Post by JD Storm on Aug 10, 2011 23:12:49 GMT -4
Scene opens at the Grand Ol’ Opery. A crew is trying to set up the stage for the day’s festivities. Several people are checking equipment, testing the sound and whatnot. Sitting up in the nosebleeds, watching the action, is Gambling Superstars.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
The Grand Ole Opery. The stage where wanna-be’s and washed up has beens come. Old geezers filling these very seats with their dentures, hearing aids, their stories of when they walked fifty miles one way in order to go to a one room schoolhouse. As much as I despise it here in Branson, there’s one place that’s definitely worse. Instead of being in the Old Geezer Tourist Capital of North America, we get to hang out at the home of country music…….Nashville.
I won’t rail too hard on Country music, as a whole. Anyone with musical taste knows that the genre was actually entertaining, at one time. Didn’t matter if it was Willie Nelson, Oak Ridge Boys, Kenny Rogers or Johnny Cash.
Gambler looks at Bodacious, right eyebrow raised.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Now, the genre is full of people that could pass as Pop Stars, rather then true country performers. Much like APW used to be full of wrestlers that knew how to actually kick someone’s ass. So many people now that don’t know what talent is, don’t know what charisma is. There’s just too many people that are all sizzle and no steak.
Gambler
That’s exactly what we’re dealing with at Asylum. Plenty of sizzle. No steak. After all, we’ve got a team called the Most Hated teaming with BDC. Most Hated, more like Most Boring. A team that nobody really cares about. A team that could use a lot more then 10% luck. Considering that Tyler Vaughn is part of the team, I’m not sure there’s enough luck in the world to help. I’ve already planted my boot up your backside a few times already. For some God forsaken reason, that simply isn’t enough for you. No talent. Lousy looks. At least 50% douche bag, 30% moron and 20% pathetic.
Considering that your partner is Hopper Rose, you’d better pray for 100% luck. The deck has been stacked heavily against you, as it is. With you, Hopper Rose and BDC, this has got to be the worst combination of people ever. If our opponents were a jar full of pull tabs, they’d be a dead jar. No winners in the group. Nothing more then a group of suckers taking money away from the saps, but giving nothing in return.
At least with some of these wannabe country acts, you’ll get some entertainment value out of them. They at least pretend to be cowboys. Our opponents, however, can’t even do that properly. They pretend to be wrestlers, but do a lousy job convincing anyone of that.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Ladies, do us a favor. Either learn to actually wrestle or get the hell out of our ring. That simple. We’re tired of wasting time on posers, week in & week out. We want real competition, someone that can give us the challenge we really need. Even Cyrus has provided more of a challenge to us then you guys are. He’s at least doing something to try and deal with us. From what I’ve seen of Most Hated, it’s the exact opposite. They keep dealing with the crap, each and every week. Pathetic. Simply pathetic.
Maybe we can find some Little Haters, Little Monsters or Little Jimmies for you to hang out with. That way, we can start being true, world class superstars that we’re meant to be.
Scene fades to black.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
The Grand Ole Opery. The stage where wanna-be’s and washed up has beens come. Old geezers filling these very seats with their dentures, hearing aids, their stories of when they walked fifty miles one way in order to go to a one room schoolhouse. As much as I despise it here in Branson, there’s one place that’s definitely worse. Instead of being in the Old Geezer Tourist Capital of North America, we get to hang out at the home of country music…….Nashville.
I won’t rail too hard on Country music, as a whole. Anyone with musical taste knows that the genre was actually entertaining, at one time. Didn’t matter if it was Willie Nelson, Oak Ridge Boys, Kenny Rogers or Johnny Cash.
Gambler looks at Bodacious, right eyebrow raised.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Now, the genre is full of people that could pass as Pop Stars, rather then true country performers. Much like APW used to be full of wrestlers that knew how to actually kick someone’s ass. So many people now that don’t know what talent is, don’t know what charisma is. There’s just too many people that are all sizzle and no steak.
Gambler
That’s exactly what we’re dealing with at Asylum. Plenty of sizzle. No steak. After all, we’ve got a team called the Most Hated teaming with BDC. Most Hated, more like Most Boring. A team that nobody really cares about. A team that could use a lot more then 10% luck. Considering that Tyler Vaughn is part of the team, I’m not sure there’s enough luck in the world to help. I’ve already planted my boot up your backside a few times already. For some God forsaken reason, that simply isn’t enough for you. No talent. Lousy looks. At least 50% douche bag, 30% moron and 20% pathetic.
Considering that your partner is Hopper Rose, you’d better pray for 100% luck. The deck has been stacked heavily against you, as it is. With you, Hopper Rose and BDC, this has got to be the worst combination of people ever. If our opponents were a jar full of pull tabs, they’d be a dead jar. No winners in the group. Nothing more then a group of suckers taking money away from the saps, but giving nothing in return.
At least with some of these wannabe country acts, you’ll get some entertainment value out of them. They at least pretend to be cowboys. Our opponents, however, can’t even do that properly. They pretend to be wrestlers, but do a lousy job convincing anyone of that.
“Superstar” Bobby Bodacious
Ladies, do us a favor. Either learn to actually wrestle or get the hell out of our ring. That simple. We’re tired of wasting time on posers, week in & week out. We want real competition, someone that can give us the challenge we really need. Even Cyrus has provided more of a challenge to us then you guys are. He’s at least doing something to try and deal with us. From what I’ve seen of Most Hated, it’s the exact opposite. They keep dealing with the crap, each and every week. Pathetic. Simply pathetic.
Maybe we can find some Little Haters, Little Monsters or Little Jimmies for you to hang out with. That way, we can start being true, world class superstars that we’re meant to be.
Scene fades to black.
