. I hated the IWC Arena and its fans because I considered them a bunch of mindless Trevor Blackwell worshipping clones. But now, after earning their respect, I consider each and every one of these people family to me. With that said, it's time to move forward into the next phase of Asylum. We kicked in the door at Rasslemania by defeating Team APW, and now we're going to make Overdrive respect us. After that, Asylum will be the show everyone is talking about and will want to be a part of.But for right now, my focus is giving the IWC fans one last good show, to end things on a high note and to perhaps convert them into APW Asylum fans. What better way to do that than kicking Rico Casteel's teeth in? You see Rico, this victory tonight isn't just about me, it's about the fans. I worked hard to earn their respect and cheers, something you never received. So to you, of course, this is just another match in a filthy bingo hall. But for me? It's an opportunity to give back to them and say "thank you" one last time.
You've got it all figured out, don't you? In your mind you're already the World Heavyweight Champion, aren't you? Good, I want you to think you don't have anything to worry about, because it will be that much more gratifying when I knock you on your ass. I've been doing this long time, and I've seen hundreds of your kind. Just like you, they were big guys, very physically imposing, and very gifted. It was their time, too. They were going to expose me as a fraud, because it was "their destiny" to beat me and become king. But you know what happened?
When it came down to it, all that talk turned out to be hot air, because once we got in the ring and I got my hands on them, the gameplans went out the window, and they went into survival. The moral of that story is, everyone has a strategy until they start to bleed, and then they just want it to be over. While I've faced and soundly defeated all the Rico Casteels that have challenged me, how many of me have you seen?
I know the answer, none.
Because while the Rico Casteels of the world come a dime a dozen, there is only one James Chambers, battle tested and built to stand the test of time. And I am certain that you have absolutely no idea the mountain of shit that's going to come down on your head in the next few weeks. I have renewed focus, god help the poor schlub that tries to interfere with my aspirations.
You keep saying I'm afraid of you, and normally hearing some shit like that would piss me off, but you know what? Fuck it. Keep telling yourself that big man. I'm glad you think everything is in the bag, because at the end of the day, you're going to be the one laid out in the ring, looking up at the lights and wishing you hadn't jumped the gun so quickly with your assumptions. So keep thinking that I fear you. But I promise, when I finally do get the opportunity to lay hands on you, and you're up against the ropes, fading in and out of consciousness and looking back on your life and career, we'll see whose fear begins to set in.
You keep holding our first encounter over my head like that's supposed to rattle me or something. Sure, you put on a career defining performance, but what you don't realize is that I'm already ten times better than I was before, and if you think that's the James Chambers you're going to get tonight, then you've already lost. I'm going to beat you tonight and put on a show, and whenever we do have our match, I'm going to be even better, and I'm going to keep one-upping myself with each performance until Rico Casteel has officially been eliminated from the title picture.
It's really too bad for you, Rico. You should have beaten me when you had the chance because now you'll never get the opportunity again. From here on out, in every encounter we have leading up to the final showdown, I will be victorious. No matter how good you are, I will simply be better. It won't be easy, and it might even be dangerous, but in the end, it will be me, one of the most dominant champion of the IWC era conquering new territory in APW.
Watch my words come to life tonight.
