Post by JD Storm on May 20, 2011 23:26:07 GMT -4
Scene opens next to a poker table in a dimly lit room. A hand is shown playing with a stack of poker chips. Some cigar smoke is blown towards the chips, making it difficult to see anything. Slowly, the camera moves back. As the camera does so, it moves from it’s position until getting a good look of the Gambler. Gambler is leisurely sitting at the dealer’s chair of the poker table, puffing on a huge cigar and playing with several poker chips.
Gambler
(chuckling)
Gotta love the organized mayhem of an APW show, don’t ya? The chaos. Never knowing from minute to minute what’s going to happen. The “organized violence”. Best part is messing with everyone else’s head. God, I love messing with people. Some days, I think I enjoy it a little bit too much. Messing with the stoner’s is the best part. Drives them nuts when you ignore them. I think it’s got something to do with their ego or something. Can’t stand it when they are given the credit that they believe they deserve.
Could’ve been so much worse then a lack of acknowledgement. I could’ve did my best Cheech & Chong impressions. Lousy impressions, I must admit. Damn near went with them anyway. They were the only stoners anyone would actually pay good money to see, even after all these years. Not like certain “extreme” wrestlers from our past, or some “bad influences” from our present.
Jason Kash did manage to get me thinking about a few things. I think he really does need a bit more attention. In reality, I should focus a little bit more attention on him. Don’t want to give him too much time, though. Dopers don’t have much of an attention span, so you really want to keep it short and sweet. I could mention that his brain has got to look a lot like my liver….half dead! From what I’ve heard, it’s functioning about as well as my liver.
Kash’s liver will probably look a lot like mine, by the time we leave Darwin. Heard about the partying that he’s been doing, the last few days. Amazing what happens you simply refuse to acknowledge someone’s “greatness”. Doesn’t matter if that greatness is something they’ve actually earned or if it’s all made up. The mere fact that any megastar completely shrugs it off…..brilliant way of pissing them off, in a hurry.
If he keeps drinking as much as I’ve been hearing, Kash may not even make it to Mayhem. The local sports authority isn’t likely to allow anyone wrestle piss-drunk like that. *Thinks about statement* What am I saying? I’ve wrestled drunk. I think I’ve wrestled while having black-outs. Yeah, they’ll allow Kash to wrestle. Fine with me.
I could out-wrestle his stoned ass. Doesn’t matter how stone cold sober he is. I can and will out-wrestle him. Interesting side bet I want to make with you, Kash. I hear you were bragging about beating me, while you’re stoned. I think I could out-wrestle you while I’m completely shitface drunk. My bet is simple. You get as high as you can, before our next match. I’ll be on one hell of a bender. Each of us get to name a stipulation, in case we win. I could choose to make you my personal bitch, as an example. Perhaps I could ban you from enjoying dope for a couple of months.
Won’t matter what I make you sacrifice, now or in the future. When we face off, you’re going to Hurt. You’ll be letting everyone down by even participating in the match. I’ll claim your empire of dirt. Won’t have to worry about God striking you down. I’ll have the privilege of doing the job myself. Won’t have to “sneak” a victory past you or any of the rejects in the match. With Lady Luck on my side, I can guarantee that this highwayman will roll out of Darwin as the new Tap Out Champion.
Jason, as much as I’d like to sooth your ego, I think I’ve done enough of that. I never should’ve given you this much time. You know as well as I do that you simply aren’t worth the time or effort. Time is money and, quite simply, I’m loosing too much of both even thinking of you.
There’s only one thing I’m concerned about…..championship gold. I know there’s a former champion in the match. I need to beat a dead horse here, Madok. You aren’t worthy of being in this match.
Besides being the former Tap Out champ, you bring nothing to the match. Not sure how you worked yourself in the match. Honestly, I don’t care how you pulled it off. Just being in the match is a huge waste of your time, as well as everyone else’s. You were lucky to beat me, during our past encounters. Each time, you narrowly beat the odds. Not this time. Between me and the rest of our competitors, there’s no way you’ll make it through the match. Odds are too great against you. The mere fact that you can’t, or won’t, focus all your energy…all your efforts….to bashing in skulls only takes away from your odds of winning.
You want to be more then a one hit wonder around here? Takes far more effort then the half assed effort you’re giving. Want to be World Champion, some day? What the hell…..everyone’s got to have a pipe dream. I’ll let you have this dream. Who knows. Maybe you’ll get lucky. I’ve seen stranger things happen.
Rachel Cole. Honestly, from what little I know of you, I’d be surprised if you lasted more then five minutes in the match. I’ve faced my share of female competitors during my career. Only a select few of them had any real talent in them. Only a small group of them rightfully belonged in a wrestling ring with the big boys. You aren’t one of them. You’ve done absolutely nothing to earn my respect, or anyone else’s. Unless you can pull off a miracle of epic proportions, you won’t be earning any respect here in the APW.
Go pretty yourself up. Get some glitter. Play with your My Little Pony Dolls. Do whatever little girls do these days. Listen to some Bieber CD’s. Have a slumber party. Leave the real work for the men…..if you can dare call the rest of my opponents men.
Then we’ve got the army of one…..Derek Wellings. AT-TEN-CHON! Derek, you’re nothing but a maggot! A puke! A slime! For shits & giggles, I’ve got two very special submission moves reserved, just for you. Which do you prefer: the cobra clutch or the camel clutch? Those are your choices. You’ll be tapping out to one or the other. Once I’ve made you tap, it’s back to basic training for you. The boot camp will be a great place to turn you into a man.
I think I’ve still got one more guy to talk shit about. TYYYYYYLLLLLLLER VAAAAUGHN……….wait for it…………VAUGHN! Seriously, you remind me of some generic piece of crap that I’ve seen on TV before. I wish I could remember what his name was, off-hand. Real loudmouth. Always said his last name twice. Untalented piece of white trash. Injured himself in the ring frequently.
Does it really matter what his name is? You are the poor man’s version of that moron. Loud, annoying and a bit on the obnoxious side. Nobody in APW is capable of having a good match with you. Name the best wrestler in the company and their matches turn to shit when facing you. Mr. Dangerous looks good next to you. Same with Branden Harvey. Both of them look like top notch talents compared to you. Thank God nobody invented smell-o-vision, yet. Our viewers would need to professionally clean their homes after one of your matches if we had smell-o-vision.
Ugh…..it’s going to take me weeks to get that smell out of my ring gear. Might have to burn it after Mayhem. At least I won enough money on the Rugby games to cover the costs of new gear. Speaking of which, I should really make some plans for after the match. It’s going to be a shorter match then everyone realizes.
Gambler picks up a few of the poker chips, tossing them at the camera, ending the scene.
Gambler
(chuckling)
Gotta love the organized mayhem of an APW show, don’t ya? The chaos. Never knowing from minute to minute what’s going to happen. The “organized violence”. Best part is messing with everyone else’s head. God, I love messing with people. Some days, I think I enjoy it a little bit too much. Messing with the stoner’s is the best part. Drives them nuts when you ignore them. I think it’s got something to do with their ego or something. Can’t stand it when they are given the credit that they believe they deserve.
Could’ve been so much worse then a lack of acknowledgement. I could’ve did my best Cheech & Chong impressions. Lousy impressions, I must admit. Damn near went with them anyway. They were the only stoners anyone would actually pay good money to see, even after all these years. Not like certain “extreme” wrestlers from our past, or some “bad influences” from our present.
Jason Kash did manage to get me thinking about a few things. I think he really does need a bit more attention. In reality, I should focus a little bit more attention on him. Don’t want to give him too much time, though. Dopers don’t have much of an attention span, so you really want to keep it short and sweet. I could mention that his brain has got to look a lot like my liver….half dead! From what I’ve heard, it’s functioning about as well as my liver.
Kash’s liver will probably look a lot like mine, by the time we leave Darwin. Heard about the partying that he’s been doing, the last few days. Amazing what happens you simply refuse to acknowledge someone’s “greatness”. Doesn’t matter if that greatness is something they’ve actually earned or if it’s all made up. The mere fact that any megastar completely shrugs it off…..brilliant way of pissing them off, in a hurry.
If he keeps drinking as much as I’ve been hearing, Kash may not even make it to Mayhem. The local sports authority isn’t likely to allow anyone wrestle piss-drunk like that. *Thinks about statement* What am I saying? I’ve wrestled drunk. I think I’ve wrestled while having black-outs. Yeah, they’ll allow Kash to wrestle. Fine with me.
I could out-wrestle his stoned ass. Doesn’t matter how stone cold sober he is. I can and will out-wrestle him. Interesting side bet I want to make with you, Kash. I hear you were bragging about beating me, while you’re stoned. I think I could out-wrestle you while I’m completely shitface drunk. My bet is simple. You get as high as you can, before our next match. I’ll be on one hell of a bender. Each of us get to name a stipulation, in case we win. I could choose to make you my personal bitch, as an example. Perhaps I could ban you from enjoying dope for a couple of months.
Won’t matter what I make you sacrifice, now or in the future. When we face off, you’re going to Hurt. You’ll be letting everyone down by even participating in the match. I’ll claim your empire of dirt. Won’t have to worry about God striking you down. I’ll have the privilege of doing the job myself. Won’t have to “sneak” a victory past you or any of the rejects in the match. With Lady Luck on my side, I can guarantee that this highwayman will roll out of Darwin as the new Tap Out Champion.
Jason, as much as I’d like to sooth your ego, I think I’ve done enough of that. I never should’ve given you this much time. You know as well as I do that you simply aren’t worth the time or effort. Time is money and, quite simply, I’m loosing too much of both even thinking of you.
There’s only one thing I’m concerned about…..championship gold. I know there’s a former champion in the match. I need to beat a dead horse here, Madok. You aren’t worthy of being in this match.
Besides being the former Tap Out champ, you bring nothing to the match. Not sure how you worked yourself in the match. Honestly, I don’t care how you pulled it off. Just being in the match is a huge waste of your time, as well as everyone else’s. You were lucky to beat me, during our past encounters. Each time, you narrowly beat the odds. Not this time. Between me and the rest of our competitors, there’s no way you’ll make it through the match. Odds are too great against you. The mere fact that you can’t, or won’t, focus all your energy…all your efforts….to bashing in skulls only takes away from your odds of winning.
You want to be more then a one hit wonder around here? Takes far more effort then the half assed effort you’re giving. Want to be World Champion, some day? What the hell…..everyone’s got to have a pipe dream. I’ll let you have this dream. Who knows. Maybe you’ll get lucky. I’ve seen stranger things happen.
Rachel Cole. Honestly, from what little I know of you, I’d be surprised if you lasted more then five minutes in the match. I’ve faced my share of female competitors during my career. Only a select few of them had any real talent in them. Only a small group of them rightfully belonged in a wrestling ring with the big boys. You aren’t one of them. You’ve done absolutely nothing to earn my respect, or anyone else’s. Unless you can pull off a miracle of epic proportions, you won’t be earning any respect here in the APW.
Go pretty yourself up. Get some glitter. Play with your My Little Pony Dolls. Do whatever little girls do these days. Listen to some Bieber CD’s. Have a slumber party. Leave the real work for the men…..if you can dare call the rest of my opponents men.
Then we’ve got the army of one…..Derek Wellings. AT-TEN-CHON! Derek, you’re nothing but a maggot! A puke! A slime! For shits & giggles, I’ve got two very special submission moves reserved, just for you. Which do you prefer: the cobra clutch or the camel clutch? Those are your choices. You’ll be tapping out to one or the other. Once I’ve made you tap, it’s back to basic training for you. The boot camp will be a great place to turn you into a man.
I think I’ve still got one more guy to talk shit about. TYYYYYYLLLLLLLER VAAAAUGHN……….wait for it…………VAUGHN! Seriously, you remind me of some generic piece of crap that I’ve seen on TV before. I wish I could remember what his name was, off-hand. Real loudmouth. Always said his last name twice. Untalented piece of white trash. Injured himself in the ring frequently.
Does it really matter what his name is? You are the poor man’s version of that moron. Loud, annoying and a bit on the obnoxious side. Nobody in APW is capable of having a good match with you. Name the best wrestler in the company and their matches turn to shit when facing you. Mr. Dangerous looks good next to you. Same with Branden Harvey. Both of them look like top notch talents compared to you. Thank God nobody invented smell-o-vision, yet. Our viewers would need to professionally clean their homes after one of your matches if we had smell-o-vision.
Ugh…..it’s going to take me weeks to get that smell out of my ring gear. Might have to burn it after Mayhem. At least I won enough money on the Rugby games to cover the costs of new gear. Speaking of which, I should really make some plans for after the match. It’s going to be a shorter match then everyone realizes.
Gambler picks up a few of the poker chips, tossing them at the camera, ending the scene.
