Post by biggs on Jul 2, 2011 20:04:47 GMT -4
Wednesday, June 15
Day One
Yesterday, I found out that I could potentially have cancer. A very small chance, mind you, but still, it's as scary a thought as there is. I don't know how to describe how I'm feeling right now other than being both worried and feeling utterly helpless. It doesn't help at all that I won't know the results of my biopsy for another week, leaving me to wonder whether I really have it or not for seven days. If today is any indication, it's going to be a really long week.
I'm packing my suitcase, getting ready to head out to the airport to make the next Overdrive in St. John, New Brunswick. It's taking a lot longer than normal, because in all honesty my mind just isn't in it. I look a pair of rolled up socks sitting next to my suitcase, and just let them sit there while I get lost in my thoughts.
What if it is cancer? I mean, that's the worst case scenario. Absolute worst case. Actually, that's not true. The worst case is that it could be cancer, and that I die from it. That's the absolute worst case...[/i]
”What are you thinking about, honey?” Ellie asks. I didn't even realize she was there.
”Nothing. Nothing at all,” I lie. She didn't see me crying yesterday when I was talking to my Grandma. By the time she came back in the house, I had already composed myself, and put on a strong face for her. I know that she's already worried enough about me, and I don't want to worry her any further, especially considering her recent mental issues. She needs me to still be strong for her in that area. I can't afford to not be.
”Really? You've been staring at that pair of socks for the better part of five minutes. Now I know they're nice socks, but you've got to be thinking about something else to look at them for five minutes!” she says with a giggle. Her eyes are lighting up like they did in the old days, before we hit our rough patch. It's a good sign that she's at least getting better.
”It's nothing, really. I'm just thinking...”
”About the possibility of it begin cancer, aren't you?” Ellie says point blank.
I hesitate to answer, but the look on her face tells me that she already knows. ”Yeah. Yeah I am. I think that I'm finally to the point where...” I stop myself before I finish that thought. I don't want to put this burden on Ellie. I have to be strong for her sake.
She looks at me quizzically, motioning with her hands for me to spit it out. ”The point where what?” she asks, trying to prod me along.
I just sigh and keep my mouth shut. I turn back to the pair of socks, and grab them, throwing them into my suitcase. Ellie asks me again, ”The point where what?”
I can't shut her out anymore. I can't put on the happy face. I can already feel the tears begin to well up in my eyes, I can feel my mouth start to sputter, and before long, I cough out the response, ”That I'm worried that I could have cancer, and that I could die, and that I would leave you behind! And it's the scariest thing in the world!”
I break down crying, and get to my knees on the floor. I feel so weak right now, so pathetic. Here I am, a grown man, crying like a baby, and I don't even know if I have cancer or not! It's just a possibility at this point, and the truth is, more than likely, it's not cancer! Still, I can't help but feel the way I'm feeling right.
Ellie crouches down and joins me on the floor, putting both arms around me. She sits there with me, hugging me, rocking me back and forth, trying to comfort me. ”It's okay to cry. You don't have to be the strong one all the time...”
”I never said I was trying to be,” I stammer through the tears.
”But I know you are, Gary. You always are. And it's wearing down on you. I can tell. Please, this once, let me be the strong one for you. I can handle it,” she reassures me.
”But aren't you scared too?” I ask, foolishly, it seems like.
She looks at me with her beautiful eyes, and I see a strength in her that I haven't seen in a long time. She responds with great candor, ”I'm terrified. I don't want to lose you. But I cried my tears out yesterday, and today, I'm here for you. If you'll have me, I want to go to New Brunswick with you, because I think you're going to need me.”
”Oh-oh-okay...” I mumble. It's the first time Ellie will be going with me on the road since we got married. I haven't had to face the guys with her by my side, and they haven't had a chance to taunt her, to get at her, but right now, I need her moral support. ”Thank you.”
Thursday, June 16
Day Two
I shouldn't be here. I really shouldn't be here right now. My mind is not fully with me, and I know the moment that I go out to that ring, if I'm not fully there, in that moment, I could get seriously injured. Not that it would be any worse than having cancer, but the fact remains, right now, wrestling is the furthest thing from my mind. And considering that I'm gearing up to face Level-One for the APW Undisputed Championship in a little over two weeks, that's a very bad thing.
As Ellie and I walk around backstage at the Harbor Station, we get a few weird looks, a couple of double takes. I guess Ellie being backstage at an APW event is now considered an odd occurrence, because we're largely being left alone. It's about two hours before show time, and I really need to talk to President Jeff. I haven't told him about my situation, because I felt like it was something I should tell him in person. Heck, I haven't told anyone about what's happening to me. It's none of their business. Those that would offer support aren't really close to me anyways, so it wouldn't mean that much to me. Except for maybe Sally. But then there'd be the whole issue of Ellie not getting along with Sally. It's best to just keep this between Ellie, Jeff, and myself. Before long, we reach Jeff's office, and I knock on the door.
”Come in...” I hear Jeff say from the other side of the door.
I open the door and walk into his office. There's some sensible plants, and a hockey sweater that has the number 1 and Jeff's name stitched into it. Jeff looks up from his paper work and greets Ellie and myself. ”Biggs, Ellie, feel free to have a seat. What brings you to my office?” he says nonchalantly.
”Well, Jeff, I've got something very serious to talk with you about, and I wanted to do it in person,” I explain as I sit down.
”Serious, how so?” Jeff asks.
”Jeff, what I tell you right now, I don't want shared with any of the guys.”
”You have my word.”
I look across the desk at my boss, and I'm finding it difficult to say the words that I know need to be said. I try to compose myself, and take a few deep breaths while Ellie holds my hand. Finally, I muster up the courage to speak, ”Jeff, I don't really know how to say this, but I got some bad news from my doctor two days ago, and there's a chance that I could have cancer.”
Jeff's face just drops. It takes him a moment to process the information, but after a short while, he replies, ”That's just awful. Do you need tonight off? I'm more than willing to give you the night off. We've got time to change the main event.”
”No Jeff, I got to be out there. If I no show tonight, people are going to wonder why. I want to keep this whole thing on the down low until I know for sure if it's cancer or not, plus, it might be good for me to take my mind off of things to get to compete.” I calmly explain. I don't believe myself, though. Right now, the last thing I should be doing is going out to that ring. But the fact of the matter is that I have a title shot against Lester Only at the Test for the Best pay-per-view, and if I no show tonight's match, it would only help to serve Level-One's bogus claims that I'm afraid of him. ”It's the go home show before the pay-per-view. It would set a horrible precedent for me to miss it.”
”Okay, that's understandable. But if it is the worst, and it does end up being cancer, I would have to assume that you'll be needing to take some time off to deal with it,” Jeff says, with a very concerned look on his face.
”Yes, yes I would. In fact, if it is cancer, I would certainly have to pull out from my title match with Level-One at Test for the Best. I hope it doesn't come to that, but I have to put my health first.”
”Completely understandable. It won't be a problem at all if that's the case.”
”Thanks, Jeff. I know we haven't always seen eye to eye, but I appreciate your offer. I'll keep you posted,” I reply as I extend my hand over his desk for a handshake.
President Jeff accepts the hand shake, and Ellie and I get up from our chairs, and make our way towards the door. As we're about to open the door, Jeff calls out, ”It's not going to be cancer! I know it!” He gives me a thumbs up.
I smirk a bit, and give him a half hearted thumbs up in return. ”I hope you're right.”
A few hours later, I'm standing over the downed Lester Only, with both my APW Overdrive Championship and the APW Undisputed Championship belts in my arms, raising them high above my head as the crowd rains down all their hatred and venom upon me. And even though this is what I live for, even though I've gotten the better of Lester Only here tonight, I can't help but think in the back of my mind that this very well could be my crowning moment here in APW, because if it does turn out to be cancer, I won't have the chance to face Lester for his title at Test for the Best. I have to enjoy this moment, I have to cherish it, because it could easily be my last in an APW ring.
Friday, June 17
Day Three
Today has been a very emotional day for me. Realizing that last night could have possibly been my final appearance in APW for some time brings a certain kind of pain to my heart that I haven't felt since the CJMB closed down. Your last day with a wrestling promotion is always hard, but I've never been in a position where my health has been the root cause of me having to leave. I've been through fed closures, changes of regimes, and I've even lost a loser leaves town match before, but never have I had to look a boss in the eyes and tell him I could not compete due to issues with my body. I sincerely hope that last night wasn't my last night, and it makes me want the news of what's actually happening to me to come all the quicker, so I can get on with my life.
It's very late at night, and Ellie and I have just gotten home from our flight back from Canada. I let her carry the Overdrive Championship as I drag our suitcases in, pulling both with my good arm. It's been a long day, thanks to not just the travel but also the struggles that have been on my mind. I'm still not at peace with the fact that I may have cancer. Still, I can't wait to open the door, go upstairs, and fall into bed. Ellie goes on ahead of me to unlock the door, and as she ventures in, I hear a surprised gasp! I drop the bags immediately and rush in, worried that there could be somebody in there with Ellie, and as I rush in, the lights pop on and I hear a loud “SURPRISE!” As my eyes adjust to the sudden brightness, I see my parents, Ellie's parents, John and Carol, as well as my Grandma all standing there in the entry way. Ellie is just as surprised as I am, and my mom is quick to come up and give me a hug, followed closely by my Grandma.
”Wow! What are all of you doing here? Not that I'm not happy to see all you, but isn't it a bit past your bedtime, Grandma?” I say jokingly.
”Well, sweetie, we thought you could use some cheering up!” Grandma exclaims, giving me a sloppy kiss on the cheek that only a grandmother can get away with!
”Thank you. I'm so encouraged by all of you just being here. I should go out and grab the bags.”
”Don't worry about it, son. John and I will go grab them,” my dad says as he and John head out the door. Both of them give me hearty pats on the back as they pass by.
Once they're back, mom leads us to the kitchen, where there's a cake that decorated with both the Overdrive Championship and the APW Undisputed Championship drawn in the icing. There's also a bucket of Cookies & Cream Ice Cream.
”Holy smokes! That's quite the cake! Don't you think we should wait until I actually, y'know, know if I'm going to be fighting for it before you put it on a cake for me?” I really do like the cake, but I do think it's a bit premature for this kind of a celebration. However, I do love Cookies & Cream Ice Cream, so I might be able to forgive my folks for them jumping the gun.
”Well, honey, whether you get to fight for the title or not, you're a champion in our book!” my mom pipes in.
”That, and it's not going to be cancer anyways!” Carol adds.
I can't help but smile at their optimism. Personally, I think it's unfounded at this point, but who am I to ruin a good time by being gloomy. I thank everyone for the cake, and we go on to have an excellent evening that almost takes my mind off of things.
Almost.
Saturday, June 18
Day Four
I think I'm doing better emotionally, physically, and otherwise. Ellie's been really helpful in just encouraging me and showing me love, as is the rest of my family. Even though I'm still scared to death about maybe having cancer, at least I know I'm not alone in facing it. But the fact remains that I'm still worried out of my mind.
My folks all spent the night last night, and after a hearty breakfast of pancakes, sausage, bacon, eggs and biscuits, the women take care of the kitchen. Despite my best efforts to offer help, they won't let me. John and my dad are out on the porch, probably talking politics, which they disagree upon, but have a good time picking on each other about anyways. I understandably haven't been keeping up as well as I would need to in order to join their conversation, at least competently, so I decide instead to go to the den. I turn on the big screen TV, and pop in one of my favorite movies, Up, into my PS3.
I hold it together just fine until it gets to the montage of Carl and Ellie's married life together.
I turn the movie off as tears begin to well in my eyes. This part always gets me when I'm watching it normally, but under the circumstances, it has a poignancy to it that's overwhelming. As I watched the events unfold, saw their entire life summed up in a little over four minutes, to see how they grew old together, I can't help but think that's what I want for myself and Ellie. And yet, I might not get the chance to do that. Sure, Ellie died at the end of the montage, but at least her and Carl got to have a nice long life together. I might not have that luxury. There's nothing I want more than to be able to spend a long, healthy life with Ellie (my Ellie, not Carl's), and I can't help but fell bitter that I might be denied that. I eject the Blu Ray and put it back on the shelf before making my way up to my bedroom and shutting the door.
A little bit later, Ellie eventually makes her way up. She sees me hunched beneath the covers, with my back turned to the door. I hear her speaking from behind me.
”There you are! We've been looking all over for you, Gary! Are you doing okay?” she asks with a chirp in her voice.
”It's not fair...”
”Oh sweetie...” she says with a sad tone in her voice as she comes over and sits on the bed next to me. She pats me on the back from behind. ”I know, baby, it doesn't seem fair, but unfortunately, what we're going through right now is merely the hand we've been dealt. We have to deal with it.”
”We should be able to grow old together, like Carl and Ellie did. We shouldn't have to worry about the fact that I could die at such a young age. I'm only 26 freaking years old!” I pout, yelling loudly. I'm to a point where I'm not so much scared as I'm pissed off at the world. I shouldn't have to be dealing with this. I've taken great care of myself, and I'm really young, to boot! Why me? Why me? This is all that I can think at this time. Ellie's trying her best to give me comfort, but it's not working very well.
”When we got married, I vowed to stay with you through good times and bad. I know that you've already gone through the bad times for me, so now I'm going to go through the bad times with you. Even if it ends up being cancer, Gary, and you end up being taken from me too soon, I'll stand by you no matter what...” she reassures me, continuing to pat me on the back.
After a few moments, I whimper in response, ”I don't want you to be hurt like that...”
”But I'd be willing to be hurt for you.” Ellie whispers to me. At this point, I turn to her, and see the sincerity in her eyes. She's being honest about this. She absolutely means what she's saying. ”No matter how long our adventure together is, I will be glad for the time that we do get to have together. And if you ask me, I think it's going to be a long one...”
She gives me a kiss on the forehead, and just sits there with me. We end up sitting there in silence for the better part of an hour, just enjoying being with one another. I can tell in her face that she's saddened, but at the same point, grateful. Seeing her poise, seeing how well she's holding it together, I can't help but feel a little bad at how selfish I'm acting. After a few more moments, I look to her and say, ”Yeah, I think it will be a long adventure! Hopefully you don't get tired of me!”
Sunday, June 19
Day Five
After my time with Ellie yesterday, I think I'm truly at peace with whatever the news is. If it's not cancer, awesome, then life will continue as normal. But if it is, then sure, there will be some challenges, but I have a few things to take solace in. One, it would be on my back and not near any vital organs, which would make surgery on it simple, if not easy. (Or at least as easy as surgery can be.) Secondly, no matter what, Ellie will be there with me, and that's good enough for me.[/i]
It's Sunday morning, and I find myself in a place I haven't been in a long time, and that's my old church. My Grandma insisted on going to church, and I didn't really know of anywhere else to go, so we're seated in the back. My good friend, Jay Whitaker, is preaching the sermon today, and I notice that he's on crutches behind the pulpit. As he begins to speak, he mentions the fact that he tore his Achilles tendon, and that the title of his sermon is Lesson's Learned While Limping.
”So I have three main points for today's lesson. The first point is You Never Know. The second is You Never Know, and the third, any guesses?” Jay says in his normal playful tone.
”You Never Know!” the congregation says back to Jay, drawing some chuckles from the crowd and prompting Jay to grin from ear to ear.
”You're a smarter bunch than we sometimes give you credit for,” Jay jokes before proceeding with his sermon. His first point was that you never know what's going to happen in this life.
”Ain't that the truth,” Ellie says in a low voice as she leans close to me.
”Shhhh! Pay attention in church!” my grandma chides her.
As Jay goes more in depth on his first point, I can't help but look around, and recognize old friends, granted, from behind. I don't really feel like drawing attention to myself, hence the reason we're sitting in the back. Jay eventually gets to his second point, sharing that you never know if something is a blessing or a curse. He reads an excerpt from a Max Lucado book, where it tells the story of an old man who's son breaks his legs trying to break in a wild horse. The whole village claims that the man is cursed. He tells them plainly that they are too quick to judge, and that there's no way that they can definitively make that claim. A week later, their country goes to war, and all the sons are called to serve in what will more than likely be a losing cause. The villagers change their tune, and claim the old man is blessed, because his son will be spared due to his broken legs. Again, the old man says that they can't say that it's a blessing for him, because he is grief stricken for all their sons.
The story makes me think a bit about my situation. It certainly feels like I've been cursed with the specter of cancer, but on the other hand, it has brought my family together, and has helped strengthened mine and Ellie's marriage for the time being. Still, I can't know for sure.
Jay continues on with his sermon, reaching his final point, you never know where help is going to come from. He brings up his recent injury to his Achilles Tendon, and how he's received such an out pouring of help from those in the church. And while he kind of expected that, he went on to share about an experience he had at the hospital, where he had to park several blocks away, and didn't know how to get to the building he needed to. He asked a grounds keeper for directions, but instead the grounds keeper told him to get in his cart and he drove him right to the door where he needed to be! That was something else, for sure! It reminds me of the great support group I have in my family, not to mention President Jeff. Part of me feels guilty for not reaching out to my fellow APW Mega Stars, because right now, I feel there's no doubt in my mind that some of them would be willing to help me out in this situation. As the service comes to a close, Ellie and I quickly duck out, as I don't want Jay to notice that we're there, but my Grandma grabs me by the arm, and holds me back.
”Not so fast, Gary! I want to tell the preacher man that he did a great job! Great sermon!” she corrects me. She drags me by the arm up to the front row where Jay is sitting, talking to some members of the church.
When he notices me, he waves a bit, and asks the folks if he can talk with them later, before turning to me and yelling out, ”GARY! It's great to see you! What brings you to Church today?”
My Grandma butts in, ”I had to drag him out to church today! I go to a church down in Olympia, and since I'm up here visiting him, I told him that he'd better take me to a good church! And that he did! I loved your sermon, Pastor...”
”Please just call me Jay. I'm so glad to hear that! If you don't mind me asking, what prompted your visit?”
”Well, Gary could possibly have cancer, so his parents and myself have spent the weekend up here with him...” Grandma says matter of factually.
”Whoa, whoa, whoa! Did I just hear correctly that Gary might have cancer?” Jay tries to intercede.
I'm almost embarrassed by how much my grandma keeps talking, and a little bit irritated that she volunteered that information without asking me first. ”Yeah Jay, you did. It's a small chance, but still enough of a chance where they wanted to do a biopsy.”
”Oh my gosh! That's horrible! I'm really sorry to hear that. When will you know the results of the biopsy?” Jay asks, clearly upset over the news.
”Hopefully Tuesday.”
”Well, I certainly be praying for the results to be negative...”
”Me too!” Grandma butts in again. ”Well, it was nice to meet you, but we've got to get going if we're going to make the brunch special at Denny's!”
Grandma grabs me by the arm and drags me up the aisle as I wave goodbye to Jay. Ellie follows quickly behind us as Grandma hurries us out to the car.
Monday, June 20
Day Six
By this point, I'm just anxious to get the results. I know Doctor Mann won't be calling until tomorrow at the earliest, but I will be honest, there's a part of me that's hoping that he calls tonight. I just want not exactly a sense of closure, but rather a sense of knowing just what the heck is going on. By now, the waiting is the hardest part, because at this point, either I have cancer or not, and worrying about it is not going to change anything.[/i]
Thankfully, my grandma and parents have headed back down to Olympia. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed having them over, but at this point, I need to get serious about training for my match with Lester Only at Test for the Best. Ellie and her mom are out and about running errands while John hangs out with me as I train. He's holding the heavy punching bag for me as I take some hard swings at it.
”Man, Gary, just watching you is making me exhausted! How can you manage to do all of this knowing that you might not even get to fight Lester Only if you do have cancer?”
”I'll be honest, John, those kind of questions aren't helping me! The fact is, if it isn't cancer, than I can't afford to miss this day of training!”
”Well, for what it's worth, I've heard of folks sweating out their sickness through intense exercise! Who knows, this workout could be helping out in more ways than you know!” John says chiperly with a twinkle in his eye.
”That's usually with something minor like a cold. Still, I appreciate the sentiment.” I reply as I continue to work out.
I train for a few more hours, after which John is utterly exhausted. He heads upstairs to rest while I take a seat on the ring apron. There's something that's been eating at me all week, something that I feel like I need to do. As I sit there on the apron, I grab my cell phone, and slide it open, opening up my address book. ”Did I delete it?” I ask myself as I scroll through the names. ”Nope! Still here!” I exclaim as I find the number I'm looking for. I hit the call button and the phone begins to ring.
After a few rings, it goes to the answering machine, prompting me to leave a message.
”Hey Cyrus, it's Biggs. I know it's kind of strange for me to be calling you out of the blue like this, but the fact is that I've been going through some things as of late that have really put things into perspective. I've come the realization that life is too short for me to be holding grudges, especially against one of the guys who I considered to be my best friend at one time. So I just wanted to call to apologize for the way I've treated you since last October. Sure, you and Ellie did me wrong at the time, but I've done you wrong by not being able to forgive you. So I guess what I want to say is I forgive you, and that I want to still be friends. Please feel free to call me back. Bye.”
I hang up the phone, and put it down. That felt good to tell Chris Cyrus that I forgave him. I really should have done this a lot sooner. After all, I was able to forgive Ellie, and she was just as much a part of it as Chris was. I really hope to hear back from him soon.
Tuesday, June 21
Day Seven
Today's the day, hopeful, where I'll get the call from Doctor Mann. The way I'm seeing it now, and Jay's sermon on Sunday really helped to put this in perspective, but the way I'm seeing it now is that either way, a miracle will occur. Either there will be a miracle when the doctor calls me back and tells me it's not cancer, or there will be a miracle later when I'm cured of cancer. Ellie really likes this idea, and so do I.
I'm downstairs in my personal gym, on the seventh mile of my ten mile run using my elliptical machine while I watch footage of Lester Only's RassleMania match with Sally Talfourd. Ellie's down here too, using the stationary bike, and taking a much more leisurely pace than I am. As I wipe some sweat from my brow, my phone begins to ring, and I pause the machine to pick it up. I answer it without even looking at the caller ID.
”Hello, this is Gary.”
”Hello, Gary, this is Doctor Mann from the University of Washington Medical Center. I have the results of your biopsy, and want to share them with you,” Dr. Mann says on the other side of the line. His voice doesn't sound somber, which seems like a good sign.
”Hopefully it's good news!”
”It is. The results of the biopsy came back negative. The bump on your back is what we thought it was, a sub-dermal hematoma. It'll be a very minor surgery, one that we can put off for a couple of months if needed.”
As I'm listening to Doctor Mann, Ellie is right there, holding onto my arm, appearing very impatient to get the news. ”What is it, honey? What's the news?!”
I put my hand over the receiver on the phone, and whisper to her, ”Not cancer.” which draws a fired up response! Ellie's yelling and jumping up and down excitedly as I continue to talk with Dr. Mann.
”Thanks again for everything, Dr. Mann.”
”Well, I'm just glad to be able to tell you some good news. Goodbye,” he says politely before hanging up.
”Woohoo! This is great! I knew you were okay!”
”Oh my gosh, this is such a weight lifted off my shoulders. We got to celebrate!”
Ellie furrows her brows at me. ”We'll celebrate after you beat Lester Only! You need to train!”
I chuckle a bit, and get back on the elliptical machine, ”Yes ma'am!”
Thankfully, my condition isn't all that serious. And while there wasn't really much of a chance that it really was cancer, the fact of the matter is that even just that little chance was more than I would ever want to experience or wish upon anyone else. I've learned a lot from this ordeal, but I think the biggest thing I learned was that I don't always have to rely on myself. There's plenty of people in this world who love and support me that I know that whatever I face in life, I won't have to face it alone.[/i]
Depeche Mode's “Spacewalker” plays as the words FIRST CONTACT flash across the screen in bold, blue letters across the starry background. The video then switches to Biggs and Ellie seated across from one another with a small table in between them. The room is made up to look like the set of “Inside the Actor's Studio,” not intentionally, but it looks that way regardless. Thankfully, Ellie does not have a James Lipton costume on. Rather, Biggs is dressed in a sensible blue polo and khaki shorts, while Ellie has on a summery light purple dress. The Overdrive Championship belt is placed on the table between them.
”Ladies and gentlemen, one and all, welcome to the greatest wrestling web show on the internet, featuring the greatest Overdrive Champion in APW history, none other than me, Biggs! I'm joined by my lovely wife Ellie today, and we will be discussing my upcoming match with Lester Only at Test for the Best. At the end of the program, I will be doing a brief Q&A session with e-mails sent in by viewers of this show, which Ellie will be reading to me. But before I get to that part, there were a few things I wanted to get off my chest in regards to you, Lester.”
“Looking back at my previous show, I realized that it seemed a little bit like a Level-One love fest! You even brought that point up yourself, Lester, saying that all my words were rendered moot because you felt that I did not respect you as a human being. Well forgive me for sounding a bit rude, but that was exactly the point! You see, Lester, in regards to Level-One, I have nothing but the utmost respect. As a competitor, Level-One was second to none. Level-One has been such a dominant force in APW since my first day here, that it would be asinine to not acknowledge how great of a competitor Level-One was. Lester Only, on the other hand, Lester Only I just simply can't respect him in the same way I could respect Level-One. Because whereas Level-One could care less what people thought of him, where Level-One would do whatever he could to stay on top, Lester Only won't go to those same lengths. Sure, the technical skill is just as rock solid as ever, but the intangibles, the unexplainable qualities that made Level-One so great just aren't there anymore! Lester, I would never, under any circumstances, knock your wrestling skill. What I will knock, however, is the way you conduct yourself.”
“It's almost sad how much you play up to the fans, acting like a little lost puppy, desperate for love and adoration. The old Level-One didn't need that, much less want it, but Lester Only, well, you're hungry for the next fix that you can get from the fans. And while that might motivate you for the short term, just remember, Lester, the fans are a very fickle bunch. As I brought up a couple of weeks ago, had I pulled off my sneak attack on you a few months ago, I would have been cheered as a hero. I would have instantly become a fan favorite, simply because I was able to pull a fast one on Level-One. But since I did it to Lester Only, instead, it made me Public Enemy #1. And this is despite all the good will I built up with the fans during our tour of Australia. I went from being the guy who was largely viewed as gutty and courageous for fighting through my broken arm, to the most vilified man in APW! These fans can turn on you in a heartbeat, Lester Only, and when they do, how will you respond? Will you continue to try and be this bastion of good you've been trying to make yourself out to be, or will you let Level-One come back? Will you uphold a rigid in-ring code of honor, or will allow your true self to show once more?”
“The simple fact of the matter is that right now, Lester Only, you are lying about who you truly are. You're trying to dismiss your true nature, trying to force yourself to be a goodie two-shoes, to the point where it's painfully obvious. If anyone's the hypocrite, it's you, Lester Only. I can say that I respect Level-One and then perform the actions that I did against you with a clear conscience, because in all honesty, there's nothing to respect about Lester Only. Not a blessed thing. You can call me two-faced all you want, I've been honest about the fact that I'm a Machiavellian. The ends justify the means. That's my world view. And with such a view, there's no possible way I can be called a liar, because you know that I will do whatever it is that will benefit me the most in any given situation. It doesn't bring me very many friends, but it has brought me a lot of success so far.”
“You talk about how much I blab on and on about how awesome I am, how I just march around, tooting my own horn. You went as far as to say that my words are bull crap, only in less polite terms. But I got to ask you, Lester, how are you different? Sure you may be framing them in the 'I'm so humble now' persona that you're masquerading in front of the fans, but the fact remains, you harp on your abilities and trump your own accomplishments just as much as I do! And again, I don't begrudge you this. To quote a rowdy Scotsman, they say you shouldn't toot your own horn, but I say, who knows the tune better? What I do begrudge you on is the fact that you're taking me to task for something you do yourself, which is yet another example of your hypocrisy.”
“The fact is, Lester Only, if you were being truthful in your attempts to become in your mind, a better man, I would applaud you from where I sit right now. I'd say good for you, and root you on. A little personal growth never hurt anyone. But when it's inherently false, when President Jeff has to question you about what side you're really playing, well, that just speaks poorly on your attempts. No self betterment can come from something that is inherently dishonest. When we were in Australia, I didn't change anything in my behavior, I made no changes to who I fundamentally was. The fans just decided that they liked me, and wanted to cheer me. Teaming with C.J. Gates briefly didn't hurt in that regard either. But unlike you, Lester, I remained true to myself, taking the opportunities that I needed to when they came. I didn't create a radical new persona to try and persuade the fans to think that I was a swell guy. People know that I follow Machiavelli's law, and that I don't care whether they cheer me or boo me. But you, Lester, you care too much what others think. And it's hurt your credibility as a competitor.”
“A few weeks ago, when I gave you the chance to take a free shot at me, I wasn't just giving you an opportunity to even the score between us, I was offering you a chance to reclaim your true nature. Instead, you just gave me a wedgie. And while the fans certainly ate it up, it was a matter where you delivered the insult, without the injury. It was then that I knew the real Level-One was no longer with us. The person that was Level-One might as well be shoved in a box and buried in the backyard, because the Level-One that I could respect, the Level-One that I knew was being honest with me and the world about who he was, and didn't give a care what others thought, that Level-One is buried, dead and gone.”
“In his place we have a pale imitation in Lester Only, who may walk the same, talk the same, heck even wrestle the same. The difference is that you just seem to lack the killer instinct that made you one of the most dominant forces wrestling has ever seen! You've put a handicap on yourself, Lester, and I intend to exploit it even moreso than I already have. The fact that I've been able to get away with standing over your downed body not once, but twice, raising both my APW Overdrive Championship and your APW Undisputed Championship is unequivocal proof that you're a changed man, and for the worse. If you were half the man you used to be, Lester, I would have never gotten that second chance to smack you with both belts! It's as simple as that!”
Biggs pauses to adjust his cast a bit before continuing to speak.
”Another thing I didn't appreciate, Lester, was how quick you were to dismiss my ability to hurt you. You started your little interview with Hannah Storm by saying, and I quote:
Biggs can't hurt me...”
Biggs holds up his cast, and points to it.
”Let me be the first to remind you, Lester Only, that this rock solid cast on my arm is perfectly legal for me to use within the context of a match. And while you may not be responsible for the initial break, that was Khaos' doing, you did capitalize on it to make me tap out in the Fatal Four-way Match a few weeks after RassleMania. I'm not begrudging the fact that you took advantage of my injury for your personal gain, because frankly, I would have done the same, but I'll be honest, you certainly made the healing process that much longer by further aggravating my injury, and as such, you're partially responsible for the fact that I get to enter our match with a legal weapon!”
“Also, Lester, don't forget my considerable skill in submission wrestling. I do realize that going into our match, it'll probably be next to impossible to make you tap out. You're just too stubborn to do that, but the fact of the matter is, Lester Only, even if I'm not able to make you hit the mat in rapid succession three times, I'm still more than capable of dishing out enough pain to make you think twice about making such a bogus claim in the future.”
“I also take exception to the fact that you think I'm scared of you Lester Only, that I'm somehow afraid of losing to you. The fact of the matter is that you said it best in your prior promo, Lester, that going into this match, I really do have nothing to lose! All the pundits, all the fans, and even yourself, have placed the odds so far in your favor that in their minds, it will be a minor miracle if I'm simply able to hang with you in that ring. But you know darn well what I'm capable of, Lester. The fact that I left you lying in the ring two out of the last three Overdrives is proof that I can, and will take you out, and I don't mean for a steak dinner.”
“There's no debate, Lester, that you've had more success here in APW and in Experts affiliated feds than I have. But just because you've had more opportunities than me doesn't mean that I'm inferior to you. So far, the facts simply state that in one-on-one competition, you've gotten the better of me. I can't, nor will I, argue with that fact. But it was almost two years ago, and I know in these past two years, we've both changed and grown so much. But I'd be willing to say that I've grown more than you. Because back then, you were already on top, Lester. The amount that you've needed to grow to be where you are today isn't that much, really. You've just had to grown enough to stay ahead of the competition. Me, on the other hand, I've grown by leaps and bounds! They say that you learn more from your defeats than your victories, and as much as I am ashamed to admit that I've lost more than you have, Lester, the fact is, I've been able to learn so much more than you. Would I have rather not had to learn those lessons the hard way? You bet, but it's a sign of maturity to acknowledge that those defeats have helped to shape me into the wrestler I am today. Back then, I knew I was not ready for a match of this caliber, and I knew it. But now, now I can go into our match with full confidence that if nothing else, I will give you absolutely everything I've got, and if that's enough to beat you, then awesome, I will achieved my goal of becoming the APW Undisputed Champion. If not, then I'll simply have to take a step back, reassess where I'm at, and come up with a new plan of attack. And I can be pretty confident that it won't take another two years before I get another crack at that belt! I won't need any padding for the supposed free fall you think I may take if I do somehow end up losing to you, Lester, because the fact of the matter is that even if I come up short at Test for the Best, it's not exactly like I'm going back to square one. And that most certainly won't be the case.”
“Back to the point you made about vacating my Overdrive Championship, it really does speak of how highly you think of yourself that the only examples you were able to give of a person actually doing that involved yourself.”
Biggs stands up in his chair, and begins to mockingly clap his hands together, with a perturbed look on his face.
”Well whoop-de-freakin'-doo! Just because Level-One does it doesn't mean it's the only way to do things! Your problem, Lester, is that you seem to be operating in a world of absolutes. In your world view, you're absolutely right all of the time, and anyone who disagrees with you, well they must be absolutely wrong. Sure, you may have become a fixture in the main event scene here in APW, Lester, but you are not the only person who matters in this company! You have a very narrow world view, Lester, one that doesn't allow you to see that sometimes, people do what they have to do in order to get by. You bring up the fact that you've been challenging me to a match for some time now, wanting me to take a crack at your title, and you call me a coward for not accepting it on your terms. Let's just ignore the fact that you didn't even get the title until near the end of March, and that I had my commitments as Overdrive Champion to tend to. Just because I decided to uphold my word from when I won the Overdrive Championship that I would do whatever it took to elevate it back up to respectability, that makes me a coward? I don't think so, Lester! Don't you remember what I said after my match at RassleMania? Allow me to refresh your memory!”
The video switches to footage of Cindy Shannon interviewing Biggs following the Overdrive Championship Scramble at RassleMania.
Biggs: The way I see it, the only thing that Sally Talfourd or Level-One can take solace in is the fact that I won't be coming after whichever one of them wins the main event tonight until I lose this title, and if tonight's any indication, it'll be a long while before that happens, because I'm quite simply OUT OF THIS WORLD!
It switches back to Biggs and Ellie.
”The fact is Lester, I wasn't even going to think about challenging you until somebody else was able to rise up and defeat me for this title. And when that didn't happen, well, it kind of forced my hand. You had no clear contender for your title at Test for the Best, and neither did I. And then it clicked in my mind, 'Why don't I take Lester Only up on his offer? Why don't I challenge him for his title?' And I responded in the way that I felt would make the biggest impact. It wasn't personal, Lester, it was just the way that seemed best at the time. It seemed like the way that would be the most advantageous. But you calling me a coward for giving you what you wanted? Well, that's just rude, Lester, and by doing so, you made things personal. And when things get personal for me, that's bad news for my opponents.”
“Since you were kind enough to bring up my first Overdrive Title Match with Shadow, I think now would be as good a time as any to remind you how fiercely personal the feud between Shadow and myself really was. You saw the hatred and venom we had towards each other as we battled inside that steel cage! You saw the lengths the two of us were willing to go to in order to get the better of the other. Heck, I hated Shadow so much, that I was willing to help set his good buddy, Slade Craven, on fire by dousing him with a SuperSoaker full of lighter fluid! And when I was in the ring with Shadow, I didn't care about the fact that he was bigger than me, or that he was stronger than me. I just cared about one thing, proving that I was better than him!”
“Same thing with Pence Weatherlight. Now granted, I didn't endear myself to him by forcing him to defend the APW Undisputed Championship against you and Bryan Payne when he tried to retire with the belt, but the same basic facts applied. He was bigger than me. Stronger than me. More physically gifted in most every way imaginable. And yet, when it was all said and done, I utterly embarrassed him at Christmas Chaos 2010, emphatically defeating him to claim my third Overdrive Championship.”
“And with you, Lester, by making things personal, you have opened yourself up to whole mess of problems that you otherwise wouldn't have. Rather than being able to go into our match simply as friends, trying to test our skill against each other, instead, we must go in as enemies. I really wish that I didn't have to feel such ill will towards you, but you have given me no choice. Rather than accepting the fact that I merely did what I had to do, rather than accepting the fact that I acknowledged that I'd one day be coming after you, after I had completed my commitment to restoring honor and prestige to my Overdrive Championship, you had to bemoan me and mock me, saying that the only reason Ryan Ruckus got the shot at Mayhem instead of me was that I was scared. That's a bold face lie, Lester Only, just like your supposed self betterment. If you want to know the truth, Lester, I was never even approached by President Jeff about possibly fighting you for the Undisputed Championship at Mayhem, as you seemed to imply that I was. And neither have I been approached by President Jeff about dropping my Overdrive Championship before our match, so all your little whining and crying about how I'm not being a 'man' and forfeiting my title before facing you is really quite pointless. You're just making noise, attacking me for no other reason than you need something about me to talk down. You've been grasping for straws, Lester, and by doing so, you're showing your desperation.”
“Because, Lester, even though you acknowledged that you think I can beat you, you were quick to say that it was a rare chance. Did you ever stop to think that the reason it's such a rare chance is because we're rarely opponents in the ring? When we only face each other once every two years, there's not much of a chance for me to beat you, or for that matter, for you to beat me.”
“You tried to deride me by claiming there was a lackluster build up to our match, but the fact is, Lester, if it was lackluster, and I don't think it was, you'd be just as responsible for it as me! But there's something to be said in the simplicity of how it did go down, Lester. Because simply put, I left you laid out in that ring twice in the span of three weeks! Who else in this business can say that they've gotten the better of Lester Only twice in three weeks? Not very many people, Lester, not very many at all! The fact is, we didn't need a huge build up to hype this match. Sure, it may not draw as much renown as a Lester Only versus Sally Talfourd or Lester Only versus Ryan Ruckus, but the fact of the matter is that it's a fresh match that hasn't been seen much before, and certainly not for the APW Undisputed Championship. Anyways, the match should never be about the hype, but rather, the quality of it, and I know that you and I will tear down the house as we tear down one another!”
“But back to what I was saying, the one week where you did get the better of me by giving me that wedgie, I feel that I made a very strong point that night, that being that you are not the same Level-One who beat me two years ago. Heck, you're not even the same Level-One who won your first three APW Undisputed Championships. You are a changed man, one who is more concerned about entertaining the fans than doing the thing that will benefit him the most. As I said before, Lester, you're handicapping yourself, and that is an incredibly dangerous thing to do against the likes of me! Because any hesitation on your part, any moral dilemmas that cause you to take pause, anything of the sort, I will take advantage of! It only takes three seconds to win a championship in this business, and the fact is, Lester, no matter how much better you think you are than me, I just need to be better than you for three seconds!”
“It doesn't matter who's defeated me in the past, it doesn't matter who may have gotten the better of me, the fact is, if I do manage to beat you and win the APW Undisputed Championship, Lester Only, nobody will be able to say that I didn't earn it. I have worked my hardest over the past two years, putting in countless hours in that ring and in the back to make sure that I have become the absolute best wrestler I can be, and I don't feel like all my hard work is in vain. I have made APW a better place simply by being here. And so have you, because John Green and Pence aren't anybody's ideas of quality champions, but the point is that this match on Sunday, July 3rd, is the culmination of my two plus years here in APW. Everything I've done up to this point has been leading me to here. My hellish feud with Shadow over the Overdrive Championship, my run as APW General Manager, my great showing in the Experts Extreme Tournament: Siberia, defeating Pence to become the only ever three time Overdrive Champion, successfully defending my Overdrive Championship in a Scramble Match at RassleMania, and overcoming a broken freakin' arm to retain my title against Khaos, all of these things and so much more have led me to the point where when we step into the ring this Sunday, I am confident that I'm ready to not just hang with you, Lester, but to take your title, and make it mine!”
“We're starting to run out of time here, so I guess I should quickly get to some of those e-mails. Ellie, if you'd be so kind as to read the first one.”
Ellie holds up a piece of paper, reading from it, ”First question, Biggs, this one comes from Larry J. in Bismark, North Dakota. He writes: 'Biggs, considering your recent cancer scare, how has that affected your preparation for your match against Lester Only, and how will it affect the match?'”
”The good news is that it was not cancer. That being said, I feel that the whole experience has made me a stronger person, both mentally and physically. I really do feel like a miracle took place in my life when the doctor gave me the results, and despite how scarey it was, I'm grateful for the experience. In regards to how it affected my training, I guess I did lose a few days to it as I was lost in thought and quite simply couldn't focus on anything else, but once I got my mind set on wrestling Lester, it really became more of an inspiration, because it showed that no matter how long the supposed odds, there's always a way. And to answer your question about how it will affect my match with Lester, not at all. It's not like he can punch me in the area and make it become cancerous, so as it stands, it's just a normal bump or bruise, of which I'd have plenty anyways.”
Also, to further elaborate, even if I did have cancer, I wouldn't want Lester to show me any sympathy or hold back in any way. The fact is, we are fighting for the APW Undisputed Championship, and anything less than his best would be an insult to not only me, but the title.”
”Okay, next question. This is from Martha W. in Portland, Oregon. She asks: 'What did you think of Lester sharing those videos concerning the history between the two of you?'”
”Well, I would begin by saying that it's almost a bit flattering that he would keep those kind of tapes, but considering our former friendship, I guess it's not outside of reason to see why he did. What I find fishy about it is the fact that he waited until now to put them out. I've been very vocal about my support of Lester Only, or rather, Level-One over the years, and to see that he's just now publicly acknowledging that he's done the same for me, well, that implies that he's only revealing it to somehow try and give himself a competitive edge. The fact is, I already knew all that stuff, so it has no bearing on our match. I'm just saying...”
”Last question, from Christopher C., he didn't say where from. He writes: 'Biggs, what do you think about all of Lester's insults directed towards your beautiful wife? She's so much sweeter than he gives her credit for!' Oh thanks for the kind words, Christopher!”
”Wait a sec! Christopher C, as in Chris Cyrus? Nuts, Chris, if you are the one who wrote that question, please, return my call. Onto the question, the fact is that Lester's constant insults of my wife, as well as his assertions that I am homosexual, are merely baseless insults that are further proof of the fact that he hasn't really changed as much as he says he has. If he really has become a different man, he wouldn't rely on such sophomoric humor that not only panders to the lowest common denominator, but also is just in bad taste. Lester, I've never said a word about your lady friends, whom you don't have the decency to marry before you get them knocked up, so please, show me the same courtesy.”
“Well, that's all the questions I have time to answer. In closing, Lester, I want you to know one thing going into our match at Test for the Best, and that one thing is that I am not scared of you! You may seemingly have every advantage in the book, size, strength, the fact that my speed advantage is all but negated against you, not to mention that you're going into this match as the Undisputed Champion. I have to beat you, but you don't beat me. You've been the top dog in APW ever since I got here. But let me remind you, every dog has his day, which also means there's several days that aren't his, wait, that sounded clunky, let me rephrase that. The fact is, Lester, that you've been the king of APW for a long time. You've been the head of the pack. Put the simple truth is that I want what you have. I want the APW Undisputed Championship more than anything else I've ever wanted in my life, and I'll be damned if I mess up this chance I have at getting what I ultimately desire! I've worked too hard and too long to be stopped here, and it's going to take a miracle for you to deny me now! And let's be honest, the miracles have been on my side as of late, haven't they?”
“I fully intend on making history at Test for the Best by becoming the first competitor in APW to hold two titles at once, and what's more, to be the first to hold the top two belts, the APW Undisputed Championship and the APW Overdrive Championship! Lester, I know that I will have to wrestle the match of my life in order to wrest that Undisputed Title from you, but you know that you'll have to wrestle the match of yours to retain! There's no doubt in my mind that we're going to have an amazing match at Test for the Best, and that whoever does end up winning the tournament will have their work cut out for them. Because they will have to prepare themselves to face ME!”
Biggs flashes his trademark smirk.
”Why? Because I'm quite simply OUT OF THIS WORLD!”
Biggs has a confident look on his face, while Ellie claps for him as First Contact comes to a close. The APW logo and copyright flash across the bottom of the screen as it fades to black.
Day One
Yesterday, I found out that I could potentially have cancer. A very small chance, mind you, but still, it's as scary a thought as there is. I don't know how to describe how I'm feeling right now other than being both worried and feeling utterly helpless. It doesn't help at all that I won't know the results of my biopsy for another week, leaving me to wonder whether I really have it or not for seven days. If today is any indication, it's going to be a really long week.
I'm packing my suitcase, getting ready to head out to the airport to make the next Overdrive in St. John, New Brunswick. It's taking a lot longer than normal, because in all honesty my mind just isn't in it. I look a pair of rolled up socks sitting next to my suitcase, and just let them sit there while I get lost in my thoughts.
What if it is cancer? I mean, that's the worst case scenario. Absolute worst case. Actually, that's not true. The worst case is that it could be cancer, and that I die from it. That's the absolute worst case...[/i]
”What are you thinking about, honey?” Ellie asks. I didn't even realize she was there.
”Nothing. Nothing at all,” I lie. She didn't see me crying yesterday when I was talking to my Grandma. By the time she came back in the house, I had already composed myself, and put on a strong face for her. I know that she's already worried enough about me, and I don't want to worry her any further, especially considering her recent mental issues. She needs me to still be strong for her in that area. I can't afford to not be.
”Really? You've been staring at that pair of socks for the better part of five minutes. Now I know they're nice socks, but you've got to be thinking about something else to look at them for five minutes!” she says with a giggle. Her eyes are lighting up like they did in the old days, before we hit our rough patch. It's a good sign that she's at least getting better.
”It's nothing, really. I'm just thinking...”
”About the possibility of it begin cancer, aren't you?” Ellie says point blank.
I hesitate to answer, but the look on her face tells me that she already knows. ”Yeah. Yeah I am. I think that I'm finally to the point where...” I stop myself before I finish that thought. I don't want to put this burden on Ellie. I have to be strong for her sake.
She looks at me quizzically, motioning with her hands for me to spit it out. ”The point where what?” she asks, trying to prod me along.
I just sigh and keep my mouth shut. I turn back to the pair of socks, and grab them, throwing them into my suitcase. Ellie asks me again, ”The point where what?”
I can't shut her out anymore. I can't put on the happy face. I can already feel the tears begin to well up in my eyes, I can feel my mouth start to sputter, and before long, I cough out the response, ”That I'm worried that I could have cancer, and that I could die, and that I would leave you behind! And it's the scariest thing in the world!”
I break down crying, and get to my knees on the floor. I feel so weak right now, so pathetic. Here I am, a grown man, crying like a baby, and I don't even know if I have cancer or not! It's just a possibility at this point, and the truth is, more than likely, it's not cancer! Still, I can't help but feel the way I'm feeling right.
Ellie crouches down and joins me on the floor, putting both arms around me. She sits there with me, hugging me, rocking me back and forth, trying to comfort me. ”It's okay to cry. You don't have to be the strong one all the time...”
”I never said I was trying to be,” I stammer through the tears.
”But I know you are, Gary. You always are. And it's wearing down on you. I can tell. Please, this once, let me be the strong one for you. I can handle it,” she reassures me.
”But aren't you scared too?” I ask, foolishly, it seems like.
She looks at me with her beautiful eyes, and I see a strength in her that I haven't seen in a long time. She responds with great candor, ”I'm terrified. I don't want to lose you. But I cried my tears out yesterday, and today, I'm here for you. If you'll have me, I want to go to New Brunswick with you, because I think you're going to need me.”
”Oh-oh-okay...” I mumble. It's the first time Ellie will be going with me on the road since we got married. I haven't had to face the guys with her by my side, and they haven't had a chance to taunt her, to get at her, but right now, I need her moral support. ”Thank you.”
~*~*~*~
Thursday, June 16
Day Two
I shouldn't be here. I really shouldn't be here right now. My mind is not fully with me, and I know the moment that I go out to that ring, if I'm not fully there, in that moment, I could get seriously injured. Not that it would be any worse than having cancer, but the fact remains, right now, wrestling is the furthest thing from my mind. And considering that I'm gearing up to face Level-One for the APW Undisputed Championship in a little over two weeks, that's a very bad thing.
As Ellie and I walk around backstage at the Harbor Station, we get a few weird looks, a couple of double takes. I guess Ellie being backstage at an APW event is now considered an odd occurrence, because we're largely being left alone. It's about two hours before show time, and I really need to talk to President Jeff. I haven't told him about my situation, because I felt like it was something I should tell him in person. Heck, I haven't told anyone about what's happening to me. It's none of their business. Those that would offer support aren't really close to me anyways, so it wouldn't mean that much to me. Except for maybe Sally. But then there'd be the whole issue of Ellie not getting along with Sally. It's best to just keep this between Ellie, Jeff, and myself. Before long, we reach Jeff's office, and I knock on the door.
”Come in...” I hear Jeff say from the other side of the door.
I open the door and walk into his office. There's some sensible plants, and a hockey sweater that has the number 1 and Jeff's name stitched into it. Jeff looks up from his paper work and greets Ellie and myself. ”Biggs, Ellie, feel free to have a seat. What brings you to my office?” he says nonchalantly.
”Well, Jeff, I've got something very serious to talk with you about, and I wanted to do it in person,” I explain as I sit down.
”Serious, how so?” Jeff asks.
”Jeff, what I tell you right now, I don't want shared with any of the guys.”
”You have my word.”
I look across the desk at my boss, and I'm finding it difficult to say the words that I know need to be said. I try to compose myself, and take a few deep breaths while Ellie holds my hand. Finally, I muster up the courage to speak, ”Jeff, I don't really know how to say this, but I got some bad news from my doctor two days ago, and there's a chance that I could have cancer.”
Jeff's face just drops. It takes him a moment to process the information, but after a short while, he replies, ”That's just awful. Do you need tonight off? I'm more than willing to give you the night off. We've got time to change the main event.”
”No Jeff, I got to be out there. If I no show tonight, people are going to wonder why. I want to keep this whole thing on the down low until I know for sure if it's cancer or not, plus, it might be good for me to take my mind off of things to get to compete.” I calmly explain. I don't believe myself, though. Right now, the last thing I should be doing is going out to that ring. But the fact of the matter is that I have a title shot against Lester Only at the Test for the Best pay-per-view, and if I no show tonight's match, it would only help to serve Level-One's bogus claims that I'm afraid of him. ”It's the go home show before the pay-per-view. It would set a horrible precedent for me to miss it.”
”Okay, that's understandable. But if it is the worst, and it does end up being cancer, I would have to assume that you'll be needing to take some time off to deal with it,” Jeff says, with a very concerned look on his face.
”Yes, yes I would. In fact, if it is cancer, I would certainly have to pull out from my title match with Level-One at Test for the Best. I hope it doesn't come to that, but I have to put my health first.”
”Completely understandable. It won't be a problem at all if that's the case.”
”Thanks, Jeff. I know we haven't always seen eye to eye, but I appreciate your offer. I'll keep you posted,” I reply as I extend my hand over his desk for a handshake.
President Jeff accepts the hand shake, and Ellie and I get up from our chairs, and make our way towards the door. As we're about to open the door, Jeff calls out, ”It's not going to be cancer! I know it!” He gives me a thumbs up.
I smirk a bit, and give him a half hearted thumbs up in return. ”I hope you're right.”
A few hours later, I'm standing over the downed Lester Only, with both my APW Overdrive Championship and the APW Undisputed Championship belts in my arms, raising them high above my head as the crowd rains down all their hatred and venom upon me. And even though this is what I live for, even though I've gotten the better of Lester Only here tonight, I can't help but think in the back of my mind that this very well could be my crowning moment here in APW, because if it does turn out to be cancer, I won't have the chance to face Lester for his title at Test for the Best. I have to enjoy this moment, I have to cherish it, because it could easily be my last in an APW ring.
*~*~*~*
Friday, June 17
Day Three
Today has been a very emotional day for me. Realizing that last night could have possibly been my final appearance in APW for some time brings a certain kind of pain to my heart that I haven't felt since the CJMB closed down. Your last day with a wrestling promotion is always hard, but I've never been in a position where my health has been the root cause of me having to leave. I've been through fed closures, changes of regimes, and I've even lost a loser leaves town match before, but never have I had to look a boss in the eyes and tell him I could not compete due to issues with my body. I sincerely hope that last night wasn't my last night, and it makes me want the news of what's actually happening to me to come all the quicker, so I can get on with my life.
It's very late at night, and Ellie and I have just gotten home from our flight back from Canada. I let her carry the Overdrive Championship as I drag our suitcases in, pulling both with my good arm. It's been a long day, thanks to not just the travel but also the struggles that have been on my mind. I'm still not at peace with the fact that I may have cancer. Still, I can't wait to open the door, go upstairs, and fall into bed. Ellie goes on ahead of me to unlock the door, and as she ventures in, I hear a surprised gasp! I drop the bags immediately and rush in, worried that there could be somebody in there with Ellie, and as I rush in, the lights pop on and I hear a loud “SURPRISE!” As my eyes adjust to the sudden brightness, I see my parents, Ellie's parents, John and Carol, as well as my Grandma all standing there in the entry way. Ellie is just as surprised as I am, and my mom is quick to come up and give me a hug, followed closely by my Grandma.
”Wow! What are all of you doing here? Not that I'm not happy to see all you, but isn't it a bit past your bedtime, Grandma?” I say jokingly.
”Well, sweetie, we thought you could use some cheering up!” Grandma exclaims, giving me a sloppy kiss on the cheek that only a grandmother can get away with!
”Thank you. I'm so encouraged by all of you just being here. I should go out and grab the bags.”
”Don't worry about it, son. John and I will go grab them,” my dad says as he and John head out the door. Both of them give me hearty pats on the back as they pass by.
Once they're back, mom leads us to the kitchen, where there's a cake that decorated with both the Overdrive Championship and the APW Undisputed Championship drawn in the icing. There's also a bucket of Cookies & Cream Ice Cream.
”Holy smokes! That's quite the cake! Don't you think we should wait until I actually, y'know, know if I'm going to be fighting for it before you put it on a cake for me?” I really do like the cake, but I do think it's a bit premature for this kind of a celebration. However, I do love Cookies & Cream Ice Cream, so I might be able to forgive my folks for them jumping the gun.
”Well, honey, whether you get to fight for the title or not, you're a champion in our book!” my mom pipes in.
”That, and it's not going to be cancer anyways!” Carol adds.
I can't help but smile at their optimism. Personally, I think it's unfounded at this point, but who am I to ruin a good time by being gloomy. I thank everyone for the cake, and we go on to have an excellent evening that almost takes my mind off of things.
Almost.
~*~*~*~
Saturday, June 18
Day Four
I think I'm doing better emotionally, physically, and otherwise. Ellie's been really helpful in just encouraging me and showing me love, as is the rest of my family. Even though I'm still scared to death about maybe having cancer, at least I know I'm not alone in facing it. But the fact remains that I'm still worried out of my mind.
My folks all spent the night last night, and after a hearty breakfast of pancakes, sausage, bacon, eggs and biscuits, the women take care of the kitchen. Despite my best efforts to offer help, they won't let me. John and my dad are out on the porch, probably talking politics, which they disagree upon, but have a good time picking on each other about anyways. I understandably haven't been keeping up as well as I would need to in order to join their conversation, at least competently, so I decide instead to go to the den. I turn on the big screen TV, and pop in one of my favorite movies, Up, into my PS3.
I hold it together just fine until it gets to the montage of Carl and Ellie's married life together.
I turn the movie off as tears begin to well in my eyes. This part always gets me when I'm watching it normally, but under the circumstances, it has a poignancy to it that's overwhelming. As I watched the events unfold, saw their entire life summed up in a little over four minutes, to see how they grew old together, I can't help but think that's what I want for myself and Ellie. And yet, I might not get the chance to do that. Sure, Ellie died at the end of the montage, but at least her and Carl got to have a nice long life together. I might not have that luxury. There's nothing I want more than to be able to spend a long, healthy life with Ellie (my Ellie, not Carl's), and I can't help but fell bitter that I might be denied that. I eject the Blu Ray and put it back on the shelf before making my way up to my bedroom and shutting the door.
A little bit later, Ellie eventually makes her way up. She sees me hunched beneath the covers, with my back turned to the door. I hear her speaking from behind me.
”There you are! We've been looking all over for you, Gary! Are you doing okay?” she asks with a chirp in her voice.
”It's not fair...”
”Oh sweetie...” she says with a sad tone in her voice as she comes over and sits on the bed next to me. She pats me on the back from behind. ”I know, baby, it doesn't seem fair, but unfortunately, what we're going through right now is merely the hand we've been dealt. We have to deal with it.”
”We should be able to grow old together, like Carl and Ellie did. We shouldn't have to worry about the fact that I could die at such a young age. I'm only 26 freaking years old!” I pout, yelling loudly. I'm to a point where I'm not so much scared as I'm pissed off at the world. I shouldn't have to be dealing with this. I've taken great care of myself, and I'm really young, to boot! Why me? Why me? This is all that I can think at this time. Ellie's trying her best to give me comfort, but it's not working very well.
”When we got married, I vowed to stay with you through good times and bad. I know that you've already gone through the bad times for me, so now I'm going to go through the bad times with you. Even if it ends up being cancer, Gary, and you end up being taken from me too soon, I'll stand by you no matter what...” she reassures me, continuing to pat me on the back.
After a few moments, I whimper in response, ”I don't want you to be hurt like that...”
”But I'd be willing to be hurt for you.” Ellie whispers to me. At this point, I turn to her, and see the sincerity in her eyes. She's being honest about this. She absolutely means what she's saying. ”No matter how long our adventure together is, I will be glad for the time that we do get to have together. And if you ask me, I think it's going to be a long one...”
She gives me a kiss on the forehead, and just sits there with me. We end up sitting there in silence for the better part of an hour, just enjoying being with one another. I can tell in her face that she's saddened, but at the same point, grateful. Seeing her poise, seeing how well she's holding it together, I can't help but feel a little bad at how selfish I'm acting. After a few more moments, I look to her and say, ”Yeah, I think it will be a long adventure! Hopefully you don't get tired of me!”
*~*~*~*
Sunday, June 19
Day Five
After my time with Ellie yesterday, I think I'm truly at peace with whatever the news is. If it's not cancer, awesome, then life will continue as normal. But if it is, then sure, there will be some challenges, but I have a few things to take solace in. One, it would be on my back and not near any vital organs, which would make surgery on it simple, if not easy. (Or at least as easy as surgery can be.) Secondly, no matter what, Ellie will be there with me, and that's good enough for me.[/i]
It's Sunday morning, and I find myself in a place I haven't been in a long time, and that's my old church. My Grandma insisted on going to church, and I didn't really know of anywhere else to go, so we're seated in the back. My good friend, Jay Whitaker, is preaching the sermon today, and I notice that he's on crutches behind the pulpit. As he begins to speak, he mentions the fact that he tore his Achilles tendon, and that the title of his sermon is Lesson's Learned While Limping.
”So I have three main points for today's lesson. The first point is You Never Know. The second is You Never Know, and the third, any guesses?” Jay says in his normal playful tone.
”You Never Know!” the congregation says back to Jay, drawing some chuckles from the crowd and prompting Jay to grin from ear to ear.
”You're a smarter bunch than we sometimes give you credit for,” Jay jokes before proceeding with his sermon. His first point was that you never know what's going to happen in this life.
”Ain't that the truth,” Ellie says in a low voice as she leans close to me.
”Shhhh! Pay attention in church!” my grandma chides her.
As Jay goes more in depth on his first point, I can't help but look around, and recognize old friends, granted, from behind. I don't really feel like drawing attention to myself, hence the reason we're sitting in the back. Jay eventually gets to his second point, sharing that you never know if something is a blessing or a curse. He reads an excerpt from a Max Lucado book, where it tells the story of an old man who's son breaks his legs trying to break in a wild horse. The whole village claims that the man is cursed. He tells them plainly that they are too quick to judge, and that there's no way that they can definitively make that claim. A week later, their country goes to war, and all the sons are called to serve in what will more than likely be a losing cause. The villagers change their tune, and claim the old man is blessed, because his son will be spared due to his broken legs. Again, the old man says that they can't say that it's a blessing for him, because he is grief stricken for all their sons.
The story makes me think a bit about my situation. It certainly feels like I've been cursed with the specter of cancer, but on the other hand, it has brought my family together, and has helped strengthened mine and Ellie's marriage for the time being. Still, I can't know for sure.
Jay continues on with his sermon, reaching his final point, you never know where help is going to come from. He brings up his recent injury to his Achilles Tendon, and how he's received such an out pouring of help from those in the church. And while he kind of expected that, he went on to share about an experience he had at the hospital, where he had to park several blocks away, and didn't know how to get to the building he needed to. He asked a grounds keeper for directions, but instead the grounds keeper told him to get in his cart and he drove him right to the door where he needed to be! That was something else, for sure! It reminds me of the great support group I have in my family, not to mention President Jeff. Part of me feels guilty for not reaching out to my fellow APW Mega Stars, because right now, I feel there's no doubt in my mind that some of them would be willing to help me out in this situation. As the service comes to a close, Ellie and I quickly duck out, as I don't want Jay to notice that we're there, but my Grandma grabs me by the arm, and holds me back.
”Not so fast, Gary! I want to tell the preacher man that he did a great job! Great sermon!” she corrects me. She drags me by the arm up to the front row where Jay is sitting, talking to some members of the church.
When he notices me, he waves a bit, and asks the folks if he can talk with them later, before turning to me and yelling out, ”GARY! It's great to see you! What brings you to Church today?”
My Grandma butts in, ”I had to drag him out to church today! I go to a church down in Olympia, and since I'm up here visiting him, I told him that he'd better take me to a good church! And that he did! I loved your sermon, Pastor...”
”Please just call me Jay. I'm so glad to hear that! If you don't mind me asking, what prompted your visit?”
”Well, Gary could possibly have cancer, so his parents and myself have spent the weekend up here with him...” Grandma says matter of factually.
”Whoa, whoa, whoa! Did I just hear correctly that Gary might have cancer?” Jay tries to intercede.
I'm almost embarrassed by how much my grandma keeps talking, and a little bit irritated that she volunteered that information without asking me first. ”Yeah Jay, you did. It's a small chance, but still enough of a chance where they wanted to do a biopsy.”
”Oh my gosh! That's horrible! I'm really sorry to hear that. When will you know the results of the biopsy?” Jay asks, clearly upset over the news.
”Hopefully Tuesday.”
”Well, I certainly be praying for the results to be negative...”
”Me too!” Grandma butts in again. ”Well, it was nice to meet you, but we've got to get going if we're going to make the brunch special at Denny's!”
Grandma grabs me by the arm and drags me up the aisle as I wave goodbye to Jay. Ellie follows quickly behind us as Grandma hurries us out to the car.
~*~*~*~
Monday, June 20
Day Six
By this point, I'm just anxious to get the results. I know Doctor Mann won't be calling until tomorrow at the earliest, but I will be honest, there's a part of me that's hoping that he calls tonight. I just want not exactly a sense of closure, but rather a sense of knowing just what the heck is going on. By now, the waiting is the hardest part, because at this point, either I have cancer or not, and worrying about it is not going to change anything.[/i]
Thankfully, my grandma and parents have headed back down to Olympia. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed having them over, but at this point, I need to get serious about training for my match with Lester Only at Test for the Best. Ellie and her mom are out and about running errands while John hangs out with me as I train. He's holding the heavy punching bag for me as I take some hard swings at it.
”Man, Gary, just watching you is making me exhausted! How can you manage to do all of this knowing that you might not even get to fight Lester Only if you do have cancer?”
”I'll be honest, John, those kind of questions aren't helping me! The fact is, if it isn't cancer, than I can't afford to miss this day of training!”
”Well, for what it's worth, I've heard of folks sweating out their sickness through intense exercise! Who knows, this workout could be helping out in more ways than you know!” John says chiperly with a twinkle in his eye.
”That's usually with something minor like a cold. Still, I appreciate the sentiment.” I reply as I continue to work out.
I train for a few more hours, after which John is utterly exhausted. He heads upstairs to rest while I take a seat on the ring apron. There's something that's been eating at me all week, something that I feel like I need to do. As I sit there on the apron, I grab my cell phone, and slide it open, opening up my address book. ”Did I delete it?” I ask myself as I scroll through the names. ”Nope! Still here!” I exclaim as I find the number I'm looking for. I hit the call button and the phone begins to ring.
After a few rings, it goes to the answering machine, prompting me to leave a message.
”Hey Cyrus, it's Biggs. I know it's kind of strange for me to be calling you out of the blue like this, but the fact is that I've been going through some things as of late that have really put things into perspective. I've come the realization that life is too short for me to be holding grudges, especially against one of the guys who I considered to be my best friend at one time. So I just wanted to call to apologize for the way I've treated you since last October. Sure, you and Ellie did me wrong at the time, but I've done you wrong by not being able to forgive you. So I guess what I want to say is I forgive you, and that I want to still be friends. Please feel free to call me back. Bye.”
I hang up the phone, and put it down. That felt good to tell Chris Cyrus that I forgave him. I really should have done this a lot sooner. After all, I was able to forgive Ellie, and she was just as much a part of it as Chris was. I really hope to hear back from him soon.
*~*~*~*
Tuesday, June 21
Day Seven
Today's the day, hopeful, where I'll get the call from Doctor Mann. The way I'm seeing it now, and Jay's sermon on Sunday really helped to put this in perspective, but the way I'm seeing it now is that either way, a miracle will occur. Either there will be a miracle when the doctor calls me back and tells me it's not cancer, or there will be a miracle later when I'm cured of cancer. Ellie really likes this idea, and so do I.
I'm downstairs in my personal gym, on the seventh mile of my ten mile run using my elliptical machine while I watch footage of Lester Only's RassleMania match with Sally Talfourd. Ellie's down here too, using the stationary bike, and taking a much more leisurely pace than I am. As I wipe some sweat from my brow, my phone begins to ring, and I pause the machine to pick it up. I answer it without even looking at the caller ID.
”Hello, this is Gary.”
”Hello, Gary, this is Doctor Mann from the University of Washington Medical Center. I have the results of your biopsy, and want to share them with you,” Dr. Mann says on the other side of the line. His voice doesn't sound somber, which seems like a good sign.
”Hopefully it's good news!”
”It is. The results of the biopsy came back negative. The bump on your back is what we thought it was, a sub-dermal hematoma. It'll be a very minor surgery, one that we can put off for a couple of months if needed.”
As I'm listening to Doctor Mann, Ellie is right there, holding onto my arm, appearing very impatient to get the news. ”What is it, honey? What's the news?!”
I put my hand over the receiver on the phone, and whisper to her, ”Not cancer.” which draws a fired up response! Ellie's yelling and jumping up and down excitedly as I continue to talk with Dr. Mann.
”Thanks again for everything, Dr. Mann.”
”Well, I'm just glad to be able to tell you some good news. Goodbye,” he says politely before hanging up.
”Woohoo! This is great! I knew you were okay!”
”Oh my gosh, this is such a weight lifted off my shoulders. We got to celebrate!”
Ellie furrows her brows at me. ”We'll celebrate after you beat Lester Only! You need to train!”
I chuckle a bit, and get back on the elliptical machine, ”Yes ma'am!”
Thankfully, my condition isn't all that serious. And while there wasn't really much of a chance that it really was cancer, the fact of the matter is that even just that little chance was more than I would ever want to experience or wish upon anyone else. I've learned a lot from this ordeal, but I think the biggest thing I learned was that I don't always have to rely on myself. There's plenty of people in this world who love and support me that I know that whatever I face in life, I won't have to face it alone.[/i]
***
Depeche Mode's “Spacewalker” plays as the words FIRST CONTACT flash across the screen in bold, blue letters across the starry background. The video then switches to Biggs and Ellie seated across from one another with a small table in between them. The room is made up to look like the set of “Inside the Actor's Studio,” not intentionally, but it looks that way regardless. Thankfully, Ellie does not have a James Lipton costume on. Rather, Biggs is dressed in a sensible blue polo and khaki shorts, while Ellie has on a summery light purple dress. The Overdrive Championship belt is placed on the table between them.
”Ladies and gentlemen, one and all, welcome to the greatest wrestling web show on the internet, featuring the greatest Overdrive Champion in APW history, none other than me, Biggs! I'm joined by my lovely wife Ellie today, and we will be discussing my upcoming match with Lester Only at Test for the Best. At the end of the program, I will be doing a brief Q&A session with e-mails sent in by viewers of this show, which Ellie will be reading to me. But before I get to that part, there were a few things I wanted to get off my chest in regards to you, Lester.”
“Looking back at my previous show, I realized that it seemed a little bit like a Level-One love fest! You even brought that point up yourself, Lester, saying that all my words were rendered moot because you felt that I did not respect you as a human being. Well forgive me for sounding a bit rude, but that was exactly the point! You see, Lester, in regards to Level-One, I have nothing but the utmost respect. As a competitor, Level-One was second to none. Level-One has been such a dominant force in APW since my first day here, that it would be asinine to not acknowledge how great of a competitor Level-One was. Lester Only, on the other hand, Lester Only I just simply can't respect him in the same way I could respect Level-One. Because whereas Level-One could care less what people thought of him, where Level-One would do whatever he could to stay on top, Lester Only won't go to those same lengths. Sure, the technical skill is just as rock solid as ever, but the intangibles, the unexplainable qualities that made Level-One so great just aren't there anymore! Lester, I would never, under any circumstances, knock your wrestling skill. What I will knock, however, is the way you conduct yourself.”
“It's almost sad how much you play up to the fans, acting like a little lost puppy, desperate for love and adoration. The old Level-One didn't need that, much less want it, but Lester Only, well, you're hungry for the next fix that you can get from the fans. And while that might motivate you for the short term, just remember, Lester, the fans are a very fickle bunch. As I brought up a couple of weeks ago, had I pulled off my sneak attack on you a few months ago, I would have been cheered as a hero. I would have instantly become a fan favorite, simply because I was able to pull a fast one on Level-One. But since I did it to Lester Only, instead, it made me Public Enemy #1. And this is despite all the good will I built up with the fans during our tour of Australia. I went from being the guy who was largely viewed as gutty and courageous for fighting through my broken arm, to the most vilified man in APW! These fans can turn on you in a heartbeat, Lester Only, and when they do, how will you respond? Will you continue to try and be this bastion of good you've been trying to make yourself out to be, or will you let Level-One come back? Will you uphold a rigid in-ring code of honor, or will allow your true self to show once more?”
“The simple fact of the matter is that right now, Lester Only, you are lying about who you truly are. You're trying to dismiss your true nature, trying to force yourself to be a goodie two-shoes, to the point where it's painfully obvious. If anyone's the hypocrite, it's you, Lester Only. I can say that I respect Level-One and then perform the actions that I did against you with a clear conscience, because in all honesty, there's nothing to respect about Lester Only. Not a blessed thing. You can call me two-faced all you want, I've been honest about the fact that I'm a Machiavellian. The ends justify the means. That's my world view. And with such a view, there's no possible way I can be called a liar, because you know that I will do whatever it is that will benefit me the most in any given situation. It doesn't bring me very many friends, but it has brought me a lot of success so far.”
“You talk about how much I blab on and on about how awesome I am, how I just march around, tooting my own horn. You went as far as to say that my words are bull crap, only in less polite terms. But I got to ask you, Lester, how are you different? Sure you may be framing them in the 'I'm so humble now' persona that you're masquerading in front of the fans, but the fact remains, you harp on your abilities and trump your own accomplishments just as much as I do! And again, I don't begrudge you this. To quote a rowdy Scotsman, they say you shouldn't toot your own horn, but I say, who knows the tune better? What I do begrudge you on is the fact that you're taking me to task for something you do yourself, which is yet another example of your hypocrisy.”
“The fact is, Lester Only, if you were being truthful in your attempts to become in your mind, a better man, I would applaud you from where I sit right now. I'd say good for you, and root you on. A little personal growth never hurt anyone. But when it's inherently false, when President Jeff has to question you about what side you're really playing, well, that just speaks poorly on your attempts. No self betterment can come from something that is inherently dishonest. When we were in Australia, I didn't change anything in my behavior, I made no changes to who I fundamentally was. The fans just decided that they liked me, and wanted to cheer me. Teaming with C.J. Gates briefly didn't hurt in that regard either. But unlike you, Lester, I remained true to myself, taking the opportunities that I needed to when they came. I didn't create a radical new persona to try and persuade the fans to think that I was a swell guy. People know that I follow Machiavelli's law, and that I don't care whether they cheer me or boo me. But you, Lester, you care too much what others think. And it's hurt your credibility as a competitor.”
“A few weeks ago, when I gave you the chance to take a free shot at me, I wasn't just giving you an opportunity to even the score between us, I was offering you a chance to reclaim your true nature. Instead, you just gave me a wedgie. And while the fans certainly ate it up, it was a matter where you delivered the insult, without the injury. It was then that I knew the real Level-One was no longer with us. The person that was Level-One might as well be shoved in a box and buried in the backyard, because the Level-One that I could respect, the Level-One that I knew was being honest with me and the world about who he was, and didn't give a care what others thought, that Level-One is buried, dead and gone.”
“In his place we have a pale imitation in Lester Only, who may walk the same, talk the same, heck even wrestle the same. The difference is that you just seem to lack the killer instinct that made you one of the most dominant forces wrestling has ever seen! You've put a handicap on yourself, Lester, and I intend to exploit it even moreso than I already have. The fact that I've been able to get away with standing over your downed body not once, but twice, raising both my APW Overdrive Championship and your APW Undisputed Championship is unequivocal proof that you're a changed man, and for the worse. If you were half the man you used to be, Lester, I would have never gotten that second chance to smack you with both belts! It's as simple as that!”
Biggs pauses to adjust his cast a bit before continuing to speak.
”Another thing I didn't appreciate, Lester, was how quick you were to dismiss my ability to hurt you. You started your little interview with Hannah Storm by saying, and I quote:
Biggs can't hurt me...”
Biggs holds up his cast, and points to it.
”Let me be the first to remind you, Lester Only, that this rock solid cast on my arm is perfectly legal for me to use within the context of a match. And while you may not be responsible for the initial break, that was Khaos' doing, you did capitalize on it to make me tap out in the Fatal Four-way Match a few weeks after RassleMania. I'm not begrudging the fact that you took advantage of my injury for your personal gain, because frankly, I would have done the same, but I'll be honest, you certainly made the healing process that much longer by further aggravating my injury, and as such, you're partially responsible for the fact that I get to enter our match with a legal weapon!”
“Also, Lester, don't forget my considerable skill in submission wrestling. I do realize that going into our match, it'll probably be next to impossible to make you tap out. You're just too stubborn to do that, but the fact of the matter is, Lester Only, even if I'm not able to make you hit the mat in rapid succession three times, I'm still more than capable of dishing out enough pain to make you think twice about making such a bogus claim in the future.”
“I also take exception to the fact that you think I'm scared of you Lester Only, that I'm somehow afraid of losing to you. The fact of the matter is that you said it best in your prior promo, Lester, that going into this match, I really do have nothing to lose! All the pundits, all the fans, and even yourself, have placed the odds so far in your favor that in their minds, it will be a minor miracle if I'm simply able to hang with you in that ring. But you know darn well what I'm capable of, Lester. The fact that I left you lying in the ring two out of the last three Overdrives is proof that I can, and will take you out, and I don't mean for a steak dinner.”
“There's no debate, Lester, that you've had more success here in APW and in Experts affiliated feds than I have. But just because you've had more opportunities than me doesn't mean that I'm inferior to you. So far, the facts simply state that in one-on-one competition, you've gotten the better of me. I can't, nor will I, argue with that fact. But it was almost two years ago, and I know in these past two years, we've both changed and grown so much. But I'd be willing to say that I've grown more than you. Because back then, you were already on top, Lester. The amount that you've needed to grow to be where you are today isn't that much, really. You've just had to grown enough to stay ahead of the competition. Me, on the other hand, I've grown by leaps and bounds! They say that you learn more from your defeats than your victories, and as much as I am ashamed to admit that I've lost more than you have, Lester, the fact is, I've been able to learn so much more than you. Would I have rather not had to learn those lessons the hard way? You bet, but it's a sign of maturity to acknowledge that those defeats have helped to shape me into the wrestler I am today. Back then, I knew I was not ready for a match of this caliber, and I knew it. But now, now I can go into our match with full confidence that if nothing else, I will give you absolutely everything I've got, and if that's enough to beat you, then awesome, I will achieved my goal of becoming the APW Undisputed Champion. If not, then I'll simply have to take a step back, reassess where I'm at, and come up with a new plan of attack. And I can be pretty confident that it won't take another two years before I get another crack at that belt! I won't need any padding for the supposed free fall you think I may take if I do somehow end up losing to you, Lester, because the fact of the matter is that even if I come up short at Test for the Best, it's not exactly like I'm going back to square one. And that most certainly won't be the case.”
“Back to the point you made about vacating my Overdrive Championship, it really does speak of how highly you think of yourself that the only examples you were able to give of a person actually doing that involved yourself.”
Biggs stands up in his chair, and begins to mockingly clap his hands together, with a perturbed look on his face.
”Well whoop-de-freakin'-doo! Just because Level-One does it doesn't mean it's the only way to do things! Your problem, Lester, is that you seem to be operating in a world of absolutes. In your world view, you're absolutely right all of the time, and anyone who disagrees with you, well they must be absolutely wrong. Sure, you may have become a fixture in the main event scene here in APW, Lester, but you are not the only person who matters in this company! You have a very narrow world view, Lester, one that doesn't allow you to see that sometimes, people do what they have to do in order to get by. You bring up the fact that you've been challenging me to a match for some time now, wanting me to take a crack at your title, and you call me a coward for not accepting it on your terms. Let's just ignore the fact that you didn't even get the title until near the end of March, and that I had my commitments as Overdrive Champion to tend to. Just because I decided to uphold my word from when I won the Overdrive Championship that I would do whatever it took to elevate it back up to respectability, that makes me a coward? I don't think so, Lester! Don't you remember what I said after my match at RassleMania? Allow me to refresh your memory!”
The video switches to footage of Cindy Shannon interviewing Biggs following the Overdrive Championship Scramble at RassleMania.
Biggs: The way I see it, the only thing that Sally Talfourd or Level-One can take solace in is the fact that I won't be coming after whichever one of them wins the main event tonight until I lose this title, and if tonight's any indication, it'll be a long while before that happens, because I'm quite simply OUT OF THIS WORLD!
It switches back to Biggs and Ellie.
”The fact is Lester, I wasn't even going to think about challenging you until somebody else was able to rise up and defeat me for this title. And when that didn't happen, well, it kind of forced my hand. You had no clear contender for your title at Test for the Best, and neither did I. And then it clicked in my mind, 'Why don't I take Lester Only up on his offer? Why don't I challenge him for his title?' And I responded in the way that I felt would make the biggest impact. It wasn't personal, Lester, it was just the way that seemed best at the time. It seemed like the way that would be the most advantageous. But you calling me a coward for giving you what you wanted? Well, that's just rude, Lester, and by doing so, you made things personal. And when things get personal for me, that's bad news for my opponents.”
“Since you were kind enough to bring up my first Overdrive Title Match with Shadow, I think now would be as good a time as any to remind you how fiercely personal the feud between Shadow and myself really was. You saw the hatred and venom we had towards each other as we battled inside that steel cage! You saw the lengths the two of us were willing to go to in order to get the better of the other. Heck, I hated Shadow so much, that I was willing to help set his good buddy, Slade Craven, on fire by dousing him with a SuperSoaker full of lighter fluid! And when I was in the ring with Shadow, I didn't care about the fact that he was bigger than me, or that he was stronger than me. I just cared about one thing, proving that I was better than him!”
“Same thing with Pence Weatherlight. Now granted, I didn't endear myself to him by forcing him to defend the APW Undisputed Championship against you and Bryan Payne when he tried to retire with the belt, but the same basic facts applied. He was bigger than me. Stronger than me. More physically gifted in most every way imaginable. And yet, when it was all said and done, I utterly embarrassed him at Christmas Chaos 2010, emphatically defeating him to claim my third Overdrive Championship.”
“And with you, Lester, by making things personal, you have opened yourself up to whole mess of problems that you otherwise wouldn't have. Rather than being able to go into our match simply as friends, trying to test our skill against each other, instead, we must go in as enemies. I really wish that I didn't have to feel such ill will towards you, but you have given me no choice. Rather than accepting the fact that I merely did what I had to do, rather than accepting the fact that I acknowledged that I'd one day be coming after you, after I had completed my commitment to restoring honor and prestige to my Overdrive Championship, you had to bemoan me and mock me, saying that the only reason Ryan Ruckus got the shot at Mayhem instead of me was that I was scared. That's a bold face lie, Lester Only, just like your supposed self betterment. If you want to know the truth, Lester, I was never even approached by President Jeff about possibly fighting you for the Undisputed Championship at Mayhem, as you seemed to imply that I was. And neither have I been approached by President Jeff about dropping my Overdrive Championship before our match, so all your little whining and crying about how I'm not being a 'man' and forfeiting my title before facing you is really quite pointless. You're just making noise, attacking me for no other reason than you need something about me to talk down. You've been grasping for straws, Lester, and by doing so, you're showing your desperation.”
“Because, Lester, even though you acknowledged that you think I can beat you, you were quick to say that it was a rare chance. Did you ever stop to think that the reason it's such a rare chance is because we're rarely opponents in the ring? When we only face each other once every two years, there's not much of a chance for me to beat you, or for that matter, for you to beat me.”
“You tried to deride me by claiming there was a lackluster build up to our match, but the fact is, Lester, if it was lackluster, and I don't think it was, you'd be just as responsible for it as me! But there's something to be said in the simplicity of how it did go down, Lester. Because simply put, I left you laid out in that ring twice in the span of three weeks! Who else in this business can say that they've gotten the better of Lester Only twice in three weeks? Not very many people, Lester, not very many at all! The fact is, we didn't need a huge build up to hype this match. Sure, it may not draw as much renown as a Lester Only versus Sally Talfourd or Lester Only versus Ryan Ruckus, but the fact of the matter is that it's a fresh match that hasn't been seen much before, and certainly not for the APW Undisputed Championship. Anyways, the match should never be about the hype, but rather, the quality of it, and I know that you and I will tear down the house as we tear down one another!”
“But back to what I was saying, the one week where you did get the better of me by giving me that wedgie, I feel that I made a very strong point that night, that being that you are not the same Level-One who beat me two years ago. Heck, you're not even the same Level-One who won your first three APW Undisputed Championships. You are a changed man, one who is more concerned about entertaining the fans than doing the thing that will benefit him the most. As I said before, Lester, you're handicapping yourself, and that is an incredibly dangerous thing to do against the likes of me! Because any hesitation on your part, any moral dilemmas that cause you to take pause, anything of the sort, I will take advantage of! It only takes three seconds to win a championship in this business, and the fact is, Lester, no matter how much better you think you are than me, I just need to be better than you for three seconds!”
“It doesn't matter who's defeated me in the past, it doesn't matter who may have gotten the better of me, the fact is, if I do manage to beat you and win the APW Undisputed Championship, Lester Only, nobody will be able to say that I didn't earn it. I have worked my hardest over the past two years, putting in countless hours in that ring and in the back to make sure that I have become the absolute best wrestler I can be, and I don't feel like all my hard work is in vain. I have made APW a better place simply by being here. And so have you, because John Green and Pence aren't anybody's ideas of quality champions, but the point is that this match on Sunday, July 3rd, is the culmination of my two plus years here in APW. Everything I've done up to this point has been leading me to here. My hellish feud with Shadow over the Overdrive Championship, my run as APW General Manager, my great showing in the Experts Extreme Tournament: Siberia, defeating Pence to become the only ever three time Overdrive Champion, successfully defending my Overdrive Championship in a Scramble Match at RassleMania, and overcoming a broken freakin' arm to retain my title against Khaos, all of these things and so much more have led me to the point where when we step into the ring this Sunday, I am confident that I'm ready to not just hang with you, Lester, but to take your title, and make it mine!”
“We're starting to run out of time here, so I guess I should quickly get to some of those e-mails. Ellie, if you'd be so kind as to read the first one.”
Ellie holds up a piece of paper, reading from it, ”First question, Biggs, this one comes from Larry J. in Bismark, North Dakota. He writes: 'Biggs, considering your recent cancer scare, how has that affected your preparation for your match against Lester Only, and how will it affect the match?'”
”The good news is that it was not cancer. That being said, I feel that the whole experience has made me a stronger person, both mentally and physically. I really do feel like a miracle took place in my life when the doctor gave me the results, and despite how scarey it was, I'm grateful for the experience. In regards to how it affected my training, I guess I did lose a few days to it as I was lost in thought and quite simply couldn't focus on anything else, but once I got my mind set on wrestling Lester, it really became more of an inspiration, because it showed that no matter how long the supposed odds, there's always a way. And to answer your question about how it will affect my match with Lester, not at all. It's not like he can punch me in the area and make it become cancerous, so as it stands, it's just a normal bump or bruise, of which I'd have plenty anyways.”
Also, to further elaborate, even if I did have cancer, I wouldn't want Lester to show me any sympathy or hold back in any way. The fact is, we are fighting for the APW Undisputed Championship, and anything less than his best would be an insult to not only me, but the title.”
”Okay, next question. This is from Martha W. in Portland, Oregon. She asks: 'What did you think of Lester sharing those videos concerning the history between the two of you?'”
”Well, I would begin by saying that it's almost a bit flattering that he would keep those kind of tapes, but considering our former friendship, I guess it's not outside of reason to see why he did. What I find fishy about it is the fact that he waited until now to put them out. I've been very vocal about my support of Lester Only, or rather, Level-One over the years, and to see that he's just now publicly acknowledging that he's done the same for me, well, that implies that he's only revealing it to somehow try and give himself a competitive edge. The fact is, I already knew all that stuff, so it has no bearing on our match. I'm just saying...”
”Last question, from Christopher C., he didn't say where from. He writes: 'Biggs, what do you think about all of Lester's insults directed towards your beautiful wife? She's so much sweeter than he gives her credit for!' Oh thanks for the kind words, Christopher!”
”Wait a sec! Christopher C, as in Chris Cyrus? Nuts, Chris, if you are the one who wrote that question, please, return my call. Onto the question, the fact is that Lester's constant insults of my wife, as well as his assertions that I am homosexual, are merely baseless insults that are further proof of the fact that he hasn't really changed as much as he says he has. If he really has become a different man, he wouldn't rely on such sophomoric humor that not only panders to the lowest common denominator, but also is just in bad taste. Lester, I've never said a word about your lady friends, whom you don't have the decency to marry before you get them knocked up, so please, show me the same courtesy.”
“Well, that's all the questions I have time to answer. In closing, Lester, I want you to know one thing going into our match at Test for the Best, and that one thing is that I am not scared of you! You may seemingly have every advantage in the book, size, strength, the fact that my speed advantage is all but negated against you, not to mention that you're going into this match as the Undisputed Champion. I have to beat you, but you don't beat me. You've been the top dog in APW ever since I got here. But let me remind you, every dog has his day, which also means there's several days that aren't his, wait, that sounded clunky, let me rephrase that. The fact is, Lester, that you've been the king of APW for a long time. You've been the head of the pack. Put the simple truth is that I want what you have. I want the APW Undisputed Championship more than anything else I've ever wanted in my life, and I'll be damned if I mess up this chance I have at getting what I ultimately desire! I've worked too hard and too long to be stopped here, and it's going to take a miracle for you to deny me now! And let's be honest, the miracles have been on my side as of late, haven't they?”
“I fully intend on making history at Test for the Best by becoming the first competitor in APW to hold two titles at once, and what's more, to be the first to hold the top two belts, the APW Undisputed Championship and the APW Overdrive Championship! Lester, I know that I will have to wrestle the match of my life in order to wrest that Undisputed Title from you, but you know that you'll have to wrestle the match of yours to retain! There's no doubt in my mind that we're going to have an amazing match at Test for the Best, and that whoever does end up winning the tournament will have their work cut out for them. Because they will have to prepare themselves to face ME!”
Biggs flashes his trademark smirk.
”Why? Because I'm quite simply OUT OF THIS WORLD!”
Biggs has a confident look on his face, while Ellie claps for him as First Contact comes to a close. The APW logo and copyright flash across the bottom of the screen as it fades to black.
