Post by Johnny Rebel on Jul 2, 2011 15:44:08 GMT -4
Swish!
[The ball goes through the net without coming close to the rim as the crowd erupts in to a frenzy.]
“Way to go!”
“Keep it up Warriors!”
“James can’t be stopped!”
[The accolades continue to rain from the stands as the crowd supports its local high school team. The buzz in the arena would lend us to believe that something special is developing on the court. James, at just thirteen-years old is completely dominating his high school counterparts. Bucket after bucket continues to drop as James scoring total is now up to 63 points and we’re only in the third quarter. The announcers voice can barely be heard over the ruckus…]
“Unbelievable! James Thompson again for 3! What a phenom!”
[The opposing team calls a timeout as young prodigy Thompson is now on pace for an all time record. In the middle of the crowd is sitting “Simply Put” Johnny Rebel munching on popcorn and taking in the game, obviously annoyed with the overweight woman cheering and infringing on Rebel’s personal space as she jumps up and down.]
Rebel: Hey! Would you mind keeping your porkchops off my lap? Thanks.
[The woman isn’t amused but doesn’t let it faze her as she goes right back to rooting for history to be made. Rebel’s frustration is growing and he can no longer hide it.]
Rebel: I said move your lard-ass out of my way!
[This time he nudges her with his shoulder out of his way and she stumbles a bit grabbing on to the person next to her for balance. Rebel flips a piece of popcorn in his mouth like nothing happened but is beginning to feel the eyes of those surrounding him on the back of his neck. He mumbles something under his breath.]
Rebel: He’s not even that good…
Rebel: Pathetic. How long are they going to let this twat dance around the court like that?
[Unable to withstand Rebel’s comments any longer a man sitting to his right finally makes a comment in Rebel’s direction.]
“Would you mind watching your language, brother? There are kids around…”
Rebel: Thank you! Exactly my point! This is a man’s game and you inbreds are oodling over a child!
[As you can imagine, Rebel’s comments were not well received. Rebel stands up and begins walking towards the court.]
Rebel: Back in my day we would put children in their place. We wouldn’t allow punks like this [pointing towards James Thompson] run us up and down the court. There was a little thing called pride. If a kid was lighting us up like this fool was – we’d make sure he didn’t come out for the second half! It’s a shame that the professional sports world has been taken over by mommy and daddy’s little heroes! What a bunch of babies.
[The crowd is beginning to get nervous at Rebel’s temper tantrum.]
Rebel: Let me show you how this is done!
[It feels like somebody should be doing something to stop Rebel but everybody seems to be staring at one another and shrugging their shoulders as if they don’t know what to do. The referees on the court are dumbfounded, obviously never having to deal with someone walking on the court in the middle of the game before.]
Rebel: Give me the ball, son.
[Rebel snatches the ball from our basketball hero and motions towards the top of the three-point arc.]
Rebel: Check.
[He slams the ball in James’ chest as he’s a bit scared and isn’t sure how to respond. He looks over to his coach who has his arms folded over his chest and nods in reluctant agreement. He hands the ball back to Rebel as they have apparently begun a game of one on one as the rest of the players on both teams have left the court. Rebel does some ridiculous dribbling moves that gets him nowhere and then throws up a shot that isn’t even close.]
Rebel: That was just a practice shot!
[The crowd laughs at Rebel’s ineptitude. He points at the ball and shooes James to go fetch Rebel’s air ball. He snatches the ball and again pretends to do some kind of fancy move that doesn’t really get him anywhere. He starts backing down the young man, posting him up and trying to use his size to his advantage.]
Rebel: Take notes, kiddies!
[He flashes a devilish grin and prepares to dig an elbow to the neck of the young man. The crowd groans as they can see it coming a mile away. Young James dips underneath, steals the ball and clears it the outside. The crowd is beside themselves in laughter as James is starting to get a little bounce in his step.]
Rebel: You little fartknock...
[Before Rebel can finish, the young man drives right for him planting his right foot in front of Rebel and quickly crossing over to his left leaving Rebel firmly planted on his butt in confusion. James lays it in and runs over to his bench to celebrate with his teammates. The coaches, school staff and referees have no idea what to do next as they’ve never seen anything like this. Rebel is obviously disgusted with himself as he slaps the floor with both hands. He stands up and begins walking over to the group of celebrating teenagers.]
“Hey!”
[The door to the gym swings shut and a couple of security guards come rushing in, apparently responding to a complaint from someone enjoying the game. Rebel catches them out of the corner of his eye and begins to run towards the door but is eventually sandwiched between the two. They grab him by the collar and the legs and toss him out on to the streets to the applause and cheers of the crowd.]
Rebel: That’s the thanks I get for teaching that kid a lesson? Pssh…
[He stands up brushing himself off and checking to make sure there are no injuries. He gets a ton of blank stares from those walking by, as it’s not often that two security officers throw a man out of a high school basketball game. He gives them a blank stare back and starts walking towards his car.]
Rebel: Always looking for the next biggest and brightest star that’s going to carry the mantle for the next generation. It makes me a little bit sick to my stomach, you know? What happened to good ole’ hard work – putting in an effort to get to the top rather than it just being handed to those kids on a silver platter? That seems like an odd question coming from someone like myself who is obviously immune to such answers. My career accomplishments have been well documented and no need to be rehashed in such a place as this. However, the treatment of these so-called “superstars” these days is unreal. Kids are handed opportunities left and right and they often squander them for one reason or another.
[Rebel snickers.]
Rebel: But you know what? I’m not going to let it ruin my day. Nothing could ruin a day like today.
[Rebel smiles.]
Rebel: In just a few short days, I will become the brand new Test for the Best tournament champion. I’ve already spent time picturing in my head the coronation service. Can you believe it? Soon enough, all of these imbeciles that claim to be “fans” will be my loyal servants. The APW locker room will be at my beckon call. I will be their king and they will be my people! What an incredible day that will be; one that should have happened long ago!
Rebel: After I’m done with the Overdrive side of this bracket and the trio of Khaos, C.J. Gates and Sally Talfourd have been crossed off the list, I’ll have one person standing in my way. Someone from the “B” side of the APW. Someone that isn’t quite good enough to keep up with the rest of us over on Overdrive. The audacity of President Jeff to even include any of you in this tournament has me scratching my head. It’s obvious that when you compare the two brands side by side that one outweighs the other by a large margin. On Overdrive, you have incredible athletes who night-in and night-out give it everything they have. They wrestle before sold out crowds across the country. Meanwhile, the Asylum brand does its best impression of the annoying little brother. Yes, we’re going to let you play in the game but you’re going to be picked last and you stand on the sideline until we tell you it’s your turn.
[Rebel digs his own analogy and swings his arms through the air simulating a baseball game.]
Rebel: The choices for those of you to enter this tournament were slim pickings. Reginald didn’t have much to choose from but did the best he could with what he had. I understand that. First up was “the Bad Boy” himself, Shane Borderland.
[Rebel rolls his eyes at the thought of being in the ring with Borderland.]
Rebel: I’m a big fan of the classic oversell. “I think she’s great but she can’t compete with me.” Garbage. It’s all garbage, Shane. You and C.J. share in the same struggles – you both have the same insecurities. If you’re going to believe in yourself than do it. Don’t dance with this respect business because it isn’t going to get you anywhere. I went down that road once before and I ended up with a lot of heartache and heartburn. There was a time when the word respect actually meant something. Now we throw it around just try and make each other “feel good.” Being honored by people we encounter in life is a great feeling – it’s a priceless gift. We all desire to be respected but it doesn’t come easy. It requires hard work. That’s why I felt like it was my job to teach that punk James Thompson a lesson earlier this morning.
[He snarls a bit at the mention of that name.]
Rebel: I see you like to live by the Golden Rule. “Do unto others what you would like others to do unto you.” Treat others with respect and they will treat you with respect. What a load of crock. That’s not reality. Someone doesn’t just offer up respect to you because you’re gentile and nice. I realize that you’re dying to get your hands on Roxy one way or another, Shane. I get that and I can’t say I wouldn’t be in the same position had I the opportunity. However, this respect bullshit doesn’t cut it. You’re like the little boy who can’t quite see over the counter so you’re over in the corner jumping up and down and waving your hands in the air; hoping to get noticed by the adults having a conversation. That’s pretty much how I feel about your worth in this tournament. You’re going to do all of the jumping up and down, begging and pleading for somebody to pay attention to you and your little friends from Asylum while the rest of us adults aren’t going to be playing. We’re going to be taking care of business at the big boy table – not concerned with what’s happening around us.
I’m just not convinced that you have what it takes. All I’ve heard coming out of your mouth is how much you respect Roxy and think she is going to be the toughest opponent that you’ve faced in your brief time in the APW. You praise her for having the skills necessary to come out on top in your match, yet in your next breath you doubt that she has what it takes to beat you. I’m a little confused, Shane. You can’t have it both ways. Either she has what it takes to get to the top or she doesn’t. You can’t flip flop depending on the moment. That’s what I don’t understand about you idiots. You can never hold to your word. There always has to be something “else.” You say one thing but you live another. I just can’t understand it. Where I come from if you say something about someone, you follow through. If you say you’re going to beat someone and come out victorious, you do it. So far, I’ve done that in the ring. Six times to be exact where I’ve said I’m going to do something and I’ve done it. I guess you can say I’m just a man of my word! We won’t count that little display by Khaos and that little Mexican jumping bean, Nova.
The reality is you have the opportunity to test yourself. To try and become the best the APW has to offer. My only hope for you is that you don’t squander it away. I’ve seen your type over the years. You come out with guns blazing, talking about respect but in the next breath, you’re in the back lighting up a “cigarette” and boasting about how many women you’ve “bagged.” The dedication and focus isn’t there. You’ve been given the opportunity of a lifetime, son. It’s time to shape up. Time to put down the other things that are dragging you down and look forward on to the prize that is the Test for the Best tournament. Can you do it? It remains to be seen.
[Rebel shakes his head at the wasted opportunity for Shane Borderland.]
Rebel: Then there is his opponent, Roxy. If the inclusion of Sally Talfourd wasn’t enough, I have to deal with the prospect of beating two women on my way to being crowned the best. I guess we’re at the point now where it’s culturally acceptable for women to try and compete with men in any and everything. APW is a bit ahead of the curve on this one since the general view is that despite how things are improving in the treatment of women – the best way to allow women and men to both be successful in this business is by keeping them separate. There are the usual argument like ‘men are bigger and stronger’ and well, ‘it’s just not fair to women’ to make them compete in the same division. Blah blah blah. I have no problems kicking the living daylights out of a woman just as I would a man.
The reality is women just can’t compete with men. We could take every athletic competition and level the playing fields and well, you just wouldn’t come close. If sports were integrated today the first to complain would be women. How many women would even sniff the top 100 in tennis? We’re talking about playing with same rules as men. Could they last all five sets? Probably not. And even if they could how many would ever reach the top – the pinnacle of the tennis world? Very few. How many golf? How many women could keep up with a man when teeing off from the same tees? My guess would be not very many. How about running a marathon? Surely, women could keep up with men there, right? Wrong. The best woman in the 2010 New York marathon would have barely made the top 30 overall from the men’s race. One of the biggest strikes against women comes in the one-hundred meter dash. The world record for the female version, one that has not been seriously challenged in over 20 years, is at 10.49 seconds. Do you realize that men’s college sprinters, not even at the highest level of division I, break that time routinely in NCAA competitions? If you were to put a women’s basketball team on the court with a men’s team and you would find the a similar situation. I have no doubt that the women’s team work out plenty and are in great shape – however it doesn’t hide the fact their center is barely 6’3”, or the size of an undersized shooting guard on a men’s squad.
The world record holder for men, Usain Bolt, his recent run in the men’s one hundred meter beats the woman’s world record by almost a second, which to the untrained eye may not mean a whole lot but is a gigantic amount of time in a sport measured to the thousandth of a second. While the general public is starting to lean in the direction of including both men and women in the same athletic competition, I still hold to the notion that it’s a terrible idea! The separation of the two genders has worked for ages. Why mess with a good thing now?
We could even scale it back to non-athletic competitions. How about chess? The top woman in the world would barely be included in the top-50 amongst men. Being in that ring requires size, strength and speed – all of which when you unfold the tale of the tape against the two of us – I come out on top. You seem to have the respect of your peers, especially Shane Borderland and Jason Kash. I’m not so sure that respect from Kash doesn’t come in the form of your willingness to spread your legs for him but that’s beside the point. I just don’t get it – I don’t understand. At least Sally has accomplished something in the ring. What have you done? What have you accomplished? Absolutely nothing. If you somehow get the privilage of sharing the ring with me at the end of the night and the end of this tournament, I’m going to prove to you why you don’t belong in this tournament and put you back where you belong.
[Still sitting on the bench, Rebel reaches in his pocket and pulls out a penny.]
Rebel: Then there is one half of the Gambling Superstars, Bobby Bodacious. I have so little faith that you’re going to make it out I’m only going to give you a few moments of my precious time.
If there were ever two words to describe Johnny Rebel, you wouldn’t choose prude or puritan. I think people should be allowed to gamble with whatever money or property that they have. It’s your business and nobody else’s. This is a much deeper issue than that just gambling, there is always something behind it. It’s never just an opportunity to build your fortunes.
So, what’s your story, Bodacious? It’s been reported than more than 15 million people in North America have a serious gambling problem. The natural question that comes next is where does it stem from? What causes normal, every day people to go out and to throw away their money? Are we bored with what we have? Is it the need for something different – a change in the norms of every day life? Are you looking for some sort of adrenaline rush? When jumping out of planes, bungee jumping or wrestling alligators aren’t enough; we have to turn to gambling. Normal people would just hop on a roller coaster or maybe eat a strawberry that’s fallen on the ground. But you? You have to feed that rush in another way.
The smart bet for Test for the Best is to double down on Johnny Rebel. The odds are stacked up in my favor, Bodacious. Only a fool would be willing to place a bet on you over me. They would be crazy to even bet in your favor over C.J. Gates! There comes a time when you have to know when to fold your cards and I’m pretty confident that you’ve reached that point. Because at Test for the Best, if you happen to make it to that final table and it’s just you and me standing in the ring you’ll have just a few options. You can show your hand and make an attempt at the victory. Your second option is to check. Maybe hang around long enough just to try and get a read on what’s going on through my mind. Finally, the third and right choice is you can fold and walk away unscathed and losing nothing. If you stay in the match, I can promise you I’m going to give it everything I have. I’m going to keep feeding that slot machine with quarters until it bursts and I’m guaranteed of walking out with a victory.
Only a wise man is willing to gamble his career in the ring with someone like me. Lucky for me, I don’t think you’re wise enough to walk away while you still have your dignity and pride. Come Test for the Best, I’ll prove that I’m the best not only in the ring but at the blackjack table as well. Know when to fold them, Bodacious.
[Rebel takes a deep breath, preparing for his last possible opponent.]
Rebel: And then there is Blade.
[Rebel shakes his head.]
Rebel: In case you have forgot, Blade, I’d love to take you for a stroll down memory lane. You remember, don’t you? Where I put you down in the middle of the ring once and for all. The same lesson still applies here. The good news I don’t think you’re as bad as the effort you gave in our previous meeting. I think deep down inside you have it in you to come out with guns blazing and giving us everything you’ve got. Which is why I’m not ready to completely crap on your chances to represent Asylum on your side of the bracket.
I think you just need to be prodded in the right direction. I think maybe it’s time for your skills to be refined and sharpened. I think over time you’ve become dull and uninteresting. Maybe you just need someone like myself to light a fire underneath you but something has got to change. What you’ve been doing over the past several weeks just isn’t working. I keep waiting for the old Blade to show up and prove to us that he still has what it takes to slice through the competition but instead we still get the same old tired bit that we’ve all seen a hundred times before.
Let’s be honest here for a second Blade. The reality is that nobody else on your side of this tournament should ever even come close to competing with you but you continuously give half an effort. Count this as your pep talk as your encouragement to get up off your ass and to do something with yourself. At Test for the Best, I’d love to walk out with my hands held high and know that I beat a decent and somewhat worthy opponent. I’d hate to waltz through this thing and be declared the champion while having to beat…Shane Borderland in the finals. It just doesn’t have the same thing to it as Johnny Rebel vs. Blade for the Test for the Best crown, does it?
Regardless of who ends up the finals – that elusive Test for the Best crown will simply be a mirage. Out of reach for you inferior vessels. Johnny Rebel will stand tall as he has bested all of you in the middle of the ring and on his way to the APW Undisputed Crown. My friends it’s all:
#SIMPLY
#F’N
#PUT.
[Fade to black.]
[The ball goes through the net without coming close to the rim as the crowd erupts in to a frenzy.]
“Way to go!”
“Keep it up Warriors!”
“James can’t be stopped!”
[The accolades continue to rain from the stands as the crowd supports its local high school team. The buzz in the arena would lend us to believe that something special is developing on the court. James, at just thirteen-years old is completely dominating his high school counterparts. Bucket after bucket continues to drop as James scoring total is now up to 63 points and we’re only in the third quarter. The announcers voice can barely be heard over the ruckus…]
“Unbelievable! James Thompson again for 3! What a phenom!”
[The opposing team calls a timeout as young prodigy Thompson is now on pace for an all time record. In the middle of the crowd is sitting “Simply Put” Johnny Rebel munching on popcorn and taking in the game, obviously annoyed with the overweight woman cheering and infringing on Rebel’s personal space as she jumps up and down.]
Rebel: Hey! Would you mind keeping your porkchops off my lap? Thanks.
[The woman isn’t amused but doesn’t let it faze her as she goes right back to rooting for history to be made. Rebel’s frustration is growing and he can no longer hide it.]
Rebel: I said move your lard-ass out of my way!
[This time he nudges her with his shoulder out of his way and she stumbles a bit grabbing on to the person next to her for balance. Rebel flips a piece of popcorn in his mouth like nothing happened but is beginning to feel the eyes of those surrounding him on the back of his neck. He mumbles something under his breath.]
Rebel: He’s not even that good…
Rebel: Pathetic. How long are they going to let this twat dance around the court like that?
[Unable to withstand Rebel’s comments any longer a man sitting to his right finally makes a comment in Rebel’s direction.]
“Would you mind watching your language, brother? There are kids around…”
Rebel: Thank you! Exactly my point! This is a man’s game and you inbreds are oodling over a child!
[As you can imagine, Rebel’s comments were not well received. Rebel stands up and begins walking towards the court.]
Rebel: Back in my day we would put children in their place. We wouldn’t allow punks like this [pointing towards James Thompson] run us up and down the court. There was a little thing called pride. If a kid was lighting us up like this fool was – we’d make sure he didn’t come out for the second half! It’s a shame that the professional sports world has been taken over by mommy and daddy’s little heroes! What a bunch of babies.
[The crowd is beginning to get nervous at Rebel’s temper tantrum.]
Rebel: Let me show you how this is done!
[It feels like somebody should be doing something to stop Rebel but everybody seems to be staring at one another and shrugging their shoulders as if they don’t know what to do. The referees on the court are dumbfounded, obviously never having to deal with someone walking on the court in the middle of the game before.]
Rebel: Give me the ball, son.
[Rebel snatches the ball from our basketball hero and motions towards the top of the three-point arc.]
Rebel: Check.
[He slams the ball in James’ chest as he’s a bit scared and isn’t sure how to respond. He looks over to his coach who has his arms folded over his chest and nods in reluctant agreement. He hands the ball back to Rebel as they have apparently begun a game of one on one as the rest of the players on both teams have left the court. Rebel does some ridiculous dribbling moves that gets him nowhere and then throws up a shot that isn’t even close.]
Rebel: That was just a practice shot!
[The crowd laughs at Rebel’s ineptitude. He points at the ball and shooes James to go fetch Rebel’s air ball. He snatches the ball and again pretends to do some kind of fancy move that doesn’t really get him anywhere. He starts backing down the young man, posting him up and trying to use his size to his advantage.]
Rebel: Take notes, kiddies!
[He flashes a devilish grin and prepares to dig an elbow to the neck of the young man. The crowd groans as they can see it coming a mile away. Young James dips underneath, steals the ball and clears it the outside. The crowd is beside themselves in laughter as James is starting to get a little bounce in his step.]
Rebel: You little fartknock...
[Before Rebel can finish, the young man drives right for him planting his right foot in front of Rebel and quickly crossing over to his left leaving Rebel firmly planted on his butt in confusion. James lays it in and runs over to his bench to celebrate with his teammates. The coaches, school staff and referees have no idea what to do next as they’ve never seen anything like this. Rebel is obviously disgusted with himself as he slaps the floor with both hands. He stands up and begins walking over to the group of celebrating teenagers.]
“Hey!”
[The door to the gym swings shut and a couple of security guards come rushing in, apparently responding to a complaint from someone enjoying the game. Rebel catches them out of the corner of his eye and begins to run towards the door but is eventually sandwiched between the two. They grab him by the collar and the legs and toss him out on to the streets to the applause and cheers of the crowd.]
Rebel: That’s the thanks I get for teaching that kid a lesson? Pssh…
[He stands up brushing himself off and checking to make sure there are no injuries. He gets a ton of blank stares from those walking by, as it’s not often that two security officers throw a man out of a high school basketball game. He gives them a blank stare back and starts walking towards his car.]
Rebel: Always looking for the next biggest and brightest star that’s going to carry the mantle for the next generation. It makes me a little bit sick to my stomach, you know? What happened to good ole’ hard work – putting in an effort to get to the top rather than it just being handed to those kids on a silver platter? That seems like an odd question coming from someone like myself who is obviously immune to such answers. My career accomplishments have been well documented and no need to be rehashed in such a place as this. However, the treatment of these so-called “superstars” these days is unreal. Kids are handed opportunities left and right and they often squander them for one reason or another.
[Rebel snickers.]
Rebel: But you know what? I’m not going to let it ruin my day. Nothing could ruin a day like today.
[Rebel smiles.]
Rebel: In just a few short days, I will become the brand new Test for the Best tournament champion. I’ve already spent time picturing in my head the coronation service. Can you believe it? Soon enough, all of these imbeciles that claim to be “fans” will be my loyal servants. The APW locker room will be at my beckon call. I will be their king and they will be my people! What an incredible day that will be; one that should have happened long ago!
Rebel: After I’m done with the Overdrive side of this bracket and the trio of Khaos, C.J. Gates and Sally Talfourd have been crossed off the list, I’ll have one person standing in my way. Someone from the “B” side of the APW. Someone that isn’t quite good enough to keep up with the rest of us over on Overdrive. The audacity of President Jeff to even include any of you in this tournament has me scratching my head. It’s obvious that when you compare the two brands side by side that one outweighs the other by a large margin. On Overdrive, you have incredible athletes who night-in and night-out give it everything they have. They wrestle before sold out crowds across the country. Meanwhile, the Asylum brand does its best impression of the annoying little brother. Yes, we’re going to let you play in the game but you’re going to be picked last and you stand on the sideline until we tell you it’s your turn.
[Rebel digs his own analogy and swings his arms through the air simulating a baseball game.]
Rebel: The choices for those of you to enter this tournament were slim pickings. Reginald didn’t have much to choose from but did the best he could with what he had. I understand that. First up was “the Bad Boy” himself, Shane Borderland.
[Rebel rolls his eyes at the thought of being in the ring with Borderland.]
Rebel: I’m a big fan of the classic oversell. “I think she’s great but she can’t compete with me.” Garbage. It’s all garbage, Shane. You and C.J. share in the same struggles – you both have the same insecurities. If you’re going to believe in yourself than do it. Don’t dance with this respect business because it isn’t going to get you anywhere. I went down that road once before and I ended up with a lot of heartache and heartburn. There was a time when the word respect actually meant something. Now we throw it around just try and make each other “feel good.” Being honored by people we encounter in life is a great feeling – it’s a priceless gift. We all desire to be respected but it doesn’t come easy. It requires hard work. That’s why I felt like it was my job to teach that punk James Thompson a lesson earlier this morning.
[He snarls a bit at the mention of that name.]
Rebel: I see you like to live by the Golden Rule. “Do unto others what you would like others to do unto you.” Treat others with respect and they will treat you with respect. What a load of crock. That’s not reality. Someone doesn’t just offer up respect to you because you’re gentile and nice. I realize that you’re dying to get your hands on Roxy one way or another, Shane. I get that and I can’t say I wouldn’t be in the same position had I the opportunity. However, this respect bullshit doesn’t cut it. You’re like the little boy who can’t quite see over the counter so you’re over in the corner jumping up and down and waving your hands in the air; hoping to get noticed by the adults having a conversation. That’s pretty much how I feel about your worth in this tournament. You’re going to do all of the jumping up and down, begging and pleading for somebody to pay attention to you and your little friends from Asylum while the rest of us adults aren’t going to be playing. We’re going to be taking care of business at the big boy table – not concerned with what’s happening around us.
I’m just not convinced that you have what it takes. All I’ve heard coming out of your mouth is how much you respect Roxy and think she is going to be the toughest opponent that you’ve faced in your brief time in the APW. You praise her for having the skills necessary to come out on top in your match, yet in your next breath you doubt that she has what it takes to beat you. I’m a little confused, Shane. You can’t have it both ways. Either she has what it takes to get to the top or she doesn’t. You can’t flip flop depending on the moment. That’s what I don’t understand about you idiots. You can never hold to your word. There always has to be something “else.” You say one thing but you live another. I just can’t understand it. Where I come from if you say something about someone, you follow through. If you say you’re going to beat someone and come out victorious, you do it. So far, I’ve done that in the ring. Six times to be exact where I’ve said I’m going to do something and I’ve done it. I guess you can say I’m just a man of my word! We won’t count that little display by Khaos and that little Mexican jumping bean, Nova.
The reality is you have the opportunity to test yourself. To try and become the best the APW has to offer. My only hope for you is that you don’t squander it away. I’ve seen your type over the years. You come out with guns blazing, talking about respect but in the next breath, you’re in the back lighting up a “cigarette” and boasting about how many women you’ve “bagged.” The dedication and focus isn’t there. You’ve been given the opportunity of a lifetime, son. It’s time to shape up. Time to put down the other things that are dragging you down and look forward on to the prize that is the Test for the Best tournament. Can you do it? It remains to be seen.
[Rebel shakes his head at the wasted opportunity for Shane Borderland.]
Rebel: Then there is his opponent, Roxy. If the inclusion of Sally Talfourd wasn’t enough, I have to deal with the prospect of beating two women on my way to being crowned the best. I guess we’re at the point now where it’s culturally acceptable for women to try and compete with men in any and everything. APW is a bit ahead of the curve on this one since the general view is that despite how things are improving in the treatment of women – the best way to allow women and men to both be successful in this business is by keeping them separate. There are the usual argument like ‘men are bigger and stronger’ and well, ‘it’s just not fair to women’ to make them compete in the same division. Blah blah blah. I have no problems kicking the living daylights out of a woman just as I would a man.
The reality is women just can’t compete with men. We could take every athletic competition and level the playing fields and well, you just wouldn’t come close. If sports were integrated today the first to complain would be women. How many women would even sniff the top 100 in tennis? We’re talking about playing with same rules as men. Could they last all five sets? Probably not. And even if they could how many would ever reach the top – the pinnacle of the tennis world? Very few. How many golf? How many women could keep up with a man when teeing off from the same tees? My guess would be not very many. How about running a marathon? Surely, women could keep up with men there, right? Wrong. The best woman in the 2010 New York marathon would have barely made the top 30 overall from the men’s race. One of the biggest strikes against women comes in the one-hundred meter dash. The world record for the female version, one that has not been seriously challenged in over 20 years, is at 10.49 seconds. Do you realize that men’s college sprinters, not even at the highest level of division I, break that time routinely in NCAA competitions? If you were to put a women’s basketball team on the court with a men’s team and you would find the a similar situation. I have no doubt that the women’s team work out plenty and are in great shape – however it doesn’t hide the fact their center is barely 6’3”, or the size of an undersized shooting guard on a men’s squad.
The world record holder for men, Usain Bolt, his recent run in the men’s one hundred meter beats the woman’s world record by almost a second, which to the untrained eye may not mean a whole lot but is a gigantic amount of time in a sport measured to the thousandth of a second. While the general public is starting to lean in the direction of including both men and women in the same athletic competition, I still hold to the notion that it’s a terrible idea! The separation of the two genders has worked for ages. Why mess with a good thing now?
We could even scale it back to non-athletic competitions. How about chess? The top woman in the world would barely be included in the top-50 amongst men. Being in that ring requires size, strength and speed – all of which when you unfold the tale of the tape against the two of us – I come out on top. You seem to have the respect of your peers, especially Shane Borderland and Jason Kash. I’m not so sure that respect from Kash doesn’t come in the form of your willingness to spread your legs for him but that’s beside the point. I just don’t get it – I don’t understand. At least Sally has accomplished something in the ring. What have you done? What have you accomplished? Absolutely nothing. If you somehow get the privilage of sharing the ring with me at the end of the night and the end of this tournament, I’m going to prove to you why you don’t belong in this tournament and put you back where you belong.
[Still sitting on the bench, Rebel reaches in his pocket and pulls out a penny.]
Rebel: Then there is one half of the Gambling Superstars, Bobby Bodacious. I have so little faith that you’re going to make it out I’m only going to give you a few moments of my precious time.
If there were ever two words to describe Johnny Rebel, you wouldn’t choose prude or puritan. I think people should be allowed to gamble with whatever money or property that they have. It’s your business and nobody else’s. This is a much deeper issue than that just gambling, there is always something behind it. It’s never just an opportunity to build your fortunes.
So, what’s your story, Bodacious? It’s been reported than more than 15 million people in North America have a serious gambling problem. The natural question that comes next is where does it stem from? What causes normal, every day people to go out and to throw away their money? Are we bored with what we have? Is it the need for something different – a change in the norms of every day life? Are you looking for some sort of adrenaline rush? When jumping out of planes, bungee jumping or wrestling alligators aren’t enough; we have to turn to gambling. Normal people would just hop on a roller coaster or maybe eat a strawberry that’s fallen on the ground. But you? You have to feed that rush in another way.
The smart bet for Test for the Best is to double down on Johnny Rebel. The odds are stacked up in my favor, Bodacious. Only a fool would be willing to place a bet on you over me. They would be crazy to even bet in your favor over C.J. Gates! There comes a time when you have to know when to fold your cards and I’m pretty confident that you’ve reached that point. Because at Test for the Best, if you happen to make it to that final table and it’s just you and me standing in the ring you’ll have just a few options. You can show your hand and make an attempt at the victory. Your second option is to check. Maybe hang around long enough just to try and get a read on what’s going on through my mind. Finally, the third and right choice is you can fold and walk away unscathed and losing nothing. If you stay in the match, I can promise you I’m going to give it everything I have. I’m going to keep feeding that slot machine with quarters until it bursts and I’m guaranteed of walking out with a victory.
Only a wise man is willing to gamble his career in the ring with someone like me. Lucky for me, I don’t think you’re wise enough to walk away while you still have your dignity and pride. Come Test for the Best, I’ll prove that I’m the best not only in the ring but at the blackjack table as well. Know when to fold them, Bodacious.
[Rebel takes a deep breath, preparing for his last possible opponent.]
Rebel: And then there is Blade.
[Rebel shakes his head.]
Rebel: In case you have forgot, Blade, I’d love to take you for a stroll down memory lane. You remember, don’t you? Where I put you down in the middle of the ring once and for all. The same lesson still applies here. The good news I don’t think you’re as bad as the effort you gave in our previous meeting. I think deep down inside you have it in you to come out with guns blazing and giving us everything you’ve got. Which is why I’m not ready to completely crap on your chances to represent Asylum on your side of the bracket.
I think you just need to be prodded in the right direction. I think maybe it’s time for your skills to be refined and sharpened. I think over time you’ve become dull and uninteresting. Maybe you just need someone like myself to light a fire underneath you but something has got to change. What you’ve been doing over the past several weeks just isn’t working. I keep waiting for the old Blade to show up and prove to us that he still has what it takes to slice through the competition but instead we still get the same old tired bit that we’ve all seen a hundred times before.
Let’s be honest here for a second Blade. The reality is that nobody else on your side of this tournament should ever even come close to competing with you but you continuously give half an effort. Count this as your pep talk as your encouragement to get up off your ass and to do something with yourself. At Test for the Best, I’d love to walk out with my hands held high and know that I beat a decent and somewhat worthy opponent. I’d hate to waltz through this thing and be declared the champion while having to beat…Shane Borderland in the finals. It just doesn’t have the same thing to it as Johnny Rebel vs. Blade for the Test for the Best crown, does it?
Regardless of who ends up the finals – that elusive Test for the Best crown will simply be a mirage. Out of reach for you inferior vessels. Johnny Rebel will stand tall as he has bested all of you in the middle of the ring and on his way to the APW Undisputed Crown. My friends it’s all:
#SIMPLY
#F’N
#PUT.
[Fade to black.]
