Post by Nathaniel Havok on Jul 29, 2011 21:09:52 GMT -4
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Welcome to Happy Ending T.V.!
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: When Havok Hacked Sally - *click*Recorded the 29th of July, 2011.
Starring: Nathaniel Havok, and Shane the cameraman
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"Sally Talfourd and Nathaniel Havok present ..."
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"In association with Action Packed Wrestling"
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"When Havok Hacked Sally"
[The scene opens up in a well-lit room, and we find ourselves in what looks to be a news broadcasting station filming room. Nathaniel Havok sits behind the desk, awaiting his cue. A fairly familiar voice can be heard in the background, counting him down. With his suit and tie on, Nathaniel Havok postures up in the chair, ready to hit the network feeds.]
Cameraman: 5...
4...
3..
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Havok: Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to UNhappy Ending T.V.! I’m your host with most, the APW Xtreme Champion, and the best looking man to ever step foot into the life of Ms. Sally Talfourd! I’m the Enforcer of Sorrow, Nathaniel Havok! Today on the show, we’ve got a few good topics to discuss. Shane Borderland and Jason Kash, a breakup for the boyfriends? The sting of betrayal, the lies and deceit! Was there another man in the life of Jason Kash? Is there a new man in the life of Shane Borderland already? Other than that, we’ve got Sally Talfourd and Nathaniel Havok! Someone hears her in the airport saying “It’s too big to fit in there”? What’s this all about? Is there more than meets the eyes between these tag team partners as well? And Nathaniel Havok himself, is he really out of his fucking mind? Is this just a plea to score prescription medication? Why in the blue hell am I talking in the third person? All of this and more, after the break!
Havok: Welcome back! In our top story of the evening, rumor around the professional wrestling campfire is that Jason Kash has made no attempt to contact his tag team partner and secret lover, Shane Borderland. Borderland’s comments were that of an angry lover, enraged by the betrayal of their significant other. He cursed his apparently and for now “former” lover, blubbering about him not even saying goodbye. We here at UNhappy Ending T.V. send our best wishes out to Shane Borderland. We feel like he’s going to need them, seeing as how he’s going into a match with the best male professional wrestler in the world today Sunday night. Will he be able to withstand the pain of treachery enough to outlast the Enforcer of Sorrow? Or will the sting of betrayal be Shane Borderlands final downfall? Many are saying that Jason Kash might have found someone better, as it wouldn’t be all that hard to do in the first place. While Shane Borderland continues to deny these rumors, many believe that Shane has turned his rage into an obsession. Rumor is that he is using his rumored “new lover”, a feminine-looking gentleman only known as “Chris”, to extract his revenge on Kash. This developing story will continue to be followed by our staff, and we will update you if any news is dug up.
In my opinion, I get the feeling that Shane Borderland has a rough road ahead. Nathaniel Havok has went on record as stating that he is going to, and I quote, “rip off his head, and shit down his neck”. Whatever that means, I’m sure that Mr. Havok has been training quite vigorously for this bout. Sunday night, Nathaniel Havok will make his first appearance as APW Xtreme Champion, since he beat former champion Diamante Valentine for the title, this past Overdrive. Rumors have been swirling around that Nathaniel has been suffering from nightmares, and that his mind-set of “Source of all Evil”, is just a loony “alternate reality” created by his incredibly genius, but also disturbed mind. It is rumored that he has begun to see a well-known psychiatrist, to attempt a healing process. Nevertheless, Nathaniel seems to be an indestructible machine these days. Barring the cowardly attacks of Diamante Valentine a few weeks ago, Nathaniel has been on a path of destruction recently. Many say that he’s “gotten his groove back”. I don’t know about that, because that’s Stella’s thing!
[Nathaniel snaps his fingers in the air, and smirks into the camera.]
Havok: All I know is that Nathaniel is indeed on a roll. Whatever it is that’s keeping him motivated, will be sure to play a major role in his upcoming feud with BorderKash. I mean, Organized Violence. Organized Violence will be defending their coveted APW Tag Team Championships at Shockwave, against Nathaniel Havok and Sally Talfourd. Organized Violence has had a couple of fluke victories recently, but many believe that Nathaniel Havok and Sally Talfourd are the real deal. Many have said that it’s only a matter of time before Havok and Talfourd capture the belts from their new rivals. Whatever the case may be, this rivalry is sure to continue it’s gain in momentum! The question is, will Jason Kash be man enough to show up in his match with Sally Talfourd? Will he have an explanation for his boyfriend? Will we find out who the bitch is in the relationship? And what about Chris? Sandwich action in the midst’s?
[Nathaniel looks around the room with a smile on his face. He looks back into the camera now, getting a serious look on his face.]
Havok: I would like to make it clear at this time, that we here at UNhappy Ending T.V. share no views and/or opinions about the lifestyle chosen by the two men of Organized Violence. We are open to all forms of living and alternative lifestyles. I however, think that the bromance known as BorderKash, is down right fucking hilarious. Allow me to extend my advise to your aching heart, Shane. He’s not worth it, girlfriend. If he’s going to leave you high and dry, I think that you should take your “talents” elsewhere, if you know what I mean.
…find a new tag team partner.
In other news, a fan of famous website and magazine Pro Wrastlin’ Insider, passed along some news out of Billings, Montana. He claims that he heard Sally Talfourd express dislike to her partner Nathaniel, by saying “No, absolutely not. It’s too big to fit in there”! We decided to look into the situation, and found out that it was all a big misunderstanding. Sally was simply responding to Nathaniel, asking her to put his newly won Xtreme Championship in her carry-on bag. He didn’t want it to be considered a personal or a carry-on item. He ended up sticking that big ol’ belt right into the bag of cameraman Shane. Rumor has it that Shane allowed him to shove that thing right on in, and did it with a smile on his face.
[Nathaniel can’t help himself, and let’s out a bit of a snicker. He quickly gets back on track, not really breaking character.]
Havok: Nathaniel has been going through a lot lately, with all his sleep issues, and the coverage of him visiting a psychiatrist, it’s a wonder how he can continue to wrestle. Many have recently accused him of being crazy and insane. Nathaniel Havok wont on record as saying…
[All of the sudden Nathaniel breaks character, kicks the chair out from under him, rips off his shirt and blazer, and looks at the camera with rage in his face.]
Havok I AM INSANE! I AM THE POSTER-BOY FOR INSANITY!
[Nathaniel gives a crazed look to the camera.]
Havok: What I’ve got going on, has nothing to do with the fact that in this body, there’s the mind of a fucking mad man! Shane Borderland, you need not worry about the personal life of the Enforcer of Sorrow, because it wont play a factor in our match this Sunday night! While my mortality might be in question, there is no doubt that I am the sickest man that has ever graced this industry with his presence! You’ve got a little something extra for me? Is that right, Shane? Well check this out, I’ve got a world full of pain and grief for you! Your “talents” that I spoke of can be far outweigh by the level of your stupidity! It’s common knowledge that you do not poke a mean dog, with a sharp stick. Guess what your partner did to me, after I won the Xtreme Championship last week. He hit the meanest dog in the yard, with a steel folding chair. Now, I’m out to extract my revenge!
What kind of partner would set you up for failure like this, my man? What kind of stand-up guy would leave his buddy high and dry, after pissing off a man that he’s got a match with next week? Boyfriend or not, all joking aside, that’s a real dickhead move, isn’t it Borderland? For him to piss me off, and to leave you to suffer the consequences? If Sally were to do that to me, I know that we’d have some major trust issues. But you, you’ll forgive him once your lips meet his, and he sweet talks you into taking him back. Now, isn’t that sweet?
[Nathaniel chuckles.]
Havok: Borderland, you have no idea what’s going to happen to you, this Sunday night. I on the other hand, know everything that you’re in for. The sad truth is, your career in APW, could very-well be over. I don’t take kindly to people taking advantage of me when I’m distracted, like Kash did. Now, since I can’t get to him, that would make you the next best thing, wouldn’t it? Therefore, you will be the metaphorical instrument. I will use you to send a message! He should have known better, and you will meet an early fate! He has placed you in harms way, put his tail between his legs, and ran like a coward! He’s left you to pay the piper. If his attack isn’t a reasonable enough excuse, I’m sure you’ve got some skeletons in your closet that I could dig up. Kash’s attack in question or not, you will still pay for your sins. You want me to pray, Shane? You want me to get down on my knees and pray for my survival?
[Nathaniel delivers an evil smirk.]
Havok: I don’t think you need to be concerned with my religious views, Shane. I think that you should be concerned with your own. Get close to God, while you’ve still got the chance. Follow in his path, do as he would like for you to do, and be as righteous as you can, for the time being! Because Sunday night, you’ve got a date with destiny. And your destiny, will bring you to your maker! Game time is over, Shane! There’s nothing else that I can say. The rest, is up to you. I’ll see you at Asylum, Shane.
…And tell Kash that I’ll see him soon, one way or another.
[Nathaniel smirks into the camera as the scene fades out. All of the sudden, the boom mic falls to the floor, almost hitting Nathaniel in the face.]
Havok: Oh, come on Shane! That’s bullshit! I’m trying to cut a promo here!
[Sally Talfourd’s cameraman runs into the scene, grabbing the boom mic and running back out. Nathaniel looks at him in fury as the scene fades to black.]
