Post by JD Storm on Apr 18, 2011 0:21:04 GMT -4
Scene opens in front of the Boston Garden’s main entrance. It’s early morning. The sun is just starting to peak above the horizon. The only noticeable people on the property is a few staff members cleaning up the parking lot with street sweepers. “Superstar” Bobby Bodacious is leaning casually against a wall just a couple feet from the main entrance, looking a bit annoyed.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Are you holding that camera straight, man? I don’t want this to look bad when it airs.
From behind the camera, Gambler can be heard talking.
Gambler
Of course I’ve got everything right. I’m a drunk, not an idiot.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
I think you’re still drunk from last night. I should’ve hired Supersonic to do this.
Gambler
Right. He’s too busy getting his ass handed to him by street thugs, hobos and his wife. Dude’s not living right, man. Charlie Sheen saw him in action, recently. Said something about having pity on Branden.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Um, anyway…..let’s get the show on the road. The sooner we get done, the sooner we can party like rock stars from Mars.
Bodacious takes a moment to clear his throat and take a deep breath.
We ready? Good.
Ladies. Gentlemen. Asylum fans. Are you tired of the same old garbage on TV every week? Tired of promoters putting on wrestling shows and try to pass them off as “entertainments”? Are you sick of seeing promoters repeat the same failed ideas of days long gone? Look no further then APW’s newest brand, Asylum. Formerly the bastard child known as IWC, Asylum promises to bring you excitement on a weekly basis. The excitement is brought to you largely because of two people, the greatest unrecognized wrestlers in Asylum history…..The “Superstar” Bobby Bodacious and the man behind the camera, The Gambler.
Gambler
Howdy, ya’ll.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Standing proudly behind me is one of the most memorable buildings on the eastern seaboard, The Boston Garden. Not as great as Madison Square Garden, L.A. Memorial Sports Arena or even the VFW in Valley City, ND. But, it still works great for some great memories. It’ll have some great memories coming up on April 24th. The most notable memory will be me kicking the snot out of “Supersonic” Branden Harvey. Boston could use some good memories, from time to time. Far too often, Boston has had nothing but failure after failure from their sports teams. The Boston Bruins. The Celtics. The Patriots. The Red Sox. The last Stanley Cup for the Bruins was in the 71-72 season. The Celtics? 2008 was the first time they came out on top in 12 years. The Patriots? More like the Pathetics. There three Super Bowl Championships are questionable, at best. Lastly, we have the Red Sox. It only took them 86 years to break the greatest sports curse ever.
Now, you’re all probably wondering how this is relevant to Asylum, myself or even my idiot opponent, Branden Harvey? Simple, really. Like the Boston area teams I mentioned, Branden has a bit of a reputation for losing. He’ll have streaks where he’s really hot and kicking everyone’s backside. Then, virtually out of nowhere, he’ll go through streaks where he gets his ass kicked by everybody, including the neighborhood cripple. By the looks of it, everybody seems to be getting their turns at beating you up Branden.
Why is that, anyway? What are you doing that’s causing everyone to diss you so much? Bigger question is what you’re NOT doing. You know what that is?
Gambler
(From behind the camera.)
WINNING!
He needs some tiger blood.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
You’re tired of being a sad, little troll, right? Aren’t you sick of being the armpit of life? Well, aren’t you?
Sunday, you’re going to need a lot more then Adonis’ DNA to beat this Superstar. Not even a Vatican Assassin can stop me from crushing you. Nothing short of a miracle will help you to win. Even your own woman doesn’t think you can pull it off. For me, defeat is not an option. I lose to you and I might as well end my career, once and for all. Nothing worse then losing to Asylum’s punching bag. Don’t believe me? Just look at the scoreboard. The scoreboard doesn’t lie. You’ve been beat worse then an egg. That beating will continue by my hands.
When I’m done doing that, I’ll head to the Sober Valley Lodge. I’ll pick Gambler up for our usual road trip to Asylum. At the next Asylum, after I’m finished kicking Branden’s ass, I’ll follow things up by challenging either member of the Beautiful Disaster to a match. You’ll see how a true rock star parties. You’ll find out that I’m the one and only Wrestling Superstar. The Beautiful Disasters won’t look so beautiful as their reign as Champion ends in complete and utter disaster. I’ll go so far as saying that your reign has something in common with Japan. What an earthquake or tsunami doesn’t destroy will be finished by a Chernobyl-sized meltdown.
Branden, however, won’t quite fizzle out with such a bang. He won’t even get a Supersonic boom. It’ll be more like a sparkler. Nobody will notice, let alone give a crap. They’ll be too busy paying attention to me, simply because I’ll be winning.
Gambler
(from behind the camera)
DUH, WINNING!
Gambler tosses a pair of sunglasses to Bodacious, who promptly puts them on. Bodacious walks towards the camera that Gambler’s carrying, which turns around long enough to see the sun rising in the background. Scene fades as Gambler screams “Winning” a couple more times.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Are you holding that camera straight, man? I don’t want this to look bad when it airs.
From behind the camera, Gambler can be heard talking.
Gambler
Of course I’ve got everything right. I’m a drunk, not an idiot.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
I think you’re still drunk from last night. I should’ve hired Supersonic to do this.
Gambler
Right. He’s too busy getting his ass handed to him by street thugs, hobos and his wife. Dude’s not living right, man. Charlie Sheen saw him in action, recently. Said something about having pity on Branden.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Um, anyway…..let’s get the show on the road. The sooner we get done, the sooner we can party like rock stars from Mars.
Bodacious takes a moment to clear his throat and take a deep breath.
We ready? Good.
Ladies. Gentlemen. Asylum fans. Are you tired of the same old garbage on TV every week? Tired of promoters putting on wrestling shows and try to pass them off as “entertainments”? Are you sick of seeing promoters repeat the same failed ideas of days long gone? Look no further then APW’s newest brand, Asylum. Formerly the bastard child known as IWC, Asylum promises to bring you excitement on a weekly basis. The excitement is brought to you largely because of two people, the greatest unrecognized wrestlers in Asylum history…..The “Superstar” Bobby Bodacious and the man behind the camera, The Gambler.
Gambler
Howdy, ya’ll.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Standing proudly behind me is one of the most memorable buildings on the eastern seaboard, The Boston Garden. Not as great as Madison Square Garden, L.A. Memorial Sports Arena or even the VFW in Valley City, ND. But, it still works great for some great memories. It’ll have some great memories coming up on April 24th. The most notable memory will be me kicking the snot out of “Supersonic” Branden Harvey. Boston could use some good memories, from time to time. Far too often, Boston has had nothing but failure after failure from their sports teams. The Boston Bruins. The Celtics. The Patriots. The Red Sox. The last Stanley Cup for the Bruins was in the 71-72 season. The Celtics? 2008 was the first time they came out on top in 12 years. The Patriots? More like the Pathetics. There three Super Bowl Championships are questionable, at best. Lastly, we have the Red Sox. It only took them 86 years to break the greatest sports curse ever.
Now, you’re all probably wondering how this is relevant to Asylum, myself or even my idiot opponent, Branden Harvey? Simple, really. Like the Boston area teams I mentioned, Branden has a bit of a reputation for losing. He’ll have streaks where he’s really hot and kicking everyone’s backside. Then, virtually out of nowhere, he’ll go through streaks where he gets his ass kicked by everybody, including the neighborhood cripple. By the looks of it, everybody seems to be getting their turns at beating you up Branden.
Why is that, anyway? What are you doing that’s causing everyone to diss you so much? Bigger question is what you’re NOT doing. You know what that is?
Gambler
(From behind the camera.)
WINNING!
He needs some tiger blood.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
You’re tired of being a sad, little troll, right? Aren’t you sick of being the armpit of life? Well, aren’t you?
Sunday, you’re going to need a lot more then Adonis’ DNA to beat this Superstar. Not even a Vatican Assassin can stop me from crushing you. Nothing short of a miracle will help you to win. Even your own woman doesn’t think you can pull it off. For me, defeat is not an option. I lose to you and I might as well end my career, once and for all. Nothing worse then losing to Asylum’s punching bag. Don’t believe me? Just look at the scoreboard. The scoreboard doesn’t lie. You’ve been beat worse then an egg. That beating will continue by my hands.
When I’m done doing that, I’ll head to the Sober Valley Lodge. I’ll pick Gambler up for our usual road trip to Asylum. At the next Asylum, after I’m finished kicking Branden’s ass, I’ll follow things up by challenging either member of the Beautiful Disaster to a match. You’ll see how a true rock star parties. You’ll find out that I’m the one and only Wrestling Superstar. The Beautiful Disasters won’t look so beautiful as their reign as Champion ends in complete and utter disaster. I’ll go so far as saying that your reign has something in common with Japan. What an earthquake or tsunami doesn’t destroy will be finished by a Chernobyl-sized meltdown.
Branden, however, won’t quite fizzle out with such a bang. He won’t even get a Supersonic boom. It’ll be more like a sparkler. Nobody will notice, let alone give a crap. They’ll be too busy paying attention to me, simply because I’ll be winning.
Gambler
(from behind the camera)
DUH, WINNING!
Gambler tosses a pair of sunglasses to Bodacious, who promptly puts them on. Bodacious walks towards the camera that Gambler’s carrying, which turns around long enough to see the sun rising in the background. Scene fades as Gambler screams “Winning” a couple more times.
