Post by brandenharvey on May 8, 2011 13:55:08 GMT -4
["Supersonic" Branden Harvey has not been a happy man as of late. He's on a losing streak. He has a bad habit of losing matches at crucial moments. It doesn't look like he will ever win a title again. But his spirits are high today. Today, he is in a very good mood.
Because today, his first DVD comes out.]
[The APW logo is hanging on the wall of a small room. Cameras are staring at the logo. The camera turns over to the door of the room. "Supersonic" Branden Harvey walks through it. He's wearing a suit and tie. He walks in front of the logo. The camera zooms in.]
Harvey: I'm sorry if I look uncomfortable. That's because I am. I hate these damn suits. But anyway, I'm glad you could watch the show tonight on APW.com. I'm glad you could join me as I make a new venture with my new DVD, Supersonic For Life: The Branden Harvey Story.
[Branden Harvey takes the DVD out of his pants. It seems it would've been in an uncomfortable position there but Harvey seemed to like it.]
Harvey: I'm not taking questions today. That's because I'm online and my e-mail is broken. But I will talk about this DVD and what will be on future DVDs of me. But I did bring one fan with me. I found him eating out of the garbage can outside.
Harvey: What's your name?
Fan: I Forget.
Harvey: Welcome to APW.com, Mr. Forget. Hold this up for my fans on the world wide web.
[Harvey hands I Forget his new DVD. Forget starts looking at it.]
Harvey: Hold it up to the camera, my friend. Jesse Nunez, eat your heart out. This DVD has every match I've ever won. It's a one disc set. It has about ten matches on it. I suggest you buy it. It's only 0.01. Why so cheap? I asked President Jeff and he said, and I quote, "Because that's all anybody would spend on Branden Harvey."
Forget: Can I go eat now?
Harvey: Yeah. The food I promised you is on the table over there.
Harvey: This is where all my hard work pays off. I main evented Overdrive 100. That match isn't on here. But only because I lost. I've had such spectacular matches in APW. Of course, most of them aren't on here because I lost them. But that's okay. The cream of the crop is here. But now on to what's going to be on my next DVD.
[Harvey pulls a poster of the Asylum card out. He points to one of the undercard matches. It says, "Branden Harvey vs. Nathaniel Broadway."]
Harvey: The last time I was on APW.com, I hardly knew who Nathaniel Broadway was. But now? I've checked him out since then and I know a little more. Nathaniel Broadway is an idiot. He signs a contract and doesn't even talk about his match after that. He seems to have disappeared off the face of the planet. Nathaniel Broadway is a terrible wrestler that is about to get the biggest upset of his career.
[Harvey's pants come down. He looks embarrassed and pulls them up. He's red in the face as he continues to talk.]
Harvey: I guess it's a good thing I wore underwear today. I usually don't. Can that be edited out of the final result? We're on live? Damn. Anyway, Broadway can try and trey and try but it won't matter. He'll be outclassed. He'll be outpreformed. He'll be outran. I'm Supersonic, after all.
[Harvey bows.]
Harvey: I'm the best of the best of the best, Broadway. Don't let the fact that I've only won about ten matches in my career fool you. I'm certainly better than you.
[Harvey unbows.]
Harvey: Before I get too repetitive, I need to wrap this up. If you bring your best, you still won't be able to beat me. My best will always be just a little bit better than yours. But you want my guess? My guess is you won't bring your best. You'll just be beat quickly and decisively.
[Harvey turns around to walk away.]
Harvey: Buy my DVD. It'll prepare you for this match. The sound barrier will be broken.
[Harvey leaves the room followed by Lisa as the scene fades.]
Because today, his first DVD comes out.]
--------------------------
[The APW logo is hanging on the wall of a small room. Cameras are staring at the logo. The camera turns over to the door of the room. "Supersonic" Branden Harvey walks through it. He's wearing a suit and tie. He walks in front of the logo. The camera zooms in.]
Harvey: I'm sorry if I look uncomfortable. That's because I am. I hate these damn suits. But anyway, I'm glad you could watch the show tonight on APW.com. I'm glad you could join me as I make a new venture with my new DVD, Supersonic For Life: The Branden Harvey Story.
[Branden Harvey takes the DVD out of his pants. It seems it would've been in an uncomfortable position there but Harvey seemed to like it.]
Harvey: I'm not taking questions today. That's because I'm online and my e-mail is broken. But I will talk about this DVD and what will be on future DVDs of me. But I did bring one fan with me. I found him eating out of the garbage can outside.
Harvey: What's your name?
Fan: I Forget.
Harvey: Welcome to APW.com, Mr. Forget. Hold this up for my fans on the world wide web.
[Harvey hands I Forget his new DVD. Forget starts looking at it.]
Harvey: Hold it up to the camera, my friend. Jesse Nunez, eat your heart out. This DVD has every match I've ever won. It's a one disc set. It has about ten matches on it. I suggest you buy it. It's only 0.01. Why so cheap? I asked President Jeff and he said, and I quote, "Because that's all anybody would spend on Branden Harvey."
Forget: Can I go eat now?
Harvey: Yeah. The food I promised you is on the table over there.
Harvey: This is where all my hard work pays off. I main evented Overdrive 100. That match isn't on here. But only because I lost. I've had such spectacular matches in APW. Of course, most of them aren't on here because I lost them. But that's okay. The cream of the crop is here. But now on to what's going to be on my next DVD.
[Harvey pulls a poster of the Asylum card out. He points to one of the undercard matches. It says, "Branden Harvey vs. Nathaniel Broadway."]
Harvey: The last time I was on APW.com, I hardly knew who Nathaniel Broadway was. But now? I've checked him out since then and I know a little more. Nathaniel Broadway is an idiot. He signs a contract and doesn't even talk about his match after that. He seems to have disappeared off the face of the planet. Nathaniel Broadway is a terrible wrestler that is about to get the biggest upset of his career.
[Harvey's pants come down. He looks embarrassed and pulls them up. He's red in the face as he continues to talk.]
Harvey: I guess it's a good thing I wore underwear today. I usually don't. Can that be edited out of the final result? We're on live? Damn. Anyway, Broadway can try and trey and try but it won't matter. He'll be outclassed. He'll be outpreformed. He'll be outran. I'm Supersonic, after all.
[Harvey bows.]
Harvey: I'm the best of the best of the best, Broadway. Don't let the fact that I've only won about ten matches in my career fool you. I'm certainly better than you.
[Harvey unbows.]
Harvey: Before I get too repetitive, I need to wrap this up. If you bring your best, you still won't be able to beat me. My best will always be just a little bit better than yours. But you want my guess? My guess is you won't bring your best. You'll just be beat quickly and decisively.
[Harvey turns around to walk away.]
Harvey: Buy my DVD. It'll prepare you for this match. The sound barrier will be broken.
[Harvey leaves the room followed by Lisa as the scene fades.]
