Post by JD Storm on Jun 30, 2011 23:57:17 GMT -4
Scene opens in an empty Metro Center in Halifax. The building is dimly lit, since there’s no real activity going on. After several moments, two shadowy figures are spotted sitting approximately halfway up the nose bleeds. The lights in that section start to go up slightly, just enough to get a decent look. Gambler, along with Bobby Bodacious, are sitting, staring at the arena floor. The camera angle moves, allowing for a frontal view of both men.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
You’re probably wondering why I’m here in Halifax, right now. After all, I don’t need to be here for another few days. Test for the Best isn’t for another few days. Probably wondering why Gambler’s even here, as he’s not even scheduled for the event.
Honestly, we’re just enjoying some down time. Gambler will be making his usual appearance in Texas on Saturday, just before joining me in Portland, Maine. Some of the action will be spilling over for us from Test for the Best. After all, the great fans of APW will want to here from the Test for the Best Champion, which will undoubtedly be me. They’ll want to see their Champion continue his winning ways by becoming one-half of the Tag Team Champions, alongside the incomparable Gambler. Gambler, a man that nearly became Asylum’s Tap Out Champion at Mayhem, back in May 22nd.
Unfortunately, the odds were simply stacked against him that night. July 5th at the Asylum Supershow will be a completely different story, not only for Gambler, but for myself as well. After numerous months of chasing after championship gold, unsuccessfully, The Gambling Superstars are walking out of Asylum as the two most important men on the roster. Not only will we have the Test for the Best under my belt, but we’ll have Tag Team gold.
Gambler
In years past, Bobby & I would never have done business with each other. Even in the same promotions, we never acknowledged each other. Simply no need or desire to interact. He had his high class friends while I’ve always had friends in low places. Since coming to APW, no matter what we did on our own, we didn’t see the success that we were used to. Even as the scum of the Earth, I was used to seeing good things happen to me, usually in my time table. I was always able to give a little leeway, just in case things took a slight bit longer then planned.
For reasons currently unknown to either one of us, we never pulled it off, not until we started getting paired up in random bookings. The more we got paired up, the more we saw that we were starting to change our luck. And change it did. Our matches started going in our favor. We started getting noticed by the fans, our fellow wrestlers, and even by management. More title shots came our way. Bobby’s now in the Test for the Best Tournament. We’ve got a triple threat Tag Team Title match for the vacant championships.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Speaking of our fellow wrestlers, I could go on about how we’ve been getting noticed more and more by all the scum that still hang around APW. Chris Cyrus, for example, has been notice Gambler frequently, as of late. Every time Cyrus turns around, he gets a knuckle sandwich shoved down his throat. It’s amazing that he hasn’t needed reconstructive surgery on his mouth, yet.
Other people that have been noticing us lately would be our opponents, the Red Shield Mafia and Organized Violence. Honestly, I don’t know which team I should be hating on first. Don’t really know which team I should hate more, come to think of it.
Gambler
Oh, I think I’d like to start on that, if you don’t mind.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Knock yourself out.
Gambler
For the hell of it, I’ll start with the Red Shield Mafia. They’ve been a lot like a hemorrhoid that just won’t go away. All the ointments, all the creams in the world won’t make them go away. Not even medical science can get rid of this hemorrhoid. Just like a bad hemorrhoid, Red Shield Mafia is going to need medical attention to take care of them when the match is over. With three teams, all hell will break loose. It’ll won’t be Organized Violence, by any means, but it’s sure have an insane amount of violence.
Considering that two of the three teams in this match are nothing but common street thugs, I half expect someone to pull a knife in this match. Knowing how Asylum works, I doubt the announcing crew will call it a “pair of scissors” either. Won’t blame them for calling this the greatest night in wrestling history, or even just calling this the best episode in Asylum history, until the next airing of Asylum airs.
Red Shield Mafia, you should really expect to be beaten to an inch of your pathetic little lives. No more low rent wrestling from either one of you. Best part of the night will probably come when Organized Violence does most of our dirty work for us, which would be fine with us if that happened.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
I’d personally be happy if that was the case. I still owe Borderland from Mayhem, a couple months back. You managed to steal my thunder during our dark match, getting the pin over our “other” opponent. You won’t be quite so fortunate this time around. At least your buddy, Jason Kash, has at least managed to get an actual pinfall on me……once. Remember that, Jason. You only pinned me once. As much as you love bragging about it, and believe me, I know you enjoy bragging about it, you were lucky to get that one pinfall on me.
Anyone can get lucky once in awhile. It happens to everyone. Some people just get lucky a bit more often then others. You’ve been hitting a lucky streak quite a bit, lately. If I have it my way, and you know I will, your lucky streak will end on Sunday, July the 3rd, here in Metro Center. Wouldn’t that be ironic, Jason? I first beat your ass in the Test for the Best tournament. Then, a few days later, I beat your ass again to win the Tag Team Championship. I have to ask if you could handle two straight defeats like that to me, or even to Gambler. What would happen if you lost back to back matches to us in two consecutive matches?
Gambler
You’ve been fortunate enough to gain a victory over us, only once each. Both times, you were lucky to walk out of the match on your own power. Vegas currently has you losing your winning streak by the end of Test for the Best at 2:1. They also have your losing streak continuing at Asylum at 3:1. Borderland, well, his young APW career will look just as pathetic as yours. Just a question of which one of you takes the fall. Maybe you’ll put the skids on your losing streak by ducking out of the match, leaving the Mafia high and dry.
The Mafia and Organized Violence, when I think of both teams, kind of remind me of a cheap, crappy remake of a Friday movie. Not that those movies were any good, by any stretch of the imagination. Take a look at any member of these two teams. You can find a nearly identical twin in one of those crappy movies. I’ll probably end up half baked in this match.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Half Baked? Now I know where I’ve seen J.R. Kingston before. I think he was Cuban B.
Gambler
Yes…..Cuban B.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Pretty sure Young Mannie date that chick…..what was her name again? Mary Jane?
Gambler
He was a Master of the Custodial Arts. Janitor if you want to be a dick about it.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Borderland, however, looks like he belongs in a C Rated movie, which will probably be made just as soon as APW opens it’s own movie studio. He’ll be a lead role, only because no legit actor will actually want the role. Kash, on the other hand, would be better off in a movie. Would be better off doing roles, similar to Tiny Lister. Why not? Lister thought he was a ‘rassler, too. Had more talent then Kash, Borderland or Red Shield Mafia.
Somewhere in this clusterfuck of a match, I’m thinking that Damien Walker might actually serve a purpose, for once in his pathetic, miserable life. He can serve as traffic cop for the paramedics when they come to take your sorry, miserable, pathetic excuses for carcasses to the nearest hospital. Don’t fret when they take you. When you wake up long enough to ask how you’re going to pay for the hospital visits, just remember…..Canada has socialized medicine. It’s a lot like welfare, back in the states, which is something that all four of you are probably all too familiar with.
The waiting time for actual, legitimate medical care will take about as long as you’re used to in the states, since all of you are used to milking the welfare system. If you actually spent your money on real insurance, or just built your fortunes like me, you’d probably afford better medical service. But, this is probably the best thing any of you’ll ever afford, or get. Be happy with what you have. Enjoy what you can get.
While you’re enjoying your free medical care in Canada, Gambler and I will be doing what any good American Citizen will be doing……paying taxes and celebrating our hard, earned victories.
The lights go all the way down until everything becomes pitch black. Scene ends.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
You’re probably wondering why I’m here in Halifax, right now. After all, I don’t need to be here for another few days. Test for the Best isn’t for another few days. Probably wondering why Gambler’s even here, as he’s not even scheduled for the event.
Honestly, we’re just enjoying some down time. Gambler will be making his usual appearance in Texas on Saturday, just before joining me in Portland, Maine. Some of the action will be spilling over for us from Test for the Best. After all, the great fans of APW will want to here from the Test for the Best Champion, which will undoubtedly be me. They’ll want to see their Champion continue his winning ways by becoming one-half of the Tag Team Champions, alongside the incomparable Gambler. Gambler, a man that nearly became Asylum’s Tap Out Champion at Mayhem, back in May 22nd.
Unfortunately, the odds were simply stacked against him that night. July 5th at the Asylum Supershow will be a completely different story, not only for Gambler, but for myself as well. After numerous months of chasing after championship gold, unsuccessfully, The Gambling Superstars are walking out of Asylum as the two most important men on the roster. Not only will we have the Test for the Best under my belt, but we’ll have Tag Team gold.
Gambler
In years past, Bobby & I would never have done business with each other. Even in the same promotions, we never acknowledged each other. Simply no need or desire to interact. He had his high class friends while I’ve always had friends in low places. Since coming to APW, no matter what we did on our own, we didn’t see the success that we were used to. Even as the scum of the Earth, I was used to seeing good things happen to me, usually in my time table. I was always able to give a little leeway, just in case things took a slight bit longer then planned.
For reasons currently unknown to either one of us, we never pulled it off, not until we started getting paired up in random bookings. The more we got paired up, the more we saw that we were starting to change our luck. And change it did. Our matches started going in our favor. We started getting noticed by the fans, our fellow wrestlers, and even by management. More title shots came our way. Bobby’s now in the Test for the Best Tournament. We’ve got a triple threat Tag Team Title match for the vacant championships.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Speaking of our fellow wrestlers, I could go on about how we’ve been getting noticed more and more by all the scum that still hang around APW. Chris Cyrus, for example, has been notice Gambler frequently, as of late. Every time Cyrus turns around, he gets a knuckle sandwich shoved down his throat. It’s amazing that he hasn’t needed reconstructive surgery on his mouth, yet.
Other people that have been noticing us lately would be our opponents, the Red Shield Mafia and Organized Violence. Honestly, I don’t know which team I should be hating on first. Don’t really know which team I should hate more, come to think of it.
Gambler
Oh, I think I’d like to start on that, if you don’t mind.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Knock yourself out.
Gambler
For the hell of it, I’ll start with the Red Shield Mafia. They’ve been a lot like a hemorrhoid that just won’t go away. All the ointments, all the creams in the world won’t make them go away. Not even medical science can get rid of this hemorrhoid. Just like a bad hemorrhoid, Red Shield Mafia is going to need medical attention to take care of them when the match is over. With three teams, all hell will break loose. It’ll won’t be Organized Violence, by any means, but it’s sure have an insane amount of violence.
Considering that two of the three teams in this match are nothing but common street thugs, I half expect someone to pull a knife in this match. Knowing how Asylum works, I doubt the announcing crew will call it a “pair of scissors” either. Won’t blame them for calling this the greatest night in wrestling history, or even just calling this the best episode in Asylum history, until the next airing of Asylum airs.
Red Shield Mafia, you should really expect to be beaten to an inch of your pathetic little lives. No more low rent wrestling from either one of you. Best part of the night will probably come when Organized Violence does most of our dirty work for us, which would be fine with us if that happened.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
I’d personally be happy if that was the case. I still owe Borderland from Mayhem, a couple months back. You managed to steal my thunder during our dark match, getting the pin over our “other” opponent. You won’t be quite so fortunate this time around. At least your buddy, Jason Kash, has at least managed to get an actual pinfall on me……once. Remember that, Jason. You only pinned me once. As much as you love bragging about it, and believe me, I know you enjoy bragging about it, you were lucky to get that one pinfall on me.
Anyone can get lucky once in awhile. It happens to everyone. Some people just get lucky a bit more often then others. You’ve been hitting a lucky streak quite a bit, lately. If I have it my way, and you know I will, your lucky streak will end on Sunday, July the 3rd, here in Metro Center. Wouldn’t that be ironic, Jason? I first beat your ass in the Test for the Best tournament. Then, a few days later, I beat your ass again to win the Tag Team Championship. I have to ask if you could handle two straight defeats like that to me, or even to Gambler. What would happen if you lost back to back matches to us in two consecutive matches?
Gambler
You’ve been fortunate enough to gain a victory over us, only once each. Both times, you were lucky to walk out of the match on your own power. Vegas currently has you losing your winning streak by the end of Test for the Best at 2:1. They also have your losing streak continuing at Asylum at 3:1. Borderland, well, his young APW career will look just as pathetic as yours. Just a question of which one of you takes the fall. Maybe you’ll put the skids on your losing streak by ducking out of the match, leaving the Mafia high and dry.
The Mafia and Organized Violence, when I think of both teams, kind of remind me of a cheap, crappy remake of a Friday movie. Not that those movies were any good, by any stretch of the imagination. Take a look at any member of these two teams. You can find a nearly identical twin in one of those crappy movies. I’ll probably end up half baked in this match.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Half Baked? Now I know where I’ve seen J.R. Kingston before. I think he was Cuban B.
Gambler
Yes…..Cuban B.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Pretty sure Young Mannie date that chick…..what was her name again? Mary Jane?
Gambler
He was a Master of the Custodial Arts. Janitor if you want to be a dick about it.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Borderland, however, looks like he belongs in a C Rated movie, which will probably be made just as soon as APW opens it’s own movie studio. He’ll be a lead role, only because no legit actor will actually want the role. Kash, on the other hand, would be better off in a movie. Would be better off doing roles, similar to Tiny Lister. Why not? Lister thought he was a ‘rassler, too. Had more talent then Kash, Borderland or Red Shield Mafia.
Somewhere in this clusterfuck of a match, I’m thinking that Damien Walker might actually serve a purpose, for once in his pathetic, miserable life. He can serve as traffic cop for the paramedics when they come to take your sorry, miserable, pathetic excuses for carcasses to the nearest hospital. Don’t fret when they take you. When you wake up long enough to ask how you’re going to pay for the hospital visits, just remember…..Canada has socialized medicine. It’s a lot like welfare, back in the states, which is something that all four of you are probably all too familiar with.
The waiting time for actual, legitimate medical care will take about as long as you’re used to in the states, since all of you are used to milking the welfare system. If you actually spent your money on real insurance, or just built your fortunes like me, you’d probably afford better medical service. But, this is probably the best thing any of you’ll ever afford, or get. Be happy with what you have. Enjoy what you can get.
While you’re enjoying your free medical care in Canada, Gambler and I will be doing what any good American Citizen will be doing……paying taxes and celebrating our hard, earned victories.
The lights go all the way down until everything becomes pitch black. Scene ends.
